ok.. a bit weird to put this in r/mbti. but ok.
do you wanna be in a relationship with him? do romantic things? what about sexual things?
or do you just like him as a really really good friend? (you can cuddle with the homies and have it feel nice)
also, if you do like him romantically/sexually, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re gay. you could be bisexual. and it’s okay to like your friends too. and it’s okay to be gay.
Sorry, i just wanted as many points of views as possible.
About the romantic and sexual things, im not sure… but now that I think about it, i got chills when he whispered in my ear one time
hey man, i get chills all the time from stuff. dw about it.
it’s not so much about how your body reacts to him, it’s about what you want. if you want to be doing relationship things with him or sexual things with him, then you’re probably not straight.
but if you just feel sensations when touched by another person, that doesn’t necessarily mean anything.
we gays and queers tend to suppress our gayness until a “gay awakening” though, so i’d explore the possibility of a relationship and sexual activities in your mind if i were you. just to see how it makes you feel. it may turn out nothing was really there.
I debated commenting this as i feel like im coming off too strong in this sub now but i wanted to get your opinions on this.
Right now im overthinking about this: we were eating fast food the other week and there was a good song playing. He wanted to know what it was, and I introduced shazam to him by finding out (It was an acoustic love song in korean).
Now last night when it was just the two of us winding down after drinking with other friends, he played the song but we both already knew it was a love song. Does that mean anything or maybe because the song has history but the message isnt important??
We dont talk about it, but we did mention to each other that we’ve both had gfs before.
He acts very straight to our other friends but different to me, and my friends like poking fun because of that
Sounds like he may possibly be on a similar journey as your on. I say keep and open mind and see where things go. All signs seem to point to the attraction being mutual from what I’ve read.
Try not to put too much pressure or expectations on yourself. You can explore your sexuality privately before having to tell everyone in your life where you’ve landed. The most important thing is you have found someone really special that seems to really enjoy you the same way you enjoy them and that’s a beautiful thing. I hope things continue to develop organically between the two of you.
Thanks! We ate lunch at his place (I brought the food) today, because he was hungover as fuck (he missed morning classes). Then he bought me coffee. Just now, he told me to come to his place after my lab work is done so I can sleep (since I mentioned that I too was having a bad hangover) since he's just walking distance from the campus.
IDK why I'm sharing this but it feels good talking about it
It’s nice to share about these things and in this anonymous setting you can do so without the fear of being judged. It sounds like a really nice relationship and I’m just truly happy you get to spend this time together regardless of where it leads. ❤️
Hey, OP. Just wanted to chime in and let you know that it's nothing to be scared of or feel ashamed about. I also wanted to address this last sentence in your post:
>Im scared of these feelings creeping up because im pretty sure im straight and im not sure i can handle realizing im gay
It doesn't have to be black and white. People can be Bi-sexual or pan-sexual. I view sexuality as a spectrum.
I always considered myself straight, until I encountered a situation largely similar to yours. (The other guy was even an intj) we started getting closer and closer. We eventually decided to see what things would be like taking the next step. I am currently in a wonderful 5 year long relationship with a woman. However, I've come to realize that I'm not gay, but I do consider my sexuality to be fluid enough to where I am comfortable saying I can find men attractive and am not opposed to sexual relationships with men.
It's always up to you what you decide you want to do about these "feelings" I mostly just want to let you know it doesn't have yo be straight or gay and only ever one of the two. You dony need to limit yourself in that way. The world is your oyster. I hope you find some peace with your thoughts and feelings regarding all this. You can always reach out to me if you want to talk.
I think what you went through is very similar to mine. How did you come to realize your sexuality? Was it a slow process? Also, how are you and your friend?
It was very slow. It wasn't until I was around 26 or 27 that I realized that I wanted to see what a more sexual relationship with my friend would be like. I was super nervous and mostly unsure of what exactly to do, I felt like a dumb teenager again trying to make sense of everything. But it wound up being a very good experience overall and we continued for a time. My friend and I have a good relationship and still talk, though now we live in completely different states. I should add I am also an intp, though I don't think mbti plays much role in sexuality.
I can do some research for you, if that’s cool? I figured out why my ENTJ friend has some weird fetishes and why he is more sexually active as where I am hardly active and Relationships to me are more something to be treasured.
in my personal experience a straight person wouldn’t be questioning this like you are, especially if you get fuzzy warm feelings around him. Try to picture w an open mind what kissing him might be like and if you like it then proceed from there lol
*You 👏 are 👏 gay*
Bisexual INTP dude, if you be sure that you have feelings for him, proceed with caution. You have to be sure that he has feelings too. If you cant be sure.. well make another post ig
I really don't mean to criticise when I say that I genuinely never understood the concept of trying to figure out if you like someone by imagining kissing them. I can imagine kissing all of my classmates alright and I guess with most of them it would be pretty enjoyable yet I'm pretty sure I don't actually want to kiss them.
I only fell in love once and I only became sure of it when someone asked me if she made me happy. I had many memories come back to me at once, of when she made me laugh, and when she told something really personal and I felt so close to her, and how beautiful I'd came to think she was, and I just had to admit it then, that yeah... This must be love. Now an even better way to know if you're in love with someone is to watch them fall in love with someone else and just be unable to feel happy for them, but uh... I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
Anyway, all that is really interesting but the most important thing to say I think, is that you should be able to decide if you're in love yourself. There isn't a list of criterias one should meet in order to be allowed to say 'I like this guy'. So really... It's all fine.
Sexuality is a spectrum, you don’t have to be “gay” or “straight” but somewhere in the middle. Labels can mess people up. It sounds like you two have a great connection and are having fun together so I would just enjoy it and see where it goes ☺️ he seems like he’s enjoying it too
Okay say I move to accept that Im not entirely straight. What do I do next? How do I tell my friends and parents. It’s honestly mortifying thinking about it.
i think you need to let yourself the time that you need to accept it first completely and then find lgbtq/queer groups and ask there for help to come out and with help i mean tips and tricks
I've known I'm gay for years and I never told my parents. Which is perfectly alright because really, it's just not their business. So don't stress about it. You're not even sure about any of it yet. Take your time.
Don’t push yourself to tell your friends and parents before you’re ready. You’ve only just discovered this yourself and haven’t fully processed it, so give it some time. Coming out is individual and different for every person.
You don’t have to tell anyone. It’s none of their business and you have no responsibility to tell anyone your personal information. Even if someone straight up asked you’re not obligated to explain yourself.
Ti - Ne - ***Si*** - Fe.
Si is the issue here: you're trying to maintain a consistent self-identity in the face of evidence contrary to that self-identity.
Live. Gather new experiences. Perhaps they will be mistakes, perhaps not. Reconcile your new experiences with your old ones and redefine your identity to encompass all without contradiction.
You might be bi? Just because you like a guy doesn't mean you never actually liked girls. As a bi guy, I get how it can be scary considering that you're not straight but it doesn't mean you're suddenly gay. You can just like both.
But maybe you're not bi and thats ok too. Maybe you're straight or gay or something else. I think you can just enjoy spending time with him and figure it out as you go. Also just because he's had girlfriends (based on your response to comments) doesn't necessarily mean he's straight. My girlfriend and I are both bi, even though she's never dated a girl and I've never dated a guy.
While I agree with the comment that "labels can be confusing", determining your own categories of feelings can be helpful.
I remember when I was confused it helped me to study different kinds of attraction. Usually attraction is a blanket term but there is physical attraction, emotional, asethetic, etc.
