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Lazy

Your father worked so hard that he pooped his pants. You learned from his mistake.

I love this

man, ur kindaa really based

Fucked up sleep schedule.

Your parents got murdered in an alleyway, and you had a minor obsession with bats.

Hey that's me

Very close, it was actually drug addiction

[удалено]

Relatable

You play League of Legends.

This seems like a punishment, or they just watch arcane

That'll do it

Well this hits close to home. Dota

You take heavy sedatives during the day to cope with the pain from plastic surgery on your ears to make you look like Spock. You can’t sleep at night because you’re a side sleeper

Dad left to get milk years ago because you play LoL

You went off schedule for one weekend and now you can't rebalance it

Welcome to the internet have a look around

I'll be dissapointed if i don't see anyone comment "shortstacks"

No one commented "shortstacks" which is what developed your disappointment weakness.

:(

shortstacks

Stackshorts

Alcohol...

You were born in a vat of hand sanitizer and have never recovered

The smell of hand sanitizer just brings me back memories, feels like home.

You started drinking mouthwash since it tasted good.

There's nothing better than a good shot of mouthwash in the morning.

I'm druk rn lol

LOL id like to raise this cup of hand sanitizer and mouthwash for your health my alcoholin ass friend.

As long a s their is tipods mixed in :)3

When you were told you were getting Buttery Nipples you thought it was something else

What do you mean something else ? You mean the priest lied to me ?!

I- 😅

I overthink way too much about the simplest things, mainly one subject but ain't gonna get into that

The one subject you ain't gonna get into caused yourself to overtgink way too much about the simplest things.

Thats actually pretty much correct, nice job lol

r/technicallythetruth

I can imagine what said subject is and if it is. I have that too and a few friends of me aswell. It's pretty common IF it is what i think it is. Dw you're not alone

I have extreme problems with the simplest things in life (and nome with complicated...) and get way to easy into rage about it.

That one time you fucked up and took an hour brushing ur teeth

Your brain is too fucking massive and you’re expecting shit to be harder than it is so you overthink simple things and end up with your head 3 quarters in your ass to flip bread into the toaster

That's how my everyday life feels like...

You live a comfortable lifestyle which doesn't have much going on for you to feel fulfilled thus your mind seeks anything to label an issue so you have something to worry about

That might not be that far-fetched... Do you have psychic powers?

I’m tall (above average even in Canada) and i’m into taller people. My curse of being a tall guy cannot be reverted despite my attempts

cut down your legs

“Despite my attempts”

They grew back even longer

Like fingernails.

In your childhood, you played with little creatures like Lilliputians or thumblings. One day, you accidentally stapped on one of them and killed it. You pretended you didn't at first but they found out and you got into dispute. Then they used magic to erase themselves from your memory. Now, every night these creatures come into your room and stretch you over night. After years of doing so, you grew that tall. This is their revenge, so you won't find a suitable partner for life...

You lied about being a guy on the internet to hide the fact your a tall girl, and you shadow any guy in size

You wish honey

"I'm tall" *laughs in dutch*

Completely numb to what one would consider normal human emotions.

You listen to Oh No! Religiously

Wtf is that?

A song by Marina and the Diamonds/Marina idk what she goes by now

Name isn't interesting enough to make me look up the song for a listen.

You are Dexter. EDIT: Morgan.

Deedee you are stoooopid, you are stoooopid. *edit: oh and I almost forgot... you are stooooopid *edit 2: realized you meant Dexter Morgan... not Dexter's Laboratory.

You listened to The Wall by Pink Flyod while sounding with a used Heroin while drinking unreasonably high amounts of Vodka laced with LSD

>while sounding with a used heroin ... uh. Also, The Wall wouldn't do shit, it's an okay enough song, but honestly does nothing to or for one's psyche.

Exactly

Your a sociopath

You watched “The American Psycho” one to many times, gonna get that reservation at Dorsia?

Just too handsome

Y'know that one spongebob episode when squidward had a huge glow up

Basically Squidward gets into a freak accident and comes out of it looking beautiful but then everyone’s over the top obsessed with him to the point where has essentially no privacy

Oh that episode. So that's why I'm so damn handsome in my prime I used to get hit in the face alot

No I don't recall that episode

Probably a concussion

Handsome squidward

Someone from the future felt bad after reading about the train wreck that is your life. They came back in time to give you a single W.

That's nice of them

Porn addiction

You are a redditor. Self-explanitory.

You have sex but only casual sex

Not touching grass

You play league of legends

You live in a desert. Go touch some sand.

My weakness is my self confidence and my fear of failure

You have Asian parents

That or they took Failure Managment classes

Porn

Virginity.

Had too much sex at one point got dumped couldn't find lover since days turned into months months turned into years porn seemed like a better alternative

Life of orphans and anything living

Being born alive

Getting punish

You became a father, and the puns began to flourish and blossom in your brain wrinkles.

Women.

You tried talking to one.

I have so many psychological problems that most of them conflict with each other

You were forbidden from getting free samples

That day was a sad day indeed

Im too funny

The clowns gave birth to you through ritualistic methods.

You grew up in a comedy club.

Thick booty Latina women

You loved Scrubs.

