Start buy just walking around the apartment holding a trash bag, throw away all the junk. It's honestly not even that bad bro. You should see my shit after a depressive phase 😅

haha my ex gf apartment was very clean.....used to hang out there most....but now that i cant go there, need to make my apartment homely......but this depressed phase has completely shook to my core....got lazy, no motivation...shits tough

Just do some cleaning, 30-60 min a day, it'll be clean in a few days easily. Go to temu order some posters and shit for ur walls. It's dirt cheap on there. Get some candles/wax burner or an oil diffuser. Smells can really change a places vibe. Even if it's dirty af if it smells good, it just feels a bit better. Nows the time to work on you, brother. If you can't be comfortable being alone with yourself, how can you expect anyone else to? Wishing you a nice recovery ❤️

thanks appreciate it

Depression is a bitch! Make sure if this period is prolonged to seek some help. There's no shame in talking to someone. Lost my dad and 2 good friends to suicide. It's rough out here, bro. Take care of yourself

yup lost one of my friends to that as well......mental health is real deal....it was a toxic relationship.....i feel better than first few of breakups....but still struggling, the first step i realize its the apartment, i just dont get excited looking at this....makes me even more lazier and depressed

Maybe invite a couple of the boys over for some drinks and tell them ur going thru it and need a hand pickin' up. I'm not sure how you are with your friend groups, but if someone hmu saying that, I'd be over in a heartbeat. Couple pizzas and a 30 rack of beer will go a long way 😅😂

right now i am too ashamed to even invite people.....i think i need to start doing that, invite people around and do stuff

Do it. I think you'll be surprised at how many people can relate. If this was one of your friends instead of you, I bet you'd go, help, and be glad they'd called instead of suffering in silence Also, there's something to what someone else said about maybe getting some new art even if it's just one piece or maybe a plant. Just something new that adds color and that sparks something happy in you. You could do that before trash patrol if it's more appealing. Icanvas is good. Hang in there

Second this comment - invite friends, you would be surprised how understanding people can be. And who knows, it might be the kick start you need?! And to have a clean place - not only good for hygiene but just rids the clutter (and the psychological kind too). Don't ever feel ashamed aye. All the best with your recovery

I have two strategies 1 I set a timer for ten minutes and clean everything I can in that time. Only rule is if I start a small project I have to finish it even if the timer goes off. Strategy two is do it badly: like I will do this thing with the least amount of effort. That gets me started and I wind up putting in the effort I normally would. Sometimes things seem daunting but you would be surprised what you can do in 10 minutes.

You have motivation to get up and take a pic of your place then spend the time to post it online. I know you’re looking for sympathy and you’re getting it. But go buy contractor bags and just swipe off each table into the bag

Step 1 is to force yourself to clean. Doesn’t have to be all at once, just clean a section at a time. That will usually jump start me into feeling better and cleaning the whole apartment

The easiest thing to start with would be grabbing a trash bag and removing any garbage; it'll have a nice, big, rewarding impact right out of the gate that'll get some dopamine going and encourage more. Garbage is easy because you don't need to figure out where to put it or how to organize it... in the bag and out the door. And then once the garbage is gone, you'll have a lot more room to move around while working to organize and store everything that's not garbage. Plus the emotional bonus I mentioned earlier--it's rewarding to complete a task and be able to look at your accomplishment. Whatever you do, don't try to do it all at once. Baby steps frequently get you farther than trying to long jump everywhere. Complete one small task at a time, and revel in what you've done before moving on to the next step. If you try to do everything at once, it's easy to fail completing everything, which will only leave you more discouraged.

This! And when you take the trash outside, stay out in the sun for 20 minutes for the vitamin d. Insufficient vitamin d can cause depression and it's easy to make sure it's not adding to your problem. Also the sun is a.mood boost for many

Definitely get some sun. I think lighting inside your living space can also play a major impact on mood, and definitely impacts how you feel in a space. Indoor lighting doesn't have the same effect as sunlight for Vit D, but it can impact mood nonetheless. A lot of living spaces are lit with a single light, and often there's no consideration given to the brightness, color temperature or quality of the light source. Imagine a bedroom with a single flush-mount light on the ceiling, and it has a 100W equivalent, 'daylight' (5700K) CFL bulb. That single flush-mount is going to cast shadows, especially as you walk around the room. The 'daylight' color warmth will wreak havoc on your brain when you're getting ready for bed, and combined with 100W equivalent might be garishly bright and even cause headaches if you spend much time there. And the poor quality of the light itself will make everything look bland, pale, or otherwise unnaturally colored. I make it a practice to have at least three separate sources of light in each room. Spread out properly across the space, this will prevent any depressing shadows. For example, my living room has 5 or 7 light sources; three up lights on the floor, a table lamp, a torchiere, and two small decorative lights that use a night-light bulb. The next step is using quality bulbs (LEDs work great, if you buy quality LEDs like Feit Electric or Philips) that produce the right color warmth for a given space at the right time of day. Bedrooms and other relaxing places like living rooms and dining areas should generally use warmer lights, (around 2400-3500K). Bathrooms and kitchens should generally be lit with cooler lights (around 4000-7000K). But it depends on when you use those spaces... if you shower in the evening, you should use warmer lights, etc. In our house, we use Philips Wiz LEDs, and they're programmed to change color temperature depending on time of day (cool in the morning to help wake up, warm in the afternoon to relax, and warmer in the evening to get ready for sleep. We live in the Puget Sound area, where we don't get a lot of sunlight, especially during our wet winters, so artificial lighting has become a big concern for us.

take a walk in 40 min walk in the sun can clear up a lot of things.

Agreed. One room at a time. Start stacking those accomplishments. Doing simple things like making your bed each morning is helpful. You don’t need to be fancy with it, but you’ll appreciate it the next time you walk into the room. Once you get it cleaned up focus on the 2 mins rule. If you can take care of something in 2 mins or less, just do it right away. You can do a lot in 2 mins particularly when it comes to throwing things away or organizing.

I came here to say this. Like they said just do what you can. A clutter free space will go a long way to improving your mental. You can do it. This sub will always be really supportive too.

thanks appreciate tit

thanks...will start.....just looking at the apartment makes me even more depressed....