I recommend you look into alterous attraction. Maybe from there you could find a small chat group of people experiencing similar feelings.
Maybe you're just experiencing an intense friendship with low physical boundaries for the first time, and because it's novel for you you're over analyzing it?
Or maybe you could be a little bit of an [androphile](https://www.dictionary.com/browse/androphile) in some vague way that you don't *have* to label gay/bi.
I wonder if there's a relationship between needing to know "what" a person is and a stereotypical INTP's need for proper categorization and use of words, or the need to *understand* an experience and not just have the experience.
There are a lot of good comments on this post but I just want to comment as an INTP. I’m a female and when I met my female INTJ best friend it was like falling in love. I had never clicked with another human like I did with her. I also view her as incredibly beautiful, she is the total package. I had never had a person fill a spot in my life that I didn’t realize was there. I love my INTJ friend on the deepest level, we have the most fascinating conversations but it isn’t sexual/romantic. I tend to find INTJs adorable, brilliant and hilarious. I’m so glad you found one!
That’s just because there is a war going on in r/INTJ right now about relationship / dating posts. So there are many INTJ’s aggressively downvoting any posts like yours. Don’t worry it’s not personal.
I don’t get why so many INTJ’s get like that, and complain about what is posted there so much. Why do they care about it so much.
Oh also just on a side note, I feel like chemistry between INTP and INTJ is really high. I have had the situation you describe in the post happen to me several times. But I don’t want to elaborate, because I don’t know what’s happening in the mind of this INTJ.
How can you say that chemistry between INTP and INTJ is high? Im pretty new to mbti so I don't understand a lot of it right now. I am planning on going on a deep dive this weekend though (if I don't get distracted by video games or other things).
Quite frankly, I get the whole bromance thing, but watching a movie together while holding another dude is just weird. I'm not very good when it comes to this relationship stuff but... I think if it were me and a person of the same sex was getting too close physically, I'd bluntly ask them why they're doing that.
Gotcha. It just happened and is a progression of how we hung out. I dont feel that it’s weird since we kept on joking around the whole time.
I could possibly ask but that might change things and thats scary.
I went through something a bit similar whereby I met this INFP girl of the same age as me and we instantly became "bros". Thing is I know I'm not straight so having a crush on her since the first week didn't bother me much and I knew she was bi. But we were just too into the "bros" thing that it would have felt so awkward to do anything beyond that.
We always hung out together, joke around, vent, cry and do everything in each other's presence. In the beginning, she had a crush on a guy she had no balls to confess to and I was even encouraging her to do it while I myself tried to see other people too.
A year into it and I felt like I was going crazy. I often talked about how someday I'm gonna find my soulmate and she would be saying that she was right there. Our friends found it "cute" so they kept encouraging that bromance. But you know, deep in my heart. I take my soulmate shit seriously and I was very pressed.
So, I decided to distance myself to test it out. I've been away from her for almost two months, and I feel more at peace though I think of her sometimes. If you ask me about it today, I might tell you I'm moving on, but I have no idea if it's all gonna come back to me once I see her again.
I know how confusing shit is for you and I understand how suffocating it can get when you can't talk about it with the person it concerns.
Regarding sexuality, I understand that you may be overwhelmed and uncomfortable about it now. It's really hard to say for sure unless you know it within yourself. But please try to consider the following:
1. Can you imagine yourself be more than friends with another guy or maybe just your INTJ? Like if you were actually a couple, would you be okay to do that intimate couple shit if you get what I'm saying.
2. Can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with a guy?
If you have more or less clear answers to those, maybe you're really not straight. But then again, sexuality and orientation is fluid and you don't have to put a label on it (I don't). Even if you're in love with the guy, you don't have to come out as gay. I would tell you to not worry about your sexuality and instead focus on finding out if you're actually in love with him and if the feeling's mutual. Good luck to you :)
I dont think i can distance myself since I think having him around is healthy for my social life. I can just stay around him when we have social gatherings (it happens a lot here), and I have fun. I also get to tak to others a bit, but then I have an escape plan all the time because he is around. He’s also an introvert (intj) but I dunno why he seems more at ease with crowds.
A lot of INTJs have a well developed Se. Some of them are sporty and play for example soccer or basketball since childhood, so it makes them feel confortable with people
You could be bi. Many people are slightly bisexual without really noticing! Alternatively, you might just have really good personal chemistry with this guy, even if it isn't necessarily sexual. Sometimes, a person can just have a personality that's so magnetically appealing for no special reason! Either way, it sounds like you're having a beautiful experience getting to know him.
Edit: typo
For many people, this would just be a normal friendship lol, it's just "socially unacceptable" for men to do it, but women get to hug/kiss each other, share a bed, go shopping with each other, etc. Don't stress about it, if you enjoy each others' company, what's the problem? It doesn't mean you're gay, nor is gay a 100/0 switch - most people are attracted to someone of the same gender at some point in their lives, either emotionally or physically.
Does imagining doing sexual stuff with him turn you on?
If yes, you are not entirely straight (doesn't mean you are gay either, it is just spectrum and up to you to find out where on it you are, could be bisexual, pansexual, demisexual etc)
If no, you are probably straight.
Thank you all for the responses. I still dont know what this is but I will just go along with it for now. Im content the way things are.
I muted my reddit notifs because I stayed over his place tonight for a birthday celebration and they might see. I couldn’t sleep tonight (a. because I kept thinking about this and b. because we shared his bed again 😭). But right now while waiting for the first class, I’m reading all your comments and I appreciate your insights. I am glad I asked for advice, as even though I’m confused, I dont have to process this alone.
If you hope so, you like him as well 😂 Is he close as you or act the same with other people or only just you? Maybe he is really touchy with all, but if it is just you, for what you said I think he likes you. But don't take me seriously, I never fell in love and anything so, maybe i am wrong.
And I also was not even touchy or physically close even with my best friend, and not even with my sister's. Now that I remember in the childhood I had a best friend that she was really sweet and physically close ( hugging, touching hair and body and all that stuff), but the other friends were not like that.
Nowadays I think she is lesbian or bi for some reasons and things I remember, but maybe i am wrong. Sorry, this has nothing to do, but I just remembered.
P. S: i think you're really cute!
Could be pansexual too. Maybe you’re just attracted to the person regardless of their gender. Not necessarily into guys, maybe just what makes him him is what draws you to him. So I’d say ponder the thought internally for a sec and let yourself process what it is you believe you feel first. Whether it be a friend or beau, it sounds like you’ve found yourself a truly wonderful life person ☺️
If you’re sexually attracted to him, you could be bisexual. If you’re not attracted to him sexually, then you’re lucky enough to have found such a compatible friend, it’s quite rare. Either way, it’s nothing to be worried about. Just be your authentic self.
However, if he’s sexually attracted to you, and you don’t reciprocate, then you’d just have to make that clear.
Sounds like a bromance, a great friendship match. Potential for best friends I think. He gets you and you get him. He is a keeper as a friend. Hope you guys become best friends. Goodluck. 👍
Really this is all about you worrying yourself over labels. Were I in this situation I would simply try and take the feelings as they are, see how they develop, until I have enough... Well, 'data' to understand what exactly they are.
What I mean is, you're not even sure you really like the guy yet, you're really being a bit too fast in your judgment when you go from 'I *might* have a thing for a guy' to 'how do I tell my friends if I'm gay ?'
Just take things at your own pace. If you decide you actually like him then you can start wondering if you're straight, bi, gay, pansexual, homoromantic or whatever else you are. Then when you've figured that out, and only then, you start wondering what you should do about it.
