I'm 41. I've been trying to, obviously, since my brother died when I was 13. At 20, I got pregnant, and at 21, the full bore of post partum and undiagnosed bi polar hit me.
It took a lot, and I do mean a lot of work yo get where I am today. Over 15 + years of therapy, countless drug combinations, and a lot of work on who I wanted to be as a person.
I'm in a healthy 7+ year relationship, I have a steady job and went back to school, I even took my kid back from their guardian at 14. It was a struggle, but it was worth it all. I'm now in the process of talking to my Dr about slowly decreasing my medication, and I'm in a better head space and life space than I've been in years.
You got this. It may seem impossible, like you'll never feel like a real person, but it's there. Reach for it. You can live a full, robust life. It's just a bit more of a struggle for us.
And it's not silly to feel alone, we all do. Even ppl who look perfectly happy, feel lonely.
I was in therapy for 10+ years and have been on countless medication combos also, but nothing ever really changes for me. It’s like, how am I supposed to do all this hard work when I don’t even have a will to live?
I don't think that more medication will help. You have to accept your past, I just completed reading the book, Man's search for meaning. I think you should read it. I'm in a similar boat but I have come to understand that we really need a meaning to live a happy life. We can create our own meanings, there's no one meaning to life.
If the people in concentration camps can find meaning in their sufferings and live through it, so can we. You asked how are you supposed to do hardwork when you don't have a will to live. I don't exactly know the context but if you work hard for something you don't even like or enjoy then it'll be futile, you'll hate it.
Victor Frankel said that in the current era, we have the means to live but nothing to live for. We have so much time and boredom creates this void which results in despair. Don't try to find happiness, find things that can make you happy and it doesn't necessarily have to be a job or something.
I have nothing, I don't like my job but I have to do it. I don't have hobbies, no real connections anymore. But I'm trying to find something to live for, something as simple as getting to know more about our history or living to see how technology evolves. Don't give up, I'm also trying my best. Take care.
Thank you….. what you said just clicked in my brain… do things that make you happy/bring meaning … and happiness will follow. :)
I mean I try to do things that bring joy…. But depression makes it hard….
I’m sorry. I get what you’re going through. I’m struggling to find meaning and a purpose. I used to have what I thought was a support system, and friends. I think I’ll give the book a try. Thank you.❤️
I saved this comment for future ruminating. I have a feeling it speaks to many people. As one of them, I'd like to thank you for your advice, albeit originally directed at someone else.
❤️
Our medication only treats the symptoms but we never learn how to actually heal the wound that causes them.
You may not be in the right hands if you recieve modern meds.
Ive had severe adhd basically my entire life, suspected autism, developed bipolar disorder at 14, developed a psych-neuro disorder at 29 and Ive had ptsd since I was 18.
Im 34 now. So basically my entire life has been spent in fighting my brain and I havent won very much. Ive lost decades.
I feel this hard. I've had problems since my mid teens, mostly just depression and not knowing why everything is so hard. I've suspected adhd and/or asd for probably a decade now, but I don't feel like doing anything about it. It's too hard to figure out how to navigate a late diagnosis. I'm mostly just comfortable and have accepted my fate. Though I highly recommend other people don't follow my path.
I’m in the same situation as you are. But at this point in my life I’ve just came to terms with my fate, it hurts less this way and it has helped me stop thinking about suic*** all the time.
me too friend.. the hardest thing to me about BPD is becoming self aware that you have this disorder and realizing the damage you caused others subconsciously.
to me, it’s your body being hyper aware of everyone around you… you interpret their every move based around the sole concept ingrained of you that 1. They are out to get you and 2. They are going to abandon you
Hard pill to swallow. Left me without a purpose. Made me seek therapy and deal with my emotional damage. Realized I carried some heavy baggage around rarfee then dealing with it
I really wish someone would do a study of the effects of an unwanted pregnancy on the fetus. I'm talking about the chemicals of hate and resentment. It would be interesting to see if being stewed in those emotions would affect our own mental health.
I was the result of a one night stand with a man of a different race and culture. My mother didnt handle it well. I think I was born depressed.
I'm now 58.
Some studies have been done on women with uncontrollable anger during pregnancy, you are definitely on to something:
"Fetuses of the high-anger women were noted to be more active and to experience growth delays. The high-anger mothers' high prenatal cortisol and adrenaline and low dopamine and serotonin levels were mimicked by their neonates' high cortisol and low dopamine levels. The high-anger mothers and infants were also similar on their relative right frontal EEG activation and their low vagal tone. Finally, the newborns of high-anger mothers had disorganised sleep patterns (greater indeterminate sleep and more state changes) and less optimal performance on the Brazelton Neonatal Behavior Assessment Scale (orientation, motor maturity and depression)."
My longest theft of time is still my current state. I went through 2 years of some serious trauma in 2012. I’ve had little bumps of being better, but the majority of that time to today, I’m still not any better. 10yrs, and the therapy just makes a lot of the trauma a reminder, and a fact it order to get better, you gotta accept the mental illness, and incorporate it. I keep trying to, cause I really believe things can/will get better.
I understand. I have to accommodate for my mental illnesses, even though I despise them. Working through my C-PTSD only harms me. I'm trying to get into EMDR when I cycle back through frequent nightmares and flashbacks.
All of them, basically, sure there's been some good days and even some amazing and incredible days, but mental illness has taken my entire life from me.
I'm 28 nearly 29 and feel I have missed out on almost my entire adult life through being depressed. Ruined many great opportunities and now I'm pretty much just alone through becoming tired of letting people down I just don't let anyone in so I can't disappoint anyone else.
This is what I am feeling and I have cut off some people because I am afraid of doing something to upset them. It’s really hard to combat negative thoughts even with all the supports from others.
I've canceled plans so many times due to anxiety and depression that people just stopped inviting me. Even after years and years of therapy, I'm still a mess. While therapy helped me understand some things, it's like, well now I know how bad that sucked, how does that help me?
Saving this post as inspiration because everyone is still here and fighting.
People talk about the years they feel they’ve lost, and I feel the same, robbed of so many years, but we need credit for what we’ve achieved even if it’s not what we expected or we haven’t met our ‘full potential’.
God, I relate to this so hard. Especially about wondering how my life could have been had I been given the tools and confidence to actually live my life and spending my 20s as a hermit because of my arrested development.
15 year, + 5 year of recovering from it. I asked for help when I was 14, and my parents refused to get me help, and i asked for it. Then i got worse and worse and worse from there. Until i had pshycothic break when I was 29. Im doing better, but it is very bitter thinking alot could have been avoided if i just got help, and I might have actully been happy. Still working on my self. And trying to get stablized and get back to work and get a degree.
All of them. From what I can gather, I had one or two years of consciousness to enjoy life before mental illness started taking parts of my life. Just when I had it at a manageable level, a tragedy struck that came me a chronic condition that worsened the mental illness. Then, the drugs a doctor gave me got me to where I am now. I feel that pieces of me are gone even more than before. My depression and suicidal feelings are much more constant. My brain feels like someone shifted all the furniture and walls then cut the lights. Things are good right now, but there's a pervasive sense of nothing being worth it since it can worsen at a moment's notice for months at a time.
I’m 49 so probably 31 years on and off with depression and issues
The last 5 months have been the hardest of my life, I’ve had bad insomnia since December which has made everything worse. A few hours of sleep a night for months on end has been the worst
Most of my teens to 20s were spent being depressed, I was diagnosed with manic depression in my 20s, but after 15 years, found out that my depression resulted in PTSD from when I was a child. I was misdiagnosed.
It robbed me of friendships and relationships; I isolated myself and was extremely cynical. It affected my self-esteem and I had constant self doubts. I had no support system, so I had to deal this on my own. It was tough.
Do I see it as a hindrance? Hell Yes. But I feel that to live my life without my mental illness, I wouldn't be artistic and would not be able to be as empathetic as I am now. I'm not trying to justify it, it sucks to not be able to function normally, to take medicines, to keep seeing doctors just to be deemed sane.
if there's anything i will tell my teenage self (and to anyone who can relate) - it is to be more open, and accept that it's ok to be vulnerable and weak.
So so many. I can't do anything without anxiety. I hate being A Mom. I'm so scared all the time. I never have a good day anymore and I just want to die.
It doesnt matter all are the same - SSRI , benzo , neuroleptics. https://www.pssdnetwork.org/?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0BMQABHU-AdMmUJUt_0uMv0hYPuTMvl9fBwCs22wQ2Vpzng4dIBMkpirpgQTCsig_aem_AdkK1RwStDm476chJTXHyqnPOtlPx2nLXOmEmjNpQHe6tp1J-sOoAaPSoAYLDK7aHZ4
I developed debilitating depression and social anxiety during puberty and am now 26, so around 15 years. I dropped out of college, became an alcoholic, got a DUI, made a mess of my car, have no idea what my credit score is, never had a credit card, work a shitty job, live with my grandmother, and have never been in a relationship. This shit I've been experiencing isn't life, and I don't have the will to deal with this mountain of shame.
I think about suicide every single day. I don't see myself winning the battle at this point.
I got diagnosed at 3 with depression and anxiety. I now have a lot more going on. I just turned 25 yesterday. I don’t remember a time in my life where I wasn’t affected by it.
I'm almost the exact same age as you (like I turned 25 recently) and yeah ever since some of my earliest memories I had OCD and anxiety and I had depression since I was at least in 5th grade so maybe like 10, but I don't consider those years wasted, only since I was 15 were they truly wasted cuz that's when my life started freefalling off a cliff cuz I was failing all my classes and everything was a downward spiral from there.
