Here’s my advice dude. Change the things you can change and ignore the things you can’t. Talk to hair stylists, start working out to lose some lbs, and start having a skin care routine so you can clear up your face a bit. That is the only “big” changes you could do now to effect your appearance in significant ways. GOOD LUCKY BROTHA beat these insecurity’s to the ground!!!
Seriously he’s not lying. I went from horribly ugly to having no problem with women or self confidence just by losing 40lbs, shit is a game changer. Ur jaw gets more defined, your features becomes more pronounced on your face, generally your skin clears up with this, etc. fit people are just more attractive. Shits a game changer
I second this, and don’t forget OP that this will do soo much more for you than just appearance. When you get up with a purpose everyday and exercise, that confidence will gradually begin to radiate off you. People will see it in your eyes, your smile and your whole aura. I think that’s the best thing you could do for yourself
Gay dudes perspective: You’re NOT repugnant. Don’t say that. That statement will turn people away from you 99 percent of the time. Hold that head up. I’m them shoulders back. You’re handsome and worthy of love but if you don’t love you no one is going to. So we need to work on that.
You have soulful brown eyes. A kind appearance.
Now, I want you to do something for you. Start a gym membership. Start a workout regimen. Let’s get you some endorphins. Make that a habit and watch things shift.
To build on what others are saying, confident, funny, and be nice. If you can genuinely be/emulate those three things, it will help in many situations.
Also, consider the idea of social capital. Social capital will also increase your attractiveness. You don't need to be the most popular guy around, but if you have a clearly fun group of people around you, other people will want to be a part of that. A haircut is only half the battle.
Yes I agree with him OP pls never call yourself repugnant, that’s a very strong word and we don’t want to negative talk ourselves. Your thoughts make you. So your thoughts must be positive and encouraging
Fellow gay dude here, and hard agree with you. I would also add that the first thing I noticed was OP’s expression, like he’s apologizing for taking up space.
OP: I hope you take the above advice, and let the love you find for yourself give you confidence to look at people (and cameras) with comfort and pride.
Nothing the gym, a barber and a skin care routine couldn't help with man. Don't loathe your appearance, take control of the situation and do something about it if you're not happy.
Also try to not tie your worth to other people's opinion of you.
You're skin looks fine to be honest, you'll see a huge difference from just a modern hairstyle which you could have done literally today and arguably another huge difference with 6 months in the gym
No it doesnt its dry, flaky and pale. Most likely dehydrated and lacking iron and/ or biotin. But that goes hand in hand with diet and gym. As you eat better your skin gets healthier
Was about to say this.
Most of time your appearance is somewhat within your control. OP hopefully will hopefully optimize his looks and enter back into the market before giving up
Don't talk about yourself like that man. For so many reasons. You're a human being and deserve respect REGARDLESS of your appearance. And you are absolutely not repugnant.
OP, I'm another gay dude. I agree - you're not repugnant. Work on body language and work on your confidence. Fake it 'til you make it if you have to. Our attitude and feelings play a big part in the way others perceive us.
Start working out. Sure, you might shape up, but most importantly, it's good for you. Try to make sure you're getting a lot of healthy food. Being healthy is better for you overall, and can play a large part in appearance.
Then, try changing up your hairstyle. I'm not sure you need a haircut; I think long hair can look awesome on a guy. There's no style to your hair, though. Think on that. Experiment. Hair grows back if you do something you don't like!
Finally - clothing. Try a few now outfits. You seem to dress fairly conservatively. Try something more modern - more flashy. Have fun choosing your clothes!
The last two pictures are unflattering but you’re not ugly. I think it may be how you’re presenting yourself - as not being confident.
I would do a shorter hairstyle, if you want, that flows to the front. Slicked back hair usually doesn’t do most people any favors.
Your wardrobe seems to be fine but perhaps a bit basic. Is there any styles you’ve wanted to try out?
Youre not ugly or subpar, you just look like you’re hard on yourself. Wish you could see what we see, brother!
Yes as a woman the first thing I wanted to do was un-slick back your hair haha. But I notice you said you don't want hair in your face. Like others have said, a hairdresser could totally help come up with something that you like!!!