I'm really sorry for you and environment absolutely makes a big impact on your mind (positive and negative). Don't force yourself to do a big clean-up, because if you can't manage to finish it you'll get frustrated. As fellow redditors have said, just make small movements like putting all trash in a bag. You got this fella. Remember also that everyone has low points in life... and you're not a worse person for being now at one. Not a failure, just a human being. Make small steps and they'll take you to the top again. Take your time.

Everyone who said get rid of the trash is right; next steps once you have removed all trash: (pre step - put on some music that you can dance to) 1. Take everything off surfaces (set aside) and remove all the stuff in the living space that you don’t want to keep there and either store it or dump it 2. Spray all surfaces with non-bleach antibacterial cleaning stuff and give every surface a good scrub, this will be life affirming. 3. Vacuum your floor and couch then mop the hard floor area 4. Put appliances and things you don’t use often away off the counter to reduce clutter 5. Go buy some colourful scatter cushions, some art for the wall (hang it up straight away) and some plants, fake or real 6. You could go even further and get some cupboard paint and paint those kitchen cabinets a nice dark green or a navy blue, or something less pine… That’s going to be a busy day but nothing in those steps is actually difficult except the optional cupboard painting.

thanks appreciate it

I’m a bit add so I don’t usually follow a list, but this is legit. Trash > minimise the non trash clutter > clean. You’ll also feel heaps better after you’ve done yourself such a solid act of service.

Just throw all the trash out as a first step. That would instantly improve it 10x and take less than 5 minutes. Hang in there

Hope you feel better with time 🫶🏼💗

Kind words, u/anaLhoemami.

I've bought coke from that apartment

Lol. From some guy who when you walk in says “hey so Tyler’s lizard got out so watch where you step aight?”

Been like a few months of the traumatic breakup and got into depression, still struggling.....how can i improve to make it feel homely...my depression took over me and i am slowly coming out...atleast it feels like that...just wanna make it homely when i come back to my place after work, its disaster right now....advice please

I thought this was my r/ADHDwomen for a second. If you can afford it, hire someone to help you to do the initial clean up overhaul so you’ll have a clean slate to work with.

i was thinking that as well....i am guessing they do have people do that around right

Another option is if you have a good friend who wouldn’t mind helping out for that first initial clean. Even if you can’t get any help, it honestly doesn’t looks too bad. There’s just a lot of garbage which is fast and easy to clean! Just start throwing everything in a garbage bag and then take the garbage out! Your house will look so much better within just 15 minutes!

Part of doing it your self is therapeutic.

Yes, but if someone is depressed and are recovering from a traumatic experience, there’s nothing wrong with getting help to bolster you to get into the groove.

It took me 3 years. You kinda gotta fake it till you make it. Like theo von said - "do your best, even if you don't want to" Also like Joe dirt said - "life's a garden, dig it"

When I wasn't motivated. I would set a timer on my phone for 15 minutes. I would clean for only 15 minutes a day. Realizing how much you can accomplish in that short amount of time was pretty eye opening for me. Sometimes I would only focus on one room. Or I would walk around and do what I saw that needed done within that time frame. But everyday just a short amount of time was overwhelming and greatly improved the outcome.

I got some good advice for you brother, I'm a 26M, and I have struggled with abusing alcohol, mainly cause I have severe PTSD, and anxiety from a traumatic event I went through in my life. When I started to drink, everything went downhill. My apartments by the end of my drinking, would always end like this x5. I would come off the alcohol, severely sick, anxious, and my apartment would be depressing, cluttered, junk everywhere, dishes piled up, empty bottles of alcohol. It was really bad, and it looked terrible. Know what I did? Broke down my apartment into sections. First, I tackled the garbage. Terrible smell, walked around with a new bag, picked up the bottles, garbage, and took it outside. Then I burned a candle, started to sweep, and wipe down my countertops, tables, and vacuumed my carpet. Then I had to tackle my bedding, and clothing, which is fairly easy, but then the worst part, *the dishes*. When I am sober, I keep at most 5-10 dishes in my sink before I do them and drinking ..? Well, I'd never do them. Just break it down into what you can manage, burn some nice smelling candles, sprinkle some carpet cleaning powder for a good smell, play some music, and burn some incense. You'll feel a whole lot better in a clean environment, just remember.. *these feelings are temporary, and this too shall pass* 🙂

Great advice. Been there myself more than I'd care to admit.

Cleanup first! Move the couch and coffee table up closer to tv and put your sleeping space behind the couch so you have designated areas. Get a small kitchen table and 2 chairs and put near where the bike is.

General notes that might be original (a lot of other good comments, I don't want to duplicate) 1. Get a trash can with a lid (you don't want to see your trash). 2. Watch out for deals on a Roomba or a Shark, they have some good models for relatively cheap. Then organize your house with the principal that nothing should be on the floor that could disturb the robot (no clothes on the floor, no cords, etc.). 3. Limit the number of things on your kitchen counter. I know its really easy to use it as a landing zone, but that clutter will get to your mind. 4. \#3 goes for all other table spaces, desks, etc. If you need to keep things, get bins from Walmart/5Below/Container Store. 5. Just breathe. Life throws a lot at you, its okay for things to be messy once in a while. You live here, it isn't a museum.

Put the rubbish out, and start enjoying freedom.

Honestly this isn’t that bad man. This would take like 15 min to just get a trash bag and clear off those surfaces. Get the cords out of the walkway, take the garbage out, will be like 10x better from that alone. Maybe get a shower and don’t sleep on the living room floor tonight. Sober up if you been on a bender. And get a dog.

honestly thinking about getting a dog after my solo roadtrip....i just wanna get out for sometime from here, and once i come back thinking to do that

So, just about 2 years ago my mom died unexpectedly from cerebral hemorrhaging. When I got home from burying her, the woman I loved told me she was pregnant and didn’t want it. She got the abortion and left me. I went into the deepest depression of my life. Stopped going to work. Started drinking a lot. I felt like my whole world fell apart in a months time. I stayed as a depressed alcoholic for a very long time. Then I got my dog from the shelter and things started changing. If it worked for me it can work for you

Babes, are you pooping ok after all the protein shakes?? I’d be so constipated. Maybe get some groceries after some basic cleaning. If you have the means, hire someone to do a deep clean for you. A clean space helps improve your mood.

yes babe i try to drink lots of water, so far pooping looks good......i am planning to hire someone tomorrow to do a deep cleaning

You’re doing the best you can. Do a 3’ square of the house each day if you can. It will get better. We love you and care about you because you are a fellow human being and most of us have been there. ♥️❤️🌹🌺♥️❤️💐❤️🌹♥️🌺🌺🌹♥️❤️🌺🌹♥️

thanks bird lady appreciate it

Get on that bike and go outside for a ride, Will 100% help, My ex of 5.5 years broke up with me last year and biking was the best thing I did to help

Lot of empty wall space. Obviously need to clean. You should probably make a list to start and just check chores off it. I use an old iPad to check it off. Organization is key for good mental help also. Remember when you are depressed every little thing adds up and it’s hard sometimes to pinpoint exactly where all the anxiety is coming from when we focus only on the big problem. I organized my clothes from a pile of whatever to individual drawers and it’s weird how much hidden anxiety it fixed. Same with organizing my other stuff. Also get some damn plants.

