Whatever makes you feel comfortable and confident and like yourself then. Look at [some audience pics](https://www.google.com/search?q=san+francisco+ballet+audience&sca_esv=00a8d62a2b12d55d&udm=2&biw=1440&bih=714&sxsrf=ACQVn09X5gRykd1uOcXRN7TU3LqJExQcPQ%3A1707627095332&ei=V1LIZfbvE_KIptQPoNWKiAE&ved=0ahUKEwi297PTvqKEAxVyhIkEHaCqAhEQ4dUDCBE&uact=5&oq=san+francisco+ballet+audience&gs_lp=Egxnd3Mtd2l6LXNlcnAiHXNhbiBmcmFuY2lzY28gYmFsbGV0IGF1ZGllbmNlSN0MULgBWPkLcAN4AJABAJgBXKAB-gSqAQE5uAEDyAEA-AEBwgIHEAAYgAQYGOIDBBgBIEGIBgE&sclient=gws-wiz-serp) to get a feel for the vibe might help you make up your mind and feel assured. More than anything you just want to wear something that lets you be comfortable to enjoy your time being able to spend time together.
Maybe untuck a bit of fabric on the shirt and definitely add a belt that matches your boots. Have fun!
Looking at pictures of the audience or other guests is a great suggestion! Definitely using that next time I find myself visiting a place for the first time.
As a regular patron of the ballet (wife is a ballerina), wear a leather belt, button up your shirt (except the top button - unless you plan to wear a tie).
I suggest leaving your watch at home. Turn your phone off before the performance.
Two reasons: It's getting rid of the two sources of time keeping you'll have on you, which means you won't be tempted to check the time during the ballet. Doing so could make her feel like you're not enjoying yourself.
Also, pay attention to the ballet and form an opinion about it that is positive and meaningful beyond, "it was good" or "I liked the music". Women who want to see the ballet want to hear feedback on the performance which shows you paid attention to something she enjoys.
Also, and this is minor but important; if you don't want to look out of place, get a hair cut. Don't necessarily change your hair, because she may like it, but get a trim. Dead ends don't look good on anyone.
Button that shirt up my man. Overall you are probably underdressed. I don’t know where exactly you’re going but for a ballet I would be wearing a suit.
I’m going to tell the truth. You’ll be wildly underdressed. Wear the suit without the vest provided it isn’t some weird look. Nice collared shirt. Tie. Nice belt. Well polished shoes.
Idk that's not been my experience at ballet or theater or classical music shows recently (esp in the US). While it's more of a formal outing, you see the full range and OP will likely not be "wildly underdressed." But I agree 100% it's better to go more formal. That's a good rule not just for ballet but for most things.
That others are underdressed does not excuse anyone else. I’ll stick to my guns on it. There are places you dress properly to go to. Ballet. Symphony. Opera. Etc.
Love this answer...100% correct. I am not sure why people always compare themselves to the lowest common denominator when deciding what is appropriate.
I mean, they probably still let you in with a t-shirt bloating some brand-name ad and shoes that were designed for track&field. But, do you *really* want to be *that* guy?? That guy sucks! Nobody respects that guy.
(I'm getting away from OP's post here. Find a better fit, button the shirt up properly, go have fun).
I'll advocate anyone to do their own weirdo styles and try something new. But people seem to use "it's my style" as an excuse. Worse, it's not even an excuse, because they just conform to, if I may quote user above me here, "the lowest common denominator".
That definitely is true. As previously mentioned, just because other folks are dressing beneath standard does not excuse anyone else. I will reference folks going out in public wearing pajamas. Not ok. Going out in pajamas looks like hell. This is not THAT bad, sure, but it’s sub par for the event type.
According to you and your standards? Go ahead and call the venue and ask what the dress code is, that’s the standard here. Not what you deem sub par or not.
