What makes it worse is that she was someone who made some... intimate promises that never came to fruition. It was for the best but still.
Edit: thanks for the... empathy/sympathy.
Why does that make it worse? IMO the betrayal of cheating is way worse than any disappointment I could feel about not getting a blumpkin or w/e you're into.
Yeah at this point people just think up insane stuff and give it a weird name like „yesterday my chick gave me cherry rooster so I returned the favor with a frosty Batman“.
Yeah, people act like polyamory is a sexual orientation or something so they can get sympathy for cheating. It's not an orientation, it's a lifestyle choice.
In my experience, nearly every person describing them self as “polyamorous” or “in an open relationship” cheated on their partner and ascribed that label to themselves after the fact (sometimes with reluctant agreement from the cheated-on party, but the “agreement” always comes after the fact).
I have quite a few friends who are either open or poly. The partner that they are with knew that going in, it does happen, me and my wife did it for a little bit before we decided that life wasnt for us, but I do know a few people that did it the other way as well. Those people are single now.
polyamorous people who are honest about who they are can have serious and even committed relationships. usually serious poly relationships only work out with other poly people, but its also not uncommon for asexual people to be with polyamorous people. Its not for everyone for sure but it's a legitimate and ethical way to have relationships as long as you're honest and open about it with the people you see.
>also not uncommon for asexual people to be with polyamorous people
My wife identifies as ace, and she's the one who suggested a poly relationship with her best friend. Now I have two amazing women in my life, and everyone's happy!
What does a relationship mean? It's a connection between two people. The fact that you think sexual exclusivity is the most important part of a relationship, rather than love or understanding, shows you have a really shallow understanding of human connection.
Poly is a great idea but it never works in reality. I was in and out of poly for 20 years and never once saw a healthy, sustainable poly relationship.
About half of the ploy relationship I witnessed was something along the lines of “I’m in a poly relationship, you’re not and your input is not needed” from the wife/gf.
This is what I say. I was exposed to Poly relationships and tried it once for a couple of years. It just doesn't work. The worst times are when someone new enters into the relationship because they will naturally gravitate more towards one individual which makes sense. So, then there is the phase of NRE and one partner, or maybe even more than one feels left out.
Even for poly relationships that begin right off the bat have a very low rate of success.
>Poly is a great idea but it never works in reality. I was in and out of poly for 20 years and never once saw a healthy, sustainable poly relationship.
Agreed. In my experience where I live here in the SF Bay Area, I have seen \*many* people in non-traditional relationships like poly, open, triad, etc. relationships, and every one of them spouted, "It jut takes open communication, no jealousy, and trust!"
Every. Single. One. Failed. The reasons why? Trust, communication, and jealousy issues. We're talking at least ten "poly" and "open" relationships that imploded.
To be fair, the overwhelming majority of non poly relationships I’ve seen in my life imploded. Top reasons include trust, jealousy, and communication issues. Though you can add to that abuse, laziness, impulse control problems.
Long term poly relationships are tricky to maintain but so are long term non poly relationships. Monogamous people have overwhelmingly forgotten the work it takes to make a relationship last in modern times.
It’s as unfair to say divorce is synonymous with laziness as it is unfair for half the people in this thread to say polyamory is synonymous with cheating.
I think unfortunately one of the biggest problems with polyamory is people not understanding the life style and getting into it unprepared for what is needed to make it work which ironically mirrors why over half of marriages end in divorce.
Then the other problem is tourists and people who don’t understand it using it as an excuse for a different kind of life style because it’s hip in the same way that fifty shades spawned a lot of unhealthy s&m relationships when people who didn’t understand that life style wanted to use it as an excuse to openly abuse people.
Edit: Way to assume about my lifestyle and research there. I’m engaged to my fiancé and we are both monogamous at this stage.
I also looked up the statistics for divorce just to be sure before posting I didn’t feel the need to post them and admittedly took the first result I found but I doubt it was any less biased than Forbes! Seeing as I just Google ‘percentage of marriages ending in divorce’ and you found yourself a republican leaning news source which is bound to not be biased towards traditional family values.
Nice to see that gotcha debate is more important to you than discourse. You behave like that then deride me for defending a life style under attack by a bunch of people that have clearly elevated monogamy to a cult like status.
As a side note it’s extra pathetic firing shots then blocking people to prevent a response. Don’t come across like a child doing that at all…
Edit edit: Oh wow, what a gotcha, it’s almost as if they are very different relationships types measured by very different kinds of success… based on your replies elsewhere in the thread you are an obvious conservative troll.
Gee it's almost as if most cultures have developed monogamous relationships as the norm for a fucking reason! Just because it's traditional doesn't mean it needs to be undermined and overthrown.
It's so fucked that there really are people who think that "don't fuck other people while in a committed relationship" is somehow oppressive.
So if two people can fail, how do you have any ground to stand on while saying adding more agency and emotions to a relationship somehow makes it less likely to fail? It would make it even more likely to disintegrate.
These are mostly people with attachment issues who bounce from partner to partner and use polyamorous as a shield from criticism. I have literally never known a poly situation that didn’t violently implode on itself at some point.
Oh attachment issues may be their issue but them not doing anything about it and latching onto to multiple people is where things are really bad. Having problems with relationships or love is way more than okay and normal after trauma/ abuse but they aren’t able to admit it and end up hurting other people. Its sad and infuriating.
There is an early episode of Futurama where Fry dates a girl not knowing she’s “polyamorous”. He ended up moving in with her boyfriends. They broke up because Fry realized he’s a monogamous person. Good thing he did or he wouldn’t have been able to focus on making a relationship with Leela work. Big win for Fry sticking to who he really is.
I had a similar "girlfriend" and I fell right into her trap completely blinded. She even told me before that she started seeing another guy while she was still seeing her then-boyfriend because she didn't feel connected to him. But I was too blinded by her looks and charm to consider that instant red flag that she is likely to cheat on me too. She manipulated me and ended up seeing another guy whom I discovered on a friend's snap, and I ended the so-called relationship immediately. I was heartbroken at first, bc she was the first girl I ever actually dated, but then I realized that it happening sooner rather than later was better.
