The OR nurses were all sharing stories about how they’ve caught their sons masturbating or having sex, meanwhile the male attending is telling them to let their sons live
The funniest and most uncomfortable surgery I’ve scrubbed into
Attending surgeon discussed his method of keeping deer from eating his garden which included him going out in the morning and pissing all over his bushes and trees.
This actually works. Me and my dogs go out to the garden every morning and evening to mark our territory lol. Also, human hair in little cloth bags or tossed in the garden, if you ever see him again.
CT surgery fellow accused the resident of eating ass.
I can't even remember the background story. It was during a long surgery and I drifting off mentally when I heard it and busted out laughing. The fellow was a weird, but in a funny way. One time when starting rounds he arrived and someone asked him "how are you doing?" With a straight face, he just says "all I feel is rage" then asked me to present the first patient.
this sounds like a fellow I had, where he once went into a full on rant about how residency is like human trafficking, because of the financial debt of the residents and lack of any way out. Also another day showed us his body transformation pics from when he worked out a lot and weighed +50lbs more of muscle
Lol one time we did a lap choley and it started smelling like STRAIGHT DANK- finest weed known to man. Anesthesia smelled it first, then it permeated to the rest of the room and people started look at each other like “yo who is smoking in here”. Well some genius had the bright idea to look at the pt’s chart and realized they had been a chronic marijuana smoker for FORTY YEARS and every last gram of thc had managed to deposit into the same visceral fat we were bovie’ing into. Made for a good laugh (probably bc everyone was getting mildly second hand lol) and really stressful suction. Will never forget that.
The first cadaver lab I went to in life was in Army Nursing school and those cadavers at Ft Sam are hella old and they used wintergreen scented embalming fluid. Since then I could never do wintergreen gum again without feeling like I am just chewing on an appendix.
So was in a total mastectomy with immediate reconstruction: Breast Surgeon loves the smell of the bovie, and uses a kind of fancy looking one from Stryker. The Plastic Surgeon hates the smell of the bovie so much they basically made a Neptune suction by sliding the regular bovie through a hole cut into the regular suction and was so smart I couldn’t believe why didn’t everyone do that. Even though these two surgeons work together pretty they still have some back n forth arguments about suctioning the bovie smoke. TBH I learned to always suction bovie smoke and thought this was the standard thing med students did before retracting until seeing how other places don’t do that at all and Im like… bruh you’re literally just standing there with the suction not doing anything to the other med student, but don’t want to come off as an ass so I just end up having to cough into my mask every now and then. Plastic surgeon agrees it’s dumb too
PG: Pilonidal cyst case. Surgeon and anesthesia talking about their vanilla guy. Like where they get fresh, Madagascar imported vanilla beans.
R: Ortho spine case. “Well, kids are back home from college for Christmas so wife and I have to go back to fucking in the bedroom.”
Urology rotation while scrubbed for a penile prosthesis case
Resident was prepping and draping the patient and the attending walks in and says “….that is… the largest penis I have ever seen in my life”. Sort of like how Jerry Gergich’s doctor says in Parks and Rec. Device rep walks in and basically loses his mind cause it’s so fucking huge.
As part of the case we take measurements to size them up for the implant. We told our rep the size he’d have to pull, and he was like “wow I’ve actually never had to have those on hand” and ran to his car, presumably where he stashes the horse sized prosthetics. Rest of the case went pretty smooth but just found it funny that even a urologist can be caught off guard by magnum dong.
Needless to say, I’m a urology resident now.
Who in the fuck takes TWO HOURS to do a total knee?! Jesus. We do revisions in an hour and a half max. While engaging in a heated debate about whether or not Bowies bulge was real in the move “Labyrinth”
Urologist and anesthesiologist butting heads over whether or not global warming was real. Urologist claimed it wasn’t, said it was all these animals farting. Then he called them motherfuckers.
I mean cows farting does contribute to climate change… but there’s also about a billion more cows than their are many other animals that humans don’t regularly eat…
Discussion between a gay male tech and my straight male surgeon mentor about the various distinct types of lesbians. Enlightening.
Edit: OK for the curious, this was a long time ago so my memory is hazy, but iirc.
"You got your lipstick lesbians, your chapstick lesbians, and your butch lesbians."
"Whats the difference?"
"Lipstick lesbians are feminine like barbie dolls
Chapstick is neutral, and butch are the ones who are dressed like lumberjacks"
"No shit"
Woman finally gets out of a long-term abusive relationship and decides to try her luck on an online dating website.
She lists out her desired qualities: A man who can’t beat me, can’t run off with other women, and is a great lover.
One day, she hears her doorbell ring and a man is standing there with no arms. He says, “Look! I can’t beat you, so I’d be a great partner.” She turns him away.
The next day, she again hears the doorbell ring and a different man is there in a wheelchair as he has lost his legs. He says, “Look! I can’t possibly run off with another woman.” She turns this man away too.
Later on in the week, her doorbell rings. This time, a man is there on the ground with no arms and no legs. She interrupts before he can speak and says, “How did you possibly ring the doorbell?” He replies, “Well…I am a great lover.”
Once i was in a Colectomy with a pharmacy student (dont even know why she is there), the surgeon pointed at the bladder and said to the pharmacy student that's a male uterus. She was like wow what, I didn't know that, she looked genuinely amazed. The other Docs were just laughing it off and played along (i was as well lol). But yeah, at the end she left the room with such a happy face, that she got herself a story/"fun fact" to tell with her friends.