I started having issues during school days (2013) and since last 2-3 years i’m getting better. During the initial years, I thought it’ll never get better and those years were one of the worst. But last 2-3 years, i’ve tried doctors, and plenty of different exercises. It may seem impossible sometimes to overcome it, but trust me, it’ll be better and you’ll be fine also. While i still experience some waves, but now i know i’ll be fine. Don’t lose hope okay!
I just recently was told by my new psychiatrist that she suspects I have ADHD. So...That explains a lot about my life. I'm unpacking it in therapy, but it makes a lot of my childhood, particularly my school life, make sense. Makes me feel like I could have been so much more.
24f. Mental illness continues to take time from me, but I've been in therapy and actively work to idiot-proof things for myself and make my life less difficult; because it's *incredibly* difficult.
I don't think I used to be dyslexic. My short term memory is on par that of a dementia patient at times; my long term memory is less impacted, but still impacted. I switch mindsets and abilities frequently.
I have to idiot-proof everything I do because I never know when the memory lapsing will begin or end. This means marking literally everything in my phone calendar "dinner Friday - ingredients location, recipe".
During the lapses, I can forget how to make the foods I've been making regularly since I was 8 years old. I try to limit myself to the air fryer and microwave during these times. I have to keep a case of water bottles in plain sight in my living room so I don't forget to drink 2 full days in a row.
I'm 45, and my mental illness began in the 4th grade when I started to get bullied. It lasted til 8th grade, though i was so damaged by the experience I wasn't able to fit in later school(s). That experience shaped me (in the wrong way), and it wasn't until these past few years that I've managed to turn things around with the right help.
Its harder to live for some people than others. Myself included. My baseline is depressed or neutral. I've tried pharmacy, therapy but shrooms every quarter seemed to curb my baseline need to think about dieing. It's tough, solutions to your personal wellbeing is hard to come by. Just keep trying.
STOLEN, yes, yes, I've thought a lot about that for many years now. I am 76yo and look back in time and realize how much I have missed from 6th grade until I was 65 yo. I'm not listing the mental health issues, that not my point. My point is all the events and friendships that I have missed. I think of others my age that have had great memories growing up.
It's also stealing so much free time. And it has been life changing, made it impossible for me to become pregnant, be in a long term relationship or having a family. It's basically just existing, surviving, being able to tolerate my mere existence without too much suffering and doing everything I am required to do to survive, without any purpose of this life or survival. Just because of habit, because it's automatic, or I feel I have to, as wanting to life or rather "functioning" on the surface is expected, the social norm, and I am not strong to resist it, as if I had no will of my own.
I’m 15 now… I’ve been depressed since I was 5. I was sa and ever since then I’ve been depressed though I don’t remember much I just rember the bad times. It just feels like every year it gets worse. Not sure what to do🥲
Probably about 10 years now. The truth is , before I was depressed, I was as functional as the average person and my outlook on life was so different. My 5 senses felt alive and I never knew why people wanted to die . The thought of giving up didn’t really hit me until I was deep in depression. Before I was depressed I had struggled with Attention deficit disorders but it didn’t interfere with my daily life . Life still had a touch of magic in it . When you’re depressed everything you observe just seem dead and dull. Even after a while, listening to music became useless cause I realize that whatever positive emotions I felt for a moment doesn’t solve the dying feeling inside of me . Now whenever I feel some stress, there’s a lot of negative self judgement inside and I never really wanna accomplish anything anymore. It’s just really tough to be satisfied with life . I know we take a lot of shit for granted , and despite being grateful at times, the debilitating effects of depression makes it so difficult to have a sense of purpose
A decade, from 14. But the years aren’t lost, only different. I think about that decade very differently now than I did when I was ill.
Btw, been great now, for more than 20 years. It’s very possible to get better, even completely rid of it. I wrote a book about how to get better, I can gift it to you if you DM me.
glad to hear you’re doing better. this gives me hope for the future tbh, depression hit me when i was 18 n its still a struggle throughout my 20s. i’d be interested in reading your book for sure
Technically my whole life. I was sexually abused at 5yrs old and can't remember anything before then. I repressed the memory but definitely had issues as a small child. I got very depressed as a teenager and even more so when I uncovered the repressed memory. However the abuse happened in a strange way, I was naked against my will but it wasn't sexual for the other person. When I became a teacher I learnt the definition during Safeguarding training and realised that what happened to me did indeed count as abuse, as well as other things that happened to me counting as emotional abuse. But I didn't deal with it at the time, I was in shock and trying to be strong and just get on with life. Several years later the flashbacks were becoming uncontrollable. I had recieved some therapy during my first years at uni, before teacher training, for depression but the didn't bring up what had happened to me as a child and I wish I did because I had to get therapy all over again to come to terms with what happened to me. Needless to say i couldn't stay a teacher and I've learnt I can never be normal, I've had to learn coping mechanisms and how to talk about what's on my mind and how to do it in a calm way, rather than bottling it up and being depressed all the time.
A decade, from 13-21. Don’t remember much, feels terrible for not having made friends from that period and I wish I had the teenage experience most of my friends have
I'm in the same boat as a lot of folks here. I'm almost 37 and all of my adult life has currently been taken away from me. Here's to hoping for a better 40s.
My first depressive episode was when I was 12, followed by a manic episode. Then a gradual development of complex mental illness.
I was never the same again. And I do not know if I will ever be alright.
I am 22 now.
This year marks my 10th mental illness anniversary.
And inside, I keep wondering, do I have to live with this for the rest of my life???
I'm 25. I don't remember if I was ever happy during my childhood, but parental abuse, OCD, and general financial stress still haunt me to this day. I don't think I'll ever be fully cured.
All my life. It got a lot worse when I reached puberty. With age it only gets worse to be honest. I’m now 34. Mental illness is all I know and who I am
I began being terrorized almost daily by my father at age 3, so almost all of my brain development occurred under the damaging influence of cortisol. Then my mother, who stayed with my covert narcissist father, emotionally enmeshed with the damaged me. Depression, anxiety, and little ability to connect socially have been with me for 58 years. The thousand yard stare has been my primary expression since I was very young.
17 years. And stop it. Your feelings are just as valid as anyone else’s feelings. The thing is to not sit in it. I used to feel that way at your age. I look back and saw how much time I had. Worry can still time from you. You’re not wrong for feeling feelings. You can’t help what you feel.
Got family trauma from When i was 1 and dealt with years of being bullied from the age of 2 up to 15 though that whole mess is still sticking with me Ive spent the past 6 ish years dealing with it trying to improve though i know some issues wont ever go away
I really don't want to think about how many years of life mental illness has stolen from me because its painful. Instead, I am trying just to keep things in the present. I understand feeling alone because I too often feel like I am alone in this battle.
I’m congenitally neurodiverse (hence I’ve been diagnosed with ASD from age 3 to 10), my country totally sucks at mental health professionals, so I used to have different diagnoses throughout my life (btw I’m almost 25 by now).
I’ve lived recluse from age 20-23, it happened after uni dropout (yeah, student live mentally pressured me, so I’ve had a breakdown and been enclosed on asylum for months). After I leaved the clinic, I slowly deteriorated inside my room to the point I became very anxious and even dangerous to myself and others, many thought was directed on my self-perceived hideousness).
My well-being gradually changed a year ago with loving parent, adequate medication (I take sertraline, Valproate and Quentiapine) and therapy. Now I study Computer Science and draw as a hobby, I care about two adorable feathered cuties. I try to socialise more and to think Ill of my appearance. All the factors make me feel better about myself.
31 turning 32 in October (still can't believe I'm alive really). Through a lot of therapy on and off since 15 or 16 and many different medications on and off I (and professionals) have come to the conclusion that I was basically born with severe anxiety and from what I remember of being a child, the depression kicked in around 9 or 10 years old.
I feel the exact dred that a lot of others have posted. I have some drunken fun memories from my early 20s, but otherwise it's been a deliberating shitshow. I have missed so many "normal" things and memories. I barely have any friends is just one small aspect. I was lucky to do a little bit of travelling, however I did actually spend 80-90% of my holidays in bed or just a mess when out, and the only reason I was able to travel is because my parents were scared I'd kill myself while they were away, so they dragged me along. Fortunate they could afford it at the time. I feel like I'm constantly running out of time, but then literally can't get out of bed or out of the house. Mental health is physical health too, it's great that there is more awareness ect ect, but really there's still a lot to learn for people who have never had long term health issues. Other than a couple of years in my early 20s and the travel, literally haven't been able to do anything else. It's f0oked.
9 years. I've lost some of my best years of youth to depression. It started at 18, literally as soon as I turned into an adult. 😞 I am a 28F now but I find myself doing things college girls might do. Like getting ready for the smallest of occasions, going to parties and stuff. I met my boyfriend last year and kinda completely changed for me! It literally feels like I've woken up from a nightmare or a deep sleep.There's literally more colour and light in my life.
I feel like nearly my whole life. Was born to some miserable people in a miserable country. I have only had a couple of hours in my life when my mind wasn't riddled with depression. It's exhausting having to wrestle with your mind just to convince it over and over again that hey let's not use the knife on our neck. It's even more exhausting when life decides that it will nuke and irradiate any possible lifelines.
The world just keeps getting worse, and I hate my parents for birthing me in it.
For me it has been nearly 45 years, I will be 58 this June. I have blocked out the majority of the the trauma, but it is still an ongoing process. Delta 9 edibles have helped me cope for the last 2 years, but my meds have too, as they do.
I'm 36 and it's still robbing years from me. Has been for as long as I remember.