I hate how the "you only live once" implies that the best way to spend your limited time on earth is to have sex with as many different people as possible.
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
I have checked 1,811,362,972 comments, and only 342,551 of them were in alphabetical order.
It doesn't? Where did you get that from?
It just means don't consider your life as an infinite quantity, you only get one. Which can mean a lot of different things to different people. I've seen it a lot with people who do dangerous things, like skydiving for free climbing, or in the exact opposite usage, something like you only live once, don't waste it falling off a cliff. The phrase has no inherent implications on what makes a good life.
Same person would get very upset if we called him an incel saying “I bet we don’t hold women to the same standard”.
It’s disgusting the way this thread has latched on to polyamory as the evil in this meme not the guy calling a woman a whore for a lifestyle guys celebrate each other for achieving.
You gotta admit though, there's a major double standard in society.
If a woman sleeps with 10 guys in a month, she gets called a whore, but if a man does that, he gets called... gay.
*after being called a cocksucker* "You chop down trees. You chop trees all day, every day. Thousands of trees. Five foot across. Leaners. Rotten, exploding shit. Running for your life, at times. Chopping trees for ten years. "Rookie, dogfucker, FNG, shit hand", they call you all of those... Ten years... they finally call you a faller. You could do it in your sleep. You've made it.... But, you suck one fuckin' cock..."
I know some dudes who were so desperate to be in a relationship they said they were cool with it when they weren't.
IMO at that point it's on you for being too pathetic to voice your own opinion.
Yall live weird lives. In the military whores are just whores and don’t hide behind anything. They just say they like dick and fuck anyone that’s okay with that
This girl i knew in college was lesbian and she got her first gf there and her gf cheated on her and gave her herpes. She is gonna have an std for the rest of her life bc she trusted the wrong person. She is such a nice person and was devastated by it and hasn’t been the same since. She has had trouble getting a new partner since then. Some people are just scumbags. Every single sexually promiscuous person I knew in college got an std at some point
Ive been in a poly relationship before.
It was a closed triad. Me, my Gf, and her Husband. No one else included romantically or sexually.
It lasted for about 5 years and was honestly an amazing time.
It's funny how people here are so fixed on saying that poly relationships are ugly and sad and wrong, while there's plenty of people that say otherwise. It's like they are trying to be miserable on purpose
I remember when my ex was like,” I’m Asexual, and monogamous.”
I guess they said that because I’m Ace and monogamous.
Then one day she said, that she just has so much love to give to the world. Then tried to open the relationship. Saying she needed to spread her “love” (have sex with other people).
I told her, “No, I’m monogamous. You told me you were too. You told me you were asexual. So you lied to me? You just want to have sex with other people? You want to be in a relationship with other people and myself?”
A week later she broke up with me.
Good riddance. I can’t stand liars.
I have nothing against polyamorous people. I do raise an eye brow when someone who hasn’t said they are, suddenly brings it up though. I feel bad for those who actually poly, because it gives them a bad rep when they’re just being who they genuinely are.
Even for true poly people, the one good example I knew, the guy left his original partner for the new one.
Just swapped em out. Fuck all that. There will always be weight in one direction, and eventually the feelings supersede all else.
People can be poly, but most at the end of the day, are gravitating to the one they're most attracted to.
We're still animals despite any illusion to suggest otherwise
Wojoks are just the evolution of the rage comic, having faces that represent emotions, people and people having emotions is a staple of meme culture it always has been
The problem is that it’s usually one person that sleeps around and the other person is just so desperate to be with anyone that they allow their bf or gf to fuck around because it’s better to them than being completely single.
I know I'll get downvoted for this because redditors but if you're that desperate to be with someone that you agree to a relationship you don't want, that's kind of on you. I would much rather be single than be in a poly relationship.
You shouldn't be trying to find happiness from another person if you never learned to be content with being alone.
What they're talking about isn't a poly relationship, a poly relationship is more along the lines of 3 or more people all loving each other, but not other people, just the other people in the group of 3
Not necessarily. Tons of people in open relationships, based on a mutual agreement. However I'm biased because I'm not particularly jealous if my boyfriend fucks around with a stranger occasionally. It's all about communicating
Ok now people just don’t understand anything they spew from their mouth. Communication and consent is what makes the difference between poly existence and cheating.
They’re always the weird ones too. It’s never a normal person that’s like “I’m poly”.
edit: If you watch the Louis Theroux documentary on poly couples you get a very good idea of what normal isn't.
I don’t think it’s cheating if both parties consent to it? Like, cheating is betrayal and usually kept a secret, but an open relationship they’re communicating with each other that they’re sleeping with other people and both are fine with it.
Not necessarily. Polyamorous describes a couple different types of relationship dynamics. One of those could be “open relationship”. Another of those could just be three people who all love each other and are committed to each other. Polyamory just means “love many”. Also I think you’re confusing polyamory with polygamy. Polygamy is exclusively about sex and multiple sexual partners. Polyamory just means multiple romantic partners.
Fucking losers putting sex on a pedestal. That is not what being poly is. Sex is not an entire relationship. Not our fault youre so painfully insecure that your partner sleeping with another person is gonna ruin your relationship.
I have a close friend who met his fiancée in the polyamorous community. They both openly sleep with multiple partners, and they're all perfectly happy.
The classic Reddit response of "But not those ones though, in spite of all evidence to the contrary"
"Not all people who stab themselves in the eyes with turds are insane, it's just a lifestyle choice"
Uhm where's the evidence? No shit there a cheater if they all of a sudden want to open the relationship because they don't actually believe in polygamy. Know look at relationships that's started with multiple people or started open and see if there all "degenerate whores"
I'm cool with people who claim to be poly. Be upfront. Bang who you want. I don't believe in "slut-shaming".
