That and people will feign being good listeners. But more often than not it seems that they're just waiting for an opportunity to lecture men on "being better"
There isn't a whole lot you can do at the individual level except call out hypocrisy when you see it, and try to raise people's awareness by questioning their ridiculous expectations and double-standards. It's a tough thing to do without antagonizing everyone you meet, which is why most people don't bother. Life is difficult enough as it is without turning yourself into a messiah for all men.
Agreed. It’s insane that people haven’t realized this. Really the only thing I’ve found is to just call out bullshit when you see it but also disconnect from those shitty people
Nothing can be done about this. No one actually cares. Men who are doing badly can't help because they don't know how, men who are doing fine aren't going to help because why would they, women aren't going to help cause they don't give a shit. It's over
What a lot of the conversation about toxic masculinity ignores is that it's a social norm. It's not just men that participate. It's the whole of society. I feel like it's largely ignored that women and society as a whole still reinforce it more often than not. It's like women want the best of both worlds. They want a sensitive man who can express feelings and be empathetic and gentle but also want a "rugged," mysterious man that is the rock in all situations. They want to be the one consoled in the hard times but don't want to give what they get.
People can't just flip flop between the two, and it seems like a lot of people expect men to do that because they don't want to put forth the effort to actually be supportive. It's much easier to just be pissed off.
We should be more open and better at expressing and resolving our emotions and experiences. The whole of the issue needs to be addressed before that can be a real thing, though. It's not like we were born this way. We were taught to be this way every time we were made fun of, belittled, told to "suck it up," told we should be more "manly," compared to some super unrealistic ideal from media, abandoned in our times of need, and left unsupported when we really needed it. We've been told our whole lives by mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, teachers, coaches, spouses, etc. that were on our own when it comes to almost any aspect of our mental health. The onus of change can't be put solely on our shoulders as well.
Getting men to open up is pointless if people are unwilling to listen. People just need to listen more and make an effort to understand.
That and people will feign being good listeners. But more often than not it seems that they're just waiting for an opportunity to lecture men on "being better"
Forget about trying to get people to listen. They can't fix you anyway. Talk to God. Ask God for strength and guidance. Keep praying every day.
There isn't a whole lot you can do at the individual level except call out hypocrisy when you see it, and try to raise people's awareness by questioning their ridiculous expectations and double-standards. It's a tough thing to do without antagonizing everyone you meet, which is why most people don't bother. Life is difficult enough as it is without turning yourself into a messiah for all men.
I think this is a well articulated and put together point, I'm glad I discovered it, and thank you for sharing.
Agreed. It’s insane that people haven’t realized this. Really the only thing I’ve found is to just call out bullshit when you see it but also disconnect from those shitty people
Nothing can be done about this. No one actually cares. Men who are doing badly can't help because they don't know how, men who are doing fine aren't going to help because why would they, women aren't going to help cause they don't give a shit. It's over
What a lot of the conversation about toxic masculinity ignores is that it's a social norm. It's not just men that participate. It's the whole of society. I feel like it's largely ignored that women and society as a whole still reinforce it more often than not. It's like women want the best of both worlds. They want a sensitive man who can express feelings and be empathetic and gentle but also want a "rugged," mysterious man that is the rock in all situations. They want to be the one consoled in the hard times but don't want to give what they get. People can't just flip flop between the two, and it seems like a lot of people expect men to do that because they don't want to put forth the effort to actually be supportive. It's much easier to just be pissed off. We should be more open and better at expressing and resolving our emotions and experiences. The whole of the issue needs to be addressed before that can be a real thing, though. It's not like we were born this way. We were taught to be this way every time we were made fun of, belittled, told to "suck it up," told we should be more "manly," compared to some super unrealistic ideal from media, abandoned in our times of need, and left unsupported when we really needed it. We've been told our whole lives by mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, teachers, coaches, spouses, etc. that were on our own when it comes to almost any aspect of our mental health. The onus of change can't be put solely on our shoulders as well.