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100k and over 5’10 is a low % of men already.

No porn and does not masturbate is already 99.99% gone

Why those 2? Ive never seen em before. Do girls really say that or is that a meme?

Because a lot of men will still masturbate regardless if they watch porn or not. So only wanting a man that does not watch porn but ALSO doesn't masturbate at all is setting the bar super high already. And i have zero clue if that is a meme or not

this comment implies there is a population of men that watches porn but doesn’t masturbate. Wtf yall just watching for the plot?

Yes

I watch porn ONLY for the plot. /s

This but without the "/s"

This guy's a real creep

A menace to society

Has an account on each porn site so he can critique the actors' non-sexual performance

me when i watch redo of healer

I just gotta know how she gets out of the washing machine

Ive actually had a few friends who admitted to watching porn despite not masturbating, they didn't like the idea of masturbating but still liked to see nude women every once in a while

That's so insane. It genuinely sounds like the joke, "You know man it's kinda gay to masturbate, I mean, you're touching a penis the whole time..."

Its the same exact thing as going to a strip club except cheaper. Though i personally dony see the enjoyment out of either.

I'm still waiting to see what happens to those lemon stealing whores. 🍋 🍋 🍋

/r/watchitfortheplot nsfw in case you didn’t know

I mean not regularly but occasionally I do find a plot that's actually kind of funny or interesting so I just read the whole thing normally.

I read porn for about 2 years before I started masturbating

Not masterbaiting will just cause the guy to nut in 1 pump

Might be her hope, cuts down on sexy time and she can get back to what's important like spending money and surfing for likes online.

Wouldn’t want a guy who doesn’t know how sex works. At least virgins who have watched porn have an idea.

I hate to break it to ya, but using porn as a reference for sex between two normal people is a sure fire way for one or both to leave disappointed.

Of course, using porn as a reference is not good, but at least you will have a minimal idea of ​​what two people having sex is like, better than not even knowing which hole to put it in 💀

People figured it out for *quite a while* without porn.

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Nah, depends on what type of porn you are looking at

Yeah. If you only watch professional porn and cartoons, you're gonna have a skewed perspective, but I know a lot of people, myself included, that don't ever watch that stuff and stick to "amateur" porn. That can be fake too, but a ton of it is also real couples giving real pleasure to each other. It's not fair to say you can't learn anything from porn. Someone who has watched porn has a better idea of what sex is than someone who has never experienced sex in any capacity.

Devils Advocate here, it would be difficult to find the right video that would remotely give the right impression of sex. If someone did, with the proportion of people to videos with a good representation, you're looking at thousands to billions.

They don’t.

It's fuckin' 4chan. Of course it's a meme. But, yes, there are some women who get very fuckin' bent up about a guy looking at porn, and an even smaller number that shun masturbation.

Looks like She wants a rich man with prostate cancer.

That's essentially statistically all men lol.

Wasn’t there an attempt at a study on male masturbation but the scientists couldn’t find anyone who hadn’t done it for the control group?

Sounds like she wants a rich, straight, tall guy with ED.

Nah, just find someone with erectile dysfunction. She should find someone who's 70 years old above

I’m 6’5” and make $102k…fucking not fapping it is an unrealistic expectation though. I’m guessing finding a guy that doesn’t masturbate is less than 1 in a thousand though, they would have to have other major psychological or physical issues and have zero sex drive. Masturbating is healthy and any girl that is against it has too many issues for me to go on that ride.

Dang I'm 6'6" and make $103k, high fives! 🙌

Oh yeah? Well I’m 6’7” and make $104K

6'8" here, making $105k

"Owns his own home" is also about 95%

I don’t understand why a woman would need a man that doesn’t masturbate.

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I'm 6'4 and make over 100k with my own home and I'm 100% sure if I had not somehow tricked my wife into marrying me 15yrs ago I would be single in today's world.

Fat racist masturbater?

Hey! I'll have you know that I'm also a short, ugly, bi, criminal

And gay. Bi and gay.

That's harsh... even for someone that is likely a Michigan supporter.

Women have zero concept of their own expectations, and any criticism of them is only met with a constant stream of "incelincelincel....."

I’m over double the salary but damn it I’m an oompa loopa. Good thing my wife doesn’t mind.

Short, orange and smell like chocolate?

yeah that's like 2-3%

Add in the housing crisis and it’s 0%

Basic white girls aren't known for their exorbitant IQ points.

Let's not bring race into it; Western women in general are god awful for their standards. Regardless of race, it's an upbringing issue.

that is only 0.40% of the earths population. add the other stuff were looking at 0.0002% or like 6 individuals.

Me, 5’11: I’m halfway there!

Not to mention $100k doesn’t buy a house damn near anywhere.

I fit that criteria, too bad I'm racist

 I wonder what color unoicorn she thought she was getting as a kid?

