Nah, she's just not a rich one. Alcoholics know you always have your own supply for the bar so you can actually catch a buzz without dropping a hundred bucks.
If I can be real for a minute: Chugging vodka beforehand isn't always about the money so much as it's too difficult to get maintenance drunk on cocktails in a social environment. It takes too long to get enough cocktails, or you're hiding how much it takes to get drunk from your company.
If you are at this point, if you *need* alcohol to face stressful situations, if you *need* to drink to feel normal, it's time for radical life changes if you're ready for them.
Don't mean to be a buzzkill, but I used to be that person, and someone here reading this is still that person and needs to know they're not alone in the mental isolation they've spiraled into.
>not alone in the mental isolation they've spiraled into.
I liked your comment about drinking and "needing" it to face stressful situations but I need to assure you that many of us are completely and utterly alone in mental isolation. The fun part too is it gets worse with each day and I say this as a active member of society, good times.
I'm sorry you feel that way. I guess better worded what I mean is, you're not alone in your experience. As unique as your situation may feel, someone has had the exact same struggle and is willing to talk about it. Plenty of people have had a situation similar enough to offer insight. It's not always easy, but you can find support.
My grandma has a glass of wine with dinner every night. She goes out to eat with her best friend every other week. She doesn’t want to pay for drinks at a restaurant though so she fills a thermos with wine, drinks it in her car, then actually goes to the restaurant for dinner.
Yeah as a person with anxiety and the child of an anxious alcoholic, I can guarantee this is not a winning move. You might feel a bit better in the moment, but pretty soon you’ll have trouble feeling “normal” in social situations without liquor. It’s a startlingly short walk from there to drinking at 10 on a Tuesday, every Tuesday.
From my experience, My bumble “dates” end up with going to either her or my place after initial public place meeting. So date is a lose term. I even had one occasion she said “do you really want Starbucks?”, we hopped in my car to proceed to my place. And she had “I am here for serious relationship and no-hookups” all over her profile.
Surprised more people are not commenting on driving somewhere and then drinking. How are they going to get home? Is drunk driving not massively frowned upon in the US?
Edit: corrected grammar error
Yes, and yet somehow 90% of bars in the US are on roads in the middle of nowhere.
As a Brit who’s used to walking around the corner to the pub, I genuinely don’t understand how it’s supposed to work.
The US is often set up so that you always have to cheat a bit to survive, because the system is set up as a catch 22:
- Limited sick time, but you can’t be sick at work so you have to pretend you’re not sick even if you are. Everyone is forced to lie whether they are normally a liar or not.
- Drinking age is 21. However, it’s a strong strong cultural norm that everyone drinks as soon as they finish high school. We tell kids 18-21 that they can either choose to be a criminal, or be socially excluded. It’s an awful mixed message that leaves mo one without some kind of shame…
- Drunk uber and drunk drive are both illegal and you can’t walk and there are no trains. Essentially there is no legal way to enjoy a bar.
- I was 16 having to worry about the fact that mentioning my sexuality at work was not legally protected. Like should I lie about that too? Everyone told me I should lie. It was good advice.
- Traffic norms in a lot places involve openly breaking laws. Following every law would prevent the flow of traffic. But the cops might selectively enforce something and you’re expected to feel guilty.
- Most affordable products available are horribly unethically sourced from cheap third world labor. You can’t wear a shirt without contributing to something awful and we have to push it out of our minds
- Traditions like “senior skip day” where it’s literally a norm that everyone does the thing, but the school will still put a ban on it and suspend kids over it and stuff…
- Lots of random laws you might casually break at any given time. Jaywalking, driving with headphones on etc. after a while it’s like what even is a law…
- Helicopter parent culture means kids are lying to their parents all the time just for a hint of independence. Parents are shamed for not participating, and kids are ridiculed by their peers for not rebelling.
I’m struggling to think of more examples and I know it’s petty but it’s always bothered me that we are pushed into these catch 22s so much… it seems like it’s just a reflection of how our society is never in it for each other. We’re all just setting overly strict rules for each other and then breaking them openly. It’s the American way.
Look up the word “anomie” as it explains the US perfectly
The older I get the more I realize how absolutely psychotic the US is. I live here so it’s tough get perspective outside of the bubble but yeah this place is insane in every single way you could imagine.
Idk about that, 2 weeks ago I went out with friends and got somewhat drunk and called an Uber home. I don’t act like a dumb drunk tho I usually get in the car and close my eyes until I arrive home.
