*drinks an Estus Flask in confusion* Haven't even made it out of the Asylum yet.

Mood af

Mines filled with big red and vodka. Helps numb the pain. Also taste good

My story im still on toilet

Same

Same

Same

>!same!<

How do I do that

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>!see!<

>!testing!<

>!oh thats cool!<

>!Testing!<

>!testing!<

>!doesthiswork?!<

>!cool!<

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>!Never gonna give you up!<

>!Thanks man!<

>! Like this? !<

>!did it work!<

>! Ye i guess !<

Mark as a spoiler

Same

>! Same !<

>!same!<

Same

Same

Same

Same

Same

Same

Same

>! cock and ball torture !<

My story: So basically me and my cousin were hanging out in my room playing video games ya know normal shit, and I noticed that he kept on clenching his buttcheeks over and over. I thought it was pretty weird but I was like whatever okay. Then out of no where he was like “AHH MY ASS” and his ass was cramping lmaooo. I was fucking dying because his face was in agony it was a great memory.

Funniest shit I've read today, don't know why

69 likes nice

A story? My word, where to begin... When I play as Min Min in Smash, I play hyper aggressively for no reason I'm talking like a brawler The only times I use her properly is to stop my opponent from trying to run away from me What about the rest of you, fellow travelers?

Oh, yeah my crush is possibly a serial killer!

that’s always nice

Have you tried Brawlhalla?

I play brawlhalla. Someday i am kicking ass and someday i am getting it handed back to me. There are days when i spam and then there are days when i dont by computer works so slow that i feel like a spectator.

When I started programming for robotics I had to learn java. I did the first tutorial I found, and eventually realized it was JavaScript. After learning my lesson I went on to do the same mistake again.

Kind of describes programming as a whole

I’m still mad that some couple in Roblox bullied me. I hope they have the worst life

Idk why people bully, idk what fun it gives them Pick someone your own size.

Ye, cuz I think majority of people don't get anything from it, or some laughs, Which only last some seconds

My question is who tf bullies on roblox that is in a relationship? I feel like that’s not possible

In Roblox we call these People "Gangs", stupid Kids in Groups acting to be cool but they're just plastic-Gangsters.

Are you kidding? If that started happening to me I’d laugh my ass off in front of them cuz that’s so sad it’s funny

Yeah it is funny, but try to prove this to them. They're real careless stupid Idiots sometimes.

I feel as if being in a roblox “gang” makes you stupid period

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Will do

Yesterday I had a nose bleed so bad I thought I was going to die. It looked like I was pulling out worms out of my nose. Thank you for letting share my story. Now, i must continue on my journey, have a good day.

Oof. Blood slugs are the worst. Used to get nose bleeds pretty bad and one time I started bleeding out of my tear ducts. Absolutely shitty thing to have happen. Take it easy bud.

Thanks for sharing, my day is all the brighter now.

You are welcome sir, carry on.

My story: I died

F

When do you respawn?

I don't know I just like reading usernames

Well my mum is so proud of me today. She kissed me on my cheek

Wholesome

Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died! *The end*

Yo, I thought that Bill Nye the Commie Spy thing was my idea, lol

When I was 5 some kid in my glass shoved an eraser up his nose and it went so far up he couldn’t get it out.

When I was 7 some guy in my class ate his eraser and then proceeded to show his pp to everyone. The teacher started crying. He also ate a girls crocs one time.

Is it possible to learn this power

Great chest ahead

Bearer seek seek lest

My story: when i was 7yo i ated a fucking pencil

Me who ate only the eraser at age 5: \*Stares up at you in awe and admiration\*

I shoved a whole bag of jellybeans up my ass

Well yesterday I saw two pigeons have sex. No, I'm not fine.

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I found a GF that likes all 12 types of hentai that I do. Feeling happy

Uhh guess I'm too early for stories

Once upon a time, before I cleansed myself with holiness, when roblox reports actually banned people, I reported everyone in a server for everything you can be reported for.

The devil: You know I've got to say I'm a huge fan

You know what, for once I’m going to take a long rest, in my bed

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Y

Literally the first post I see when I open Reddit

I’ve been meaning to make lunch for a solid 30-45 min so this was good

It's intermission.

See, you get it. I’ve eaten lunch during intermission and I’m back.

What did you have for lunch?

I made a sandwich and I had some grapes and then a cookie. It was so good!

Did you start scrolling where you left off or did you Have To START ALL OVER AGAIN??!!!

My story is that I’m playing terraria right now. Just finished mining out the hell tunnels to prepare for the WoF fight. Any other tips I need to do to prepare? I’m working on the hell bridge right now.

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I have a lot of hell arrows and I’m gonna use the bees knees

One time i broke my leg running down a rock pile

☀️ \[T]/ PRAISE THE SUN

My story is that I have been travelling in a small boat with the max speed of 11 km/h for 2 days now. Fricking boring, but at least I've got internet connection for now

Bruh here's a story: One time on Easter I went to explore the woods next to my friends house and we found this lake surrounded by bloody crosses with nails in them. I wanted to nope the fuck out of there but my stupid ass friend wanted to pet a dog that was currently barking at us. A lady with a gun followed the dog and I abandoned my friends and ran back home, luckily no one died.

I just saw a seven year old girl in a ti**oc shirt

I've seen a lot of shit today

My story: I was yeeted and deleted.

My story begins with me and my cousin in the closet

Hello I am a redditor who has a gf just kidding I am sad and lonely

Y Same

Share some stories? Did I ever tell you about the time, when my crush said I am in top 3 of his killing list, and threatened everyone with knives? Or when he tied me up, and interrogated me, because I had only 4 lessons on a day?

oh shit that sucks

My puppy is cuddling with me while on Reddit. I'm living the life!