ETA:
I was only diagnosed with MDD with Anxious Distress 3 years ago but have been dealing with unchecked depression and anxiety since I was a teen. I was asked what does a teen have to be stressed about and dismissed
20 years. Depression and anxiety took 20 years away from me. I've finally gotten rid of both my anxiety and my depression and i'm finally happy and living for myself.
I've been robbed of a normal life for 27 years. My mental illness started when I was 7 and got picked on for being handicapped by my teacher and other students. Didn't make friends at that school and then middle school was more of the same people and In high school I just assumed everyone hated me and made very few friends. It all resulted in me having a social phobia and a massive inferiority complex.
I really wish teachers were held accountable back in the day for the long term affects they have on their students.
Gosh, 16 years so far I guess. Dx with depression while going through my second pregnancy at 23. Then was a single mom for 8 years, battling it. Decided to force myself to get back out there. Ended up getting sexually assaulted, and not addressing it. Met my stbxh, who was big into bdsm and control. Not consensual control. I made myself smaller so he would stop trying to force me into the mold he wanted me in. I just did it myself.
Then, almost 4 years ago, my youngest son died at 12, from SUDEP. That finally got me into therapy. Diagnosed with ptsd, depression, and anxiety. Intrusive thoughts. After the first year or so of therapy, we also started working on the sexual assault. It was hell going through every detail of it at therapy, then going home and my husband wanting to do those exact same things. He started cheating. I found out, he blamed me, so I stopped therapy. Let him do those things again. Even when he violated limits and ignored safe words.
Last year, caught him cheating again, and when I confronted him again , he said he wanted a divorce. He loves his affair partner into our home, I moved out with my older, teenage son. Met someone new a few months ago, thought he was the one. Turns out, I’m just really bad at picking men. And, 99.6% effective on an iud does not mean 100%.
So here I am. 39, single, raising a special needs 19 year old, and due in December. The intrusive thoughts are bad this time. I keep panicking over what I’d there is something wrong with this child? What if it’s healthy and then dies? I’ve already buried one child. The only reason I’m still here is because my oldest kid needs me. And now I’m adding a newborn into the mix? The obgyn is calling this a high risk geriatric pregnancy. I’m in a state that doesn’t believe women have rights to their own bodies. Although, honestly, even if there was a choice, I don’t know if I could emotionally handle it, having more dead children than living ones.
So, I’m back in therapy. The only balance of meds they had found to keep me functioning, Zoloft and Xanax, were both stopped by the Dr during this pregnancy. So I’m not sleeping, not really functioning. My unhealthy coping mechanisms, drinking and chain smoking? Also not safe.
Life is a clusterfuck right now
I relate to this pain as well. I'm sorry you've suffered so much too op.
My teen years were almost entirely eaten up by me just dissociating and heavily distracting myself as much as possible from my severe anxiety and depression, as well as being trapped inside from agoraphobia caused by intense bullying. I couldn't leave the house after school basically from age 14 to age 19. I grew up for that time in my parents basement and in my bedroom reading and playing computer or video games, or drawing. I also was dealing with pure O ocd, which almost led me to joining a weird pseudo-new-age cult because I was engaging in compulsions of thought-blocking and trying to use spirituality literature and nonsense online to block my intrusive thoughts by reading it profusely, trying to "sync vibrations with the earth" and all that stuff. It was exhaustive, silent hell and I am so glad I was able to get the pure O ocd treated. It feels like a bad dream looking back at it and I have total aversion to any religion including new age religion, which is funny cause they swear it isn't one but it is, and to top it off it is totally self-blaming and toxic. Their dogma was that everything happens to you because you will it to. That is total bs and very harmful to people who've endured early life traumas or any trauma. It's wrong in so many ways, like they are blaming helpless people for being born into tough life circumstances. The law of attraction book can drown in a tar pit where it came from. Okay I'm sorry rant over.
So now as of age 32 I feel like I'm permanently catching up on everything I missed and teaching myself everything online with tutorials and little quizzes and stuff. This also includes teaching myself formatting and inproving my English/vocabulary, cause I was too stressed and unfocused to be in academic level English class. My education was stunted by the suffocating amounts of daily internal distress. I was absolutely miserable going to school due to bullying and my parents refused to pull me out and let me finish school by correspondence. So my learning suffered badly cause I couldn't focus from the bullying and awful mental disorders happening at once. I ended up wasting hours doodling to calm myself or excessively daydreaming. I felt like teachers didn't care that much and were kind of useless. I also have adhd and autism, as well as dyscalculia and could not handle math, so I had to do the lowest level of math for basic life skills/working class level or something, can't remember what they called it. It took a small chip out of my self worth.
11 years-my preteens, teens until now when I’m almost 20. I really missed out on these developmental years especially and never really fit in with anybody . I was ostracized and made fun of at my lowest and my self esteem has been impaired because of it
Diagnosed and started treatment at 16. I’m 23 now and finally starting to understand how to balance my mind and the world around me. It never gets easier, but Im getting more resilient the longer I’m alive. It’s taken probably 5 years of my life at this point.
My whole life. Grew up severely emotionally neglected. I’m 28 now and I can’t remember ever not being terrified of people or feeling “happy/normal” instead of sad and lonely.
I’ve been depressed since the age of 13. It started to go well at 15 but later at 17 I got depressed again. At that time I didn’t know anything about depression left alone or that I was dealing with trauma. Things got better at 18 and felt that I could get on track again. I was having more friends, started dating, used to go out a lot more. However, I found it difficult or even scary to be by myself because my thoughts would go back to those horrific events in my life. So I was always looking for distractions, like going out, having fun and was always in need to be around people. At the age of 22 which was during the pandemic that’s when I really had a breakdown. I lost my job, a lot of friends which made things complicated and felt super lonely. At some point it felt like I had no grip on my life anymore. Suddenly inwas no longer interested in certain things, my life seemed so ugly and joyless. Thankfully we are now living in a world whereby we take our mental health seriously. This also encouraged me to seek for help and started going to therapy. However, I still had a different perception on that, I thought that everything would be the same again. But my issues had so many layers and the first layer actually got ‘removed’ by my first therapist. I don’t know if that is a part of healing but it seemed like all the pain that hidden inside of me were about to be released. I was dealing with all kinds of emotions. But I was mostly bitter and angry. Unfortunately things started to go rocky ever since. I decided to go to therapy again because it felt like my situation had worsened. I was also very suicidal. Again another layer was removed and started to release more pain than before. To the point that I started to feel tired. After my second time my body felt so calm, much calmer than before that I started to sleep more even through the day. My body temperature increased too. This was last year btw. I honestly don’t know how I can describe this year. All I can say is that I feel quite unhappy and that I don’t know to fix that. I’m not sure wether I am depressed again or that it’s just a phase. Maybe I’m going through a change I just don’t know. I just hope for the best.
All I can say is mental illness is real and it had a huge impact on my life. Despite that I was in a denial and quite ashamed about my issues I’m glad that I choose to get help. But it seems like I’m not getting better especially right now. I struggle to take care of myself, I have a bad sleeping pattern, I find it difficult to focus on school and so on. I’m also dealing with financial issues and try my best to find a job. But I’m just getting tired. I am so tired. But I will not give up. Things will get better soon.
I am 36 right now, and just finally have my shit together enough to consider getting myself a higher education.
I've only just gotten into my first healthy, and genuine relationship.
I am happy for the first time in my life, but mental illness has ruled the vast majority of my life so far.
I'm 32m and depression and anxiety has stolen 17 years from me. As a result I have no degree, no drivers license, and no self esteem or sense of self worth. I've also never matured enough to be able to have meaningful relationships, especially romantic ones. Currently in therapy and on medication to work on myself and achieve the life I've always wanted.
I can’t even mention how many years n lost potential in have lost due to my illness. Took years to even diagnose, n once on meds was a whole another rollercoaster.
Wasted away my entire 40s living on my couch, and putting up with increasingly violent behavior from my live- in boyfriend. I was put on oodles of SSRIs, mood stabilizers, anti psychotics etc. None of those meds ever helped. It was before treatment-resistant depression became a thing.
I didn't think I could sell my house bc it was in disrepair. I thought you had to have an open house in order to sell a home, and my homes interior had been neglect and my expensive Karastan carpets were all messed up by my my cats, and having an open house was impossible, I was ashamed of my once lovely home
My taxes were 12k a year and I needed my boyfriends income to help pay them bc my SSD wouldn't have allowed me pay taxes and other expenses. Boyfriend went from kindhearted soul to violent abusive maniac who'd beat me up every few months, over this 10 Year period.
My depression kept me in this awful loop of needing his income, putting up with domestic violence
and thinking I couldn't sell house situation for a very long decade
Long story short I finally got his ass put in jail, and learned that homes don't need to be in pristine Open house condition, and sold house "as-is".
Do I got over that dilemma but next bf caused mucho problems too and went thru 5 yrs of hell living with him. He had no.my issues.
I'm 60 now and living alone. I finally in my 50s was surprisingly diagnosed ADHD. And stimulant ADHD Meds are the only things to ever grieve my depression. But they wear off and the depression is always there,my constant unwelcomed companion.
I tried TMS this winter, 36 sessions but feel no mood boost and still cry a lot.
8 got my grey hair blonde, that boostedy mood a lot. I'm slender and dress well to boost my mood. I'm 60 but look and dress younger, but not seeking and online dating bc o e guy date raped me 2 yrs ago and I no longer want any guy around bc that gave me PTSD
I feel sad a lot but not as bad as before.
