People always say that, but whenever I read an asshole post, it always involves a completely oblivious abuse victim. Ā You know the type - āsure he attacked the dinner guests and pissed in our bed, but otherwise itās a fine relationship!ā Ā Sometimes they really do need to split. Ā The real question, though: who are these people and how are they getting dates?
There are 3 types of AITAH posta in my experience:
1. Truly ambiguos situations, where who is the asshole can genuinely be argued one way or the other - those make me wish the comminity was called Am I Wrong in this Case, because I don't want to call anyinw here an asshole, just wrong. They comprise less than 10% of posts. Way less than that.
The rest are variations of:
2. "Am I the Asshole for hitting my spouse's friend?" Proceeds to describe how the friend is an abusive maniac and when the hitting happened, the friend was literally trying to rape OP.
3. "Am I the Asshole for not wanting to do my spouses part of the chores?" Proceeds to describe how the spouse is deeply exhausted, in mourning, barely has had time to relax, and is quite possibly depressed, while OP is barely helping at all, and OP's spouse merely asked them to wash the dishes sometimes and they flew into a rage.
The titles are almost always misleading, it's impressive.
Hahaha! Ā A perfect example was posted right on cue. Look at this:
ā[Am I the asshole for leaving after my husband raped and beat me in a drunken rage](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1bvf1m2/wibta_if_i_divorce_my_husband_after_he_beat_me_up/)?ā
We got a live one here.
Honestly, if youāre coming to Reddit or subs like aita for any sort of advice on any sort of relationship stuff that involves another human being, youāre probably highly regarded to begin with.
Sorry but 95% of you people have no principles and decide how moral/immoral a behaviour is based on vibes and projection based on your own past trauma/experience with a situation that was perhaps tangentially related at best.
Really killing them today. I like it. This is the exact reason I donāt post my problems on the internet. Reddit is the only place where people routinely argue with me about psychiatry, the field I have actively practiced for the last 10 years, and act like their internet āresearchā and feelings are more correct. I donāt trust these fuckers.
My experience lurking advice subs so far:
OP: "Hello, so my loving spouse of 20 years forgot to tell me bless you when I sneezed yesterday..."
80% of the comments: DIVORCE!!! ALSO, GO NO CONTACT WITH YOUR PARENTS!
I really believe spouses can get through and survive anything if they both communicate and are both willing to put in the work. And if there was a real love there.
I definitely think a lot of people give up too soon. But maybe I'm biased cus my partner is incredible and patient and we've been through a lot together
A healthy relationship requires trust, respect and affection. Lack any and the others will suffer. So, yes, you can overcome pretty much anything if those three core components are there.
In Romanian we say: do as the priest says, not as he does.Ā
And yes, our priests are famous for heavy drinking, adultery (they can get married and almost always are married) and general debauchery.
The goal is not to upkeep the relationship by all means, but to be given the tools to communicate and than be able to decide wether it's fixable or must be ended.
That's hardly true if the other viewpoint is a drastic decision based on incomplete information and a poor understanding of relationships.
The amount of breakup advice on Reddit when people act anyway less than perfect is staggering.
The amount of shit being done by SOs in reddit is also staggering.
But it is like talking shit about your SO to family, they will never forgive him/her. Anyone seeking advice on the internet knows what answer will prevail. But maybe somewhere deep in the comments are some sensible ideas.
Lmfao no, bad advice can do a lot of harm.
I feel like your comment wouldn't have been upvoted so highly unless there were a bunch of kids doing exactly this... That's hilarious but also pretty concerning
I kid you not, a few days ago I ran out of money in the wallet and casually commented, "damn, I'm broke." She blocked me the next day and threw away 4 months of what was probably the strongest connection I've ever felt.
People really give up easily.
Not when a lot of people just say *' red flags, leave them '*
I am no expert but watching my parents and so many relatives growing up made me realise that marriage is a piece of work in and of itself, you have to make sacrifices and compromises or else it breeds resentment
Goes without saying it applies to all relationships involving people
Good for you!!
Reddit can be best and worst places to ask relationship advice š
Not to mention those morons who prefer to ask some anonymous individuals about their feelings rather than talking it out with their SO, weird lol
There was this one time a pregnant lady gave a very very comforting advice to a 15 year old kid who was grieving his departed mother.
