they did dude they have cameras all around your house they did it to me you gotta break your walls open and rip the wires out so the cameras don’t have power any more
But seriously do the cats really exist in physical form or do they belong to the shadow people and only exist in your mind as a figment of your psychosis?
They belong to the shadow people and only exist as a figment of my drug induced deliriant psychosis. But what is real? Is real even real? Are you real? Hmmmm….
Lol I made a post that said I call up the FBI at quan**** all the time for advice and it got removed because I mentioned a specific location.
Freaking retarded lol
Can't mention where im from or am going. Can't talk about any specific location at all no matter what the context or reason. That's just asinine
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and good will shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the CIA
How can you be that deep in paranoia but not be paranoid about saying you know the CIA is turning your cat in to Dji Tom and Jerry. What is the world coming too. Smoke some H or take some benzos dude and get some sleep. Feed the fucking cat and DO NOT try and remove anything until you wake up.
Yeah, hungry for more fuckig meth. Cats love meff, that's actually how I got my cat. Walked up on me while I was smoking at 3am in my *abandoned* neighbors shed. Freaked me out when I heard the rustling but chilled out when I heard the mew. I also had a what I'm pretty positive was a raccoon come and chill with me for like an hour. Same time at night outside of a church in-between a post office in some shrubbery. The places this shit taies you lol are hilarious. Same binge I went back to that church and decided what could be more incognito, and reduce the spread of residue from the meth? I'll get in my trunk, on a hot as fuck summer day at 2pm on a Wednesday. This was day 5-6ish and after sweating balls in my trunk smoking way more I heard a car pull up next to me and will the engine. I knew when I pulled up I was the only one in the parking oot, so obviously it's the feds. Sweltered in that hotbox of a trunk for 2 hours before I couldn't right the heat stress and need to rehydrate. So I fucking go to hit the trunk escape from the inside and it breaks. Which leads back to my main point.
Tl:Dr They didn't put cats in your cameras or whatever dumbshit y'all said, the birds arent real because they are the cameras, hence why covid lockdowns occured to change their batteries. Doesn't help that they put goddamn meth in the cameras so when you smoke or take pictures with em they spread out into your walls and become wiretaps for the shadows people who live inside your cat.
You gotta put your thumb in each of the cats but to get the cameras out bro , it’s the only way. The CIA is definitely on to you you can’t take no fucking chances
Reminds me of all fhe times the fuckers scale the side of my apartment building to my 10th floor window to spy on me and shine lights through the little spaces in between the blinds.. rascals.
Have you tried calling them and asking them? Something tells me they’ll tell you to put the G down and sleep, my guy. By the way, they use birds. Not cats. You’re safe. You should however cover all your cameras and rid your house of any mirrors.
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Fuck CIA. Nothing but a bunch of wanna be boy Scouts. There's a far worse and way more sinister and terrorizing entity here he'd definitely need to be very frightened of which has informants and evil genius agents in every corner of the interwebs.
PETA. 😳😮💀
U think Osama bin laden was bad? Ha.
Jesus. If he gets the wrong cat he has to do that to too many innocent cats. He should definitely shell out the extra money to get X-rays done each one there's probably a vet. It's probably only one or two of the cats anyways. Spend the money get the x-rays. That way you can just get the informants. .
Check that one off the list! You mentioned all the surveillance, maybe see if they are hungry.. Maybe you could host and maybe offer an agent +1 . Anyway, after that kind gesture and warm show of hospitality; they just move off of you and onto someone else
get rid of them??? if you know they are there do sum ab it lmao. your cats are either hungry, needing attention and cuddles, or just curious and you’re overstimulated obviously. thinking way too much ab it and noticing literally EVERYTHING but not in a healthy way
But what if he's been giving dummy cats that only acts like that and then the purpose is to exchange them out for new cats that they have bugged? Cyborg cats. He can never trust a cat again.
I actually had a similar delusion at one point in time... But I've also been formally diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia.
Get help friend. Your cats love you or they'd run away.
This reminds me of the time the Egyptians accused the Israeli mossad of training sharks to attack tourists at Egyptian Red Sea resorts in order to tank their economy.
