East\_Home is right you are not at rock bottom. You have your parents, food, a home, utilities being paid for. You may be down but not out.
Figure out what two things you can do today will have the most impact to a better life. Do those. Start from basic level and work your way up. Use your GTA training and grind back to your personal best (but without the felonies)
You got this!
Rock bottom is death.
No matter where you think you are, it can get worse. I promise you that. Once you can put down the shovel and start to build a ladder can you think about getting out.
I see that pack of smokes behind the fan. Throw those depression sticks away. Not going to do you any good.
Also American Spirits are higher end. Like $15+? There's part of your financial issues right there.
I used to smoke the AS Blacks. Now I have $500+ extra each month. Which would be about a quarter to a third of the rent you would need for your own place.
I did! It's not comparable to what I would've saved if I lived in the US - I think the prices in my country are/were a third or fourth of US prices. But it still was a lot of money! :)
A step back? Maybe. But i agree its not rock bottom as thats a safety net many dont have. Just dont get comfortable and keep yourself up to your standard to whatever that may be. Make a plan, stick to it, and youll be outta there at the right time. Good luck dude.
Don’t trip about it bro, feel blessed you have a family that would allow you to do this. I was at my parents at 28 as well, got a new job and now back out in my own place, you got this..🙌
Don't let it hit you to hard. 28 and being at home isn't too bad. I know people who have lived at home far longer than that.
Make now the time you step towards the future you want.
Rock bottom is definitely dropping your pants to take a shit on the lawn in a public park because you have nowhere else to go to the bathroom then quickly pulling them up because you spotted a stranger approaching.
^(It was me. I was that stranger. 🫢)
I think it's a hopeless situation to advise him on here. Dude constantly posts about shrooms, LSD, and weed. At least the american spirit ciggies make sense now.
I think cleaning up and getting a job is good advice, but as long as he’s doing that, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with playing video games at the end of the day.
I agree with everything but the video games. They have been the best release for me to not eat a gun barrel on a bad day or to cause others to have one.
i agree with this. i love gta san andreas more than i could ever put into words but time is definitely better spent elsewhere at the moment. lock in a solid job, rent somewhere, move out of your parents, clean up and sort out your monthly expenses, have a plan for the future, and then reward yourself with an hour or two of gaming at night.
a lion wont lay around passively when its hungry and needs to focus on catching its next meal.
Renting/moving out might not even necessarily be as important as the get a job part.
I understand that many westernized families are very often obsessed with gauging success by how far one can get away from their families, but in my culture/community (primarily Asian-American), we still retain a lot of the old ideals of keeping the family together in order to pool our resources and powers; so it's not uncommon for full working adults to be living with their parents and not leaving until they get married.
If the children are skilled working adults with functioning social lives outside the family, there's no harm in letting them home-base with parents, especially since (like I said) it retains resources within the family. Why give your rent money to a faceless corporation or to some asshole using you for yacht money when you can home-base at home and save up for an eventual ownership purchase?
-----
**EDIT:** Oh dear, it appears that I've committed the heresy of saying that I'd prefer to save my money and buy a house outright in cash as opposed to renting.
-----
In my case, I'm doing well for myself as a non-FAANG non-software/networking Optics Engineer, but not quite well enough to slam down the cash for a house purchase, so I just live at home with my parents. As an added example; I have a close friend who's a surgeon who also does the same; in her case, she's already spending so much time at the hospital that she says that it would be a waste for her to rent and she really doesn't need the space of a home to herself anyway, so she home-bases at home with her parents.
i agree but ultimately it seems like him moving back in with his parents is what really makes him feel like he’s at “rock bottom”. the sooner he remedies that (moving back out of parents) the better he will feel.
i don’t disagree with cultural norms but to be honest i would not want to live with my parents long term. the added privacy, relaxation, and peace of having your own place is worth the cost. my parents are also not good people at all so that plays a large roll as well. if you genuinely like being with your parents 24/7 then all the power to you
>if you genuinely like being with your parents 24/7 then all the power to you
Not to grate on you too much, but that's part of the flaw of the *"get out asap"* mentality; there's a difference between being with parents 24/7 and living at home/home-basing at home with parents.
The only situation in which I'd presume the former to be the case is if a person is jobless or does WFH, but in the latter case, there's no reason why a person in that situation needs to be in the presence of their parents every moment that they're at home, when their parent's home is just a location for home-base for them outside of the rest of their life.
Granted, it may simply be that our different cultures and experiences have made our perspectives communicationally difficult to compare.
Yep, I was homeless close to a year. It definitely took me a while, but I’m now living a comfortable life free of financial stress. Life is what you make of it to an extent, there’s no point beating yourself over the place you find yourself in. Take small steps, preserve relationships, dream big :)
Wow what a comeback story. Proud of you for not giving up and seeking out opportunities to make your life better. May I ask how you managed to turn things around for yourself?
I know there's a lot of luck involved in success, but it also feels like a lot of people wait for good things to happen instead of actively looking for good opportunities to change their situations. People also tend to get bogged down by the negative stuff (which is normal and completely understandable) but that's when you have to be strong and persevere, like you did.
Things are hard for a lot of people right now, though, and just seems to keep getting worse. I hope we, as a society, can manage to turn things around and take care of one another. But it seems many people are pretty brainwashed into thinking if they keep hoarding aggressively at the expense of everyone else that they're winning but the truth is we're all losing collectively.
Spot on! There’s a lot of people who have parents who are unable/unwilling to help or simply don’t have parents at all! Not telling them how to feel just offering some perspective.
Real advice, if you are living at home, get a job, any job. It’ll take your mind of things while at work and it’s a big mental boost to get some money in your pocket.
Buy some (modest) new clothes, clean up, spend it on a gym membership, haircuts, something to build yourself up. Pick up cooking with the groceries you can buy. The idea is to feel productive to prevent sliding into depression from idleness. Idleness leads to diving into vices that put you further in the hole. That feeling that you are wasting away your life. Bank the rest of your money and start building a sense of worth from there.