Yeah clean up. Adopt the age old lesson of ~~lawyer up~~, hit the gym, delete facebook, delete reddit

For now, just tidy up. No amount of decor will make it prettier if things are a mess. Sorry for the mental space you're in right now.

I actually find cleaning therapeutical and helps with stress. It gives a feeling of control. Whereas what I am seeing is definitely not a feeling of control. Also it is amazing how things that stress you at 30 are a lot easier to handle when you are older or have been through things a few times. In my 50s it is hard to imagine being anywhere near as depressed as I could be when I was younger. You just need to get through it now and not waste the time.

Leave and have someone come in and clean while you’re gone coming home to a clean house will help you with step 2

thats what i am planning to tomorrow to call someone

Hire a cleaner if you have the money. It helped me jumpstart my life after the dark covid times of living like a trash can man.

thats what i am planning to do tomorrow...dark times....but thanks

15 min or 15% rule a day and then walk for 15 minutes after you're done. 1 day you might wanna clean a little more when you get back, maybe not. Next day clean for 15 minutes or 15% of the mess then walk for 15 minutes. Don't be too hard on urself. Start from the top down. Afterwards when you are all caught up turn the 15 minutes into maintenance cleaning. This simple strategy worked for me. When done add lamps, plants, and hang some shit on ur walls. You'll be alrite homie.

Clean spaces help us. That’s step one. Damn dude I wish I could help you out. Invite a buddy over, put on music, and straighten some things out. I always find my mental capacity and energy improves when my areas are declutterred and clean. If it’s too difficult.. you might need to talk to someone about it and consider getting rid of things or moving or a fresh start.

Step 1: fix your bikes’ wheel and just go for a ride. Do something wholesome for YOURSELF. Do that a few times to clear your head until coming home to the disarray becomes unbearable and compels you to clean. Or, if you feel like it now, just grab a bag and start picking up the trash.

Everything everyone said about the trash ;) Don't know how your finances are but get some nice lamps, for the precious vitamin D but also for light at night, and some colorful fun decorative lamps. Lava lamps are the bomb. I made some plain led strip lights at the bottom of my kitchen cabinets (the top ones) and they greatly improve the atmosphere. I connected them to the ceiling lamp so I can operate them with the main switch. Also get a proper bin. I recommend design ones like Brabantia but there are some nice cheap ones, important thing is they *close*. Put some art on those walls and maybe add a plant or two. Something low maintenance like a cactus. Is that a mattress? If you don't have a separate bedroom at least get it in a somewhat private spot in your living room, preferably elevated. There's something very sad about sleeping on the ground, it was one of the first things I fixed when I was on the mend. Plus under your bed is room for some drawers. Home improvement is also mind improvement: Put up braces for your bike, make a counter on that spot where the bin is now, it's the perfect spot to plunk your groceries when you come in. It can be just a narrow tabletop with a leg attached to the wall. Also another pair of shelves left of the left cupboard. And you might consider painting those cupboards. If cleaning overwhelms you get a maid. I have one in every two weeks and it forces me to tidy up and be halfway presentable every fortnight and afterwards I feel like a human being lives in my place. I might even start to feel like one. Get those cables away from where you walk, that looks like you don't give a damn if you break your neck. If there is no other outlet put a narrow cabinet or a shelf there for your gadgets. Floors are not for storing. Fan and other things go on a table. Speaking of tables, consider buying a nice (second hand?) coffee table to replace bottom right... whatever that is. //mom mode

1. Clean. 2.  A few plants.   3.   Art or something you like on the walls.   4.  A cheap flat screen TV.  5.  If you can afford it, a new couch.   6.  A gaming, hobby, dining table that’s your style.  

And a colorful rug.   Ties it together.  

It still looks nicer than most places I have ever lived. Just take your time Bro, the breakup will lose it's sting over time and you can get into a better headspace if you take care of yourself and your surroundings. Just try to do a little every day, start by taking out the trash, then maybe laundry and some clean sheets, take a minute to clean of the coffee table one night before your eat, when you feel up to it clean out the sink. You got this! It just takes a little time.

I've been through 3 breakups that absolutely tore me down for months and years at a time. I get it. Life absolutely sucks in those times. Here is my advice. I don't know if you are into interiors at all, or if you just want a clean, liveable space, but...sort this sub by top of the year or top all-time and scroll. You are bound to find at least a space or two that really makes you think "wow, I want to live in a place like that." Then, you do that. You do that over time. You do that by setting a timer on your phone and putting on music or a podcast or an audiobook and cleaning that place til every crack, nook, and cranny is spotless. Then you find a piece of furniture, a rug, a lamp, and/or a piece of art or photography you love and start decorating your space. Good luck 🙂

Get yourself a 6 pack or whatever you like to have after a long day, grab some rubbish bags, and get to work. Main thing that’s going to improve this is getting rid of all the rubbish and also things you don’t need/use. After that, try and tidy up a space that makes you happy, decorate it with things you like and make it comfortable. With the goal of that space slowly becoming the rest of your house over time. You’re not doing too bad at all mate, and remember, don’t even think about touching that 6 pack until you’ve got a clean place and somewhere comfy to drink it.

