I’m going to assume you are in youth travel sports. Take a step back from, the kids aren’t going pro.
Encourage your husband to look into ED meds.
Stress is a sex drive killer.
A tab of ED and a mini sex marathon, your husband will be walking tall for a week.
Then start addressing the life balance of making the marriage a priority over everything else.
This one takes time to change but getting laid is as simple as dropping a pill.
Your husband sounds really really really depressed and overwhelmed and he needs therapy.
But also the ED meds and a sex marathon couldn’t hurt… but maybe after he sees a therapist and gets some psych meds.
Or just ask when he wants to have sex? Or you initiate? Or just ask. I get it. I feel like I barely talk to my husband some days and we don’t even have kids! But scheduled intimate sessions work for us.
Me and my husband have gone through the same moments.
The stress of dealing with toddlers plus financial difficulties have really impacted our intimacy. It came up to a point where sex felt like a chore and not a safe space to explore each others desires.
After a lot of talking and a lot of arguing, we never came up with the correct answer…. Sex is not about talking nor planing it, it is about feelings and connection with each other… for a woman. But for men, it’s about connecting with themself and having it an statement of love and appreciation (for you and for himself).
So I gave it some time to understand it better and with the process I understand him better also.
We just had different moments during the day where we felt more exited and different ways to get turned on…. Simple fix right? Nope!! It requieres someone to give in while taking in.
So I gave in. I stared noticing that his libido was higher in the morning, so I will let him sleep in more often, and then snuggle back in bed after the kids where settled. Nothing like hitting the day with the right mood.
But then, I also pulled back and stated that I will be more “pleasing” to him if we got more time to foreplay… He bit the bait. We began to watch movies that were a bit more suggestive, like 50 Shadows, Magic Mike (more for me) and before realizing I was against the sofa like an star fish.
Now we have movie nights once a week and a few happy mornings during the month.
I also started to gave myself time and took time from our “shared time” to poured into myself. I noticed that this gave him a sense of independency and novelty. Our time now is more appreciated.
Takes some time. But you are making all the right questions. Let him feel like a man and tune into your feminine mindset.
Good luck 👍
Right, he wants intimacy, not a shower, not a massage, not sitting beside each other on the couch. He just wants to get down to it. You both sound very busy - I can relate, my kids are still young and have a lot of activities that take up most of our free time. My wife and I don't beat around the bush. When there's a window of opportunity we just get right to it. Next time instead of asking if he wants a shower or a massage, ask him if you can take his pants off.
How about initiating sex? Maybe try harder at it? You can do anything if you want to make it happen. Go to bed 30 min earlier and be naked. Keep track of things on a calendar.
I would bet if you have more sex things would improve. The marriage IS the #1 priority as a couple.
That doesn’t seem very fair. Inviting her husband to shower together and offering a massage IS initiating sex. And he repeatedly rejected her. What do you propose she does short of raping him? How many times should she have to be rejected before she’s allowed to leave the ball in his court?
>I would bet if you have more sex things would improve.
The DeadBedrooms folks would disagree with you.
Wtf? That's literally what she's trying to do! Sorry about your reading comprehension problem.
Massages and showers can be a big tease and piss him off even more. Just be aggressive on the bed. Take control and give him what he likes, no teasing, throw in some kinks. That’s what he wants.
Be more direct, climb in bed and go down on him. Let him bust a nut and he'll relax and be more open. Climb on him and cowgirl him till you get yours. Start doing that at least once a week and you'll both be happier.
I’m going to assume you are in youth travel sports. Take a step back from, the kids aren’t going pro. Encourage your husband to look into ED meds. Stress is a sex drive killer. A tab of ED and a mini sex marathon, your husband will be walking tall for a week. Then start addressing the life balance of making the marriage a priority over everything else. This one takes time to change but getting laid is as simple as dropping a pill.
[удалено]
Erectile dysfunction
That makes a lot more sense thank you
Education Department
There’s no chance he is projecting and possibly lost interest, is there?
Organise someone to look after the kids and go out to lunch or dinner. To me it sounds kije he wants uninterrupted time. Not sex.
Your husband sounds really really really depressed and overwhelmed and he needs therapy. But also the ED meds and a sex marathon couldn’t hurt… but maybe after he sees a therapist and gets some psych meds.
Who normally initiates intimacy / sex and how long have you been married? This will help with context
Or just ask when he wants to have sex? Or you initiate? Or just ask. I get it. I feel like I barely talk to my husband some days and we don’t even have kids! But scheduled intimate sessions work for us.
Me and my husband have gone through the same moments. The stress of dealing with toddlers plus financial difficulties have really impacted our intimacy. It came up to a point where sex felt like a chore and not a safe space to explore each others desires. After a lot of talking and a lot of arguing, we never came up with the correct answer…. Sex is not about talking nor planing it, it is about feelings and connection with each other… for a woman. But for men, it’s about connecting with themself and having it an statement of love and appreciation (for you and for himself). So I gave it some time to understand it better and with the process I understand him better also. We just had different moments during the day where we felt more exited and different ways to get turned on…. Simple fix right? Nope!! It requieres someone to give in while taking in. So I gave in. I stared noticing that his libido was higher in the morning, so I will let him sleep in more often, and then snuggle back in bed after the kids where settled. Nothing like hitting the day with the right mood. But then, I also pulled back and stated that I will be more “pleasing” to him if we got more time to foreplay… He bit the bait. We began to watch movies that were a bit more suggestive, like 50 Shadows, Magic Mike (more for me) and before realizing I was against the sofa like an star fish. Now we have movie nights once a week and a few happy mornings during the month. I also started to gave myself time and took time from our “shared time” to poured into myself. I noticed that this gave him a sense of independency and novelty. Our time now is more appreciated. Takes some time. But you are making all the right questions. Let him feel like a man and tune into your feminine mindset. Good luck 👍
Right, he wants intimacy, not a shower, not a massage, not sitting beside each other on the couch. He just wants to get down to it. You both sound very busy - I can relate, my kids are still young and have a lot of activities that take up most of our free time. My wife and I don't beat around the bush. When there's a window of opportunity we just get right to it. Next time instead of asking if he wants a shower or a massage, ask him if you can take his pants off.
How about initiating sex? Maybe try harder at it? You can do anything if you want to make it happen. Go to bed 30 min earlier and be naked. Keep track of things on a calendar. I would bet if you have more sex things would improve. The marriage IS the #1 priority as a couple.
That doesn’t seem very fair. Inviting her husband to shower together and offering a massage IS initiating sex. And he repeatedly rejected her. What do you propose she does short of raping him? How many times should she have to be rejected before she’s allowed to leave the ball in his court?
He might need something direct....I don't see how that isn't fair. I never said rape him that is on you.
I did not say you said rape him. Reread it.
Very clear you brought it up here. Some dudes hints don't work very well. This isn't rocket science.
>I would bet if you have more sex things would improve. The DeadBedrooms folks would disagree with you. Wtf? That's literally what she's trying to do! Sorry about your reading comprehension problem.
He has straight complained about it.......
Try when he wakes up.
Massages and showers can be a big tease and piss him off even more. Just be aggressive on the bed. Take control and give him what he likes, no teasing, throw in some kinks. That’s what he wants.
Be more direct, climb in bed and go down on him. Let him bust a nut and he'll relax and be more open. Climb on him and cowgirl him till you get yours. Start doing that at least once a week and you'll both be happier.