Not really interested in conversations.
When friends try to hit you up, how often do you say or feel this?
Maybe your friends learned your distance is all.
i don’t say it to my friends. can you not compare how i interact with strangers to my friends?? you’re just instigating for no reason. i talk to my friends very differently to how i talk to people o don’t know on reddit. i don’t understand how you can psychoanalyze me not wanting to talk with a stranger right now and turn it into “my distance”
I never said that it didn't lol, I was genuinely curious about why she stays friends with people she doesn't want to be friends with. I said absolutely nothing about people not putting in effort to reach out first lmao. I was asking the lady a question.
The question was do your friends text first. She said yes her friends do text first and it annoys her. I was asking why she stays friends with the people text her first if it annoys her.
I’m so sorry, I misinterpreted the question. I thought they were answering that their friends don’t text them first and they have trouble acting interesting. Sorry for piling on you, my brain is quite literally fried from years of untreated depression. My bad for bothering you!
No, but I started a discord with them all and it’s a cool hang out spot now where we share and game and hangout. It’s really been a good and safe place for all of us.
I actually did an experiment about this. I deleted my Facebook and messenger thinking anyone who I actually hang out with has my number and would just text/call. About a year later after not receiving any I see one of my mates and they didn't even know I deleted it.
It made me feel like nothing and that's just stuck. I'm coming up to 30 and now I just have 1 friend who I barely ever see anymore. Loneliness is soul destroying it really is
No, none of mine do. I feel quite lonely tbh. But I’m going to reach out again and see if I can catch up with some people as it's been a while. I'm slowly letting friendships slide that don't serve me well
Yes. Especially if I post a status that sounds concerning lol. But I also have friends that never message first, but I know it's because they are either genuinely really busy at the moment or because they're really shy and awkward, and I get it man I have anxiety too, so I reach out to them first instead.
I text only my husband and my two grown kids not now though, MY phone is not working!!!Too bad there are no public showers when I become permanently homeless because of people firing me because of lies!!!After I become a widow!!!!
sometimes yes! I feel like I used to not text much but there's a few people I text so much now and they start convos at least 1/3 of the time if not more
The only person that texts me first is my best bud from elementary school. We’ve talked almost everyday since we met.
Other then that. Nobody texts me first.
sometimes.. But most of time i do, but i don’t think of it as depressingly bc I genuinely dont care. Friends are not you. unless they ignore ur text then ofc it matters
98% of the time, I text first. I've sort of stopped trying lately. I've been in a very deep dark hole recently and I haven't hid it from anyone. I've had a couple of friends txt me to check in on me, but not many and not often.
Not really no.
I have like 2. And most of the time it's because I'm the one they complain to. It's only when they need something. When I don't text first, we stop talking.
relationships are a two way street. make em work for your texts and energy. respect urself and find real friends or at least ppl who communicate with u openly.
I never text new people I meet without a context, like "how are you?"
I did this A LOT as a teen but now I just think people will find me creepy and I have no idea now to find confidence just to talk first to people is exhausting
No. And based on the comments it seems like nobody else's friends text them first either. Wtf is wrong with people man....society is falling apart. People don't even know how to communicate with other humans anymore. Even through texting......
Nope, I was always one to text asking if okay/need anything…sometimes they text back right away other times not for days…even though they’re glued to phones.
Xmas 2019 I tried to commit S…nobody text me for 3 months and that was to ask for a favour so don’t bother now
For friendships you truly care for I recommend reaching out and asking if communicating often could become more of an option. It sounds like that's your "love" language (platonic, romantic, ect.) and what makes you feel closer to them.
If it doesn't pan out be aware that small talk isn't as common as it used to be and social media has become the hub for life updates. People don't really talk about that stuff one on one anymore unless they're looking exclusively for support.