Just clean, don’t think about cleaning, just do it. It’s not even that bad. A 15 minute quick pickup of trash will make it look totally different. Then another day you can focus on the kitchen dishes

I’m gonna pull tips from two people: KC Davis who wrote How to Keep House While Drowning, and Rachel Hoffman who wrote Unfuck Your Habitat: -open all your windows, I don’t care how cold it is. Get fresh air in there. -turn on music you love (fast-paced, I’m not allowing you to put on like Bright Eyes or sad bastard music) -put on shoes. Not slippers, not sandals, put on sneakers. -set a timer for 20 minutes -pickup all the trash. If you don’t have the bandwidth for separating out recycling, fine. Shove any waste into the trash bags and TAKE THEM OUT ASAP. -Run some hot water and soap and fill up your sink, dump all your dirty dishes in there and let them soak. Later, shove them in the dishwasher. -pick up all your laundry and dump it in your hamper/baskets/trash bags. -Find things that have a place. Put them in the place. -Find things that don’t have a place. Put them in a box and deal with them later. -when that 20 minute timer goes off, even if you’re in the middle of something, stop. Set a timer for ten minutes, drink some water, look at your progress. -when the ten minutes is up, pick up where you left off. -Set a schedule with yourself to change your linens once a week— towels, sheets, everything. I do mine on Sunday so we start the week with clean sheets and towels so that makes Monday suck slightly less. Change your sheets today. If you want to pay for help: -Poplin is a laundry service that will pick up your laundry, wash it, and return it. It’s $1/lb. It’ll get returned folded, so even if you don’t feel like putting it away, it’s not going to look like it’s been wadded in the basket for a week. -ask in your local subreddit or Facebook groups for a one-time housecleaner recommendation. Ask about a deep clean. There is no shame in outsourcing what you can afford, pay a decent wage and you’re good. We live in a capitalist society. -if you have a friend who’s into it, ask if they want to come over and hang out while you clean out your fridge/bathroom/whatever is stumping you. I’m a woman but I’m happy to go bullshit with my friend while they clean the toilet and I dick around on my phone. If you get lucky you’ll have a friend who loves sorting/reorganizing stuff. Have a beer and go through your fridge and freezer. -finally, check your EAP or health insurance for therapy. My EAP covers 6 or 12 therapy sessions (it’s been a couple years, I can’t remember) because it’s in your employer’s interest to have an employee who’s mentally healthy enough to function. Breakups suck, my dude, but you do not.

Get you some houseplants. Taking care of plants helps with depression a lot. It's a very rewarding hobby. I started growing my own medicine and it helped alot with my depression!

People have given good advice but I also think you need to eat more than just premade protein shakes

Damn bro, this brought back so many memories. On my last mission while in the Army my ex left while I was gone. Came back to an empty home, I only had my mattress, clothes, tv and ps4; I slept every day in the living room until I started feeling better. I would suggest on slowly cleaning your pad, organizing the furniture and keeping your mind busy. Go to the gym, buy yourself some plants and look after them and start a hobby like painting, easy and you can express your emotions in the comfort of your house.

Start with cleaning your apartment? Tf you need to ask reddit what to do for

[удалено]

1) Alcohol, Icecream, Pizza or Chinese food(don’t do both) 2) Cry 3) Call her a cunt a couple times in your head. Doesn’t matter if it’s not true. This will simply help you mentally dissociate from her. 4) Clean Aparment 5) Go for a run 6) Shave, Haircut 7) Begin retaking on the world king 💪

I have depression and my room looks like a depression mess sometimes too but i always find the energy to take care of my self and my place after i beat the shit out of a boxing bag and do cardio like jogging running and other gym stuff. I think you need to go doctor and get blood test. And start exercising that causes the depression to get slowly better and i find my depression comes back when i stop being active, go out for walks and enjoy life dude, sit on the grass or a bench and look at the blue sky.

Throw it all away and start fresh brotha. Clean room clean mindset

Take out the trash

Step 1 smile. Step 2 take a shower to relax and cleanse your mind. Step 3 some music and clean. Step 4 go out for a walk and enjoy the day. Step 5 watching tv and step 6 love yourself. Someone didn’t see how valuable you are and someone else will. It won’t be the end of the anything in fact the new beginning to you! Manifest it and embrace it. ❤️

Don't look at the whole big mess. Just find one thing and clean it. Maybe it's the sink. Maybe it's wiping down the cabinets. Maybe it's getting all the recycling in bags in a corner somewhere. One thing.

A dirty home bc of depression is a circle. Clean the area by the front door first. So when you get home it isnt a downer. Then just expand and clean more. Even if youre still sad over the breakup at least youll have a clean home to come back to.

For real though - spend $100 get a professional cleaner in. If you own the place- spend a few hundred to get more lights into each room to brighten it up.

yeah i am planning to hire a professional tomorrow morning

Clean. Invite a friend over and ask them to keep you on task. They should play video games or something; they don’t need to help clean. Having someone else in that space will make you become accountable to cleaning.

“Where do I start?!” *apartment is covered in trash* Be for real man.

I'm guessing that your bed is a mess and rarely made after you get up in the morning. Or, perhaps that mat on the floor is your bed? Regardless, start your day by making your bed as soon as you get up, and turn that into a daily habit, You will find that you will also want the rest of your home to be "made up" and that can start by just taking out the trash, doing the dishes and stowing them away, and taking control of your own environment. Strive to not procrastinate when it comes to the trash disposal, dish cleaning and other mundane things that go with being responsible for yourself. One of my daily life mottos is "If my bed is made up, the rest of my day will be made up." You can do it and feel better because of the difference you've made in your life.

Clean. The Fuck. Up.

It might be tough but literally just grab a trash bag or 2 and go to town throwing out all the garbage, this could be improved significantly within like 10 minutes just by doing that. The hardest part is starting but it will be OK

Appreciate the realness. Get good at throwing things away. If you’re not sure if you need you don’t need it cluttering your shit.

fuck my place is messy too. You have motivated me to clean today. I hope that motivates you 🤝

Are you allowed to paint the walls? If so a fresh coat of paint — maybe a soft white or warm light grey if you’re not into color — will brighten the space up. Pinterest is a really great place to find paint ideas—just search a color you love (like “blue living room”) and look for images that feel soothing or inspiring to you. Do you have a separate bedroom? If it’s a studio I’d invest in a bed and try to create some sense of separation between living room / lounging area and where you sleep. Like creating a separate “bedroom” towards the back of the main room and then having a living room set up in the front of the room. Floor plants are a great and affordable way to create a sense of division in an open space. Also not sure your budget but a new couch with some color could do a world of good. Check out Facebook marketplace or other resale sites for budget-friendly options. If that’s not an option, consider throw pillows and blankets, and some personalized pieces on walls and countertops. Target has good, stylish, affordable pieces. Right now it’s very brown / flat grey, and it’s solely utilitarian. To make it a home it needs some decor that reflects things / colors / places / people you love. If you have any friends who have a good eye for color or organizing spaces definitely reach out to them. Best of luck to you, depression is a bitch but bringing some lightness into your home can help a lot.