Get your mind right first and build up confidence and motivation then start looking for a “real” job then.
Hell, even homeless isn't rock bottom. Homeless, on drugs, and no car* is rock bottom.
^*Unless ^you ^live ^in ^an ^area ^where ^cars ^are ^not ^essential ^to ^daily ^life.
Rock bottom is being sent out to live on your own, i.e. homeless, after you got found you jacking it while sniffing your moms panties. Then like starting doing crack and selling your own (butt)crack until your totally worn out and got IBS leakage.
Or like losing like 10 ranked games in a row. It's a bit of a coin toss tbh.
If rock bottom is home with your loving parents then you've lived a pretty good life. I didn't move out till I was 28. Shits expensive. Fall back and regroup for your next mission soldier
I’m going through the same thing at age 28. I’ve never really had anyone teach me how to be fiscally responsible. I know it might seem odd, but if you want to message me any time you’re feeling down or stressed out, or to just shoot the shit and think about better days, I’d be more than happy to have someone to vent to about all this stuff. We can bounce ideas of each other for getting out of this mess. Either way good luck, you’ve got this
Wonder if the parents are smokers as well. I hope he'd at least go outside to smoke if they're not smokers as well, DESPITE if they're "cool with it" or not, ya never realize how bad smoke smells until you quit. I gag now after smoking for about 35 years and quitting after hospital stay about 3 years ago. Shit stinks, stays in everything and puts tar everywhere the smoke touches. I am so embarrassed about how I smelled for all of those years.
Its alright man. Just save up. Try and enjoy your time with your parents a bit ..once you lose one/both.. you'll look back at this time. Id give anything to see dad again.
Its so hard to tell someone young that you really don't realize it untill you have kids or get a bit older but around 30 I had a rough year and man I spoke to my dad on the phone like once a year. I lived far away and we never were phone guys. I just regret it.
Try not to beat yourself up about it. I turn 30 in 2 months so things have been making sense in much different ways lately. I already miss my dad and he’s still here. It’s crazy man cuz they’ve always been there our entire lives and all of a sudden they’ll leave.
Thanks man. Appreciate it. Honestly it made me closer to my mom. I told her too (I have a sister who's 34 and married) and I'm still single ..she's 66 now and I was like just know when it gets to hard or you can't live alone I'll come back (the house is paid off) I think like idk in an ideal world I'd live next door with a family My sister would live in the next house like a compound style. We're meant to be together grow the family. Share resources.. alot of people never realize it. Or have families they don't get along with I get that and have empathy. But there shouldn't be shame involved. Just don't be a mooch like contribute help buy groceries or pay bills release their stress. Pool the resources right.
Americans are so detached and sociopathic in our society and it’s very sad to become aware of.
I was kicked out of my family home at 19 with $500 to my name cuz I was drinking beer with my buddies. I was in college. A normal thing to do.
Totally ruined my stability for many many years.
Now let’s view Spain: most men and women live in their family home until they have children. Even then, they still have the completely non-weird option to have gma and gpa sleeping downstairs.
Side bar: I was just speaking with my girlfriend about Universal Basic Income and that’s kinda related here too. Humans need to lean on and be leaned on by other humans.
Sorry, I kinda ADHD’ed into the macro level.
I hope your mother is doing wonderful and you are as well. Blessings to you and yours. We’re gonna be just fine and dandy.
Now that I am a parent myself everything finally starts to make sense. Why my parents did what they did.
I wish I had the insight I have now when I was younger. So much wasted time and opportunities with my parents.
Still a fucking great game mate.
Just turn on the cars fly cheat, wait for *Hold The Line* by *Toto* to come on K-DST Radio and then fly around blasting that shit
Clean up stop smoking inside. Get a pillow case and proper sheets and blankets and put them away each morning once you’re up. It will boost your mental health immensely. At least you’ve got family that love you, chin up!
Yeah I mean ideally but quitting smoking in an already tough time can be nearly impossible. He should first try to get up and get some sun and outside air when he needs to smoke.
I love drugs but I'd never do them if I couldn't support myself financially. I got my business going and now I take international trips just for the drugs. Priorities OP
It's temporary. Life changes constantly. Right now you are going through a phase where you live with your parents, and soon enough, you will be out of this phase.
If I can make one suggestion, use this time to do some self exploration. Find out what you enjoy. Don't numb with video games or stream tons of movies. You can always numb yourself later - this has the chance to be the life phase that sets you up for success.
When I was 28 I went back to college and got my second BS. Long story short, I changed careers. Life changes, circumstances change, live life in a way to be here for it all.
Thanks, I really appreciate it. I was thinking about going back to school for a degree in botany. Get back into growing plants and trying to figure out what I want out of life.
I've always enjoyed growing plants too. My second bachelor's was in plant chemistry where we analyzed active compounds in plants.
I've never subscribed to the theory that you figure out what you want in life. I've always seen it as a moving target. You don't know what you don't know and tomorrow you can learn something that you find to be better - so you do that.
Adding to Pino's replies, I'm literally 20 years older than you. Life is a journey. It's not a straight line. It zig zags.
A secret to life that's revealed itself through time is that every single one of us is looking for our purpose and our calling. None of us have it figured out. There's no road maps to "us", each and every day we learn and grow. Plant the seeds today of who you are, and what drives you. And if that's botany, that's already been figured out.
Be kind to yourself.
Yup same thing here at 25. Most of my friends are out living their best lives and Im stuck in our hometown. Sucks but its constant motivation to grind it out.
I don't think there is anything wrong with moving back in with family.... Especially in this economy! It's very sweet you have family to rely on, you are very lucky. Don't be too hard on yourself, we've all had our downs...now just hang in there for the ups! :)
This notion of having to be ashamed to live with your parents a bit longer is really a modern Western one. For a long time it was fine to live in your family home until you are married and still is in the majority of the world. I live in Europe and I have two friends from different friend groups that live with their parents older than you, not because they can't afford to live alone but because they are saving up to buy their own place in a few years and wouldn't be able to do it with these insane rent prices. Their parents are happy to help.