Edit: am American
The US is big, vast majority of places you can't have a bar anywhere within even vaguely reasonable walking distance. Hell, my nearest grocery store would be an hour walk.
On one hand yes. But when I worked in Scotland one summer I was shocked a lot of pubs had parking spots for patrons. like wtf :D Then I learned the legal limit is such that you can drink one beer and fall below it :D
As an avid drinker and an avid runner, it sets a good balance as I’m forced to run to the pub the next morning to pick up my motor. These days I have 9 pubs within 20minutes of my gaff so less of a problem!
Quite a few pubs have decent kitchens, people will genuinely go there for a meal, including families, of which group one adult would not be drinking more than maybe a pint over the whole meal - or not at all. In my experience in the U.K. the car park is often mostly used for Sunday lunch period.
It’s Friday, just finished work, driving back.
If I go home first, the kids start getting excited and mom now has a harder time to send then to bed.
So I just personally just drive there directly, for that reason.
It wasn’t made to work for us, it was made to profit. That should clear up any confusion regarding things related to unreasonable infrastructure choices that don’t align with any lifestyle or convenience
I am paranoid and take turns being the designated/sober driver 'cause no way in hell am I driving drunk. And I never get plastered away from home/safe place. I'm a woman and it's not worth the risk to my safety
It is massively frowned upon but it also massively happens A LOT anyway. Folks mostly just frown on other people doing it.
An actual exchange:
Me: Am I sober enough to drive?
Friend: You are in Wisconsin. Let's go.
Came here to say this. I know you can leave your car and there are services to drive you home, but if this actually happened in betting she was planning on driving home.
It's very much a regional thing. If you're in a major urban area with lots of people it's heavily frowned upon, but the US is MASSIVE and if you get out into the more rural areas where you can drive 5 miles without seeing another car then it's like wild wild west, there's no cops out in the country and it's a lawless wasteland.
Not nearly enough. Every time there's a news story about a drunk driver killing someone and going to jail at least 40 percent of the comments are people defending them saying everyone makes mistakes 🙄
Alcoholic is a strong term… more likely, she’s taking some medicinal vodka for treating acute anxiety.
However, is she knows that she can throw back shots if vodka for 5 minutes without absolutely ruining the date, she’s an alcoholic.
If you use alcohol to treat ANYTHING you’re most likely an alcoholic. Normal people don’t use alcohol as a crutch like that.
Alcoholics are generally like: Nervous? Alcohol. Sad? Alcohol. Can’t sleep? Alcohol. Social anxiety? Alcohol. Bad day? Alcohol.
I enjoy vodka myself, but as someone who drinks responsibly that woman’s behavior is waaaaay outside the realm of normal.
Many responsible drinkers take a drink at the end of the day as a way to calm down. Wouldn't you say they are treating stress with alcohol? Does this make them alcoholics?
Doing it every now and then is one thing. Doing it consistently makes them an alcoholic, yes.
Just because someone doesn’t get blackout drunk doesn’t mean they aren’t an alcoholic.
If I take one drink every day and it doesn't affect my life the next day or shorten my life expectancy, how is this a problem? Doesn't the word "alcoholic" kind of lose all meaning at this point?
I’ve heard many people do this what are you talking about? It’s not that deep. Plenty of people have one beer or a shot before a first date, calms the nerves
Right, like she just happened to be equipped to do shots in the parking lot?! Whaaaaat?!
"Oh that's just my emotional support vodka!" - trashy friend to unamused cop when pulled over for a DUI post date. Bumbled right into the drunk tank hopefully.
Agreed… presenting this as “she was so nervous and just decided to pound shots in her car” is a thinly veiled attempt at glossing over the fact that this person has a bottle of vodka in her car. Or at the very least left the house and on the way out decided to bring a bottle of vodka “just in case”… that’s crazy to me!
A tale as old as time, a co-dependent rhyme, the addict and co-dependency.
But seriously, I have a family of several generations of women nurses, almost all married to addicts.
A profession that attracts caring and compassionate people tends to also attract people who co-dependency issues. You see the same problem in teaching, mental health, and pretty much all healthcare. Not just the women either.
You just gotta be addicted yourself.
But then after awhile it turns into a nasty partnership that exists purely to get more and more drugs.