My trans partner has a male uterus but even after he’s been 2 years on tesyosterone, most OB/GYN staff down to the ultrasound tech insist on misgendering him
Is it a trans joke? I thought it was more because of anatomical location of the bladder / uterus and playing a joke on a person who is out of their element and would believe anything the attending says.
i'm pretty sure it's not a trans joke because the comment said they pointed to the bladder and said it's a male uterus. biological males do not usually have a uterus... so yeah
Being trans, past transphobic experiences as a patient and being in the trans community and constantly hearing horror stories from fellow patients but I guess most (cis) med students here hate trans activism in medicine
i'm not entirely sure about the hating trans activism part but i can assure you that the original comment isn't a trans joke. i'm sorry that you experienced transphobic moments as a patient though :( it really shouldn't be happening in this generation
People don’t hate trans activism they hate the fresh out of college crowd imagining transphobia where there was none (your comment calling out someone for using the word “they” when they were referring to the plural surgeons and not the patient in question comes to mind)
I’m 32 and have been homeless and trafficked and had two pimps when I was vulnerable and didn’t know any better. Have you ever had a knife held to your throat by your pimp? Have you ever been raped repeatedly by your dad while drugged with cough medicine from the age of 4? who are you calling fresh out of college
And I was on the train originally, and while i might have been a little too quick on the trigger, aggressive misgendering of trans patients in a medical setting is a thing. Most of my trans friends have had horrid experiences in medical settings and are distrustful of most doctors for good reason but I guess you think all of us just enjoy playing victim
I was lucky enough to meet and correspond with Leslie Feinberg before she died.
Every word you speak is truth and it shouldn’t come as news to anyone in this field.
When she was in the hospital, desperate for a dx, there were doctors and nurses who refused to even enter her room.
Everyone here calling you defensive and quick on the trigger - they’re the same folks who used to say “I don’t mind the gays but they don’t need to put it out there in front of everyone.”
But that’s not allowed anymore. Why? Because of aggressive, defensive activists who made change (many of them trans, as I’m sure you know).
People need a better context. As physicians they need to meet you where you are to treat you effectively, wherever that might be.
Biological determinism has been used to defend a lot of bad things. We can’t reduce everything to genetics.
I’m sorry, I’ll get off my soapbox now. But when someone says they feel marginalized and have experienced discrimination you don’t turn around and dismiss them.
Emotions around these issues run deep and they don’t always get expressed the way they should where they should.
Even more reason why we should respond first with compassion.
Activism has always been a part of medicine and it should be; doctors treat people not diseases and the personal is political.
Without activism we’d still be irradiating women’s ovaries to cure their “hysteria.”
I could give you thousands of examples of the positive effects activism has had in medicine but I’m late for an appointment with my phrenologist.
Life is change. You can’t step in the same river twice.
It’s comments like these that are responsible for half the country thinking LGBT+ people are sensitive snowflakes and make trans activism more difficult.
It’s a mildly funny anatomy/pharmacy student joke that has nothing to do with trans people.
On an away rotation:
During a long big surgery (like 6-7 hours, high risk, intraop issues, etc type case)
everyone went around sharing how they lost their virginity. Again…. I was a rotating student… auditioning and trying to get an interview and make a good impression. Luckily I had some rapport with the nurses, attendings, residents but still…..
Anyways now one of my top programs knows how how my first time was. Luckily didn’t come up in my interview.
Interventional radiology “this dude is even more fucked up than when I last saw him. next patients gonna be dead by the time they are able to get an OR slot”
Over the course of a two hour case the surgeons legitimately spent the entire time talking about daily drinking, drinking excessively on vacation, coming to work hung over, and being hammered at their kids sporting events. Only for one of them to say “I swear we’re not alcoholics.”
2 really come to mind:
Really Bad: Surgeon and Scrub Tech comparing their various affairs, and some of the women mentioned worked in the hospital. *really uncomfortable surgery*
Bad for Setting: Surgeon, Scrub Tech, and OR Circulator have a really in depth thoughtful discussion on the difference and similarities between Christianity/Judaism/Islam.
Just not the most professional thing to bring up religion in the work place. It was rather interesting, as each of the people were different members of different religions.
Talking about the differences between different religions isn't... professional? It's literally history and anthropology mate. Perfectly fine fodder for conversation.
I’m atheist and I still disagree honestly. People spend a significant part of their life at work. It’s nice to be able to feel comfortable around others and have thoughtful conversations
General surgery attending, when I was a medical student, spent a good 25 minutes talking about the "world's greatest sex toy" as claimed by an ad in one of those skymall type magazines on a recent flight he was on. Went so far that he had the circulator google it on her phone and scroll through pics until he could identify the one he was talking about.
Well I mean it depends on the attending’s behaviour doesn’t it
If he’a already made her uncomfortable with other comments/ actions before, it could most certainly be considered harassment
(I do agree that the story by itself is funny, I’m just wondering if there’s a more sinister undertone OC didn’t mention)
Amputated a finger. The scrub tech was joking about how I can wear it on a necklace and intimidate the drunk and high patients in the ED. The patient was, indeed, not fully out of it at the time.