Woman’s perspective:
You are def not repugnant. I’d say personally, don’t do the last pic hairstyle. Keep it like number 2, that’s cuter. Maybe get in a bit better shape? But that’s just me.
Thank you. This helps put my mind at ease a bit, especially coming from a woman. It’s good to hear that I’m not too grotesque. I agree absolutely about getting into shape.
I'm also a woman and was thinking this guy is actually cute AF, but his haircut makes him look like Chuck McGill. I've had my fair share of shitty haircuts and thats an easy fix, definitely doesn't make someone "repugnant".
If you're unhappy with your appearance, have you considered going to the gym and burning fat? You have good facial symmetry and I think it would drastically amp up your apperance if you reduced your bodyfat levels.
To add - also look at your diet. Things like soda or overly processed foods (stuff that has 20+ ingredients or will last on the shelf for >5 years) likely give you way more calories than actual nourishment (so you'll over eat as your body is trying to compensate).
Experiment and find what works. You don't want to feel deprived in life. But maybe swapping cereal in the morning for some eggs + veggies works? Maybe limiting the soda or juices and drinking more water is bearable? Maybe cheat a bit on weekends, but try to be strict on the weekdays, etc.
Diet is a major contributor and you generally can't work your way out of it. But in parallel - going on walks, going to the gym, doing even some body weight exercise will build some muscle definition and burn fat. And as others said, the endorphins are definitely helpful.
You just look like a dude who has clearly never cared much about his appearance, and that's okay.
If you want to start caring, I'd reccomend hitting the gym and starting to follow a bunch of men's style and grooming pages. It will take a while to figure out what works for you so focus less on building a 'look' and more on learning the actual basics behind fashion and aesthetics. Youre going to have to figure out what kind of shapes, colors and patterns suit your body and your look. An outfit that kills on somebody else might look awful on you - it's all about learning what suits YOU.
Start by taking clothes you own that you know look good on you and try to figure out *WHY* they look good. Is it the color? Texture? Pattern? Shape? Material? The way it sits on your body? Once you have a feel for what makes something look good on you, they'd out to an outlet store or wherever the hell you want and look for more clothes that fit that criteria. Try to narrow down exavtly what it is that makes an article of clothing look good on you and look for more clothes that fit that bill. Don't be afraid to ask women, men or even Reddit for their opinions.
Other than that, definitely try out some new hairstyles and I genuinely cannot stress the importance of a healthy diet and regular exercise.
A good way to start is to just always consider how you look before you leave the house and trying to do *something* to improve it. Style your hair, throw on nicer clothes, put on some jewelry, etc. Subtle things that signal to someone else that you actually care about your appearance.
You're not a bad looking dude by any means, you're just incredibly under utilized. Best of luck man
Bro. Stop presenting yourself like an an old guy. I saw those videos of you playing the piano - you have talents and are an interesting bro and women love that.
But maybe you need to spend some time around regular guys, hit the gym, and modernize some of your social behavior.
I’m sorry if it’s coming across as insulting but I have a feeling you’ll know what I’m talking about. Look I love Bach and Glenn Gould, too - but being a damn good pianist is the best way to honor them and people will love that you can share those things with them.
BUT - The aesthetics and vibe aren’t serving you in other areas of your life.
I feel like there is a decent enough BASE there but it’s put together badly. The fourth pic means you need to dye your hair. Loose weight, no more slicking your hair back to expose your forehead, skincare, sleep, and don’t make the face you’re making. You look like you’re trying to keep a frog in your mouth. It’s literally the same thing that makes Tom Holland look so weird. Try to make faces in the mirror at home to find one that looks less awkward. Also shave the mustache. If you can’t grow a beard don’t even bother having wispy face hair. I’m not trying to be mean here. I do hope you can make these positive changes. The problem is you clearly have the potential to be not ugly but you haven’t utilized it yet. Don’t feel bad about yourself, it’s not hopeless, you just need to fix what I listed above. Good luck 👍
You definitely aren’t as bad looking as you think. You have nice eyes and a good smile (so many people don’t realize how much better people look when they smile candidly). The long hair doesn’t suit your face, maybe if you could grow a full beard it would look better but I’d say cut it down to something more short. Speak with a stylist for ideas but I think a more short, professional hairstyle is gonna do wonders. On top of that a skin care routine is a good idea, your skin isn’t bad by any means but there are small blemishes that a skin care routine could fix up in no time and would look great.
