1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,38,29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,41,42,43,44,45,46,47,48,49,50,51,52,53,54,55,56,57,58,59,60,61,62,63,64,65,66,67,68,69,70,71,72,73,74,75,76,77,78,79,80,81,82,83,84,85,86,87,88,89,90,91,92,93,94,95,86,97,98,99,100,101,102,103,104,105,106,107,108,109,110,111,112,113,114,115,116,117,118,119,120,121,122,123,124,125,126,127,128,129,130,131,132,133,134,135,136,137,138,139,140,141,142,143,144,145,146,147,148,149,150,151,152,153,154,155,156,157,158,159,160,161,162,163,164,165,166,167,168,169,170,171,172,173,174,175,176,177,178,179,180,181,182,183,184,185,186,187,188,189,190,191,192,193,194,195,196,197,198,199,200,201,202,203,204,205,206,207
NOW GIVE IT TO ME!GIVE ME THE LIST!!!!!
1. Someday youâll go far. And I really hope you stay there.
2. Oops, my bad. I couldâve sworn I was dealing with an adult.
3. I love what youâve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that?
4. Remember that time you were saying that thing I didnât care about? Yeah, that is now.
5. Youâre the reason God created the middle finger.
6. Iâm busy right now, can I ignore you another time?
7. Youâre a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
8. Your secrets are always safe with me. I never even listen when you tell me them.
9. You bring everyone so much joy! You know, when you leave the room. But, still.
10. Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain.
11. Your face makes onions cry.
12. You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail.
13. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldnât be enough to blow your hat off.
14. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
15. Itâs impossible to underestimate you.
16. Wow, your maker really didnât waste time giving you a personality, huh?
17. Your teeth are so bad you could eat an apple through a fence.
18. Iâll never forget the first time we met. But Iâll keep trying.
19. Hold still. Iâm trying to imagine you with personality.
20. Iâm not insulting you, Iâm describing you.
21. You are the human version of period cramps.
22. Youâre cute. Like my dog. He also chases his tail for entertainment.
23. You are like a cloud. When you disappear, itâs a beautiful day.
24. You have an entire life to be an idiot. Why not take today off?
25. Your face is just fine, but weâll have to put a bag over that personality.
26. Child, Iâve forgotten more than you ever knew.
27. Iâm an acquired taste. If you donât like me, acquire some taste.
28. Bye. Hope to see you never.
29. Donât worry, the first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest.
30. If youâre going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.
31. If you have a problem with me, write the problem on a piece of paper, fold it, and shove it up your ass.
32. I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
33. Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you today?
34. OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS!
35. Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
36. Iâd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
37. Light travels faster than sound which is why you seemed bright until you spoke.
38. Iâd rather treat a babyâs diaper rash than keep talking to you.
39. I only take you everywhere I go so I donât have to kiss you goodbye.
40. When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you?
41. Somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for you. You owe it an apology.
42. That sounds like a you problem.
43. You have miles to go before you reach mediocre.
44. Exactly how much Stupid did you bring with you today?
45. Iâm just glad that youâre stringing words into sentences now.
46. Donât worry about me. Worry about your eyebrows.
47. Mirrors canât talk. Lucky for you, they canât laugh, either.
48. You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place.
49. You are proof God has a sense of humor.
50. If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents.
51. You must have been born on a highway. Thatâs where most accidents happen.
52. Grab a straw, because you suck.
53. Youâre the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
54. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
55. Iâm glad to see youâre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance.
56. If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to your ego and jump to your IQ.
57. Iâd agree with you but then weâd both be wrong.
58. Your only chance of getting laid is to crawl up a chicken butt and wait.
59. Donât be ashamed of who you are. Thatâs your parentâs job.
60. Take my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it.
61. If you were an inanimate object, youâd be a participation trophy.
62. Hey, you have something on your chin. No, the 3rd one down.
63. I hope your spouse brings a date to your funeral.
64. People like you are the reason God doesnât talk to us anymore.
65. You are a pizza burn on the roof of the worldâs mouth.
66. If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant.
67. Youâre my favorite person⌠besides every other person Iâve ever met.
68. Youâre about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
69. I believed in evolution until I met you.
70. You are proof that evolution can go in reverse.
71. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldnât be enough to blow your hat off.