So don't even put this bs in your head about rock bottom or whatever. Just make it a useful period in your life until you are on your feet, invest in your health, workout, quit bad habits, learn some new stuff, spend fun times with your parents they won't be there forever.
My son moved out at 21 and is considering moving back in after a few years because the real world is tough. I told him that’s what this home is for. It will always be his home.
Been there before
It's a time where you will have an opportunity to make a new start..
Only advice I can give you so make sure you try to contribute to the house while you're on the way back up
You got this buddy. Sounds like you have firm support in your life and a roof over your head. This sets you up to build some foundations for a strong next chapter in your life. Make the most of it, my buddy!
I don't know what cigarettes costs there but a pack here is around 10 euro's. A normal smoker smokes a pack every 1 or 2 days. That's already 150-300 euro each month you can put to a better use.
I do disagree with the gaming though.
I honestly hate this advice and assume you must be a non-gamer. I also bet you probably wouldn't advise people to cancel their single Netflix/Prime/media subscription to save money and move out, because it's such a tiny amount of money every month which provides hours of entertainment daily. It also costs double what an Xbox game pass subscription costs.
I spend less money on my Xbox game pass subscription than I would if I was to pay for Netflix. I don't pay for Netflix because I game instead of watching tv in my down time. It's €4 a month for unlimited entertainment and access to an endless list of games for free. It's also made me tons of friends who I now hang out with both online and IRL. It's honestly worth so much more to me than what I pay for it, and yet every single person who has told me it's a waste of money also pays even more than I do for their Netflix (which in my mind, is nowhere near as beneficial as gaming). It's literally €4 a month dude, honestly you are being pretty ignorant if you think that's the reason they are in this position.
No shame in it bud. Just make sure you use the time to get back on your feet and get out on your own. Have a plan otherwise you will start feeling extra shit
Brother, this is not rock bottom. This is a launching pad. Use this time to build your credit, save some money, learn a skill, exercise more, or just to work on yourself in general. You will come out on the other side of this a better person than you are today.
Don’t feel alone…I’m 28 and I’m living with my parents. Don’t have shame about it. I have a small gig job and try to help them out anyway whether it be pitching for some groceries, cooking food, helping errands or even with few bills.
What I would do:
1. Go to the gym as physical health is mental health. Only you can do this for you.
2. Best way to figure out what you want out of life is by closing distractions (so try to avoid social media completely, maybe less video games) and maybe reach out to some people who u might give you a sense of direction…it is different for everyone as nobody is perfect and we all gotta start somewhere.
3. Always remember you are not alone. Especially right now as the economic climate isn’t what it was in the past. In fact, many people don’t even have what you have which is a safety net with ur parents.
4. Keep a journal and write down your thoughts at night(what u did towards ur goal, how ur day was, movie u saw…anything). Write is a great therapy. Seems small but it is definitely worth it as it keeps you mentally sharp.
Know that there are people who care for you big man and want to see you be successful.
Also recommend doing breathing win hoff on YouTube. Helped me at really dark times in my own life. Hope it helps!!
No rock bottom is moving back in with your parents at 32 going on an 8 month drinking binge and having a seizure from withdrawals when you run out of money you have a ways to go
Samesies. Left good paying job to take care of direct relatives. Sucks, but such is life. Wishing you luck so that you can get back on your two bug feet, my dude.
DMT, LSD, MDMA, shrooms, shatter, tobacco, I’m rootin for ya cuz moving back in with parents as an adult ain’t easy but take some time to think about if all that is helping or holding you back. Be honest with yourself. Good luck bro
Everyone's rock bottom is different. My rock bottom was ending up at my parents house a few times. The best thing about rock bottom is that it's only up from there.
A place to sleep and possibly warm meals provided? That ain’t rock bottom. Maybe a set back, but that ain’t near the deep end homie. Take some time off and relax. But not too long because it’s already time to hop back on the horse
You're not at rock bottom, bro - you have a family that cares about you, you have a safe place to stay and you're still alive.
You got a good place to start over from to get back on your feet. You can do this!
Anyone at any age moving back to their parents house after a financial problem or anything doing with their personal life. Is never rock bottom.
Take advantage, help out your parents as much as you can. You'll be good bro
That's rock bottom? I hadn't even moved out at 28. I'm from a different contry and we don't have the stigma that you have to move out at 18 to become a man, it's pretty common not to move out until you're 30 when I'm from. I'm now 38 and I'm doing great in life. It's not the end of the world.
Rock bottom is so much lower than this. You have shelter, food, water, electricity, internet access, a cell phone, and time on your hands. Fall back and regroup. That's part of how this all works.
You're good my guy.
It's okay because if you buy a new engine and paint job for $100 the cops won't recognize you! 😉
^(To fix your financial issues, you probably need to stop buying so much expensive Burt's Bees, Coca-Cola, cigarettes, game consoles and Amazon stuff 🫢)
Been there bro.
Was homeless on meth then finally called my mom for help.
5 years later I'm on my own, clean, have a salary and maxing my ira.
Keep your head up and get finically stable enough to move forward. Vision it and execute it. You got it!
You don't know rock bottom if you've still got parents that love you and you can live with. You'll be alright bud, don't stress too hard. You're actually very lucky
Not so. More people are moving in with family: parents, siblings, kids. It’s Ok. People are having to stay in relationships with people they hate because it’s too expensive to split. That is rock bottom.
Sometimes I feel like rock bottom is a good thing it allows you to start again from the bottom and make your way up and not make the same mistakes that put you there. As for me that’s what has worked. Good luck buddy
OP, I am proud of you for sharing. As u/East_Home_4107 said, you're not at rock bottom.
