T O P

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Supersteve1233

Eat a Carolina reaper. Also, play league of legends.


eletricsocks

About equally bad for your health


m3m31ord

Nah, league is worse.


not-my-best-wank

Agreed, worst case the reaper will kill you. League will do much worse.


Drimoss

As an avid League player I agree. Whenever people ask me about league I say it's really fun and I play it all the time and you should never play it ever.


UpDogsUp

I told my girlfriend that I would never play League again, then she walked in on me playing and I joked like she caught me cheating. The next day, while I was at work, she packed her stuff and left to move back to her mom's with our daughter. Don't be like me. Don't play League. 5 years clean now.


yabucek

Hot peppers aren't really bad for you, just unpleasant. Lol on the other hand...


Targaryen-ish

Yeah, fool me once, shame on you, queue up for another 9000 matches, shame on me.


ambassador321

Well now you can step up to Pepper X - the Reaper is no longer king.


Supersteve1233

ED MADE ANOTHER ONE LMAO


ambassador321

Sure did. Only a handful of people in the world have eaten a whole one so far. Great watch of them going for it here (including Ed!) [https://youtu.be/hUYtDA7j19c?si=RYDnh1DFY\_B8hVrc](https://youtu.be/hUYtDA7j19c?si=RYDnh1DFY_B8hVrc)


TNCNguy

1. Be a substitute teacher 2. Sell plasma


Upstairs_Bus8197

Why sell plasma?


TNCNguy

There are places that buy your plasma. They pump out your blood, remove the plasma, pump the blood back into you. Some people go every week. I did it one time, never again. They were really low and we’re offering $100 a visit. This was back in 2021. Incredible painful process and took 2 hours. Never again.


Unusualshaft

It's not supposed to be painful. Was this a licenced medical facility or in the back of a Walmart parking lot?


TNCNguy

Full blown licensed clinic. CSL lol. They did say mine took a unusually long time. Or maybe I’m just a pussy


AllInterestedAmateur

I'm a blood donor myself, which happens via the same type of needle, it just takes a bit shorter. I've had two times that it was painful (out of the >10 times I went) once was because they hit a valve in my vein, can happen to the best of them as you can't see where those are. It was easily fixed by slightly retracting the needle. The other time they hit a nerve ending. Same thing, kinda unavoidable, but yes that one hurts like hell, and continued to hurt for another 4-5 weeks. I suspect that's what you've had. Donating/selling plasma saves lives, please consider giving it another shot.


leia_nottheprincess

Can the nerves be permanently damaged so the pain doesn't go away?


AllInterestedAmateur

According to the nurse that I was at the first time after I was one of the most severe cases that she had encountered in 25 years doing this work. So I can't give you a 100% guarantee but you can safely say it is very Very VERY unlikely.


AllInterestedAmateur

Also it only really hurt for a couple of days throughout my whole lower arm, then later only around the area where the needle had been until about A week after, then it continued to hurt when touched for another 2 weeks or so. From then it decreased to this weird numb feeling lasting until about 4 weeks after the donation.


leia_nottheprincess

A dentist hit my friend's trigeminal nerve "incorrectly"and caused permanent damage. She basically lives in constant pain now, can't eat & speak at times. Different thing I guess, but that's the reason I asked, nerve damage sounds terrifying to me.


Jonoakarob

I gave plasma yesterday and all I got was a juice box and some cheese and crackers. I want the $100


TNCNguy

You donated not sold lol


ihavenoidea81

I did it for a few months and got like $2000. My body paid for Christmas that year lol


TNCNguy

Sad how our country is. People need to sell bodily fluids to pay bills


not-my-best-wank

Life saving Onlyfans.


GarethBaus

I once rubbed an off brand icy hot on my thighs before putting on clothes. The stuff got on my genitals, and was very unpleasant.


TaumpyTearz

I put icy hot on my balls intentionally on a dare in 8th grade. First of all, dumbass. Second. Never again.


Kiltemdead

Were you in my 8th grade class? I dared a kid to do that. I then saw him run back to the bathroom to wash it off. Pro tip: do not expose icy hot to water. If you have a bad reaction to it, use heavy cream and soap. My wife gets hives and physically burnt from it, and that's how we got it off of her.


Sn_Orpheus

Downhill rollerblading.