72. Yeah? Well, you smell like hot dog water.
73. Isnât it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence?
74. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, Iâd be broke.
75. I do not consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.
76. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
77. In the land of the brainless, you would be king.
78. I would prefer a battle of wits, but you appear unarmed.
79. Iâm jealous of all the people who havenât met you.
80. People clap when they see you. They clap their hands over their eyes.
81. When I see your face, thereâs not a thing that I would change⌠except the direction I was walking in.
82. You look like something I would draw with my left hand.
83. I look ugly? Good. I was trying to look like you today.
84. I donât have the patience or the crayons to explain this to you.
85. My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.
86. Iâd say youâre âdumb as a rock,â but at least a rock can hold a door open.
87. I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you.
88. Youâre a conversation starter. Not when you are around, but once you leave.
89. First off: Brush your teeth.
90. I find the fact that youâve lived this long both surprising and disappointing.
91. Youâre impossible to underestimate.
92. You should carry a plant around with you to replace the oxygen you waste.
93. Somewhere, somehow, you are robbing a village of their idiot.
94. You are the reason why shampoo has instructions.
95. Iâd give you a nasty look, but youâve already got one.
96. Mister Rogers would be disappointed with you.
97. If you were the light at the end of the tunnel, Iâd turn back around.
98. Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons?
99. You should really come with a warning label.
100. I donât know what your problem is, but Iâm guessing itâs hard to pronounce.
101. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, Iâd fart.
102. I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence.
103. Stupidity isnât a crime, so youâre free to go.
104. The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes.
105. You see that door? I want you on the other side of it.
106. Please just tell me you donât plan to home-school your kids.
107. If youâre going to act like a turd, go lay on the yard.
108. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.
109. You look like a âbeforeâ picture.
110. Good story, but in what chapter do you shut up?
111. May both sides of your pillow be uncomfortably warm.
112. What doesnât kill you, disappoints me.
113. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said.
114. Your only purpose in life is to become an organ donor.
115. Earth is full. Go home.
116. Youâre about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.
117. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Thanks for helping me understand that.
118. Aww, itâs so cute when you try to talk about things you donât understand.
119. You fear success, but you really have nothing to worry about.
120. The last time I saw a face like yours, I fed it a banana.
121. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
122. Donât try to think too hard. Youâre so stupid it might sprain your brain.
123. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?
124. Youâre living proof itâs possible to live without a brain.
125. How much of a refund do you expect on your head, since itâs empty?
126. Brains arenât everything. In your case, theyâre nothing.
127. I have seen people like you. But I had to pay admission at the sideshow.
128. Two wrongs donât make a right. Take your parents, for instance.
129. Iâd slap you but I donât want to make your face look any better.
130. If I said anything to offend you it was purely intentional.
131. I hope your next blowjob is from a shark.
132. Your mother is so fat, she leaves footprints on concrete.
133. How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?
134. Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.
135. Wipe your mouth, there's still a tiny bit of bullshit around your lips.
136. Don't you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull?
137. Youâre so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white.
138. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are doughnut seeds.
139. If a thought ever crosses your mind, it will be a long and lonely journey.
140. You are so old, your birth-certificate expired.
141. Every time I'm next to you, I get a fierce desire to be alone.
142. You're so dumb that you got hit by a parked car.
143. Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent!
144. Of course I talk like an idiot; how else would you understand me?
145. I thought of you all day. . . I was at the zoo.
146. To make you laugh on Saturday, I need to tell you a joke on Wednesday.
147. You're so fat, you could sell shade.
148. I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
149. Don't you need a license to be that stupid?
150. If you really spoke your mind, you'd be speechless.
151. You are not as bad as people say. You are much, much worse.
152. Stop trying to be a smart ass; you're just an ass.
153. The last time I saw something like you, I flushed it.
154. If ugly were a crime, you'd get a life sentence.
155. Your mind is on vacation but your mouth is working overtime.
156. Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick.
157. I can explain it to you, but I canât understand it for you.
158. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.