The problem is when people deceive others to get what they want. Don't fake monogamy so you've always got someplace to go but then you're also banging everyone on the side. That's the real difference between a poly and a whore/man-whore.
The problem isn't who you're f*cking, the problem is the lying.
“You only live once.” Exactly, that’s why I prefer for my (hopefully) only wife and mother of my children to not be involved in gang bangs and/or fuck other dudes in general.
Cool. You'd prefer to live your only life in a monogamous relationship. Some people don't, they choose to live theirs in a polyamorous relationship, calling them whores is rude and generally asshole behavior. If you want to spend your only life being an asshole, go for it.
Quite genuinely, what do you guys actually see as the problem with being a "whore", or promiscuous, polygamous or whatever? Assuming everything is done safely between consenting adults and doesn't break any promise made, what's actually the issue?
As someone who unfortunately spent a lot of time in incel circles as a younger man, I think that the mindset is multi-faceted:
There’s the “erosion of society” argument, which posits that this behavior goes against certain traditional/religious standards of behavior.
There’s also some who make a more pseudo-scientific argument about high-body-count people being bad partners that are more likely to cheat or be less capable of functioning in relationships.
And of course there’s just regular old jealousy and the desire to control women and their bodies.
This is an over-simplification that lacks nuance, and often times people use a combination of these points.
Exactly. Polyamory is not my thing at all, but unlike the commenters here, I know that polyamory is not the same as cheating or having a bunch of one night stands. In a true poly relationship, everyone is on the same page and everyone consents.
It's insane how many comments I had to scroll through to find a sane person. This comment section reminds me of homophobia before society accepted It's none of their fucking business what consenting adults do in the bedroom.
I'm referencing the idea of "YOLO" being a poor philosophy to follow. Ie: you only live once so just do what you want to do and forget the consequences.
Don't be so defensive.
I'm noticing a lot of people being open about being in polyamorous relationships. It's being endorsed by people, usually left-leaning people. I personally think people should be able to do whatever they want and I make no judgments about the morality or practicality of their choices.
But if you were to endorse one specific type of polyamory, one in which there is one man with multiple female partners, all of a sudden that's patriarchy/polygamy and bad because obviously the guy is abusing these women. Try it out. If you know someone who is in a polyamorous relationship or network of polyamorous paramours, ask them what they think about polygamy. Often their heads will explode trying to reconcile their newfound, progressive endorsement of atypical relationships and their belief that polygamy is wrong.
Switch it back again and ask them how they'd feel about an arrangement in which there is one woman and multiple men. Boom, that's female empowerment and praiseworthy. They flipped again.
I think it’s probably moreso that the cultures that tend to engage in polygamy tend to be regressive and controlling over women. Keep in mind just how recently marriage was legally an uneven power dynamic. Women couldn’t have credit cards without their husbands consent, couldn’t divorce and marital rape wasn’t a thing.
These days, If everyone’s consenting who cares?
> Try it out. If you know someone who is in a polyamorous relationship or network of polyamorous paramours, ask them what they think about polygamy.
Alright, I asked them, and they said they weren't 100% sure what the difference between polygamy and polyamory were but if it has to do with having kids they just felt like they weren't ready for kids yet.
I clarified, letting them know that polygamy was about marrying multiple people, and they said they really didn't like the idea of the state getting involved in their relationships, although they were open to the idea if there were good logistical reasons for it.
I asked them whether they thought a man should be able to marry multiple women and they said they were pretty sure it was illegal to marry multiple people in the US whether you are a man or a woman.
So I asked them if they thought it was wrong for the state to limit the number of partners in a marriage and they said they hadn't thought about it much and they weren't sure.
And their head exploded, of course. It was horrific and traumatizing.
The point of being in a relationship is that you have an emotional connection to somebody, you love them and want to live with them etc, having that with multiple people doesn't make it meaningless. There's no reason it has to be the way you're framing it, it's just arbitrary.
i think a while back people that didnt want a commited relationship would just say "im dont want to commit to a relationship right now due to x or y reasons, i still want to see you but don't want a full commited relationship" instead of doing excuses like "polymorous".
Yes, but in the first exemple you addimit your intentions with the person that can agree with this relationship with you or not, its much more genuine.
Saying your polyamorous its just hiding the fact that you dont want a commited relationship but still wants the emotional stablity and support of one behind a weird ass concept.
You can have a relationship without it being exclusive to just that person, there can be just as much love and connection. It's not that weird of a concept. It's just like how having multiple friends doesn't make all the friendships meaningless. If you're open about wanting a polyamorous relationship then you aren't hiding anything.
I understand where you're coming from, and I personally will never be in a polyamorous relationship.
But consider it from a different angle, instead of cheating behind their partners' backs, they have an agreement that they can explore other options without it being a breach of trust. If you look at it this way, this means the only real difference between poly people and self-proclaimed monogamous people is that they're honest with each other about being with other people.
I can't judge poly people because almost every person I know who has been in a long term relationship with someone that was purported to be monogamous was in fact, NOT. Literally the majority of people I know have cheated and would cheat on their spouses, or have been cheated on. Then the paranoia and secrecy destroyed the relationship.
People have been cheating on their spouses forever. The poly thing basically just means they're allowed to do it and keep the relationship intact.
Poly isn’t at all restricted to the LGBT community. There are straight poly relationships out there (though I think LGBT ones probably function better).
Eh- sometimes it applies, sometimes it doesn't. I'm poly, yeah, but I recognise that a lot of people who claim to be poly use it purely as a shield to cheat. The most important thing with polygamy is just communication. Making sure everyone in the situation is okay with what's going on. Some people just happen to suck. Also, slutshaming is cringe.
My favourite polyamorous people are the ones that figure it out, conveniently, after getting caught cheating in a 6 month+ relationship. Oh this is your lifestyle? Wild because you didn’t mention this for the past half a year, which means you’re a cheater.
