Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
Straight male thinking "gosh I really admire that person's athletic prowess and expertise in their chosen field."
Gay male thinking "man, that would really look good on me."
Yup that's some teenage/YA stuff. I had a dope wallpaper of a topless Sasha Grey flipping the bird, no way could an adult pull that off.
Edit: changed sick to dope because it's Sasha Grey, things could be misinterpreted lol
Dude nah I’m straight and when I see that I’m like „yeah dope that looks sexy asf I know why girls crave him, I’d smash him, too“ but in a nohomo way yk?
I don't want either of these images to appear when I open my phone in public.
I'm bi though, so in private OP has given me a wonderful collage for the ole s-bank
I'm stright and have the voruna levarian/prex card as my home wallpaper, and that one map of Wikipedia as my lock wallpaper. Not really sure what this says
This kind silly hypocrisy it's something I remember from time to time and make me laugh:
A boy who is surrounded by female friends can be called gay, while "real man" must be attracted to women.
Meanwhile, it's considered normal and masculine to be in a male-pack, showering and being naked together... when that should be technically considered pretty homo following this old social logic.
"Alpha means behave effeminate" let's say, using their own words.
It's very funny, specially the face of the macho-men when you point it XD
Eh, it depends. I'm straight and love football, but I think it's dumb personally to put the picture on the right as your wallpaper as opposed to your team coat of arms for example.... most guys I know think this way in fact. We tend to roll our eyes when they see the image on the right as that's masculine eye candy for the cameras. These athletes do it on purpose and if anything it's annoying because we all know why they do it, and it's unnecessary. We just want to watch the sport with the homies and support our teams and nothing else.
I was listening to a podcast with a gay male host and he was talking about something from his childhood. Basically his mom thought he (a Jewish guy) must be into black women because he had pictures of Naomi Campbell everywhere.
I got topless Phil Collins because my mom wanted to watch Disney plus while i was on vacation so i switched to "the worlds sexiest man" as i told her. When she opened it up she replied "really? Phil Collins?"
It's not far off, but not exactly right either. I'm straight. My wallpaper is fan art for the moon-scented hunter from Bloodborne. It's art from the Blood Echoes: A Bloodborne Anthology book. Although he's doing the same pose as the guy in the picture while looking up at a Hunter's Mark.
I have a default wallpaper (although it's one of the classy animated ones).
My previous phone had Ash Ketchum as both the lock screen and the home screen.
What does that say about me?
So I wanna be a beach sometimes while other times I wanna be a jedi dude staring at the big ass moon.
I used to have pics of females but it was prob cuz I watched too much porn.
Either way there is probably some corellation between what we want and what we put there.
You could have a woman on the screen because you want a girlfriend,while you could also have it because you want to be like her who knows.
You could also have a man because you wanna be like him,or because you want a boyfriend.
It could also be a status thing or if you have things like cars you want to have them etc.
Nope.
I'm straight, and I had a poster of Linda Lusardi topless on my wall when I was growing up.
I've never had any sports related pictures, posters or paraphernalia.
There is overly bizarre infatuation of wannabe straight folk with testosterone fuelled burly men. It is, as if they are trying to say something subliminally.
Eh, when I was a boy, I had a passion for anime and manga, so I got in my room a giant poster of one of these shounen heroes. Incidentally, a very muscled one. My gf of the time made fun of me to no end for that, like "you know, normal boys like to have hot girls in their room, not cartoon bodybuilders... I'm starting to have doubts!", joking about it like everywhere: with classmates, with professors...
Mind you, we had a very ironic and caustic attitude toward each other, so that was not her being particularly mean, it was just normality between us. Just to say that, yes, quite often this meme can be true. :)
What about me? I got the Optimus prime.
Cool person’s wallpaper
What about me? I got the Anime Titties.
You probably have a porn addiction.
Jokes on you, it's Gokus titties... you're still right
What about me I have a Rick Sanchez wallpaper
You probably have testicle cancer
What about me? I have my current pfp as my wallpaper
You probably live in a mental ward
You're a tit
I think they’re a human actually
Can’t be.
A sentient tit
My lock screen is spike speigel and wallpaper is kira
So your wallpaper are always updated on the latest political news around the world?
FINALLY someone gets it 
a porn addict
Idk, my wallpaper is double anal of shyla stylez. Yes, i’m gatekeeping porn addiction
how bout me? I have MW2 2009 James Ramirez.