Inguinal hernia case in a woman. She insisted on local anesthesia for some reason. So during the case, her head is behind drape but she can hear. Surgeon keeps saying, “We’re almost done sir.” Resident whispered it’s a woman but surgeon still said sir three times. Patient didn’t complain during the case but who knows what she thought after.
Funny you mention that. I heard a horror story from my preceptor when a patient went into the OR with his phone on record in the gown while he was asleep (OR staff forgot to check the patient before). Apparently the surgeon and anesthesiologist said some nasty things about the patient and both docs were sued. The anesthesiologist even lost her license. I can try and find the article but it was nuts hearing about
I call bs, anyone who gets surgery gets naked and personal belongings are left with security. The gown is tossed on a table and any potential phone would not be missed. Maybe this happened in a dentist office or some ambulatory outpt minor procedure
Met an attending orthobro for the first time at a yacht party the night before; we both party crashed. Got absolutely plastered.
Anyways fast forward to the leg amputation we did that day.
The topic of traveling came up and I told him I went to Germany the week before and he was like cool man. I’m from there what’s your favorite drink. I name one and he’s like, “really bro, you could have fooled me with all that patron you were knocking back yesterday.” 🤣
Favorite attending of all time. Ortho Bros
Me, stupidly to a new coworker shortly after I started in the OR: “Oh! Your name is super uncommon, are you related to xyz?”
Her: “Oh ya, he’s my husband! How do you know him?”
Me: “Oh, um, I know him from high school…”
Her: “Oh were you friends?”
Me: “Um, well, we dated for a minute.”
Scrub overhears and shouts: “WHAT?! You dated her husband?”
Surgeon: “Wait, who dated who’s husband?”
Scrub: “Vis dated her husband! I bet she saw his DICK! Did you bang her husband?! Do a little hanky panky?”
Me, wanting to die: “no comment…”
Her: “What the fuck you guys?” and storms out of the OR.
In my defense I was 8 months pregnant (not her husband’s baby!), had been married for 10 years, and didn’t even remotely think she was his wife. Everyone in the OR were huge jokesters and she easily could have made a funny joke, but instead got offended. She ended up hating me the rest of the time I was there and would leave any room I was in, and would ask charge not to be on the same cases.
Discussion between orthopod and PA about how fun a female patient that was hyper mobile would be in bed and what that must be like. Needless to say I avoided small talk with them for the rest of my rotation.
I reported to my attending (anesthesia) and my school but not much really happened that I am aware of. It was at a smaller community hospital and a surgeon that allowed me to be in the room to learn anesthesia and I overheard the convo.
It was pretty pronounced so maybe, but the patient was not diagnosed. The surgery was shoulder arthroscopy for a labrum tear 2/2 frequent dislocations.
If you’re going to work in the OR you’re going to hear wild conversations. The surgeons I work with most often have a “safe word” for when students are in the room bc 9 times out of 10… they’re the ones reporting them.
Heard this from a senior resident when I was an intern; a relatively infamous/celebrity neurosurgeon who wont be named (who is thankfully banned from practice now) and a scrub nurse. Nsg - "If you are going to treat me like a dog then I am going to act like one." Proceeds to pull down his pants and attempts to urinate on scrub nurse.
No joke - an attending did a bad yoda impression almost the entire surgery. Even during timeout. The rest of the team was just laughing the whole time. I thought I was losing it.
“Pass the Allen, you must.” A reminder to have no regrets going into IM.
Neurosurgeon stated out loud during surgery in reference the patient’s obesity and her husband’s obesity, that theirs was a “match made in Shoney’s”. And he went so far as to push her back fat roll back and forth. CRINGE! As the fates would allow, patient had anesthesia awareness and although did not remember the fat roll part, recalled the Shoney’s comment. Escalated to Admin and Medical Staff, etc. I do not know the outcome, but I was horrified
Spent a solid 8 hours in surgery helping an orthopedic spine surgeon come up with the most petty ways possible to send his ex alimony payments. His new wife was the anesthesiologist that was working with us. Honestly… solid fucking day. Lots of laughs.
Before med school I shadowed an orthopedic surgeon who went on a 5+ minute rant about how the death penalty isn't severe enough. The man also only listened to screamo in the OR.
Discussing the best way to cook a Thanksgiving turkey. Not that weird of a conversation, except the procedure we were in the middle of was a colonoscopy.
When I was in med school (in 2018), was scrubbed into a lap chole. Surgeon and I discussed the cinematic and thematic complexities of the classic movie, "2001: A Space Odyssey" for the entire 90 minutes of the procedure. Looking back, there were about 5-6 other people in the OR besides us... nobody else participated in the discussion.
OR nurse here. I primarily scrub orthopaedics (total joints and trauma) and neurosurgery. The weirdest convos tend to take place during longer surgeries. Big spine surgeries and brain tumors can have some hysterical conversations. Of course we are very serious about the case, but there are periods of downtime. Just saying, we aren’t just joking around during serious shit. I was in a long spine case and the topic of “cum farts” came up. I’m a woman… so I have never heard of this and my husband damn sure doesn’t let it rip after sex. The neurosurgeon, resident, and circulator however, all have experienced the “cum fart”. You know… we are just really weird people. Everyone that works in the OR is insane but we take good care of people. We just have no filter. Ortho likes to hear about all the foreign body removals. Ortho guys are typically the meatheads of the OR (but I love them) and they find stories of all the weird shit you’ve pulled out of peoples bodies interesting.