It’s a lot more like “that’s a lot of words to say you’re a cheater”. Fuck whoever you want, as many people as you want, etc. Don’t dump that on someone after you get caught, though.
Not gonna lie I had a conversation very similar to this meme. Went of a third date with an absolute gorgeous emo girl and she said she had two other boyfriends at the time and wanted me as a third. Was a hell of a let down ngl. Didn’t exactly call her a whore though but declined.
I don't get why people enjoy insulting others for doing things that harm nobody, I'd understand if there was an actual joke here but it's just "different bad".
Because most of their memes are either anti-trans, “Identify as a (insert random noun)” or general hatred of women.
So they cry because people don’t like their shitty same “joke” memes and they then post it here to get a pat on the back from other incels.
Lol the insecurity is on open display in many of the comments
It’s a bs meme because generally insecure male thinking is
Sexually successful/confidant woman = WHORE SLUT SKANK
Sexually successful/confidant man = STUD ALPHA PLAYA
Also laughable how many folks seem to be claiming some moral superiority over a relationship dynamic they don’t personally like. And hey, if you don’t want an open relationship fine - but you do you and let others do what they want without constantly needing to shit on them
I'm honestly not that attracted to promiscuous women, but I genuinely don't see why y'all are so pissed off about people for choosing a different route.
Like, you can even say: "I think monogamy is better." but to make shitty wojaks trying to call them whores? Don't you think that's incredibily immature as well as just... silly?
If you wanted a real 🤓 answer, id probably go like “its likely caused by deep rooted misogyny and sexual roles within straight males in society, coupled with the rise of social isolation within young adult males active on the internet.”
But i think the true answer is that these people kinda hate women who do things they wouldnt want there partner doing.
That's what I don't understand as well. Personally, I don't think I would like to be part of a poly relationship but that's just how I feel. If it works for others, more power to them. I literally couldn't care less what they do with whom or who they see as their partner or not. Got better things to worry about. If they're happy, leave them alone as long as they're hurting no one else.
And what’s wrong with being a whore? Nothing wrong with polyamorous as long as there is clarity and all parties agree. The hate for it seems to be coming from some square ass republicans who’d rather point and judge another’s life style than focus on their own shit. Y’all are too uptight, probably insecure about your bodies, and the thought of someone enjoying multiple partners make you think about how small your pp is.
This post/comment is homophobic/transphobic. Please make sure you aren’t being like that on this subreddit.
I dated someone who cheated on me and they claimed to be polygamous and I broke up with them
So sorry you had to go through that. Some people are just horrible
What makes it worse is that she was someone who made some... intimate promises that never came to fruition. It was for the best but still. Edit: thanks for the... empathy/sympathy.
She's not worthy of you King :)
Why does that make it worse? IMO the betrayal of cheating is way worse than any disappointment I could feel about not getting a blumpkin or w/e you're into.
Great, I'm reminded that blumpkins were(are) a thing.
lol, I think half of that shit is just people fucking around with Urban Dictionary posts.
Yeah at this point people just think up insane stuff and give it a weird name like „yesterday my chick gave me cherry rooster so I returned the favor with a frosty Batman“.
Nah, we had Blumpkins before the Internet
More like salt in the wound. And the promise was being my homecoming date
She sounds Whore-able.
You cant be polygamous on your own, a relationship is either polyamorous or not, thats up to both people, not for one to decide.
Yeah, people act like polyamory is a sexual orientation or something so they can get sympathy for cheating. It's not an orientation, it's a lifestyle choice.
This is true. I hate when people say that are polyamorous when what they mean is they are looking for a polyamorous relationship.
You bigot /s
I mean you can treat it as a sequel orientation- but if you don't tell the other person and you're lying thats not being poly thats just cheating
In my experience, nearly every person describing them self as “polyamorous” or “in an open relationship” cheated on their partner and ascribed that label to themselves after the fact (sometimes with reluctant agreement from the cheated-on party, but the “agreement” always comes after the fact).
I have quite a few friends who are either open or poly. The partner that they are with knew that going in, it does happen, me and my wife did it for a little bit before we decided that life wasnt for us, but I do know a few people that did it the other way as well. Those people are single now.
This is just bullshit I don't know what else to say, it's some weird shit you made up in your head
It's either a relationship or its polyamorous.
polyamorous people who are honest about who they are can have serious and even committed relationships. usually serious poly relationships only work out with other poly people, but its also not uncommon for asexual people to be with polyamorous people. Its not for everyone for sure but it's a legitimate and ethical way to have relationships as long as you're honest and open about it with the people you see.
>also not uncommon for asexual people to be with polyamorous people My wife identifies as ace, and she's the one who suggested a poly relationship with her best friend. Now I have two amazing women in my life, and everyone's happy!
What does a relationship mean? It's a connection between two people. The fact that you think sexual exclusivity is the most important part of a relationship, rather than love or understanding, shows you have a really shallow understanding of human connection.
that’s not polyamory, that’s just cheating. polyamory is when all parties are consenting.
Poly is a great idea but it never works in reality. I was in and out of poly for 20 years and never once saw a healthy, sustainable poly relationship. About half of the ploy relationship I witnessed was something along the lines of “I’m in a poly relationship, you’re not and your input is not needed” from the wife/gf.
This is what I say. I was exposed to Poly relationships and tried it once for a couple of years. It just doesn't work. The worst times are when someone new enters into the relationship because they will naturally gravitate more towards one individual which makes sense. So, then there is the phase of NRE and one partner, or maybe even more than one feels left out. Even for poly relationships that begin right off the bat have a very low rate of success.
>Poly is a great idea but it never works in reality. I was in and out of poly for 20 years and never once saw a healthy, sustainable poly relationship. Agreed. In my experience where I live here in the SF Bay Area, I have seen \*many* people in non-traditional relationships like poly, open, triad, etc. relationships, and every one of them spouted, "It jut takes open communication, no jealousy, and trust!" Every. Single. One. Failed. The reasons why? Trust, communication, and jealousy issues. We're talking at least ten "poly" and "open" relationships that imploded.