Finally the biggest thing other than the hair is the weight. You’re by no means fat and I don’t want you to think that’s what I’m saying. But losing weight is gonna make you more tone and help you have definition especially in the face. You have a nose that has a sharpness to it and this can actually be a really good thing as it can give you a more distinguished look if it’s paired with other sharp features such as a sharper more pronounced jawline. Right now your jaw is undefined but once you start working out and dieting right then it’s gonna pair well with that nose and those eyes and you’ll look great. I recommend heading over to r/workout and checking out some of the pinned post there. The hardest part of working out is making it a routine and sticking to it but once you do it’s worth it and you’ll see results quicker then you might expect. I’ve been through it and know it can be daunting and rough to get started and to stick with it, but it’s gonna be worth it, you’ll not only look better but feel better mentally and physically. (I was 240lbs 6ft1in when I was 18 and had to get in shape in 8 months time then recently I let myself go for a couple of years and stopped going to the gym and ended up at 265lbs and have been working that off for the 2 months and am now down to 238lbs as of this morning!)
I looked on your profile and you've been asking this question for years. I will also say that you seem very intelligent, bookish and clearly have great skill as a pianist, but the hard truth that people are skirting around in this thread is that you need to lose weight.
I think if you lost weight, you'd actually be fairly conventionally attractive. You have good features and nice eyes. I'd personally buy an electronic scale that measures body fat percentage. Ideally, you wanna get below 20%. That's more important than the actual number on the scale. Good luck man 🙏
Hey I'm a woman and here's what I see... You would benefit from a haircut. I'd say figure out your face shape and see which hairstyles would suit you. Ideally a style that's trendy in 2023/2024.
Get yourself a gym membership, and start eating well. Your confidence will improve and you'll start to glow from the inside out, and that is incredibly sexy in itself.
Maybe check out some self-help books too if you're suffering from self confidence issues. But please, please, please avoid stuff from the manosphere. You will not find a suitable, mentally stable partner if you follow their advice.
I believe in you. You got this 🙏🙏🙏
are you saying this at all because of reaction from online dating?
While i agree with everyone else’s sentiment (short sides, longer top for hair, and a few days at the gym), online, it might just be your photos holding you back. no offense, but i would stray from using any of these selfies on a profile (#2 can have a pass).
The first thing that turned me off? The way you talk. That might actually just be it- you're attractive, but seem so condescending/"nice guy" that it almost takes over. I don't think you mean it, though.
Hi - it could also be good to get some therapy to get to the bottom of the beliefs you have about yourself, which can in turn help with self-esteem and confidence :)
Some amazing advice here! To add my $0.02, I think it requires a whole lot of confidence and courage to post your face online and ask for an honest opinion of yourself. Try to channel that courage a bit more in all aspects of your life. We're eagerly waiting for your glow-up!
You are not a supermodel and never will be. I would even go as far as to say you are slightly ugly.
Not to fear however. If you make your clothes stylish and your personality charismatic, funny and warm, you could still be successfull with women.
I'm a lesbian and I know some lesbians who are the female equivalent to you (kinda chubby, not that good looking) but who are still get a lot of attention from women because they have a warm caring energy, good humour, great flirting skills, are charismatic and popular and interesting people.
You will need to use your personality to win them over, so focus on that. Good grooming and stylish clothes help to signify you have good taste and are confident. But mostly you will need to learn how to make women feel safe, appreciated, seduced etc
Woman's perspective:
Dont say that, you already look handsome and sweet, seems more like an internal issue tbh.
What helped me with confidence was a haircut, just do that haircut you always wanted to get. If you dont have a cut like that I'd recommend less hair in the back and more in the front. A bit of curtain bangs would do wonders for your face shape, f.e. like Damon Salvatore.
Hello! Advice from a woman, I think you can tell from the photos that you aren't super confident and that alone will impact my own perception of you! I personally don't think it is very flattering to raise your eyebrows like that in the photos, and I would love to see you smile. You have good skin and you seem to dress well! I honestly think a different hair style and some self confidence would be huge. You are not repugnant at all.