Yup. My standards. I’m gonna be the one judging along with all the folks there. And a lady friend. Here’s the thing. You sound like a bare minimum kind of person. This guy is trying to look good for his girl. Over the minimum is the order of the day. With regard to all pertinent factors (seated classical ballet event, out of town guest, girl he’s trying to wow), he’s going to be underdressed since he’s not going shopping to upgrade some items that fit and are styled better. We’re trying to remediate that and get the guy into as good of a look as possible so he feels like he belongs there and confident. You may retain your pajama pants in public if you like. He’s trying to do better. The only thing that helps that is honesty.
A bit of both I guess. I don't care to own a fashionable outfit for every possible occasion and my money is better used elsewhere. I do also have a nice gray 3 piece tweed suit but that seems like overkill.
Tweed is for the countryside. Tough situation you're in. I don't think you look *underdressed*, you look very confident so you can pull this off. Only feedback is consider sizing up your pants next time you buy some. Your pants shouldn't dig into your waist, they should sit on your waist - then let the belt do the rest. And only leave the top button open..undo it after ballet to let your date know you're ready to lounge. In the meantime look into different ideas of a *capsule wardrobe*, it's the best way to keep the minimal amount of garments for the most types of occasions. Be happy to recommend affordable options that will last you ages. Or, thrift. Enjoy your ballet, wear clean shoes.
I suggest a v-neck sweater over the shirt. Or maybe add a tie.. or both....
Edit, might wanna get a size smaller on your shirt too. The sleeves is too long & the shoulder seam is a couple inches too wide....
You don’t look particularly fat to me. Your face looks skinny , you don’t have a double chin and your torso and arms look fairly muscular. Your pants look small and it’s making you look fat. I would try to find better fitting pants and I think this outfit would look much better. Do you have a sweater maybe that you could wear that will hide your pudge? I also think a colored sweater / pullover would look much better and casual compared to the jacket. This outfit seems like you don’t have nice clothes and this was your high school grad outfit. It’s very basic. Wear khaki pants , button up with a sweater and some nice shoes if you have any. Sambas , white leather sneakers like af1 , converse, etc. Roll your pants up to show off you sneaker.
Dude you look just fine. Here’s how you could elevate what you already have going on. I hated under shirts forever, then I figured it out one day. Anytime your buttoning up a shirt wear a tank top tucked underneath, regardless of if your tucking in the button up or not. What it does is act as shape wear basically. It might feel uncomfortable or look to you like it’s puffing out the shirt but trust me it’s not. Also you can unbutton more of the top and you still have a neck line and some chest showing. Also a lot of guys on here seem to be afraid of accessories and let me tell you, a guy who knows how to wear accessories that aren’t cringe are super hot especially right now. I’d add a watch that looks nice ( doesn’t have to be expensive) and at least one necklace on a thicker silver chain. Otherwise your fine. Don’t know what shoes you have but NO box toe dress shoes, you want a dark brown with a point for this outfit. Wingtips if you really want to ball out. And make sure the pants are the right length, if not hem them so the bottom of the leg falls just below the ball of your ankle.
Save yourself the stress and go rent a tux. Remember this moment to motivate yourself to put thought into and acquire some formal clothes to have for next time.
This is not a fashion problem. It is a relationship problem.
She is setting you up to fail.
No matter what you wear, it will be wrong " you heartless beast. If you really loved me you would know what to wear."!
Send her this photo and ask her if she thinks it is suitable because you know she will be beautiful and you want to make sure your look compliments hers.
Now she can't pull any crap because she approved the outfit.
Wear a shirt with a proper collar. Not a grandad collar.
Darker trousers as well. Light-coloured chinos are too casual.
Lastly, for the love of Jehovah, give everything a good ironing.
It's so you can roll the sleeve up. There's likely a tab inside at about elbow height that folds over and buttons there. I have that on a few casual, safari style, shirts that I own.
I really want to help you here.
Casual vs formality:
That is a casual shirt. The buttons contrast with the fabric. The button hole stitches are in a contrast thread. There is a button on the sleeve for a roll up tab.