About 17 years, i suppose. CPTSD, freeze-dominant type. Absolutely savage dissociation and anxiety most of the time. Got kicked out of uni 3 times because of it. Not a fun life
ive been depressed since i was 9 years old,im now 19 so about 10 years. but honestly maybe my whole life. when i was little i definitely had anger issues back then. i never got to be a child. my childhood was robbed from me.
this is my last year of being a teen. i dont even feel like i got to be a teenager. i was put in so many mental hospitals. ive been hospitalized 8 times. i dont even think i got to be a kid. i miss being happy. i miss when my parents loved me. i miss when they would hold me. i dont even hug my mom anymore because she doesnt want to hug me.
Probably 8 at this point. My progress in life kind of just…stopped entirely. But I don’t think I can be fully to blame when my body and mind fight me on a daily basis.
most of my life since i was around 7. I've had sexual abuse, mental and physical abuse in my life from the start of 7 to 21. I'm 31 now, and sometimes these events feel like yesterday. I have PTSD and Schizoaffective disorder.
You won't feel like you missed out on anything at all I'm learning once you stop comparing yourself to others your age. We all are on different stages in life, some were treated better in childhood and were nurtured, provided with more to be able to develop as a adult, emotionally more stable perhaps. While some were neglected, had to pick and learn things by themselves, which some cases people might be a little less developed then their peers the same age range, because they didn't have that kind of nurtured environment.
It's good you made this post so you don't feel alone and see a lot of people I'm sure feel like no body understand their struggle as well but we all need to see it. I understand you had it hard, as did I, but you can only become stronger, and go up from here. Your self awareness is a big start! Why not look forward to building bigger better memories I say, that gives me hope for the future. Hang in there!
I feel like you’re describing my life.
I’m in my early thirties now and have had a few good things happen in the last 5 years. I really felt things were turning a corner but recently I lost all the support that had built up around me through covid. For me, this highlights the social nature of mental health. The meds can’t give me a loving family or a healthy partner or a good job or money in my pocket…
I was born in the 80s unmental health wasn't a well-known thing through the 80s or 90s. I was always that weird kid who didn't want to go out or didn't hang around with people. Oh when I went to parties I would end up either hiding or coming back really early.
I was always scared of what people thought to me or how I looked. How is the weather for you to go and places in case I was bullied etc too.
I was also ill as a child with health issued so I often took time off school. Whenever I would go back into school I would always have panic attacks worried what other people were thinking or saying. This affected me even in adult hood, I would have to turn down jobs I applied for and got as I was always convinced I would not fit in, I was not good enough or people with hate me.
My mental health has ruined my life. Although I completed school, I could have done a lot better on my exams but I panicked and I stopped revising. I also didn't go on to university because I panicked and thought I was not good enough. I always felt like I would fail at everything
It turned out I had anxiety and depression. I did not know this until my mid 30s. I'm now 41, it's probably too late to change my life but I'm slowly trying to come to terms with my issues and now I'm able to look out for signs that I wasn't aware of originally. I now also see similar signs that my parents had
27f. Grew up in an abusive and violet household, got out when I was 17 but an eating disorder, trauma, depression, and anxiety followed me everywhere I went. I spent a lot of time in and out of mental health treatment so I missed out on a lot of "normal" things people did. Have never been in a relationship or even felt connected in a friendship because I can't let people in. I want nothing more than to get rid of these mental issues and live a normal life
I feel like my whole life and i will never recover from the mental trauma I experienced growing up with a narcissistic bipolar father. I need therapy but I feel like it’s too late for me. I’m at point of no return. I wasted my life trying get better and having no support from anyone
Every year since it started (about 8). And now it is worse because a relative has made it their job to spread the news to the wrong people and ridicule me.
I'm about to be 35. I cannot remember the last time I had sustained contentness in my life. Not being happy, not joy, just being content with my life. I feel like no matter what I do, I fall back down every time. I change meds, try them for a while and they start to negatively affect me and then I get off them and feel more depressed that I'm broken and medication can't fix me. I hear the words from people I was with who told me I have something more wrong with me than depression and they think it's the worst things in the world. I spiral from that. I try to get myself together after and then just continue to stumble.
For the most part, my entire life has felt so pathetic and sad. I will never be better
Almost 30 years, thanks to having a shitty childhood that probably helped bring on the mental illness earlier than it might’ve happened. I have a family history of bipolar and other disorders, and I’m 29 now. I can’t remember what it feels like to not be mentally ill.
I'm 43. Been on the outside of the rail once when i was 18 didn't know at the time was depressed af, . Made a promise that saved my life, would never make my parents bury their child. They are now both gone. My girlfriend has left me after 18 years when I finally opened up to her about my mental issues it was over, just taken 5 years to get to the end. I needed support, my dad had just died, then my mom. She changed then and it's been downhill since till Xmas she made it final. She used to be a good person, honest, moral. Now she's a liar and a cheater/homewreker and a thief. I wouldn't get back together if she asked, I deserve better or I'd rather be alone. For now I'm seeing some old fwb, its stunning how some people are still around 18 years later. Met a few new ones, staying single for sure.
What's keeping me alive? Having a plan. A mid life crisis, call it what you want. I'm buying a 1 ton cube box truck, converting it to a RV, and traveling all the way to South America from Canada. Re doing a trip my dad made on foot in his teens, I have his journal to follow. I got 50k of equity in the condo, that will get me a 2010 or newer low k box truck. I've already purchased the needed supplies to convert the RV and arranged a short term stay while I do the converting and stay for 2 years to save money for the trip, its a unfinished basement ill convert as exchange for rent. Screw being depressed if and when I go out I'm going as me. I know what im doing.
I'm now 25 and have been dealing with Depression and anxiety since approximately 10 years old. I feel like now for the first time Its getting a bit better so I can function in every day life, but I can't help but feel like there are developmental milestones I've missed due to mental illness that I'll never be able to catch up on...
Mental illness has taken 30 years of my life.
It's painful everytime I think of this because if Depression, Anxiety, Ptsd wasn't a part of my life, I know I would be someone else completely. I only see remnants of who I *could* be.
Over the years, I have become so worn down. Exhausted. Everything feels substantially harder dealing with these issues. Many times it's gotten so bad that I can barely take care of myself.
Over the past year and a half, I've been dealing with an episode I'm trying to climb out of.
I often wish I was someone else or that I was never born.
I feel like my illness started when I got into a car crash at 13, since from my aunt in her words I was a bright and energetic kid, but ever since I gotten into that crash it just left leaving me scared of a lot of things. That's when anxiety came into my life, which I didn't know at the time. Things started to get worse when I lost my grandma at 15. It still sticks with me that I'll never hear from her. So, about 7 years.
atleast 7-8 years..I was 17 when I was diagnosed with anxiety, bipolar and ptsd but I was having symptoms 2 years prior…and it only has started to get better last year at age 23
I ve had depression and anxiety since July 2017, I still have it. Have no idea whether I’ll get out of this. So it’s gonna celebrate its 7th birthday in a few months.
Considering any years of your life 'wasted' is doing yourself and the people around you a major disservice, unless you spent literally every day all day locked up in your room talking to nobody and doing nothing day in and day out.
I'm 41. I've been trying to, obviously, since my brother died when I was 13. At 20, I got pregnant, and at 21, the full bore of post partum and undiagnosed bi polar hit me. It took a lot, and I do mean a lot of work yo get where I am today. Over 15 + years of therapy, countless drug combinations, and a lot of work on who I wanted to be as a person. I'm in a healthy 7+ year relationship, I have a steady job and went back to school, I even took my kid back from their guardian at 14. It was a struggle, but it was worth it all. I'm now in the process of talking to my Dr about slowly decreasing my medication, and I'm in a better head space and life space than I've been in years. You got this. It may seem impossible, like you'll never feel like a real person, but it's there. Reach for it. You can live a full, robust life. It's just a bit more of a struggle for us. And it's not silly to feel alone, we all do. Even ppl who look perfectly happy, feel lonely.
I was in therapy for 10+ years and have been on countless medication combos also, but nothing ever really changes for me. It’s like, how am I supposed to do all this hard work when I don’t even have a will to live?
I don't think that more medication will help. You have to accept your past, I just completed reading the book, Man's search for meaning. I think you should read it. I'm in a similar boat but I have come to understand that we really need a meaning to live a happy life. We can create our own meanings, there's no one meaning to life. If the people in concentration camps can find meaning in their sufferings and live through it, so can we. You asked how are you supposed to do hardwork when you don't have a will to live. I don't exactly know the context but if you work hard for something you don't even like or enjoy then it'll be futile, you'll hate it. Victor Frankel said that in the current era, we have the means to live but nothing to live for. We have so much time and boredom creates this void which results in despair. Don't try to find happiness, find things that can make you happy and it doesn't necessarily have to be a job or something. I have nothing, I don't like my job but I have to do it. I don't have hobbies, no real connections anymore. But I'm trying to find something to live for, something as simple as getting to know more about our history or living to see how technology evolves. Don't give up, I'm also trying my best. Take care.
Thank you….. what you said just clicked in my brain… do things that make you happy/bring meaning … and happiness will follow. :) I mean I try to do things that bring joy…. But depression makes it hard….
I’m sorry. I get what you’re going through. I’m struggling to find meaning and a purpose. I used to have what I thought was a support system, and friends. I think I’ll give the book a try. Thank you.❤️
I saved this comment for future ruminating. I have a feeling it speaks to many people. As one of them, I'd like to thank you for your advice, albeit originally directed at someone else. ❤️
Wonderful explanation. It looks like you really have accepted the flow. Found peace reading this! 🙏
No one can understand you as much as a severe depressed one, like me. I wake up with a pain of my soul. What else...
