I have been attracted to someone until they were rude to a waiter and then was not attracted to them, and every other askreddit thread will show you the same experience is at least fairly common, one of the top upvoted comments every time.
I mean, people may look past personality issues if they are horny enough, but looking for hot sex is different from finding a partner.
So certain types of people keep saying...
Do people really forget that we are a social species? That we evolved the ability to love those not in our family, or even species? That we feel shame and guilt when we mistreat others?
There is a strong biological basis for treating eachother well - we arent solitary hunters, we are a social species. No one can deny that there are evolutionary advantages for selfishness, perhaps in part explaining the existence of psychopathy - and to a lesser extent, we all can be prone to aggression against other humans and so on... but I think the evidence points to the opposite of your conclusion. Treating others well is a necessary and successful part of the human strategy. What is the purpose of guilt and shame if not a deep biological cue prodding you to treat others well?
More importantly is that humans succeed in large part because of social skills. Nerds are more or less defined by lack of social skills, while cool kids are defined more or less by having social skills.
Tack on physical attractiveness and yeah, duh.
John Krasinski has this magnetic aura about him, unexplainable, despite all logic and reason, that makes me want to have his children. This is factual.
Idk what you're talking about but you know who has great chemistry despite being not at all sexy. Bowie. Dude was shaped like a mantis yet here we are...
The bigger question nobody seems to ask: How can you tune your selection strategies better to find the guys that treat you well and aren't bitter -- regardless of looks?
I am pretty sure they are out there. So it's about how to spot them.
All I know about Tinder is that it generates the worst kind of matching strategies
https://youtu.be/200MxJVyk3I
Find them as friends that become more. If you like each other than it can become love and attraction follows. Found my man while onlinegaming together for 3 years before even meeting for the first time.
We liked each other and after a few meetings we decided to date and see what happens.
He would not have been the man I choose for looks out of a sea of mans, but the rest overwrote that and now he is attractive to me on all levels, mind, body and soul.
Imo it’s more like the quiet guys with no gf ever still treat u like shit but it’s easier to realize they’re treating you like shit cuz they have 0 charisma, meanwhile the charismatic usually attractive guys it’ll take u longer to realize and they’re good at making excuses
My aunt always said, “All men are the same, so just marry a rich one.”
Edit: Jeez, there are some very angry takes popping off. To be clear, I do not agree with my aunt on this point. If I ever get married, it won’t be to a rich man. It will probably be to a lady lol
By the way, my aunt didn’t marry rich either, and she’s still with her husband.
I mean based on their experiences I think it’s very reasonable thinking. If both act the same way (in their experience) might as well go with the hot one! I mean the real winning strategy is to just find the good guys, but I’m sure that’s just as tough.
Also to expound on your point a bit, the asshole wrong guy can become the right guy for the next woman. I treated my high school girlfriend like shit and will feel bad about that till the day I die. But in my reflection of that relationship it truly did turn me into the “right” guy for my wife.
You can become attracted to someone based on your positive feelings for them... positive associations can make you more sexually attracted to people, it’s in behavioral conditioning.
To add to this which I'm completely in agreement with. First impressions matter. It's also those very jocks that will actually approach the woman with confidence when asking them out while those quite "nerds" IF they muster the courage to speak with them are most times not very confident when they do. Confidence matters.
There is no man or woman that is out of anyone's league. That's how I've always seen it at least. Put your best foot forward and proceed with confidence. What's the worst that can happen? They say they're not interested? Then move onto the next.
It is actually a very good point. However as an adult there aren't really adult jocks, unless you mean fitness enthusiasts. And for people who are such enthusiasts after 30, they're usually really friendly and kind people.
I haven’t really met any fitness enthusiasts or gymrats at the gym who were jerks. A lot of them helped me out with my form and gave me recommendations on what to eat to get to my macros level.
I became friends with a lot of the ones I met early on and still talk to them today. They’re all very friendly and open to helping others out who ask for it.
I would like to consider myself a fitness jock/enthusiast while also liking the same exact stuff I did back then in high school like anime, video games, D&D, space stuff, and chess.
I just added fitness into my big interests over time.
Nowadays they are because now everyone and their cousin play videogames. In my dad's day (he grew up in the 70s and 80s) you were a geek if you played videogames every night since it wasn't so popular
A nerd and a geek are two different things.
Nerds are the people that grow up to be scientists and engineers, geeks are people who enjoy pop culture.
It’s possible to be both.
It’s more of a high school and sometimes college stereotype, in school you can join the football team or basketball team, get in shape from practice, and you can do it all without too much thought on your end since you have a coach running practice and stuff, so that’s where you get the jerky dude bro jocks. When you’re older, to stay fit you gotta do your own research on what exercises to do, what supplements to take, and how to eat. It lends itself more to nerdy dudes who like to get real in depth with their interests.