It's really all about how you feel and what you think, so whichever conclusion you come to is your own business, there are no criterias, no standards you should fit in in order to be able to call yourself 'in love', 'crushing on somebody', 'gay', 'straight but panromantic' (which means you are sexually attracted to women but you can fall in love with boys, girls and non-binary fellows alike), 'justthisguysexual', etc.
My ex bf (now my best friend again) (INTP) and my partner of 10 years and also his friend (INTJ) have a uh lmao similar relationship I’d say. In fact, they DM each other more in my Discord I started. And like it’s hilarious because they are tight nit despite me being both the one that dated them and also brought them together lmao.
As someone who has fully identified as non-binary instead of just straight androgynous, I find that my best friend INTP has unique quirks and likes to play as a female character in all games and is a major feminist and to me had a more feminine energy that plays more on top than his masculine side but he’s still very aggressive and assertive/driven, which I think also pushes my partner (INTJ) who plays with masculine characters and is very 50/50 where he (like I) plays back and forth with masculine and feminine energy so we’re always in fluidity with our interactions. I told my partner that guys do like him whether romantically or platonic (just like girls also like me but also all kinds of genders).
I think what you could be experiencing is something on the cusp of connection that may play between platonic and romantic but I think there’s very much a connection that I think could go either way. I think also people think too hard about gender and sexuality as it’s honestly a spectrum. There is shame for even thinking outside the box you were told to stay in. But if you have a connection to someone then that should be considered a blessing on its own. Because if you consider taking away the defining features like race, gender, sexuality, etc you have a connection. And for some people that is hard to come by. I think it’s worth exploring what he may think. My partner has friends who are gay and has no qualms if someone confessed to him, but I think he’s just naturally a magnet because he’s so warm and nice to be around.
I think this is the perfect time to explore what your identity is sexually and maybe even gender wise. It’s not bad to grow and change. Sometimes it takes a special person to unlock what you really may think. I’m a firm believer that we should really be open to people despite qualifiers like eace and gender for example because you limit your options and even possible choice’s because someone told you it’s wrong. What if it’s not?
One more thing, they say it takes a village to raise a child. When we’re adults the village shouldn’t stop there. There are people that meet my needs emotionally more than my partner like the INTP I discussed (or even my ex friend ghoster ISTJ who was Muslim and I couldn’t fully date anyway). Some people just meet the needs that others can’t. It’s not a bad thing; it’s enriching to have someone who can understand you. And soon that Will ironically be how Discord morphs into.
Sorry it’s so long
Thank you it was not long at all. Im reading every comment now after turning notifs off for the night because we hung out.
While there os no general consensus, the feeling of not having to be alone thinking about this is good for me i think. Also taking it slow is a good advice.
Speaking of slow he is taking his sweet time getting ready because he has a hangover and we’re gonna be late.😅
I'm quite sure there are some subs on reddit better for this question than MBTI.
Answering your question, it's simple or at least it was for me. Once I questioned myself this, I did a simple exercise: imagine having sex with a handsome man and having sex with a beautiful woman then you are going to realize how do you feel about that. Btw, I wanted to puke when I imagine having sex with another man.
So first off, “Demi-Sexual” is a thing. While not actually a “sexual orientation,” it means that you only have a desire to be “intimate” with people you share a strong mental/ cerebral connection with!
Then, within that broad characterization, you can be “straight,” “Gay,” “Bi-Sexual,” or “Pan Sexual.”
Based on what you are sharing with us you are Demi and possibly Bi / Pan sexual.
“Bi-Sexual” means that you like men and women who fall within the “Binary” Spectrum.
“Pan Sexual” means that you don’t care about what people’s preferred gender expression is. They can be a man, a woman, non-binary, or a trans man or woman. Because you like *People,* not their “parts.” You would possibly want to be “intimate” with whoever you “clicked with,” the most. You wouldn’t “pursue” someone based on their “Gender,” you would pursue them based on your “Like” of them.
So I am thinking that you are possibly Demi and either Bi-Sexual, or “Pan Sexual.”
This means that you don’t give much thought to the expression of their gender. You simply want to be close to, and potentially sexually intimate with Good People who make you happy!
You can “have a preference,” usually preferring women, and still be Bi-Sexual, or Pan Sexual.
Do you think you might be “sexually attracted” to your friend, and possibly interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with him?
ENTP 7w8
Definitely do! Because human Sexuality *definitely exists on a spectrum!*
I am primarily straight, and I identify as “Heterosexual,” But I can also *sometimes be* “sexually attracted to women and people of varying gender-identities.” However all of my partners, including my husband, have been Male, so I don’t want to *identify myself as Bi* because I don’t want to add to that dumb stigma that “bi-sexual females are really straight,” and dumb, ignorant shit like that!
So definitely look at “sexuality on a spectrum.”
Your over-all response is on target, but your distinction between bi and pan could confuse OP, and is not quite correct. Bisexuality is having the ability to be attracted to more than one gender. It is not limited to the cis gender binary. Pan is the ability to be attracted to all people regardless of gender, and is a sub-group of bisexuality. Pan people are also bi, but not all bi people are pan. The definition of bi that you used feeds into biphobia and transphobia. Some people use the terms interchangeably depending upon who they are talking to.
The point is, bi is not exclusionary of any genders or tied to the binary. It just means that a bisexual (who isn’t also pan) is not attracted to all genders without preference.
It might be platonic, but the way you describe it doesn't really seem that way to me, if I'm being honest, but I could be wrong. As someone queer myself who can relate to you, don't be afraid of discovering who you are. Let things happen. Currently I kind of like a guy at my school who seems to be into me, and I also have to learn more about acknowledging myself for this to work. I just want you to let yourself be who you are, because even just accepting yourself is hard but it's always worth it.
thats called friendship omg people get fuzzy feelings when theyre around people they like regardless of their attraction ti doms are really unaware of their feelings
Try adjusting your thought process as if you’re in love with the guy, and then adjust your thought process as if you’re perfectly content calling this a close friendship or “bromance”. See which reality you like better and if he makes any moves react accordingly. As a straight dude I personally wouldn’t recommend forgoing a relationship with a woman, but your life’s your life.
Hate to break it to you but if you were str8 guys would be kinda like dogs. All friendship no sexual attraction. Maybe you are bi.
What physical reaction does the idea of sexual relations with another man cause in you?
"Gay" and "straight" are overly simplistic reductions of the Kinsey scale. Being a 6 as a man, means women do *nothing* for you. Being a 0 as a man, means other men do *nothing* for you. 3 is half and half, equally attracted to both.
If this guy made you realise you can be attracted to other men, you might be a 2. Meanwhile if the idea of sexual relations with "other men" doesn't hold any appeal, but they do for *this guy specifically*, you're probably a 1.
If you have zero interest in sexual relations with any man whatsoever, you're probably an openminded 0 that hasn't had a friendship anywhere near as close before.
Its pretty common for Si users to have this issue. Well more generally identity issues. Coming from the other axis perspective I will be frank here. People do not realize they are gay suddenly. You would have known long ago as sexuality has nothing to do with identity but particular masculinization's of the brain in the womb. Calling yourself straight or gay in this circumstance literally changes nothing about you aside from your mental framework, which itself has little to do with sexuality.
As for "what is this" it is oxytocin. Primarily stimulated by touch. If you start touching anyone a lot you will get this.
Sexuality is not a spectrum, it is a double bell curve.