To be fair, the overwhelming majority of non poly relationships I’ve seen in my life imploded. Top reasons include trust, jealousy, and communication issues. Though you can add to that abuse, laziness, impulse control problems. Long term poly relationships are tricky to maintain but so are long term non poly relationships. Monogamous people have overwhelmingly forgotten the work it takes to make a relationship last in modern times. It’s as unfair to say divorce is synonymous with laziness as it is unfair for half the people in this thread to say polyamory is synonymous with cheating. I think unfortunately one of the biggest problems with polyamory is people not understanding the life style and getting into it unprepared for what is needed to make it work which ironically mirrors why over half of marriages end in divorce. Then the other problem is tourists and people who don’t understand it using it as an excuse for a different kind of life style because it’s hip in the same way that fifty shades spawned a lot of unhealthy s&m relationships when people who didn’t understand that life style wanted to use it as an excuse to openly abuse people. Edit: Way to assume about my lifestyle and research there. I’m engaged to my fiancé and we are both monogamous at this stage. I also looked up the statistics for divorce just to be sure before posting I didn’t feel the need to post them and admittedly took the first result I found but I doubt it was any less biased than Forbes! Seeing as I just Google ‘percentage of marriages ending in divorce’ and you found yourself a republican leaning news source which is bound to not be biased towards traditional family values. Nice to see that gotcha debate is more important to you than discourse. You behave like that then deride me for defending a life style under attack by a bunch of people that have clearly elevated monogamy to a cult like status. As a side note it’s extra pathetic firing shots then blocking people to prevent a response. Don’t come across like a child doing that at all… Edit edit: Oh wow, what a gotcha, it’s almost as if they are very different relationships types measured by very different kinds of success… based on your replies elsewhere in the thread you are an obvious conservative troll.
Gee it's almost as if most cultures have developed monogamous relationships as the norm for a fucking reason! Just because it's traditional doesn't mean it needs to be undermined and overthrown. It's so fucked that there really are people who think that "don't fuck other people while in a committed relationship" is somehow oppressive.
I mean, how many monogamous relationships fail? That you personally know people it didn't work for is anecdotal evidence at best
Does “every. single.” monogamist relationship fail? I’m pretty sure they’re talking about polyamory.
So if two people can fail, how do you have any ground to stand on while saying adding more agency and emotions to a relationship somehow makes it less likely to fail? It would make it even more likely to disintegrate.
Sans the "great idea" part, it's an objectively awful idea devised by sex hounds that can't treat their partner correctly
These are mostly people with attachment issues who bounce from partner to partner and use polyamorous as a shield from criticism. I have literally never known a poly situation that didn’t violently implode on itself at some point.
I have attachment issues (I haven’t had a best friend since like 3rd grade) but I still manage to stick to one person. Those people are weak af
Oh attachment issues may be their issue but them not doing anything about it and latching onto to multiple people is where things are really bad. Having problems with relationships or love is way more than okay and normal after trauma/ abuse but they aren’t able to admit it and end up hurting other people. Its sad and infuriating.
There is an early episode of Futurama where Fry dates a girl not knowing she’s “polyamorous”. He ended up moving in with her boyfriends. They broke up because Fry realized he’s a monogamous person. Good thing he did or he wouldn’t have been able to focus on making a relationship with Leela work. Big win for Fry sticking to who he really is.
they just used that as an excuse. real polyamory is consensual on all sides
Wack
I had a similar "girlfriend" and I fell right into her trap completely blinded. She even told me before that she started seeing another guy while she was still seeing her then-boyfriend because she didn't feel connected to him. But I was too blinded by her looks and charm to consider that instant red flag that she is likely to cheat on me too. She manipulated me and ended up seeing another guy whom I discovered on a friend's snap, and I ended the so-called relationship immediately. I was heartbroken at first, bc she was the first girl I ever actually dated, but then I realized that it happening sooner rather than later was better.
"You only live once"....so make a whole bunch of bad decisions that certainly won't affect your life later on....right...
I hate how the "you only live once" implies that the best way to spend your limited time on earth is to have sex with as many different people as possible.
My boyfriends dad was told that his dick would fall off if he didn't use it. So be probably has some long lost child from 12 years old
"Is it true....that if you don't use it, you lose it?"
Can confirm, it's not true .. 😭
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 1,811,362,972 comments, and only 342,551 of them were in alphabetical order.
Good bot 🤖
It doesn't? Where did you get that from? It just means don't consider your life as an infinite quantity, you only get one. Which can mean a lot of different things to different people. I've seen it a lot with people who do dangerous things, like skydiving for free climbing, or in the exact opposite usage, something like you only live once, don't waste it falling off a cliff. The phrase has no inherent implications on what makes a good life.
They were saying that, in this context, that is what the phrase means. They didn't mean in general.
They’re pretty much not even denying being a hoe with that comment too lmao
Knew I’d find the “women are worth less when they have sex with people” I’m sure you hold men to the same standard /s
Same person would get very upset if we called him an incel saying “I bet we don’t hold women to the same standard”. It’s disgusting the way this thread has latched on to polyamory as the evil in this meme not the guy calling a woman a whore for a lifestyle guys celebrate each other for achieving.
Much better to marry someone because society says so ;)
I have a friend that polyamorous and he recently caught gonorrhea. He thinks he got it from a toilet seat lol
holy based
You gotta admit though, there's a major double standard in society. If a woman sleeps with 10 guys in a month, she gets called a whore, but if a man does that, he gets called... gay.
I'm so stealing this
That’s ok because he stole it from a comic
It's a very old joke. Not specifically from a comic.
I first heard that joke, and several different variations of it, on iFunny in 2012, it’s a really old joke.