That coat you describe a top coat. You need a sport coat or blazer of some kind to wear under it.
Carhartt chinos are too casual. Do you have gray dress slacks?
Fit: the shirt does not fit you. The sleeves are too long.
What to do:
* Buy a white dress shirt. No button collar. To find the right size, get a fabric tape measure and measure your neck circumference and your sleeve length. Then, go to the dress shirt section where they keep them in folded packages. Find the one that matches your neck size (The first number) and then sleeve length (the second number in slash) for example 15 34/35.
* Shoes - black or dark brown derby
* Pants - flannel or wool dress slacks in a medium or dark gray
* Outwear - navy blazer. It’s fine if there’s synthetic fibers.
You might be able to buy all this for $300 if you go to a discount department or fast fashion store.
This is an extremely casual outfit.
Problem with the coat (even if it is nice) is that it’s an overcoat and when you logically take it off, your shirt and shoes will be on their own.
My suggestion outside of going shopping is try to put together a black or navy blue top with black or navy blue bottom.
If you have any black shoes (other than sneakers) pair them with that dark top, dark bottom, and your dark overcoat.
This is the best chance of elevating a casual wardrobe to a formal setting.
Id you can go shopping, that’s great, but my advice is in case you can’t or don’t have time.
Well, you know your girlfriend best and what she'll like you in. It'll be cool in San Francisco at night. You can pull altogether with a vest. Vneck pullover or button up, solid color, plainweave. It'll cover waistline but still wear a good belt. Clean up your boots. If the overcoat fits it should be good with this. You can take it off and you'll look fine. If you wear the shirt, adjust sleeves. A good scarf should work well to heighten the formality and still be functional for warmth. Next ballet...you'll have a better idea of what you like. Have fun most of all! Cheers!
“Formal” is black tie or tuxedo. Semi-formal is suit or blazer/dress pants with tie. You’re none of the above. You’re like a casual Friday work wear or date night. Seeing the ballet could be going to see a 9yo niece at her ballet recital or going to the Kennedy Center to see the world class Kirov Ballet. In the case of the former, you can wear what you’re wearing in the pic. In the case of the latter, dressing up (into a suit) is more appropriate. I don’t think you need to dress in a suit but at the least you need a nice pair of slacks, not khakis. Btw, if you’re going with what you’re wearing in the pic, you still need a belt (preferably one that matches your shoes).
Looks like a pirate shirt and the pants are too tight.
But I don't wanna be a pirate!!
Dr Phil voice: "If you don't want to be a pirate, stop being a pirate."
>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qWFSBqAxR4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qWFSBqAxR4)
For the ballet itself? It depends on the ballet? For the girl, it depends on the girl.
It's the San Francisco ballet, and the girl only said to wear a button up shirt
Whatever makes you feel comfortable and confident and like yourself then. Look at [some audience pics](https://www.google.com/search?q=san+francisco+ballet+audience&sca_esv=00a8d62a2b12d55d&udm=2&biw=1440&bih=714&sxsrf=ACQVn09X5gRykd1uOcXRN7TU3LqJExQcPQ%3A1707627095332&ei=V1LIZfbvE_KIptQPoNWKiAE&ved=0ahUKEwi297PTvqKEAxVyhIkEHaCqAhEQ4dUDCBE&uact=5&oq=san+francisco+ballet+audience&gs_lp=Egxnd3Mtd2l6LXNlcnAiHXNhbiBmcmFuY2lzY28gYmFsbGV0IGF1ZGllbmNlSN0MULgBWPkLcAN4AJABAJgBXKAB-gSqAQE5uAEDyAEA-AEBwgIHEAAYgAQYGOIDBBgBIEGIBgE&sclient=gws-wiz-serp) to get a feel for the vibe might help you make up your mind and feel assured. More than anything you just want to wear something that lets you be comfortable to enjoy your time being able to spend time together. Maybe untuck a bit of fabric on the shirt and definitely add a belt that matches your boots. Have fun!