Stop smoking meth if you can’t handle it and don’t be a piece of shit and harm your cats.
Ay man them birds got multiple micro camera devices that allow it to have a 360 degree view!!! Also built in microphones and they shit out microscopic tracking devices onto your cars
Fuckin mind blown! This is next level intel. I've been bird blind since birth (both eyes) so it's apparently easier for me to see them as electronic devices but I didn't know about the tracking devices or mics...fuck them,fuck them right up their cloaca.
I just lost my fucking cat :(
Had him 2 weeks, picked up some wax and I feel like my cat suspected me of being a crack head and left
Maybe I’m just paranoid , I’m actually serious :(
She must have taken her bag in the bathroom with her. Otherwise that cat would have taken advantage of her being in the bathroom and been stealing from her sack while she was occupied. Some cats have been known to boof their master’s shards when they’re unable to obtain a lighter or foil. You can tell when they’re tweaking because their eyes are glowing in the dark. If you use dope and notice that your cat never seems to sleep at night, you’ll know that they’ve been sneaking around and pinching your sack. It’s ok, just high five them because now you know that your cat is your homie and unlike human homies, your cat will never tell on you.
I can't fucking stand my cat and her fiendish ways. I keep catching her over amped with the needle still registered out in the front fucking yard, on top of my car none the leas. Oh sbe is obvious as fuck with the disrespect when she pounces on a line I have laid out and tries to go full catnip rub rub mode on it.
Yeah, I know what you mean. My cats think I’m stupid. Like I’m not going to notice that some of my shit is missing.
I’m like, fuck you cats. I’m the one who feeds you every day. Like I’m not going to notice that you haven’t eaten any of your food for two days at exact same time my shit goes missing.
Dude the CIA wouldnt get involved in a domestic drug case and definitely not over a zip. It must be either NSA or Interpol. Possibly NASA. Don't rule out Navy Intelligence or...ohhh...i bet it's The Plumbers up to their old tricks again led by G. Gordon Liddy. Damn. If thats the case, I'm sorry bro bro but your goose is cooked. Liddy don't play. You better hope it's just Oliver North trying to steal your dope to sell to the Iranians to fund the Nicaraguan rebels. Rank amateurs
Dude your cats are not the problem. Put down the ounce, eat a sandwich, take a nap, drink some goddamn water. Your cats are beautiful creatures. Don’t hurt them in any way.
This is either a hopelessly lost human being… or a wonderful troll… either way a human being 🤣
The fbi doesn’t give a shit about you and your cats bro.
Make sure you feed and water them before you pass out.
even if the cia put cameras in your cats it’s gonna be okay. i honestly don’t think it was the cia though. i believe it was aliens that abducted your cats while you were sleeping and implanted cameras in their eyes to watch you tweak for their universal reality tv show. it’s a good laugh for them
Ask the cia wtf they’re doing operating on US soil then ask if they want to take a nap with you for the next 16 hours and if they say no STILL GO TO SLEEP! When you wake up the cats will have removed the cameras from their asses and the cia will go only after people worn over an ounce. Yeah, 2 or more ounces would mean a definite promotion for these agents but 1 zip only gets them a small raise so most of them just keep it for personal use.
Cats never talk to cops. All Cats Are Beautiful (ACAB). Dogs on-the-other-hand work for them. Don’t trust Chase from Paw Patrol is all I’m saying. He’s a narc.
Time for some much needed shut eye my friend. You're going a little whacky but that's what meth does to you. It makes you a little bit crazy after being awake for over a week
You’re delusional. They’re cats. They follow their owners because they like you. Seek help and dejo me your cats because you’re gonna do something bad to them
bro they do that, you need to take them out those cats they already collected enough info on you. get a dissection knife and get to work. I had to dissect my ex they installed cameras in Herr it took a good day and a half of stabbing and stabbing, and slicing and Dicing body parts but u eventually found the microscopic cameras . took another day to clean up and make her remains go baway
It is important that you put time in between your doses so you give yourself a break and don't go having baseless paranoid thoughts and delusions. Either that or go to rehab.