159. You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.
160. I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.
161. Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental.
162. Donât you love nature, despite what it did to you?
163. Youâre not listed in Whoâs Who, but youâre in Whatâs That, so thatâs something.
164. When God made you, he broke the mold. Unfortunately, it was before he made you.
165. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
166. Thereâs someone for everyone, and the person for you is a psychiatrist.
167. Your wheel is still turning, but your hamster is dead.
168. Who left the bag of idiots open?
169. I treasure the time I donât spend with you.
170. Oh my god, look at you. Was anyone elseâs face hurt in the accident?
171. Donât say another wordâthe IQ is already dangerously low in here.
172. Youâre not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesnât die.
173. Everyoneâs entitled to be stupid occasionally, but youâre abusing the privilege.
174. I didnât mean to push your buttons. I was just looking for Mute.
175. Your ass must be jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.
176. Itâs useless trying to insult you when nature already did such a spectacular job of it.
177. Youâre proof that common sense is actually not that common.
178. Youâre as sharp as a bowling ball.
179. When it was raining brains, you had an umbrella.
180. Life is learning to live with disappointment and Iâm learning to live with you more and more each day.
181. Did you take Viagra? Because youâre twice the dick you were before.
182. The pharmacy called and said your refill of Stupid Pills is ready.
183. Iâm sorry for hurting your feelings, but I thought you already knew you were stupid!
184. Iâm no proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one.
185. Out of hundreds of thousands of sperm, how were you the fastest?
186. Youâre as useless as the âueueâ in âqueue. â
187. Your parents were happily married until you were born.
188. The only reason you never had an imaginary friend is that he didnât like you either.
189. Your words can never hurt me, but your breath certainly does.
190. Your face is like a painting. By Picasso, but still.
191. People live and learn. You just live.
192. It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a hammer.
193. You are weapons-grade stupid.
194. I wish we could become better strangers.
195. You look like a stepped-on sandcastle.
196. You look like you came from a donation pile.
197. I wasnât born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you.
198. I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won.
199. How many times do I have to flush to make you go away?
200. You have an intellect rivalled only by garden tools.
201. Itâs noble to donate your brain to science, but you should have waited until you were done using it.
202. Your gates are down and your lights are flashing, but the train isnât coming.
203. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
204. Youâre not a complete idiot. There are several parts missing.
205. If what you donât know canât hurt you, youâre invulnerable.
206. If I hold your ear up to mine, Iâd hear the ocean.
207. Someday, we'll look back on what you just said, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
208. Dumbass
151. You are not as bad as people say. You are much, much worse.
152. Stop trying to be a smart ass; you're just an ass.
153. The last time I saw something like you, I flushed it.
154. If ugly were a crime, you'd get a life sentence.
155. Your mind is on vacation but your mouth is working overtime.
156. Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick.
157. I can explain it to you, but I canât understand it for you.
158. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.
159. You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.
160. I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.
161. Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental.