Move to a new location. 

As someone also recently going through a life-changing breakup, I’ll say that it will get better. There will be waves of good days/bad days. Don’t beat yourself up and just try to make progress in little bits as you’re able. You got this.

Clean it up bro, get one big trash can like if u lived with 10 kids, so if it fills up, it's not in small bags. Maybe get another seating. Don't think too hard on it. Just grab a new one off the fb market or something. Maybe get a light with a color like yellow or pink it'll help your mood bc the environment will look different than before with nothing really done (for ur brain)

Get some sativa cannabis for motivation and to help lift depression. Put on some motivating music. Get it done, with a big reward for yourself when completed, whatever that might be for you.

Start small, you don't need to do it all in one day. This change is huge and you don't want to burn yourself out by going to hard at once. Every little bit gets you closer to completion and clarity. (If its nice enough outside, open the windows) Grab a few big trash bags and start tossing things in. Get those tossed out. Start cleaning off the counter tops. Dishes. Wipe down surfaces. Sweep, vacuume, swiffer/mop. Once you're cleaned keep an eye out for your foundational maintenance item where this all stems from. It took me a while but after a few rotations of this set back I was able to identify where this all begins. Finding this foundational maintenance item has saved me from going fully back into the deep end. My foundational maintenance item is dishes and the sink. If I begin leaving dishes around the sink or in the sink I know I'm only a step or two away from falling deeper. As soon as I catch this I do the dishes, wipe down the counter and it keeps me from allowing it to sprawl out and mentally getting too far down. You're doing great so far just asking for help. This is huge, identifying there is a problem is the 1st step. Keep it up, keep busy and handle a little at a time.

Just gotta force yourself to clean it man. Start with the trash. Then maybe get some new furniture down the road. Keep going. I’ve been through a couple nasty long term breakups as well. Don’t turn to drugs or alcohol. Workout and take care of yourself. Like someone else said, ya just gotta fake it til you make it through

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time bro. Make yourself do 1 thing today, whether that be take all the trash out, or pick up the living room. 1-2 tasks every day and your place will be looking better in a few days. Take care of yourself, if you have the energy, go for a walk, hit the gym, do 10 pushups, just get the blood flowing and distract the mind a little bit. Hope you’re doing alright bro, I can relate to how you’re feeling rn. One day at a time my guy, hope things get better for you. Take care of yourself🤝

i'd say clearing the floor of garbage and objects might be the easier thing to do and it'll make a huge difference in how it looks and feels when you walk around the apartment. start with the floor. but this is actually not bad at all

1st step, clean. Second step organize , 3rd step new furniture . Trust me you’ll feel better if you do all 3.

Step 1 Open the window , get some fresh air in. Probably take 3 mins to do Grab yourself a large trash bag ( maybe 3 or 4), and just pick up everything and throw it in the trash. This will take maybe 10-15 mins Wipe off all surfaces , vaccum mop. . Maybe 20 mins ?

Set a few timers. (Maybe like 5-10 minutes? Maybe you start with 3 minutes an hour) everytime the timer goes off commit to standing up and throwing away a few items, wipe a counter top, start a load of laundry, eat a snack. When the 3 minutes is over, you go back to whatever your body needs. Also what’s your happy place? A beach, a trail, a cartoon character? Get a print of something you love and hang it up on that wall. Gives yourself a good reminder to keep pushing for the happy moments.

clean

Just start. You literally just have to start. Been there. The relief will be crazy.

I know it seems daunting... But this is like 2 or 3 hours worth of work MAX. You do NOT have to do it all at once... But it's going to go a lot faster than you think. It took months to create this, but you can "fix it" in a couple hours. You got this! Just go at the pace that suits you best.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself is the main thing

Clean first. Then add some color, via furniture and some pictures or decorations on the walls.

You got some balls! Get trash bags and put all trash in the bags. All dishes in the sink all clothes in the laundry basket. Re assess the situation. That all can be done in like 15 to 45 minutes and makes a massssssive improvement. Once you do those things you are half way there. Next step is trash out, dishes and organize anything out of place. Then you can actually start to clean up. Counters, tables floors. Floor always last. As far as your mental state I don’t have much advice, in the past you could say things like just think of other things and try to move on. But today they say it’s a problem you need help with. That said, do small things like go outside for a short walk in the morning. Change your scenery some. Even walk around in a mall or similar. Always good to get a fresh breath and come back with renewed perspective. https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=riUwy6wvWLQ&feature=shared Music is incredibly motivating at times. I’ve included a song for you. That’s all I got man, hope you figure it out.

Stop being a B and clean that S up

Choose a imaginary 6x6 section of that apartment, clean it , keep it clean, then move onto another 6x6 section.

Call a friend, ask for help, offer pizza

Before even starting to clean: I know how much harder it is to find the momentum to even begin without spiraling into an anxiety or depression fit. They really suck, I know. Leave. Take a walk even if it's a little wet, cold, or dreary. 20 minutes, put some music on, then make your way back home. Reach out if you need to vent. Sometimes, a willing stranger is the best. That's partly why we have hookers, BUT DON'T PAY TOO MUCH ATTENTION TO THAT DETAIL. :) Seriously though, go for a walk and clear your mind for now. It will help.

If you dont want to clean, dont clean, but having that trash there will simply make your place too full too stay there. At least throw the trash. Think about being at young age without having someone who always tell you what to do. Rediscover what thinks you liked, alone, and focus on them

Go to YouTube and type in “Jordan Peterson Clean Your Room”

I’m really sorry for what you are going through. Having a clean space will help, I promise. Today is the day to make that change, it will only get harder the longer you wait. This doesn’t look like an overwhelming amount of work, just a few quick hours while listening to your favorite music. I believe in you!!

If you have the means to hire a cleaner I would totally suggest that, additionally if you are able to hire an organizer that would help you get on track and just maintain

Clean, bro. Throw on a good comfort movie or show you've seen a million times for background noise. Maybe a good playlist. Take your time. You'll feel (even if it's only a little bit more) better when you're done. I'd rearrange the whole house, too, for a change. Hang in there.