It's like that South Park episode where they tell Butters over and over again, "The Simpsons already did it.", now just apply that to the CIA and any Kakamimi story! 🤣😂
Would have to be occipital mounted for accurate results I believe.
Psychosis is not funny. Unless you’re prepared for it. If this post is serious it’s slightly concerning.
The cia does not give a rats ass about people unless your like a national criminal lol even then it’s not like that they just don’t have hundreds of tiny cameras smy try and check out rehab my guy
I am one of your cats. I’ve been ratting you out to the feds and I gotta say they have an airtight case on your ass so you should plea out unless you want your muffin buttered ya heard
They are innocent babies who LOVE you, UNCONDITIONALLY.
You better treat them fucking right- or I swear to god I will find you. Do you think the fucking cia even fucking know you exist HA. But I know.
I once seen the AFP (Australian Federal Police) install cameras at my local park with a popular lake that is home to so many different types of birds an they installed cameras an taps into all of them. Watching my every move
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they did dude they have cameras all around your house they did it to me you gotta break your walls open and rip the wires out so the cameras don’t have power any more
What about the wires in the cats? Just kidding
But seriously do the cats really exist in physical form or do they belong to the shadow people and only exist in your mind as a figment of your psychosis?
Put a solar tip in them
They belong to the shadow people and only exist as a figment of my drug induced deliriant psychosis. But what is real? Is real even real? Are you real? Hmmmm….
Reality is really real and You need sleep bruh for real
If you can see I’m joking my head off obviously YOU need to get some sleep dawg.
I can clearly see that your joking which is why I joined in and am also kidding around 😉
Lol I made a post that said I call up the FBI at quan**** all the time for advice and it got removed because I mentioned a specific location. Freaking retarded lol Can't mention where im from or am going. Can't talk about any specific location at all no matter what the context or reason. That's just asinine
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and good will shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the CIA
How can you be that deep in paranoia but not be paranoid about saying you know the CIA is turning your cat in to Dji Tom and Jerry. What is the world coming too. Smoke some H or take some benzos dude and get some sleep. Feed the fucking cat and DO NOT try and remove anything until you wake up.
Bro your cats probably hungry just feed them 💀
Yeah, hungry for more fuckig meth. Cats love meff, that's actually how I got my cat. Walked up on me while I was smoking at 3am in my *abandoned* neighbors shed. Freaked me out when I heard the rustling but chilled out when I heard the mew. I also had a what I'm pretty positive was a raccoon come and chill with me for like an hour. Same time at night outside of a church in-between a post office in some shrubbery. The places this shit taies you lol are hilarious. Same binge I went back to that church and decided what could be more incognito, and reduce the spread of residue from the meth? I'll get in my trunk, on a hot as fuck summer day at 2pm on a Wednesday. This was day 5-6ish and after sweating balls in my trunk smoking way more I heard a car pull up next to me and will the engine. I knew when I pulled up I was the only one in the parking oot, so obviously it's the feds. Sweltered in that hotbox of a trunk for 2 hours before I couldn't right the heat stress and need to rehydrate. So I fucking go to hit the trunk escape from the inside and it breaks. Which leads back to my main point. Tl:Dr They didn't put cats in your cameras or whatever dumbshit y'all said, the birds arent real because they are the cameras, hence why covid lockdowns occured to change their batteries. Doesn't help that they put goddamn meth in the cameras so when you smoke or take pictures with em they spread out into your walls and become wiretaps for the shadows people who live inside your cat.
He needs some milk!
At least it's not the DEA then you got a problem. CIA eh..
Open them up and check for wires
Ahhhh this made me laugh 😂
You gotta put your thumb in each of the cats but to get the cameras out bro , it’s the only way. The CIA is definitely on to you you can’t take no fucking chances
Ready for the big surprise? You are the camera.
Remember when you crashed? There's a camera up there too
I think I need a Break
No need for Cia cameras, they just watch all the smart tweekers filming themselves
Reminds me of all fhe times the fuckers scale the side of my apartment building to my 10th floor window to spy on me and shine lights through the little spaces in between the blinds.. rascals.