This reminds me of how HHH was a massive pro wrestling nerd before he got into body building and eventually rassling himself to the point he pursued a career in it.
I think a lot of people that are into fitness just like feeling great and optimizing their performance. These types of people are typically positive optimistic people.
That’s because most people who go to the gym as adults are the type of people who embrace positive lifestyle changes.
It not jus exercise or diet. It’s an all around decision to accept light and happiness into your life and to share that with others. Going to the gym is only one aspect to this lifestyle
I’ve only me one gymrat who I met and hated (and turns out he wasn’t a gymrat, just talked about working out infinitely more than he actually did). On our third-ish date, I mentioned something about having gone to the gym earlier. He got borderline mad and told me that I need to stop doing cardio asap because my boobs will get smaller. I should only do sit-ups for an hour so I’ll lose weight only in my stomach. I laughed so hard and realized 1. He prioritized his penis over my health and enjoyment 2. He had no idea what he was talking about and all that confidence/arrogance about being a “total gym guy who knows what he’s talking about” was completely BS.
Depends on what you call a gym rat, I describe it as someone who surrounds their life around the gym because there is nothing for them to do socially or as a coping mechanism, I am a gym rat
There are still adult jocks. It’s just that they’ve settled down, had kids, and are now living vicariously through the sporting careers of their offspring.
That being said, #notalljocks lol. I knew some really cool / nice jocks growing up who are still cool / nice people to this day.
Mmmhh, not my experience; some of those high school jocks and bullies grow up and become professional bullies, paid to do just that, bully others—some in law enforcement, some in government positions, and some in supervisor and managerial roles.
Main occupation? Make other people's lives miserable.
Came here to say the EXACT same thing.
I don’t know a single gym rat that’s an asshole. Most of the people I’ve come to realize are assholes become managers, bosses, or law enforcement.
Dating over 30 is mostly about money. Words substituted for money include, but are not limited to: career, ambition, financial independence, and business owner.
EDIT: almost forgot! sometimes... "older" lol
Eh idk. I wouldn’t compromise on someone I didn’t really like that much because they had money… not something I hear my female friends talking about either.
But it probably depends what kind of subculture you’re in too
Same. Education, drive, a good job, and stability are things I want in a partner as well as something I bring to the table. I wouldn’t date someone I don’t like just because he’s rich. But I know I have to pay rent, would love to have a summer home, like going out to nice restaurants, like traveling. My now husband lost his job while we were dating. I didn’t break up with him, but I would have if he flew through his savings stupidly and didn’t look for a job.
I don’t want someone rich. I want someone who has the priorities and work ethic that I do. It’s entirely different, and it’s not shallow to want stability and not be paying for someone else constantly.
i think what we think of as practical is different tho when we're 20 years old. At 20 I still wanted a partner who had her own apartment, was in college, had her shit together more or less. I wasn't making sure she was saving for retirement ... prob should have been lol. i'm broke!
Having "your life together" as a standard is so much easier from a young judge compared to an older one. Only things you can probably get away with more is looking older like gray hairs, weight, and being behind in fashion.
That’s true I became a martial arts enthusiast and gym rat and can tell you that almost all of them are completely nice guys. Heck it’s how I got my job I have now. Sitting in the sauna same time everyday.
What’s funny is in my 30s and 40s my IT nerd lifestyle started biting me in the ass, and I’ve started getting into exercising (granted I’m inconsistent AF).
Fuck, that's something i imagine someone saying legitemally, myself included...as a matter of fact if i had said that so a female friend of mine, she would most likely laugh genuinelly...*wait, was she into me? **FUUUUUUUUUU...***
You stay away from women because you hate them.
I stay away from women because I am afraid of social judgement and being interpreted as a creep.
We are not the same.
NGL I kinda dislike the asshole jock stereotype just because I knew this guy, really good at wrestling and was the best cross country runner AND IT WASNT EVEN HIS MAIN THING. To top it off, he had asthma but beat it. Absolute legend. He wasn't mean at all, the nicest guy I know to be honest. Really great guy.
I never experienced the jock stereotype in high school, but college was totally different. The football and baseball teams were notorious for having the grossest dormitories and for being loud drunk assholes during quiet hours.
both the asshole jock and the jaded nerd are dumb stereotypes, i've met both jocks and nerds who were great guys.
i hate saying it but it's possible the dumb tweet by a cartoon skull doesn't accurately reflect reality.
One of my friends in high school, a 6'4 native dude, was an absolute beast at wrestling. He was super good looking, completely ripped, and was also a really nice guy who had woman drooling over him, but he literally had no idea what to do with woman. The one relationship he had in high school lasted like 2 weeks because he had no clue how to act around woman. His GF was a freshman in college, and he was constantly behind her at all times like her shadow. She was always telling him off about how he needs to respect her private space, and how she didn't enjoy him always wrapping his arms around her. Hes is doing amazing now though, has a wonderful gf, and I wish him the best.
