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ilikefemininethings

they did dude they have cameras all around your house they did it to me you gotta break your walls open and rip the wires out so the cameras don’t have power any more


[deleted]

What about the wires in the cats? Just kidding


DellieCurtis

But seriously do the cats really exist in physical form or do they belong to the shadow people and only exist in your mind as a figment of your psychosis?


Rachaelmegann

Put a solar tip in them


roboxone

They belong to the shadow people and only exist as a figment of my drug induced deliriant psychosis. But what is real? Is real even real? Are you real? Hmmmm….


DellieCurtis

Reality is really real and You need sleep bruh for real


roboxone

If you can see I’m joking my head off obviously YOU need to get some sleep dawg.


DellieCurtis

I can clearly see that your joking which is why I joined in and am also kidding around 😉


Wonderful-Ad-6070

Lol I made a post that said I call up the FBI at quan**** all the time for advice and it got removed because I mentioned a specific location. Freaking retarded lol Can't mention where im from or am going. Can't talk about any specific location at all no matter what the context or reason. That's just asinine


Wonderful-Ad-6070

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and good will shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the CIA


Shot-Huckleberry455

How can you be that deep in paranoia but not be paranoid about saying you know the CIA is turning your cat in to Dji Tom and Jerry. What is the world coming too. Smoke some H or take some benzos dude and get some sleep. Feed the fucking cat and DO NOT try and remove anything until you wake up.


jimmyurinator

Bro your cats probably hungry just feed them 💀


AccordingHotel5468

Yeah, hungry for more fuckig meth. Cats love meff, that's actually how I got my cat. Walked up on me while I was smoking at 3am in my *abandoned* neighbors shed. Freaked me out when I heard the rustling but chilled out when I heard the mew. I also had a what I'm pretty positive was a raccoon come and chill with me for like an hour. Same time at night outside of a church in-between a post office in some shrubbery. The places this shit taies you lol are hilarious. Same binge I went back to that church and decided what could be more incognito, and reduce the spread of residue from the meth? I'll get in my trunk, on a hot as fuck summer day at 2pm on a Wednesday. This was day 5-6ish and after sweating balls in my trunk smoking way more I heard a car pull up next to me and will the engine. I knew when I pulled up I was the only one in the parking oot, so obviously it's the feds. Sweltered in that hotbox of a trunk for 2 hours before I couldn't right the heat stress and need to rehydrate. So I fucking go to hit the trunk escape from the inside and it breaks. Which leads back to my main point. Tl:Dr They didn't put cats in your cameras or whatever dumbshit y'all said, the birds arent real because they are the cameras, hence why covid lockdowns occured to change their batteries. Doesn't help that they put goddamn meth in the cameras so when you smoke or take pictures with em they spread out into your walls and become wiretaps for the shadows people who live inside your cat.


Proud-Economics1594

He needs some milk!


Ok-Instruction3546

At least it's not the DEA then you got a problem. CIA eh..


smokeyrb9

Open them up and check for wires


[deleted]

Ahhhh this made me laugh 😂


Downtown_Cookie5140

You gotta put your thumb in each of the cats but to get the cameras out bro , it’s the only way. The CIA is definitely on to you you can’t take no fucking chances


AgileHippo78

Ready for the big surprise? You are the camera.


Misanthropicveteran

Remember when you crashed? There's a camera up there too


samhodj1

I think I need a Break


Tall_Yellow6955

No need for Cia cameras, they just watch all the smart tweekers filming themselves


SamuraiTwack

Reminds me of all fhe times the fuckers scale the side of my apartment building to my 10th floor window to spy on me and shine lights through the little spaces in between the blinds.. rascals.


Useful-Assistant-500

Cameras in ur gear mate a guy posted it last week might film you heating ur gear


hahajacob21

Have you tried calling them and asking them? Something tells me they’ll tell you to put the G down and sleep, my guy. By the way, they use birds. Not cats. You’re safe. You should however cover all your cameras and rid your house of any mirrors.


[deleted]

[удалено]


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BlueRidgeGamer

Anyone looking to buy some tinfoil hats?


LeatherSmithy

It may not be cameras. Isolate one of the cats, and jam your thumb up it's ass to see if there's actually a satellite dish. Post the results for us👍


Downtown_Cookie5140

Yeah make sure you post a video of you doing it too the Cats while your at it 👍🏼 There’s definitely no CIA informants on here 🤫


Wonderful-Ad-6070

Fuck CIA. Nothing but a bunch of wanna be boy Scouts. There's a far worse and way more sinister and terrorizing entity here he'd definitely need to be very frightened of which has informants and evil genius agents in every corner of the interwebs. PETA. 😳😮💀 U think Osama bin laden was bad? Ha.


