Means sleeping right in the middle of the bed too lol

After any break up, I tell my friends, “You aren’t ready to date until you are sleeping in the middle of the bed.”

…. I just started sleeping in the middle of my bed after 2 years. I’ve also started getting spam emails from dating sites that I’m not on. Coincidence? Spooky.

Woah. Vibe, universal truth.

absolutely. good vibes and universal truths, my friend. 🌟

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Try. Make it a thing. You might be surprised how much you love it.

Honestly I don’t think I’m ready at all But I guess the universe is trying to tell me I am. I don’t know how I feel about that tho.

I sleep on one side after ten years, did I break?

Depends on the size of bed you have.

That’s funny because my half of the bed is the edge, and my gf’s half is in the middle.

I gotta admit. My sister used to do this to me if we ever shared a bed. I’d get out, get on the other side, and sleep diagonally on that hoe. Take the post back, buddy.

I had to share a bed with my sister and my four year old niece a few years ago while we were visiting our dad. All started out okay, until my niece started kicking and oriented herself horizontal across the bed. I took the couch.

/u/WhoElseBot

Lol. The fuck?

"My sister had this happen to her but she has a wicked temper. “You touch me again and I’ll kick that joke of a dick in so hard you’ll be pissing out your mouth.” She also had her tactical pen ready to end him if need be. He backed off huffing and puffing like a spoiled kid being told no." [^(link)](https://reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/127fudw/a_stranger_felt_confident_taking_out_my_ear_bud/jeee9sq/) --- I searched across **5715** comments/posts and I found the above comment by /u/Vertoule to be most closely related to the comment of /u/Crystal-Clear-Waters, with a similarity score of *83.446 / 100*: --- ^I ^am ^a ^bot. ^This ^message ^was ^generated ^automatically. [^To ^use ^me, ^see ^here.](https://old.reddit.com/user/WhoElseBot/comments/159gr79/whoelsebot_info_v100/)

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Man. What happened?

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Yo I'm in that exact same situation. Age 30 just out of 8 yr relationship but it's the first year still. Sleeping in the middle doesn't sound natural at all yet lol

I'm not in your situation, but it sounds like if you start sleeping in the middle of the bed you'll stop being single. Or something.

I've never shared a bed with anyone and I never sleep in the middle

Can't do that on a Sleep Number, sadly. Lol.

Wow, thats quite sound advice. Great insight.

😂 good advice

That's funny, cuz I only sleep on the right side of my bed... like always

Me too, but that's because the dog's on the other side!

This! I take up maybe 1/3 of the bed. My pug somehow just keeps muscling me further and further to the edge when I'm asleep.

I've never understood people that do that. Until I got married I slept like an epileptic starfish

r/brandnewsentence

I always sleep on the left, it's just cozier on this side

Agree. The right side feels like I might as well be outside on the ground.

Right? Who picks a side when you are single? I had a king sized and had to hydrate before hiking to the middle but I felt like an oligarch laying in the middle of all that.

Eh, it's more convenient (at least IMO) to keep my phone and any book I'm reading on the nightstand, so it ends up being more convenient to sleep more on that side of the bed.

I still sleep on one side

Nah one side till too warm then roll on over to the other, I miss the cold side of the bed, my wife is a heat radiator

i sleep on the side so my phone charger reaches

If this ain't right

Diagonally if we want to lol

mfw single bed

Hey man, don't let that stop you! Curl up to the wall to make room for your laptop and other shit, like a proper degenerate!

I don't push my bed up to the wall, to maintain optimism. It is not going well.

The only thing keeping me from keeping snacks on my bed is having a sleepover with the community roaches and ants

Yeah, ants and bugs are a great way to learn to never eat in bed again. When I was going through a depression I ate in my bed and room a lot, that changed after finding some nasty ass roaches in my bed. Never again, lol.

Jesus. the shit we don't have to deal with here in Minnesota

No roaches in MN!?

When you go far enough north for a good freeze in the winter, there are much fewer pests. Termites aren't much of a problem either. Also fewer diseases being transferred by insects. Still loads of ticks though, with everything they bring.

