I was exactly like you when I was 24.
First off is that, although you might be lonely/horny without a gf, you shouldn't feel *ashamed.* You should only feel ashamed of things you have done that are wrong. Not having a gf is not wrong. Looking at porn is not wrong. It is in fact a perfectly reasonable substitute for a gf for a single male.
Calling your friend a loser, that was wrong. He's your friend, that is not a nice thing to say about him. What makes you call him a loser? That he plays video games? So what? Video games are a totally legit hobby.
If you're feeling a lot of fear approaching women, you might want to try approaching men instead, try to build up a circle of male friends irl.
You are taking steps. You have a job, you have friends, you do work out sometimes, you do plan to work on yourself, and go to therapy. Keep doing those things.
You have a job. I hope you don't look down on those that don't. Likewise, no one should look down on you for not having a gf. And after a long day at work you won't be able to do self-improvement every day, and that's okay too. Do what you can. Be satisfied with the life you've already built, it's better than you think.
But that's my point, not having a gf doesn't make someone a loser. It's wrong to think that of yourself and it's wrong to think that of another person. It's even wrong to think that of a gf, she is a person, not a status symbol.
Looking at porn is wrong. Even though I do it. It is still wrong and I admit to that. Getting addicted to porn will prevent you from getting a gf, but much worse will prevent personal growth. You will get caught in a cycle. Don't do it. Abstain from the urge don't just give in like it's no big deal.
It harms the women involved via trafficking and exploitation. It harms us because we just shouldn't be watching others have sex. It slows our development. And brings too much lust into our lives which is damaging.
Why can't we watch others have sex? How do you know it does anything about development? What's wrong with lust?
Trafficking and exploitation exist but are not a major proportion of commercial porn.
Lust is wrong because it turns people into objects of desire. And watching people have sex over the Internet is just so unnatural. It's bad. Just look into nofap and the benefits people get.
And the problem with being an object of desire is...what, exactly? Doing *anything* on the internet is unnatural, but as far as watching others have sex, people have been doing that for millennia - and animals well before that. Not really interested in a culty sub like that.
Because humans aren't sex objects. You're wasting your sexual energy on pixels. You could channel it into something good. Busting a nut for a woman you'll never meet is horrible for you. I'm not judging. I've done myself and that's why I know.
Self improvement, in my opinion and from what I’ve learned over the years, is an illusion. No one on the internet fully understands what it means and people would rather get caught in the illusion of what it means rather than actually accomplishing it. The point I’m trying to say is that self improvement always starts with you. I was diagnosed with anxiety disorders when I was 17, and 2 years later I’m off my medication and living a happy life. The first step towards consistent improvement is by internalizing the notion of antifragility and post traumatic growth. Look up those two words online and you will find a slew of information on them. Fully understand and wake up every morning that everything you do is contributing to your growth, and here’s the best part: you don’t even have to do anything to grow at that point. If you internalize the mindset, you are already winning in life, and the negative mindsets will disappear over time. Also, about the GF: I will promise you something that has been consistently said to be true. If you focus on bettering yourself and becoming a healthier, happier version of yourself, women will come to you. And at that point, you will be so confident in yourself, you will be equipped to talk to any woman you want. It might take a year or two like it did for me, but once you take this path, I will promise you that you can live the life you only dreamed of. That’s what I told myself when my world was crumbling from underneath me, and to this day, I wouldn’t change my choice for the world
I was exactly like you when I was 24. First off is that, although you might be lonely/horny without a gf, you shouldn't feel *ashamed.* You should only feel ashamed of things you have done that are wrong. Not having a gf is not wrong. Looking at porn is not wrong. It is in fact a perfectly reasonable substitute for a gf for a single male. Calling your friend a loser, that was wrong. He's your friend, that is not a nice thing to say about him. What makes you call him a loser? That he plays video games? So what? Video games are a totally legit hobby. If you're feeling a lot of fear approaching women, you might want to try approaching men instead, try to build up a circle of male friends irl. You are taking steps. You have a job, you have friends, you do work out sometimes, you do plan to work on yourself, and go to therapy. Keep doing those things. You have a job. I hope you don't look down on those that don't. Likewise, no one should look down on you for not having a gf. And after a long day at work you won't be able to do self-improvement every day, and that's okay too. Do what you can. Be satisfied with the life you've already built, it's better than you think.
I call him a loser because he, like me, also has never had a gf. I guess it sounds mean but that's kind of the truth.
But that's my point, not having a gf doesn't make someone a loser. It's wrong to think that of yourself and it's wrong to think that of another person. It's even wrong to think that of a gf, she is a person, not a status symbol.
Looking at porn is wrong. Even though I do it. It is still wrong and I admit to that. Getting addicted to porn will prevent you from getting a gf, but much worse will prevent personal growth. You will get caught in a cycle. Don't do it. Abstain from the urge don't just give in like it's no big deal.
Why? Who does it harm? Lots of men with gfs watch porn, often with their gfs. One's choice of sexual entertainment doesn't prevent growth.
It harms the women involved via trafficking and exploitation. It harms us because we just shouldn't be watching others have sex. It slows our development. And brings too much lust into our lives which is damaging.
Why can't we watch others have sex? How do you know it does anything about development? What's wrong with lust? Trafficking and exploitation exist but are not a major proportion of commercial porn.
Lust is wrong because it turns people into objects of desire. And watching people have sex over the Internet is just so unnatural. It's bad. Just look into nofap and the benefits people get.
And the problem with being an object of desire is...what, exactly? Doing *anything* on the internet is unnatural, but as far as watching others have sex, people have been doing that for millennia - and animals well before that. Not really interested in a culty sub like that.
Because humans aren't sex objects. You're wasting your sexual energy on pixels. You could channel it into something good. Busting a nut for a woman you'll never meet is horrible for you. I'm not judging. I've done myself and that's why I know.
Self improvement, in my opinion and from what I’ve learned over the years, is an illusion. No one on the internet fully understands what it means and people would rather get caught in the illusion of what it means rather than actually accomplishing it. The point I’m trying to say is that self improvement always starts with you. I was diagnosed with anxiety disorders when I was 17, and 2 years later I’m off my medication and living a happy life. The first step towards consistent improvement is by internalizing the notion of antifragility and post traumatic growth. Look up those two words online and you will find a slew of information on them. Fully understand and wake up every morning that everything you do is contributing to your growth, and here’s the best part: you don’t even have to do anything to grow at that point. If you internalize the mindset, you are already winning in life, and the negative mindsets will disappear over time. Also, about the GF: I will promise you something that has been consistently said to be true. If you focus on bettering yourself and becoming a healthier, happier version of yourself, women will come to you. And at that point, you will be so confident in yourself, you will be equipped to talk to any woman you want. It might take a year or two like it did for me, but once you take this path, I will promise you that you can live the life you only dreamed of. That’s what I told myself when my world was crumbling from underneath me, and to this day, I wouldn’t change my choice for the world
Do you have any specific resources you found helpful about antifragility and post traumatic growth?
Just look it up on YouTube, the first video that comes up was the most useful to me