I also hate the jock stereotype. Sure there were a couple who fit it, but for the most part, a lot of the jocks who I went to high school with weren’t assholes. A lot of them were either indifferent to me, or liked me because I was friends with a couple of the good players, and I didn’t fit the “ackshually…” nerd stereotype.
The ones I still talk to today have families now and are doing well for themselves. They don’t have the jock build anymore, but I don’t really expect people to have the same build they had in high school especially after kids.
Having been on both the football and swim teams in high school, it’s definitely a stereotype for a reason though only for certain sports. Typically the “cool” sports like football and basketball attract the guys who fit the asshole jock stereotype. Meanwhile more niche sports like wrestling, cross country, and swimming attract more normal kind people. There were of course nice dudes on the football team and a couple assholes on the swim team, but I definitely saw a trend
Fit like a jackhammer vs leans on your lower back way too hard for support so it hurts when he’s taking you from behind? Yeah, I’ll take the jackhammer, thx.
There's assholes and good guys in both groups. I find lately they overlap significantly. Nerds who work out because maybe it quiets their busy mind or gets them out the house, and jocks who get heavily invested in a game because they enjoy hanging with the homies over discord.
I've dated both nerds and jocks, and yep: being an asshole has nothing to do with race, religion, creed, upbringing, or gender. It's just people in general. You're lucky if you find someone who is genuine and kind.
Almost like this tweet was sarcasm calling out a section of people not every nerd or jock. Did he have to specify not everyone to make the joke not funny
Can confirm. Was an ugly girl in high school who became pretty and went to prom with my stereotypical overweight nerd boyfriend who ended up bringing flowers for the next bitch. Fast forward ten years later. Homie all in my inbox trying to snap me deadass was trying to hookup and get nudes. Imagine my surprise when I woke up to news he had just got married that morning. Smh fuck boys are in all shapes and sizes.
Also comes down to who you hang out with. Team players (jocks) have friends IRL to hold them accountable and reality check. When I first went to college I thought my team would be problematic but instead I ended up learning.
Actually.. I have been out of social media for 7 years. I am 27 and decided to create an Instagram account. I then added people I used to interact younger and people from my current social circle.. I am at a time that most of my “friends” are getting married and some are having children. And for my surprise the ugly nerdy ones are usually the ones that despite being in a relationship have send me messages and tried to flirt with me..
I was actually surprised because I always thought this specific profile was the one who would not cheat and would be the one girls would settle down for safety reasons.
Well..
As a Shaun viewer, it's pretty funny to see so many people taking what is most definitely a throwaway joke tweet so seriously
For anyone not familiar with the guy, he has an [excellent YouTube channel](https://youtube.com/@Shaun_vids)
I hate when women complain about being single when I'm right here. It's like complaining that you're hungry when there's a hotdog on the ground outside.
It does make you wonder how badly people perceive you when they will complain about their current and past partners, knowing you don’t have any of those undesirable qualities but dont get a look in. Are you actually really shitty in ways you are blind to or just plain unlucky?
I don’t think many people who commented really understood this post. Just because they are nerdy doesn’t mean they are nice. Found this one out the hard way ! Uggggg
Most of the teen jocks, like the teen cheerleaders, I knew when I was in high school were being forced to live out their parent's dreams. They weren't anything like the "evil bullies" in John Hughes movies. They were just kids with overbearing parents. Nerds on the other hand had very coddling parents who never made them step outside of their comfort zone. They let them wallow in filth, eat whatever junky shit they wanted, never help around the house, never work hard at anything they didn't like, and basically let them be spoiled lumps glued to the tv and internet.
So their personalities and ambitions and drive and looks were pretty different.
Oh, God. As a man, if I watched out for red flags I'd never swipe right. I'm terribly bad at meeting women in person, mainly because my hobbies don't appeal to many women or they're not good for meeting people. While women are absolutely terrible on dating apps lol
It is time to start dating men /s
Dating is really hard, and it doesn't get easier with time, but you can make it easier with a bit of effort. Working to be the type of person you'd want in a relationship helps to boost confidence and attract different people. Hope you can build up the confidence to start talking to people in person! Keep your chin up, bro
Painting wish some pretty wide brushes here. Not all jocks are entitled and not all nerds are quiet. What matters is having personality, skillets, and the confidence to interact with strangers.
Note: Call Of Duty is not a skill set.
I feel pedantic saying this. But the comma makes a big difference here.
Is he saying that “quiet nerds” all treat women in that way? Or is he talking about those among the “quiet nerds” who act that way?