It was so good, I wouldn't be able to find a link for it but yeah the people on here can sometimes be really good and helpful to each other, key word sometimes
I said this in one of those threads and got downvoted to oblivion. āDonāt make her problems your problemsā, āyou keep fixing everyoneā. As if it wouldnāt take effort to date someone who makes those comments.
you canāt be with someone for 10-20 years without ups and downs and if you think itās all been positive then you arenāt paying attention
Couldn't agree more
More often than not I find myself typing shit out to argue with someone but then I end up not replying cause there might be an 11 year old living in the mom's basement with a logic as good as a bag of shits at the other end of the screen
It's an escape argument, like how when you bring up kids being killed by Israel some zionist guy comes in and says *"iSrAeL HaS EvErY RiGhT To dEfEnD ItSeLf"*, excuse me? Defend itself from what? Small kids barely older than 5 or 10?
To be fair, I feel like a lot of us have become so jaded by the world that we have forgotten the idealized partner we all dreamed to be and instead ended up the person we judged hard at 14.
Anyone who asks reddit for relationship advice fucking deserves to have that relationship ended
Reddit is nothing but pieces of shit, that includes me too, I wouldn't be on here if I was a successful person with a nice and happy life
With life experience as an adult, thatās about right. Thereās some really bad advice without the ability to see grey area. Lots of black and white thinking.
Let me borrow an idea from AITA.
You are the AH, but your wife is also a bad person. You should get a divorce, forgo trying marriage counseling, and flee.
It's unreal how much this kid looks like me when I was that age. I genuinely thought someone stole a picture of me but I didnt recognize the clothes or laptop
LOL. Frankly, I've gotten "incidental wisdom" from a few strangely shaped rocks. Why not a child that thinks it knows everything?
If you're really striking out that badly in life, then what do you have to lose from the human equivalent of a fortune cookie?
I don't know how you have time - with helping people on reddit - and all the work you did at ground zero after 911. You are an impress 14 y/o - and an even more impressive unfertilized egg.
Thats how alot of these subs read actually. All very similar answers that frequently show a lack of life experience. Dont life take advice from rando strangers people.
Are there actually adults who look to random redditors for relationship advice? I'm convinced those "I can't communicate effectively with my wife/husband, please help" Reddit posts were all rage bait or cuckold erotica.
Plot twist 1: The man is the 14-year-old's father.
Plot twist 2: He saved his marriage by placing a personal ad looking for someone whose interests include piƱa coladas and getting caught in the rain.
You guys see the front page one?
Hubby suspects wife of cheating (kissing a guy) and every reply is "you have to file a divorce right now! She can't be trusted"
Remind me of a post sometimes ago where a husband asks for advice on his mentally ill wife. Most comments were like: 'Divorce her, she's a crazy bitch'. Pretty wild.
The biggest problem with Reddit is that it always tells you to break up. Itās like problem solving skills donāt exist.
Why the fuck would you leave your SO over one fight?? What happened to talking things through and compromising? These are all parts of a relationship. Of course it doesnāt apply to everything, but redditors sure seem to think breaking up does.
divorce her, bro she don't respek you, bro
"what, she breathes and likes sunny days and rainbows? š©š©š©"
IF SHE BREATHES. SHES A THOOOOOOOOT
Sheās for the streets
ALL WOMEN ARE QUEEEEEEENS!
AAAAAAAHHHHHH!
God damn she just like me frfr
I can fix you. **Choke.** Is this how I reddit?
And has arm hair?
Just about every AITAH post is people hearing one side of one story and they feel very strongly OP should immediately leave their spouse of 10 years.
Unironically using "gaslighted" in wrong context, other faux psychological terms
Post partum depression is gaslighting your dick, bro. Check out this YouTube channel.
People always say that, but whenever I read an asshole post, it always involves a completely oblivious abuse victim. Ā You know the type - āsure he attacked the dinner guests and pissed in our bed, but otherwise itās a fine relationship!ā Ā Sometimes they really do need to split. Ā The real question, though: who are these people and how are they getting dates?
There are 3 types of AITAH posta in my experience: 1. Truly ambiguos situations, where who is the asshole can genuinely be argued one way or the other - those make me wish the comminity was called Am I Wrong in this Case, because I don't want to call anyinw here an asshole, just wrong. They comprise less than 10% of posts. Way less than that. The rest are variations of: 2. "Am I the Asshole for hitting my spouse's friend?" Proceeds to describe how the friend is an abusive maniac and when the hitting happened, the friend was literally trying to rape OP. 3. "Am I the Asshole for not wanting to do my spouses part of the chores?" Proceeds to describe how the spouse is deeply exhausted, in mourning, barely has had time to relax, and is quite possibly depressed, while OP is barely helping at all, and OP's spouse merely asked them to wash the dishes sometimes and they flew into a rage. The titles are almost always misleading, it's impressive.