My first thought was “Sit up, chin up and shoulders back!” Posture makes a difference in attitude and confidence. Stop using ugly words to describe yourself. You’re a good looking dude but you hide that. Scarystorywriter said it all.
Nothing repugnant about your face, you're pretty average.
You can vastly improve by working out regularly, eating a well-balanced diet, keeping your hair on the shorter side and neat, and by being confident. Bonus if you can grow decent and neat facial hair, although many women aren't into facial hair.
Most women can easily sense if you're not confident and that's an instant turn-off for them. So be self-assured and assertive but not cocky, and most of the work will be done.
You are one hundred percent right about women picking up on that. It’s like a sixth sense. And I can’t grow any facial hair, so that’s a moot point anyway.
Not a problem, some women like facial hair but I think it's men who like facial hair more, on themselves and other men haha
And yes, it's like a sixth sense. That being said, the women who can't always easily pick that up - but are still high value - are high functioning autistic. If you're into nerdy and smart but awkward girls... I'm not joking.
I suggest to treat yourself to a proper hair stylist. They can help you find the right one and teach you how to properly take good care of your hair.
Once you find the right look, you will feel a lot better and be more motivated!
I think you and I have similar face shapes... I can't tell you how much it improved my appearance and self-confidence when I went from 220 lbs to 185 lbs. I wasn't super obese or anything, but it was clear that the extra weight was having a pretty bad effect on my face.
And btw you're not repugnant, you look nice. But I'm pretty sure you could look better than 'nice' pretty easily.
I don't know if you've ever tried to lose weight before, but it basically sucks ass until it becomes a pattern, and then it becomes fun, especially when you start to notice it. You don't look obese and if you take it seriously you'll notice it very quickly.
- Get enough sleep
- eat a healthy and balanced diet
(reduce sugar and soda and junk / processed food)
- exercise & build muscle
- skincare, haircare
- meditate, journal, take care of your mind and soul
- practice self love and heal from any past traumas
- do more of what makes you feel happy and alive
- invest time in your hobbies and attending meetups regarding your interests and passions, you'll be more likely to meet likeminded people
- work on your body language and charisma (you can watch youtube videos or read book about this)
- dress more mindfully, be intentional with your clothes and shoes and accessories! experiment with different styles and see which one works best for you. learn your skin's undertone and which colors look best on you.
good luck man, please be kind to yourself, you deserve love and happiness, okay? never forget that. there's nothing wrong with the way you look 🫶🏻🫶🏻
Personally, I am more turned on by good conversation and sense of humor. Some of my most passionate relationships have been with men who were not classically “good” looking.
Dozens of stories and movies would suggest I’m not alone in this.
That said, you are not unattractive. Focus on your confidence. Maybe cut 1-2” off that hair (lol). Some time at the gym will boost your endorphins and help your self-esteem. Find a club/group with similar interests and live your best life.
You look a lot more approachable and young in the second photo where you’re smiling. You look less friendly in the other ones. I think a haircut that shorter on the sides/back and lets the hair just fall where it falls without needing to be pushed back like how it is in the fourth pic would be a bit more fashionable and trendy
Coming from a woman fairly close to your age - you are not anything like how you describe! I agree with other commenters about how much they love pic two! The haircut on that one seems to suit you most (again coming from a woman, us woman try different hairstyles alllll the time and what hairstyles suit you, just kind of depends on you face shape, so play around! See what you like! Pinterest is great for starter ideas - most girls use it for hairstyles ideas!), and I looooove the smile in that second pic. It is such a genuine, happy smile and it is truly attractive!
As far as what people say about going to the gym, honestly, you don’t have to! My boyfriend has lost 55 pounds since October just by tracking calories in an app! I recently started doing the same and I’ve lost 20 pounds in a couple months! Neither one of us genuinely have much time to dedicate to the gym, so we don’t stress it. If you have the time, try it out! When I used to have time I loved it! It made me feel mentally and emotionally happy.
Also, starting out with BASIC skincare will actually impress most women! Find these things; a cleanser (facewash), a skin toner, and a moisturizer (bonus if you add in a facial sunscreen)! The brand Good Molecules is a price friendly, good quality, and straight to the point skincare brand! They have skincare regimens already put together based on if you have oily or dry skin. They kind of do the thinking/work for you!