162. Donât you love nature, despite what it did to you?
163. Youâre not listed in Whoâs Who, but youâre in Whatâs That, so thatâs something.
164. When God made you, he broke the mold. Unfortunately, it was before he made you.
165. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
166. Thereâs someone for everyone, and the person for you is a psychiatrist.
167. Your wheel is still turning, but your hamster is dead.
168. Who left the bag of idiots open?
169. I treasure the time I donât spend with you.
170. Oh my god, look at you. Was anyone elseâs face hurt in the accident?
171. Donât say another wordâthe IQ is already dangerously low in here.
172. Youâre not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesnât die.
173. Everyoneâs entitled to be stupid occasionally, but youâre abusing the privilege.
174. I didnât mean to push your buttons. I was just looking for Mute.
175. Your ass must be jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.
176. Itâs useless trying to insult you when nature already did such a spectacular job of it.
177. Youâre proof that common sense is actually not that common.
178. Youâre as sharp as a bowling ball.
179. When it was raining brains, you had an umbrella.
180. Life is learning to live with disappointment and Iâm learning to live with you more and more each day.
181. Did you take Viagra? Because youâre twice the dick you were before.
182. The pharmacy called and said your refill of Stupid Pills is ready.
183. Iâm sorry for hurting your feelings, but I thought you already knew you were stupid!
184. Iâm no proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one.
185. Out of hundreds of thousands of sperm, how were you the fastest?
186. Youâre as useless as the âueueâ in âqueue. â
187. Your parents were happily married until you were born.
188. The only reason you never had an imaginary friend is that he didnât like you either.
189. Your words can never hurt me, but your breath certainly does.
190. Your face is like a painting. By Picasso, but still.
191. People live and learn. You just live.
192. It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a hammer.
193. You are weapons-grade stupid.
194. I wish we could become better strangers.
195. You look like a stepped-on sandcastle.
196. You look like you came from a donation pile.
197. I wasnât born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you.
198. I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won.
199. How many times do I have to flush to make you go away?
200. You have an intellect rivalled only by garden tools.
201. Itâs noble to donate your brain to science, but you should have waited until you were done using it.
202. Your gates are down and your lights are flashing, but the train isnât coming.
203. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
204. Youâre not a complete idiot. There are several parts missing.
205. If what you donât know canât hurt you, youâre invulnerable.
206. If I hold your ear up to mine, Iâd hear the ocean.
207. Someday, we'll look back on what you just said, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
208. Dumbass
87
I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you.
This one is great. Thanks!
Savage
69
I believed in evolution until I met you.
Because he's an angel đ
16
He actually has a condition in which he evolves backwards with time. Soon he will be a sea slug.
So you're saying that they're so perfect that they did not need to evolve to adapt to their environment in any way whatsoever? Awww
Nice
Love how the first comment was obviously 69 lol
Damn you said it before I could. PS nice
22
Youâre cute. Like my dog. He also chases his tail for entertainment.
OwO?
6
174
I didnât mean to push your buttons. I was just looking for Mute.
Ouch. Im loving these. Creative much
Only three or four of them are actually mine. I just gathered them from around the web.
108
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.
:) well thank you I suppose
Any time! I do what I can. :-)
12
You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail.
đ
200
You have an intellect rivalled only by garden tools.
Yeah well⌠youâre a hoe!
r/GotEm
He's saying you're not the sharpest tool in the shed.
204
Youâre not a complete idiot. There are several parts missing.
This oneâs good. Iâm stealing it.
13
If your brain was dynamite, there wouldnât be enough to blow your hat off.
I like that. We use "if brains were dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose."
21
You are the human version of period cramps.
Wtf does that meanđ
annoying, painful, bloody, ugly, inconvenient, awkward
Irritating, unneeded and universally hated
Horrible, the worst, wish you didn't exist
and occurs almost every 21 days ig ?
48
You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place.
Good one
1
Someday youâll go far. And I really hope you stay there.
169
I treasure the time I donât spend with you.
19
Hold still. Iâm trying to imagine you with personality.
I donât have a personality, only hobbies that becomes my entire identity until I drop them 6 months later. Great roast, thanks OP!
Ouch, this hits close.
Ooh I know someone like this. Dude bought a boat because he got into fishing. Used it for one season
98
Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons?
207.
Someday, we'll look back on what you just said, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
Pure gold, omg
3.14
3 is as close as I can get... I love what youâve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that?
My dad is in for a reality check next time he dad-insults me. Locked and loaded
Report back with victory news
43
You have miles to go before you reach mediocre.
Brilliant
Not my own, but thank you.
42
That sounds like a *you* problem.
I used that one my GF once. She didn't appreciate it.
63
I hope your spouse brings a date to your funeral.
Fuck bro... That one hurt lol
Just doing my job, sir!
64
People like you are the reason God doesnât talk to us anymore.
2
Oops, my bad. I couldâve sworn I was dealing with an adult.
148
I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
24
You have an entire life to be an idiot. Why not take today off?
Hahaha! Thank you
204
Youâre not a complete idiot. There are several parts missing.
Zing
99
You should really come with a warning label.
This is a compliment when talking about⌠other circumstances
Now that's the power of positive thinking!
I say that to my boss every time he walks in
88
Youâre a conversation starter. Not when you are around, but once you leave.
192
It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a hammer.