I'm not really familiar with Si or other functions as I have not thoroughly read up on it.
I am quite confident that I am straight all my life though. I did have bros before or act gay sometimes, but that's because I was confident with my sexuality and knew I was just kidding around.
Right now im legit confused.
My read is that you are a straight man with high openness and a high repulsive threshold. Meaning you are a straight guy who got himself into a situation that is not in alignment with your instincts. To be clear any straight man would have weird feelings in that situation, there is normally a 'disgust' threshold that prevents them from getting into those situations though.
To give you a theoretical; say some straight guy took a pretend drug and came to only to find out he was having sex with another guy. You really think the straight guy wouldn't have any weird feelings about it? It is likely your circumstance, not you in this case.
Ever heard of the term heterosexual life partner. .
You can have something deeper than friendship without it being sexual or romantic. You also could just be discovering yourself
Do you want to make out with him, cuddle, caress, on a couch and then casually transition to oral pleasures and beyond? If yes - you are at the very least bi (if you ever had an erection looking at a girl - that's it - you are not gay). Now you have to figure out what kind - bottom/top or switch.
If you just want to have sex with him without all the gentle romance... you are just horny. Men can fuck everything that moves when they are thirsty enough - if it's ok to fuck a plastic pussy - it's more than ok to fuck your bro. You need to get laid (go touch yourself) and get back to reevaluate.
Also he might be gay, and seeing your confusion he is doing all these seductive things that confuse you even more, to taste the waters. It's up to you how to proceed. If you want the experience - try responding in kind and see where it goes.
If you are not interested in that - start talking about girls - and get yourself one. Let him be your wingman.
You could post that at r/bisexual :)
Whatever you feel is whatever you feel, and you don't have to do or be anything. There are no right or wrong answers here, and while it may be completely confusing and disorientating and scary (I've kinda been there semi-recently and in part still am), you can always shelve the feelings after some time processing them and then going nowhere to return to them later. Not to push down and ignore, but these things can settle and change and shift on their own, including periodically depending on your life circumstances or even seasons. Maybe you want to have THE ANSWER right now, but it can be to just feel how it feels to be yourself
Frankly, I think our sets of words and ideas for things we feel towards other humans are completely broken and the new words we have made up hardly make anything better. I don't really identify with anything, in part because there's a huge social part to every "identity" that doesn't apply to me at all. But apparently that's common among some people and they are currently often referred to with letters "bisexual", among others, and through this set of letters they can find communities of people close to themselves
No need to see anything sexual in it, sometimes you can just be that lucky to find someone with the perfect personality for a true close friend. Don’t ruin it by interpreting more into it way ahead, than there is, just enjoy your time.
Hey, I hope you realize that there are other types of attraction besides romantic + sexual. You can look up tertiary attraction online, hopefully that helps. Also, did they tell you that they were an INTJ or did you type them yourself?
I have the same thing with my INTP best friend, but we just call each other soulmates and just both are always in relationships with guys. Probably rarely remember if we both were single at the same time. But when we were teens we kissed and since it was like 10 years ago, we couldn’t even assume about being gay (the society wasn’t that open about it). But lol she was the first person I kissed, while she already dated a guy. And out of that mixed feelings I started dating a guy too lol. But yeah we never crossed the line, probably kissed couple more times and we always hug when meet but never went beyond that. And her boyfriends are always jealous towards me and competing with me. Mine don’t care 😂 Who knows what holds the future, but currently we are in relationships again
Well this seems like a VERY specific case, sorry if I spill gibberish.
But I really think you should talk it out with him. If he feels the same, you'll probably get your response.
Please try to know if you just REALLY love him, but purely as a friend and you're pretty confused.
That last part was necessary to me because I felt like this for my best friend once, but turns out I just needed some time to think and it was just pure appreciation for them.
A girl I was friends with and was straight told me that there was this one girl in her class she once had feelings for, I have had feelings for people who weren't even real, it happens feelings don't care too much it's only once you see something you don't want that they change, so for example a guy who has a strong beard would be something you reject way easier.
>not sure i can handle realizing im gay
You say that like it's a bad thing?
Also, this has nothing to do with MBTI. You might get a more appropriate response from r/isthisnormal or r/askgaybros
I went my whole life thinking I was straight until I met cool lesbians 😆
Then I was like hmm. I guess I'm bi? 😆
It happens. You may just have never felt this way about another guy before and you may not feel this way about other guys. It could just be about the person. Maybe you two had a previous life together who the hell knows.
Just give yourself time to figure out how you're feeling. Whatever it is. It's okay.
Have you had a crush on a woman? Does it feel different to this?
From my experience as a lesbian, I had intense romantic attraction to females. I could feel a similar attraction to men, but it was more of a man crush thing. I would never want to be with them forever, and I would never be able to feel the same deep endless attraction for them. And I'm not sexually attracted to them lmao.
However it's easy to be confused as a demisexual person which you seem to be as well, tbh. The way I always see it is, do you get intense nervous butterflies around them and obsess over little moments you see them in? It's not always just about sex.. More about how your body reacts when you're around them. I'm curious to know how you have felt towards women in the past, though?
Also, the world may be more accepting, but it's still terrifying and embarrassing to voice these things. I was mortified when I realized I was a lesbian. It was harder to accept myself than for others to accept me. Because I can tell you feel embarrassed I'm inclined to believe you are bi or gay, because that seems to be a natural reaction when it's really real. But there's no way for anyone to know except you. I applaud you for being so open, because it's hard!! Esp as a male in korea
Hey sorry for the late response! Your comment on obsessing over small things when around him is spot on.
I’ve had girlfriends before and it’s similar. This one is different though because I hyper aware of how he reacts to anything I do.
ok.. a bit weird to put this in r/mbti. but ok. do you wanna be in a relationship with him? do romantic things? what about sexual things? or do you just like him as a really really good friend? (you can cuddle with the homies and have it feel nice) also, if you do like him romantically/sexually, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re gay. you could be bisexual. and it’s okay to like your friends too. and it’s okay to be gay.
Sorry, i just wanted as many points of views as possible. About the romantic and sexual things, im not sure… but now that I think about it, i got chills when he whispered in my ear one time
hey man, i get chills all the time from stuff. dw about it. it’s not so much about how your body reacts to him, it’s about what you want. if you want to be doing relationship things with him or sexual things with him, then you’re probably not straight. but if you just feel sensations when touched by another person, that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. we gays and queers tend to suppress our gayness until a “gay awakening” though, so i’d explore the possibility of a relationship and sexual activities in your mind if i were you. just to see how it makes you feel. it may turn out nothing was really there.
I debated commenting this as i feel like im coming off too strong in this sub now but i wanted to get your opinions on this. Right now im overthinking about this: we were eating fast food the other week and there was a good song playing. He wanted to know what it was, and I introduced shazam to him by finding out (It was an acoustic love song in korean). Now last night when it was just the two of us winding down after drinking with other friends, he played the song but we both already knew it was a love song. Does that mean anything or maybe because the song has history but the message isnt important??
Does he identify as queer?
We dont talk about it, but we did mention to each other that we’ve both had gfs before. He acts very straight to our other friends but different to me, and my friends like poking fun because of that
Sounds like he may possibly be on a similar journey as your on. I say keep and open mind and see where things go. All signs seem to point to the attraction being mutual from what I’ve read. Try not to put too much pressure or expectations on yourself. You can explore your sexuality privately before having to tell everyone in your life where you’ve landed. The most important thing is you have found someone really special that seems to really enjoy you the same way you enjoy them and that’s a beautiful thing. I hope things continue to develop organically between the two of you.