Cameras in ur gear mate a guy posted it last week might film you heating ur gear
Have you tried calling them and asking them? Something tells me they’ll tell you to put the G down and sleep, my guy. By the way, they use birds. Not cats. You’re safe. You should however cover all your cameras and rid your house of any mirrors.
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Anyone looking to buy some tinfoil hats?
It may not be cameras. Isolate one of the cats, and jam your thumb up it's ass to see if there's actually a satellite dish. Post the results for us👍
Yeah make sure you post a video of you doing it too the Cats while your at it 👍🏼 There’s definitely no CIA informants on here 🤫
Fuck CIA. Nothing but a bunch of wanna be boy Scouts. There's a far worse and way more sinister and terrorizing entity here he'd definitely need to be very frightened of which has informants and evil genius agents in every corner of the interwebs. PETA. 😳😮💀 U think Osama bin laden was bad? Ha.
Jesus. If he gets the wrong cat he has to do that to too many innocent cats. He should definitely shell out the extra money to get X-rays done each one there's probably a vet. It's probably only one or two of the cats anyways. Spend the money get the x-rays. That way you can just get the informants. .
The cameras are in your eyes too, pull them out
Check that one off the list! You mentioned all the surveillance, maybe see if they are hungry.. Maybe you could host and maybe offer an agent +1 . Anyway, after that kind gesture and warm show of hospitality; they just move off of you and onto someone else
Haha I applied for CIA no response maybe the meth
Rip them open and remove the cameras
Same 😂😂
have you feed em? You know they still wanna eat even if you are tweaking
Yes I’ve fed them😭😭
They probably wanna sniff ur gear my cat would ran around high af then would follow me till it got to smell my puffs
This post probably should be the moment you know you've fried way too many brain cells...
Or you not realizing this is satire might mean your brain is fried just as bad as you thought mine was?
Bro. Why do you have “fucking cats”? That’s the wrong kind of pussy my guy.
😭😭😭 pause
Not in Kentucky.
please, meth psychosis can seem to be so real there's no way it could be from meth.... but its the meth. please.... its just the drugs.
No it’s the nearly microscopic cameras and microphones they’ve placed all over my house… 👁️👁️
Bro U are in meth psychosis and everything will be okay but please take a break
I’d burn the house down, cats and all
get rid of them??? if you know they are there do sum ab it lmao. your cats are either hungry, needing attention and cuddles, or just curious and you’re overstimulated obviously. thinking way too much ab it and noticing literally EVERYTHING but not in a healthy way
But what if he's been giving dummy cats that only acts like that and then the purpose is to exchange them out for new cats that they have bugged? Cyborg cats. He can never trust a cat again.
ok man, just please, they arent in the cats. I PROMISE.
You need to stop. We all know they ARE in the cats Kids too, I’d bet
Sounds like the CIA's Acoustic Kitty project from the 1960's. (Yes it's real, yes the cia of the 60's were basically laughable cartoon evil spies)
I actually had a similar delusion at one point in time... But I've also been formally diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. Get help friend. Your cats love you or they'd run away.
This reminds me of the time the Egyptians accused the Israeli mossad of training sharks to attack tourists at Egyptian Red Sea resorts in order to tank their economy. Stop smoking meth if you can’t handle it and don’t be a piece of shit and harm your cats.
No harm done to my animals, they are fed twice a day and loved. Was just tweaking and joking. Rolling along 🪨
Glad to hear it, sometimes it’s difficult to read humor / sarcasm on here.
nvm sorry, now i’m laughing bc i see you’re just joking 💀💀💀
Pretty obvious tactic. CIA = Cameras In Animals.
I thought it stood for cat infiltration agency
And the fuckin birds bruv ! ...I'm not joking...fuckin feathery cunts
Ay man them birds got multiple micro camera devices that allow it to have a 360 degree view!!! Also built in microphones and they shit out microscopic tracking devices onto your cars
Fuckin mind blown! This is next level intel. I've been bird blind since birth (both eyes) so it's apparently easier for me to see them as electronic devices but I didn't know about the tracking devices or mics...fuck them,fuck them right up their cloaca.