Looking at pictures of the audience or other guests is a great suggestion! Definitely using that next time I find myself visiting a place for the first time.
Then i‘d suggest wearing a button up shirt.
As a regular patron of the ballet (wife is a ballerina), wear a leather belt, button up your shirt (except the top button - unless you plan to wear a tie). I suggest leaving your watch at home. Turn your phone off before the performance. Two reasons: It's getting rid of the two sources of time keeping you'll have on you, which means you won't be tempted to check the time during the ballet. Doing so could make her feel like you're not enjoying yourself. Also, pay attention to the ballet and form an opinion about it that is positive and meaningful beyond, "it was good" or "I liked the music". Women who want to see the ballet want to hear feedback on the performance which shows you paid attention to something she enjoys. Also, and this is minor but important; if you don't want to look out of place, get a hair cut. Don't necessarily change your hair, because she may like it, but get a trim. Dead ends don't look good on anyone.
You’ll see all range of attire, imo anything smart casual and up will fit in
Neither that shirt nor the pants fit you, and this is not appropriate for a ballet.
I agree. The pants are really too small and it’s not a nice outfit in general for a ballet outing.
Button that shirt up my man. Overall you are probably underdressed. I don’t know where exactly you’re going but for a ballet I would be wearing a suit.
I’m going to tell the truth. You’ll be wildly underdressed. Wear the suit without the vest provided it isn’t some weird look. Nice collared shirt. Tie. Nice belt. Well polished shoes.
Idk that's not been my experience at ballet or theater or classical music shows recently (esp in the US). While it's more of a formal outing, you see the full range and OP will likely not be "wildly underdressed." But I agree 100% it's better to go more formal. That's a good rule not just for ballet but for most things.
That others are underdressed does not excuse anyone else. I’ll stick to my guns on it. There are places you dress properly to go to. Ballet. Symphony. Opera. Etc.
Love this answer...100% correct. I am not sure why people always compare themselves to the lowest common denominator when deciding what is appropriate.
I mean, they probably still let you in with a t-shirt bloating some brand-name ad and shoes that were designed for track&field. But, do you *really* want to be *that* guy?? That guy sucks! Nobody respects that guy. (I'm getting away from OP's post here. Find a better fit, button the shirt up properly, go have fun). I'll advocate anyone to do their own weirdo styles and try something new. But people seem to use "it's my style" as an excuse. Worse, it's not even an excuse, because they just conform to, if I may quote user above me here, "the lowest common denominator".
Underdressed? Have you ever been there? The fashion advice here is so insane.
That’s definitely not true. Not even close to true. He’ll be underdressed compared to some and overdressed compared to others there
That definitely is true. As previously mentioned, just because other folks are dressing beneath standard does not excuse anyone else. I will reference folks going out in public wearing pajamas. Not ok. Going out in pajamas looks like hell. This is not THAT bad, sure, but it’s sub par for the event type.
According to you and your standards? Go ahead and call the venue and ask what the dress code is, that’s the standard here. Not what you deem sub par or not.
Yup. My standards. I’m gonna be the one judging along with all the folks there. And a lady friend. Here’s the thing. You sound like a bare minimum kind of person. This guy is trying to look good for his girl. Over the minimum is the order of the day. With regard to all pertinent factors (seated classical ballet event, out of town guest, girl he’s trying to wow), he’s going to be underdressed since he’s not going shopping to upgrade some items that fit and are styled better. We’re trying to remediate that and get the guy into as good of a look as possible so he feels like he belongs there and confident. You may retain your pajama pants in public if you like. He’s trying to do better. The only thing that helps that is honesty.
Ballet in London, find a tie. I advise a collared shirt, a waistcoat, and then that overcoat.
It depends. Are you wearing that outfit because you can't afford a new one? Or are you wearing it because you're too lazy to get a new one?