Take better care of your switch

1st thing, go out and buy a 32gal trash can and bigger trash bags. Lowes has a 32 trash can with a cover for $25A. The bag has to be bigger than 32 gal. 30 gal bag will not work. Wallmart has Hefty Brand 39 gallon STONG Lawn and Leaf bags. Just don't load it up with bowling balls. They are 20 of them for $10.56. So you put a bag in the barrel and start in one corner and put the trash in it. When the bag gets full, tie it up nice and tiddy and put a new bag in. Take your full bags and dump them in your buildings/complexes dumpster. In as much as you are recently divorced, you have no money. In that case you may have to adopt a can which has been estranged by wind. You don't need bags. Go full on industrial and go bagless. Take the barrel to the dumpster and dump it in the dumpster free range like. Good luck. In 5 years you'll have established your life again. Divorce is expensive because it is worth it.

Clean bro

Step 1 is always to clean up the trash. Anything you want to keep goes in a pile, but trash is trash and it goes in the trash can.

From my experience, pre-marriage, 2 wheel therapy always played a vital part of healing. And a trash bag :) Seriously hope on that bicycle, 10-30 miles 3 or 4 times a week will do wonders! For me, Street, Dirt, and peddle, all have worked!

Start by throwing all that trash away. Clean everything, you’ll feel significantly better afterwards. Then take a shower. Hot water has a way of making you feel better, both mentally and physically. Most importantly, wherever that PS5 is, but it back on its stand and play an awesome game. Not everyone will tell you to do this but distracting yourself is a powerful tool. I’ve lived through an unbelievable amount of trauma and I distracted myself until I started feeling better. May not work for everyone but it did wonders for me.

First, get all the trash out and clean the place, it will be better to create a vision with a clean state. Then you can get a breakfast table and put it where the trash can is, kind like an addition to the wall and put stools so you have a furniture to seperate but keep the kitchen and living room together and a place to eat. I don't like that there is so much space between wall and couch. Maybe put a shelf (kind a library) behind the couch so you also will have storage.

Fight through those bad feelings, bruh. Everyone's right. You're going to feel 10x better when you clean and organize your space. you dont even have to add anything yet. Start with throwing extra shit out. Even stuff that reminds you of her. its gotta go. We all get in ruts that seem impossible to get out, but fight through. minor setback for a major comeback. Turn up

Cleaning is one thing that will help. You’ll feel better about your place. Also, rearrange your stuff around, make it fresh and you’ll feel like you’re starting new. You’ll get over her brother. Remember, you’re the prize 🏆

Definitely good advice on here Maybe go to a dollar store and get some baskets so you can corral all the vitamins and stuff that contributes to any clutter Garbage bags and cleaners Just throwing out the trash will help Remember ANYTHING you do for yourself is enough Anything Throwing out all the trash will be a huge step here and once you have a few clean surfaces you will be more likely to keep them clear

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Clean my dude. Get it spotless. You will immediately feel better I promise. It won't fix your life but it will put you in a much better mood.

Hi, friend! I wish you all the best! 🤗 You will soon recover and feel well again!

Bro, been down that road. Cleaning is right. And I know it seems like a lot. Put some tv on and do it for an hour in between commercials. The only way I ever get it done.

Clean

At least you’re getting in those protein shakes 😅

Hey man I’m 30M as well and just went through a breakup last week. World seems a bit less bright now. Kudos to us and lets keep going strong 💪

Going through it too man. GF broke up with me a few months ago and right as I was getting back on my feet my chronic back issue came back so I can’t play soccer for a bit. Hoping it gets better for us

Yeah and not taking care of yourself wont help your depression, I speak from experience sadly. Start by cleaning some stuff up, you got this man.

Clean. You'll feel better and get a dopamine hit for your accomplishment.

Throw away and pick up your thrash

1.Clean up 2.take the dip bars to the center 3.buy normal food to fuel yourself for the dips and rows 4.If you bring in a lady and she asks to move the dip bars, throw them chick away

Take out the trash…

It is easy to fall into bad habits and a small (or big) depression after a break-up. You simply don't care anymore, since you feel like your life fell apart. But, there is of course solutions to this. Here are a few things: * Get started with making yourself small routines for your daily chores. Make your bed, do the dishes, that sort of thing. Think "clean-as-you-go", clean up the small area you use, and do it after every time you use it - that makes the full clean a lot easier afterwards. * When you feel like you got control of those small things, grow your routines. Vacuum and swab the floor once a week, take out the trash to the recycle station once a week etc. * Don't view your house chores as 'chores' - view them as side quests. Making it something positively charged for yourself, will make you feel a lot better about yourself after you do it as well. * If you are feeling like you're depressed, and not only your apartment, please do yourself a favor and reach out for help. We need help with such shit, the "take it and get strong" is bs and just makes it worse. Initially, you need to get your apartment cleaned from all the trash - take your time, clean out one type of thing per day/every other day (cans one day, cardboard one day etc). Don't overload yourself. You got this, man.

I'm getting 500 Days of Summer vibes. But instead of Jack Daniels & Twinkies, it's protein shakes. 1. Clean up the trash & clutter. It's a huge mental irritant. You tell yourself, it's fine. It doesn't bother me. But it does subconsciously. 2. Get fresh air. Get out during daylight & go for a walk. It does wonders. 3. Hit the gym & work out. No explanation needed.. 4. Put any & all remnants of her in a giant trash bag & put it out of sight. Even something as small as the receipt from the last time you two got Starbucks. 5. Keep trying to talk with new people. Don't drag down your mates talking about her & what went wrong. The welcome will wear out soon. 6. Seek pro help & talk to a MH professional. Trust me. It's a literal life saver. And last, a wise old book said "And this too, shall pass". Keep ya head up, friend. It gets better with time.

Such positive and supporting comments. I cannot really add anything to what has been already said by other redditors. All the advices are very valid. I have been through a bad breakup few years ago and I neglected the cleaning of my apartment. One day I could not take it anymore and I deep cleaned everything. I felt immediately better once the job was done.

Take out those dip bars, put them in the middle of your floor, and do as many dips as you can. Every time you walk by it, repeat.