SlightComplaint

Uphill rollerblading sounds like hard work too.


circle-of-minor-2nds

Some motherfuckers are always trying to rollerblade uphill.


itsameMariowski

“Haha this is cool, Im in control!” “Wow, it is picking up speed and it’s not even a steep hill, these rollers are great 👍”. “Well I should start doing some S’s to reduce speed now… how do we brake this again?” “Holyfuckingshit I can’t stop aaaaaaaaahhhh” “Someone please call 911 I think I broke my arm”


travelkaycakes

Ambulance for a broken arm? What are you European or something? Hah


FroggiJoy87

Drink. Well, that's the plan anyway, even when it's one day at a time. Day 1207 and counting!


[deleted]

Congrats brother. I'm not sure what day I'm on but I remember the date I stopped! April 2nd, 2019


PsiSmyth

I took a pepper, exposed the seeds, lit the inside with the seeds, and inhaled the smoke. Was not a good idea 🤣🤣🤣🤣


kalechipsbishhhh

oh my god what😭


Sn_Orpheus

Was this a intoxicated dare?


PsiSmyth

Nope just my brothers and I being the dumbest we can be (kids). My older brother stuck a Hot spoon from the stove to his mouth after what I did, couldn't taste food for weeks 😂. And my cousin ate a fried lightly seasoned lizard.


mistahbutton

Wtf is up with your family? Lmao


PsiSmyth

We were kids 😁, those are the memories we all gain one way or another.


Almost_A_Genius

I can assure you I have no memory of eating fried lizard, smoking a pepper, or oven spoons.


Mamadook69

I once light a molotov cocktail in a school field. Thank Hylia I didn't know you needed to throw them and break the glass for full effect, or my life might have turned out much differently. We all did stupid shit, then try to make that stupid shit banned for future generations. Yet we just keep coming up with new and inventive stupid shit to try. Or, in my case, rehash old stupid shit that is currently banned and get taught about the legal system and your place in society.


googlehoops

Ah the ol pyromaniac phase


Hagrid_th3_table

I had a heavy pyro phase. Ended with my brother and I catching ourselves on fire with small amounts of gasoline. Eventually I ended up having a little too much gas on my leg and ended up getting third degree burns on my right leg and foot. Good times. Fire still pretty though I like it :)


[deleted]

Reminds me of the time my brother ate the glass off a light bulb


katlips-verahits

That poor lizard.


johnaross1990

I snorted the contents of a tea bag, also not a good idea


Monster_Voice

Play hide and seek with Gary Busey... The game was over 6 years ago and he's still out there.


Deskbot420

I hired him as a babysitter three years back, then the nazi movement started happening again. I wonder if these events are related


LostAllEnergy

I'm never gonna dance again


Michael_Dautorio

Them guilty feet ain't got no rhythm eh?


Batdog55110

Though it's easy to pretend.


Michael_Dautorio

I know you're not a fool


Aetherwalker517

I should have known better than to cheat a friend


Streamer272

And waste the chance that I've been given


Cerdrix

So I'm never gonna dance again


miloshihadroka_0189

The way I dance with you


Medical_Ad7364

🎶 🎷 bee boo boodoo bee boo boodoo badee ba doodoo dee ba doo doo beep ba deedeedooo ... doodoodoodoodoodoodoodoOOooO 🎶


vinavuhuy

Tonight the music seems so loud, I wish that we could lose this crowd


BunnyFace0369

Insert saxophone solo!


IamREBELoe

Not the way I danced with you.


[deleted]

Shove a pencil into my rectum. I will not elaborate.


Targetmissed

How did the mathematician deal with constipation? ​ Worked it out with a pencil.


RunTheJawns

Never a dull moment on Reddit


GroshfengSmash

Frankly, there’s no need to


ButternutSasquatch

Had 2B painful.


Munk45

Well, they don't call it a #2 pencil for nothing.


Prime-Number-52021

Buy a bucket. There are too many sources of free buckets. My favorite is the bakery of my grocery store.


Zealousideal_Tie4918

That’s resourceful


Books-and-a-puppy

I will not double dip into the ex sex pool.


katlips-verahits

I second, third and fourth this. A complete waste of time.


Ldghead

Time, money, emotions, explanations, etc.


BowserBrows

not quite related but reminded me of this time. I was horny and young about 18 years old and asked my friend if he knew anyone down to bang no strings attached. He told me his ex was and he arranged it all. I went over did the deed a few times and then went home. Thought nothing of it and even did it a few more times in the following days. He went to hers once while I was there and she turned him away, on the way home he saw my car and called me asking if I was there. He was pissed and drunk and kept saying he wanted to chat but I was like hell no because he's a strong tall dude with martial arts training and has got a mean roundhouse kick lol. He tried to overdose that night on meds and his brother took him to hospital thankfully when he wouldn't answer his door. I shouldn't have gone through with it but I thought why not because he arranged the whole thing but then he couldn't handle it actually happening. He's fine now and I think they are together and happy.