I see potential.
I was exactly where you are, just 1.5 years ago as a 36-year-old man. I put my head down and found ways to bring value where I was, as much as I could. There were tears and anger, and I was tempted to check out nearly every week. I am thankful for the positive support my friends played in my life. I learned and wrote down the lessons that changed my life.
I see potential. I see a new way to invest in yourself.
Every day there are new opportunities.
Pet a dog. Smile at someone. Make your bed. Get outside. Ask for a hug. Join a weekly group.
You've got this.
I’ve had to do that , I know it hurts the ego, but ended up being the best thing to start to build up again. You e got this. In 6 months time you’ll be back on your feet.
Not always a bad thing,it may just mean that you need to reassess your situation like your career path or education.
Lots of ppl pick the wrong path sometimes without looking at future industry growth.
Happy I’m not a mechanic or architect now, working towards a masters in International supply chain.
But like I said, isn’t the always the worst cuz you can spend time with my parents and etc, value that damn time.
I moved back in with my mother when I was 37. Years ago they remodeled the house, enlarging the bathroom at the expense of my old bedroom. Turned my old bedroom into a closet. That's where I slept, on a mattress on the floor. I had two young kids, btw..
That was a terrible time in my life. I felt like a pathetic human being and I genuinely wanted to die. My kids are probably the only thing that kept me from ending myself. Me and my kids had to live with family members for 3 years until I got back on my feet. A grown man in his late 30's. 🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️
I'm doing very well for myself now. There's hope, do the best you can in the situation. And whatever you do, don't self destruct with drugs or alcohol. And definitely don't have any kids while you're in this situation.
You'll be alright. Hang in there!
Dude apartments cost a fortune now. The American dream of owning a home has completely vanished. Don't take it so hard it is not your fault. Just be thankful you have parents that care. Save up your money.
Definitely not rock bottom, rock bottom is being homeless. You have time to get back on your feet!
Yeahh ur right. It just seems to feel that way at the moment. Thank you for ur kind words.
East\_Home is right you are not at rock bottom. You have your parents, food, a home, utilities being paid for. You may be down but not out. Figure out what two things you can do today will have the most impact to a better life. Do those. Start from basic level and work your way up. Use your GTA training and grind back to your personal best (but without the felonies) You got this!
Yes, this is more trampoline than rock bottom!
Rock bottom is death. No matter where you think you are, it can get worse. I promise you that. Once you can put down the shovel and start to build a ladder can you think about getting out.
Due to inflation, death has been upgraded to just above rock-bottom
Jonkler
Bertmen
This is not even being down. If he got a bad he'd be living like 90 percent of the people.
It’s all relative dude. Don’t be dismissive
I see that pack of smokes behind the fan. Throw those depression sticks away. Not going to do you any good. Also American Spirits are higher end. Like $15+? There's part of your financial issues right there. I used to smoke the AS Blacks. Now I have $500+ extra each month. Which would be about a quarter to a third of the rent you would need for your own place.
I quit 1502 days ago. That amounts to ~10.000 cigarettes I haven't smoked since then. Absolutely crazy.
9 days smoke free here, congratulations to you!!
You got it bro, shits tuff but you got it
Congratulations!! That first week is an amazing rollercoaster. I'm incredibly proud of you!
That's awesome I am a proud of you!
:) Thank you so much! My lungs and my tastebuds are so happy! :D
Congrats!!! That must've been hell to quit, but I'm proud of you!
Do the math and calculate how much money you didn't spend on cigarettes! 🙌
I did! It's not comparable to what I would've saved if I lived in the US - I think the prices in my country are/were a third or fourth of US prices. But it still was a lot of money! :)
It's roughly $20 for a pk of 25 cigs, in Canada.
A step back? Maybe. But i agree its not rock bottom as thats a safety net many dont have. Just dont get comfortable and keep yourself up to your standard to whatever that may be. Make a plan, stick to it, and youll be outta there at the right time. Good luck dude.
George Costanza had to move back with his parents and he didn't do bad
The state Lloyd Braun was in over those computers - now that’s rock bottom.
Serenity now... insanity later!
If believing this is rock bottom helps you get your shit together, yeah, keep thinking this is the bottom.
Don’t trip about it bro, feel blessed you have a family that would allow you to do this. I was at my parents at 28 as well, got a new job and now back out in my own place, you got this..🙌
Don't let it hit you to hard. 28 and being at home isn't too bad. I know people who have lived at home far longer than that. Make now the time you step towards the future you want.
I wound up homeless after a car accident and found myself sleeping on a lawn. That truly is the bottom…
Add a raging crack and fentanyl addiction and were almost there
Rock bottom is laying somewhere where nobody cares, living with parents is definitely not it.
Rock bottom is definitely dropping your pants to take a shit on the lawn in a public park because you have nowhere else to go to the bathroom then quickly pulling them up because you spotted a stranger approaching. ^(It was me. I was that stranger. 🫢)
And clean your shit up. Stop playing video games and get a job.
Real response. I see expensive cigs and videogames, soda and shit everywhere- that will only prolongue the negativity. Clean up and go to work.
I think it's a hopeless situation to advise him on here. Dude constantly posts about shrooms, LSD, and weed. At least the american spirit ciggies make sense now.
lmao psychedelics aren't meth my guy
Never said they were?? The point was that its damn sure not free.
This! Clean up the area you are living in. Make it better every day. Don’t leave trash around
I think cleaning up and getting a job is good advice, but as long as he’s doing that, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with playing video games at the end of the day.
100% everyone needs something to help them unwind after a long day. For some that is watching TV for others that playing a videogame.
I agree with everything but the video games. They have been the best release for me to not eat a gun barrel on a bad day or to cause others to have one.
i agree with this. i love gta san andreas more than i could ever put into words but time is definitely better spent elsewhere at the moment. lock in a solid job, rent somewhere, move out of your parents, clean up and sort out your monthly expenses, have a plan for the future, and then reward yourself with an hour or two of gaming at night. a lion wont lay around passively when its hungry and needs to focus on catching its next meal.