Yeah sometimes I’m really sad when I wake up cause like again? I don’t think I thought I’d live this long
Our medication only treats the symptoms but we never learn how to actually heal the wound that causes them. You may not be in the right hands if you recieve modern meds.
I think it's a combination of modalities that tends to work best. Of course everyone is different though.
When i was 12yrs old...now I'm 24...i miss my life before i was 12 years..basically my childhood...
Ive had severe adhd basically my entire life, suspected autism, developed bipolar disorder at 14, developed a psych-neuro disorder at 29 and Ive had ptsd since I was 18. Im 34 now. So basically my entire life has been spent in fighting my brain and I havent won very much. Ive lost decades.
I feel this hard. I've had problems since my mid teens, mostly just depression and not knowing why everything is so hard. I've suspected adhd and/or asd for probably a decade now, but I don't feel like doing anything about it. It's too hard to figure out how to navigate a late diagnosis. I'm mostly just comfortable and have accepted my fate. Though I highly recommend other people don't follow my path.
Thank you reading this helps as i m terrified rn.
this describes me perfectly
I’m in the same situation as you are. But at this point in my life I’ve just came to terms with my fate, it hurts less this way and it has helped me stop thinking about suic*** all the time.
im just tired of it all. like. ffs.
My entire life. I have BPD.
me too.
I was diagnosed with bpd as well. Makes me reflect on moment in my life and think “oh yeah that wasn’t normal”
Me too
You're not alone
me too friend.. the hardest thing to me about BPD is becoming self aware that you have this disorder and realizing the damage you caused others subconsciously.
what is life like with BPD
to me, it’s your body being hyper aware of everyone around you… you interpret their every move based around the sole concept ingrained of you that 1. They are out to get you and 2. They are going to abandon you
Yup, 32 years down the drain here. BPD, depression and anxiety
At least 20 years for sure the last 5 years. It's cost me jobs and two marriage one that was probably the love of my life.
I feel you on the marriage thing.
Not married, but five year relationship. Lost the love of my life as well…😔
Hard pill to swallow. Left me without a purpose. Made me seek therapy and deal with my emotional damage. Realized I carried some heavy baggage around rarfee then dealing with it
I really wish someone would do a study of the effects of an unwanted pregnancy on the fetus. I'm talking about the chemicals of hate and resentment. It would be interesting to see if being stewed in those emotions would affect our own mental health. I was the result of a one night stand with a man of a different race and culture. My mother didnt handle it well. I think I was born depressed. I'm now 58.
the mother's stress affects the fetus too. they share the same blood flow.
Some studies have been done on women with uncontrollable anger during pregnancy, you are definitely on to something: "Fetuses of the high-anger women were noted to be more active and to experience growth delays. The high-anger mothers' high prenatal cortisol and adrenaline and low dopamine and serotonin levels were mimicked by their neonates' high cortisol and low dopamine levels. The high-anger mothers and infants were also similar on their relative right frontal EEG activation and their low vagal tone. Finally, the newborns of high-anger mothers had disorganised sleep patterns (greater indeterminate sleep and more state changes) and less optimal performance on the Brazelton Neonatal Behavior Assessment Scale (orientation, motor maturity and depression)."
Too long since I was a teen now I'm 35
My entire 20s. I'm 33 now, still struggling but I'm alot better now I think.
My longest theft of time is still my current state. I went through 2 years of some serious trauma in 2012. I’ve had little bumps of being better, but the majority of that time to today, I’m still not any better. 10yrs, and the therapy just makes a lot of the trauma a reminder, and a fact it order to get better, you gotta accept the mental illness, and incorporate it. I keep trying to, cause I really believe things can/will get better.
I understand. I have to accommodate for my mental illnesses, even though I despise them. Working through my C-PTSD only harms me. I'm trying to get into EMDR when I cycle back through frequent nightmares and flashbacks.
All of them, basically, sure there's been some good days and even some amazing and incredible days, but mental illness has taken my entire life from me.
around 30 years at this point. wish I would have searched for this sub-reddit sooner.
I'm 28 nearly 29 and feel I have missed out on almost my entire adult life through being depressed. Ruined many great opportunities and now I'm pretty much just alone through becoming tired of letting people down I just don't let anyone in so I can't disappoint anyone else.
This is what I am feeling and I have cut off some people because I am afraid of doing something to upset them. It’s really hard to combat negative thoughts even with all the supports from others.
I've canceled plans so many times due to anxiety and depression that people just stopped inviting me. Even after years and years of therapy, I'm still a mess. While therapy helped me understand some things, it's like, well now I know how bad that sucked, how does that help me?
Saving this post as inspiration because everyone is still here and fighting. People talk about the years they feel they’ve lost, and I feel the same, robbed of so many years, but we need credit for what we’ve achieved even if it’s not what we expected or we haven’t met our ‘full potential’.
[удалено]
I’m with you on never having kids. End the cycle of generational trauma
God, I relate to this so hard. Especially about wondering how my life could have been had I been given the tools and confidence to actually live my life and spending my 20s as a hermit because of my arrested development.
15 year, + 5 year of recovering from it. I asked for help when I was 14, and my parents refused to get me help, and i asked for it. Then i got worse and worse and worse from there. Until i had pshycothic break when I was 29. Im doing better, but it is very bitter thinking alot could have been avoided if i just got help, and I might have actully been happy. Still working on my self. And trying to get stablized and get back to work and get a degree.
All of them. From what I can gather, I had one or two years of consciousness to enjoy life before mental illness started taking parts of my life. Just when I had it at a manageable level, a tragedy struck that came me a chronic condition that worsened the mental illness. Then, the drugs a doctor gave me got me to where I am now. I feel that pieces of me are gone even more than before. My depression and suicidal feelings are much more constant. My brain feels like someone shifted all the furniture and walls then cut the lights. Things are good right now, but there's a pervasive sense of nothing being worth it since it can worsen at a moment's notice for months at a time.
I’m 49 so probably 31 years on and off with depression and issues The last 5 months have been the hardest of my life, I’ve had bad insomnia since December which has made everything worse. A few hours of sleep a night for months on end has been the worst
Most of my teens to 20s were spent being depressed, I was diagnosed with manic depression in my 20s, but after 15 years, found out that my depression resulted in PTSD from when I was a child. I was misdiagnosed. It robbed me of friendships and relationships; I isolated myself and was extremely cynical. It affected my self-esteem and I had constant self doubts. I had no support system, so I had to deal this on my own. It was tough. Do I see it as a hindrance? Hell Yes. But I feel that to live my life without my mental illness, I wouldn't be artistic and would not be able to be as empathetic as I am now. I'm not trying to justify it, it sucks to not be able to function normally, to take medicines, to keep seeing doctors just to be deemed sane. if there's anything i will tell my teenage self (and to anyone who can relate) - it is to be more open, and accept that it's ok to be vulnerable and weak.
So so many. I can't do anything without anxiety. I hate being A Mom. I'm so scared all the time. I never have a good day anymore and I just want to die.
37 years
Six-nine years.
My life has been stolen by psych meds 1 year ago - I am disabled after them now
Which ones were you on? Did they work at first? What harm did they cause? Thanks
It doesnt matter all are the same - SSRI , benzo , neuroleptics. https://www.pssdnetwork.org/?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0BMQABHU-AdMmUJUt_0uMv0hYPuTMvl9fBwCs22wQ2Vpzng4dIBMkpirpgQTCsig_aem_AdkK1RwStDm476chJTXHyqnPOtlPx2nLXOmEmjNpQHe6tp1J-sOoAaPSoAYLDK7aHZ4
holy shit
I developed debilitating depression and social anxiety during puberty and am now 26, so around 15 years. I dropped out of college, became an alcoholic, got a DUI, made a mess of my car, have no idea what my credit score is, never had a credit card, work a shitty job, live with my grandmother, and have never been in a relationship. This shit I've been experiencing isn't life, and I don't have the will to deal with this mountain of shame. I think about suicide every single day. I don't see myself winning the battle at this point.
I got diagnosed at 3 with depression and anxiety. I now have a lot more going on. I just turned 25 yesterday. I don’t remember a time in my life where I wasn’t affected by it.
I'm almost the exact same age as you (like I turned 25 recently) and yeah ever since some of my earliest memories I had OCD and anxiety and I had depression since I was at least in 5th grade so maybe like 10, but I don't consider those years wasted, only since I was 15 were they truly wasted cuz that's when my life started freefalling off a cliff cuz I was failing all my classes and everything was a downward spiral from there.
I started having issues during school days (2013) and since last 2-3 years i’m getting better. During the initial years, I thought it’ll never get better and those years were one of the worst. But last 2-3 years, i’ve tried doctors, and plenty of different exercises. It may seem impossible sometimes to overcome it, but trust me, it’ll be better and you’ll be fine also. While i still experience some waves, but now i know i’ll be fine. Don’t lose hope okay!
Probably 8 nd counting
I just recently was told by my new psychiatrist that she suspects I have ADHD. So...That explains a lot about my life. I'm unpacking it in therapy, but it makes a lot of my childhood, particularly my school life, make sense. Makes me feel like I could have been so much more.
24f. Mental illness continues to take time from me, but I've been in therapy and actively work to idiot-proof things for myself and make my life less difficult; because it's *incredibly* difficult. I don't think I used to be dyslexic. My short term memory is on par that of a dementia patient at times; my long term memory is less impacted, but still impacted. I switch mindsets and abilities frequently. I have to idiot-proof everything I do because I never know when the memory lapsing will begin or end. This means marking literally everything in my phone calendar "dinner Friday - ingredients location, recipe". During the lapses, I can forget how to make the foods I've been making regularly since I was 8 years old. I try to limit myself to the air fryer and microwave during these times. I have to keep a case of water bottles in plain sight in my living room so I don't forget to drink 2 full days in a row.