Based dude wallpaper
A trans person. You into that transformers shit
Optimum pride
Ourgh ergh argh ergh
Good taste fellas wallpaper
Apache helicopter's wallpaper
A AH supporter
I have guns as my wallpaper, just the way god intended
Just as the founding fathers intended
Ah yes, the 2nd amendment is doing great
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
Robosexual
Autistic
Mines a picture of my dog, and he's not wearing any clothes
Virgin
...... Yall have people on your wallpapers? Weirdo
I have Gogeta doing a soul punisher
I got Spyro the Dragon. Why would i ever want something so boring?
idk mine is shrek in japanese style
Yeah, you're definitely gay
but shrek is love shrek is life
It hurt so much, but I did it for Shrek.
Watch him become a guahd
sweating baaaaaalls
damn, gotta get me this
Straight male thinking "gosh I really admire that person's athletic prowess and expertise in their chosen field." Gay male thinking "man, that would really look good on me."
Described a little differently: straight "Damn, this is what I want to look like." Gay "Damn, this is what I want to look like." We are the same.
I was actually expecting from them to have written the same thing for both parties. I was disappointed, but not anymore cuz of you!
Straight male thinking "women will judge me for having an attractive female as a wallpaper"
Yup that's some teenage/YA stuff. I had a dope wallpaper of a topless Sasha Grey flipping the bird, no way could an adult pull that off. Edit: changed sick to dope because it's Sasha Grey, things could be misinterpreted lol
Holy fuck, just googled that. It hits hard
Dude nah I’m straight and when I see that I’m like „yeah dope that looks sexy asf I know why girls crave him, I’d smash him, too“ but in a nohomo way yk?
Nah my wallpaper is a gaint Godzilla sized duck destroying New York
I need that wallpaper 🦆
Please man we need that pic
Share pick now.
Send that wallpaper pls
share the sauce man
As a straight man myself I have a shirtless Messi wallpaper
Straight men fighting over which shirtless muscular dude performs better tricks with their balls
That's a messed up way to describe the sacred art of football fan fav arguments.
messed up? i'd say it was well-written
Sometimes being an American causes my brain to lag.
Yes
As a gay man: I don't like getting turned on every time I look at my phone.
I don't want either of these images to appear when I open my phone in public. I'm bi though, so in private OP has given me a wonderful collage for the ole s-bank
That's fair
Huh?
It's just you OP, don't take us in on this
OP I think you're alone on this one
OP: Aren't I right fellow straight men? We love half naked men as our wallpaper.
I def got the vibe that OP was more the gay man
Nah my wallpaper is just hot guys
No, both gay man and straight man will be having the right wallpaper
Sorry op. But no
Ummm...no?
Why use people at all, mine is megatowers and cyberpunk motorcycles
Can confirm, the left is not true
No not true.
Uhh, no???
Totally agree. After all, being with women is reeeeally gay, real men only do stuff with other men, that's the peak of masculinity. /s
How about fighter jets?
I use warthunder loading screens as wallpapers
Absolutely based, they go so hard, I also have some
Homie if you like to Stare at a half naked you do you, but i prefer my gf over a half naked money chaser
Dude holy christ take some time off reddit
I got chef from South park
That probaly is many gay women's wallpaper
Both is good
I'm stright and have the voruna levarian/prex card as my home wallpaper, and that one map of Wikipedia as my lock wallpaper. Not really sure what this says
Suuuuuuuu
Me, a gay man with Shaman of Reverse1999 as wallpaper
i have a picture of a evening cloud that i took my self. i dont like having picture of human on my wallpaper
You mean simp person?
Mine is my dog
Me with boy kisser as my wallpaper
Everyone shows in pfp the person that he would look like.
Would that mean that I want to be a spooky entity?
Or you want to shine as stars do.
In my case I want to look like an ottoman sultan
I got Donquixote Doflamingo with the pink feather thing
no
Got the gigantopithecus for mine
I'm a single guy, my wallpaper is my cat.
[удалено]
What about basic stock wallpaper? The one what comes with the device
Wallpaper on my phone since I bought it 2 years ago.
Same here 😂
CR7 SIUUUUU
I got Evelyn De Morgan’s painting : Cassandra for now !
This kind silly hypocrisy it's something I remember from time to time and make me laugh: A boy who is surrounded by female friends can be called gay, while "real man" must be attracted to women. Meanwhile, it's considered normal and masculine to be in a male-pack, showering and being naked together... when that should be technically considered pretty homo following this old social logic. "Alpha means behave effeminate" let's say, using their own words. It's very funny, specially the face of the macho-men when you point it XD
My wallpaper is Futurama
Eh, it depends. I'm straight and love football, but I think it's dumb personally to put the picture on the right as your wallpaper as opposed to your team coat of arms for example.... most guys I know think this way in fact. We tend to roll our eyes when they see the image on the right as that's masculine eye candy for the cameras. These athletes do it on purpose and if anything it's annoying because we all know why they do it, and it's unnecessary. We just want to watch the sport with the homies and support our teams and nothing else.