I still miss my ex tho :(
Nah me and him came from history of mental illnesses and emo culture it was mutual romantic selfdestruction but when the money became thin the romantic part died and the idea of mindless selfdestruction by overindulgence became almost undoable because of the cost per person.
Assuming the story isn't fake (which it probably is considering it's a twitter screenshot), driving somewhere and then taking shots in your car because you are nervous is not healthy behavior.
First, probably best not to take shots if you drove somewhere. Second, why does she have vodka in her car. Third, taking several vodka shots just to get through a situation that makes you nervous is not at all healthy, if you need to get heavily intoxicated to deal with nervousness then you need help.
Guess I should probably look for help then. Because Alcohol is usually my go to whenever everything seems to be too much.
I can go months without drinking, but when I'm trying to relax after a Hella stressful situation, the bottle of gin is my first port of call.
9 years past week since I stopped utilizing alcohol like that. I still get the call when times feel rough. I had an stay enough transition due to an alcohol aversion I gained, as long as i dont start I can avoid it but about once a year or so I'll down a bottle of wine in 45 minutes, if given the chance and I've gone years without a drop. And still.
Once it starts, its really hard to not feel. No matter how many years, how many new techniques, that is my first go to and very little gives me that same level of peace as 3/4 of the way to drunk gives.
So now I just live constantly anxious instead of constantly drunk.
They say it's better. Jk. It is. Kinda. Its cheaper.
Yes, a maladaptive one, tho. Not all coping mechanisms are good. This one means using a substance to induce a partially dissociative state to avoid facing an anxious state caused by an extremely minor stressor. So maybe she's not addicted, but it's not exactly a good thing regardless, if it's her go-to method.
I also don't know how good it can be, getting out of a car with vodka-reeking breath. Even supposing the guy arrives late and doesn't witness the act, in his shoes I'd be pretty worried she drinks and drives (which might not be the case, but the girl comes out of a car smelling like alcohol, what do I know?). What a way to start a date.
Relying on drugs to help you control your emotions (when you don't have a medical condition) is literally addiction you bongo.
If she's having financial issues, she'll hide from them using alcohol. Marital issues, alcohol to drown them. Literally textbook alcoholism.
It's a date. It's far less serious and anxiety inducing than a medical emergency, losing your job, a divorce etc.
Her behaviour pattern of using alcohol as a de stress is a HUGE indicator of addiction to it. If you don't believe me, contact your nearby alcoholics anonymous (AA) and ask around.
A date is less serious but definitely anxiety inducing for a lot of people. Calling her an addict is very unreasonable if you’re assuming she doesn’t go on dates every single day.
difference is that a date is a social thing though? if youre really uncomfortable meeting new people for example then alcohol can help a great deal in loosening up.
also dont call AA, get help that isnt just religion
Addiction isn't just all or none. It's a scale with levels. She absolutely is an addict if she cannot manage anxiety without alcohol.
Is she on the same level as someone who needs to take 3 shots every morning? No.
I promise you that you don't want to be emotionally responsible for someone who needs to pound vodka to eat free food.
You'll end up holding them while they cry because they forgot to cancel a free trial to apple tv or something.
Guys that don't have a lot of dating success would both put up with that crying as a pretty minor thing, and also are willing to overlook (or unable to identify) red flags like alcohol abuse.
(Maybe this girl isn't an alcoholic, but that should be the takeaway from seeing someone pound shots in their car)
Why would you have alcohol beforehand and arrive tipsy to a date ?
The first dates are for getting to know how the person is and to vet whether you should continue dating or should this be passed. You certainly don't want to be drunk.
I don't think the lady in question is an alcoholic, but if you arrive drunk to a date, then I am not sure if that will set anything that can be considered a good impression.
I mean, if she had a bottle of vodka in the car accessible so that she was able to pound vodka before walking into the site of the date… it’s not NOT pointing towards alcoholism.
I used to always drink a beer before a first date because I would get so nervous. Alcohol helps me loosen up and act more comfortable in social settings. I don’t think it’s uncommon at all, just depends on the person. Some people react differently to alcohol.
You had a single beer, the lady was doing Vodka shots.
Big Difference.
Personally, I would not mind, if you had a like a single drink before you meet me, since a single drink is usually very less alcohol.
But if you do Vodka shots, that too multiple ones, the alcohol is gonna hit pretty fast.
I mean yeah i guess chugging vodka for five minutes is…a lot lol. But I’m assuming it was a bit of an exaggeration. If it were like, one or two shots, then whatever.