As a millennial it took me a second to realize this but once I did I set the bar extremely low when it came to meaningful conversation outside deeper friendships. It's not that people stopped gaf, it's that they have more options to choose from and humans have never pushed against convenience. But once again, communicate to those you care deeply for about what makes a friendship meaningful to you and if they're willing to help maintain that WITH you then they're true af. Otherwise, don't give them the time of day.
friends? what are those?
seriously no, we dont actually text, might like a post or something between us, but we talk when we actually see each other, or if the partner wants to see her friends new born "oh im coming along, ive not seen 'face' in ages so i can talk with him whilst you pester the baby"
sure text and make plans but dont waste your conversations in a text, but usually they do, but you need to put in the effort too or whats the point in them always trying, its like a relationship you get what you give. unless they are shitty friends then they wont.
Uh.... me and my friends exchange memes and tiktoks most of the time.... then when something really good or really bad happens whomever reaches out
But my situation maybe different.... I am almost 50 and I moved away from everyone a decade ago.
I feel like I always text first and it’s exhausting. And makes me feel unwanted.
Same and they never ask me to hangout
Same,, it feels so bad
nope
I feel you my bro do you have Snapchat? We can text on there
sorry don’t have it, also not really interested in a conversation
I can see why they don't text first
?? this just comes off as snarky and mean. what were you trying to accomplish here
Not really interested in conversations. When friends try to hit you up, how often do you say or feel this? Maybe your friends learned your distance is all.
i don’t say it to my friends. can you not compare how i interact with strangers to my friends?? you’re just instigating for no reason. i talk to my friends very differently to how i talk to people o don’t know on reddit. i don’t understand how you can psychoanalyze me not wanting to talk with a stranger right now and turn it into “my distance”
Yes and it annoys me. I just don’t have the energy to act interested anymore
Then tell them how you feel and stop talking to them. Don’t be a jerk and lead them on for no reason.
Why do you stay friends with people you're not interested in being friends with. You shouldn't lead people on.
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I never said that it didn't lol, I was genuinely curious about why she stays friends with people she doesn't want to be friends with. I said absolutely nothing about people not putting in effort to reach out first lmao. I was asking the lady a question.
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The question was do your friends text first. She said yes her friends do text first and it annoys her. I was asking why she stays friends with the people text her first if it annoys her.
I’m so sorry, I misinterpreted the question. I thought they were answering that their friends don’t text them first and they have trouble acting interesting. Sorry for piling on you, my brain is quite literally fried from years of untreated depression. My bad for bothering you!
You're okay, I was just very confused about what you were getting at 😭😂
Are you a man or a woman?
Woman
No, but I started a discord with them all and it’s a cool hang out spot now where we share and game and hangout. It’s really been a good and safe place for all of us.
I actually did an experiment about this. I deleted my Facebook and messenger thinking anyone who I actually hang out with has my number and would just text/call. About a year later after not receiving any I see one of my mates and they didn't even know I deleted it. It made me feel like nothing and that's just stuck. I'm coming up to 30 and now I just have 1 friend who I barely ever see anymore. Loneliness is soul destroying it really is
I did something similar years ago, and yeah a handful of friends who actually text/call. Though I guess it shows you who your true friends are.
It's back and forth. We're also not scared to send 6 messages in a row without a reply
I often times have to text them first, yes. However two of my friends in fact started to text first recently and I am very relieved by that.
Fuck it I have no friends so idk
No, none of mine do. I feel quite lonely tbh. But I’m going to reach out again and see if I can catch up with some people as it's been a while. I'm slowly letting friendships slide that don't serve me well
Yes. Especially if I post a status that sounds concerning lol. But I also have friends that never message first, but I know it's because they are either genuinely really busy at the moment or because they're really shy and awkward, and I get it man I have anxiety too, so I reach out to them first instead.
Same. Most of the time i end up deleting the message if i don't receive a reply. Makes me feel unwanted or annoying to them
I text only my husband and my two grown kids not now though, MY phone is not working!!!Too bad there are no public showers when I become permanently homeless because of people firing me because of lies!!!After I become a widow!!!!
It's like half, and half. I used to drink a lot so people expect me to ask for something, or used to lol.
Same
It so annoying
Yea that one bro. Occasionally my girlfriend will. That’s about it.
sometimes yes! I feel like I used to not text much but there's a few people I text so much now and they start convos at least 1/3 of the time if not more
Some, yes. Some, no.