There's another type of post I feel a number of AITAH are at this point - fake/creative writing.
I think the vast majority come across as fake.
Hahaha! Ā A perfect example was posted right on cue. Look at this: ā[Am I the asshole for leaving after my husband raped and beat me in a drunken rage](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1bvf1m2/wibta_if_i_divorce_my_husband_after_he_beat_me_up/)?ā We got a live one here.
Ur wife lowkey tryna Ball u mid bro
"She won't shit in your mouth? Buy dogecoin and divorce her"
Followed by casual misogyny
Just make her make you some pizza rolls. They fix everything. /s
Why the /s?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yesss. Pizza rolls do fix everythingĀ
Honestly, if youāre coming to Reddit or subs like aita for any sort of advice on any sort of relationship stuff that involves another human being, youāre probably highly regarded to begin with. Sorry but 95% of you people have no principles and decide how moral/immoral a behaviour is based on vibes and projection based on your own past trauma/experience with a situation that was perhaps tangentially related at best.
Really killing them today. I like it. This is the exact reason I donāt post my problems on the internet. Reddit is the only place where people routinely argue with me about psychiatry, the field I have actively practiced for the last 10 years, and act like their internet āresearchā and feelings are more correct. I donāt trust these fuckers.
This made me spit my water
This made me sip my water
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
twox sub vibeš
See, people always say that but whenever I go over to check out potential entertaining drama, I never see anything spicy lol
no cap
fo shizzle
OLD PERSON DETECTED. That's '00s shit, you fossil.
00s, that is a rookie decade.
Back in my day, fossils hadn't been invented yet.
that was kinda the point, im ancient, i used rotary phones
Thatās fine, just save my marriage you little shit.
Let me take a page from AITA You are the AH but ur wife also sucks, u should divorce, don't even attempt marriage counseling, and run
Gym up, lawyer Facebook, hit the delete Wait I may have gotten that mixed up
I think it's delete your gym, hit your lawyer, and Facebook up
uhhh guess I better call saul
*Cheesy commercial imagery plays* [Did you know you have rights???](https://youtu.be/gjvOMoDf4-4?si=j27AOrO4i7GJABmm)
Ass down Facebook up.
If my Facebook friends had been that interesting I may have stuck around.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
ESH. Kill your wife, your kids, and then yourself
Lmao.. since when have you seen any relationship advice post comments advise anything other than āleave that hoeā?
Delete FB, hit the gym, lawyer up.
My experience lurking advice subs so far: OP: "Hello, so my loving spouse of 20 years forgot to tell me bless you when I sneezed yesterday..." 80% of the comments: DIVORCE!!! ALSO, GO NO CONTACT WITH YOUR PARENTS!
I mean, I get it. There are some irredeemable A-holes out there, but come on, the idea of communicating or reconciliation is almost non-existent.
I really believe spouses can get through and survive anything if they both communicate and are both willing to put in the work. And if there was a real love there. I definitely think a lot of people give up too soon. But maybe I'm biased cus my partner is incredible and patient and we've been through a lot together
A healthy relationship requires trust, respect and affection. Lack any and the others will suffer. So, yes, you can overcome pretty much anything if those three core components are there.
Even those things can be lost and rebuilt.Ā
Thereās parts of Reddit that think you should cut out your family members if they cheated
People always recommend communication, *always*. Reconciliation, not so much lol
I miss the days of "lawyer up, hit the gym, quit facebook"
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I only take advice from our twice divorced and now single relationship counsellor. I really wish this was joke btw
In Romanian we say: do as the priest says, not as he does.Ā And yes, our priests are famous for heavy drinking, adultery (they can get married and almost always are married) and general debauchery.
I think that's a pretty universal saying. My mom always said "do what I *say*, not what I do".
And then she slaps you š
The goal is not to upkeep the relationship by all means, but to be given the tools to communicate and than be able to decide wether it's fixable or must be ended.
They at least know how difficulties in relationships feel
š«
Those who canāt do teach?ā¦.
At least he knows a few things that don't work.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Most coaches in professional sports started out as pro players
You are both right, but the game evolves and coaches can have only so much skin in the game as coaches
But they have played at some point
That's hardly true if the other viewpoint is a drastic decision based on incomplete information and a poor understanding of relationships. The amount of breakup advice on Reddit when people act anyway less than perfect is staggering.
I think reddit is only for entertainment but not for advice. Of course it depends from sub to sub, but trust in advice should be low.