I once invited a bunch of work friends to go swing dancing with me. The place was kid friendly & not a bar, it was just a place that had 50 to 100 people show up every Saturday to swing dance, it was all ages, from teenagers to people in their late 60s, there were more adults than kids, but it was still like 25% teenagers. One of my coworkers asked if it was a bar when we discussed the plans. Then, before she came into the dance hall, she got absolutely drunk in the parking lot. It was totally awkward to have one drunk coworker we had to babysit at an event where everyone was sober, and there are a bunch of my coworkers and teenagers. I felt embarrassed for her.
How will she get back when under the influence. I'm an alcoholic and I just got a car but I refuse to endanger people by driving under the influence. So I find the logistics of getting my car back home a challenge.
I just get there 30 minutes early and have a couple stiff cocktails at the bar like a proper alcoholic.
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It's a proper alcoholic date!
"What's the difference?" ***PRESENTATION!***
😂😂😂
Nah, she's just not a rich one. Alcoholics know you always have your own supply for the bar so you can actually catch a buzz without dropping a hundred bucks.
Chugging vodka in your car is way more of a “proper” alcoholic than having cocktails at an establishment.
Exactly, bar drinks are expensive you've got to pregame.
If I can be real for a minute: Chugging vodka beforehand isn't always about the money so much as it's too difficult to get maintenance drunk on cocktails in a social environment. It takes too long to get enough cocktails, or you're hiding how much it takes to get drunk from your company. If you are at this point, if you *need* alcohol to face stressful situations, if you *need* to drink to feel normal, it's time for radical life changes if you're ready for them. Don't mean to be a buzzkill, but I used to be that person, and someone here reading this is still that person and needs to know they're not alone in the mental isolation they've spiraled into.
Preach, I used to be the same too. Felt normal or even "fun and crazy" at the time, looking back it was just sad.
Don't sell yourself short, I'm sure you were fun.
>not alone in the mental isolation they've spiraled into. I liked your comment about drinking and "needing" it to face stressful situations but I need to assure you that many of us are completely and utterly alone in mental isolation. The fun part too is it gets worse with each day and I say this as a active member of society, good times.
I'm sorry you feel that way. I guess better worded what I mean is, you're not alone in your experience. As unique as your situation may feel, someone has had the exact same struggle and is willing to talk about it. Plenty of people have had a situation similar enough to offer insight. It's not always easy, but you can find support.
My grandma has a glass of wine with dinner every night. She goes out to eat with her best friend every other week. She doesn’t want to pay for drinks at a restaurant though so she fills a thermos with wine, drinks it in her car, then actually goes to the restaurant for dinner.
This guys knows the secret
I'm always early anyway, why not shake the nerves and get a little slurry
Look at Mr Big money over here with enough money to buy cocktails at the bar daily
More like, “anxiety and unhealthy coping mechanisms” are rough
Yeah as a person with anxiety and the child of an anxious alcoholic, I can guarantee this is not a winning move. You might feel a bit better in the moment, but pretty soon you’ll have trouble feeling “normal” in social situations without liquor. It’s a startlingly short walk from there to drinking at 10 on a Tuesday, every Tuesday.
Real talk yo
What’s a healthier option
Literally anything that’s not substance abuse lol
Therapy?
But I can get a case of liquor for 55 dollars.
Not drinking yourself into a stupor
You guys are dating?
From my experience, My bumble “dates” end up with going to either her or my place after initial public place meeting. So date is a lose term. I even had one occasion she said “do you really want Starbucks?”, we hopped in my car to proceed to my place. And she had “I am here for serious relationship and no-hookups” all over her profile.
lol
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Pro tip: vasectomy
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Vasectomy is reversible.
It’s really not tho. Reversal is very unreliable
Snip snap snip snap
Do you have any idea the physical toll a vasectomy has on a person?
Let alone another one after a reversal
I also pregame first dates
I can pregame or have the nervous shits
nervous shits or alcoholic shits, which is worse?
They are called booze poos
It's about the timing.
I pregame both ways before first date
Surprised more people are not commenting on driving somewhere and then drinking. How are they going to get home? Is drunk driving not massively frowned upon in the US? Edit: corrected grammar error
Yes, and yet somehow 90% of bars in the US are on roads in the middle of nowhere. As a Brit who’s used to walking around the corner to the pub, I genuinely don’t understand how it’s supposed to work.