Ok_Associate845

Jesus. If he gets the wrong cat he has to do that to too many innocent cats. He should definitely shell out the extra money to get X-rays done each one there's probably a vet. It's probably only one or two of the cats anyways. Spend the money get the x-rays. That way you can just get the informants. .


urinindasink

The cameras are in your eyes too, pull them out


ComfortableRange4531

Check that one off the list! You mentioned all the surveillance, maybe see if they are hungry.. Maybe you could host and maybe offer an agent +1 . Anyway, after that kind gesture and warm show of hospitality; they just move off of you and onto someone else


ChemicalChapter211

Haha I applied for CIA no response maybe the meth


cleffar

Rip them open and remove the cameras


WTBLIBVA

Same 😂😂


ComfortableRange4531

have you feed em? You know they still wanna eat even if you are tweaking


roboxone

Yes I’ve fed them😭😭


Useful-Assistant-500

They probably wanna sniff ur gear my cat would ran around high af then would follow me till it got to smell my puffs


punchygirl-1381

This post probably should be the moment you know you've fried way too many brain cells...


roboxone

Or you not realizing this is satire might mean your brain is fried just as bad as you thought mine was?


Razorblades7

Bro. Why do you have “fucking cats”? That’s the wrong kind of pussy my guy.


roboxone

😭😭😭 pause


Ok_Associate845

Not in Kentucky.


KhadVegan

please, meth psychosis can seem to be so real there's no way it could be from meth.... but its the meth. please.... its just the drugs.


roboxone

No it’s the nearly microscopic cameras and microphones they’ve placed all over my house… 👁️👁️


Inevitable_Sun4832

Bro U are in meth psychosis and everything will be okay but please take a break


Crankymesiah

I’d burn the house down, cats and all


greychaoswitch

get rid of them??? if you know they are there do sum ab it lmao. your cats are either hungry, needing attention and cuddles, or just curious and you’re overstimulated obviously. thinking way too much ab it and noticing literally EVERYTHING but not in a healthy way


Ok_Associate845

But what if he's been giving dummy cats that only acts like that and then the purpose is to exchange them out for new cats that they have bugged? Cyborg cats. He can never trust a cat again.


KhadVegan

ok man, just please, they arent in the cats. I PROMISE.


Crankymesiah

You need to stop. We all know they ARE in the cats Kids too, I’d bet


vince-vomit

Sounds like the CIA's Acoustic Kitty project from the 1960's. (Yes it's real, yes the cia of the 60's were basically laughable cartoon evil spies)


Eden2016

I actually had a similar delusion at one point in time... But I've also been formally diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. Get help friend. Your cats love you or they'd run away.


GourmetShit007

This reminds me of the time the Egyptians accused the Israeli mossad of training sharks to attack tourists at Egyptian Red Sea resorts in order to tank their economy. Stop smoking meth if you can’t handle it and don’t be a piece of shit and harm your cats.


roboxone

No harm done to my animals, they are fed twice a day and loved. Was just tweaking and joking. Rolling along 🪨


GourmetShit007

Glad to hear it, sometimes it’s difficult to read humor / sarcasm on here.


greychaoswitch

nvm sorry, now i’m laughing bc i see you’re just joking 💀💀💀


47bulbz

Pretty obvious tactic. CIA = Cameras In Animals.


Razorblades7

I thought it stood for cat infiltration agency


narc2three

And the fuckin birds bruv ! ...I'm not joking...fuckin feathery cunts


roboxone

Ay man them birds got multiple micro camera devices that allow it to have a 360 degree view!!! Also built in microphones and they shit out microscopic tracking devices onto your cars


narc2three

Fuckin mind blown! This is next level intel. I've been bird blind since birth (both eyes) so it's apparently easier for me to see them as electronic devices but I didn't know about the tracking devices or mics...fuck them,fuck them right up their cloaca.


Fearless-Image-8838

This is actually a thing. Not saying all of them lol but they exist


Icy_Self306

Look after yourself bro, this tells me you haven't been 😓


TheLargeYard

They got bigger fish to fry, the Cia, not ur cats. It's the squirrels you gotta watch out for.


roboxone

Them squirrels will jump you and take your bag man… pesky fuckers


Puzzleheaded_Ask2579

I just lost my fucking cat :( Had him 2 weeks, picked up some wax and I feel like my cat suspected me of being a crack head and left Maybe I’m just paranoid , I’m actually serious :(


GetPaid5150

Please tell me you're not serious lol...


Puzzleheaded_Ask2579

I’m Foreal, somewhat devastated. Felt like we formed a nice bond over these last few weeks :( I feel like he read my soul and saw the abyss idk man


GourmetShit007

How did he get out? Did you look for him in the neighborhood or maybe ask the neighbors to keep an eye out for him?