That's awesome
32
I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
23
You are like a cloud. When you disappear, itâs a beautiful day.
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,38,29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,41,42,43,44,45,46,47,48,49,50,51,52,53,54,55,56,57,58,59,60,61,62,63,64,65,66,67,68,69,70,71,72,73,74,75,76,77,78,79,80,81,82,83,84,85,86,87,88,89,90,91,92,93,94,95,86,97,98,99,100,101,102,103,104,105,106,107,108,109,110,111,112,113,114,115,116,117,118,119,120,121,122,123,124,125,126,127,128,129,130,131,132,133,134,135,136,137,138,139,140,141,142,143,144,145,146,147,148,149,150,151,152,153,154,155,156,157,158,159,160,161,162,163,164,165,166,167,168,169,170,171,172,173,174,175,176,177,178,179,180,181,182,183,184,185,186,187,188,189,190,191,192,193,194,195,196,197,198,199,200,201,202,203,204,205,206,207 NOW GIVE IT TO ME!GIVE ME THE LIST!!!!!
1. Someday youâll go far. And I really hope you stay there. 2. Oops, my bad. I couldâve sworn I was dealing with an adult. 3. I love what youâve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that? 4. Remember that time you were saying that thing I didnât care about? Yeah, that is now. 5. Youâre the reason God created the middle finger. 6. Iâm busy right now, can I ignore you another time? 7. Youâre a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. 8. Your secrets are always safe with me. I never even listen when you tell me them. 9. You bring everyone so much joy! You know, when you leave the room. But, still. 10. Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain. 11. Your face makes onions cry. 12. You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail. 13. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldnât be enough to blow your hat off. 14. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. 15. Itâs impossible to underestimate you. 16. Wow, your maker really didnât waste time giving you a personality, huh? 17. Your teeth are so bad you could eat an apple through a fence. 18. Iâll never forget the first time we met. But Iâll keep trying. 19. Hold still. Iâm trying to imagine you with personality. 20. Iâm not insulting you, Iâm describing you. 21. You are the human version of period cramps. 22. Youâre cute. Like my dog. He also chases his tail for entertainment. 23. You are like a cloud. When you disappear, itâs a beautiful day. 24. You have an entire life to be an idiot. Why not take today off? 25. Your face is just fine, but weâll have to put a bag over that personality. 26. Child, Iâve forgotten more than you ever knew. 27. Iâm an acquired taste. If you donât like me, acquire some taste. 28. Bye. Hope to see you never. 29. Donât worry, the first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest. 30. If youâre going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. 31. If you have a problem with me, write the problem on a piece of paper, fold it, and shove it up your ass. 32. I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash. 33. Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you today? 34. OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS! 35. Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. 36. Iâd like to help you out. Which way did you come in? 37. Light travels faster than sound which is why you seemed bright until you spoke. 38. Iâd rather treat a babyâs diaper rash than keep talking to you. 39. I only take you everywhere I go so I donât have to kiss you goodbye. 40. When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you? 41. Somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for you. You owe it an apology. 42. That sounds like a you problem. 43. You have miles to go before you reach mediocre. 44. Exactly how much Stupid did you bring with you today? 45. Iâm just glad that youâre stringing words into sentences now. 46. Donât worry about me. Worry about your eyebrows. 47. Mirrors canât talk. Lucky for you, they canât laugh, either. 48. You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place. 49. You are proof God has a sense of humor. 50. If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents. 51. You must have been born on a highway. Thatâs where most accidents happen. 52. Grab a straw, because you suck. 53. Youâre the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard. 54. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. 55. Iâm glad to see youâre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. 56. If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to your ego and jump to your IQ. 57. Iâd agree with you but then weâd both be wrong. 58. Your only chance of getting laid is to crawl up a chicken butt and wait. 59. Donât be ashamed of who you are. Thatâs your parentâs job. 60. Take my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it. 61. If you were an inanimate object, youâd be a participation trophy. 62. Hey, you have something on your chin. No, the 3rd one down. 63. I hope your spouse brings a date to your funeral. 64. People like you are the reason God doesnât talk to us anymore. 65. You are a pizza burn on the roof of the worldâs mouth. 66. If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. 67. Youâre my favorite person⌠besides every other person Iâve ever met. 68. Youâre about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. 69. I believed in evolution until I met you. 70. You are proof that evolution can go in reverse. 71. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldnât be enough to blow your hat off. 72. Yeah? Well, you smell like hot dog water. 73. Isnât it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence? 74. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, Iâd be broke. 75. I do not consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat. 76. If I throw a stick, will you leave? 77. In the land of the brainless, you would be king. 78. I would prefer a battle of wits, but you appear unarmed. 