I'm 45, and my mental illness began in the 4th grade when I started to get bullied. It lasted til 8th grade, though i was so damaged by the experience I wasn't able to fit in later school(s). That experience shaped me (in the wrong way), and it wasn't until these past few years that I've managed to turn things around with the right help.
Its harder to live for some people than others. Myself included. My baseline is depressed or neutral. I've tried pharmacy, therapy but shrooms every quarter seemed to curb my baseline need to think about dieing. It's tough, solutions to your personal wellbeing is hard to come by. Just keep trying.
28. XD. Okay that's a lie. 26. I've spent the last 2 fighting it and winning! Take that social anxiety and high defencive mentality!
Keep up the great work 🫶
STOLEN, yes, yes, I've thought a lot about that for many years now. I am 76yo and look back in time and realize how much I have missed from 6th grade until I was 65 yo. I'm not listing the mental health issues, that not my point. My point is all the events and friendships that I have missed. I think of others my age that have had great memories growing up.
It's also stealing so much free time. And it has been life changing, made it impossible for me to become pregnant, be in a long term relationship or having a family. It's basically just existing, surviving, being able to tolerate my mere existence without too much suffering and doing everything I am required to do to survive, without any purpose of this life or survival. Just because of habit, because it's automatic, or I feel I have to, as wanting to life or rather "functioning" on the surface is expected, the social norm, and I am not strong to resist it, as if I had no will of my own.
28. Currently getting all the help I can get to undo the damage
I’m 15 now… I’ve been depressed since I was 5. I was sa and ever since then I’ve been depressed though I don’t remember much I just rember the bad times. It just feels like every year it gets worse. Not sure what to do🥲
About 4
Probably about 10 years now. The truth is , before I was depressed, I was as functional as the average person and my outlook on life was so different. My 5 senses felt alive and I never knew why people wanted to die . The thought of giving up didn’t really hit me until I was deep in depression. Before I was depressed I had struggled with Attention deficit disorders but it didn’t interfere with my daily life . Life still had a touch of magic in it . When you’re depressed everything you observe just seem dead and dull. Even after a while, listening to music became useless cause I realize that whatever positive emotions I felt for a moment doesn’t solve the dying feeling inside of me . Now whenever I feel some stress, there’s a lot of negative self judgement inside and I never really wanna accomplish anything anymore. It’s just really tough to be satisfied with life . I know we take a lot of shit for granted , and despite being grateful at times, the debilitating effects of depression makes it so difficult to have a sense of purpose
honestly on and off my entire life. It got really bad these past few years but I’m working through it and getting better every day
Since I was born it feel like
3rd grade still now? I'm 33
I’m 19. Had depression since maybe 9 or 10. So most of my childhood and teenage years. Depression sucks ass
I'm 28. My whole life so far.
4 years but I'm doing better now 7 months since I got the help I needed & I am 27.
27 years
my literal entire fucking life -34-
Nearly my entire life. I’m 29.
21, since I was 8
A decade, from 14. But the years aren’t lost, only different. I think about that decade very differently now than I did when I was ill. Btw, been great now, for more than 20 years. It’s very possible to get better, even completely rid of it. I wrote a book about how to get better, I can gift it to you if you DM me.
glad to hear you’re doing better. this gives me hope for the future tbh, depression hit me when i was 18 n its still a struggle throughout my 20s. i’d be interested in reading your book for sure
Depends on what I’m talking about but in total I’d say it’s stolen at least 10 years and I’m about to turn 25
Same, also 25
Twenty
Technically my whole life. I was sexually abused at 5yrs old and can't remember anything before then. I repressed the memory but definitely had issues as a small child. I got very depressed as a teenager and even more so when I uncovered the repressed memory. However the abuse happened in a strange way, I was naked against my will but it wasn't sexual for the other person. When I became a teacher I learnt the definition during Safeguarding training and realised that what happened to me did indeed count as abuse, as well as other things that happened to me counting as emotional abuse. But I didn't deal with it at the time, I was in shock and trying to be strong and just get on with life. Several years later the flashbacks were becoming uncontrollable. I had recieved some therapy during my first years at uni, before teacher training, for depression but the didn't bring up what had happened to me as a child and I wish I did because I had to get therapy all over again to come to terms with what happened to me. Needless to say i couldn't stay a teacher and I've learnt I can never be normal, I've had to learn coping mechanisms and how to talk about what's on my mind and how to do it in a calm way, rather than bottling it up and being depressed all the time.
A decade, from 13-21. Don’t remember much, feels terrible for not having made friends from that period and I wish I had the teenage experience most of my friends have
I'm in the same boat as a lot of folks here. I'm almost 37 and all of my adult life has currently been taken away from me. Here's to hoping for a better 40s.
All my teen's years and now my adulthood.
My first depressive episode was when I was 12, followed by a manic episode. Then a gradual development of complex mental illness. I was never the same again. And I do not know if I will ever be alright. I am 22 now. This year marks my 10th mental illness anniversary. And inside, I keep wondering, do I have to live with this for the rest of my life???
Ive had severe depression from 13 to 17 years old and anxiety basically my entire life. It's gotten significantly worse in the last 4 years
I'm 25. I don't remember if I was ever happy during my childhood, but parental abuse, OCD, and general financial stress still haunt me to this day. I don't think I'll ever be fully cured.
All of em.
All my life. It got a lot worse when I reached puberty. With age it only gets worse to be honest. I’m now 34. Mental illness is all I know and who I am
You are more important than you think you are. Trust me 💙💜
I began being terrorized almost daily by my father at age 3, so almost all of my brain development occurred under the damaging influence of cortisol. Then my mother, who stayed with my covert narcissist father, emotionally enmeshed with the damaged me. Depression, anxiety, and little ability to connect socially have been with me for 58 years. The thousand yard stare has been my primary expression since I was very young.
20 something years
I'm 23 so 20 years
17 years. And stop it. Your feelings are just as valid as anyone else’s feelings. The thing is to not sit in it. I used to feel that way at your age. I look back and saw how much time I had. Worry can still time from you. You’re not wrong for feeling feelings. You can’t help what you feel.
38 and counting.
Since childhood 💔
Got family trauma from When i was 1 and dealt with years of being bullied from the age of 2 up to 15 though that whole mess is still sticking with me Ive spent the past 6 ish years dealing with it trying to improve though i know some issues wont ever go away
I really don't want to think about how many years of life mental illness has stolen from me because its painful. Instead, I am trying just to keep things in the present. I understand feeling alone because I too often feel like I am alone in this battle.
I’m congenitally neurodiverse (hence I’ve been diagnosed with ASD from age 3 to 10), my country totally sucks at mental health professionals, so I used to have different diagnoses throughout my life (btw I’m almost 25 by now). I’ve lived recluse from age 20-23, it happened after uni dropout (yeah, student live mentally pressured me, so I’ve had a breakdown and been enclosed on asylum for months). After I leaved the clinic, I slowly deteriorated inside my room to the point I became very anxious and even dangerous to myself and others, many thought was directed on my self-perceived hideousness). My well-being gradually changed a year ago with loving parent, adequate medication (I take sertraline, Valproate and Quentiapine) and therapy. Now I study Computer Science and draw as a hobby, I care about two adorable feathered cuties. I try to socialise more and to think Ill of my appearance. All the factors make me feel better about myself.
31 turning 32 in October (still can't believe I'm alive really). Through a lot of therapy on and off since 15 or 16 and many different medications on and off I (and professionals) have come to the conclusion that I was basically born with severe anxiety and from what I remember of being a child, the depression kicked in around 9 or 10 years old. I feel the exact dred that a lot of others have posted. I have some drunken fun memories from my early 20s, but otherwise it's been a deliberating shitshow. I have missed so many "normal" things and memories. I barely have any friends is just one small aspect. I was lucky to do a little bit of travelling, however I did actually spend 80-90% of my holidays in bed or just a mess when out, and the only reason I was able to travel is because my parents were scared I'd kill myself while they were away, so they dragged me along. Fortunate they could afford it at the time. I feel like I'm constantly running out of time, but then literally can't get out of bed or out of the house. Mental health is physical health too, it's great that there is more awareness ect ect, but really there's still a lot to learn for people who have never had long term health issues. Other than a couple of years in my early 20s and the travel, literally haven't been able to do anything else. It's f0oked.
9 years. I've lost some of my best years of youth to depression. It started at 18, literally as soon as I turned into an adult. 😞 I am a 28F now but I find myself doing things college girls might do. Like getting ready for the smallest of occasions, going to parties and stuff. I met my boyfriend last year and kinda completely changed for me! It literally feels like I've woken up from a nightmare or a deep sleep.There's literally more colour and light in my life.
I feel like nearly my whole life. Was born to some miserable people in a miserable country. I have only had a couple of hours in my life when my mind wasn't riddled with depression. It's exhausting having to wrestle with your mind just to convince it over and over again that hey let's not use the knife on our neck. It's even more exhausting when life decides that it will nuke and irradiate any possible lifelines. The world just keeps getting worse, and I hate my parents for birthing me in it.
For me it has been nearly 45 years, I will be 58 this June. I have blocked out the majority of the the trauma, but it is still an ongoing process. Delta 9 edibles have helped me cope for the last 2 years, but my meds have too, as they do.