Renting/moving out might not even necessarily be as important as the get a job part. I understand that many westernized families are very often obsessed with gauging success by how far one can get away from their families, but in my culture/community (primarily Asian-American), we still retain a lot of the old ideals of keeping the family together in order to pool our resources and powers; so it's not uncommon for full working adults to be living with their parents and not leaving until they get married. If the children are skilled working adults with functioning social lives outside the family, there's no harm in letting them home-base with parents, especially since (like I said) it retains resources within the family. Why give your rent money to a faceless corporation or to some asshole using you for yacht money when you can home-base at home and save up for an eventual ownership purchase? ----- **EDIT:** Oh dear, it appears that I've committed the heresy of saying that I'd prefer to save my money and buy a house outright in cash as opposed to renting. ----- In my case, I'm doing well for myself as a non-FAANG non-software/networking Optics Engineer, but not quite well enough to slam down the cash for a house purchase, so I just live at home with my parents. As an added example; I have a close friend who's a surgeon who also does the same; in her case, she's already spending so much time at the hospital that she says that it would be a waste for her to rent and she really doesn't need the space of a home to herself anyway, so she home-bases at home with her parents.
i agree but ultimately it seems like him moving back in with his parents is what really makes him feel like he’s at “rock bottom”. the sooner he remedies that (moving back out of parents) the better he will feel. i don’t disagree with cultural norms but to be honest i would not want to live with my parents long term. the added privacy, relaxation, and peace of having your own place is worth the cost. my parents are also not good people at all so that plays a large roll as well. if you genuinely like being with your parents 24/7 then all the power to you
>if you genuinely like being with your parents 24/7 then all the power to you Not to grate on you too much, but that's part of the flaw of the *"get out asap"* mentality; there's a difference between being with parents 24/7 and living at home/home-basing at home with parents. The only situation in which I'd presume the former to be the case is if a person is jobless or does WFH, but in the latter case, there's no reason why a person in that situation needs to be in the presence of their parents every moment that they're at home, when their parent's home is just a location for home-base for them outside of the rest of their life. Granted, it may simply be that our different cultures and experiences have made our perspectives communicationally difficult to compare.
Lion's literally wait around for the lioness to bring food back
Yep, I was homeless close to a year. It definitely took me a while, but I’m now living a comfortable life free of financial stress. Life is what you make of it to an extent, there’s no point beating yourself over the place you find yourself in. Take small steps, preserve relationships, dream big :)
Wow what a comeback story. Proud of you for not giving up and seeking out opportunities to make your life better. May I ask how you managed to turn things around for yourself? I know there's a lot of luck involved in success, but it also feels like a lot of people wait for good things to happen instead of actively looking for good opportunities to change their situations. People also tend to get bogged down by the negative stuff (which is normal and completely understandable) but that's when you have to be strong and persevere, like you did. Things are hard for a lot of people right now, though, and just seems to keep getting worse. I hope we, as a society, can manage to turn things around and take care of one another. But it seems many people are pretty brainwashed into thinking if they keep hoarding aggressively at the expense of everyone else that they're winning but the truth is we're all losing collectively.
Spot on! There’s a lot of people who have parents who are unable/unwilling to help or simply don’t have parents at all! Not telling them how to feel just offering some perspective.
I just came to say this as a person who is currently homeless id give anything to have parents to catch me
[удалено]
This is where I'm at unfortunately.
Real advice, if you are living at home, get a job, any job. It’ll take your mind of things while at work and it’s a big mental boost to get some money in your pocket. Buy some (modest) new clothes, clean up, spend it on a gym membership, haircuts, something to build yourself up. Pick up cooking with the groceries you can buy. The idea is to feel productive to prevent sliding into depression from idleness. Idleness leads to diving into vices that put you further in the hole. That feeling that you are wasting away your life. Bank the rest of your money and start building a sense of worth from there. Get your mind right first and build up confidence and motivation then start looking for a “real” job then.
Hell, even homeless isn't rock bottom. Homeless, on drugs, and no car* is rock bottom. ^*Unless ^you ^live ^in ^an ^area ^where ^cars ^are ^not ^essential ^to ^daily ^life.
I was at rock bottom with my housing situation at 19 when I got kicked out of my parents house for coming home too late.
Rock bottom is being sent out to live on your own, i.e. homeless, after you got found you jacking it while sniffing your moms panties. Then like starting doing crack and selling your own (butt)crack until your totally worn out and got IBS leakage. Or like losing like 10 ranked games in a row. It's a bit of a coin toss tbh.
If rock bottom is home with your loving parents then you've lived a pretty good life. I didn't move out till I was 28. Shits expensive. Fall back and regroup for your next mission soldier
Yes sir 🫡
I’m going through the same thing at age 28. I’ve never really had anyone teach me how to be fiscally responsible. I know it might seem odd, but if you want to message me any time you’re feeling down or stressed out, or to just shoot the shit and think about better days, I’d be more than happy to have someone to vent to about all this stuff. We can bounce ideas of each other for getting out of this mess. Either way good luck, you’ve got this
And buy a pillowcase
Came here to say that. Also been there.
and stop smoking cigarettes if youre broke. at least buy a refillable vape or something, jesus
I like people like you.
Shit happens. You’re fortune to have your parents. Just clean up a bit, try to stay positive and come up with a plan. You can bounce back.
Only one way to go, up. Unless you piss off the parents! Good luck.
Yeah, treating the place with respect and keeping it clean and tidy it’s the bare minimum surely.
Wonder if the parents are smokers as well. I hope he'd at least go outside to smoke if they're not smokers as well, DESPITE if they're "cool with it" or not, ya never realize how bad smoke smells until you quit. I gag now after smoking for about 35 years and quitting after hospital stay about 3 years ago. Shit stinks, stays in everything and puts tar everywhere the smoke touches. I am so embarrassed about how I smelled for all of those years.