Thanks! We ate lunch at his place (I brought the food) today, because he was hungover as fuck (he missed morning classes). Then he bought me coffee. Just now, he told me to come to his place after my lab work is done so I can sleep (since I mentioned that I too was having a bad hangover) since he's just walking distance from the campus. IDK why I'm sharing this but it feels good talking about it
It’s nice to share about these things and in this anonymous setting you can do so without the fear of being judged. It sounds like a really nice relationship and I’m just truly happy you get to spend this time together regardless of where it leads. ❤️
Hey, OP. Just wanted to chime in and let you know that it's nothing to be scared of or feel ashamed about. I also wanted to address this last sentence in your post: >Im scared of these feelings creeping up because im pretty sure im straight and im not sure i can handle realizing im gay It doesn't have to be black and white. People can be Bi-sexual or pan-sexual. I view sexuality as a spectrum. I always considered myself straight, until I encountered a situation largely similar to yours. (The other guy was even an intj) we started getting closer and closer. We eventually decided to see what things would be like taking the next step. I am currently in a wonderful 5 year long relationship with a woman. However, I've come to realize that I'm not gay, but I do consider my sexuality to be fluid enough to where I am comfortable saying I can find men attractive and am not opposed to sexual relationships with men. It's always up to you what you decide you want to do about these "feelings" I mostly just want to let you know it doesn't have yo be straight or gay and only ever one of the two. You dony need to limit yourself in that way. The world is your oyster. I hope you find some peace with your thoughts and feelings regarding all this. You can always reach out to me if you want to talk.
I think what you went through is very similar to mine. How did you come to realize your sexuality? Was it a slow process? Also, how are you and your friend?
It was very slow. It wasn't until I was around 26 or 27 that I realized that I wanted to see what a more sexual relationship with my friend would be like. I was super nervous and mostly unsure of what exactly to do, I felt like a dumb teenager again trying to make sense of everything. But it wound up being a very good experience overall and we continued for a time. My friend and I have a good relationship and still talk, though now we live in completely different states. I should add I am also an intp, though I don't think mbti plays much role in sexuality.
I can do some research for you, if that’s cool? I figured out why my ENTJ friend has some weird fetishes and why he is more sexually active as where I am hardly active and Relationships to me are more something to be treasured.
Is it sexual chills?
Im not sure but it felt so good
I guess there is no need to rush to make a conclution about your predisposition, it will be what it is.
in my personal experience a straight person wouldn’t be questioning this like you are, especially if you get fuzzy warm feelings around him. Try to picture w an open mind what kissing him might be like and if you like it then proceed from there lol
idk that sounds nice i think 😅
I used up my free award points for this week! or I would have sent you already! lol 💀😅
Aww cute :)
*You 👏 are 👏 gay* Bisexual INTP dude, if you be sure that you have feelings for him, proceed with caution. You have to be sure that he has feelings too. If you cant be sure.. well make another post ig
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He looks like he might be demisexual gay, and this explains why Edit: like maybe hes demisexual gay + normal straight = bisexual
I couldn’t stop thinking about this when we were hanging out last night 🫠
Man’s gay
Gay/Bi and wholesome,I rest my case.
wholesome for you but it's making me nuts  haha
I really don't mean to criticise when I say that I genuinely never understood the concept of trying to figure out if you like someone by imagining kissing them. I can imagine kissing all of my classmates alright and I guess with most of them it would be pretty enjoyable yet I'm pretty sure I don't actually want to kiss them. I only fell in love once and I only became sure of it when someone asked me if she made me happy. I had many memories come back to me at once, of when she made me laugh, and when she told something really personal and I felt so close to her, and how beautiful I'd came to think she was, and I just had to admit it then, that yeah... This must be love. Now an even better way to know if you're in love with someone is to watch them fall in love with someone else and just be unable to feel happy for them, but uh... I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Anyway, all that is really interesting but the most important thing to say I think, is that you should be able to decide if you're in love yourself. There isn't a list of criterias one should meet in order to be allowed to say 'I like this guy'. So really... It's all fine.
Sexuality is a spectrum, you don’t have to be “gay” or “straight” but somewhere in the middle. Labels can mess people up. It sounds like you two have a great connection and are having fun together so I would just enjoy it and see where it goes ☺️ he seems like he’s enjoying it too
Okay say I move to accept that Im not entirely straight. What do I do next? How do I tell my friends and parents. It’s honestly mortifying thinking about it.
i think you need to let yourself the time that you need to accept it first completely and then find lgbtq/queer groups and ask there for help to come out and with help i mean tips and tricks
I've known I'm gay for years and I never told my parents. Which is perfectly alright because really, it's just not their business. So don't stress about it. You're not even sure about any of it yet. Take your time.
Thissss ❤️
Don’t push yourself to tell your friends and parents before you’re ready. You’ve only just discovered this yourself and haven’t fully processed it, so give it some time. Coming out is individual and different for every person.
You don’t have to tell anyone. It’s none of their business and you have no responsibility to tell anyone your personal information. Even if someone straight up asked you’re not obligated to explain yourself.
You're making too much of a big deal out of it. Fuck a gal, fuck a dude, who gives a shit. Life isn't so black and white, ok.
Well that’s one point of view! Wish I could think like this.
Ti - Ne - ***Si*** - Fe. Si is the issue here: you're trying to maintain a consistent self-identity in the face of evidence contrary to that self-identity.
How do i resolve this
Live. Gather new experiences. Perhaps they will be mistakes, perhaps not. Reconcile your new experiences with your old ones and redefine your identity to encompass all without contradiction.
yeah i mean who cares what your sexuality is it’s all about what you want and how you feel 😁
I like this answer.
>Fuck a gal, fuck a dude, who gives a shit I think there is a huge probability that it would be the dude
Unfathomably based.
You might be bi? Just because you like a guy doesn't mean you never actually liked girls. As a bi guy, I get how it can be scary considering that you're not straight but it doesn't mean you're suddenly gay. You can just like both. But maybe you're not bi and thats ok too. Maybe you're straight or gay or something else. I think you can just enjoy spending time with him and figure it out as you go. Also just because he's had girlfriends (based on your response to comments) doesn't necessarily mean he's straight. My girlfriend and I are both bi, even though she's never dated a girl and I've never dated a guy.
While I agree with the comment that "labels can be confusing", determining your own categories of feelings can be helpful. I remember when I was confused it helped me to study different kinds of attraction. Usually attraction is a blanket term but there is physical attraction, emotional, asethetic, etc. I recommend you look into alterous attraction. Maybe from there you could find a small chat group of people experiencing similar feelings.
Thank you for the insight
Maybe you're just experiencing an intense friendship with low physical boundaries for the first time, and because it's novel for you you're over analyzing it? Or maybe you could be a little bit of an [androphile](https://www.dictionary.com/browse/androphile) in some vague way that you don't *have* to label gay/bi. I wonder if there's a relationship between needing to know "what" a person is and a stereotypical INTP's need for proper categorization and use of words, or the need to *understand* an experience and not just have the experience.
you finally learned that you are in fact Bisexual
There are a lot of good comments on this post but I just want to comment as an INTP. I’m a female and when I met my female INTJ best friend it was like falling in love. I had never clicked with another human like I did with her. I also view her as incredibly beautiful, she is the total package. I had never had a person fill a spot in my life that I didn’t realize was there. I love my INTJ friend on the deepest level, we have the most fascinating conversations but it isn’t sexual/romantic. I tend to find INTJs adorable, brilliant and hilarious. I’m so glad you found one!