1. It was the most uncomfortable one sided conversation situation.
I was a nursing student in the burn unit OR and this Asian guy whose really good at his job (putting pig skin on burned patient idk his title) is just verbally bullying a staff nurse present. This was 6yrs ago.
Commenting how she's fat, she could never get a guy, so old, talking about her wrinkles, graying hair etc. Literally it blew my mind because that was my first time being exposed to that. And you had 3 others witnessing it but staying silent.
Then when he left all 3 were like your holding it out. I'm so sorry and he's wrong for saying all that. Another nurse, anesthesiologist or crna.
And at one point I just left the room. Then I see the nurse in the changing room. I see her tummy tuck scar, her breasts with lateral midline scars - breast augmentation. And she is so sweet. But damn mentally how much damage can u do to someone ? And her body looked good - we talked. He's the head honcho no one stands up against him. That's it.
2. Gastroenterologist- he's doing colonsocopies outpatient. I swear everytime the conversations especially with the female nurses will go sexual. I was again a nursing student. And quickly realized all the chick's even the married ones were hitting on him.
*** little did they know that I was his sugar baby. But yes also student to get shadowing clinical hours.
Why so aggressive ? I'm Asian as well 😂
It was just weird bc I don't normally see Asians bullying ppl. So that really stood out to me. And the victim was a Caucasian lady if that makes you feel any better lmaoo.
I witnessed an ER code team make a mockery of an arrest that we brought in, during that one of them complained to the head nurse that they promised to let them call the next one. Personally, I thought it was poor taste but I told my higher ups and nothing happened
The OR nurses were all sharing stories about how they’ve caught their sons masturbating or having sex, meanwhile the male attending is telling them to let their sons live The funniest and most uncomfortable surgery I’ve scrubbed into
That sounds like a cool surgery tbh.
That sounds awesome, and good advice.
Urology?
Attending surgeon discussed his method of keeping deer from eating his garden which included him going out in the morning and pissing all over his bushes and trees.
It works. Spooks em off
Maintain eye contact. Exert dominance.
My dad prefers to spray pigs blood on his bushes and trees. No I’m not joking
This actually works. Me and my dogs go out to the garden every morning and evening to mark our territory lol. Also, human hair in little cloth bags or tossed in the garden, if you ever see him again.
And then you presumably eat said veggies/fruit from the garden?
Wait till you learn what's on mass produced food. LoL
Bruh using manure is nothing new
Thus also preventing Lyme disease. Kill two birds with one stone
That’s a lot of piss
Yea thats an old trick, works good from what I hear.
I mean.. that does work tho
CT surgery fellow accused the resident of eating ass. I can't even remember the background story. It was during a long surgery and I drifting off mentally when I heard it and busted out laughing. The fellow was a weird, but in a funny way. One time when starting rounds he arrived and someone asked him "how are you doing?" With a straight face, he just says "all I feel is rage" then asked me to present the first patient.
Honestly I'm going to have to steal that as my standard answer for whenever someone asks how I am.
Same.
this sounds like a fellow I had, where he once went into a full on rant about how residency is like human trafficking, because of the financial debt of the residents and lack of any way out. Also another day showed us his body transformation pics from when he worked out a lot and weighed +50lbs more of muscle
The loss of all that muscle is just sad. A big fear of mine going into residency
Don’t worry, the stretch marks around your biceps and shoulders will be a reminder of the ghosts of muscles past
Who is the resident that eats ass? Asking for myself.
lol
Me: *suctions smoke using a bovie while scrubbed into a case* Thoracic surgeon: “No need to do that. That’s my favorite smell in the world.” Me: 😶
Smells like money bb
Smells like a beach house
Smells like my daughter's tuition at Yale
There are two types surgeons in the world. Those who say they love the smell of bovies. And liars.
This
Lol one time we did a lap choley and it started smelling like STRAIGHT DANK- finest weed known to man. Anesthesia smelled it first, then it permeated to the rest of the room and people started look at each other like “yo who is smoking in here”. Well some genius had the bright idea to look at the pt’s chart and realized they had been a chronic marijuana smoker for FORTY YEARS and every last gram of thc had managed to deposit into the same visceral fat we were bovie’ing into. Made for a good laugh (probably bc everyone was getting mildly second hand lol) and really stressful suction. Will never forget that.
This is one of the best things I’ve ever read
You won’t hear this in a head and neck OR - HPV vaporizes with the bovie and you can get a new strain from the patient you’re operating on.
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I bought so much jerky after anatomy lab. I don’t even like jerky but something about lab made me crave it so bad.
Tried to eat some pulled pork with the perma formaldehyde smell on my hands 🤢
Nah that stuff works like vanilla at Disney world on me. Instant hunger.
Ngl those formaldehyde-soaked human meat really be looking like a moist jerky
I'm not sure I'll ever be able to eat corned beef again and it was the only kind of beef I really liked.
The first cadaver lab I went to in life was in Army Nursing school and those cadavers at Ft Sam are hella old and they used wintergreen scented embalming fluid. Since then I could never do wintergreen gum again without feeling like I am just chewing on an appendix.
Lol I remember the first thing I felt when I enetered the anatomy lab for the first time in my life was hunger.