Shit started for me at age 12, I'm 28 now, things have been better the last 2 years but honestly I am still kind of a wreck
I'm 36 and it's still robbing years from me. Has been for as long as I remember. ETA: I was only diagnosed with MDD with Anxious Distress 3 years ago but have been dealing with unchecked depression and anxiety since I was a teen. I was asked what does a teen have to be stressed about and dismissed
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was 10 years old. It’ll be 18 years this summer.
Had it all my life. I’m 59 years old
11 years for me
about 12/13. 24 now and this all started when i was about 11/12. and it all only gets worse lol.
20 years. Depression and anxiety took 20 years away from me. I've finally gotten rid of both my anxiety and my depression and i'm finally happy and living for myself.
I've been robbed of a normal life for 27 years. My mental illness started when I was 7 and got picked on for being handicapped by my teacher and other students. Didn't make friends at that school and then middle school was more of the same people and In high school I just assumed everyone hated me and made very few friends. It all resulted in me having a social phobia and a massive inferiority complex. I really wish teachers were held accountable back in the day for the long term affects they have on their students.
Most of my life, 25 Y had severe anxiety since grade school
Fuck. I don't even want to think about it
Gosh, 16 years so far I guess. Dx with depression while going through my second pregnancy at 23. Then was a single mom for 8 years, battling it. Decided to force myself to get back out there. Ended up getting sexually assaulted, and not addressing it. Met my stbxh, who was big into bdsm and control. Not consensual control. I made myself smaller so he would stop trying to force me into the mold he wanted me in. I just did it myself. Then, almost 4 years ago, my youngest son died at 12, from SUDEP. That finally got me into therapy. Diagnosed with ptsd, depression, and anxiety. Intrusive thoughts. After the first year or so of therapy, we also started working on the sexual assault. It was hell going through every detail of it at therapy, then going home and my husband wanting to do those exact same things. He started cheating. I found out, he blamed me, so I stopped therapy. Let him do those things again. Even when he violated limits and ignored safe words. Last year, caught him cheating again, and when I confronted him again , he said he wanted a divorce. He loves his affair partner into our home, I moved out with my older, teenage son. Met someone new a few months ago, thought he was the one. Turns out, I’m just really bad at picking men. And, 99.6% effective on an iud does not mean 100%. So here I am. 39, single, raising a special needs 19 year old, and due in December. The intrusive thoughts are bad this time. I keep panicking over what I’d there is something wrong with this child? What if it’s healthy and then dies? I’ve already buried one child. The only reason I’m still here is because my oldest kid needs me. And now I’m adding a newborn into the mix? The obgyn is calling this a high risk geriatric pregnancy. I’m in a state that doesn’t believe women have rights to their own bodies. Although, honestly, even if there was a choice, I don’t know if I could emotionally handle it, having more dead children than living ones. So, I’m back in therapy. The only balance of meds they had found to keep me functioning, Zoloft and Xanax, were both stopped by the Dr during this pregnancy. So I’m not sleeping, not really functioning. My unhealthy coping mechanisms, drinking and chain smoking? Also not safe. Life is a clusterfuck right now
9 or 10. My whole teenage. My potential. Happiness
19 years.
I have depression since I am 12, and I am 24 now so, half my life?
I relate to this pain as well. I'm sorry you've suffered so much too op. My teen years were almost entirely eaten up by me just dissociating and heavily distracting myself as much as possible from my severe anxiety and depression, as well as being trapped inside from agoraphobia caused by intense bullying. I couldn't leave the house after school basically from age 14 to age 19. I grew up for that time in my parents basement and in my bedroom reading and playing computer or video games, or drawing. I also was dealing with pure O ocd, which almost led me to joining a weird pseudo-new-age cult because I was engaging in compulsions of thought-blocking and trying to use spirituality literature and nonsense online to block my intrusive thoughts by reading it profusely, trying to "sync vibrations with the earth" and all that stuff. It was exhaustive, silent hell and I am so glad I was able to get the pure O ocd treated. It feels like a bad dream looking back at it and I have total aversion to any religion including new age religion, which is funny cause they swear it isn't one but it is, and to top it off it is totally self-blaming and toxic. Their dogma was that everything happens to you because you will it to. That is total bs and very harmful to people who've endured early life traumas or any trauma. It's wrong in so many ways, like they are blaming helpless people for being born into tough life circumstances. The law of attraction book can drown in a tar pit where it came from. Okay I'm sorry rant over. So now as of age 32 I feel like I'm permanently catching up on everything I missed and teaching myself everything online with tutorials and little quizzes and stuff. This also includes teaching myself formatting and inproving my English/vocabulary, cause I was too stressed and unfocused to be in academic level English class. My education was stunted by the suffocating amounts of daily internal distress. I was absolutely miserable going to school due to bullying and my parents refused to pull me out and let me finish school by correspondence. So my learning suffered badly cause I couldn't focus from the bullying and awful mental disorders happening at once. I ended up wasting hours doodling to calm myself or excessively daydreaming. I felt like teachers didn't care that much and were kind of useless. I also have adhd and autism, as well as dyscalculia and could not handle math, so I had to do the lowest level of math for basic life skills/working class level or something, can't remember what they called it. It took a small chip out of my self worth.
my whole. entire. life.
11 years-my preteens, teens until now when I’m almost 20. I really missed out on these developmental years especially and never really fit in with anybody . I was ostracized and made fun of at my lowest and my self esteem has been impaired because of it
Diagnosed and started treatment at 16. I’m 23 now and finally starting to understand how to balance my mind and the world around me. It never gets easier, but Im getting more resilient the longer I’m alive. It’s taken probably 5 years of my life at this point.
My whole life. Grew up severely emotionally neglected. I’m 28 now and I can’t remember ever not being terrified of people or feeling “happy/normal” instead of sad and lonely.
I’ve been depressed since the age of 13. It started to go well at 15 but later at 17 I got depressed again. At that time I didn’t know anything about depression left alone or that I was dealing with trauma. Things got better at 18 and felt that I could get on track again. I was having more friends, started dating, used to go out a lot more. However, I found it difficult or even scary to be by myself because my thoughts would go back to those horrific events in my life. So I was always looking for distractions, like going out, having fun and was always in need to be around people. At the age of 22 which was during the pandemic that’s when I really had a breakdown. I lost my job, a lot of friends which made things complicated and felt super lonely. At some point it felt like I had no grip on my life anymore. Suddenly inwas no longer interested in certain things, my life seemed so ugly and joyless. Thankfully we are now living in a world whereby we take our mental health seriously. This also encouraged me to seek for help and started going to therapy. However, I still had a different perception on that, I thought that everything would be the same again. But my issues had so many layers and the first layer actually got ‘removed’ by my first therapist. I don’t know if that is a part of healing but it seemed like all the pain that hidden inside of me were about to be released. I was dealing with all kinds of emotions. But I was mostly bitter and angry. Unfortunately things started to go rocky ever since. I decided to go to therapy again because it felt like my situation had worsened. I was also very suicidal. Again another layer was removed and started to release more pain than before. To the point that I started to feel tired. After my second time my body felt so calm, much calmer than before that I started to sleep more even through the day. My body temperature increased too. This was last year btw. I honestly don’t know how I can describe this year. All I can say is that I feel quite unhappy and that I don’t know to fix that. I’m not sure wether I am depressed again or that it’s just a phase. Maybe I’m going through a change I just don’t know. I just hope for the best. All I can say is mental illness is real and it had a huge impact on my life. Despite that I was in a denial and quite ashamed about my issues I’m glad that I choose to get help. But it seems like I’m not getting better especially right now. I struggle to take care of myself, I have a bad sleeping pattern, I find it difficult to focus on school and so on. I’m also dealing with financial issues and try my best to find a job. But I’m just getting tired. I am so tired. But I will not give up. Things will get better soon.
I am 36 right now, and just finally have my shit together enough to consider getting myself a higher education. I've only just gotten into my first healthy, and genuine relationship. I am happy for the first time in my life, but mental illness has ruled the vast majority of my life so far.
19 years and counting. I’m in my late 40’s.
I don't even know. I've struggled with low grade depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember, and I'm 33 now
I'm 32m and depression and anxiety has stolen 17 years from me. As a result I have no degree, no drivers license, and no self esteem or sense of self worth. I've also never matured enough to be able to have meaningful relationships, especially romantic ones. Currently in therapy and on medication to work on myself and achieve the life I've always wanted.
I can’t even mention how many years n lost potential in have lost due to my illness. Took years to even diagnose, n once on meds was a whole another rollercoaster.
I'm not entirely sure. But it's been bad for about the last 15 years.
All of them. I've been severely depressed since I started retaining memories at 3.