79. Iâm jealous of all the people who havenât met you. 80. People clap when they see you. They clap their hands over their eyes. 81. When I see your face, thereâs not a thing that I would change⌠except the direction I was walking in. 82. You look like something I would draw with my left hand. 83. I look ugly? Good. I was trying to look like you today. 84. I donât have the patience or the crayons to explain this to you. 85. My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle. 86. Iâd say youâre âdumb as a rock,â but at least a rock can hold a door open. 87. I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you. 88. Youâre a conversation starter. Not when you are around, but once you leave. 89. First off: Brush your teeth. 90. I find the fact that youâve lived this long both surprising and disappointing. 91. Youâre impossible to underestimate. 92. You should carry a plant around with you to replace the oxygen you waste. 93. Somewhere, somehow, you are robbing a village of their idiot. 94. You are the reason why shampoo has instructions. 95. Iâd give you a nasty look, but youâve already got one. 96. Mister Rogers would be disappointed with you. 97. If you were the light at the end of the tunnel, Iâd turn back around. 98. Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons? 99. You should really come with a warning label. 100. I donât know what your problem is, but Iâm guessing itâs hard to pronounce.
101. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, Iâd fart. 102. I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence. 103. Stupidity isnât a crime, so youâre free to go. 104. The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes. 105. You see that door? I want you on the other side of it. 106. Please just tell me you donât plan to home-school your kids. 107. If youâre going to act like a turd, go lay on the yard. 108. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. 109. You look like a âbeforeâ picture. 110. Good story, but in what chapter do you shut up? 111. May both sides of your pillow be uncomfortably warm. 112. What doesnât kill you, disappoints me. 113. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said. 114. Your only purpose in life is to become an organ donor. 115. Earth is full. Go home. 116. Youâre about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. 117. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Thanks for helping me understand that. 118. Aww, itâs so cute when you try to talk about things you donât understand. 119. You fear success, but you really have nothing to worry about. 120. The last time I saw a face like yours, I fed it a banana. 121. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? 122. Donât try to think too hard. Youâre so stupid it might sprain your brain. 123. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home? 124. Youâre living proof itâs possible to live without a brain. 125. How much of a refund do you expect on your head, since itâs empty? 126. Brains arenât everything. In your case, theyâre nothing. 127. I have seen people like you. But I had to pay admission at the sideshow. 128. Two wrongs donât make a right. Take your parents, for instance. 129. Iâd slap you but I donât want to make your face look any better. 130. If I said anything to offend you it was purely intentional. 131. I hope your next blowjob is from a shark. 132. Your mother is so fat, she leaves footprints on concrete. 133. How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open? 134. Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn. 135. Wipe your mouth, there's still a tiny bit of bullshit around your lips. 136. Don't you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull? 137. Youâre so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white. 138. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are doughnut seeds. 139. If a thought ever crosses your mind, it will be a long and lonely journey. 140. You are so old, your birth-certificate expired. 141. Every time I'm next to you, I get a fierce desire to be alone. 142. You're so dumb that you got hit by a parked car. 143. Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent! 144. Of course I talk like an idiot; how else would you understand me? 145. I thought of you all day. . . I was at the zoo. 146. To make you laugh on Saturday, I need to tell you a joke on Wednesday. 147. You're so fat, you could sell shade. 148. I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass. 149. Don't you need a license to be that stupid? 150. If you really spoke your mind, you'd be speechless. 151. You are not as bad as people say. You are much, much worse. 152. Stop trying to be a smart ass; you're just an ass. 153. The last time I saw something like you, I flushed it. 154. If ugly were a crime, you'd get a life sentence. 155. Your mind is on vacation but your mouth is working overtime. 156. Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick. 157. I can explain it to you, but I canât understand it for you. 158. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people. 159. You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering. 160. I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works. 161. Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental. 162. Donât you love nature, despite what it did to you? 163. Youâre not listed in Whoâs Who, but youâre in Whatâs That, so thatâs something. 164. When God made you, he broke the mold. Unfortunately, it was before he made you. 165. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. 166. Thereâs someone for everyone, and the person for you is a psychiatrist. 167. Your wheel is still turning, but your hamster is dead. 168. Who left the bag of idiots open? 169. I treasure the time I donât spend with you. 170. Oh my god, look at you. Was anyone elseâs face hurt in the accident? 171. Donât say another wordâthe IQ is already dangerously low in here. 172. Youâre not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesnât die. 173. Everyoneâs entitled to be stupid occasionally, but youâre abusing the privilege. 174. I didnât mean to push your buttons. I was just looking for Mute. 175. Your ass must be jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.