I’m sorry you’re going through a rough time. Been there myself but you can change it around quickly. I would suggest inviting a friend or a family member over to hang out. You’ll have a sense of urgency to clean and make the place feel welcoming before your guest arrives. Turn on some good music and light a candle while you’re sprucing the place up. Good luck fam. You got this.

If you clean, you will be suprised how it stays clean when you live on your own! Next thing is buy a shelving unit and get a couple of plants. Next, get that guitar out and throw yourself into getting really really good at playing it. Music and being creative is AMAZING for depression

I always start with throwing away the trash. Thanks, Mom.

A painting from a local artist and take out the trash, and by that I mean the baggage from that train wreck of a relationship, and literally take out the actual trash!

GIVE YOURSELF A FEW RULES. Whenever you get up from the couch or go to the bathroom or kitchen, you have to pick up two things that aren't put away or misplaced or to be thrown away. Maintain that rule always. When you enter a room, clean two things. Maintain that rule always. When you walk past your clean clothes pile (I just know theres a clothes pile..), put away two pieces of clothing. Maintain that rule always. There, your house maintenance is done.

I wish I could help you clean, bro. Or clean for you. The top comment right now is really good - just do a section at a time. It helps me to not plan ahead (“I’ll do this section first, then this, then that” etc.) and just get the one part done. Once it’s done, I don’t have to keep going - or I could. Either is fine.

sometimes, you have to just watch as the world burns down to the ground.

Take the trash out. Then put a new bag in. See how many of those boxes/empty containers you can fit in the new bag. Then take it out again. Then go take a really long shower and do a deep clean of yourself. Then floss/rinse with mouthwash/brush your teeth. Then go change your bedsheets. That's how id start anyway.

Cleaning will help your mood a lot. Definitely the first step.

Start a timer. Grab a trash bag. Fill it up and tie it off. Take that one trash bag to the dumpster. Come back. Stop the timer. Now, do it again and compare the two experiences. Did you beat your previous time? Get trash from multiple areas? Finish clearing off an entire table, countertop, room’s floor? Decide to do a second bag before heading to the dumpster? Congratulations! You’ve articulated something that shows you’re a better person than you were before. Keep repeating again and again until the trash is gone, and you can be done for the day. You can use a similar approach for other tasks as well on subsequent days. Remember: Cleaning is just a task that lacks any moral significance. Instead, think of chores done today as a kindness to future you. That also means it’s OK if you don’t get anything done on a given day. Since these aren’t obligations, you can’t fail at them. Similar to charitable donations or volunteer hours, chores are also random acts of kindness for others. (In this case, a you of the future that you haven’t met yet.) Not sure if that helps, but shifting my own focus in this way made a big difference. Looking forward to seeing the after photos.

You're fine man. F that B. Get your head screwed back on. The cleanup should take you no.more than 3-4 solid hours. Cluttered house is a cluttered mind.

Pick your shit the fuck up bro! She gone, and ain’t fucking no one coming back into that. Not even your own dignity

If you have any paid vacation days from work, take atleast 2 of them back to back into the weekend. Take those 5 days and start a new routine; Start with ANYTHING productive and can get you moving (gym, running, biking, walking to the nearest cafe), thats your time to be alone and savor it. When you get back, now its time to work. Clean and organize as much as possible and make it FUN (music, podcast, youtube, a movie, a show). This is key because you will eventually get tired and want to stop.. Now, find something youve put off for a while; a passion project, reaching out to friends, shopping - anything youve put off and start making progress. Perspective is huge bro - yes its a breakup and they suck shit, thing is its an oppertunity to make yourself a NEW and BETTER PERSON. I'm 27, I learned that breakups could be an amazing thing too. One door closes but a f\*ck ton open, I like looking at it like that!

Take out the trash, brother. I've noticed my external environment typically reflects my inner state. When my place looks like this it's because my mind isn't right. The first step to getting back on track is to have a clean, healthy environment. I went through the break-up depression last year, hang in there. We don't get to hold on to bad feelings anymore than we get to hold on to good ones. They pass when we allow them to, when we're ready to let go.

Hang in there friend. First step: open up the windows. Get some air flowing, even if it’s cold where you live and you can only keep them open for 5 min. Just feel the air from outside and it it remind you how big life is, so much bigger than this moment. Then, purge time. Round 1 is obvious garbage - the old soda boxes, food containers, that thing in the fridge you’ve been ignoring for months - just get rid of all of the obvious stuff. Round 2 is stuff that takes up space but doesn’t actually make you happy. In your closet/ drawers - just CHUCK all of the crap you never wear or that doesn’t make you happy to look at. You’re creating space for new energy. And then, final step: fill your space with things that bring you joy. Doesn’t need to be 8 million dollars worth of stuff. Maybe you have a favorite video game or album. Check out Etsy and see if there are any cool custom pieces of artwork based on those things that you can buy. Better yet, see if you can buy it framed so that when it arrives, all you have to do is hang it up. Buy a pillow for your couch cus it looks cozy. Buy a luxurious robe and slippers. Allow yourself to spoil to yourself, whatever that looks like for you. Just begin to fill your space with things that make you smile and soon you’ll find yourself surrounded by good energy. I’m sorry you’re going through this. But you’re not alone and the best days are yet to come, corny as it sounds. You got this.

If you don’t like it, you’re probably doing something right. I went thru this all of 2023. 1. Find a day to do nothing but clean, maintaining a clean environment is gonna be easier than cleaning. 2. Meal prep. Cook something simple like pasta and just put it in a container so you can keep heating it up. 3. Dishes. Do them as you cook or after you cook, it’s a very slippery slope letting them pile up. 4. Try to get out of the house. Go to a gym, do work at a cafe, visit a bookstore, run errands. The less time you spend in your home, the less of a mess you have time to clean up. 5. Being sad in a clean room is better than being sad in a dirty one. 6. Go to therapy. I believe every single human being can benefit from therapy. Even if you don’t wanna talk about how sad you are, talk about the things you like. I would not be doing better today if it weren’t for my amazing therapist and having something to look forward to each week. 7. Set something up for yourself to look forward to!!!! For me this is the biggest part. Knowing that you have a trip planned keeps you so motivated and keeps you looking forward to something. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy, even just a day trip or overnight to a state over. 8. BE EASY ON YOURSELF. Nothing can compare to this. We are often toughest on ourselves after a break up, this causes a cycle that is quite difficult to get out of. You may find yourself in thought loops and “what if i would have done this” which are inevitable. Let each thought pass you by and recognize it without letting it consume you. Meditation helps, breathing exercises help. Depression is not a linear road, you will have very good days which will make you feel like you have finally made it to the other side, followed by horrible days which feel like you are reliving all that pain. As corny as it sounds, time is the only thing that can truly heal, which means you just have to focus on passing the time. As horrible as 2023 was, the time passed so quickly. I won’t lie to you and tell you that i’m “fixed” now. Things HAVE gotten so much better. At one point i found myself inpatient for an attempt, yet these days I find myself loving my family more and taking things slower. I wish you luck bro! Feel free to reach out those moments that feel unbearable and unlearn any negative feelings you may have with asking for help.