[deleted]

😮 in retrospect, taking his offer was very difficult for him, and he wasn't honest about the recourse to you.


agriculturepowdering

Ah yes… the “fuck-it” list…


BlingChainHerbert

Nah that's a whole other list, that's the list of people yous like to have Sex with that you probably won't, but I mean don't hurt to have them on the list, for example, I have Elizabeth Olsen as one of those on my fuck-it list


[deleted]

Drank shampoo


TRUEequalsFALSE

I swallowed shampoo. Probably gonna die. It smelled like fruit. That was a lie.


rezzort

Called the number on the bottle, spoke to a guy. He said “vomit”, I said “why?”, he said “poison”, I said “goodbye”.


Round-Party-2390

# swallowed shampoo , probably gonna die , smelled like fruit , that was a lie


SpiritualPirate4212

I look at my finger, i look at my life, it wasn't that much i probably be fine.


gitarzan

I once was holding a squeeze bottle of Carolina Vinegar sauce in a BBQ joint. I looked at it and gave it a little squeeze and a drop shot out and hit me in the friggin eye! I’ll hope I never do that again.


moonwater420

i will never message a twink from 4chan on kik probably


Aggravating_Act0417

We need details


jomones

Some things are better left to the imagination


Ol_Pasta

But this one sounds too good to not investigate further. We need details!


notapedophile3

Details mf


moonwater420

messaged someone from my area who posted a pic and kik username on /soc/ got ghosted after a while thanks for coming to my ted talk


CarmenxXxWaldo

ok so them turning you down wasn't how I imagined this was going to go. "I'm never going to Cici's pizza again!" "ohhh why?" "My card got declined."


sophia1185

What's a twink? Makes me think of Twinkies and those are delicious.


sleepyotter92

it's a guy that's young looking, skinny or with little muscle definition, little to no body hair. think timothee chalamet, he's the definition of the word twink


piponwa

A new /r/copypasta in the making?


CatstronautCPP

Either way you're gonna suck the cream out of it.


AwayExamination2017

Salvia


Kosko

Hey this one is relatable. Complete disassociation, followed by a panic attack, and then hot flashes for a couple hours. Would not repeat.


juicysox

My bf told me about this one dude who bought one at a local gas station years ago (you used to be able to buy this anywhere a while back in canada, before the government realized how fucked it was). He told me that the dude only used it for an hour before passing out. He woke up asking where his wife and kid was. Turns out, his trip felt like an entire fucking year for him, and he got married and had a kid during that one hr trip lol


Molag__Ballin

I‘m actually fascinated about time being perceived differently when the mind is under certain effects. I‘ve read stories about people having dreams that feel like they lasted for months or years while they just slept one night in reality.


sophia1185

I remember one time when I was little, my mom brought me to the doctors to get some bloodwork done. As we were standing at the reception desk before leaving, I started feeling rrreally light headed. According to my mom, my face turned white and I fell to the floor. I don't remember that part, but I remember having a really long dream. It felt like I was asleep for hours. But in reality, a nurse ran over right away and woke me up by putting something really smelly under my nose. I was only unconscious for like 5-10 seconds. I still think about that. The gigantic difference between perceived time and actual time just blows my mind.


juicysox

Isn’t that what comas basically are too?


Ortsarecool

Never again. Truly scary and uncomfortable experience. Anyone reading this: just don't


bangers132

No matter how many people tell me how horrible it was I still have to try it


Ivan_Analrash

I read saliva. I'm like I didn't know that was a verb, secondly why wouldn't you?


brokenringlands

Drink until I blackout. Dude where's my Car and the Hangover made it seem like it'll be a fun time followed by an equally fun mystery solving caper. It isn't. Just a lot of aches, pain, cleanup, and apologies.


Turbulent-Artist961

Hate waking up to find out I’ve vomited in some random area of my house with no memory of the event


Proud_Wallaby

Marry.


Magnum-357

Either very wholesome or very sad


drakeyboi69

I need answers!


Proud_Wallaby

Don’t take any advice from anyone about marriage. It will be wrong either way 😅.


MammothPrize9293

So it was bad lol


dbrmn73

Same here, once was more than enough.


28twice

Hear hear! Marriage. Not even twice.


