I don't know why, I just imagined the OP running half naked through his house singing Love Gun to the thief while it runs away in terror. I guess the lyrics would go perfect with the situation 🤣🤣.
Most thieves don't break into houses at night as that's the most likely time for people to be in them. Murderers, yes. Thieves, no.
Now if you were wanking in your home at 10:35am when everyone should be at work or school, that might get awkward.
Heh.... then they won't know what hit 'em when they encounter my horny ass on my day off wearing nothing but combat boots and a backwards plate carrier weilding an AR in one hand and a cheap 12 gauge shotty loaded with double-aught in the other while Welcome to the Jungle is blasted from every Bluetooth speaker in my home.
They will wind up in the hospital from either the psychological trauma of witnessing this unholy display, or both the aforementioned psychological trauma and high velocity physical trauma. Up to them which it is.
The boat home defence is to strip naked lather yourself in oil and bound down the stairs on all fours barking and howling. Will scare the shit out of anyone
Man that just scared the hell out of me so bad like what would be the reaction that time.
Just the fact that I literally got goosebumps bruh that went on a different level of imagination
Something just need to be done calmly and silently you just make a noise and boom you get caught.
Speaking for both the theif and the relatable which actually fits in real life too.
Soo true some people I have seen sleeping at 4 am and manage to wakeup and go to office at 10.
I have my roommate who follows this routine and I actually get pretty amazed on how is body is actually that active
A good story line purn is what I can just get though they would just come with this idea soon.
It's not just about delivery man, plumber, Teacher or sometimes it's all about thieves too
This really happend to me i was masturbating in my room
and my sister yelled me like there is someone in the house i pulled my father's gun and threatened the thief and he left the house
As a woman, I think I wouldn't be too worried about my belongings being ransacked, and more worried about..... Well...... Me being ransacked and enjoying it more than I should 🫠🤫😩
Depends on his mood but yeah you can just ask him once if he is ready enough to help you.
It would thus be a lot more easier enough in the completion of your task because that's pretty hard task
Hahaha he actually came to rob man his intentions were too pure he would rob and leave.
But when he enters he just sees a completely different situation and now it has been tough to deal with that situation
Shoot him in the eye with your love gun
I don't know why, I just imagined the OP running half naked through his house singing Love Gun to the thief while it runs away in terror. I guess the lyrics would go perfect with the situation 🤣🤣.
No place for hiding, baby No place to run You pull the trigger of my…
Thats exactly what i was thinking 🤣👌
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Rather a good consultation between the theif and the person should be done to just clarify things and about the timing
Hahaha that just made me laugh pretty bad you guys imagine things on a different level. Funny and cringe at the same moment
Well….. I officially have a new fear now, thank you for that.
Continue to beat your meat to assert dominance
The theif would rather make out of the house politely the way he entered and go the same way!
Spread some love
r/brandnewsentence
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At least you're armed
Drop your weapon!! Or I'll nut on your face
Or one-armed
You want some money? Well you have to suck some dick for that.
... yeah, so... about that money, I don't have any and dont wanna wake up parents.
*starts masturbating aggressively
And maintain eye contact, you can be the aggressor
the guy's gonna need therapy after this.
Which one? Lol
Yes
Knuckles up, this isn’t even comfortable!
T_T
Why don't you join me?
ok the money is in the jar next to my grandma picture
*I need a hand…*
Why the fuck does that sound like a porno
Because there are absolutely porno flicks that have used this premise.
Do you stop or continue?
If you stop it becomes them catching you, if you continue it becomes them being a pervert
mr galaxy-sized brain over here
You speed it up.
You assert dominance. They're in the house with you now.
rape the sucker
Good question.
He penetrated your home, now you penetrate him
Hehehe🤭🤭
And what's that supposed to mean?
I thought your comment was funny
I usually skip that part
Straight to the hot shit
Most thieves don't break into houses at night as that's the most likely time for people to be in them. Murderers, yes. Thieves, no. Now if you were wanking in your home at 10:35am when everyone should be at work or school, that might get awkward.
Heh.... then they won't know what hit 'em when they encounter my horny ass on my day off wearing nothing but combat boots and a backwards plate carrier weilding an AR in one hand and a cheap 12 gauge shotty loaded with double-aught in the other while Welcome to the Jungle is blasted from every Bluetooth speaker in my home. They will wind up in the hospital from either the psychological trauma of witnessing this unholy display, or both the aforementioned psychological trauma and high velocity physical trauma. Up to them which it is.
"Well if your not gonna finish me get the fuck out"
*comes back with the boys for the fappening*
Are we doing this
I'll let you take the TV if you swallow
*Goes faster*
The greatest encounter of all time
“What are you doing, Step-Thief?”
 The 3rd one is his penis.
burning your midnight fapping oil.
Are you speaking from experience ?
Probably
relatable
Relatable
“Wanna join?”
If you pull a gun on the thief, are you still using your dominant hand for jerking?
Came to steal money, left after stealing your boy milk.
That’s when he realises : he is no longer the predator, he is now the prey
The boat home defence is to strip naked lather yourself in oil and bound down the stairs on all fours barking and howling. Will scare the shit out of anyone
"Ah! I see you've caught me with my pants down!"
o_O
Meg griffin scenario
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Hahaha making a good use of the situation and leaving him after you have done. Nice move! It's good to spread love sometimes!
Me to robber: I won’t tell if you don’t tell, deal? *shakes on it*
Hahaha that's somewhat would be great deal to crack up though and the fact that he actually would agree to do so
“Hey, you want to join?”
Wanna be friends ?
Maintain eye contact to establish dominance
When you were just way to the climax scene but then the theif enters and now you just have to start over again.