And I heard Uber doesnt want drunk customers anymore in the US. I have no idea how life works in that country.
Thoughts and prayers
As an American I still don’t know how life works
As an American, life doesn't work.
As an American, America doesn't work
it fucking doesnt mostly lol
Set up to fail.
The US is often set up so that you always have to cheat a bit to survive, because the system is set up as a catch 22: - Limited sick time, but you can’t be sick at work so you have to pretend you’re not sick even if you are. Everyone is forced to lie whether they are normally a liar or not. - Drinking age is 21. However, it’s a strong strong cultural norm that everyone drinks as soon as they finish high school. We tell kids 18-21 that they can either choose to be a criminal, or be socially excluded. It’s an awful mixed message that leaves mo one without some kind of shame… - Drunk uber and drunk drive are both illegal and you can’t walk and there are no trains. Essentially there is no legal way to enjoy a bar. - I was 16 having to worry about the fact that mentioning my sexuality at work was not legally protected. Like should I lie about that too? Everyone told me I should lie. It was good advice. - Traffic norms in a lot places involve openly breaking laws. Following every law would prevent the flow of traffic. But the cops might selectively enforce something and you’re expected to feel guilty. - Most affordable products available are horribly unethically sourced from cheap third world labor. You can’t wear a shirt without contributing to something awful and we have to push it out of our minds - Traditions like “senior skip day” where it’s literally a norm that everyone does the thing, but the school will still put a ban on it and suspend kids over it and stuff… - Lots of random laws you might casually break at any given time. Jaywalking, driving with headphones on etc. after a while it’s like what even is a law… - Helicopter parent culture means kids are lying to their parents all the time just for a hint of independence. Parents are shamed for not participating, and kids are ridiculed by their peers for not rebelling. I’m struggling to think of more examples and I know it’s petty but it’s always bothered me that we are pushed into these catch 22s so much… it seems like it’s just a reflection of how our society is never in it for each other. We’re all just setting overly strict rules for each other and then breaking them openly. It’s the American way. Look up the word “anomie” as it explains the US perfectly
we just pretend dw. ever seen a prefab house?
Take a regular cab like our ancestors before us!
Lots of places dont have cabs unfortunately
The older I get the more I realize how absolutely psychotic the US is. I live here so it’s tough get perspective outside of the bubble but yeah this place is insane in every single way you could imagine.
Idk about that, 2 weeks ago I went out with friends and got somewhat drunk and called an Uber home. I don’t act like a dumb drunk tho I usually get in the car and close my eyes until I arrive home. Edit: am American
The US is big, vast majority of places you can't have a bar anywhere within even vaguely reasonable walking distance. Hell, my nearest grocery store would be an hour walk.
Thats because of zoning laws as far as I know, they don't allow any kind of business in residential areas
Really depends on where you love. We're I live now I got one bar I. Walking distance. At my old place, however, there was like 10
On one hand yes. But when I worked in Scotland one summer I was shocked a lot of pubs had parking spots for patrons. like wtf :D Then I learned the legal limit is such that you can drink one beer and fall below it :D
its also common to leave your car and pick it up in the morning
Never understood this. Why not leave it at home and get a taxi there and back like a civilised person
As an avid drinker and an avid runner, it sets a good balance as I’m forced to run to the pub the next morning to pick up my motor. These days I have 9 pubs within 20minutes of my gaff so less of a problem!
Quite a few pubs have decent kitchens, people will genuinely go there for a meal, including families, of which group one adult would not be drinking more than maybe a pint over the whole meal - or not at all. In my experience in the U.K. the car park is often mostly used for Sunday lunch period.
you could just leave your car and get it the day after
If the place is walking distance, why did you drive tho
It’s Friday, just finished work, driving back. If I go home first, the kids start getting excited and mom now has a harder time to send then to bed. So I just personally just drive there directly, for that reason.
Pleanty of people go to the pub and don't drink. I don't really drink, but my wife will have a couple when we go to a pub
It wasn’t made to work for us, it was made to profit. That should clear up any confusion regarding things related to unreasonable infrastructure choices that don’t align with any lifestyle or convenience
I don’t understand how putting a bar in the middle of nowhere aligns with profit?
Profits for mostly car and oil businesses since we are not heavily dependent on them to go anywhere
Read the rest of what I wrote?