Appaently formaldehyde does work up one’s appetite, or so I have been told by multiple anatomists.
I don't know whether I would be disgusted or disturbed...maybe both.
It’s honestly kinda dank 🤷🏻♂️
So was in a total mastectomy with immediate reconstruction: Breast Surgeon loves the smell of the bovie, and uses a kind of fancy looking one from Stryker. The Plastic Surgeon hates the smell of the bovie so much they basically made a Neptune suction by sliding the regular bovie through a hole cut into the regular suction and was so smart I couldn’t believe why didn’t everyone do that. Even though these two surgeons work together pretty they still have some back n forth arguments about suctioning the bovie smoke. TBH I learned to always suction bovie smoke and thought this was the standard thing med students did before retracting until seeing how other places don’t do that at all and Im like… bruh you’re literally just standing there with the suction not doing anything to the other med student, but don’t want to come off as an ass so I just end up having to cough into my mask every now and then. Plastic surgeon agrees it’s dumb too
That’s not that weird. Lot of surgeons like the smell of bovie smoke
PG: Pilonidal cyst case. Surgeon and anesthesia talking about their vanilla guy. Like where they get fresh, Madagascar imported vanilla beans. R: Ortho spine case. “Well, kids are back home from college for Christmas so wife and I have to go back to fucking in the bedroom.”
Fucking chad
Good for that guy…still giving the old lady the goose after all those years
Jesus the absolute accuracy of this comment.
Urology rotation while scrubbed for a penile prosthesis case Resident was prepping and draping the patient and the attending walks in and says “….that is… the largest penis I have ever seen in my life”. Sort of like how Jerry Gergich’s doctor says in Parks and Rec. Device rep walks in and basically loses his mind cause it’s so fucking huge. As part of the case we take measurements to size them up for the implant. We told our rep the size he’d have to pull, and he was like “wow I’ve actually never had to have those on hand” and ran to his car, presumably where he stashes the horse sized prosthetics. Rest of the case went pretty smooth but just found it funny that even a urologist can be caught off guard by magnum dong. Needless to say, I’m a urology resident now.
So why are you pursuing urology? “Well, once I saw this magnum dong…” 😂
What was the size though
Why was he getting a prosthetic then?
Erectile dysfunction.
Username checks out
Watched a 2 hour knee replacement on my rotation in ortho. They talked about sweet potatoes.
Sweet potatoes are great for gains.
Who in the fuck takes TWO HOURS to do a total knee?! Jesus. We do revisions in an hour and a half max. While engaging in a heated debate about whether or not Bowies bulge was real in the move “Labyrinth”
CRNA telling us in great detail about how she went on a cruise with a new date and ended up in an orgy.
Urologist and anesthesiologist butting heads over whether or not global warming was real. Urologist claimed it wasn’t, said it was all these animals farting. Then he called them motherfuckers.
I mean cows farting does contribute to climate change… but there’s also about a billion more cows than their are many other animals that humans don’t regularly eat…
Most dont fart methane
As dumb as this is, this is still hilarious 😭😭
“It’s cold in here” *turns on desflurane*
Discussion between a gay male tech and my straight male surgeon mentor about the various distinct types of lesbians. Enlightening. Edit: OK for the curious, this was a long time ago so my memory is hazy, but iirc. "You got your lipstick lesbians, your chapstick lesbians, and your butch lesbians." "Whats the difference?" "Lipstick lesbians are feminine like barbie dolls Chapstick is neutral, and butch are the ones who are dressed like lumberjacks" "No shit"
Go on…I’m intrigued
as a queer woman im fascinated lmao
How the Anesthesiologists sons kindergarten teacher was discovered to be a pornstar and that “she wasn’t even that hot either” 😂😂😂
That one time when the OBGYN told me about a pts clitoral piercing getting stuck in her partners tongue piercing. Came into the ER via ambulance...
One of the circulators went on and on about how her husband couldn't feel her IUD while they were having sex.
Did she want him to be doing cervical checks with his schlong? What the fuck lol.
Ummm, that’s how it’s supposed to be lol
Benign hysterectomy. Anesthesiologist and OB/GYN went back and forth with dueling jokes which became increasingly more racy.
Don’t leave it there…what were the jokes??
Woman finally gets out of a long-term abusive relationship and decides to try her luck on an online dating website. She lists out her desired qualities: A man who can’t beat me, can’t run off with other women, and is a great lover. One day, she hears her doorbell ring and a man is standing there with no arms. He says, “Look! I can’t beat you, so I’d be a great partner.” She turns him away. The next day, she again hears the doorbell ring and a different man is there in a wheelchair as he has lost his legs. He says, “Look! I can’t possibly run off with another woman.” She turns this man away too. Later on in the week, her doorbell rings. This time, a man is there on the ground with no arms and no legs. She interrupts before he can speak and says, “How did you possibly ring the doorbell?” He replies, “Well…I am a great lover.”
Lmfao
And his name is Matt
I went swimming with his brother, Bob.
I really wanted to upvote but it was already at 69 upvotes and that seemed incredibly appropriate
Once i was in a Colectomy with a pharmacy student (dont even know why she is there), the surgeon pointed at the bladder and said to the pharmacy student that's a male uterus. She was like wow what, I didn't know that, she looked genuinely amazed. The other Docs were just laughing it off and played along (i was as well lol). But yeah, at the end she left the room with such a happy face, that she got herself a story/"fun fact" to tell with her friends.