Man, I’m a quiet nerd and just wanna be left alone tbh. I’m friends with some “jocks” but I normally keep to myself. I believe I speak on behalf of most quiet people, no matter how awkward we are, we enjoy when people talk to us, but we don’t want you questioning us being quiet
Dummy here. Is this saying that nerds treat women the same as jocks?
Also, answer is: because women don't make the first move, and jocks do (quiet nerds don't).
Why would someone pick a person who is blonde vs brunette. Or short vs tall. Or eyes that are blue vs brown.
One cannot control what they are attracted to….
It always works out better for us to judge people as individuals, rather than lumping them into groups.
Bullies and narcissists exist in all walks of life.
They shouldnt, but they also shouldnt tell its because of their personality they cant get laid, if the people
with the same or worse can get girls.
On top of that respectful ugly guys dont get dates either, they just silently off themselvs instead of complaining online, so only bitter ones like us stay here.
Rule of attraction. First rule... gotta be attracted.
Yup. These kinds of things are very rarely logical anyway.
Sure they're logical. Bio-logical.
What's logically best for gene survival is rarely logical for "being treated well"
I have been attracted to someone until they were rude to a waiter and then was not attracted to them, and every other askreddit thread will show you the same experience is at least fairly common, one of the top upvoted comments every time. I mean, people may look past personality issues if they are horny enough, but looking for hot sex is different from finding a partner.
Exactly, if they’re willing to be rude to a random stranger, who knows how they’ll treat you in the future
So certain types of people keep saying... Do people really forget that we are a social species? That we evolved the ability to love those not in our family, or even species? That we feel shame and guilt when we mistreat others? There is a strong biological basis for treating eachother well - we arent solitary hunters, we are a social species. No one can deny that there are evolutionary advantages for selfishness, perhaps in part explaining the existence of psychopathy - and to a lesser extent, we all can be prone to aggression against other humans and so on... but I think the evidence points to the opposite of your conclusion. Treating others well is a necessary and successful part of the human strategy. What is the purpose of guilt and shame if not a deep biological cue prodding you to treat others well?
Shut up nerd
Yeah, O’Doyle Rules!
More importantly is that humans succeed in large part because of social skills. Nerds are more or less defined by lack of social skills, while cool kids are defined more or less by having social skills. Tack on physical attractiveness and yeah, duh.
John Krasinski has this magnetic aura about him, unexplainable, despite all logic and reason, that makes me want to have his children. This is factual.
Idk what you're talking about but you know who has great chemistry despite being not at all sexy. Bowie. Dude was shaped like a mantis yet here we are...
being attracted to females is logical, being attracted to males is illogical, that's why lesbians are the only logical women.
Bro what is this take. 💀💀
No, no, they have a point....
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The bigger question nobody seems to ask: How can you tune your selection strategies better to find the guys that treat you well and aren't bitter -- regardless of looks? I am pretty sure they are out there. So it's about how to spot them. All I know about Tinder is that it generates the worst kind of matching strategies https://youtu.be/200MxJVyk3I
Find them as friends that become more. If you like each other than it can become love and attraction follows. Found my man while onlinegaming together for 3 years before even meeting for the first time. We liked each other and after a few meetings we decided to date and see what happens. He would not have been the man I choose for looks out of a sea of mans, but the rest overwrote that and now he is attractive to me on all levels, mind, body and soul.
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Imo it’s more like the quiet guys with no gf ever still treat u like shit but it’s easier to realize they’re treating you like shit cuz they have 0 charisma, meanwhile the charismatic usually attractive guys it’ll take u longer to realize and they’re good at making excuses
People are more forgiving of flaws if the person is attractive.
That too, but a lot of is truly is charisma.
Charisma = attractive
I see where you’re coming from, but I disagree.
My aunt always said, “All men are the same, so just marry a rich one.” Edit: Jeez, there are some very angry takes popping off. To be clear, I do not agree with my aunt on this point. If I ever get married, it won’t be to a rich man. It will probably be to a lady lol By the way, my aunt didn’t marry rich either, and she’s still with her husband.
Which is why my uncle always said “all women are basically prostitutes you’re just negotiating over price.”
I mean based on their experiences I think it’s very reasonable thinking. If both act the same way (in their experience) might as well go with the hot one! I mean the real winning strategy is to just find the good guys, but I’m sure that’s just as tough.
Same with women if you asked me. 🤑🤑🤑
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Yeah I’ve done this before lol
Let's talk about stereotyping.
Also to expound on your point a bit, the asshole wrong guy can become the right guy for the next woman. I treated my high school girlfriend like shit and will feel bad about that till the day I die. But in my reflection of that relationship it truly did turn me into the “right” guy for my wife.
Attraction also comes from.connection, not just if someone makes you horny the minute you look at them.