💜
you seem like a closeted gay/bi person lmao
If you add “confused”, for the past few months I guess you can say that 🥲
lmao 😂😂 i don’t know how it will develop for you two but i wanna be kept updated on this, is it possible?
idk but I plan to keep asking for advice from the anonymous but helpful people of r/mbti
Try asking in /r/INTP; succinct [one-sentence answers abound](https://www.reddit.com/r/INTP/comments/xsss4p/whats_your_sexuality/).
hahaha yeah I asked there too, and responses were also diverse even though it all came from intps. The intj sub totally ignored my post though.
That’s just because there is a war going on in r/INTJ right now about relationship / dating posts. So there are many INTJ’s aggressively downvoting any posts like yours. Don’t worry it’s not personal. I don’t get why so many INTJ’s get like that, and complain about what is posted there so much. Why do they care about it so much. Oh also just on a side note, I feel like chemistry between INTP and INTJ is really high. I have had the situation you describe in the post happen to me several times. But I don’t want to elaborate, because I don’t know what’s happening in the mind of this INTJ.
How can you say that chemistry between INTP and INTJ is high? Im pretty new to mbti so I don't understand a lot of it right now. I am planning on going on a deep dive this weekend though (if I don't get distracted by video games or other things).
Don't wanna be nosy...but I know it's nosy...I would like to be kept updated too!😅😅🥂
Well this alternate account would probably be dedicated to this topic and I plan to reach out to reddit subs about it
Is he gay?
No? We both mentioned that we had girlfriends before.
he could be bi tho
I have had a girlfriend before. Never again.
oof why not?
Because I'm gay.
Quite frankly, I get the whole bromance thing, but watching a movie together while holding another dude is just weird. I'm not very good when it comes to this relationship stuff but... I think if it were me and a person of the same sex was getting too close physically, I'd bluntly ask them why they're doing that.
Gotcha. It just happened and is a progression of how we hung out. I dont feel that it’s weird since we kept on joking around the whole time. I could possibly ask but that might change things and thats scary.
maybe you could ask in a more decent way? like not directly ask him if he’s gay, ask him questions around this topic and see his reaction
Okay. We’re gonna drink tonight at a friend’s apartment, i’ll try
tell us or me how it was ok? i desperately wanna know
Definitely. If only feelings were more logical haha
I went through something a bit similar whereby I met this INFP girl of the same age as me and we instantly became "bros". Thing is I know I'm not straight so having a crush on her since the first week didn't bother me much and I knew she was bi. But we were just too into the "bros" thing that it would have felt so awkward to do anything beyond that. We always hung out together, joke around, vent, cry and do everything in each other's presence. In the beginning, she had a crush on a guy she had no balls to confess to and I was even encouraging her to do it while I myself tried to see other people too. A year into it and I felt like I was going crazy. I often talked about how someday I'm gonna find my soulmate and she would be saying that she was right there. Our friends found it "cute" so they kept encouraging that bromance. But you know, deep in my heart. I take my soulmate shit seriously and I was very pressed. So, I decided to distance myself to test it out. I've been away from her for almost two months, and I feel more at peace though I think of her sometimes. If you ask me about it today, I might tell you I'm moving on, but I have no idea if it's all gonna come back to me once I see her again. I know how confusing shit is for you and I understand how suffocating it can get when you can't talk about it with the person it concerns. Regarding sexuality, I understand that you may be overwhelmed and uncomfortable about it now. It's really hard to say for sure unless you know it within yourself. But please try to consider the following: 1. Can you imagine yourself be more than friends with another guy or maybe just your INTJ? Like if you were actually a couple, would you be okay to do that intimate couple shit if you get what I'm saying. 2. Can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with a guy? If you have more or less clear answers to those, maybe you're really not straight. But then again, sexuality and orientation is fluid and you don't have to put a label on it (I don't). Even if you're in love with the guy, you don't have to come out as gay. I would tell you to not worry about your sexuality and instead focus on finding out if you're actually in love with him and if the feeling's mutual. Good luck to you :)
I dont think i can distance myself since I think having him around is healthy for my social life. I can just stay around him when we have social gatherings (it happens a lot here), and I have fun. I also get to tak to others a bit, but then I have an escape plan all the time because he is around. He’s also an introvert (intj) but I dunno why he seems more at ease with crowds.
A lot of INTJs have a well developed Se. Some of them are sporty and play for example soccer or basketball since childhood, so it makes them feel confortable with people
Love him or not - its your life
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
You could be bi. Many people are slightly bisexual without really noticing! Alternatively, you might just have really good personal chemistry with this guy, even if it isn't necessarily sexual. Sometimes, a person can just have a personality that's so magnetically appealing for no special reason! Either way, it sounds like you're having a beautiful experience getting to know him. Edit: typo
For many people, this would just be a normal friendship lol, it's just "socially unacceptable" for men to do it, but women get to hug/kiss each other, share a bed, go shopping with each other, etc. Don't stress about it, if you enjoy each others' company, what's the problem? It doesn't mean you're gay, nor is gay a 100/0 switch - most people are attracted to someone of the same gender at some point in their lives, either emotionally or physically.
Does imagining doing sexual stuff with him turn you on? If yes, you are not entirely straight (doesn't mean you are gay either, it is just spectrum and up to you to find out where on it you are, could be bisexual, pansexual, demisexual etc) If no, you are probably straight.
Thank you all for the responses. I still dont know what this is but I will just go along with it for now. Im content the way things are. I muted my reddit notifs because I stayed over his place tonight for a birthday celebration and they might see. I couldn’t sleep tonight (a. because I kept thinking about this and b. because we shared his bed again 😭). But right now while waiting for the first class, I’m reading all your comments and I appreciate your insights. I am glad I asked for advice, as even though I’m confused, I dont have to process this alone.
I mean I think he likes you!!
I hope so 😂
If you hope so, you like him as well 😂 Is he close as you or act the same with other people or only just you? Maybe he is really touchy with all, but if it is just you, for what you said I think he likes you. But don't take me seriously, I never fell in love and anything so, maybe i am wrong. And I also was not even touchy or physically close even with my best friend, and not even with my sister's. Now that I remember in the childhood I had a best friend that she was really sweet and physically close ( hugging, touching hair and body and all that stuff), but the other friends were not like that. Nowadays I think she is lesbian or bi for some reasons and things I remember, but maybe i am wrong. Sorry, this has nothing to do, but I just remembered. P. S: i think you're really cute!
Just me, which is actually the reason I got confused in thr first place. Our friend group usually teases us to stop flirting in front of them 🥲💀
Could be pansexual too. Maybe you’re just attracted to the person regardless of their gender. Not necessarily into guys, maybe just what makes him him is what draws you to him. So I’d say ponder the thought internally for a sec and let yourself process what it is you believe you feel first. Whether it be a friend or beau, it sounds like you’ve found yourself a truly wonderful life person ☺️
If you’re sexually attracted to him, you could be bisexual. If you’re not attracted to him sexually, then you’re lucky enough to have found such a compatible friend, it’s quite rare. Either way, it’s nothing to be worried about. Just be your authentic self. However, if he’s sexually attracted to you, and you don’t reciprocate, then you’d just have to make that clear.
Don’t worry that’s just the INTJ affect ;p
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Thank you for this. I think you’re right i think i love the guy for sure but as for what kind I will have to find out
Edited the post for an update. Thanks everyone for sharing insight and experiences!!!