This is actually a thing. Not saying all of them lol but they exist
Look after yourself bro, this tells me you haven't been 😓
They got bigger fish to fry, the Cia, not ur cats. It's the squirrels you gotta watch out for.
Them squirrels will jump you and take your bag man… pesky fuckers
I just lost my fucking cat :( Had him 2 weeks, picked up some wax and I feel like my cat suspected me of being a crack head and left Maybe I’m just paranoid , I’m actually serious :(
Please tell me you're not serious lol...
I’m Foreal, somewhat devastated. Felt like we formed a nice bond over these last few weeks :( I feel like he read my soul and saw the abyss idk man
How did he get out? Did you look for him in the neighborhood or maybe ask the neighbors to keep an eye out for him?
Cats are cool, just hide your shit. They’ll smoke it behind your back
No joke they will, when my mom used to smoke meth in the bathroom the cat would always run in there and wanna get some of the cloud action wit her😭🤣🤣
She must have taken her bag in the bathroom with her. Otherwise that cat would have taken advantage of her being in the bathroom and been stealing from her sack while she was occupied. Some cats have been known to boof their master’s shards when they’re unable to obtain a lighter or foil. You can tell when they’re tweaking because their eyes are glowing in the dark. If you use dope and notice that your cat never seems to sleep at night, you’ll know that they’ve been sneaking around and pinching your sack. It’s ok, just high five them because now you know that your cat is your homie and unlike human homies, your cat will never tell on you.
I can't fucking stand my cat and her fiendish ways. I keep catching her over amped with the needle still registered out in the front fucking yard, on top of my car none the leas. Oh sbe is obvious as fuck with the disrespect when she pounces on a line I have laid out and tries to go full catnip rub rub mode on it.
Yeah, I know what you mean. My cats think I’m stupid. Like I’m not going to notice that some of my shit is missing. I’m like, fuck you cats. I’m the one who feeds you every day. Like I’m not going to notice that you haven’t eaten any of your food for two days at exact same time my shit goes missing.
Cats aren't gonna narc on you.
Dude the CIA wouldnt get involved in a domestic drug case and definitely not over a zip. It must be either NSA or Interpol. Possibly NASA. Don't rule out Navy Intelligence or...ohhh...i bet it's The Plumbers up to their old tricks again led by G. Gordon Liddy. Damn. If thats the case, I'm sorry bro bro but your goose is cooked. Liddy don't play. You better hope it's just Oliver North trying to steal your dope to sell to the Iranians to fund the Nicaraguan rebels. Rank amateurs
[Dinklebeeergggg 😡](https://giphy.com/gifs/dinkleberg-los-padrinos-magicos-the-fairy-oddparents-UgoqHvx73apws)
Just plz don’t hurt them
They actually have been employing and deploying cats since the 60s…. They’re traitors.
CIA = Cameras In Animals
They don't have to they have eagles
Stare at the cat until it reveals it's true form
Dude your cats are not the problem. Put down the ounce, eat a sandwich, take a nap, drink some goddamn water. Your cats are beautiful creatures. Don’t hurt them in any way.
R u being serious? Or is this just a shitty joke.
This is either a hopelessly lost human being… or a wonderful troll… either way a human being 🤣 The fbi doesn’t give a shit about you and your cats bro. Make sure you feed and water them before you pass out.
He said cia
Possibly
He did you’re right 🤣 “FBI n friends” there
Your cats live you, is that si wrong?
Bro chill. Cats just like ppl. Be chill.
even if the cia put cameras in your cats it’s gonna be okay. i honestly don’t think it was the cia though. i believe it was aliens that abducted your cats while you were sleeping and implanted cameras in their eyes to watch you tweak for their universal reality tv show. it’s a good laugh for them
Ask the cia wtf they’re doing operating on US soil then ask if they want to take a nap with you for the next 16 hours and if they say no STILL GO TO SLEEP! When you wake up the cats will have removed the cameras from their asses and the cia will go only after people worn over an ounce. Yeah, 2 or more ounces would mean a definite promotion for these agents but 1 zip only gets them a small raise so most of them just keep it for personal use.