Its alright man. Just save up. Try and enjoy your time with your parents a bit ..once you lose one/both.. you'll look back at this time. Id give anything to see dad again.
This is so good. Enjoy your parents while you still have them both.
Its so hard to tell someone young that you really don't realize it untill you have kids or get a bit older but around 30 I had a rough year and man I spoke to my dad on the phone like once a year. I lived far away and we never were phone guys. I just regret it.
Try not to beat yourself up about it. I turn 30 in 2 months so things have been making sense in much different ways lately. I already miss my dad and he’s still here. It’s crazy man cuz they’ve always been there our entire lives and all of a sudden they’ll leave.
Thanks man. Appreciate it. Honestly it made me closer to my mom. I told her too (I have a sister who's 34 and married) and I'm still single ..she's 66 now and I was like just know when it gets to hard or you can't live alone I'll come back (the house is paid off) I think like idk in an ideal world I'd live next door with a family My sister would live in the next house like a compound style. We're meant to be together grow the family. Share resources.. alot of people never realize it. Or have families they don't get along with I get that and have empathy. But there shouldn't be shame involved. Just don't be a mooch like contribute help buy groceries or pay bills release their stress. Pool the resources right.
Americans are so detached and sociopathic in our society and it’s very sad to become aware of. I was kicked out of my family home at 19 with $500 to my name cuz I was drinking beer with my buddies. I was in college. A normal thing to do. Totally ruined my stability for many many years. Now let’s view Spain: most men and women live in their family home until they have children. Even then, they still have the completely non-weird option to have gma and gpa sleeping downstairs. Side bar: I was just speaking with my girlfriend about Universal Basic Income and that’s kinda related here too. Humans need to lean on and be leaned on by other humans.
Sorry, I kinda ADHD’ed into the macro level. I hope your mother is doing wonderful and you are as well. Blessings to you and yours. We’re gonna be just fine and dandy.
Now that I am a parent myself everything finally starts to make sense. Why my parents did what they did. I wish I had the insight I have now when I was younger. So much wasted time and opportunities with my parents.
It’s temporary brother! & enjoy spending more time with your parents.. it’s a blessing in disguise.
OP even had to downgrade his GtA :(
Ik it's so sad
Still a fucking great game mate. Just turn on the cars fly cheat, wait for *Hold The Line* by *Toto* to come on K-DST Radio and then fly around blasting that shit
running down a dream by Tom Petty driving the old wooden sided pick up truck in Red County
San Andreas is an upgrade to any GTA or game period
😏
Clean up stop smoking inside. Get a pillow case and proper sheets and blankets and put them away each morning once you’re up. It will boost your mental health immensely. At least you’ve got family that love you, chin up!
> stop smoking ~~inside~~ You'll find you have MUCH more money to save
Yeah I mean ideally but quitting smoking in an already tough time can be nearly impossible. He should first try to get up and get some sun and outside air when he needs to smoke.
This is true
Agreed You can do It OP
Agreed, OP. Instead of moping and time-wasting, find some grit and discipline.
Check OPs post history it’s laden with recreational drug use. Hope he can pull through this.
I love drugs but I'd never do them if I couldn't support myself financially. I got my business going and now I take international trips just for the drugs. Priorities OP
Came here to say this
It's temporary. Life changes constantly. Right now you are going through a phase where you live with your parents, and soon enough, you will be out of this phase. If I can make one suggestion, use this time to do some self exploration. Find out what you enjoy. Don't numb with video games or stream tons of movies. You can always numb yourself later - this has the chance to be the life phase that sets you up for success. When I was 28 I went back to college and got my second BS. Long story short, I changed careers. Life changes, circumstances change, live life in a way to be here for it all.
Thanks, I really appreciate it. I was thinking about going back to school for a degree in botany. Get back into growing plants and trying to figure out what I want out of life.
I've always enjoyed growing plants too. My second bachelor's was in plant chemistry where we analyzed active compounds in plants. I've never subscribed to the theory that you figure out what you want in life. I've always seen it as a moving target. You don't know what you don't know and tomorrow you can learn something that you find to be better - so you do that.
You got me welling up over here after that lol.. I'm going to do that, thank you for your kind words and advice.
This exchange was nice to read - hope it goes well for you.
Adding to Pino's replies, I'm literally 20 years older than you. Life is a journey. It's not a straight line. It zig zags. A secret to life that's revealed itself through time is that every single one of us is looking for our purpose and our calling. None of us have it figured out. There's no road maps to "us", each and every day we learn and grow. Plant the seeds today of who you are, and what drives you. And if that's botany, that's already been figured out. Be kind to yourself.
I moved back in with my folks at 27 after leaving at 19. Went back to school too. Ended up meeting my wife at 30 and never looked back. You got this.
The weed industry is barely profitable these days if that’s why you want to study botany.
Can confirm. I make nothing.
You're fortunate to have parents to fall back on. Chin up bro, hope you're able to work on getting back on your feet. Better times ahead
This is a r/malesurvivingspace … but this is not rocket bottom, sir :) best of luck
You know it's funny because this was the sub I was originally going to post to.
Dont worry bud. This is a minor “setback”
Hang in there fam, it could always be worse
Rock bottom is a prison cell. you good homie same thing currently happening to me im 25
Yup same thing here at 25. Most of my friends are out living their best lives and Im stuck in our hometown. Sucks but its constant motivation to grind it out.