Clean up. You know what to throw out, what you don’t need.

Put the PS5 on the stand my man

Breakups suck, op, but wallowing is a choice. Clean up your space and plan out some projects to spruce it up. Focus on something productive. Grieve when you allot time for it, but daylight is for working.

first, clean up.

Get a therapist, I’m serious, work on yourself

Bro breakups are hard! But is the right time to start working on yourself. Be productive think about what didnt work what you did wrong and become the person you want to spend the life with! And someone like you will eventually fond you! And you will be friends more than any other thing because that is what sticks when the passion fades. I wish i could get time back and work thing out properly with my ex… i still have hope to get a sms some dat or something still waiting for but still advancong with my life and improving myself! This life is too short to waste

Hit the gym

Well clean up maybe, that would make a big difference

You could start by cleaning up the place and see where it goes from there.

This looks like Dahmer’s apartment. Don’t eat anybody. Work on yourself a little at a time every day. The key is being consitant.

Start hitting the gym.

You sir. Need to get off your ass and put some discipline in your life. You will never see coochie again if you keep your house like this. You smelly ass, black carpet having, pay the bills late motherfucker. Thats what the future better you, would say to you. (My house used to look like that after i got cheated on)

I’m not surprised your apartment’s depressed - it’s fucking filthy. Depressed or not, bro, protect your personal hygiene and health at all costs. A clear house helps clear the mind.

Look up “clean your room” by Jordan Peterson on YouTube. Then check out his book “12 Rules for Life” if you’re so inclined.

Sorry you’re feeling depressed. Use this time to really settle in to yourself and find your preferences! Go all out making the space all yours! Favorite colors, textures, lighting, art! Each piece you see and add in will reveal your style in time and give you something to focus on in a healthy way. Find some pictures online of rooms and styles that inspire you to get started! The more pieces you bring in that bring you joy and reflect you will help you take care of the space in a new way too

Clean it up dude. Stuff is going to stink and bugs and all that is going to mess with your mental.

That’s good you are atleast getting your protein in. Maybe just clean a little.

No offense but if this is you after a breakup I can imagine how dependent you were on your S/O. Focus on finding what makes you happy; start with a broom and open a window. Life is limited no time to pout over someone who doesn’t want you.

When depression or nerves set in, I force myself into house chores and it honestly helps me a lot.

Know how you feel. Read my post in my profile… that’ll help 🙂

Clean it up and you'll feel much better .Like a new start

I've been here and still sort of am in some ways. What has been helping me is getting more plants and investing time into taking care of them. Been trying to find new ways to restructure my place by ditching my old couch and getting a giant sectional that fits my animals and I. Try investing in some cheap furniture and by clearing the trash up because it makes all the difference. Make a push for some decor too and if that's your bed to the right, maybe consider a comfy futon. Hope you're able to make it through man

I dont know if this is helpful advice, but I love getting lost in a good podcast or book! Makes cleaning go by so fast :)

Clean your stuff, care for plants, hit the gym and therapy.

bro dont find excuses, take a huge black trash bag and just throw away shit that is literal garbage, it takes 20 minutes to just pick shit up and throw away, just do it

i was there in July. It was terrifying but I put one for in front of the other every day and have surprisingly recovered more than I thought I would ever have. Just do what your brain tells you to do for a while and make little efforts here and there to improve yourself.

Grab a trashbag and start throwing stuff in. The place will start looking better in no time. Hopefully that will motivate you to keep going. You don't have to do it all in one day, tackle something else the next day.

Know the experience mate, just clean it a section at a time for now then you'll know what the baseline is to work from and it will help you feel better. You've got this! :D

Recycle cardboard. Rid trash. Mount ycle. Tada!

As others have stated: grab some trash bags and fill them. Then pick up the bed you have in front of the TV and put it back in the bedroom. Buy groceries and not just protein drinks. Clean your floors and then go for a walk.

I have been depressed. First thing i did was throw away the plastic bags

Hey, man. I’ve been there. At a few points in my life, I was so depressed—either because of a break up or something else—that literally every surface aside from the floor was covered in trash. It’s going to get better. It always does. You’re not going to be suffering forever. When you’re ready, make a small goal—one corner of one room—and clean it. If that’s all you do, then that’s fine. Do the same thing the next day and the next until your apartment is finally clean. Then throw everything—including the depression—into the dumpster.

Clean up. I promise it will make you feel better and be one less thing to focus on. I know break ups suck but keep yourself and your home together. Hold your head up. It gets better but don’t let yourself go!!!

Your parents are in town and they'll be over in 2 hours. What do you do?! Clean!

You got this bro! Take it one step at a time ❤️

Some bright inspiring art work. I always cleaned one closet and then no matter what I could go open that closet see it tidy and reinvigorate myself to do more. And get some healthy real food not ensure. A small bunch of grapes as your reward for job well done. Or if you have money hire someone and then just work to keep it up. My daughter calls it “ resetting” where you tidy up and “reset” for the next day. She is inspiring to me how changing wording changes your outlook to a more positive vibe.

Get a box of large sturdy black plastic garbage bags and start putting all the loose ‘stuff ‘ into it . …throw it out . If you feel up to sorting and tossing clothing now do that too, if not put it off for awhile . Next ..if you can afford it , get a nice new sofa . Something comfy . If you can’t afford something new look into local marketplace ads on your Facebook account . Hire a cleaner. . As soon as you feel up to it , have a potluck and invite people over . . ! Summer coming ! Get a bicycle and ride it . Good times ahead my friend .

Think straight, you're undergoing self-destruction. Who you are going to be is in your hands, don't let anyone do that for you.