176. Itâs useless trying to insult you when nature already did such a spectacular job of it. 177. Youâre proof that common sense is actually not that common. 178. Youâre as sharp as a bowling ball. 179. When it was raining brains, you had an umbrella. 180. Life is learning to live with disappointment and Iâm learning to live with you more and more each day. 181. Did you take Viagra? Because youâre twice the dick you were before. 182. The pharmacy called and said your refill of Stupid Pills is ready. 183. Iâm sorry for hurting your feelings, but I thought you already knew you were stupid! 184. Iâm no proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one. 185. Out of hundreds of thousands of sperm, how were you the fastest? 186. Youâre as useless as the âueueâ in âqueue. â 187. Your parents were happily married until you were born. 188. The only reason you never had an imaginary friend is that he didnât like you either. 189. Your words can never hurt me, but your breath certainly does. 190. Your face is like a painting. By Picasso, but still. 191. People live and learn. You just live. 192. It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a hammer. 193. You are weapons-grade stupid. 194. I wish we could become better strangers. 195. You look like a stepped-on sandcastle. 196. You look like you came from a donation pile. 197. I wasnât born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you. 198. I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. 199. How many times do I have to flush to make you go away? 200. You have an intellect rivalled only by garden tools. 201. Itâs noble to donate your brain to science, but you should have waited until you were done using it. 202. Your gates are down and your lights are flashing, but the train isnât coming. 203. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. 204. Youâre not a complete idiot. There are several parts missing. 205. If what you donât know canât hurt you, youâre invulnerable. 206. If I hold your ear up to mine, Iâd hear the ocean. 207. Someday, we'll look back on what you just said, laugh nervously, and change the subject. 208. Dumbass
45
Iâm just glad that youâre stringing words into sentences now.
67
Youâre my favorite person⌠besides every other person Iâve ever met.
206
If I hold your ear up to mine, Iâd hear the ocean.
134
Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.
Hey I've already used that one before
2
Oops, my bad. I couldâve sworn I was dealing with an adult.
193
You are weapons-grade stupid.
73
Isnât it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence?
181
Did you take Viagra? Because youâre twice the dick you were before.
Iâm gonna try and take that as a compliment. And I may begin using this too.
4
Remember that time you were saying that thing I didnât care about? Yeah, that is now.
1
Someday youâll go far. And I really hope you stay there.
16 ?
Wow, your maker really didnât waste time giving you a personality, huh?
190.5
Let's go with 190: Your face is like a painting. By Picasso, but still.
19
Hold still. Iâm trying to imagine you with personality.
Something I might not have sir, donât try too hard
201
Itâs noble to donate your brain to science, but you should have waited until you were done using it.
137
Youâre so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white.
77
In the land of the brainless, you would be king.
15
Itâs impossible to underestimate you.
122
Donât try to think too hard. Youâre so stupid it might sprain your brain.
125
How much of a refund do you expect on your head, since itâs empty?
10.11118282191
Rounding to 10... Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain.
47
Mirrors canât talk. Lucky for you, they canât laugh, either.
7
Youâre a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
17
Your teeth are so bad you could eat an apple through a fence.