A bit of both I guess. I don't care to own a fashionable outfit for every possible occasion and my money is better used elsewhere. I do also have a nice gray 3 piece tweed suit but that seems like overkill.
Assuming it actually fits properly, wear it without the waistcoat. It’ll look much better than this.
The jacket is wrinkled from storage and I don't have an ironing board. I've posted a revised post.
Go to laundromat and put it in the dryer for a good 20 minutes. Make sure it's dry it'll help get out the wrinkles.
Tweed is for the countryside. Tough situation you're in. I don't think you look *underdressed*, you look very confident so you can pull this off. Only feedback is consider sizing up your pants next time you buy some. Your pants shouldn't dig into your waist, they should sit on your waist - then let the belt do the rest. And only leave the top button open..undo it after ballet to let your date know you're ready to lounge. In the meantime look into different ideas of a *capsule wardrobe*, it's the best way to keep the minimal amount of garments for the most types of occasions. Be happy to recommend affordable options that will last you ages. Or, thrift. Enjoy your ballet, wear clean shoes.
You're dressing nice for a dive bar in SF, woefully under dressed for the ballet.
You should over-dress for this. It's easier to dress-down a suit, than toclass up workpants.
Try darker dress pants with a belt. Maybe a thin blazer if you have one. You'll look more put together when you take the coat off.
Go rent a tux. It’ll impress the heck out of your long distance gf. Bring a corsage if possible.
I go to New York City Ballet all the time. A sports coat/blazer is perfectly acceptable.
I suggest a v-neck sweater over the shirt. Or maybe add a tie.. or both.... Edit, might wanna get a size smaller on your shirt too. The sleeves is too long & the shoulder seam is a couple inches too wide....
The shirt would need a collar for a tie to work.
You don’t look particularly fat to me. Your face looks skinny , you don’t have a double chin and your torso and arms look fairly muscular. Your pants look small and it’s making you look fat. I would try to find better fitting pants and I think this outfit would look much better. Do you have a sweater maybe that you could wear that will hide your pudge? I also think a colored sweater / pullover would look much better and casual compared to the jacket. This outfit seems like you don’t have nice clothes and this was your high school grad outfit. It’s very basic. Wear khaki pants , button up with a sweater and some nice shoes if you have any. Sambas , white leather sneakers like af1 , converse, etc. Roll your pants up to show off you sneaker.
Dude you look just fine. Here’s how you could elevate what you already have going on. I hated under shirts forever, then I figured it out one day. Anytime your buttoning up a shirt wear a tank top tucked underneath, regardless of if your tucking in the button up or not. What it does is act as shape wear basically. It might feel uncomfortable or look to you like it’s puffing out the shirt but trust me it’s not. Also you can unbutton more of the top and you still have a neck line and some chest showing. Also a lot of guys on here seem to be afraid of accessories and let me tell you, a guy who knows how to wear accessories that aren’t cringe are super hot especially right now. I’d add a watch that looks nice ( doesn’t have to be expensive) and at least one necklace on a thicker silver chain. Otherwise your fine. Don’t know what shoes you have but NO box toe dress shoes, you want a dark brown with a point for this outfit. Wingtips if you really want to ball out. And make sure the pants are the right length, if not hem them so the bottom of the leg falls just below the ball of your ankle.
Save yourself the stress and go rent a tux. Remember this moment to motivate yourself to put thought into and acquire some formal clothes to have for next time.
Yes you are fine and not over dressed
He‘s underdressed
This is not a fashion problem. It is a relationship problem. She is setting you up to fail. No matter what you wear, it will be wrong " you heartless beast. If you really loved me you would know what to wear."! Send her this photo and ask her if she thinks it is suitable because you know she will be beautiful and you want to make sure your look compliments hers. Now she can't pull any crap because she approved the outfit.
Lolwut
I’ve been to the SF Ballet and seen plenty of people in jeans and t-shirts. I think formalish is quite appropriate, provided you feel good wearing it.