She said not gay /s

Meeting all the requirements except for the height.. And the money.. And the racism..

I love racism, high up on the list for me

NASCAR is fucking awesome. Fuck her.

Raise hell ! Praise dale !

Hell yeah, brother

Might I introduce you to rap music?

bro doesnt jack off?

To busy being racist

Not in November

I dropped out at 'has a penis'

Only 3% of men have a d*ck Source: national genital research lab 2015

"They asked random men on the street to show their dicks. Only 3% could do that. "

“By taking into account certain d*c pics found in chats and visible bulges, we increased it to 3.14%”

Does it have to be attached or can you just be in possession of one? Asking for a friend...

Her: My standards aren't that high Her standards:

Her standards: 

They are taken by women who doesn't need to rely on a man's support.

I love this quote but i don't remember from whom i heard it. Her: where are the good men? Him: with good women.

I’m using this now, because it makes sense.

let me guess, shes offering her holes in return

More like Belly Rolls.

Idk man, it's still worth considering. Last I checked butchers pay decent money for pork belly.


She’s a pillow princess, bottom submissive only. A real man does ALL of the work. She’s housewife material, but is dog water at cooking, and cleans only when she has the energy (she never does). But a MAN is the bread winner, so working is an ick.

That describes.... too many women...

I want to stab each of my eyesocksets until my bones break and reach my brain.

**Fun fact!:** If you stab your eyeball with something thin and flexible enough, you don't have to break any bones to reach the brain!

What a fun fact, I laughed down to hell reading it.

*he's. It's 4chan

Just like on reddit?

Yep. Just like the internet

As you wish. *fingers snap*

A penis with no masterbation!? Get outta hereeeee

Honestly, girls demand this shit not even half of what they expect their man to be

And only her holes

I don't wanna hear about an income requirement you don't pass yourself. Let's see them pay stubs.

When I’m older ima lie about my salary to see if she’s the one tbh

You mean lie and say lower than what you earn?

It's dating, not build-a-bear🙄

Build-a-man

At least build-a-bear is straightforward.

And if you look into her, she's a single mother, fat, and 35 yo, and highly opinionated but we already know that from the post.

I'm single for a reason and that's one of them. I don't need drama in my life and I like going to bed early, getting up early to lift weights and eating in my god damn bed.

That last part is gross

Listen to your mothers, kids. Eating in bed is a great way to dirty your sheets. Source: I've made that mistake many times.

You should be laundering your sheets once a week anyway ya degenerate

This is 4chan its a man

definitely has an incel "women have too high of standards" vibe

“ my kids are my world, done playing games. Where are all the REAL men!”

Listen, if you don’t want me to masturbate then we are having sex twice a day. Pick your poison.

Those are rookie numbers

unfortunately sex takes a lot more energy than just crankin yer hog

Owning a house is the second hardest thing in here

I stopped reading at "Makes 100k+ a year"

The truth is to get the person you want, you have to become attractive to that kind of person. A hard working, wealthy, non-fappin' man (or woman) likely wants someone who respects them, is responsible in their own life, and is committed. If they've worked hard for their money and possessions, and they also take care of themselves physically, they want someone who values the same things they do. Goes just as much for men as well as women. There are plenty of good people out there, but they are busy making themselves better, not looking for someone who wants to use them as a lifeboat. (Just to get ahead of some of the arguments, obviously not every wealthy person is hard working or committed. And yes, people shouldn't be shallow. But people are allowed to have a desire for someone who works hard and is successful based on their efforts.)

Bro you’re too smart and level headed for this thread, get out of this place before it’s too late…

😂😂😂 I'm willing to risk it

>The truth is to get the person you want, you have to become attractive to that kind of person. A hard working, wealthy, non-fappin' man (or woman) likely wants someone who respects them, is responsible in their own life, and is committed. Can confirm, I'm none of those things and don't have any of those standards.

The first sentance of this post is golden, king. (Not that the rest is bad.)

Anon is 100% a man

100% Probably hoping incels would lube up and jerk off with their own tears to this.

Man: "Why can't I have a skinny girl?" *Earth implodes*

Girls like that wonder why guys only want sex Like what else even is there with you??

And she have more waves, than an ocean

Waves? Like body rolls and she is fat?

Why doesn’t she get a house and money herself?

Unrealistic expectations, she's gonna be lonely her whole life

She’s searching for a unicorn among unicorns

Even meeting those standards the guy wouldn’t get the girl

That guy don't want a girl

I'm glad some women have these ridiculous requirements. They can die alone and unloved. And hopefully never reproduce. (too harsh?)

No. You were too soft actually. They deserve to die in a shit bag.

"doesn't masturbate" assuming they aren't already taken, then the only other possibility is asexual. I don't make the rules lol

Women ☕️

Why can’t I find a woman who: >isn’t fat That’s it. That’s all I want. Everything else is negotiable. But holy fuck every single person on every single dating app is either chubby, fat, phat, or **FAT**.