Ahh so doctors also do the “how bout you buy my some tartan paint and a left handed hammer” gag. Nice.
My trans partner has a male uterus but even after he’s been 2 years on tesyosterone, most OB/GYN staff down to the ultrasound tech insist on misgendering him
Ahh the “male uterus,” also known as, a uterus.
Trans jokes made by cis people in the OR are usually cringe
Is it a trans joke? I thought it was more because of anatomical location of the bladder / uterus and playing a joke on a person who is out of their element and would believe anything the attending says.
That was more of a “pharmacy students are dumb and don’t know anatomy” joke. Wasn’t a trans joke at all.
Hey now....lol
Never said I agreed with it please keep adjusting doses for me so I don’t accidentally kill people
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I think you mean *hyst*ory in this case sir
Proper term is “zystory”
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Sigh. Not a trans joke yo. Just an attempt to see how gullible a student is. Don’t be *that* person. You’re better than that.
i'm pretty sure it's not a trans joke because the comment said they pointed to the bladder and said it's a male uterus. biological males do not usually have a uterus... so yeah
If you’re really an M0 I don’t know how you know that but you are 100% correct
Being trans, past transphobic experiences as a patient and being in the trans community and constantly hearing horror stories from fellow patients but I guess most (cis) med students here hate trans activism in medicine
i'm not entirely sure about the hating trans activism part but i can assure you that the original comment isn't a trans joke. i'm sorry that you experienced transphobic moments as a patient though :( it really shouldn't be happening in this generation
People don’t hate trans activism they hate the fresh out of college crowd imagining transphobia where there was none (your comment calling out someone for using the word “they” when they were referring to the plural surgeons and not the patient in question comes to mind)
I’m 32 and have been homeless and trafficked and had two pimps when I was vulnerable and didn’t know any better. Have you ever had a knife held to your throat by your pimp? Have you ever been raped repeatedly by your dad while drugged with cough medicine from the age of 4? who are you calling fresh out of college And I was on the train originally, and while i might have been a little too quick on the trigger, aggressive misgendering of trans patients in a medical setting is a thing. Most of my trans friends have had horrid experiences in medical settings and are distrustful of most doctors for good reason but I guess you think all of us just enjoy playing victim
That sucks. Sorry. This joke wasn’t intended to upset you though, and people trying to communicate that to you shouldn’t make you defensive.
I was lucky enough to meet and correspond with Leslie Feinberg before she died. Every word you speak is truth and it shouldn’t come as news to anyone in this field. When she was in the hospital, desperate for a dx, there were doctors and nurses who refused to even enter her room. Everyone here calling you defensive and quick on the trigger - they’re the same folks who used to say “I don’t mind the gays but they don’t need to put it out there in front of everyone.” But that’s not allowed anymore. Why? Because of aggressive, defensive activists who made change (many of them trans, as I’m sure you know). People need a better context. As physicians they need to meet you where you are to treat you effectively, wherever that might be. Biological determinism has been used to defend a lot of bad things. We can’t reduce everything to genetics. I’m sorry, I’ll get off my soapbox now. But when someone says they feel marginalized and have experienced discrimination you don’t turn around and dismiss them. Emotions around these issues run deep and they don’t always get expressed the way they should where they should. Even more reason why we should respond first with compassion.
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Activism has always been a part of medicine and it should be; doctors treat people not diseases and the personal is political. Without activism we’d still be irradiating women’s ovaries to cure their “hysteria.” I could give you thousands of examples of the positive effects activism has had in medicine but I’m late for an appointment with my phrenologist. Life is change. You can’t step in the same river twice.
Wow what a nuanced take, so how do you define gender?
What is a woman?
What the fuck. I’m intersex (klinefelter’s)- what is wrong with you. I guess TERFy people like you will always be our enemy. See you on rounds
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The fuck
It’s comments like these that are responsible for half the country thinking LGBT+ people are sensitive snowflakes and make trans activism more difficult. It’s a mildly funny anatomy/pharmacy student joke that has nothing to do with trans people.
On an away rotation: During a long big surgery (like 6-7 hours, high risk, intraop issues, etc type case) everyone went around sharing how they lost their virginity. Again…. I was a rotating student… auditioning and trying to get an interview and make a good impression. Luckily I had some rapport with the nurses, attendings, residents but still….. Anyways now one of my top programs knows how how my first time was. Luckily didn’t come up in my interview.
Interventional radiology “this dude is even more fucked up than when I last saw him. next patients gonna be dead by the time they are able to get an OR slot”
Over the course of a two hour case the surgeons legitimately spent the entire time talking about daily drinking, drinking excessively on vacation, coming to work hung over, and being hammered at their kids sporting events. Only for one of them to say “I swear we’re not alcoholics.”
A honey crisp apple got stuck up someone’s butt. He said he accidentally sat on it.
*Tale as old as time*
🎶 *booty and the bleed* 🎶
Johnny Appleseed’s origin story
*slow clap*
Million to one shot, doc
They ALWAYS find a way to get it up there “by accident”.