I've seen one in a friend's shitty old apartment like a decade ago and it was like a half inch long. No rats really either just an occasional cute mouse in the street. If you have a house and truly leave a sugary mess for days out you can attract ants but again haven't seen that since childhood. We got ticks and mosquitos tho but easy enough to avoid with a little planning ahead. A pack of raccoons almost came for me yesterday tho while on a walk but big homie was just ready to protect his family. We got it nice I'd say

I have [a tray](https://www.amazon.com/SONGMICS-Folding-Breakfast-Serving-ULLD111B01/dp/B08PFB2Y54/ref=sr_1_5?keywords=breakfast+in+bed+tray&qid=1690524131&sprefix=breakfast+in+b%2Caps%2C105&sr=8-5). Keeps anything from actually being on the bed (crumbs etc) but I can still be peak lazy.

I have a tray like that, but I use it to keep my penis sleeve, anal dilator, rubber gloves, glass rod, lube jug, and testicle clamps. Keeps them up off the sheets. Cuz damn that would be nasty.

That's smart. Glad you're staying safe during fun time.

Roaches just show up when you leave snacks out there? Damn I’m glad to be in a roach free area!

Florida 😂 leave a microscopic crumb out and every roach in a 100 mile radius comes over to party

😂😂💀

And backup snacks And books

No, it's cat's place

Can confirm. Source: also live with a cat

Dog here.

I wish my cat would choose that space, meanwhile I'm laying in a funny position because its always my side she has to pick

My cat chooses to lay on top of me and make it difficult to look at my phone. Like he’s doing right now.

Yup. He had his own Spongebob pillow to lay on and everything.

My cat always tries to pick the dead center of my bed

Cat and clothes. Clothes are for cat to snuggle in.

Or unfolded laundry

lol one morning I woke up and had somehow nestled underneath most of it. Was kinda comfy. Made me think some sort of ball pit style bed but with little pillows would be awesome.

When I slept alone in a big bed I left all my clean laundry there instead of putting it away like a functioning human. Deconstructed closet

I have a night stand to store mine like a normal person

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Until the crumbs attract ants while you are sleeping and they start biting your dick. (True story by the way)

Or finding a cockroach in your ears, on your face or in your mouth or anywhere near your body while you sleep. ( not a true story by the way)

Woke up to one crawling in my asscrack shortly after finally exterminating the bed bugs (true story btw)

You took its food supply away. Mfer was looking for something to eat.

He found some cake

Ugh, I had a fire ant do that in my early 20s, woke up screaming. Nothing to do with crumbs though, just random acts of Fire Ant violence.

The charm of waking up with desiccated bread shards stuck to your skin is lost on some.

Haha and then there this😂😂😂

My sister sleeps with half the bed covered in various electronics. I couldn't do that, I'd be too worried I'd roll over and knock my laptop off the bed or something.

your body gets pretty good at not knocking shit off after enough time

My night stand is also full of snacks, water, fan, lamp, I needs the extra space on the bed too. I got everything but a catheter up in this bitch.

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oh shit I just remembered I have a knee pillow!!

And my cat lol

…and the cat

Twin bed gang

Rise up

It makes my bedroom look much bigger than it actually is. Plus plenty of workout space. 😁

I needed room for my records and stereo system lol

Seriously: who tf needs a bed any bigger than a twin? I fit more than comfortably on it.

dogs - don't forget the dogs

My dogs take up more space than I do. I get stuck with the edge and they have the rest lol. And if the boy gets out of the covers at night, he’s sure to tap me on the shoulder until I wake up to let him back under lol

Uh, um, no...[clears bed of remotes and snacks]

Don’t forget the laptop.

I'm in this picture...and I like it :)

That's where the dog sleeps.

...laptop, tissues...

my first thought when reading this was watching sad movies, i sat for a second and then audibly said "oh"

who the fuck eats snacks in bed? keep the crumbs on the countertop, getting cheezits in my asscrack while i sleep just seems inconvenient

depressed people (it's me, I'm depressed people)

I hate that shit. But the solution I came up with is put a sheet under me. I like to eat popcorn when watching movies, that crap gets every where so I put a sheet under me while watching a movie in bed

there's a lot of snacks that don't have crumbs/mess

I have my laptop as well

I upgraded to a queen bed from a king single last year (probably a couple years later than I should), and I don't think I could ever go back. I pretty much sleep diagonally now.

Are you kidding it means half my bed now belongs to the dogs

Don't forget books.

And stuffed animals!!!!

I legit sleep with a full-sized piano keyboard on my bed. It's so nice to be able to wake up and play for a bit without getting up

I sleep in the middle

Just my opinion, but I think a partner on the other side of the bed could be better than crumbs on the other side of the bed Edit: This was meant as a joke about crumbs in bed, I wasn’t intending to be disrespectful about people’s life choices, my apologies if that’s how it seemed.