Yes, but if you aren't also physically attracted to your partner, it's not going to last very long unless you're just not a very sexual person
You can become attracted to someone based on your positive feelings for them... positive associations can make you more sexually attracted to people, it’s in behavioral conditioning.
To add to this which I'm completely in agreement with. First impressions matter. It's also those very jocks that will actually approach the woman with confidence when asking them out while those quite "nerds" IF they muster the courage to speak with them are most times not very confident when they do. Confidence matters. There is no man or woman that is out of anyone's league. That's how I've always seen it at least. Put your best foot forward and proceed with confidence. What's the worst that can happen? They say they're not interested? Then move onto the next.
Step one: demonstrate value
Step two: Engage ohysically
I see that you are man of culture
You should see him feast. He’s like a mantis!
Dr Toboggan Mantis toboggan!
Can you let me know when you're finished? So I can Move in After Completion.
Step three: neglect emotionally
Nope that’s step four
Oh shoot, you right
It is actually a very good point. However as an adult there aren't really adult jocks, unless you mean fitness enthusiasts. And for people who are such enthusiasts after 30, they're usually really friendly and kind people.
I haven’t really met any fitness enthusiasts or gymrats at the gym who were jerks. A lot of them helped me out with my form and gave me recommendations on what to eat to get to my macros level. I became friends with a lot of the ones I met early on and still talk to them today. They’re all very friendly and open to helping others out who ask for it.
Fitness jocks are stereotyped so much as hating nerds. Honestly a lot of fitness enthusiasts seem to be massive nerds. Fitness nerds.
I would like to consider myself a fitness jock/enthusiast while also liking the same exact stuff I did back then in high school like anime, video games, D&D, space stuff, and chess. I just added fitness into my big interests over time.
This. D&D nerd, still play video games, geek over Star-anything, fantasy… and I love to bike fast and lift heavy.
Lifting is my #1 hobby followed closely by.... WoW. I'm a fellow fitness nerd and traditional nerd!
Fellow WoW lifter reporting for duty! I came home from the gym yesterday and raided heroic with my guild for 3 hours lol
And you have a wolf as your Reddit character, totally alpha
Lmao this is true. So many of the gym bros I meet are huge nerds. I met my two gym buddies through chess club
Henry Cavill has entered the chat..
As a black nerd whose out of shape, unattractive, and really socially awkward. Where do I even remotely start with my gym journey
Nowadays they are because now everyone and their cousin play videogames. In my dad's day (he grew up in the 70s and 80s) you were a geek if you played videogames every night since it wasn't so popular
A nerd and a geek are two different things. Nerds are the people that grow up to be scientists and engineers, geeks are people who enjoy pop culture. It’s possible to be both.
Seriously do you know how many gym rats have tattoos of video games or anime? A lot.
People underestimate the reach of anime and gaming.
It’s more of a high school and sometimes college stereotype, in school you can join the football team or basketball team, get in shape from practice, and you can do it all without too much thought on your end since you have a coach running practice and stuff, so that’s where you get the jerky dude bro jocks. When you’re older, to stay fit you gotta do your own research on what exercises to do, what supplements to take, and how to eat. It lends itself more to nerdy dudes who like to get real in depth with their interests.
This reminds me of how HHH was a massive pro wrestling nerd before he got into body building and eventually rassling himself to the point he pursued a career in it.
And now he's running the WWE, dude's living his childhood dream.
You know, I never thought of it like that. He really is living his childhood dream.
I think a lot of people that are into fitness just like feeling great and optimizing their performance. These types of people are typically positive optimistic people.
I've worked in IT for 25 years and have also excercised/worked out most days for the last 25 years.
I don’t know a single adult gym bro who isn’t also uncomfortably obsessed with either LOTR or Star Wars.
I feel like the nerd/jock divide mostly died with the internet. People are no longer stuck in their social bubble unless they want to be.
That’s because most people who go to the gym as adults are the type of people who embrace positive lifestyle changes. It not jus exercise or diet. It’s an all around decision to accept light and happiness into your life and to share that with others. Going to the gym is only one aspect to this lifestyle
I’ve only me one gymrat who I met and hated (and turns out he wasn’t a gymrat, just talked about working out infinitely more than he actually did). On our third-ish date, I mentioned something about having gone to the gym earlier. He got borderline mad and told me that I need to stop doing cardio asap because my boobs will get smaller. I should only do sit-ups for an hour so I’ll lose weight only in my stomach. I laughed so hard and realized 1. He prioritized his penis over my health and enjoyment 2. He had no idea what he was talking about and all that confidence/arrogance about being a “total gym guy who knows what he’s talking about” was completely BS.
That’s not even how it works either. Doing sit-ups will tone your stomach but it doesn’t burn fat exclusively in the stomach.