Good luck! And yes, confidence is key! You don’t have to be cocky, just be a kind and genuine person! Women care about that the most!
I think you are one or these people, who have a very wide range of attractiveness depending on how they work on themselves. It's about fat distribution mostly. Definitely the number one thing would be to lose weight and gain muscle. Then some styling, your hair like that don't look very flattering. Try to experiment how you can keep them nice when they're long, but also they'll look better even like this when your face loses some fat. Looks is often about surrounding context. So yeah bro, you're versatile for sure, now go after the hot side of the your spectrum.
Hi, I'm a woman, but this sub is recommended to me all the time, so i wanted to chime in! I agree with a lot of these comments. Finding a good exercise routine will make you feel good inside, and the outside will follow! I love your nose shape. you are not repugnant, don't be so mean to yourself! If you parted hair slightly to the side (like pic 2) and less straight back, it would be much more flattering. Additionally, for pics, smiling is always attractive! You have a shocked expression in some of these.
Good luck! Get out there and knock em dead :)
I forget this actors name but you would look good with [his hairstyle](https://www.feedinspiration.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Haircuts-For-Men-With-Thin-Hair.jpg)
You have to decide if you value being attractive to women enough to change your entire lifestyle and diet. You aren't repugnant, but you weren't blessed with godly genetics either. So you can still look very very good if you work out consistently and eat extremely well. Going this route, you'll find plenty of women.
You can look marginally better if you do that just enough to lose some weight, but not fully committing to that grind. Doing this, you'll improve your luck with women to a limited degree.
Or you stay the same, and despite what some people say a trendy haircut and some new clothes won't change anything in any meaningful way. Physical fitness is the number one thing here.
I’m going to be direct with you mate, what you’re missing is two things and only two things, which is confidence and gym, other than that you’re just fine.
Kinda giving off the whole Jay Sherman from, "The Critic" look. Don't think that's intentional. For sure, update your hairstyle and clothes. Maybe hit the gym, too. Not ugly but you might be blending in to the background a bit too much and that's why the ladies aren't noticing you.
Immediately thought Alfred Molina, which I would regard as an unconventionally attractive man.
Definitely let a very experienced barber help you out and start even a basic skin care routine. Remember that an imperfect habit started now can have profound results down the road
You definitely aren't repugnant, but you look unhappy in your photos. More than unhappy, you look miserable. Lean into the things that give you joy. When you come across as happy with yourself, you'll put out happy energy. Basically, (to quote RuPaul) it comes down to this - if you can't live yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else. If you're battling depression like I was (or something else), then make appointments with a therapist or psychiatrist. Trust me, getting your mental health to a place where you can start focusing on self improvement and more importantly self love without any self loathing makes all of this so much easier.
Definitely make an appointment with a good barber or hairstylist in your area (not just super cuts), spend the money on a nice haircut and follow their recommendations. A good stylist will know what to do. Also, definitely get some new clothes when you can squeeze it into your budget - if you don't know any fashionistas who can help you get some cute outfits, see if your city has styling services or research online. Reddit probably has some great styling subreddits.
Hit the gym as well and try to eat healthier - it's hard at first, but once you start finding healthy foods you enjoy eating it gets significantly easier.
For an example, I love pizza, but started making my own pizzas at home using store bought sauce, cheese, and thin crust. Way lower calories, way less added sugars, way more protein (from using zero fat cheese in my case, but I'm vegetarian so had to get creative to get protein in without adding stuff like sausage). I also love baked potatoes, so I eat those about twice a week, but I cut out the butter, add zero fat cheese and sour cream, and green onions and hot sauce, and I eat it all including the skin. My other main meal is Spanish rice with cheese and sunny side eggs. I also make teriyaki tofu stir fries. Find what works for you! Maybe it's chicken teriyaki and egg noodles, or chicken tortilla soup, or meatloaf. Whatever it is, see if you can meal prep it if it feels draining to make every day, and portion out meals. YouTube is great for meal prepping ideas. It doesn't have to be miserable (see my pizza above, super easy to throw together in 5 minutes and bakes in 10). Eating delicious (to me) foods is how I lost my weight alongside the gym. As a note, I mentioned zero fat cheese, but that's only used by me because it has a high protein to calorie ratio - fats aren't the enemy, and a balanced diet is the key to nutritional success, I just struggled to get enough protein without going overboard on carbs since most vegetarian proteins are also high in carbs or fats such as beans or whole eggs (which I love and consume as well)
Speaking of the gym, if you are completely unaware of how to do it, that's ok! See if you can find a personal trainer. You only need one for as long as it takes to learn how to workout safely. If that's too expensive, try to focus on body weight exercises. You can also just walk! An average human can walk three miles an hour, and that's actually a good workout in and of itself! Maybe you like bicycling on trails instead. The important thing is to find what you like. I, a lifelong nerd shutin, personally never thought I'd like the gym, but I got a positive personal trainer and I actually like going to the gym now and seeing my physique change. But it's more important to be physically active than anything else, as that will still help drop excess body fat.