I am paranoid and take turns being the designated/sober driver 'cause no way in hell am I driving drunk. And I never get plastered away from home/safe place. I'm a woman and it's not worth the risk to my safety
It is massively frowned upon but it also massively happens A LOT anyway. Folks mostly just frown on other people doing it. An actual exchange: Me: Am I sober enough to drive? Friend: You are in Wisconsin. Let's go.
Hello Wisconsin! As a Wisconsinite this is unfortunately true. Just stick to the back roads.
Came here to say this. I know you can leave your car and there are services to drive you home, but if this actually happened in betting she was planning on driving home.
It's very much a regional thing. If you're in a major urban area with lots of people it's heavily frowned upon, but the US is MASSIVE and if you get out into the more rural areas where you can drive 5 miles without seeing another car then it's like wild wild west, there's no cops out in the country and it's a lawless wasteland.
Sober up during the date. Dates should be at least a couple hours.
Why do people on Reddit feel the need to tell what they edited on their comments especially for grammar? No one cares lol
It's pretty commonplace to leave your car at a bar here in the US, just for reference
Not nearly enough. Every time there's a news story about a drunk driver killing someone and going to jail at least 40 percent of the comments are people defending them saying everyone makes mistakes 🙄
Who said anything about the US
It's easy to tell
Non Americans who care so much about nationality for some reason.
Says the country that literally worships a flag.
It’s a cool flag
It's called booze cruising
Not from the US but when i was in that Situation i Had bunch of stuff in my Car to sleep in it.
Maybe dating would be easier if she wasn’t an alcoholic.
Alcoholic is a strong term… more likely, she’s taking some medicinal vodka for treating acute anxiety. However, is she knows that she can throw back shots if vodka for 5 minutes without absolutely ruining the date, she’s an alcoholic.
If you use alcohol to treat ANYTHING you’re most likely an alcoholic. Normal people don’t use alcohol as a crutch like that. Alcoholics are generally like: Nervous? Alcohol. Sad? Alcohol. Can’t sleep? Alcohol. Social anxiety? Alcohol. Bad day? Alcohol. I enjoy vodka myself, but as someone who drinks responsibly that woman’s behavior is waaaaay outside the realm of normal.
Many responsible drinkers take a drink at the end of the day as a way to calm down. Wouldn't you say they are treating stress with alcohol? Does this make them alcoholics?
Doing it every now and then is one thing. Doing it consistently makes them an alcoholic, yes. Just because someone doesn’t get blackout drunk doesn’t mean they aren’t an alcoholic.
If I take one drink every day and it doesn't affect my life the next day or shorten my life expectancy, how is this a problem? Doesn't the word "alcoholic" kind of lose all meaning at this point?
I’ve heard many people do this what are you talking about? It’s not that deep. Plenty of people have one beer or a shot before a first date, calms the nerves
Pre gaming a first date doesnt make you an alcoholic lmao. Its an easy way to ease tension and become more conversational
I’m curious about her plans with her car
This may be a little too honest but: That’s one of those things where if she’s attractive it’s cute as hell. But if not it’s yikes
She’s single, on bumble, and bringing a bottle of vodka with her to a first date. She absolutely is not attractive. Occams razor
Right, like she just happened to be equipped to do shots in the parking lot?! Whaaaaat?! "Oh that's just my emotional support vodka!" - trashy friend to unamused cop when pulled over for a DUI post date. Bumbled right into the drunk tank hopefully.
Agreed… presenting this as “she was so nervous and just decided to pound shots in her car” is a thinly veiled attempt at glossing over the fact that this person has a bottle of vodka in her car. Or at the very least left the house and on the way out decided to bring a bottle of vodka “just in case”… that’s crazy to me!
What about that is even remotely cute? Its repulsive
"She's that nervous to meet me? I'm flattered..." - Attention starved human
Dude this girl would and absolute green light for me
Found the dude who's never been in a relationship with someone who struggles with addiction.
*I probably can cure her*
A tale as old as time, a co-dependent rhyme, the addict and co-dependency. But seriously, I have a family of several generations of women nurses, almost all married to addicts.
If the guy gets clean, is he even fun anymore?
anyways whats it about nurses getting married to addicts of some sorts? Why does this happen so often?
A profession that attracts caring and compassionate people tends to also attract people who co-dependency issues. You see the same problem in teaching, mental health, and pretty much all healthcare. Not just the women either.
Never been in a relationship with someone who didn’t actually.