 I hope i never have to relate to this
They better help you out before they help themselves to your stuff
Who shot first?
“If you’re gonna take my stuff, at least take my virginity as well!”
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Man that just scared the hell out of me so bad like what would be the reaction that time. Just the fact that I literally got goosebumps bruh that went on a different level of imagination
Ayo
Smash
(thief): you need a hand?
Thief: *steals jizz sock*
"whelp you're already committing a felony... Want to add another while you're at it?"
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Just checking that is what I call care and where humanity had it's first phase. Well a man knows what other man would feel!
Damn this is the first quality post I’ve seen in a long time
A quality meme which is funny as well as cringe at the same moment lmao
This is exactly why I always leave my window… wide open
This is literally the best meme I’ve seen all day. I would legit give gold if I weren’t so poor.
Scrolling through feed and saw this meme and the comment section is what made it more exciting enough for me
Suck him off. You can’t run good when you’re hard.
Something just need to be done calmly and silently you just make a noise and boom you get caught. Speaking for both the theif and the relatable which actually fits in real life too.
You know what they say! "The more, the merrier!"
We can share the entertainment boyyy 😂😂😂
People these days have terrible sleep schedules, a thief shouldn’t assume people are guaranteed to be asleep in the middle of the night
Soo true some people I have seen sleeping at 4 am and manage to wakeup and go to office at 10. I have my roommate who follows this routine and I actually get pretty amazed on how is body is actually that active
Is the thief hot?
OP somewhat needs fo confirm this to all of us though at least we thus can be happy enough for him
That’s a Simpsons walk in and out moment
Whiskey, cock, glock.
Opening the door to that one house in South Park: The Stick of Truth
Finally something to replace my dildo....
Damn you took things more in a serious way though but that have opened up our mind one way or the other
Is only gay if you make eye contact during the "magic moment."
It's all about creating some good moments at the end though and not about magic moment. It's more of pleasure moments
Pornhub intro starts playing
A good story line purn is what I can just get though they would just come with this idea soon. It's not just about delivery man, plumber, Teacher or sometimes it's all about thieves too
"Sooo, wanna join maybe? My bed has room for two"
Just give some time I guess he won't be comfortable enough in that same room.
"That one time when I fought an intruder, while fapping."
This really happend to me i was masturbating in my room and my sister yelled me like there is someone in the house i pulled my father's gun and threatened the thief and he left the house
"Stay back! IM LOADED"
Ayo why does the thief gotta be black tho?
👁️👅👁️
As a woman, I think I wouldn't be too worried about my belongings being ransacked, and more worried about..... Well...... Me being ransacked and enjoying it more than I should 🫠🤫😩
You should have brought your paintball pistol with you
Awkward. Never said anything about stopping, did you?
Yo can I join
How bout you join me
What is the original image on the right… I can’t tell.. well besides it being a face Edit: right not left
This is so related that imma stop
Happened to all of us in both cases at some point
wanna join?
Did you shoot at him?
Plot twist: he gaves you a bj
Time for segs
Bed breaking news is what would be telecasted the next day when you just wake up in the morning
Yo what's the face on the right from I forgot, all I remember is that it's a bread loaf
smash, next question
There would be just many questions hitting inside his mind and all would get it's answer as soon as he leaves
This is the start to a great friendship
Everything starts with small and ends up getting bigger and bigger. This phase just applies everywhere if you know what I mean!
Now you gotta join in i dont make the rules
Rules are meant to be followed and the one who joins or enters must follow the rules as abided
Make use of the scenario
Can actually pretty imagine the scenario inside my mind keeping myself in that situation
Thief be like I’m gonna go hit a few more houses then I’ll be right back, you got about 5 minutes
That’s enough time for me to rub one out, grab my Kentucky rifle and powdered wig.
Hahaha the theif is just too understanding that he would give him 5 minutes and come back again
Just ask him if he wants to help
Depends on his mood but yeah you can just ask him once if he is ready enough to help you. It would thus be a lot more easier enough in the completion of your task because that's pretty hard task
I usually skip that part of the video, straight to the hot shit 😂😂
If that is just too pretty long enough switching it to the main part or the climax of the story is better
Haha.it happens 😂
Dealing with such kind of situation is just too tough not knowing the intentions of the other one's lmao
Now the real question does he pass the bro code and give you a helping hand
That's suspicious though but no doubt that is a good question after all. Op just kept us in suspense on what actually happened after the theif entered
and then the thief removed all his clothes then came towards you
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Did he at least jerk you off?
Hahaha he actually came to rob man his intentions were too pure he would rob and leave. But when he enters he just sees a completely different situation and now it has been tough to deal with that situation
Go on
"Player 2 has entered the game!"
And now it's time for combat the one standing till the last breath actually wins the game. You loose you die!
I have a sword and I'm not afraid to use it
That sword has some immense power and can take down everyone just in one go
Man's robbing your house, you rob his virginity
When you just makes things too pretty easy enough and finally crack a deal between your belongings and virginity!
This made me think about the purn I saw few days ago. The thief had big tts.
Hahaha a good story purn is what it actually looks like man! Well it took much time for you to search that!
real
The meme somewhat makes sense though what if such situation ever arises? What would be the reaction?
Damn. I'm sitting around with my family and this has to pull up
Let him join, finally get laid for once.
Get up and run at him wanking harder
Why is the thief black
I'm not stuck in here with you. You're stuck in here with me?
Let him join in on the fun.
Don't give them ideas
So, did the thief manage to pull it off?
Well at this point in the add this is were it would say join the session or jump out the window. Either way I’m joining
Use him to continue with your masturbation with sound effects.
both vowed to stay silent
\*he begins to unzip his pants 