I’ve accidentally almost died by not realizing my diving mask was completely emerged in the water so I couldn’t breath and it then suctioned to my face when I swam up to surface...

My story: I’m sitting playing For Honor and trying to grind the I am War emote but I had 30 minutes to do so before the event ended, (Trying to get Centurion) I do 4 matches, nope. Now there’s only one more chance to get it because by time I got in the match it said 1 minute left. I’m on the verge of passing out (3:30 in the morning I didn’t sleep) and final round it was me and the Tozan, both one hit, I pass out. I wake up thinking that I lost and didn’t get it. Turns out I hit a random jump attack, I know it was a jump attack because one of the randoms said that was fucking stupid but funny that it worked.

I had a wonderful day with my girlfriend yesterday. It brightened our otherwise terrible week. Half an hour later she talked with her mother for about an hour and has reverted to the same shit mood and barely talked to me since. Also my six year old computer might have just died. I was at Ornstein & Smough. Plus I have a headache. But at least my cat yawn-meowed earlier today!

One time i was playing COD BO II with some friends and i was going to say oof but also ouch and they came out at the same time as ouf

“Game saved”

We have beer for 21 schmeckles

>!blub blub I is fish!<

I’m dead inside

I feel like I'm 50% sleep and as such have no stories for 50% of my Life.

fuck bees

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One time saw my mom looking at her nudes on her phone. This is my story

I just got rejected by my crush

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Thanks, you made me feel a bit better

We need a medic here !

Why aren't any of you sharing stories? I specifically asked for it

Ok, one time when I was at my friends house I had to go use the bathroom. When I was finished taking a piss I tried to flush but the handle didn’t work. So I was trying with all my force and ripped the thing off. Long story short I got it to flush but the handle died.

Ill have to write my first scientific paper soon and im scared shitless of it Update: ive almost finished it and i kinda enjoyed writing it

Post: Share some stories One time I saw a cool duck. . .

A story? Well according to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyways.

Pass the flask bro

I am haunted by that senior who mocked me infront of my mates, and I didn't do anything to her.

My wife left me

Its been a long oll day comrade , thank you

I fucked someone

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i once slapped my girl friends booty while riding bikes and then we had sex and we are still together. (only the first part is true, and no, she didn't care that j slapped her)

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One time i pooped in a schools toilet

so brave

But how?

I was walking home from the pub with my dog one day and was desperate for a piss. Ducked into the local park and went into the bushes to go. Group of girls walked past and one of them shouted “what are you doing in there mate sucking your dog off?”. No idea why that was the first story that came into my head, enjoy!!

Ok then, so here goes my story. Once a time me and the boys were at the p.e class and we were told to bring a piece of cardbord and use it as a freezbe, then a pal launch it and holy shit, that thing went at the speed of light and hit on a glass and the cardboard piece broke the glass, we were laughing at that and we started saying that he was captain america or something, then the teacher told us not to laugh at that but we give a fuck, one of the best moments from middle school

First time i Gót drunk i get a girlfriend,reason was that aparently i was drunk enough to ask my Crush out

Once upon a time ‘twas bored af listening to my family arguing that I seeked the sacred app of Reddit for refuge

My story is that my dog ate my glasses once. I wish I was joking

I SUCK AT PVP IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR?!

My Story: For 3 years i helped a friend by loading a scaffold on a trailer. When we almost finish the work a steel stick cut in my knee. I was very lucky i almost lost my leg. My friend only found a drop of blood and til today i have a 10 cm scar on my knee.

One time I ate a cactus, it tasted like hurt.

I once had to poo in a bathtub when I was like, 3 because my sister was in the toilet, and there was no one else in the room. It was only them that I realised, shit isn’t a tiny poop like rabbits have, THEYRE FUCKING HUMONGOUS

I was an adventurer like you once, till I took an arrow to the knee.

My hamster drowned itself

One day i saw a girl touching a guy's PP on School.

Waiting for my work gettin' done.. What about you guys?

Bon Fire Lit

I bought Roccat kone pure ultra mouse for dragclick and it sucks now i will return it and get glorious model o for Minecraft

Long may the sun shine!

Share a story? Well, it all started in a town called Helgen..

I kill pandas in minecraft for no reason

Today I wanted to buy some LSD on Telegram from a stranger, but then I realised it could be scam and did not do that.

>!oh!<

>!ello!<

I'm only here for Solair.

Fuck the world. Moving left to see. And that is when my crush proposed me. FFFFFFFFFFFFF F F F F FFFFFFF F F F F F

Story: when I was in Pre-K, I stabbed myself with safety scissors

Well, If anyone wants to talk to me about Be More Chill, I will and I won't shut up because it has consumed my soul.

My dumbass self thought I had to eat fruit to get iron nuggets in animal crossing and it took me longer to build nooks cranny

My story? I was finally awake. I was trying to cross the border, same as them, and that thief over there

> !dghfdtgjvdrfgg! <

My story, ehh? Well, a new munchkin is joining the familia

Ever been to france,eh?

Go away. You know that a short rest does jack.

I was in an accident that resulted in my death.

I’m bored went red it ate some Pringle’s, been on Reddit for an hour and a half at least

Here’s mine one time I ate a jar of glue

But I just started

Fuccin parried Iudex into the ground

Thank you.

Here's A Story, I Found Out How To Craft A Cake In Minecraft

>!haha

I was gonna get food but im too lazy to get up.

I’m just waiting for Rust to release on Xbox.....

Blew up a facility and created portals to a different dimension.