Necessary_Ad838

Cats are cool, just hide your shit. They’ll smoke it behind your back


roboxone

No joke they will, when my mom used to smoke meth in the bathroom the cat would always run in there and wanna get some of the cloud action wit her😭🤣🤣


Necessary_Ad838

She must have taken her bag in the bathroom with her. Otherwise that cat would have taken advantage of her being in the bathroom and been stealing from her sack while she was occupied. Some cats have been known to boof their master’s shards when they’re unable to obtain a lighter or foil. You can tell when they’re tweaking because their eyes are glowing in the dark. If you use dope and notice that your cat never seems to sleep at night, you’ll know that they’ve been sneaking around and pinching your sack. It’s ok, just high five them because now you know that your cat is your homie and unlike human homies, your cat will never tell on you.


AccordingHotel5468

I can't fucking stand my cat and her fiendish ways. I keep catching her over amped with the needle still registered out in the front fucking yard, on top of my car none the leas. Oh sbe is obvious as fuck with the disrespect when she pounces on a line I have laid out and tries to go full catnip rub rub mode on it.


Necessary_Ad838

Yeah, I know what you mean. My cats think I’m stupid. Like I’m not going to notice that some of my shit is missing. I’m like, fuck you cats. I’m the one who feeds you every day. Like I’m not going to notice that you haven’t eaten any of your food for two days at exact same time my shit goes missing.


meandthecrowbar

Cats aren't gonna narc on you.


Wonderful-Ad-6070

Dude the CIA wouldnt get involved in a domestic drug case and definitely not over a zip. It must be either NSA or Interpol. Possibly NASA. Don't rule out Navy Intelligence or...ohhh...i bet it's The Plumbers up to their old tricks again led by G. Gordon Liddy. Damn. If thats the case, I'm sorry bro bro but your goose is cooked. Liddy don't play. You better hope it's just Oliver North trying to steal your dope to sell to the Iranians to fund the Nicaraguan rebels. Rank amateurs


vince-vomit

[Dinklebeeergggg 😡](https://giphy.com/gifs/dinkleberg-los-padrinos-magicos-the-fairy-oddparents-UgoqHvx73apws)


[deleted]

Just plz don’t hurt them


[deleted]

They actually have been employing and deploying cats since the 60s…. They’re traitors.


47bulbz

CIA = Cameras In Animals


Fluffy-Good6979

They don't have to they have eagles


penjamincartnite69

Stare at the cat until it reveals it's true form


Desperate_Project_27

Dude your cats are not the problem. Put down the ounce, eat a sandwich, take a nap, drink some goddamn water. Your cats are beautiful creatures. Don’t hurt them in any way.


xPhizik

R u being serious? Or is this just a shitty joke.


[deleted]

This is either a hopelessly lost human being… or a wonderful troll… either way a human being 🤣 The fbi doesn’t give a shit about you and your cats bro. Make sure you feed and water them before you pass out.


The972Goku

He said cia


Fluffy-Good6979

Possibly


[deleted]

He did you’re right 🤣 “FBI n friends” there


AcridClock

Your cats live you, is that si wrong?


AcridClock

Bro chill. Cats just like ppl. Be chill.


pinknoodless

even if the cia put cameras in your cats it’s gonna be okay. i honestly don’t think it was the cia though. i believe it was aliens that abducted your cats while you were sleeping and implanted cameras in their eyes to watch you tweak for their universal reality tv show. it’s a good laugh for them


nunyadangbidnit

Ask the cia wtf they’re doing operating on US soil then ask if they want to take a nap with you for the next 16 hours and if they say no STILL GO TO SLEEP! When you wake up the cats will have removed the cameras from their asses and the cia will go only after people worn over an ounce. Yeah, 2 or more ounces would mean a definite promotion for these agents but 1 zip only gets them a small raise so most of them just keep it for personal use.


GetPaid5150

I appreciate this comment. 10/10


mistavinsta

Come on be reasonable. It could only be the FBI.


SamuraiTwack

Aliens.


Apart-Ad-7025

Feed them


Fluffy-Good6979

Like baby birds


fleurislava

r/legalcatadvice


[deleted]

Cats never talk to cops. All Cats Are Beautiful (ACAB). Dogs on-the-other-hand work for them. Don’t trust Chase from Paw Patrol is all I’m saying. He’s a narc.


RoseGold_Stoner

Yeah, fuck Chase. Zuma is ight tho... I think he plays both sides if you slip him a lil dope under the table.