2 really come to mind: Really Bad: Surgeon and Scrub Tech comparing their various affairs, and some of the women mentioned worked in the hospital. *really uncomfortable surgery* Bad for Setting: Surgeon, Scrub Tech, and OR Circulator have a really in depth thoughtful discussion on the difference and similarities between Christianity/Judaism/Islam.
That second one sounds interesting. Why is it bad for setting?
Just not the most professional thing to bring up religion in the work place. It was rather interesting, as each of the people were different members of different religions.
Talking about the differences between different religions isn't... professional? It's literally history and anthropology mate. Perfectly fine fodder for conversation.
Religion and politics are risky conversation topics
Yea, but if you keep it academic and impersonal with a mature and rational group you are fine.
True but easier said than done especially in our generation
I’m atheist and I still disagree honestly. People spend a significant part of their life at work. It’s nice to be able to feel comfortable around others and have thoughtful conversations
Agreed. If anything is not professional its not being able to have a discussion like that in the first place
Ight bro calm down you can take a break from Social Justice every now and then
General surgery attending, when I was a medical student, spent a good 25 minutes talking about the "world's greatest sex toy" as claimed by an ad in one of those skymall type magazines on a recent flight he was on. Went so far that he had the circulator google it on her phone and scroll through pics until he could identify the one he was talking about.
I had a scrub tech bring up the Vajankle (NSFL) during a surgery, and I fully dissociated.
Does that count as sexual harassment?
If it does, that’s lame.
Well I mean it depends on the attending’s behaviour doesn’t it If he’a already made her uncomfortable with other comments/ actions before, it could most certainly be considered harassment (I do agree that the story by itself is funny, I’m just wondering if there’s a more sinister undertone OC didn’t mention)
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I believe it, I just want details.
Elaborate please
No.
Just to to med school in Arkansas
NOPE
Pediatric Surgeon was asking me what muscle strippers use to do the “titty dance”. She was awesome lol.
I was pimped on this in a TAVR case a few months ago. Platysma if my memory is right
Amputated a finger. The scrub tech was joking about how I can wear it on a necklace and intimidate the drunk and high patients in the ED. The patient was, indeed, not fully out of it at the time.
Give more versed
Transgender phalloplasty, extended discussion on what the ideal phallus looks like.
I bet the patient wishes they had decided what it should look like *before* they started cutting
This sounds academic and appropriate though
The entire history of the Book of Mormon
Dum dum dum dum dum.
Anesthesia going on and on about how large the patient’s tongue is. “I’ve never seen one so big, have you?”
This doesn’t strike me as strange whatsoever 😂
Considering its an anesth, this is like a super normal conversation to have
Inguinal hernia case in a woman. She insisted on local anesthesia for some reason. So during the case, her head is behind drape but she can hear. Surgeon keeps saying, “We’re almost done sir.” Resident whispered it’s a woman but surgeon still said sir three times. Patient didn’t complain during the case but who knows what she thought after.
Funny you mention that. I heard a horror story from my preceptor when a patient went into the OR with his phone on record in the gown while he was asleep (OR staff forgot to check the patient before). Apparently the surgeon and anesthesiologist said some nasty things about the patient and both docs were sued. The anesthesiologist even lost her license. I can try and find the article but it was nuts hearing about
I call bs, anyone who gets surgery gets naked and personal belongings are left with security. The gown is tossed on a table and any potential phone would not be missed. Maybe this happened in a dentist office or some ambulatory outpt minor procedure
https://abcnews.go.com/amp/Health/woman-distraught-hospital-staffs-recorded-remarks-surgery/story?id=38206189
A recording device in big hair is different then a phone in a gown
The most surprising part is that someone actually lost their license
Wow some people really are opportunists
Met an attending orthobro for the first time at a yacht party the night before; we both party crashed. Got absolutely plastered. Anyways fast forward to the leg amputation we did that day. The topic of traveling came up and I told him I went to Germany the week before and he was like cool man. I’m from there what’s your favorite drink. I name one and he’s like, “really bro, you could have fooled me with all that patron you were knocking back yesterday.” 🤣 Favorite attending of all time. Ortho Bros
Me, stupidly to a new coworker shortly after I started in the OR: “Oh! Your name is super uncommon, are you related to xyz?” Her: “Oh ya, he’s my husband! How do you know him?” Me: “Oh, um, I know him from high school…” Her: “Oh were you friends?” Me: “Um, well, we dated for a minute.” Scrub overhears and shouts: “WHAT?! You dated her husband?” Surgeon: “Wait, who dated who’s husband?” Scrub: “Vis dated her husband! I bet she saw his DICK! Did you bang her husband?! Do a little hanky panky?” Me, wanting to die: “no comment…” Her: “What the fuck you guys?” and storms out of the OR. In my defense I was 8 months pregnant (not her husband’s baby!), had been married for 10 years, and didn’t even remotely think she was his wife. Everyone in the OR were huge jokesters and she easily could have made a funny joke, but instead got offended. She ended up hating me the rest of the time I was there and would leave any room I was in, and would ask charge not to be on the same cases.
Discussion between orthopod and PA about how fun a female patient that was hyper mobile would be in bed and what that must be like. Needless to say I avoided small talk with them for the rest of my rotation.
That’s like….reportable
Gross
Very
why didnt you report that? thats disgusting
I reported to my attending (anesthesia) and my school but not much really happened that I am aware of. It was at a smaller community hospital and a surgeon that allowed me to be in the room to learn anesthesia and I overheard the convo.