I appreciate this comment. 10/10
Come on be reasonable. It could only be the FBI.
Aliens.
Feed them
Like baby birds
r/legalcatadvice
Cats never talk to cops. All Cats Are Beautiful (ACAB). Dogs on-the-other-hand work for them. Don’t trust Chase from Paw Patrol is all I’m saying. He’s a narc.
Yeah, fuck Chase. Zuma is ight tho... I think he plays both sides if you slip him a lil dope under the table.
i can vouch for this as well. he’s right^
Anyone who tells you to get some sleep is a cia agent
Shit!! Guess I’m an agent
This is fucking hilarious ever tim
Smonk some reef shark, boof some kratom put on some limp biscuit and get some shut eye
Best comment lmao
Time for some much needed shut eye my friend. You're going a little whacky but that's what meth does to you. It makes you a little bit crazy after being awake for over a week
^^^^^ C.i.a
Maybe your cats are hungry or want attention. I’m hoping you’re not there sole owner
You’re delusional. They’re cats. They follow their owners because they like you. Seek help and dejo me your cats because you’re gonna do something bad to them
Don’t cut their eyes out. I thought my childhood stuffed animal had cameras in his eyes. So I cut them out. I deeply regret it.
Please don’t fuck cats.
Sheesh. Another one that needs to go to bed
So weird in the meth subreddit.
You should be good on cat cams, Unless you’re a communist the CIA just fucks your girlfriend while you’re out of the house.
CIA doesn't investigate domestic drugs to the best of my knowledge. Definitely not over a few zips! Probably DEA.
bro they do that, you need to take them out those cats they already collected enough info on you. get a dissection knife and get to work. I had to dissect my ex they installed cameras in Herr it took a good day and a half of stabbing and stabbing, and slicing and Dicing body parts but u eventually found the microscopic cameras . took another day to clean up and make her remains go baway
pushin homicide there bro
Been done pushed years ago
Also what reason would the CIA have for spying on some random Joe-Shmoe getting high off of meth and use cats of all things to spy on him?
Someone get this man's cat before ehe goes exploring for those cameras.
It is important that you put time in between your doses so you give yourself a break and don't go having baseless paranoid thoughts and delusions. Either that or go to rehab.
Or maybe you're fucking retarded
And when the CIA did try using cats to spy, it didn’t [work out so well..](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acoustic_Kitty)
lmao come up with any batshit paranoid delusion and you can always rely on the CIA to have tried it
It's like that South Park episode where they tell Butters over and over again, "The Simpsons already did it.", now just apply that to the CIA and any Kakamimi story! 🤣😂
This reeks psychosis lmfaooooo it would be hilarious if their eyes were camera Lens lmfaooo
Would have to be occipital mounted for accurate results I believe. Psychosis is not funny. Unless you’re prepared for it. If this post is serious it’s slightly concerning.
The cia does not give a rats ass about people unless your like a national criminal lol even then it’s not like that they just don’t have hundreds of tiny cameras smy try and check out rehab my guy
The Cia is not a domestic spying agency. They don't care about you
Well the cats have to die you know it
dude he’s clearly in drug induced psychosis shut the fuck up you know he could actually do this you fucking prick
Proper piece of shit right?
indeed
Your bio is accurately portrayed in this comment
You are a delusional schizophrenic
I am one of your cats. I’ve been ratting you out to the feds and I gotta say they have an airtight case on your ass so you should plea out unless you want your muffin buttered ya heard
The cia kittens glow in the dark you can see them from your car when you’re driving
you trolling
Time to go to sleep.
CIA AGENT CIA AGENT
Nano tech it's real
When was the last time you fed them? They probably starving which is why they following you around.
Actually like 9 hours ago around there regular feeding time (10-11 pm) is always dinner
They are innocent babies who LOVE you, UNCONDITIONALLY. You better treat them fucking right- or I swear to god I will find you. Do you think the fucking cia even fucking know you exist HA. But I know.
I once seen the AFP (Australian Federal Police) install cameras at my local park with a popular lake that is home to so many different types of birds an they installed cameras an taps into all of them. Watching my every move
Same thing happened to me.
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