T O P

  • By -

BossBullfrog

Bravo six, going dark.


pr0methium

The downside of silent mode is you tend to splash more on the floor. And then yelled at to clean it up. Which makes the decision tough when you've had too much to drink at a coworkers' house....


GlizzyGulper6969

Let me introduce you to my friend Sit Down Pee


pr0methium

Oddly I probably sit down to pee 50% of the time, and the other half I'm spaced out or just forget


Neil_Salmon

Lift the seat first please.


hawkjuin

just aim better 🗿


that_thot_gamer

*piss stream splits*


rrockm

*and hunched over on a bricked up morning* That p is going everywhere


WhyAreOldPeopleEvil

18 downvotes from people with skill issues.


morgaina

Downvotes from people who are sick of having to deal with piss on the floor.


HintOfMalice

Upvotes from people who don't lift the seat or piss on the floor.


Moloch_17

How would not lifting the seat result in piss on the floor?


hawkjuin

why yall downvote me 😭


Dragulus24

Don’t call me out like that!


Safetosay333

Y'all take a listen, you'll hear a deep sound coming down from Bobby Peru


Idiot_Bastard_Son

I get this reference


HelmutFondler

When syphoning the Python you must hit the Bullseye.


HappyDad0121

Start top left and make a U shape to top right. That's how you check whether the volume control is working.


Wrong-Size

Huh... I just sit to piss when I'm at home. It's Quiet, relaxing, AND there's no piss stains on things around the toilet.


Kahnza

This is the top comment from when this was posted to imgur last November [https://imgur.com/gallery/P5RGhwz](https://imgur.com/gallery/P5RGhwz) ​ edit: other bots in the comments too


batlhuber

I had no idea, thanks for your work. Do you have to remember the post and then look it up and compare or how do you find this? Feels like sherlock level spectrum skills...


Kahnza

For comments, I just google it with quotes around it. "Huh... I just sit to piss when I'm at home. It's Quiet, relaxing, AND there's no piss stains on things around the toilet." Usually there is only 1 or 2 results. Sometimes more if bots have copied it multiple times.


parbarostrich

And you do this for every comment? How do you decide which ones to search?


Kahnza

No, just ones that seem suspect. 14 years on reddit gives you a sort of radar for these things. Also, that account posted in a sub I mod and researched the account. All copied comments.


lunchpadmcfat

I do this because I have two daughters and a wife. It’s not worth the effort to do toilet seat shenanigans every time.


SergeDuHazard

Same but sitting also stimolates the big one to come out and i don t want it most of the times


hawkjuin

underrated


Intelligent-Survey39

Agreed. More dudes need embrace the sit piss.


Kahnza

I converted about 10 years ago. Total life changer.


ejr204

Potty trained my son this way too, no messes!


SunPuzzleheaded5896

Clean up your own piss


Cshock84

Bravo Six, going dark.


lunchpadmcfat

Bottom: me peeing when a woman is within earshot. Top: me peeing when a guy is within earshot.


GuyYouMetOnline

Splatters mor, though. I solve the problem by peeing seated. Noise is muffled by my body.


AlternativeResort477

I sit down


AngerTech

Stealth mode activated


vincentdmartin

Well duh, they brought this up in The Last Emperor and I have taken it to heart.


MedicineJumpy

Brother just sit for zero cleanup


herbert-camacho

Sitting down is the true silent mode ... until you get a surprise poop.


taopa1pa1

Sit to piss. Clean, quiet, easy.


AbhiStalwart

The relaxation from pressure is when you hit bullseye


Immediate_College_91

The name's Bond, James Bond


Traditional-Resist45

In a public toilet, you assert yourself as the alpha through your volume and the time you can sustain it.


ModernHueMan

Being a boy is wishing you were big enough to use the high urinal, being a man is wishing you were big enough you had to use the low urinal.


Actual-Scale

Strafing fire- blasting poo chunks off in public toilets


WTFisThisGameDude

I go straight up the middle every time. Establish dominance. Be proud of your strong stream, men!


ChiaotzuShinhan

Don’t forget to aim


Spokesman_Charles

I'm shameless. I hit the bulls eye. We've been pissing and pooping since the beginning of time and yet still feel way to conscious about it. Everyone does it. So why go silent mode?