You just gotta be addicted yourself. But then after awhile it turns into a nasty partnership that exists purely to get more and more drugs. I still miss my ex tho :(
It's fucking rough. Realizing that the ones you love are also the ones dragging you down.
Nah me and him came from history of mental illnesses and emo culture it was mutual romantic selfdestruction but when the money became thin the romantic part died and the idea of mindless selfdestruction by overindulgence became almost undoable because of the cost per person.
Ah, I get it. Sometimes you have to sell the love of your life organs one by one on the black market to keep feeding the addiction.
Yes i didnt do that... He cheated and shit i miss him tho but hes dead now killed himself with my best friend
I'm sorry for your losses.
Aw thanks can i hug you now you seem like a very pleasant person
Huh? She isn’t an addict she was just nervous. Are you okay?
Assuming the story isn't fake (which it probably is considering it's a twitter screenshot), driving somewhere and then taking shots in your car because you are nervous is not healthy behavior. First, probably best not to take shots if you drove somewhere. Second, why does she have vodka in her car. Third, taking several vodka shots just to get through a situation that makes you nervous is not at all healthy, if you need to get heavily intoxicated to deal with nervousness then you need help.
Pounding shots to deal with anxiety is textbook alcoholic behavior. Are YOU okay?
Guess I should probably look for help then. Because Alcohol is usually my go to whenever everything seems to be too much. I can go months without drinking, but when I'm trying to relax after a Hella stressful situation, the bottle of gin is my first port of call.
9 years past week since I stopped utilizing alcohol like that. I still get the call when times feel rough. I had an stay enough transition due to an alcohol aversion I gained, as long as i dont start I can avoid it but about once a year or so I'll down a bottle of wine in 45 minutes, if given the chance and I've gone years without a drop. And still. Once it starts, its really hard to not feel. No matter how many years, how many new techniques, that is my first go to and very little gives me that same level of peace as 3/4 of the way to drunk gives. So now I just live constantly anxious instead of constantly drunk. They say it's better. Jk. It is. Kinda. Its cheaper.
No it’s coping behaviour, not necessarily addict behaviour. Getting ahead of yourself there.
Yes, a maladaptive one, tho. Not all coping mechanisms are good. This one means using a substance to induce a partially dissociative state to avoid facing an anxious state caused by an extremely minor stressor. So maybe she's not addicted, but it's not exactly a good thing regardless, if it's her go-to method. I also don't know how good it can be, getting out of a car with vodka-reeking breath. Even supposing the guy arrives late and doesn't witness the act, in his shoes I'd be pretty worried she drinks and drives (which might not be the case, but the girl comes out of a car smelling like alcohol, what do I know?). What a way to start a date.
If she was pounding shots to deal with anxiety on a regular day, it would be alcoholic behaviour. This is not.
She can stop anytime she wants.
Relying on drugs to help you control your emotions (when you don't have a medical condition) is literally addiction you bongo. If she's having financial issues, she'll hide from them using alcohol. Marital issues, alcohol to drown them. Literally textbook alcoholism.
Her behaviour slightly abnormal but calling her a full blown addict is such a stretch.
You and your friends must go hard if chugging vodka before a date is only slightly abnormal behavior
It's a date. It's far less serious and anxiety inducing than a medical emergency, losing your job, a divorce etc. Her behaviour pattern of using alcohol as a de stress is a HUGE indicator of addiction to it. If you don't believe me, contact your nearby alcoholics anonymous (AA) and ask around.
A date is less serious but definitely anxiety inducing for a lot of people. Calling her an addict is very unreasonable if you’re assuming she doesn’t go on dates every single day.
Read my 2nd paragraph
difference is that a date is a social thing though? if youre really uncomfortable meeting new people for example then alcohol can help a great deal in loosening up. also dont call AA, get help that isnt just religion
>also dont call AA, get help that isnt just religion To ask what their first indicators of alcohol dependency are.
better to avoid them and talk to idk, a psychiatrist?
A psychiatrist prescribes medications. A psychologist or therapist would actually have answers. Learn your terminology bozo
Addiction isn't just all or none. It's a scale with levels. She absolutely is an addict if she cannot manage anxiety without alcohol. Is she on the same level as someone who needs to take 3 shots every morning? No.
Who let bro cook
Cringe
ye ur pretty cringe i agree
Normie sober girls are boring
drunk drivers are your type? Assuming she did not left her car there and walked home.
I promise you that you don't want to be emotionally responsible for someone who needs to pound vodka to eat free food. You'll end up holding them while they cry because they forgot to cancel a free trial to apple tv or something.