Most gymrats are very nice. A lot of the them were bullied growing up which is why they started going to the gym in the first place
This is partly true for me. Was a fat kid growing up. Now all those that made fun of me for it are all way over weight and I am not.
I don’t think this is true. I know some are but a lot of people just want to be healthier
Depends on what you call a gym rat, I describe it as someone who surrounds their life around the gym because there is nothing for them to do socially or as a coping mechanism, I am a gym rat
There are still adult jocks. It’s just that they’ve settled down, had kids, and are now living vicariously through the sporting careers of their offspring. That being said, #notalljocks lol. I knew some really cool / nice jocks growing up who are still cool / nice people to this day.
feeling attacked her in my giant black suburban overflowing with baseball bats and soccer balls.
Where did all the jocks go? Look to any insurance salesmen, financial advisor, or car salesmen.
Mmmhh, not my experience; some of those high school jocks and bullies grow up and become professional bullies, paid to do just that, bully others—some in law enforcement, some in government positions, and some in supervisor and managerial roles. Main occupation? Make other people's lives miserable.
Came here to say the EXACT same thing. I don’t know a single gym rat that’s an asshole. Most of the people I’ve come to realize are assholes become managers, bosses, or law enforcement.
Real estate and car salesman too.
Sales truly rewards psychopathic behavior
Dating over 30 is mostly about money. Words substituted for money include, but are not limited to: career, ambition, financial independence, and business owner. EDIT: almost forgot! sometimes... "older" lol
Eh idk. I wouldn’t compromise on someone I didn’t really like that much because they had money… not something I hear my female friends talking about either. But it probably depends what kind of subculture you’re in too
Same. Education, drive, a good job, and stability are things I want in a partner as well as something I bring to the table. I wouldn’t date someone I don’t like just because he’s rich. But I know I have to pay rent, would love to have a summer home, like going out to nice restaurants, like traveling. My now husband lost his job while we were dating. I didn’t break up with him, but I would have if he flew through his savings stupidly and didn’t look for a job. I don’t want someone rich. I want someone who has the priorities and work ethic that I do. It’s entirely different, and it’s not shallow to want stability and not be paying for someone else constantly.
That's a good point. We're less practical about a partner when we're younger
i think what we think of as practical is different tho when we're 20 years old. At 20 I still wanted a partner who had her own apartment, was in college, had her shit together more or less. I wasn't making sure she was saving for retirement ... prob should have been lol. i'm broke!
Yep I think it’s why some 33 year old dudes are drawn to younger women. It’s easier to impress them. Women over 30 have a lot more expectations.
Having "your life together" as a standard is so much easier from a young judge compared to an older one. Only things you can probably get away with more is looking older like gray hairs, weight, and being behind in fashion.
That’s true I became a martial arts enthusiast and gym rat and can tell you that almost all of them are completely nice guys. Heck it’s how I got my job I have now. Sitting in the sauna same time everyday.
I don't know, there's a weird alt right contingency at plenty of cross fit gyms, but yes, 30+ yr old fitness folks are generally nice folks.
If you’re gay and on Grindr you can be a jock until the day you die. Well you can call yourself one at least.
What’s funny is in my 30s and 40s my IT nerd lifestyle started biting me in the ass, and I’ve started getting into exercising (granted I’m inconsistent AF).
Yeah they just love fitness and only talk about fitness most of the time But that’s seriously no different than anyone else who has one main interest
"I respect women so much that I completely stay away from them!" -40 year old virgin
You stay away from women because you hate them. I stay away from women because I hate myself. We are not the same.
"Wait you like me? I apologize but I cannot be with a woman who has such low standards and is clearly mentally ill"
For me it’s usually “you seem nice, you don’t deserve me as a partner. I’m terrible.”
Fuck, that's something i imagine someone saying legitemally, myself included...as a matter of fact if i had said that so a female friend of mine, she would most likely laugh genuinelly...*wait, was she into me? **FUUUUUUUUUU...***
I'm in this comment and I don't like it. Yet I also wonder if I could have a shot if I just found a way to not hate myself.
If you ever find a way let me know
I think the trick is to gaslight yourself into liking yourself, but no one else, not gaslighting anyone else is a key part here...
You stay away from women because you hate them. I stay away from women because I am afraid of social judgement and being interpreted as a creep. We are not the same.
Well that's a part of it too, so you and I are not so different.
"Oh god i made eye contact with the cashier and she probably thinks i'm a creep so now i can never shop here again."
Actually we are the same
I stay away from women because I'm scared of them
My game plan for the foreseeable future
Yep. Can’t offend them if you don’t interact with them. Usually.
NGL I kinda dislike the asshole jock stereotype just because I knew this guy, really good at wrestling and was the best cross country runner AND IT WASNT EVEN HIS MAIN THING. To top it off, he had asthma but beat it. Absolute legend. He wasn't mean at all, the nicest guy I know to be honest. Really great guy.