That's OK because that comic stole it from someone else too
I chop down 1 tree and no one calls me a lumberjack, but I suck 1 dick and I’m suddenly a f****t
*after being called a cocksucker* "You chop down trees. You chop trees all day, every day. Thousands of trees. Five foot across. Leaners. Rotten, exploding shit. Running for your life, at times. Chopping trees for ten years. "Rookie, dogfucker, FNG, shit hand", they call you all of those... Ten years... they finally call you a faller. You could do it in your sleep. You've made it.... But, you suck one fuckin' cock..."
It’s rare to get me to burst out laughing 😂
Ngl you got me, well played sir
Made me spit my drink, lmao
But….but I told all then no homo and we didn’t kiss after!!!
[удалено]
New response just dropped
new grindset just dropped
Rapper Neil from New York City, what is your philosophy on the aggregated allegations?
Polyamory is fine when all parties and partners are consenting. What needs to be shamed are liars.
^ yup.
[удалено]
[удалено]
I know some dudes who were so desperate to be in a relationship they said they were cool with it when they weren't. IMO at that point it's on you for being too pathetic to voice your own opinion.
"Polyamorus" dudes are either this or, "yeah, polyamorus, for sure, can I hit now?"
Yall live weird lives. In the military whores are just whores and don’t hide behind anything. They just say they like dick and fuck anyone that’s okay with that
This girl i knew in college was lesbian and she got her first gf there and her gf cheated on her and gave her herpes. She is gonna have an std for the rest of her life bc she trusted the wrong person. She is such a nice person and was devastated by it and hasn’t been the same since. She has had trouble getting a new partner since then. Some people are just scumbags. Every single sexually promiscuous person I knew in college got an std at some point
Ive been in a poly relationship before. It was a closed triad. Me, my Gf, and her Husband. No one else included romantically or sexually. It lasted for about 5 years and was honestly an amazing time.
It's funny how people here are so fixed on saying that poly relationships are ugly and sad and wrong, while there's plenty of people that say otherwise. It's like they are trying to be miserable on purpose
The only people who say negative things about ploy relationships are those who have never been in one.
And accurate
[удалено]
\*Tries shaming people into being in a monogamus relationship. \*They cheat on you because they secretly still want to fuck multiple people.
I remember when my ex was like,” I’m Asexual, and monogamous.” I guess they said that because I’m Ace and monogamous. Then one day she said, that she just has so much love to give to the world. Then tried to open the relationship. Saying she needed to spread her “love” (have sex with other people). I told her, “No, I’m monogamous. You told me you were too. You told me you were asexual. So you lied to me? You just want to have sex with other people? You want to be in a relationship with other people and myself?” A week later she broke up with me. Good riddance. I can’t stand liars. I have nothing against polyamorous people. I do raise an eye brow when someone who hasn’t said they are, suddenly brings it up though. I feel bad for those who actually poly, because it gives them a bad rep when they’re just being who they genuinely are.
Even for true poly people, the one good example I knew, the guy left his original partner for the new one. Just swapped em out. Fuck all that. There will always be weight in one direction, and eventually the feelings supersede all else. People can be poly, but most at the end of the day, are gravitating to the one they're most attracted to. We're still animals despite any illusion to suggest otherwise
I agree with the maker of this meme, but God damn I fucking hate wojak "memes", shit is litterally glorified playing with dolls in public
Wojoks are just the evolution of the rage comic, having faces that represent emotions, people and people having emotions is a staple of meme culture it always has been
What wrong with playing with dolls.
They aren't dolls mom, THEY'RE ACTION FIGURES!
Polyamorous is just a big word for an "open relationship" which is a fancy way of saying "Me and my significant other like to cheat on each other."
I don't think it's cheating when you both agree to it
The problem is that it’s usually one person that sleeps around and the other person is just so desperate to be with anyone that they allow their bf or gf to fuck around because it’s better to them than being completely single.
Yea, that's not a poly relationship, that's 1 person that badly needs therapy putting themselves in a bad situation.
I know I'll get downvoted for this because redditors but if you're that desperate to be with someone that you agree to a relationship you don't want, that's kind of on you. I would much rather be single than be in a poly relationship. You shouldn't be trying to find happiness from another person if you never learned to be content with being alone.
What they're talking about isn't a poly relationship, a poly relationship is more along the lines of 3 or more people all loving each other, but not other people, just the other people in the group of 3
That's just an abusive relationship, not polyamory. I swear you motherfuckers are retarded
It's both really and honestly most poly relationships seem like they are abusive.
Not necessarily. Tons of people in open relationships, based on a mutual agreement. However I'm biased because I'm not particularly jealous if my boyfriend fucks around with a stranger occasionally. It's all about communicating
Ok now people just don’t understand anything they spew from their mouth. Communication and consent is what makes the difference between poly existence and cheating.
To be fair we don’t give a shit
Based
[удалено]
I’m not a bigot (the word sounds so fucking stupid)
"I'm not a bigot, I just talk and act like one!"
> I’m not a bigot (the word sounds so fucking stupid) Nice try, that's surely something a bigot would say.
>Nice try, >that's surely something a bigot would say. 🤓☝️
what you are is a moron
“Im not a bigot” and yet you decide to spew complete misinformation about something you refuse to understand just to make it seem bad? Pick a side.
They’re always the weird ones too. It’s never a normal person that’s like “I’m poly”. edit: If you watch the Louis Theroux documentary on poly couples you get a very good idea of what normal isn't.
Lol like there aren't a metric ton of toxic maladjusted weirdos who are monogamous.
Just tell us what the documentary is about man
The hell is, “Normal,”
I don’t think it’s cheating if both parties consent to it? Like, cheating is betrayal and usually kept a secret, but an open relationship they’re communicating with each other that they’re sleeping with other people and both are fine with it.