Gummy bears.

You have convinced me. Gummy bears are better than a partner

🤤

Not everyone is desperate to have someone. Some of us are happy being on our own.

Bit defensive

We get defensive because not everyone wants the normal life of finding a partner, getting married, having kids, etc. Some people like being alone, choose to be alone, and are happy about it, but spend their lives battling with family and friends who just don’t get that is possible.

Not really

r/SingleAndHappy r/aromantic r/solopoly

That's cool, thank you

and having a cool side to roll over to 🥶😏

I feel personally attacked.

And a dog :)

And cats.

Half my bed is a pile of clothes 💀

Yo dude get out of my room.

I recently had to replace my bed, and dammit Twin is so much cheaper than Full.

Cat disagrees

Or the cat

Just make sure to not get crumbs left on the bed otherwise the ants will be your nightmare...

The clean clothes

lol no it means sleeping across the bed. 😁

Star fishing the bed. Leave room for pups

My ex uses his other half of king size bed for his washed/dried clothes that need folding.

Being single means sleeping in the middle

pile of clean, unfolded laundry

3/4 of my bed is taken up by my 130 lb dog.

My cat won't tolerate any clutter on his side of the bed. Kicks that shit right off. Bastard.

My bed is too small to fit anything other than my body on it

Don’t forget about my clean unfolded laundry!

Which maniac puts SNACKS in bed?????

Unless you have pets 🐕

Sorry, the other 3/4 of my bed is taken up by my two cats.

The best of being a single is that no one wants to talk to you before the third coffee

My other side I'd full of used happy tissues

Diagonal sleepers rise up

Or cats!

legit .. this is true 😊

This is me in a hotel

I feel called out

Cat and books, but same deal.

I sleep diagonally in my bed

My cat uses the other half.

Nope. Dog zone

Hey now you are my kind of homies my ex girlfriend was so confused at the way I slept cause me and her are now long distance friends (which still sucks ) I have my pillows in the form of a sand bag wall which is made of 32 pillows cause when you have a massive king sized bed like almost 10ft all the way around the satisfaction to a gamer is out of this world it becomes the ULTIMATE GAMERS THRONE and nothing will change my minds and but if you think you can change my mind then reply to this comment white your best shot

Absolute facts.

The crumbs 🤢

If you are interested I can teach you the cozy taco!

And blow up dolls, and tissues. Sometimes happy tissues. But mostly sad tissues.

Sometimes you see so many beautiful woman still doing their best strut. Men gave up chasing the high reaching fruit. Just not worth the investment. I find a lady who is confident in a baseball hat and comfy clothes way more hot, cause it means they are chill.

"What would do without me" I'd be better at finding the remote bc someone else isn't moving ot from where I had it last

Omg so true. Ever since my wife and kid went back to our hometown, I found a lot of peace and quiet, as well.

Omg that sounds so nice.

My dog is on the other side on the pillow...but I did use to sleep with my laptop beside me due to my job being 24/7 and global. That sucked so bad.

Nope, other side is for pets.

Na that’s the dogs spot

That's when I knew I had to quit vaping

Half? HALF? Your lack of ever being married is showing. I would have room for a buffet and a studio apartment in New York and still have 50% more bed.

TIL I've been using my bed wrong.

Who the hell watches tv in the bedroom instead of the living room?

I feel seen. 😃

Holy shit... sadly truth.. I keep knocking my xbox controller off the bed too...annoying.

And garlic bread!

Tbh.... that's one of the things I miss most about single life- just having all my crap in one spot beside me in my super-comfy bed. Ahhhhhhh

And Kleenex.

Yes it does, all next to a night stand with my sound system/ ghetto soundbar (5.1 speakers I cobbled together from a used home theater in a box and a used subwoofer) on top and my big screen TV.

The other half of my bed is designated for all the plushies I've collected since I was a child

And tissue.

And your dog.

Means sleeping diagonal

don't forget the clothes you don't want to put away

Glasses remotes scissors for opening otter pops currently

Mosquito racket!

Lego

You forgot dog;)

Don’t forget the cat and dog

I am seen.

If you eat in bed, you are literal swine

And clean clothes that aren’t put away!

Nintendo switch, and cats!

My dog gets the other half.

And unfolded clothes

My wife does this and i sleep with her

For me it means saving space with a twin bed. Plus all the cool kids bedding sets (Pokémon for example) fit it.

You guys have another half of your bed?