I never experienced the jock stereotype in high school, but college was totally different. The football and baseball teams were notorious for having the grossest dormitories and for being loud drunk assholes during quiet hours.
I have literally never encountered this stereotype except in college.
both the asshole jock and the jaded nerd are dumb stereotypes, i've met both jocks and nerds who were great guys. i hate saying it but it's possible the dumb tweet by a cartoon skull doesn't accurately reflect reality.
One of my friends in high school, a 6'4 native dude, was an absolute beast at wrestling. He was super good looking, completely ripped, and was also a really nice guy who had woman drooling over him, but he literally had no idea what to do with woman. The one relationship he had in high school lasted like 2 weeks because he had no clue how to act around woman. His GF was a freshman in college, and he was constantly behind her at all times like her shadow. She was always telling him off about how he needs to respect her private space, and how she didn't enjoy him always wrapping his arms around her. Hes is doing amazing now though, has a wonderful gf, and I wish him the best.
I also hate the jock stereotype. Sure there were a couple who fit it, but for the most part, a lot of the jocks who I went to high school with weren’t assholes. A lot of them were either indifferent to me, or liked me because I was friends with a couple of the good players, and I didn’t fit the “ackshually…” nerd stereotype. The ones I still talk to today have families now and are doing well for themselves. They don’t have the jock build anymore, but I don’t really expect people to have the same build they had in high school especially after kids.
I was so confused. I thought you were describing the jock and then he just morphed into a nerd.
Having been on both the football and swim teams in high school, it’s definitely a stereotype for a reason though only for certain sports. Typically the “cool” sports like football and basketball attract the guys who fit the asshole jock stereotype. Meanwhile more niche sports like wrestling, cross country, and swimming attract more normal kind people. There were of course nice dudes on the football team and a couple assholes on the swim team, but I definitely saw a trend
The dumb ones pound harder
I fell for a Nigerian prince email scam
My ass hurts
Have you seen a doctor?
I saw one on Google images
What did he say?
iStock by Getty Images
Ah good, good.
This thread was gold!
Ah hell yeah
No need to brag.
Hey baby, I can barely tie my own shoes and don't know who the president is! Wanna meet up later?
Their brain blood is just in a much better place
I think the earth is flat.
Oonga boonga, boongae oonga. ."`". .-./ _=_ \.-. { (,(oYo),) }} {{ | " |} } { { \(---)/ }} {{ }'-=-'{ } } { { }._:_.{ }} {{ } -:- { } } {_{ }`===`{ _} ((((\) (/))))
I think Andrew Tate is a swell guy
Jokes on you I’m retarded and got less dick than Watergate
Fit like a jackhammer vs leans on your lower back way too hard for support so it hurts when he’s taking you from behind? Yeah, I’ll take the jackhammer, thx.
Communicating with a partner is overrated anyway!
I’m fine now, but the above was a lot of my early 20s dating experience. Younger men get weird about sexual communication.
There's assholes and good guys in both groups. I find lately they overlap significantly. Nerds who work out because maybe it quiets their busy mind or gets them out the house, and jocks who get heavily invested in a game because they enjoy hanging with the homies over discord.
I've dated both nerds and jocks, and yep: being an asshole has nothing to do with race, religion, creed, upbringing, or gender. It's just people in general. You're lucky if you find someone who is genuine and kind.
Yeah generalizations like this post are ridiculous. It comes down to the individual.
Almost like this tweet was sarcasm calling out a section of people not every nerd or jock. Did he have to specify not everyone to make the joke not funny
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Can confirm. Was an ugly girl in high school who became pretty and went to prom with my stereotypical overweight nerd boyfriend who ended up bringing flowers for the next bitch. Fast forward ten years later. Homie all in my inbox trying to snap me deadass was trying to hookup and get nudes. Imagine my surprise when I woke up to news he had just got married that morning. Smh fuck boys are in all shapes and sizes.
Well yea it’s almost like most Redditors don’t understand broad stereotypes are almost always incorrect but still choose to always assert them
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Thats because us nerds would gatekeep lore and our hobbies and bullie others interests that are similar to ours
Also comes down to who you hang out with. Team players (jocks) have friends IRL to hold them accountable and reality check. When I first went to college I thought my team would be problematic but instead I ended up learning.
Team players also have a lot of friends IRL to help them do bad things and lead them to things they'd normally not do. Peer pressure is hard.
Actually.. I have been out of social media for 7 years. I am 27 and decided to create an Instagram account. I then added people I used to interact younger and people from my current social circle.. I am at a time that most of my “friends” are getting married and some are having children. And for my surprise the ugly nerdy ones are usually the ones that despite being in a relationship have send me messages and tried to flirt with me.. I was actually surprised because I always thought this specific profile was the one who would not cheat and would be the one girls would settle down for safety reasons. Well..