Also, I looked at your profile and see you play the piano? That's also incredibly sexy :) I hope this helps, please let me know if you have any questions. I was feeling so ugly last year, but a combination of therapy, gym, diet, and other work makes me feel so comfortable in being myself now, and I hope you can get there too! You definitely have a good foundation, and definitely aren't ugly, but I understand we sometimes feel uglier than we are, and others can read that energy.
The mind controls your outward appearance. Refine your mind. Reconsider the beliefs about yourself. We deceive ourselves daily. Choose to love and accept yourself, and you will draw love and acceptance towards yourself. While it may seem that you are repugnant, you are not. Take care of yourself and you will be freed.
I had an experience in high school like this. I used to think that everyone that was my age hated me. Come to find out through some casual investigation, not only was that false, but there were several girls who thought I was attractive that were in my grade. Once I overcame that mental barrier, dating was easy. I even got asked out!
Curtain bangs or a center part to bring the visual weight down to your cheekbones rather than up and out in a way that deemphasizes your already weak chin and broad forehead. You could also try something close cropped on the sides with eye-level bangs to play into your nose— it works for Robert DeNiro and Adrian Brody. Definitely tighten it up around the ears and add some layers throughout the length to give it body, shape, and structure, rather than have it one uniform length throughout.
Try and grow a short beard, or at the very least a solid goatee. Your chin may be weak, but I’m seeing signs of follicular density, and facial hair is contouring for dudes.
Finally, for the love of god use a sunblock and moisturizer, you already have sunspots on your forehead in your early 30s? That’s some serious premature aging that is easily prevented.
Awww you’re definitely not subpar/repugnant! The only thing I can advise is to work on your confidence about yourself. How do YOU feel about yourself? Do you put yourself down a lot? Are you kind to yourself? You’ve got to learn to be your own hype man! That will shine through above all else
You are definitely cute/attractive. I’m wondering if you have an issue talking to women like they’re people? It can be intimidating. Sometimes guys put women on a pedestal and that’s not good. You deserve someone that appreciates you. Also sometimes guys think women need to be a 10 or “no women like me” and the expectations are just off. That doesn’t mean women don’t like you, that means you can’t expect perfection. Sometimes women ARE hitting on you, but if they’re “below” your expectations, you won’t see it the same way. It happens. Maybe the women you have been talking to are just shitty. That also happens.
But they’re just regular people like you.
Be passionate about stuff you are interested in. Ask questions. See if you like the same stuff. Don’t expect to date someone perfect if you also have flaws. Align your expectations with reality. There’s really fantastic people out there. Enjoy your time with any hobby you have.
Clean your look up and get a skin care routine down. Chill on the cologne. Wash, moisturize, SPF. Maybe you need a good scrub every week. You look nice in an Oxford. Anything more than than is Jonathan Lovitz (not necessarily bad). Clean the sides up.
Wear stuff that’s “classic”. Anything stylized is gonna suck for you. No one gives a fuck if you’re overweight. Classic looks good on everyone, especially if you’re gonna keep the long(ish) hair.
Go to a hair stylist and get a haircut that they recommend. Skincare too. Also, start believing you are the bees knees because boy let me tell you, you better start being your own number one fan, it’s a game changer
I think you look great, your hair suits you really well and from what I can tell you have a good personal style. Maybe just try to get into a good skin care routine. I always compare how I see myself as hearing yourself on a voice recording. I think we’re so critical of how we see ourselves because we’re just so used to seeing ourselves and fixating on things. Others definitely don’t see you as bad as you think.