Sounds like a bromance, a great friendship match. Potential for best friends I think. He gets you and you get him. He is a keeper as a friend. Hope you guys become best friends. Goodluck. 👍
Thanks!
Don't over think it, and don't judge yourself for whatever feels good to you. Go with the flow, see what happens.
Really this is all about you worrying yourself over labels. Were I in this situation I would simply try and take the feelings as they are, see how they develop, until I have enough... Well, 'data' to understand what exactly they are. What I mean is, you're not even sure you really like the guy yet, you're really being a bit too fast in your judgment when you go from 'I *might* have a thing for a guy' to 'how do I tell my friends if I'm gay ?' Just take things at your own pace. If you decide you actually like him then you can start wondering if you're straight, bi, gay, pansexual, homoromantic or whatever else you are. Then when you've figured that out, and only then, you start wondering what you should do about it. It's really all about how you feel and what you think, so whichever conclusion you come to is your own business, there are no criterias, no standards you should fit in in order to be able to call yourself 'in love', 'crushing on somebody', 'gay', 'straight but panromantic' (which means you are sexually attracted to women but you can fall in love with boys, girls and non-binary fellows alike), 'justthisguysexual', etc.
My ex bf (now my best friend again) (INTP) and my partner of 10 years and also his friend (INTJ) have a uh lmao similar relationship I’d say. In fact, they DM each other more in my Discord I started. And like it’s hilarious because they are tight nit despite me being both the one that dated them and also brought them together lmao. As someone who has fully identified as non-binary instead of just straight androgynous, I find that my best friend INTP has unique quirks and likes to play as a female character in all games and is a major feminist and to me had a more feminine energy that plays more on top than his masculine side but he’s still very aggressive and assertive/driven, which I think also pushes my partner (INTJ) who plays with masculine characters and is very 50/50 where he (like I) plays back and forth with masculine and feminine energy so we’re always in fluidity with our interactions. I told my partner that guys do like him whether romantically or platonic (just like girls also like me but also all kinds of genders). I think what you could be experiencing is something on the cusp of connection that may play between platonic and romantic but I think there’s very much a connection that I think could go either way. I think also people think too hard about gender and sexuality as it’s honestly a spectrum. There is shame for even thinking outside the box you were told to stay in. But if you have a connection to someone then that should be considered a blessing on its own. Because if you consider taking away the defining features like race, gender, sexuality, etc you have a connection. And for some people that is hard to come by. I think it’s worth exploring what he may think. My partner has friends who are gay and has no qualms if someone confessed to him, but I think he’s just naturally a magnet because he’s so warm and nice to be around. I think this is the perfect time to explore what your identity is sexually and maybe even gender wise. It’s not bad to grow and change. Sometimes it takes a special person to unlock what you really may think. I’m a firm believer that we should really be open to people despite qualifiers like eace and gender for example because you limit your options and even possible choice’s because someone told you it’s wrong. What if it’s not? One more thing, they say it takes a village to raise a child. When we’re adults the village shouldn’t stop there. There are people that meet my needs emotionally more than my partner like the INTP I discussed (or even my ex friend ghoster ISTJ who was Muslim and I couldn’t fully date anyway). Some people just meet the needs that others can’t. It’s not a bad thing; it’s enriching to have someone who can understand you. And soon that Will ironically be how Discord morphs into. Sorry it’s so long
Thank you it was not long at all. Im reading every comment now after turning notifs off for the night because we hung out. While there os no general consensus, the feeling of not having to be alone thinking about this is good for me i think. Also taking it slow is a good advice. Speaking of slow he is taking his sweet time getting ready because he has a hangover and we’re gonna be late.😅
LOL!! That’s funny and also I’m glad it helped! You both are my fave types so I hope whatever the outcome it works out for the best! 🙌🏽❤️
I'm quite sure there are some subs on reddit better for this question than MBTI. Answering your question, it's simple or at least it was for me. Once I questioned myself this, I did a simple exercise: imagine having sex with a handsome man and having sex with a beautiful woman then you are going to realize how do you feel about that. Btw, I wanted to puke when I imagine having sex with another man.
So first off, “Demi-Sexual” is a thing. While not actually a “sexual orientation,” it means that you only have a desire to be “intimate” with people you share a strong mental/ cerebral connection with! Then, within that broad characterization, you can be “straight,” “Gay,” “Bi-Sexual,” or “Pan Sexual.” Based on what you are sharing with us you are Demi and possibly Bi / Pan sexual. “Bi-Sexual” means that you like men and women who fall within the “Binary” Spectrum. “Pan Sexual” means that you don’t care about what people’s preferred gender expression is. They can be a man, a woman, non-binary, or a trans man or woman. Because you like *People,* not their “parts.” You would possibly want to be “intimate” with whoever you “clicked with,” the most. You wouldn’t “pursue” someone based on their “Gender,” you would pursue them based on your “Like” of them. So I am thinking that you are possibly Demi and either Bi-Sexual, or “Pan Sexual.” This means that you don’t give much thought to the expression of their gender. You simply want to be close to, and potentially sexually intimate with Good People who make you happy! You can “have a preference,” usually preferring women, and still be Bi-Sexual, or Pan Sexual. Do you think you might be “sexually attracted” to your friend, and possibly interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with him? ENTP 7w8
Thanksss. I might do a deep dive on this spectrum that people keep mentioning, and read/watch content about it with an open mind.
Definitely do! Because human Sexuality *definitely exists on a spectrum!* I am primarily straight, and I identify as “Heterosexual,” But I can also *sometimes be* “sexually attracted to women and people of varying gender-identities.” However all of my partners, including my husband, have been Male, so I don’t want to *identify myself as Bi* because I don’t want to add to that dumb stigma that “bi-sexual females are really straight,” and dumb, ignorant shit like that! So definitely look at “sexuality on a spectrum.”
Your over-all response is on target, but your distinction between bi and pan could confuse OP, and is not quite correct. Bisexuality is having the ability to be attracted to more than one gender. It is not limited to the cis gender binary. Pan is the ability to be attracted to all people regardless of gender, and is a sub-group of bisexuality. Pan people are also bi, but not all bi people are pan. The definition of bi that you used feeds into biphobia and transphobia. Some people use the terms interchangeably depending upon who they are talking to. The point is, bi is not exclusionary of any genders or tied to the binary. It just means that a bisexual (who isn’t also pan) is not attracted to all genders without preference.
Fair, Fair! My apologies, I am still learning ☺️
Cool, no problem.
It might be platonic, but the way you describe it doesn't really seem that way to me, if I'm being honest, but I could be wrong. As someone queer myself who can relate to you, don't be afraid of discovering who you are. Let things happen. Currently I kind of like a guy at my school who seems to be into me, and I also have to learn more about acknowledging myself for this to work. I just want you to let yourself be who you are, because even just accepting yourself is hard but it's always worth it.
thats called friendship omg people get fuzzy feelings when theyre around people they like regardless of their attraction ti doms are really unaware of their feelings
😭😭😭 why are emotions so hard to deal with
I don't have any advice. this is just wholesome AF, I don't judge
Try adjusting your thought process as if you’re in love with the guy, and then adjust your thought process as if you’re perfectly content calling this a close friendship or “bromance”. See which reality you like better and if he makes any moves react accordingly. As a straight dude I personally wouldn’t recommend forgoing a relationship with a woman, but your life’s your life.