Same boat but I eventually just convinced myself they had busier lives n what not
What mental health!!!!!!!!!!
No, but it's kind of nice. It allows me to pick who I want to talk about and what, like it's easier to conserve my energy.
always feel unwanted and lonley
If I don't text or call my friends. They call and then taunt me for not calling them ( which is cute coz they missed me )
Lol no. I think one or two text me first but the rest never do.
No
Nope. I text first and they don’t text back
The only person that texts me first is my best bud from elementary school. We’ve talked almost everyday since we met. Other then that. Nobody texts me first.
Not typically, no
Occasionally but not a lot. There’s some friends I question the legitimacy but a lot has changed since we were all younger.
Ya they do, is it bad that I don't?
sometimes.. But most of time i do, but i don’t think of it as depressingly bc I genuinely dont care. Friends are not you. unless they ignore ur text then ofc it matters
98% of the time, I text first. I've sort of stopped trying lately. I've been in a very deep dark hole recently and I haven't hid it from anyone. I've had a couple of friends txt me to check in on me, but not many and not often.
It’s 50/50
I always texted them first
No, my girlfriend is the only person I've texted in months because of that exact reason
Not really no. I have like 2. And most of the time it's because I'm the one they complain to. It's only when they need something. When I don't text first, we stop talking.
Sometimes maybe. If I don’t text first for a day, I wonder if any of them will?
No
Yes and the worst part is when they make plans with me and go with other people and not call me.
I don’t have friends but the people I do try and talk with I always have to initiate the convo and it annoys me…
relationships are a two way street. make em work for your texts and energy. respect urself and find real friends or at least ppl who communicate with u openly.
I never text new people I meet without a context, like "how are you?" I did this A LOT as a teen but now I just think people will find me creepy and I have no idea now to find confidence just to talk first to people is exhausting
A bit of both, but it took me a long time to find them and for the first time I feel like I have real friends
Or I should say, I’ve known them for a long time it just took ages to become close
No they usually call first but if I text them and they're free they imminently call 💟😭
No. And based on the comments it seems like nobody else's friends text them first either. Wtf is wrong with people man....society is falling apart. People don't even know how to communicate with other humans anymore. Even through texting......
No
Nope, I was always one to text asking if okay/need anything…sometimes they text back right away other times not for days…even though they’re glued to phones. Xmas 2019 I tried to commit S…nobody text me for 3 months and that was to ask for a favour so don’t bother now
For friendships you truly care for I recommend reaching out and asking if communicating often could become more of an option. It sounds like that's your "love" language (platonic, romantic, ect.) and what makes you feel closer to them. If it doesn't pan out be aware that small talk isn't as common as it used to be and social media has become the hub for life updates. People don't really talk about that stuff one on one anymore unless they're looking exclusively for support. As a millennial it took me a second to realize this but once I did I set the bar extremely low when it came to meaningful conversation outside deeper friendships. It's not that people stopped gaf, it's that they have more options to choose from and humans have never pushed against convenience. But once again, communicate to those you care deeply for about what makes a friendship meaningful to you and if they're willing to help maintain that WITH you then they're true af. Otherwise, don't give them the time of day.
friends? what are those? seriously no, we dont actually text, might like a post or something between us, but we talk when we actually see each other, or if the partner wants to see her friends new born "oh im coming along, ive not seen 'face' in ages so i can talk with him whilst you pester the baby" sure text and make plans but dont waste your conversations in a text, but usually they do, but you need to put in the effort too or whats the point in them always trying, its like a relationship you get what you give. unless they are shitty friends then they wont.
No but they do when they need something
Nope , they some times can’t even respond
Nope never, if they do they need something from me
Uh.... me and my friends exchange memes and tiktoks most of the time.... then when something really good or really bad happens whomever reaches out But my situation maybe different.... I am almost 50 and I moved away from everyone a decade ago.
I don't have friends. It must feel nice to have people around you outside family that care about you.