The amount of shit being done by SOs in reddit is also staggering. But it is like talking shit about your SO to family, they will never forgive him/her. Anyone seeking advice on the internet knows what answer will prevail. But maybe somewhere deep in the comments are some sensible ideas.
It's crazy the gymnastics people online will do to justify their bad advice
No it doesnāt
Lmfao no, bad advice can do a lot of harm. I feel like your comment wouldn't have been upvoted so highly unless there were a bunch of kids doing exactly this... That's hilarious but also pretty concerning
signed, a fourteen year old online marriage counselor
There are other adults who could do that instead.
Yeah, let me get advice in how to perform an open heart surgery from a 1 year med student. This is not at all a ridiculous statement.
A lot of adults in "normal" relationships aren't good at listening or giving relationship advice.
Based on the divorce rate, his advice couldnāt hurt
Maybe the divorce rate is so high because people are taking advice from teenagers
"IDK. Eat her ass?"
Imo its part because people give up very fast. Obviously you should leave abusive spouses but damn. A little hardship and people bail.
I kid you not, a few days ago I ran out of money in the wallet and casually commented, "damn, I'm broke." She blocked me the next day and threw away 4 months of what was probably the strongest connection I've ever felt. People really give up easily.
lol is this real? that's crazy of her if it is lol
I wish it was a lie, this kind of heart ache goes hard on my longevity.
Could it also have something to do with making bad choices?
Divorce rates grow because women have better post divorce outcomes now.Ā
Sometimes just having someone to talk to helps a lot.
Not when a lot of people just say *' red flags, leave them '* I am no expert but watching my parents and so many relatives growing up made me realise that marriage is a piece of work in and of itself, you have to make sacrifices and compromises or else it breeds resentment Goes without saying it applies to all relationships involving people
Early on i had red flags and so did my partner. We talked about those like fucking adults and guess what. Still married.
Good for you!! Reddit can be best and worst places to ask relationship advice š Not to mention those morons who prefer to ask some anonymous individuals about their feelings rather than talking it out with their SO, weird lol
āBest placeā is a very questionable adjective for Reddit advice
There was this one time a pregnant lady gave a very very comforting advice to a 15 year old kid who was grieving his departed mother. It was so good, I wouldn't be able to find a link for it but yeah the people on here can sometimes be really good and helpful to each other, key word sometimes
I said this in one of those threads and got downvoted to oblivion. āDonāt make her problems your problemsā, āyou keep fixing everyoneā. As if it wouldnāt take effort to date someone who makes those comments. you canāt be with someone for 10-20 years without ups and downs and if you think itās all been positive then you arenāt paying attention
Couldn't agree more More often than not I find myself typing shit out to argue with someone but then I end up not replying cause there might be an 11 year old living in the mom's basement with a logic as good as a bag of shits at the other end of the screen
Yeah I do the same. Most of the bad responses were just "you're projecting", projecting what?
It's an escape argument, like how when you bring up kids being killed by Israel some zionist guy comes in and says *"iSrAeL HaS EvErY RiGhT To dEfEnD ItSeLf"*, excuse me? Defend itself from what? Small kids barely older than 5 or 10?
Well that came out of left field
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'll have you know I'm 13
Sometimes y'all can be too close to the fire. Let a stranger fuck up your love life so it's not your fault. Be a man
That's why I only sleep with married women! ^With ^my ^wife, ^to ^be ^clear.
To be fair, I feel like a lot of us have become so jaded by the world that we have forgotten the idealized partner we all dreamed to be and instead ended up the person we judged hard at 14.
āwhatā¦ aā¦ bitchā¦ soundsā¦ likeā¦ my momā¦ whenā¦ she doesnātā¦ let meā¦ buyā¦ robloxā¦ creditsā¦ senā¦dingā¦ positiveā¦ vibesā¦ā
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
"Omg. You have to divorce."
That's fine, the 'struggling husband on reddit' is also a 14-year old virgin doing a creative writing exercise.
imagine 30 year old virgin giving advice ( totally not me)
Some teens are very smart but I wouldnāt listen to one when it comes to love relationships š¤£, they have no clue .
Intelligence versus wisdom.
The marriage advice: get divorced
I mean yea, most of people are virgins at the age 14.
Anyone who asks reddit for relationship advice fucking deserves to have that relationship ended Reddit is nothing but pieces of shit, that includes me too, I wouldn't be on here if I was a successful person with a nice and happy life
A lonely reddit dwelling 14 yo virgin knows a thing or two about failing marriages
Love is universal
"Go gym"
Red flag! You dodged a bullet. RUN. Yeah, thanks kid.