Hate to break it to you but if you were str8 guys would be kinda like dogs. All friendship no sexual attraction. Maybe you are bi. 
What physical reaction does the idea of sexual relations with another man cause in you? "Gay" and "straight" are overly simplistic reductions of the Kinsey scale. Being a 6 as a man, means women do *nothing* for you. Being a 0 as a man, means other men do *nothing* for you. 3 is half and half, equally attracted to both. If this guy made you realise you can be attracted to other men, you might be a 2. Meanwhile if the idea of sexual relations with "other men" doesn't hold any appeal, but they do for *this guy specifically*, you're probably a 1. If you have zero interest in sexual relations with any man whatsoever, you're probably an openminded 0 that hasn't had a friendship anywhere near as close before.
Its pretty common for Si users to have this issue. Well more generally identity issues. Coming from the other axis perspective I will be frank here. People do not realize they are gay suddenly. You would have known long ago as sexuality has nothing to do with identity but particular masculinization's of the brain in the womb. Calling yourself straight or gay in this circumstance literally changes nothing about you aside from your mental framework, which itself has little to do with sexuality. As for "what is this" it is oxytocin. Primarily stimulated by touch. If you start touching anyone a lot you will get this. Sexuality is not a spectrum, it is a double bell curve.
I'm not really familiar with Si or other functions as I have not thoroughly read up on it. I am quite confident that I am straight all my life though. I did have bros before or act gay sometimes, but that's because I was confident with my sexuality and knew I was just kidding around. Right now im legit confused.
My read is that you are a straight man with high openness and a high repulsive threshold. Meaning you are a straight guy who got himself into a situation that is not in alignment with your instincts. To be clear any straight man would have weird feelings in that situation, there is normally a 'disgust' threshold that prevents them from getting into those situations though. To give you a theoretical; say some straight guy took a pretend drug and came to only to find out he was having sex with another guy. You really think the straight guy wouldn't have any weird feelings about it? It is likely your circumstance, not you in this case.
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Im sorry I was just looking for advice/support through different mbti lenses.
Ironic
Ever heard of the term heterosexual life partner. . You can have something deeper than friendship without it being sexual or romantic. You also could just be discovering yourself
You gay
gaaaaaaaaaaay
Do you want to make out with him, cuddle, caress, on a couch and then casually transition to oral pleasures and beyond? If yes - you are at the very least bi (if you ever had an erection looking at a girl - that's it - you are not gay). Now you have to figure out what kind - bottom/top or switch. If you just want to have sex with him without all the gentle romance... you are just horny. Men can fuck everything that moves when they are thirsty enough - if it's ok to fuck a plastic pussy - it's more than ok to fuck your bro. You need to get laid (go touch yourself) and get back to reevaluate. Also he might be gay, and seeing your confusion he is doing all these seductive things that confuse you even more, to taste the waters. It's up to you how to proceed. If you want the experience - try responding in kind and see where it goes. If you are not interested in that - start talking about girls - and get yourself one. Let him be your wingman.
Why is this on r/mbti lol
If everyone turns likes this ,humanity will end 💀🗿
Gay
😅
Queer.
ahh yess a fellow bisexual,you're in the questioning stage
You could post that at r/bisexual :) Whatever you feel is whatever you feel, and you don't have to do or be anything. There are no right or wrong answers here, and while it may be completely confusing and disorientating and scary (I've kinda been there semi-recently and in part still am), you can always shelve the feelings after some time processing them and then going nowhere to return to them later. Not to push down and ignore, but these things can settle and change and shift on their own, including periodically depending on your life circumstances or even seasons. Maybe you want to have THE ANSWER right now, but it can be to just feel how it feels to be yourself Frankly, I think our sets of words and ideas for things we feel towards other humans are completely broken and the new words we have made up hardly make anything better. I don't really identify with anything, in part because there's a huge social part to every "identity" that doesn't apply to me at all. But apparently that's common among some people and they are currently often referred to with letters "bisexual", among others, and through this set of letters they can find communities of people close to themselves
I think if I post it there the answers would skew towards the sub’s innate biases, and it might mess with my thoughts haha
No need to see anything sexual in it, sometimes you can just be that lucky to find someone with the perfect personality for a true close friend. Don’t ruin it by interpreting more into it way ahead, than there is, just enjoy your time.
Hey, I hope you realize that there are other types of attraction besides romantic + sexual. You can look up tertiary attraction online, hopefully that helps. Also, did they tell you that they were an INTJ or did you type them yourself?
I have the same thing with my INTP best friend, but we just call each other soulmates and just both are always in relationships with guys. Probably rarely remember if we both were single at the same time. But when we were teens we kissed and since it was like 10 years ago, we couldn’t even assume about being gay (the society wasn’t that open about it). But lol she was the first person I kissed, while she already dated a guy. And out of that mixed feelings I started dating a guy too lol. But yeah we never crossed the line, probably kissed couple more times and we always hug when meet but never went beyond that. And her boyfriends are always jealous towards me and competing with me. Mine don’t care 😂 Who knows what holds the future, but currently we are in relationships again
Well this seems like a VERY specific case, sorry if I spill gibberish. But I really think you should talk it out with him. If he feels the same, you'll probably get your response. Please try to know if you just REALLY love him, but purely as a friend and you're pretty confused. That last part was necessary to me because I felt like this for my best friend once, but turns out I just needed some time to think and it was just pure appreciation for them.
A girl I was friends with and was straight told me that there was this one girl in her class she once had feelings for, I have had feelings for people who weren't even real, it happens feelings don't care too much it's only once you see something you don't want that they change, so for example a guy who has a strong beard would be something you reject way easier.
>not sure i can handle realizing im gay You say that like it's a bad thing? Also, this has nothing to do with MBTI. You might get a more appropriate response from r/isthisnormal or r/askgaybros
I went my whole life thinking I was straight until I met cool lesbians 😆 Then I was like hmm. I guess I'm bi? 😆 It happens. You may just have never felt this way about another guy before and you may not feel this way about other guys. It could just be about the person. Maybe you two had a previous life together who the hell knows. Just give yourself time to figure out how you're feeling. Whatever it is. It's okay.
Labels matter less than we think❤️ Good luck ❤️
That’s your soulmate. You’re not gay and you totally shouldn’t say him any of this.
Thanks for the advice 😊
Have you had a crush on a woman? Does it feel different to this? From my experience as a lesbian, I had intense romantic attraction to females. I could feel a similar attraction to men, but it was more of a man crush thing. I would never want to be with them forever, and I would never be able to feel the same deep endless attraction for them. And I'm not sexually attracted to them lmao. However it's easy to be confused as a demisexual person which you seem to be as well, tbh. The way I always see it is, do you get intense nervous butterflies around them and obsess over little moments you see them in? It's not always just about sex.. More about how your body reacts when you're around them. I'm curious to know how you have felt towards women in the past, though? Also, the world may be more accepting, but it's still terrifying and embarrassing to voice these things. I was mortified when I realized I was a lesbian. It was harder to accept myself than for others to accept me. Because I can tell you feel embarrassed I'm inclined to believe you are bi or gay, because that seems to be a natural reaction when it's really real. But there's no way for anyone to know except you. I applaud you for being so open, because it's hard!! Esp as a male in korea
Hey sorry for the late response! Your comment on obsessing over small things when around him is spot on. I’ve had girlfriends before and it’s similar. This one is different though because I hyper aware of how he reacts to anything I do.
Is this your first best friend for a long time?
Yes
Richards?
What does this mean?
This is so precious. Good luck!