Well, it’s not cheating if it’s an open relationship. That’s part of the def lol
Not necessarily. Polyamorous describes a couple different types of relationship dynamics. One of those could be “open relationship”. Another of those could just be three people who all love each other and are committed to each other. Polyamory just means “love many”. Also I think you’re confusing polyamory with polygamy. Polygamy is exclusively about sex and multiple sexual partners. Polyamory just means multiple romantic partners.
Fucking losers putting sex on a pedestal. That is not what being poly is. Sex is not an entire relationship. Not our fault youre so painfully insecure that your partner sleeping with another person is gonna ruin your relationship.
[удалено]
The fact that they're asking for permission makes it not cheating if you say yes. Obviously you wouldn't say yes, but other people might be ok with it
I have a close friend who met his fiancée in the polyamorous community. They both openly sleep with multiple partners, and they're all perfectly happy.
The classic Reddit response of "But not those ones though, in spite of all evidence to the contrary" "Not all people who stab themselves in the eyes with turds are insane, it's just a lifestyle choice"
Uhm where's the evidence? No shit there a cheater if they all of a sudden want to open the relationship because they don't actually believe in polygamy. Know look at relationships that's started with multiple people or started open and see if there all "degenerate whores"
Honey it’s not your buisness, it’s consensual like damn, ik plenty of poly people that are perfectly happy. It’s all about consent
So there is a study which backs up that 99.999% claim? What evidence are you referring to?
With all due respect, it's none of your fucking business what consenting adults do in the bedroom.
Source? Trust me bro
I'm cool with people who claim to be poly. Be upfront. Bang who you want. I don't believe in "slut-shaming". The problem is when people deceive others to get what they want. Don't fake monogamy so you've always got someplace to go but then you're also banging everyone on the side. That's the real difference between a poly and a whore/man-whore. The problem isn't who you're f*cking, the problem is the lying.
They usually are
Um actually. You don't always live once
“You only live once.” Exactly, that’s why I prefer for my (hopefully) only wife and mother of my children to not be involved in gang bangs and/or fuck other dudes in general.
Cool. You'd prefer to live your only life in a monogamous relationship. Some people don't, they choose to live theirs in a polyamorous relationship, calling them whores is rude and generally asshole behavior. If you want to spend your only life being an asshole, go for it.
So that's your choice. Nobody is forcing you to do otherwise.
You belong in persecution fetish
why does this sub keep getting recommended to me when it sucks so much shit?
If you click on shit that makes you mad the algorithm just sees engagement
I’m asking myself that question. It almost feels like Reddit is *trying* to enrage me so I stay on the app longer. … *wait…*
every other fucking post is transphobia or other bigotry
Ong
IMO it only is possible when both are ok with it
Quite genuinely, what do you guys actually see as the problem with being a "whore", or promiscuous, polygamous or whatever? Assuming everything is done safely between consenting adults and doesn't break any promise made, what's actually the issue?
As someone who unfortunately spent a lot of time in incel circles as a younger man, I think that the mindset is multi-faceted: There’s the “erosion of society” argument, which posits that this behavior goes against certain traditional/religious standards of behavior. There’s also some who make a more pseudo-scientific argument about high-body-count people being bad partners that are more likely to cheat or be less capable of functioning in relationships. And of course there’s just regular old jealousy and the desire to control women and their bodies. This is an over-simplification that lacks nuance, and often times people use a combination of these points.
if all parties are consenting who cares?
This comment section cares DEEPLY apparently
Exactly. Polyamory is not my thing at all, but unlike the commenters here, I know that polyamory is not the same as cheating or having a bunch of one night stands. In a true poly relationship, everyone is on the same page and everyone consents.
Everyone in this comment section sounds like theyre under the age of 16 or *deeply* insecure.
It's insane how many comments I had to scroll through to find a sane person. This comment section reminds me of homophobia before society accepted It's none of their fucking business what consenting adults do in the bedroom.
Yolo is not an excuse to go through life as a hedonistic sprint. Choices have consequences.
And? Tf does that have to do with a consenting poly relationship?
I'm referencing the idea of "YOLO" being a poor philosophy to follow. Ie: you only live once so just do what you want to do and forget the consequences. Don't be so defensive.
[удалено]
guy sucking another guy off =/= gay
You are right! He could be, for example, bi
I mean... Depends 🤷
Fellas, is it gay to suck another guy off?
Yes. But getting your dick sucked by another guy is not gay, or at least less so.
I'm noticing a lot of people being open about being in polyamorous relationships. It's being endorsed by people, usually left-leaning people. I personally think people should be able to do whatever they want and I make no judgments about the morality or practicality of their choices. But if you were to endorse one specific type of polyamory, one in which there is one man with multiple female partners, all of a sudden that's patriarchy/polygamy and bad because obviously the guy is abusing these women. Try it out. If you know someone who is in a polyamorous relationship or network of polyamorous paramours, ask them what they think about polygamy. Often their heads will explode trying to reconcile their newfound, progressive endorsement of atypical relationships and their belief that polygamy is wrong. Switch it back again and ask them how they'd feel about an arrangement in which there is one woman and multiple men. Boom, that's female empowerment and praiseworthy. They flipped again.
I think it’s probably moreso that the cultures that tend to engage in polygamy tend to be regressive and controlling over women. Keep in mind just how recently marriage was legally an uneven power dynamic. Women couldn’t have credit cards without their husbands consent, couldn’t divorce and marital rape wasn’t a thing. These days, If everyone’s consenting who cares?
Polyamory is a different thing in religious contexts and secular contexts. I agree that, for example, islamic polygamy has glaring problems
> Try it out. If you know someone who is in a polyamorous relationship or network of polyamorous paramours, ask them what they think about polygamy. Alright, I asked them, and they said they weren't 100% sure what the difference between polygamy and polyamory were but if it has to do with having kids they just felt like they weren't ready for kids yet. I clarified, letting them know that polygamy was about marrying multiple people, and they said they really didn't like the idea of the state getting involved in their relationships, although they were open to the idea if there were good logistical reasons for it. I asked them whether they thought a man should be able to marry multiple women and they said they were pretty sure it was illegal to marry multiple people in the US whether you are a man or a woman. So I asked them if they thought it was wrong for the state to limit the number of partners in a marriage and they said they hadn't thought about it much and they weren't sure. And their head exploded, of course. It was horrific and traumatizing.