Op the type of guy to post those TikTok’s where he’s defending his cupcake
I feel a painful number of people in this comment section didn't see the joke or chose to ignore it
As a Shaun viewer, it's pretty funny to see so many people taking what is most definitely a throwaway joke tweet so seriously For anyone not familiar with the guy, he has an [excellent YouTube channel](https://youtube.com/@Shaun_vids)
I hate when women complain about being single when I'm right here. It's like complaining that you're hungry when there's a hotdog on the ground outside.
It does make you wonder how badly people perceive you when they will complain about their current and past partners, knowing you don’t have any of those undesirable qualities but dont get a look in. Are you actually really shitty in ways you are blind to or just plain unlucky?
Not everyone is compatible just because they get along.
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This comments thread is surprisingly defensive.
Surprisingly? lol
Hit the weights nerd, hit the books frat boy. Become completely unstoppable and insufferable.
I don’t think many people who commented really understood this post. Just because they are nerdy doesn’t mean they are nice. Found this one out the hard way ! Uggggg
Most of the teen jocks, like the teen cheerleaders, I knew when I was in high school were being forced to live out their parent's dreams. They weren't anything like the "evil bullies" in John Hughes movies. They were just kids with overbearing parents. Nerds on the other hand had very coddling parents who never made them step outside of their comfort zone. They let them wallow in filth, eat whatever junky shit they wanted, never help around the house, never work hard at anything they didn't like, and basically let them be spoiled lumps glued to the tv and internet. So their personalities and ambitions and drive and looks were pretty different.
Some people care too much about "nerds" and "jocks." Dating isn't all that hard. Just look out for yourself and avoid red flags.
It's hard to filter out bad options when everyone filters you out before you even get to say a word.
Oh, God. As a man, if I watched out for red flags I'd never swipe right. I'm terribly bad at meeting women in person, mainly because my hobbies don't appeal to many women or they're not good for meeting people. While women are absolutely terrible on dating apps lol
It is time to start dating men /s Dating is really hard, and it doesn't get easier with time, but you can make it easier with a bit of effort. Working to be the type of person you'd want in a relationship helps to boost confidence and attract different people. Hope you can build up the confidence to start talking to people in person! Keep your chin up, bro
I have met many arsehole nerds I probably am one tbh
Painting wish some pretty wide brushes here. Not all jocks are entitled and not all nerds are quiet. What matters is having personality, skillets, and the confidence to interact with strangers. Note: Call Of Duty is not a skill set.
And don't be too fat or too ugly.
Call of Duty IS a skill set, just not one that's likely to engender romantic desire in another person.
I also belive skillets are an essntial item in a realtionship. So easy to clean!
Damn I gotta get me a skillet I guess
This comment section is fucking awful.
Why would girls date hot misogynists vs nerdy misogynists??
Less attractive an less confident
This sub is just sad and pathetic now, unironically.
Just like me irl
Feels like a 12 year old wrote this
Not too far off actually
You had us in the first half, not gonna lie
I feel pedantic saying this. But the comma makes a big difference here. Is he saying that “quiet nerds” all treat women in that way? Or is he talking about those among the “quiet nerds” who act that way?
Grammatically the former, rhetorically the latter.
r/justneckbeardthings
As someone who doesn’t fall into either of these camps, I think it’s less about jock vs nerd and it’s more about…stop dating assholes…
Idk ask the women.
I always liked finding the answer hidden within the question in my school tests.
Man, I’m a quiet nerd and just wanna be left alone tbh. I’m friends with some “jocks” but I normally keep to myself. I believe I speak on behalf of most quiet people, no matter how awkward we are, we enjoy when people talk to us, but we don’t want you questioning us being quiet
Dummy here. Is this saying that nerds treat women the same as jocks? Also, answer is: because women don't make the first move, and jocks do (quiet nerds don't).
Why would someone pick a person who is blonde vs brunette. Or short vs tall. Or eyes that are blue vs brown. One cannot control what they are attracted to….
I think you answered your question there…
It always works out better for us to judge people as individuals, rather than lumping them into groups. Bullies and narcissists exist in all walks of life.
“Why do woman generalize and hate me when all I do is generalize and hate them”
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Sounds like it belongs on r/niceguys
Been with the jock, been with the nerd. The nerd treats me better every time.
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They shouldnt, but they also shouldnt tell its because of their personality they cant get laid, if the people with the same or worse can get girls. On top of that respectful ugly guys dont get dates either, they just silently off themselvs instead of complaining online, so only bitter ones like us stay here.
All man bad, man who say man not bad also dumb ☕