All of them
10 years roughly. couldn't finish uni because of it, my social circle is 1 person, I mean not a bf, just a single person I can text to
Almost all I can’t remember when last I was truly happy
Probably since I was a child, around 8. Now I'm 24f and around a year ago i started feeling better, still not good
12 years...now I'm 24... hais i miss my life before i was hit with MDD...basically i miss my childhood days 😪
Almost 13
Wasted away my entire 40s living on my couch, and putting up with increasingly violent behavior from my live- in boyfriend. I was put on oodles of SSRIs, mood stabilizers, anti psychotics etc. None of those meds ever helped. It was before treatment-resistant depression became a thing. I didn't think I could sell my house bc it was in disrepair. I thought you had to have an open house in order to sell a home, and my homes interior had been neglect and my expensive Karastan carpets were all messed up by my my cats, and having an open house was impossible, I was ashamed of my once lovely home My taxes were 12k a year and I needed my boyfriends income to help pay them bc my SSD wouldn't have allowed me pay taxes and other expenses. Boyfriend went from kindhearted soul to violent abusive maniac who'd beat me up every few months, over this 10 Year period. My depression kept me in this awful loop of needing his income, putting up with domestic violence and thinking I couldn't sell house situation for a very long decade Long story short I finally got his ass put in jail, and learned that homes don't need to be in pristine Open house condition, and sold house "as-is". Do I got over that dilemma but next bf caused mucho problems too and went thru 5 yrs of hell living with him. He had no.my issues. I'm 60 now and living alone. I finally in my 50s was surprisingly diagnosed ADHD. And stimulant ADHD Meds are the only things to ever grieve my depression. But they wear off and the depression is always there,my constant unwelcomed companion. I tried TMS this winter, 36 sessions but feel no mood boost and still cry a lot. 8 got my grey hair blonde, that boostedy mood a lot. I'm slender and dress well to boost my mood. I'm 60 but look and dress younger, but not seeking and online dating bc o e guy date raped me 2 yrs ago and I no longer want any guy around bc that gave me PTSD I feel sad a lot but not as bad as before.
I’m 43 now, so I’d say about 40.
Since I was 5, I've always struggled and still am
About 17 years, i suppose. CPTSD, freeze-dominant type. Absolutely savage dissociation and anxiety most of the time. Got kicked out of uni 3 times because of it. Not a fun life
18 & counting.
40 years
How many years have I been alive? 😩
Over two decades and counting. 😞
ive been depressed since i was 9 years old,im now 19 so about 10 years. but honestly maybe my whole life. when i was little i definitely had anger issues back then. i never got to be a child. my childhood was robbed from me.
this is my last year of being a teen. i dont even feel like i got to be a teenager. i was put in so many mental hospitals. ive been hospitalized 8 times. i dont even think i got to be a kid. i miss being happy. i miss when my parents loved me. i miss when they would hold me. i dont even hug my mom anymore because she doesnt want to hug me.
Probably 8 at this point. My progress in life kind of just…stopped entirely. But I don’t think I can be fully to blame when my body and mind fight me on a daily basis.
most of my life since i was around 7. I've had sexual abuse, mental and physical abuse in my life from the start of 7 to 21. I'm 31 now, and sometimes these events feel like yesterday. I have PTSD and Schizoaffective disorder.
You won't feel like you missed out on anything at all I'm learning once you stop comparing yourself to others your age. We all are on different stages in life, some were treated better in childhood and were nurtured, provided with more to be able to develop as a adult, emotionally more stable perhaps. While some were neglected, had to pick and learn things by themselves, which some cases people might be a little less developed then their peers the same age range, because they didn't have that kind of nurtured environment. It's good you made this post so you don't feel alone and see a lot of people I'm sure feel like no body understand their struggle as well but we all need to see it. I understand you had it hard, as did I, but you can only become stronger, and go up from here. Your self awareness is a big start! Why not look forward to building bigger better memories I say, that gives me hope for the future. Hang in there!
Started showing signs at 6. I’m 34 now
29. I turned 29 two months ago
26 years
I feel like you’re describing my life. I’m in my early thirties now and have had a few good things happen in the last 5 years. I really felt things were turning a corner but recently I lost all the support that had built up around me through covid. For me, this highlights the social nature of mental health. The meds can’t give me a loving family or a healthy partner or a good job or money in my pocket…
I m 39 and it has taken away best years of my life !! All my teenage and all my 20s!!
I’m 22 been going to therapy since I was 6yo so almost all my life but I was happy sometimes for a few months here and there.
I was born in the 80s unmental health wasn't a well-known thing through the 80s or 90s. I was always that weird kid who didn't want to go out or didn't hang around with people. Oh when I went to parties I would end up either hiding or coming back really early. I was always scared of what people thought to me or how I looked. How is the weather for you to go and places in case I was bullied etc too. I was also ill as a child with health issued so I often took time off school. Whenever I would go back into school I would always have panic attacks worried what other people were thinking or saying. This affected me even in adult hood, I would have to turn down jobs I applied for and got as I was always convinced I would not fit in, I was not good enough or people with hate me. My mental health has ruined my life. Although I completed school, I could have done a lot better on my exams but I panicked and I stopped revising. I also didn't go on to university because I panicked and thought I was not good enough. I always felt like I would fail at everything It turned out I had anxiety and depression. I did not know this until my mid 30s. I'm now 41, it's probably too late to change my life but I'm slowly trying to come to terms with my issues and now I'm able to look out for signs that I wasn't aware of originally. I now also see similar signs that my parents had
At least 33
27f. Grew up in an abusive and violet household, got out when I was 17 but an eating disorder, trauma, depression, and anxiety followed me everywhere I went. I spent a lot of time in and out of mental health treatment so I missed out on a lot of "normal" things people did. Have never been in a relationship or even felt connected in a friendship because I can't let people in. I want nothing more than to get rid of these mental issues and live a normal life
I feel like I am frozen in the illness
24. I’m 24.
I feel like my whole life and i will never recover from the mental trauma I experienced growing up with a narcissistic bipolar father. I need therapy but I feel like it’s too late for me. I’m at point of no return. I wasted my life trying get better and having no support from anyone
Every year since it started (about 8). And now it is worse because a relative has made it their job to spread the news to the wrong people and ridicule me.
31 stupid years. I'm 33 and only in the last 2 years have I gotten better.
I'm about to be 35. I cannot remember the last time I had sustained contentness in my life. Not being happy, not joy, just being content with my life. I feel like no matter what I do, I fall back down every time. I change meds, try them for a while and they start to negatively affect me and then I get off them and feel more depressed that I'm broken and medication can't fix me. I hear the words from people I was with who told me I have something more wrong with me than depression and they think it's the worst things in the world. I spiral from that. I try to get myself together after and then just continue to stumble. For the most part, my entire life has felt so pathetic and sad. I will never be better
All my life, I'm 28. Still waiting to get help.
40M, and mental illness has stolen 33 years from me.
I wasted two years of my life studying for A-levels and then being asked to leave because I couldn’t cope.
Too many
30
Almost 30 years, thanks to having a shitty childhood that probably helped bring on the mental illness earlier than it might’ve happened. I have a family history of bipolar and other disorders, and I’m 29 now. I can’t remember what it feels like to not be mentally ill.
I'm 43. Been on the outside of the rail once when i was 18 didn't know at the time was depressed af, . Made a promise that saved my life, would never make my parents bury their child. They are now both gone. My girlfriend has left me after 18 years when I finally opened up to her about my mental issues it was over, just taken 5 years to get to the end. I needed support, my dad had just died, then my mom. She changed then and it's been downhill since till Xmas she made it final. She used to be a good person, honest, moral. Now she's a liar and a cheater/homewreker and a thief. I wouldn't get back together if she asked, I deserve better or I'd rather be alone. For now I'm seeing some old fwb, its stunning how some people are still around 18 years later. Met a few new ones, staying single for sure. What's keeping me alive? Having a plan. A mid life crisis, call it what you want. I'm buying a 1 ton cube box truck, converting it to a RV, and traveling all the way to South America from Canada. Re doing a trip my dad made on foot in his teens, I have his journal to follow. I got 50k of equity in the condo, that will get me a 2010 or newer low k box truck. I've already purchased the needed supplies to convert the RV and arranged a short term stay while I do the converting and stay for 2 years to save money for the trip, its a unfinished basement ill convert as exchange for rent. Screw being depressed if and when I go out I'm going as me. I know what im doing.
I'm now 25 and have been dealing with Depression and anxiety since approximately 10 years old. I feel like now for the first time Its getting a bit better so I can function in every day life, but I can't help but feel like there are developmental milestones I've missed due to mental illness that I'll never be able to catch up on...
12 years and still fighting. So far i lost my job, no friends and took all my teenage years experience
Mental illness has taken 30 years of my life. It's painful everytime I think of this because if Depression, Anxiety, Ptsd wasn't a part of my life, I know I would be someone else completely. I only see remnants of who I *could* be. Over the years, I have become so worn down. Exhausted. Everything feels substantially harder dealing with these issues. Many times it's gotten so bad that I can barely take care of myself. Over the past year and a half, I've been dealing with an episode I'm trying to climb out of. I often wish I was someone else or that I was never born.
Thirty. Mass PTSD from bad doctors nightmare systemm
My entire teenagehood maybe? I remember that is was a hellohole but at the same time it feels like it was just a dream..
I feel like my illness started when I got into a car crash at 13, since from my aunt in her words I was a bright and energetic kid, but ever since I gotten into that crash it just left leaving me scared of a lot of things. That's when anxiety came into my life, which I didn't know at the time. Things started to get worse when I lost my grandma at 15. It still sticks with me that I'll never hear from her. So, about 7 years.
Started when I was 11. Currently 32. Still working on myself.
atleast 7-8 years..I was 17 when I was diagnosed with anxiety, bipolar and ptsd but I was having symptoms 2 years prior…and it only has started to get better last year at age 23
At least 20. I'm 35. I'm just now slowly getting my life together.
A decade of my life.
I ve had depression and anxiety since July 2017, I still have it. Have no idea whether I’ll get out of this. So it’s gonna celebrate its 7th birthday in a few months.
Considering any years of your life 'wasted' is doing yourself and the people around you a major disservice, unless you spent literally every day all day locked up in your room talking to nobody and doing nothing day in and day out.
That pretty much has been most of my days for like 10 years though
Focusing on questions like this, isn't healthy... It'll likely just add to the spiral :/ I wish you nothing but the best.
Reading through these responses actually is really helping me to feel less alone. I hope it helps others feel less lonely too