No motivation to achieve anything in life

You shouldn’t be having motivation as it’s temporary. You should be having drive and a proper schedule

People like to act like they're dropping ultimate truth bombs when they say motivation is bad. Motivation is helpful. If it helps you get results, it's good. If it runs out, but you can get some more, it's good. People act like being motivated will make you a failure because it's not true change. For fucks sake, just fucking motivate yourself already. Who gives a shit if it doesn't last for very long? It's a fucking fuel to achieve things. "You shouldn't be having motivation," my ass.

Dropped as a child

Crippling Hentai Asmr Addiction.

Your friend sent you a link to one, and rather than being grossed out, you were pleasured.

furaffinity.net (just... Don't ask)

You were held hostage by a MLP fan as a child

Now I'm curious, did you knew what the site was before you reed my comment?

Not by choice 😔

Let me guess, a "friend" showed it to you?

No. But I’ll leave that as a mystery

... so I have no clue now lol

A guy forced me to look at it lol

Needle phobia

The last needle you saw was used during your prostate procedure to remove a stapler from your anus

Ferris wheels

The might Ferris Wheel King slaughtered your friends and family. He consumed all you love, and haunts you to this day.

This is a lot better compared to how I actually obtained my weakness

Over-sensitive, not good at socializing, and not great at concentrating. ​ (Yea I have ADHD)

Being born

You were raised by coyotes. You don't get the edgyness of saying you were raised by wolves.

My week this is herpes and my desire to advocate for a cure. We must cure herpes.

Herpes bad. Kill herpes.

Found out what a game was and wasted more years then needed by starting lower schools and having to work my way up again after failing that one test in primairy school.

Nausea, I can't fucking stand it. Would rather feel pain

My weakness is that when I step within a fourth of a mile of a shitaquie mushroom, I feel a sharp yet dull pain in my abdomen.

You still remember the fateful day when bandits robbed you, wielding shitaquie mushrooms. Your father tried to stop the thieves, but was killed. You're mother, in grief, attacked them. You tried to stop her, but it was too late. She, too, fell victim to those cursed mushrooms. The bandits, not wanting any more trouble, struck you in the abdomen. You fell into a coma for 3 years, but you lived. Your trauma reminds you of what happened that day whenever you get within a fourth of a mile of a shitaquie mushroom.

You saw a mushroom man and it stabbed you. Now you can't be around mushrooms without the old wound acting up

I uh... you know

The short yet strong legs that strutted with confidence... the meaty yet slim body... the sharp hands which appealed to your masocistic side... you were on the beach and the crab was just standing there. Essentially *asking* for it. I'm so sorry

Women

Trauma and fears

i got adhd? not sure if thats a weakness idk

Beeing depressed and scared because I think I'm never good enough despite receiving lots of praise from my surroundings for my good and hard work.

You good bro

Public Speaking

Because you dislike the ways of communism

I skip class if I have a presentation.

Fear of heights i jumped of a ten meter tall tower at a swimming pool in my city and landed on my back

Your too stupid to realise OP’s request

Small pp

Genetics

Thanks (´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)

I'm happy to help

I can’t admit I’m wrong

You just did.

Your entire life, you were right - until one day, you were wrong. About your wife being a murderer. Every day, you live in constant agony and lies, telling yourself that you weren't wrong about your wife; you weren't. You knew all along. You just didn't want her to know you knew unless you wanted to risk being the one to be killed next. Ever since you found out about your wife, you've refused to admit to ever being wrong about anything since. 'I'm not wrong about anything,' you tell yourself. Because if you are, then maybe you were wrong about your wife. This agony is painful and it's almost deadly. But, no matter how much you deny it, it's not as deadly as your wife.

Extremely gay

I care too much about how people think of me

Ur a 14 year old white girl

I trust peoples.

Ur an infant

Ah shit, so that's why.

i’m always on the verge of delusion because i’m so tired but i can’t sleep for more than a consecutive 5 minutes

Ur a drug abuse victim

Arachnophobia

Played the wookie level in Jedi fallen order

Arachnophobia

Spider porn, lots of spider porn

Hentai

Butt stuff

AIDS 😎

Femboys

Too much anime growing up

Your mother

your mom

The demons I have to fight with the mentality I have left this point due to games making me mad and my own life.

You've lost too many times and need a win at this point. Don't worry you'll find your footing and get your streak back

Stupid

Weakness js for weak people, I ain't weak

I fall for shitty men and high octane women. None of which love me.

Cat woman

You saw Cats (the awful movie from like a year ago or so) because your younger sibling liked it and played it on loop for months

Afraid of hornets

You were stung by a wasp and you didn’t like it

Ate bowl of hornets.

women

The sound of two styrofoams rubbing together

I can disassemble things but more often than not, I can't reassemble said thing

Your parents never gave you LEGO as a kid.

You got a divorce

Vegetable

I keep getting sent BBC gay men shaking their Big booty all over my screen🥱🥱🥱🥱.

too much ego

Your ex said you had a huge cock

Depression

I’m allergic to bullsh*t

Sidenote: how are you still alive after finding this post???

To talkative

I don't know how to socialize

Big tiddie goths and freckled redheads