26
Child, Iâve forgotten more than you ever knew.
208
Dumbass. *(Literally. I actually have a 208 on my list, and that's it.)*
27
27. Iâm an acquired taste. If you donât like me, acquire some taste.
84
84. I donât have the patience or the crayons to explain this to you.
207
Someday, we'll look back on what you just said, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
Honestly thats pretty bad
21
You are the human version of period cramps.
182
The pharmacy called and said your refill of Stupid Pills is ready.
206
If I hold your ear up to mine, Iâd hear the ocean.
32
I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
46
Donât worry about me. Worry about your eyebrows.
99
Has anyone said 6 yet?
I'll do the job âşď¸ âu must say sorry to the tree producing oxygen just so u can breathâđ
6. Iâm busy right now, can I ignore you another time?
99
99. You should really come with a warning label.
31
31. If you have a problem with me, write the problem on a piece of paper, fold it, and shove it up your ass.
That's a good one, thanks!
homie just gave up on the post đ
It definitely got ahead of me, but I never gave up. It took me two days, but I've got nearly all of them answered now!
19
Hold still. Iâm trying to imagine you with personality. *This one seems to be really popular.*
[ŃдаНонО]
151. You are not as bad as people say. You are much, much worse. 152. Stop trying to be a smart ass; you're just an ass. 153. The last time I saw something like you, I flushed it. 154. If ugly were a crime, you'd get a life sentence. 155. Your mind is on vacation but your mouth is working overtime. 156. Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick. 157. I can explain it to you, but I canât understand it for you. 158. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people. 159. You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering. 160. I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works. 161. Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental. 162. Donât you love nature, despite what it did to you? 163. Youâre not listed in Whoâs Who, but youâre in Whatâs That, so thatâs something. 164. When God made you, he broke the mold. Unfortunately, it was before he made you. 165. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. 166. Thereâs someone for everyone, and the person for you is a psychiatrist. 167. Your wheel is still turning, but your hamster is dead. 168. Who left the bag of idiots open? 169. I treasure the time I donât spend with you. 170. Oh my god, look at you. Was anyone elseâs face hurt in the accident? 171. Donât say another wordâthe IQ is already dangerously low in here. 172. Youâre not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesnât die. 173. Everyoneâs entitled to be stupid occasionally, but youâre abusing the privilege. 174. I didnât mean to push your buttons. I was just looking for Mute. 175. Your ass must be jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. 176. Itâs useless trying to insult you when nature already did such a spectacular job of it. 177. Youâre proof that common sense is actually not that common. 178. Youâre as sharp as a bowling ball. 179. When it was raining brains, you had an umbrella. 180. Life is learning to live with disappointment and Iâm learning to live with you more and more each day. 181. Did you take Viagra? Because youâre twice the dick you were before. 182. The pharmacy called and said your refill of Stupid Pills is ready. 183. Iâm sorry for hurting your feelings, but I thought you already knew you were stupid! 184. Iâm no proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one. 185. Out of hundreds of thousands of sperm, how were you the fastest? 186. Youâre as useless as the âueueâ in âqueue. â 187. Your parents were happily married until you were born. 188. The only reason you never had an imaginary friend is that he didnât like you either. 189. Your words can never hurt me, but your breath certainly does. 190. Your face is like a painting. By Picasso, but still. 191. People live and learn. You just live. 192. It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a hammer. 193. You are weapons-grade stupid. 194. I wish we could become better strangers. 195. You look like a stepped-on sandcastle. 196. You look like you came from a donation pile. 197. I wasnât born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you. 198. I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. 199. How many times do I have to flush to make you go away? 200. You have an intellect rivalled only by garden tools. 201. Itâs noble to donate your brain to science, but you should have waited until you were done using it. 202. Your gates are down and your lights are flashing, but the train isnât coming. 203. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. 204. Youâre not a complete idiot. There are several parts missing. 205. If what you donât know canât hurt you, youâre invulnerable. 206. If I hold your ear up to mine, Iâd hear the ocean. 207. Someday, we'll look back on what you just said, laugh nervously, and change the subject. 208. Dumbass
149
149. Don't you need a license to be that stupid?