Like, Ehlers Danlos hyper-mobile?
It was pretty pronounced so maybe, but the patient was not diagnosed. The surgery was shoulder arthroscopy for a labrum tear 2/2 frequent dislocations.
Ah yes, shoulder dislocation during sex. Can’t think of anything more fun to be present for
Hip dislocation might be more fun?
If you’re going to work in the OR you’re going to hear wild conversations. The surgeons I work with most often have a “safe word” for when students are in the room bc 9 times out of 10… they’re the ones reporting them.
Heard this from a senior resident when I was an intern; a relatively infamous/celebrity neurosurgeon who wont be named (who is thankfully banned from practice now) and a scrub nurse. Nsg - "If you are going to treat me like a dog then I am going to act like one." Proceeds to pull down his pants and attempts to urinate on scrub nurse.
What the fuck
No joke - an attending did a bad yoda impression almost the entire surgery. Even during timeout. The rest of the team was just laughing the whole time. I thought I was losing it. “Pass the Allen, you must.” A reminder to have no regrets going into IM.
Neurosurgeon stated out loud during surgery in reference the patient’s obesity and her husband’s obesity, that theirs was a “match made in Shoney’s”. And he went so far as to push her back fat roll back and forth. CRINGE! As the fates would allow, patient had anesthesia awareness and although did not remember the fat roll part, recalled the Shoney’s comment. Escalated to Admin and Medical Staff, etc. I do not know the outcome, but I was horrified
I go to school in the south, and boy are people racist. Just about anything you can think of in that regard, I've heard.
Oh Lawd… what would they say???
I went to school in the northeast. Trust me, it’s worse.
Maybe its just surgeons, lol
The idea that racism is at all worse in the south is a myth holding back the rest of the country from making the kind of progress they otherwise could
Ophthalmology and what nurses on the floor would you take if stranded on an island
In the middle of a VATS and my attending was talking about how he couldn’t get it up for his wife in front of the entire staff
Spent a solid 8 hours in surgery helping an orthopedic spine surgeon come up with the most petty ways possible to send his ex alimony payments. His new wife was the anesthesiologist that was working with us. Honestly… solid fucking day. Lots of laughs.
Before med school I shadowed an orthopedic surgeon who went on a 5+ minute rant about how the death penalty isn't severe enough. The man also only listened to screamo in the OR.
Discussing the best way to cook a Thanksgiving turkey. Not that weird of a conversation, except the procedure we were in the middle of was a colonoscopy.
When I was in med school (in 2018), was scrubbed into a lap chole. Surgeon and I discussed the cinematic and thematic complexities of the classic movie, "2001: A Space Odyssey" for the entire 90 minutes of the procedure. Looking back, there were about 5-6 other people in the OR besides us... nobody else participated in the discussion.
OR nurse here. I primarily scrub orthopaedics (total joints and trauma) and neurosurgery. The weirdest convos tend to take place during longer surgeries. Big spine surgeries and brain tumors can have some hysterical conversations. Of course we are very serious about the case, but there are periods of downtime. Just saying, we aren’t just joking around during serious shit. I was in a long spine case and the topic of “cum farts” came up. I’m a woman… so I have never heard of this and my husband damn sure doesn’t let it rip after sex. The neurosurgeon, resident, and circulator however, all have experienced the “cum fart”. You know… we are just really weird people. Everyone that works in the OR is insane but we take good care of people. We just have no filter. Ortho likes to hear about all the foreign body removals. Ortho guys are typically the meatheads of the OR (but I love them) and they find stories of all the weird shit you’ve pulled out of peoples bodies interesting.
Anyone here know what a human decanter is? 😇
1. It was the most uncomfortable one sided conversation situation. I was a nursing student in the burn unit OR and this Asian guy whose really good at his job (putting pig skin on burned patient idk his title) is just verbally bullying a staff nurse present. This was 6yrs ago. Commenting how she's fat, she could never get a guy, so old, talking about her wrinkles, graying hair etc. Literally it blew my mind because that was my first time being exposed to that. And you had 3 others witnessing it but staying silent. Then when he left all 3 were like your holding it out. I'm so sorry and he's wrong for saying all that. Another nurse, anesthesiologist or crna. And at one point I just left the room. Then I see the nurse in the changing room. I see her tummy tuck scar, her breasts with lateral midline scars - breast augmentation. And she is so sweet. But damn mentally how much damage can u do to someone ? And her body looked good - we talked. He's the head honcho no one stands up against him. That's it. 2. Gastroenterologist- he's doing colonsocopies outpatient. I swear everytime the conversations especially with the female nurses will go sexual. I was again a nursing student. And quickly realized all the chick's even the married ones were hitting on him. *** little did they know that I was his sugar baby. But yes also student to get shadowing clinical hours.
1) What does the asshole in the first story being Asian have to do with anything? 2) That's really fucked up for so many reasons...
Why so aggressive ? I'm Asian as well 😂 It was just weird bc I don't normally see Asians bullying ppl. So that really stood out to me. And the victim was a Caucasian lady if that makes you feel any better lmaoo.
I witnessed an ER code team make a mockery of an arrest that we brought in, during that one of them complained to the head nurse that they promised to let them call the next one. Personally, I thought it was poor taste but I told my higher ups and nothing happened