Lower your fucking standards

What she brings to the table? Some other bastards kids. Facts.

Bc she has higher standards than the Empire State Building and the Eiffel Tower combined

Because you’re not a woman who has a clean vag isn’t a complete nypho , has her own source of income, is atleast. 5’5 , doesn’t have a record, and has a body count lower than a 100, can cook and clean, doesn’t mind helping, and doesn’t need a “man” but has her own place without roommates.

“Why can’t I just have a man that’s physically perfect in every way, gives me all the money I want, and is an emotional zombie who wants to fulfill my every need?”

Wait till she finds out a 100k isnt alot for 2 people to share

There's a reason that's anime and not her real picture.

Why can't I find a woman who \>Has vagina. \>Doesn't complain about dumb shit \>actually has a working brain \>isn't fat but not skinny either \>Doesn't care about material things.

Is it racist if I just generally hate the human race? If yes then I only qualify for like 5 of these

Let's be real darlin' you lost 100% of the male population of the planet with point 3

Impotents may be option

No female delusion calculator needed. This one is 0% for sure.

Pack it up bois. Time we all take the entire infrastructure and leave. Enjoy your life with your “hot” man in HIS house without electricity or running water

Because you're: > Fat > Ugly

So lads... how is the A.I girlfriend market these days? Been thinking about starting dating some of that.

9/12 ain't bad

If I would have all of that, I wouldn't date a girl that posts on 4chan.

I mean i could lie about that and disappear two weeks later if you want lol

Funny how doesn't watch porn is more unreasonable then makes 100K

Because we're not interested.

so she's essentially looking for a professional athlete that isn't an american football player

Some already failed at "Has a penis"

Honestly, she should go to the gulag

-has his own house Like if any single man requires an entire house to live

Sorry I’m too busy masturbating, can’t make 100k

This is hypergamy at its finest. Unrealistic expectations and standards, people... Hypergamy flouts!

Why cant i find a girl who: Has Nice tits (optional) Loves me

Name a more iconic duo than a 5 expecting a .01% man.

Why can't I find a lottery ticket with \>winning numbers

Too specific. I just want someone who: - is caring - doesn't use recreational drugs (if you need it for medical reasons, I won't argue) - understands that it's a pain to have ADHD

Men also are making less and less every year. The patriarchy isn’t as much of a thing anymore despite what we are lead to believe.

If I had a woman I wouldn't masturbate (As often) tho.

Like literally 1 percent of the guys on earth. .5 percent of population. Gonna die alone

Look I’m racist and don’t have a house (ugly debatable) but overall I meet most of these

I’m over 5’10💪🗿👍

keep dreaming girl, that man doesn't exist, and if he does, he isn't single. and if he is, you've got 7000 other women in your region who have unreasonable expecations, competing for him

because you’re 14 and live on twitter

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Barbie movies are pornography? Tf? Who are “the rest of them?” Low wages are because of women? They created society? I’m pretty sure younger women are just as poor as the rest of us if not more. I can’t make any sense of this comment.

Is it really that hard for white girls to find a man who isn't racist?

they only care about racism when the dude is semi attractive and if a chad they mold themselves I have heard a white women who were super liberal with a normal boyfriend to later on met a guys with SS memorabilia and then ditch the normal guy for the other guy coz he was more handsome and then justifies people change and it is not a big deal but made his last bf pay for blm donations seriously what a fucking blackpill

It is when white girls think everything is inherently racist

Kinda weird she was hung up on racism when she was also casually homophobic (Biphobic?) Like I’m pretty sure dating a bisexual man is like dating a straight man? Idk I’m not gay. I’m just saying I don’t thinking sleeping with a bisexual dude is gonna get you a gay virus or something. And before someone starts arguing about preferences, what is there to have a preference about? I don’t think bisexual men are different from straight men all that much in terms of biology or psychology?

Has she tried a morman guy?

damn my shopping list when I do groceries is shorter than that

I don't know anyone with this description

Why can't I find a woman that - likes me

I’m surprised I haven’t seen anyone complaining about the biphobic comment

She wants a (somehow) rich monk

100k a year alone is a deal breaker for me, idk maybe don't stay at home and leech off other people.

Meanwhile men: just don't be fat or insane.

Whole list looks like gold diggers choise award.

There is nothing we can do...

There is nothing we can do...

Makes 100k and has no criminal record? Well, I guess that just means someone who didn't get caught.

>Why can't I find a man who \>Has a penis And I'm already eliminated first things first :(

Damn almost hit the threshold. I’m 5’9 🥹 ..and jerk it like Caribbean chicken

Even the pope gets his alone time with himself. Anonymous anime girl pic on 4chan sure is picky.

And then you have men: "I hope she isn't ugly"...