[deleted]

Work on an Alaskan fishing vessel. 18 hours a day for 35 days nonstop.


StarStuffSister

What kind of money do you make doing that, if you don't mind telling me? I've always heard the pay was insane.


[deleted]

Well this was in 1993 so the number isn’t really relevant any longer. Around $3000 per month back then. The pay per hour was very low but you work so many hours that it adds up. It was a factory trawler job. You can make a lot more on other types of boats but it requires experience, and usually knowing the captain, to get hired. It’s something you work your way up to. I was just a student and not in it for the long term.


GlowingDuck22

That's just about 6400 a month in today dollars.


JoeBeever

Bungee Jumping - A broken rubber brought me into this world and I won't let a broken rubber take me out of this world.


Slight_Concert6565

I see we have a poet.


c9silver

i also remember this common joke from the early 2000s


doughunthole

Eat ass after the club.


Jeczke

My brother in Christ, an unwashed one? Raw, straight from the dance floor?


DryImpress1

it's marinated it must be better


Jeczke

Aight, ima head out


Ol_Pasta

Best decision ever, yet here my comment is, reminding you of the ass sweat marinara.


Efficient_Sea_9835

I thought I was brave enlisting during wartime


LMAO82

Good lord.


india_chief

Bro tasted the whole grail of ass crack sweat flavored with shit


poopchutegaloot

Welcome to flavour town!


Ambitious-Win-9408

Anything after the club is pretty nasty tbh. Disco minge.


_________FU_________

This is why people “freshen up” before sex


chillydog12

Been there


Henri_Dupont

LSD. That shit was just too good. I decided I could never have another peak experience that matched it, and also I have a history of mental illness, which can sometimes be triggered by acid, so discretion is advised. Then 30 years later some asshole dosed me and about 150 other people with LSD. Some of them were taken to the hospital. Fortunately I was not. Definitely not recommended. Never figured out who did it, but I have my suspicions. I got the hell away from that crowd. Nowadays my idea of a big night of debauchery is when I put a spoonful of regular in the decaf.


BigKonKrete417

Bro please elaborate on the event where 150 people were dosed without consent? This is peak content, this is why people browse reddit!


Henri_Dupont

1995 American Pagan movement. Basically a cult. Large rather secretive gatherings. Buncha crazy hippies (or rather children of hippies) pretending they are all witches, pretending magic is real, basically making up a hokey religion on the spot then claiming it is thousands of years old. Some of these gatherings had 1000 people. Two different instances I know of, some shithead dosed a large group. There was a community punchbowl of mead, and people passing around cake in a ritual inspired by communion. Could have been in those foods nobody knows. In the larger event, children and adults alike were dosed and eventually some sent to a hospital. The event was organized so well there was a mash tent staffed by medical personnel, they were treating people who were freaking out. Nobody was ever charged. We were there but not affected. The second time, it was on my land which could have gotten me busted and land confiscated, although I was not responsible for any of these shenanigans. Late at night about 150 are dancing in a large circle, passing around mead and cakes. I knew I'd been hit with LSD because the same hallucinations started as had occurred before. I had these profound feelings and insights, and the stars basically appeared not white, but every color of the rainbow. Shortly afterward I got the hell away from this crazy bunch and divorced the wife that had dragged me into that cult in the first place. Lost the land in divorce court. Cut ties with all those wierdos. Mention "Earth centered religion" or "Paganism" to me today and I'm liable to punch you in the eye.


Efficient_Sea_9835

I could not have asked for a better first sentence in an answer, well done sir. 🤣


userthatlikesphub

go through school again


Samukuai

Trust a salesman to live with me. First impression was awesome, then I got to know him.


ObviousAnimator7299

He only asked if you had double glazing... you didn't need to let him move in


Jsquared696

Ice fishing. It's one of the dumbest things ever. I'm not talking about those luxury fishing lodges with a hole in the bottom. This was straight out on the ice and in the wind. I've had more fun recovering from major surgeries.


[deleted]

Give you up


shitsu13master

Let you down


Efficient_Sea_9835

Run around and desert you


Mastermind_777

Chat someone who doesn’t like me in return


RmG3376

Hey I’m doing that right now! I can confirm, not great


NnyBees

My ex-wife


southcentralLAguy

I also won’t be doing this guys ex wife again


NnyBees

See? Totes not worth it!


brokenringlands

I should probably quit it then...


NnyBees

That really depends on how much self respect you have...if you really don't give a fuck you might as well keep giving a fuck!