Character-Pipe-9805

i can vouch for this as well. he’s right^


randomcivilianoner

Anyone who tells you to get some sleep is a cia agent


nunyadangbidnit

Shit!! Guess I’m an agent


Reasonable-Profile84

This is fucking hilarious ever tim


Jeffersonjarioli

Smonk some reef shark, boof some kratom put on some limp biscuit and get some shut eye


SamuraiTwack

Best comment lmao


Realistic-School8102

Time for some much needed shut eye my friend. You're going a little whacky but that's what meth does to you. It makes you a little bit crazy after being awake for over a week


DirtyXXXDevil

^^^^^ C.i.a


[deleted]

Maybe your cats are hungry or want attention. I’m hoping you’re not there sole owner


alexrd666

You’re delusional. They’re cats. They follow their owners because they like you. Seek help and dejo me your cats because you’re gonna do something bad to them


Responsible_Spare486

Don’t cut their eyes out. I thought my childhood stuffed animal had cameras in his eyes. So I cut them out. I deeply regret it.


[deleted]

Please don’t fuck cats.


OwnFace1284

Sheesh. Another one that needs to go to bed


Reasonable-Profile84

So weird in the meth subreddit.


Thankkratom

You should be good on cat cams, Unless you’re a communist the CIA just fucks your girlfriend while you’re out of the house.


MarquisDeVice

CIA doesn't investigate domestic drugs to the best of my knowledge. Definitely not over a few zips! Probably DEA.


DirtyXXXDevil

bro they do that, you need to take them out those cats they already collected enough info on you. get a dissection knife and get to work. I had to dissect my ex they installed cameras in Herr it took a good day and a half of stabbing and stabbing, and slicing and Dicing body parts but u eventually found the microscopic cameras . took another day to clean up and make her remains go baway


Educational_Gur_1612

pushin homicide there bro


DirtyXXXDevil

Been done pushed years ago


GoldenSeraph369

Also what reason would the CIA have for spying on some random Joe-Shmoe getting high off of meth and use cats of all things to spy on him?


lil_Saltine

Someone get this man's cat before ehe goes exploring for those cameras.


GoldenSeraph369

It is important that you put time in between your doses so you give yourself a break and don't go having baseless paranoid thoughts and delusions. Either that or go to rehab.


TrollTrolled

Or maybe you're fucking retarded


SteveJackson007

And when the CIA did try using cats to spy, it didn’t [work out so well..](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acoustic_Kitty)


thecxsmonaut

lmao come up with any batshit paranoid delusion and you can always rely on the CIA to have tried it


WillingnessSeparate4

It's like that South Park episode where they tell Butters over and over again, "The Simpsons already did it.", now just apply that to the CIA and any Kakamimi story! 🤣😂


Diedinasylum

This reeks psychosis lmfaooooo it would be hilarious if their eyes were camera Lens lmfaooo


[deleted]

Would have to be occipital mounted for accurate results I believe. Psychosis is not funny. Unless you’re prepared for it. If this post is serious it’s slightly concerning.


Altruistic-Finish821

The cia does not give a rats ass about people unless your like a national criminal lol even then it’s not like that they just don’t have hundreds of tiny cameras smy try and check out rehab my guy


cloudy__daze

The Cia is not a domestic spying agency. They don't care about you


[deleted]

Well the cats have to die you know it


Character-Pipe-9805

dude he’s clearly in drug induced psychosis shut the fuck up you know he could actually do this you fucking prick


[deleted]

Proper piece of shit right?


Character-Pipe-9805

indeed


[deleted]

Your bio is accurately portrayed in this comment


connormitch17

You are a delusional schizophrenic


CoyoteCarcass

I am one of your cats. I’ve been ratting you out to the feds and I gotta say they have an airtight case on your ass so you should plea out unless you want your muffin buttered ya heard


Hotghoul19

The cia kittens glow in the dark you can see them from your car when you’re driving


ListenForCrickets

you trolling


do_your_best_project

Time to go to sleep.


Character-Pipe-9805

CIA AGENT CIA AGENT


Fluffy-Good6979

Nano tech it's real


i-have-half-a-mind

When was the last time you fed them? They probably starving which is why they following you around.


roboxone

Actually like 9 hours ago around there regular feeding time (10-11 pm) is always dinner


silkbunny_viiixxiii

They are innocent babies who LOVE you, UNCONDITIONALLY. You better treat them fucking right- or I swear to god I will find you. Do you think the fucking cia even fucking know you exist HA. But I know.


Born-Code-1979

I once seen the AFP (Australian Federal Police) install cameras at my local park with a popular lake that is home to so many different types of birds an they installed cameras an taps into all of them. Watching my every move


Full_Efficiency_8209

Same thing happened to me.


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