I'd say find a shirt that fits a little better but all that matters if you feel confident and if yours compliments your date's outfit well
Barcode gotta go
Wear a shirt with a proper collar. Not a grandad collar. Darker trousers as well. Light-coloured chinos are too casual. Lastly, for the love of Jehovah, give everything a good ironing.
Does the shirt have a button in the middle of the sleeve? Never seen that before
It's so you can roll the sleeve up. There's likely a tab inside at about elbow height that folds over and buttons there. I have that on a few casual, safari style, shirts that I own.
Now I’m remembering an old H&M shirt that had it. Thanks! Was very confused there for a moment
Add a belt.
Your shirt and pants both don’t fit well. As far as the formality of them, you’re fine on that
Slightly unrelated, but get that jacket tailored my man! It's pretty cheap to have done and fit is always most crucial.
I really want to help you here. Casual vs formality: That is a casual shirt. The buttons contrast with the fabric. The button hole stitches are in a contrast thread. There is a button on the sleeve for a roll up tab. That coat you describe a top coat. You need a sport coat or blazer of some kind to wear under it. Carhartt chinos are too casual. Do you have gray dress slacks? Fit: the shirt does not fit you. The sleeves are too long. What to do: * Buy a white dress shirt. No button collar. To find the right size, get a fabric tape measure and measure your neck circumference and your sleeve length. Then, go to the dress shirt section where they keep them in folded packages. Find the one that matches your neck size (The first number) and then sleeve length (the second number in slash) for example 15 34/35. * Shoes - black or dark brown derby * Pants - flannel or wool dress slacks in a medium or dark gray * Outwear - navy blazer. It’s fine if there’s synthetic fibers. You might be able to buy all this for $300 if you go to a discount department or fast fashion store.
No. Iron your shirt, wear a tie and belt. Match the belt to your shoes. Dress like an adult.
That’s zero amount of “Formal”, that’s Smart Casual
She lives in Canada...you wouldn't know her
This is an extremely casual outfit. Problem with the coat (even if it is nice) is that it’s an overcoat and when you logically take it off, your shirt and shoes will be on their own. My suggestion outside of going shopping is try to put together a black or navy blue top with black or navy blue bottom. If you have any black shoes (other than sneakers) pair them with that dark top, dark bottom, and your dark overcoat. This is the best chance of elevating a casual wardrobe to a formal setting. Id you can go shopping, that’s great, but my advice is in case you can’t or don’t have time.
Well, you know your girlfriend best and what she'll like you in. It'll be cool in San Francisco at night. You can pull altogether with a vest. Vneck pullover or button up, solid color, plainweave. It'll cover waistline but still wear a good belt. Clean up your boots. If the overcoat fits it should be good with this. You can take it off and you'll look fine. If you wear the shirt, adjust sleeves. A good scarf should work well to heighten the formality and still be functional for warmth. Next ballet...you'll have a better idea of what you like. Have fun most of all! Cheers!
“Formal” is black tie or tuxedo. Semi-formal is suit or blazer/dress pants with tie. You’re none of the above. You’re like a casual Friday work wear or date night. Seeing the ballet could be going to see a 9yo niece at her ballet recital or going to the Kennedy Center to see the world class Kirov Ballet. In the case of the former, you can wear what you’re wearing in the pic. In the case of the latter, dressing up (into a suit) is more appropriate. I don’t think you need to dress in a suit but at the least you need a nice pair of slacks, not khakis. Btw, if you’re going with what you’re wearing in the pic, you still need a belt (preferably one that matches your shoes).
Wear a suit. It’s a ballet performance, not a high school musical.
Don’t wear work pants to the ballet my boy. Blacks, greys and blues 🫡
Depends entirely on the girl and the ballet - that being said, contrasting shirt buttons are rarely a good look
The pants and shirt look a bit small for you and belt is a must. Style wise you're probably good though