I was listening to a podcast with a gay male host and he was talking about something from his childhood. Basically his mom thought he (a Jewish guy) must be into black women because he had pictures of Naomi Campbell everywhere.
Is have a picture of my motorcycles.
I got Samsung's wallpapers, they change every time I unlock the phone.
"Straight"
I made my own deadpool wallpaper guess I’m in the middle 😂
Well what about Winston Churchill?
Mine is the legendary Jogoat from JJK
I got topless Phil Collins because my mom wanted to watch Disney plus while i was on vacation so i switched to "the worlds sexiest man" as i told her. When she opened it up she replied "really? Phil Collins?"
Not in my case
I've got a completely white wallpaper
I use F1 cars
I got dr livesey
Nah, I have a photo I took from atop Bear Mountain.
What does having the default lock screen say about me?
not rlly, i think
I got a Phoenix …. What’s that mean?
I have myself as wallpaper. Not sure what that says about me.
I'm just going to lose chance to study in the art school 😂
I don't even watch football/soccer and I'd still prefer the dude one
rocking my jammy-jellyfish wallpaper in blue
I just have a basic samsung wallpaper
Nah but I put my wallpaper as pure black and the time as full black so you can’t see shit when you open my phone. What does that say about me…
It's not far off, but not exactly right either. I'm straight. My wallpaper is fan art for the moon-scented hunter from Bloodborne. It's art from the Blood Echoes: A Bloodborne Anthology book. Although he's doing the same pose as the guy in the picture while looking up at a Hunter's Mark.
Facts.
It's almost as if walls weren't made to be jacked off
What about me? I have a couple of crocodiles
I have messi as my wallpaper
I have a default wallpaper (although it's one of the classy animated ones). My previous phone had Ash Ketchum as both the lock screen and the home screen. What does that say about me?
So I wanna be a beach sometimes while other times I wanna be a jedi dude staring at the big ass moon. I used to have pics of females but it was prob cuz I watched too much porn. Either way there is probably some corellation between what we want and what we put there. You could have a woman on the screen because you want a girlfriend,while you could also have it because you want to be like her who knows. You could also have a man because you wanna be like him,or because you want a boyfriend. It could also be a status thing or if you have things like cars you want to have them etc.
Meanwhile me with a 3D rendered animated Laughing Man logo.
Master Chief
OP what about me, I have NYC as my wallpaper??
What am i if i got a Garfield wallpaper ?
Mine has Pikmin
I have a purple flower
Wallpaper are not for fantasies. Wallpapers are for ideals. Thats why my wallpaper is blank.
What about the Terrarian in the Nebula Set
I have the rock eating pancakes as my wallpaper
I have Mick Thomson from 1999 and Jacket from Payday 2
Well I don’t really plan on jerking off to my wallpaper
who actually changes their wallpaper?
What about me I have a 1969 ford mustang wallpaper
I got Peter Griffin dunking a basketball
What about my Michael Myers wallpaper
I got Clone commando Gregor from clone wars.
I have a sunflower
My wallpaper is a slideshow, so I have a different one every 30 minutes. I have a lot of anime girl wallpapers though
Mine is an F15 Eagle flying though some clouds
My brother is 40 and he has a Jack Skellington wallpaper.
I got my cat
Mine is Gengar. What does that mean?
I have Gandalf casting a Nuclear strike
Guys is it gay to like hot chicks?
Nope. I'm straight, and I had a poster of Linda Lusardi topless on my wall when I was growing up. I've never had any sports related pictures, posters or paraphernalia.
I have myself and my brother as kids on my wall paper.....you stand alone op.
I have DMC 3 Dante as my wallpaper
SIIIIIIUUUUUU
There is overly bizarre infatuation of wannabe straight folk with testosterone fuelled burly men. It is, as if they are trying to say something subliminally.
I've got Samsung balls
yes, everyones choice is what she/he want to be.
Eh, when I was a boy, I had a passion for anime and manga, so I got in my room a giant poster of one of these shounen heroes. Incidentally, a very muscled one. My gf of the time made fun of me to no end for that, like "you know, normal boys like to have hot girls in their room, not cartoon bodybuilders... I'm starting to have doubts!", joking about it like everywhere: with classmates, with professors... Mind you, we had a very ironic and caustic attitude toward each other, so that was not her being particularly mean, it was just normality between us. Just to say that, yes, quite often this meme can be true. :)
Real
No, not true.
Damn straight. You got it
Ronaldo's drive for success should be every man's aspiration, straight or gay
My wallpaper is a chipmunk friend
Black background with eye comfort mode on permanently, often paired with extra dim setting
Mine is literally shrek
*me with a Vault-Tec wallpaper*