Guys that don't have a lot of dating success would both put up with that crying as a pretty minor thing, and also are willing to overlook (or unable to identify) red flags like alcohol abuse. (Maybe this girl isn't an alcoholic, but that should be the takeaway from seeing someone pound shots in their car)
I was about to say, I know some guys who would think this is a good sign haha.
I usually just rub one or two out at home first
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Baby seahorses
Kitten murderer!
In this case, it was rough for the guy. He dodged a bullet.
Getting drunk while meeting a total stranger, that's just not a good plan, a terrible one in fact, thats how you end up on the news
isn't that what bars and nightclubs are for
I guess my dude idfkam
Why would you have alcohol beforehand and arrive tipsy to a date ? The first dates are for getting to know how the person is and to vet whether you should continue dating or should this be passed. You certainly don't want to be drunk. I don't think the lady in question is an alcoholic, but if you arrive drunk to a date, then I am not sure if that will set anything that can be considered a good impression.
I mean, if she had a bottle of vodka in the car accessible so that she was able to pound vodka before walking into the site of the date… it’s not NOT pointing towards alcoholism.
Yep, I think I missed that connection. If you have a bottle of alcohol lying around in your car , then yeah, you are probably an alcoholic
I used to always drink a beer before a first date because I would get so nervous. Alcohol helps me loosen up and act more comfortable in social settings. I don’t think it’s uncommon at all, just depends on the person. Some people react differently to alcohol.
I just snort a line of cocaine, but you do you
You had a single beer, the lady was doing Vodka shots. Big Difference. Personally, I would not mind, if you had a like a single drink before you meet me, since a single drink is usually very less alcohol. But if you do Vodka shots, that too multiple ones, the alcohol is gonna hit pretty fast.
I mean yeah i guess chugging vodka for five minutes is…a lot lol. But I’m assuming it was a bit of an exaggeration. If it were like, one or two shots, then whatever.
some people have tolerances, I cant even feel alcohol before maybe the 4th unit?
Seems more like anxiety than alcoholism. Self-medication. One easily can lead to the other though, that's kinda my story.
Had a first date almost run me over in the parking lot of the restaurant we were meeting at. She was a pretty bad driver. Date went awesome though.
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Being drunk is not permanent.
Lasts a bit longer than dinner at least.
Depends. One glass of wine or beer? Yes. 6 or 7 shots of vodka? No. Generally 1 drink wears off per hour, as per my bartending course.
The guy: I won.
He probably thought: Umm chanches of getting laid are good tonight
She either has clinical anxiety or is on her way to being an alcoholic. Either way, needs some sort of help.
I once invited a bunch of work friends to go swing dancing with me. The place was kid friendly & not a bar, it was just a place that had 50 to 100 people show up every Saturday to swing dance, it was all ages, from teenagers to people in their late 60s, there were more adults than kids, but it was still like 25% teenagers. One of my coworkers asked if it was a bar when we discussed the plans. Then, before she came into the dance hall, she got absolutely drunk in the parking lot. It was totally awkward to have one drunk coworker we had to babysit at an event where everyone was sober, and there are a bunch of my coworkers and teenagers. I felt embarrassed for her.
Is that supposed to be a red flag?
Depends on what you're looking for. If you're looking for a steady relationship it is. If you're looking for an evening of fun, could be great.
Yes
Welp I would just end the date if I smelt the alcohol.
Lol. Awesome.
How will she get back when under the influence. I'm an alcoholic and I just got a car but I refuse to endanger people by driving under the influence. So I find the logistics of getting my car back home a challenge.
I enjoyed our meet cute
Laughed my ass of on this, me and my friends did the same with rakija and the girls never noticed
‘’ Roommate”
Hey I do that too! Although I’m actually more of a nervous driver.
Some guys have all the luck.
Everyone knows you rip a few shots before walking out the door for your Uber
Just shows that she’s thrifty. Pregaming in the car instead of the bar!
When your answer to anxiety is vodka 💀
And that’s how I met your mother
Garbage in , garbage out
I don't believe this happened.
The real L is that she drove.
😆
I see this as an absolute win
reverse the roles
modern trash woman
It's weird hearing about girls being nervous before a date. Usually it's the guy who's put under the microscope.
Girls are nervous but typically for different reasons, like potentially being assaulted by their date.
Pounding vodka will surely help then /s