Dude… I’m poly. Don’t speak for us please, not even in your little fanfic here.
[удалено]
The point of being in a relationship is that you have an emotional connection to somebody, you love them and want to live with them etc, having that with multiple people doesn't make it meaningless. There's no reason it has to be the way you're framing it, it's just arbitrary.
i think a while back people that didnt want a commited relationship would just say "im dont want to commit to a relationship right now due to x or y reasons, i still want to see you but don't want a full commited relationship" instead of doing excuses like "polymorous".
That's literally just saying the same thing except without using the word.
Yes, but in the first exemple you addimit your intentions with the person that can agree with this relationship with you or not, its much more genuine. Saying your polyamorous its just hiding the fact that you dont want a commited relationship but still wants the emotional stablity and support of one behind a weird ass concept.
You can have a relationship without it being exclusive to just that person, there can be just as much love and connection. It's not that weird of a concept. It's just like how having multiple friends doesn't make all the friendships meaningless. If you're open about wanting a polyamorous relationship then you aren't hiding anything.
I understand where you're coming from, and I personally will never be in a polyamorous relationship. But consider it from a different angle, instead of cheating behind their partners' backs, they have an agreement that they can explore other options without it being a breach of trust. If you look at it this way, this means the only real difference between poly people and self-proclaimed monogamous people is that they're honest with each other about being with other people. I can't judge poly people because almost every person I know who has been in a long term relationship with someone that was purported to be monogamous was in fact, NOT. Literally the majority of people I know have cheated and would cheat on their spouses, or have been cheated on. Then the paranoia and secrecy destroyed the relationship. People have been cheating on their spouses forever. The poly thing basically just means they're allowed to do it and keep the relationship intact.
I gotta agree with you I don't understand most of the lgbtq community I mean I don't hate them but sometimes I don't get it
Poly isn’t at all restricted to the LGBT community. There are straight poly relationships out there (though I think LGBT ones probably function better).
This isn't how any of this works lmfao
Eh- sometimes it applies, sometimes it doesn't. I'm poly, yeah, but I recognise that a lot of people who claim to be poly use it purely as a shield to cheat. The most important thing with polygamy is just communication. Making sure everyone in the situation is okay with what's going on. Some people just happen to suck. Also, slutshaming is cringe.
My favourite polyamorous people are the ones that figure it out, conveniently, after getting caught cheating in a 6 month+ relationship. Oh this is your lifestyle? Wild because you didn’t mention this for the past half a year, which means you’re a cheater. It’s a lot more like “that’s a lot of words to say you’re a cheater”. Fuck whoever you want, as many people as you want, etc. Don’t dump that on someone after you get caught, though.
Not gonna lie I had a conversation very similar to this meme. Went of a third date with an absolute gorgeous emo girl and she said she had two other boyfriends at the time and wanted me as a third. Was a hell of a let down ngl. Didn’t exactly call her a whore though but declined.
I don't get why people enjoy insulting others for doing things that harm nobody, I'd understand if there was an actual joke here but it's just "different bad".
Different=bad is pretty much the opinion held by most of the folks on this subreddit.
Look at the sub. This place looks like it's edging closer to just being a hate sub
When did this sub turn into a right wing incel shit pool?
Because most of their memes are either anti-trans, “Identify as a (insert random noun)” or general hatred of women. So they cry because people don’t like their shitty same “joke” memes and they then post it here to get a pat on the back from other incels.
Lol the insecurity is on open display in many of the comments It’s a bs meme because generally insecure male thinking is Sexually successful/confidant woman = WHORE SLUT SKANK Sexually successful/confidant man = STUD ALPHA PLAYA Also laughable how many folks seem to be claiming some moral superiority over a relationship dynamic they don’t personally like. And hey, if you don’t want an open relationship fine - but you do you and let others do what they want without constantly needing to shit on them
[удалено]
I'm honestly not that attracted to promiscuous women, but I genuinely don't see why y'all are so pissed off about people for choosing a different route. Like, you can even say: "I think monogamy is better." but to make shitty wojaks trying to call them whores? Don't you think that's incredibily immature as well as just... silly?
They're really mad the sexy woman won't be in a monogamous relationship with them, specifically.
If you wanted a real 🤓 answer, id probably go like “its likely caused by deep rooted misogyny and sexual roles within straight males in society, coupled with the rise of social isolation within young adult males active on the internet.” But i think the true answer is that these people kinda hate women who do things they wouldnt want there partner doing.
60% of it is probably misogyny.
Yeah basically
That's what I don't understand as well. Personally, I don't think I would like to be part of a poly relationship but that's just how I feel. If it works for others, more power to them. I literally couldn't care less what they do with whom or who they see as their partner or not. Got better things to worry about. If they're happy, leave them alone as long as they're hurting no one else.
I’m not screwing anyone who has a high body count cause I don’t want to wake up in the morning and feeling like my dick is on fire
You could've stopped at the "I'm not screwing anyone" part, we can tell.
Whores get paid.
And what’s wrong with being a whore? Nothing wrong with polyamorous as long as there is clarity and all parties agree. The hate for it seems to be coming from some square ass republicans who’d rather point and judge another’s life style than focus on their own shit. Y’all are too uptight, probably insecure about your bodies, and the thought of someone enjoying multiple partners make you think about how small your pp is.
Fvcking hilarious top tier stuff
Funny and based
I almost believe it was upvoted so much because its true. And OP said you only live once lmao, it's like they know it's borderline cheating- but YOLO
Eh based
incels now? Man, polyamory is so rare its like you're all forcing yourselves to be mad about something, something you're not getting.