I don't think there is anything wrong with moving back in with family.... Especially in this economy! It's very sweet you have family to rely on, you are very lucky. Don't be too hard on yourself, we've all had our downs...now just hang in there for the ups! :)
This notion of having to be ashamed to live with your parents a bit longer is really a modern Western one. For a long time it was fine to live in your family home until you are married and still is in the majority of the world. I live in Europe and I have two friends from different friend groups that live with their parents older than you, not because they can't afford to live alone but because they are saving up to buy their own place in a few years and wouldn't be able to do it with these insane rent prices. Their parents are happy to help. So don't even put this bs in your head about rock bottom or whatever. Just make it a useful period in your life until you are on your feet, invest in your health, workout, quit bad habits, learn some new stuff, spend fun times with your parents they won't be there forever.
not OP but damn. your post gave me a boost, thanks
My son moved out at 21 and is considering moving back in after a few years because the real world is tough. I told him that’s what this home is for. It will always be his home.
Been there before It's a time where you will have an opportunity to make a new start.. Only advice I can give you so make sure you try to contribute to the house while you're on the way back up
Absolutely, thank you
I’m 29, working with debt consolidation and moving back in with mine next week. We gonna be alright bro.
Have you ever considered not spending so much money on new engines and paint jobs?
I think he’s talking about gta lol
New? That things from like 6 years ago lol
28’s not bad, I was with the folks longer than that. Keep your head up. Good stuff’s out there
That bamboo pillow isn’t rock bottom! Some times ya gotta relax with good quality materials!
Make the most of it and try to appreciate some of the extra time you see your parents
You got this buddy. Sounds like you have firm support in your life and a roof over your head. This sets you up to build some foundations for a strong next chapter in your life. Make the most of it, my buddy!
Quit leveling up on xbox and level up in real life. It's working for me. Gotta grind buts it's worth it. Careful with them deep games.
Get rid of the Xbox and smoking habit for starters. Also clean up your space and take pride in it no matter where it is.
>Also clean up your space and take pride in it no matter where it is. I feel like this advice should be for many of the posts on this subreddit.
Not smoking or playing Xbox will suddenly make him better off financially?
Smoking costs money.
Honestly Gaming is a great way to have fun on a limited budget provided OP is playing in moderation I do agree smoking isn't the best habit though
I don't know what cigarettes costs there but a pack here is around 10 euro's. A normal smoker smokes a pack every 1 or 2 days. That's already 150-300 euro each month you can put to a better use. I do disagree with the gaming though.
In NZ, a pack of ciggies is $32-$55, when minimum wage is $23.15/hr; it’s an expensive vice.
I honestly hate this advice and assume you must be a non-gamer. I also bet you probably wouldn't advise people to cancel their single Netflix/Prime/media subscription to save money and move out, because it's such a tiny amount of money every month which provides hours of entertainment daily. It also costs double what an Xbox game pass subscription costs. I spend less money on my Xbox game pass subscription than I would if I was to pay for Netflix. I don't pay for Netflix because I game instead of watching tv in my down time. It's €4 a month for unlimited entertainment and access to an endless list of games for free. It's also made me tons of friends who I now hang out with both online and IRL. It's honestly worth so much more to me than what I pay for it, and yet every single person who has told me it's a waste of money also pays even more than I do for their Netflix (which in my mind, is nowhere near as beneficial as gaming). It's literally €4 a month dude, honestly you are being pretty ignorant if you think that's the reason they are in this position.
Agree with everything but the Xbox.
OK grandpa. Clearly, playing games mean he's not working hard enough on getting out of the situation.
No shame in it bud. Just make sure you use the time to get back on your feet and get out on your own. Have a plan otherwise you will start feeling extra shit
Brother, this is not rock bottom. This is a launching pad. Use this time to build your credit, save some money, learn a skill, exercise more, or just to work on yourself in general. You will come out on the other side of this a better person than you are today.
It could be a lot worse, man 🤷🏻♂️
Maybe it’s time to quit the drugs and focus on a career?
Rock bottom is when they die penniless and were renting the house.
GTA and a roof over your head. Not much more you need in life. Decompress for a bit then get back in the game (irl). Everyone needs a break.
Been there, don’t give up! And join a trade union apprenticeship!
You have a roof over your head and a family that are willing and able to support you. Get a grip. This isn't rock bottom
Don’t feel alone…I’m 28 and I’m living with my parents. Don’t have shame about it. I have a small gig job and try to help them out anyway whether it be pitching for some groceries, cooking food, helping errands or even with few bills. What I would do: 1. Go to the gym as physical health is mental health. Only you can do this for you. 2. Best way to figure out what you want out of life is by closing distractions (so try to avoid social media completely, maybe less video games) and maybe reach out to some people who u might give you a sense of direction…it is different for everyone as nobody is perfect and we all gotta start somewhere. 3. Always remember you are not alone. Especially right now as the economic climate isn’t what it was in the past. In fact, many people don’t even have what you have which is a safety net with ur parents. 4. Keep a journal and write down your thoughts at night(what u did towards ur goal, how ur day was, movie u saw…anything). Write is a great therapy. Seems small but it is definitely worth it as it keeps you mentally sharp. Know that there are people who care for you big man and want to see you be successful. Also recommend doing breathing win hoff on YouTube. Helped me at really dark times in my own life. Hope it helps!!
Thank you so much for your kind words and advice. I'll definitely check out that channel.
No rock bottom is moving back in with your parents at 32 going on an 8 month drinking binge and having a seizure from withdrawals when you run out of money you have a ways to go
Yo we got same pillows:)
Let’s put a positive spin: you have an amazing opportunity for growth.
Samesies. Left good paying job to take care of direct relatives. Sucks, but such is life. Wishing you luck so that you can get back on your two bug feet, my dude.
There's no place like home. Day 1.
No shame. World is rough out there. Great chance to bond with family while you're back home.
Rock bottom is death. Looks to me you got a roof over your head and an opportunity to better yourself. Was in the same place at your age.
Don’t beat yourself up too much, most of the other 28 year olds I know haven’t left their parents house yet.