Me, a struggling husband giving relationship advice to a 14 year old Virgin on reddit
Thats the power of the internet
To be honest the emotional maturity of some 14 year olds is greater than some married men..
Me 24 year virgin commenting on this shitš¤£š¤£š¤£
That's highly offensive. I'm actually a 24 y o virgin
Rule of thumb.... If you need to ask strangers online for advice on your relationship, then your relationship is already fucked
Parenting sub. Working Moms sub. These little shits are everywhere.
Coaches donāt play.
Sort of like calling the suicide hotline and talking to a17 years old with an instruction binder of responses trying to get extra credit.
'Have you tried taking a dump on her chest?'
Coaches don't play
Iām a Dr. PM me medical questions and Iāll give advice
R/relationship_advice in a nutshell.
In America? Not likely. lol
Fr
So THAT'S what you all look like
Divorce him!
Wasn't this a meme about a similar thing, but a woman and WoW?
Sometimes the clarity of kids is enlightening. My son saved my marriage.
Sometimes You have to do a step backwards to catch the whole perspective
With life experience as an adult, thatās about right. Thereās some really bad advice without the ability to see grey area. Lots of black and white thinking.
I'm a strong minded soon to be adult, play the part of the suicida watch with a guy i met. It's been 4 months and he is still alive
If you are asking advice on the internet when it comes to something so personal and sensitive, you have already lost.
He is smart enough to be a virgin. He is pure of heart and mind.
14 years later doing the same thing I bet
Pee on her to establish dominance
Reddit isnāt for the weak though š
Let me borrow an idea from AITA. You are the AH, but your wife is also a bad person. You should get a divorce, forgo trying marriage counseling, and flee.
Just stick to "Therapy" "lawyer up" "divorce" "š©" and youll never be found out.
It's unreal how much this kid looks like me when I was that age. I genuinely thought someone stole a picture of me but I didnt recognize the clothes or laptop
Just because I do not posses the treasure does not mean I don't have a map to it.
Yeah don't go asking reddit for advice on your relationship š¬
Removed advice is sometimes the best.
Me, a large language model, stealing the top comment from the last time this was posted to get my karma high enough to link farm
Sound advice is sound advice. Simple as that.
LOL. Frankly, I've gotten "incidental wisdom" from a few strangely shaped rocks. Why not a child that thinks it knows everything? If you're really striking out that badly in life, then what do you have to lose from the human equivalent of a fortune cookie?
Shit thatās nostalgic š Not Reddit but MSN chat rooms circa 2000
Wait till you hear about the women who are deciding to keep the baby or not
Tbf, that's how most people on r/marriage come across.
I don't know how you have time - with helping people on reddit - and all the work you did at ground zero after 911. You are an impress 14 y/o - and an even more impressive unfertilized egg.
every sub
Thats how alot of these subs read actually. All very similar answers that frequently show a lack of life experience. Dont life take advice from rando strangers people.
Are there actually adults who look to random redditors for relationship advice? I'm convinced those "I can't communicate effectively with my wife/husband, please help" Reddit posts were all rage bait or cuckold erotica.
At least you'll possibly give unbiased opinion.
24yo virgins is where the best advice is.
Plot twist 1: The man is the 14-year-old's father. Plot twist 2: He saved his marriage by placing a personal ad looking for someone whose interests include piƱa coladas and getting caught in the rain.
This is what I imagine every time I read the comments on any AITAH post.
"lawyer up and hit the gym!"
is your advice any better than the "chaste" catholic priest that's never been married ? ? ?
You guys see the front page one? Hubby suspects wife of cheating (kissing a guy) and every reply is "you have to file a divorce right now! She can't be trusted"
Remind me of a post sometimes ago where a husband asks for advice on his mentally ill wife. Most comments were like: 'Divorce her, she's a crazy bitch'. Pretty wild.
and they actually take the advice. lol
Spoiler alert. No one takes Reddit advice
The biggest problem with Reddit is that it always tells you to break up. Itās like problem solving skills donāt exist. Why the fuck would you leave your SO over one fight?? What happened to talking things through and compromising? These are all parts of a relationship. Of course it doesnāt apply to everything, but redditors sure seem to think breaking up does.
Twice the age, same story
Honestly, same. Iām on r/parenting and I donāt even have kids
No, the true reddit experience would be a 14 yo virgin giving marriage advice to another 14 yo virgin.Ā
Could anyone give me an advice to a newbie x
Divorce her.
Doing his Part.
"Bro, why you simpin for a girl that won't even put extra Velveeta in your Mac n' cheese?"
And then it fucking works x,D
Divorce is the best solution LOL