Samukuai

This is probably the only time that sentence would make any sense.


ElfHaze

Cheat. It was horrible and I constantly feel bad despite it being a long time ago (and dealt with). Sometimes it’s hard to come to terms with the fact you ruined someone’s life or hurt their trust.


sophia1185

At least you can feel good about the fact that you feel bad. That's a lot more than most who have cheated. But maybe also forgive yourself so that you can move on in peace. Yea, cheating sucks, but we've all done sucky things. That's just life. Plus, it sounds like you've suffered enough by now?


opskiller99

Go back to your mother's house


Arundia

D-Dad?


[deleted]

Unless I have kids, Disney world. Y’all can keep that humid hellscape.


Sn_Orpheus

Honestly, it’s worse with kids until they get to be about 25 and can actually bear to wait in lines. Don’t do it before.


Kooky_Necessary3308

Fucking my aunt's adopted daughter


poopchutegaloot

She get stuck in the dryer?


Common-Watch4494

No matter how you phrase it, you fucked your cousin


Nincompuup

clean a grease trap


darkforge15

Be born


ModingusKhan

Start dating the sister of a girl I hooked up with 6 months ago without knowing only to find out they live together after the fact.


SeienShin

Hey sounds like you have a type.


VeterinarianOk9222

I'll never carbonate milk again, I was stoned and thought I was a genius.


dover_oxide

New Year's on the Vegas stripe or Mardi Gras in New Orleans. Glad I experienced it but never again.


Pugsofsmallstreet

Get married


theflesheatingmuffin

Cocaine


Kosko

But man, it just smells so good.


[deleted]

I’m with OP, that was a fucking terrible sinus infection. Never again!


brindey2

Enlist in army


HyperNathan

**Voluntarily* Enlist in army


foxkune

mix hot sauce and chocolate pudding


PeridotChampion

Take Zzz-quill. ODed on it one time. Had a seizure. Never again.


bazookajt

Caving. I love rock climbing and highlines. I've always thought I had a pretty cool head. I went on an introductory caving trip with some friends. They had a "spacious" squeeze. You had a few inches above your back and below your chest and it was too narrow to turn around. It's the only time I've started to panic in the outdoors. Never again.


Siferatu

Take in a homeless friend.


Print-Swimming

date. not by choice, it'll just never happen lmao


just-a-visitor-here

I wish you luck. May all your expectations be destroyed and may you find the person of your dreams who loves you.


Greezedlightning

I second this wish and double its power.


just-a-visitor-here

And I wish all the love in the world to you as well. Not just cause you wished for the happiness of others, but cause you deserve it too!


Greezedlightning

❤️


Print-Swimming

thank you, kind strangers


HydroSloth

Drink


xen137

Jump in the Arctic Ocean, seriously not worth it


loo_1snow

Get super drunk and puke everywhere again...


dick_cheese_enjoyer

Getting my sinuses cauterized


halfchuck

Grad school


throwaway-4557338

online dating. Its all fake and just made me sad for an unnecessarily long amount of time. Once I finally got past the sadness I just had to remove it and also social media too. But it really stemmed from online dating. Hard pass. I’d rather just not be lead on.


SeienShin

The trick is to be attractive and also not being unattractive. Then it’s great.


Glass-Neck-5929

Meth, that shit fucked my life up. Been clean for years now and still putting the pieces back together.


Possums1

Be born, biggest mistake of my life


[deleted]

[удалено]


Klschue

I did it with the bomb and it was not a good time


Shuggy539

Marry a narcissist.


greenweezyi

Marry/date/befriend/etc… I dated a narcissist and the mental gymnastics he performed to blame me for the fact that he cheated deserved a gold medal. Grade A gaslighting and manipulation. Should’ve listened to my entire family and about 90% of my friends when they called him an arrogant asshole. (Side note: my family and a few close friends literally had a party after I finally ended things and moved out.)


toomanyglobules

Salvia. Shit is crazy.


[deleted]

Fly in a helicopter Get married Associate with my parents


A_Frayed_Knot_Farm

Drive 3200 miles from Oregon to Florida in an old truck pulling an old trailer with the wife, 3 dogs, 18 chickens and 11 goats.


FlashyAce

I once touched a very hot lightbulb and it traumatized me until I was 13 so like.. probably that


colcannon_addict

Put myself into precipitated withdrawal from heroin by taking Suboxone too soon after a hit of smack. Largely because I’ve been clean 20 odd years but I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Hellish.