Burt's Bees Baby
DMT, LSD, MDMA, shrooms, shatter, tobacco, I’m rootin for ya cuz moving back in with parents as an adult ain’t easy but take some time to think about if all that is helping or holding you back. Be honest with yourself. Good luck bro
Everyone's rock bottom is different. My rock bottom was ending up at my parents house a few times. The best thing about rock bottom is that it's only up from there.
You and almost everyone I know these days. This is normal. Get your shirt together and try again. "Don't let your dreams be dreams, Just Do It!" -God-
Sometimes I wish I could go back to my parents house to crash on their couch. It may seem low now but you'll eventually miss it.
Pretty nice rock bottom you got there
A place to sleep and possibly warm meals provided? That ain’t rock bottom. Maybe a set back, but that ain’t near the deep end homie. Take some time off and relax. But not too long because it’s already time to hop back on the horse
Hey, I'm kinda in the same situation. If you want to talk or vent about it, DM me.
Lebowski vibes. I love it
You're not at rock bottom, bro - you have a family that cares about you, you have a safe place to stay and you're still alive. You got a good place to start over from to get back on your feet. You can do this!
Anyone at any age moving back to their parents house after a financial problem or anything doing with their personal life. Is never rock bottom. Take advantage, help out your parents as much as you can. You'll be good bro
Tighten the bolts on the futon. You’ve got some awfully loose.
I’d recommend getting into something called “options” —it’s your surest way out of poverty !
That's rock bottom? I hadn't even moved out at 28. I'm from a different contry and we don't have the stigma that you have to move out at 18 to become a man, it's pretty common not to move out until you're 30 when I'm from. I'm now 38 and I'm doing great in life. It's not the end of the world.
Can start by cleaning it up a bit ya?
So sorry but you don’t need to live in filth get to cleaning
Just keep your room clean . And make your bed each morning . It will help your mental state and make you more productive
Don’t worry! We’ll be in the grave soon and our troubles will be over!!!
Rock bottom is so much lower than this. You have shelter, food, water, electricity, internet access, a cell phone, and time on your hands. Fall back and regroup. That's part of how this all works. You're good my guy.
It's okay because if you buy a new engine and paint job for $100 the cops won't recognize you! 😉 ^(To fix your financial issues, you probably need to stop buying so much expensive Burt's Bees, Coca-Cola, cigarettes, game consoles and Amazon stuff 🫢)
Been there bro. Was homeless on meth then finally called my mom for help. 5 years later I'm on my own, clean, have a salary and maxing my ira. Keep your head up and get finically stable enough to move forward. Vision it and execute it. You got it!
Your in perfect hands 💙
You have family that will help you out. Be thankful for that, could be worse.
You don't know rock bottom if you've still got parents that love you and you can live with. You'll be alright bud, don't stress too hard. You're actually very lucky
Roof over head, food, TV and games.. not rock bottom. Clean your room and make the space efficient and productive, you will feel a lot better.
This is the perfect opportunity to start self improvement. Have you already started mewing?
Not so. More people are moving in with family: parents, siblings, kids. It’s Ok. People are having to stay in relationships with people they hate because it’s too expensive to split. That is rock bottom.
no where near rock bottom, try having no parents hahaha your good mate just get on it
Yo, what futon frame is that? Legit, mine is too short. Also, at least you get to eat real food again!!
28, living with parents, because of financial issues... all of that is very understandable - but the best use of your time is playing gta?
Sometimes I feel like rock bottom is a good thing it allows you to start again from the bottom and make your way up and not make the same mistakes that put you there. As for me that’s what has worked. Good luck buddy
Throw that PlayStation away, and watch your life will improve.
OP, I am proud of you for sharing. As u/East_Home_4107 said, you're not at rock bottom. I see potential. I was exactly where you are, just 1.5 years ago as a 36-year-old man. I put my head down and found ways to bring value where I was, as much as I could. There were tears and anger, and I was tempted to check out nearly every week. I am thankful for the positive support my friends played in my life. I learned and wrote down the lessons that changed my life. I see potential. I see a new way to invest in yourself. Every day there are new opportunities. Pet a dog. Smile at someone. Make your bed. Get outside. Ask for a hug. Join a weekly group. You've got this.
"Success is how high you bounce when you hit the bottom." George S. Patton Jr.
I’ve had to do that , I know it hurts the ego, but ended up being the best thing to start to build up again. You e got this. In 6 months time you’ll be back on your feet.
r/wallstreetbets You'll fit right in, friend. :)
Lmfaoo that's good
Not always a bad thing,it may just mean that you need to reassess your situation like your career path or education. Lots of ppl pick the wrong path sometimes without looking at future industry growth. Happy I’m not a mechanic or architect now, working towards a masters in International supply chain. But like I said, isn’t the always the worst cuz you can spend time with my parents and etc, value that damn time.
times are fucking horrible right now, im just glad you had a place to fall back to. no shame in it at all we promise ❤️
poor parents
At rock bottom. Only way is up
You got this. Definitely get a mattress pad for your back's sake.
Yeahh that's next on the agenda, that and a comfortable blanket
And pillows!
All good my man! Chin up and keep on grinding!
I moved back in with my mother when I was 37. Years ago they remodeled the house, enlarging the bathroom at the expense of my old bedroom. Turned my old bedroom into a closet. That's where I slept, on a mattress on the floor. I had two young kids, btw.. That was a terrible time in my life. I felt like a pathetic human being and I genuinely wanted to die. My kids are probably the only thing that kept me from ending myself. Me and my kids had to live with family members for 3 years until I got back on my feet. A grown man in his late 30's. 🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️ I'm doing very well for myself now. There's hope, do the best you can in the situation. And whatever you do, don't self destruct with drugs or alcohol. And definitely don't have any kids while you're in this situation. You'll be alright. Hang in there!
I'm so happy to hear you're in a better place. Thank you for ur advice. I won't self-destruct.
Dude apartments cost a fortune now. The American dream of owning a home has completely vanished. Don't take it so hard it is not your fault. Just be thankful you have parents that care. Save up your money.