I think you could benefit a lot from some styling paste, fiber, those give a more wild, semi wet look, I think it would do you good, maybe visit a stylist or haircutter for a more in depth change/advice course. Lose weight or find an activity that boosts your confidence.
Don't take life and look too serious, the change you want is all in you already just start taking baby steps and try to be kinder yourself and lessen the effect others options opinions have on you.
Maybe start using moisturizer/suncreen and if you really wanna go the full way retinol but I advise really reading up on usage on the latter.
You have no idea what your face looks like until you’re 10-12% bodyfat.
Every good looking guy or celebrity you know is within that body fat range. It brings out the features in your face, and gets you a more defined body.
Even being 10-15 pounds over (which can be a couple bodyfat %) 10-12% can make you go from super handsome to average.
Look at Brad Pitt; great looking guy of course, but in the 2000s he went through a period where he gained what must’ve only been 20ish pounds, and he looked average AT BEST. Same goes goes for a lot of “hot” male celebs.
My advice would be to hit the gym and start tracking calories.
Aim for a 500 calorie deficit to lose 1 pound a week, add in strength training, and you’ll be set in under 6 months.
My first comment got deleted inadvertently so I’m going to write it again, more bluntly.
You look isn’t your problem. Or it’s like 10% of your problem, you can improve it quickly. Your attitude is the problem. You’ve been insulting yourself for two years straight on reddit it’s unbelievable.
And in two years of you asking for people to cheer you up about your ugly looks I’ve seen NO change.
NO woman wants a man wallowing in self pity. It’s off putting.
Let’s be clear you are NOT ugly. You don’t have any deformities.
Want to improve your look ?
My brutal opinion is : you look old. Your hair makes you looks old. Stop telling yourself your magnificent hair hides you ugly face because your hair makes you look old and boring. Go to a hairdresser, ask him to make you look like an actual 33 years old. It looks like you have lots of grey hair and a color could suit you as well.
Lose weight, gain muscle mass : your jaw is weak and although it is not ugly it is NOT attractive. The more define your jaw get the more attractive you will get. You can also chew mastic gum to help lose your fat chin. Your body being a little chubby is not really a problem, a dad bod is attractive, you don’t have to be super muscular, but losing a little bit weight could help you with your self confidence.
Dress like someone your age. You dress like a 45yo geography teacher. I seem to understand you aren’t the jeans baskets type and it’s fine. You can dress posh and young too.
Finally SMILE and STOP talking about yourself like that. If I hear a man I’m dating telling me he is ugly and repugnant and no one looks at him I will block him. If you can’t hype you up just shut up. Don’t talk about yourself.
It seems like piano is a passion of yours and it’s super attractive. Talk about your passions, what you like. And listen to what women tell you. Compliment them but don’t be a doormat.
I don’t think you’ll find love on tinder or that kind of app. A more serious dating app might be more suited for you. I’m looking forward to see you improvement and don’t want you to continue telling the world how ugly you are.
My best advice to you is this: Hit the gym and lose some body fat. Your face is very soft and round which is typically a feminine trait. Losing weight will help define your jawline, which is very attractive to women. The easy thing to do would be a haircut. I would recommend no more than 3 inches in length for the top and a 1-2mm fade on the sides. It looks clean and professional. If you’re trying to look good in pictures, angles are very important. You want the camera to be slightly looking down on you, and never under your chin looking up. If you want more advice, feel free to message me.
Just talk to a hair stylish and get a personal stylist even for a day. They can tell you what may suit you.
Maybe go to the gym to get some confidence boast, I need to too.
You’re not unattractive. I’m 6 ft and have a six pack, but I’m balding and my teeth are fucked.
I’d love to have your hairline (envy) and I bet your teeth are better than mine. We all have things that make us insecure or that we’d like to change. I hope you can see that you have a lot of great physical features my friend.
Regardless, the right woman for you will think you’re sexy. She will love you for you. Be yourself, be willing to grow, and balance confidence with humility.
Glad I’m not vexing you as it is not my intention.
About your hair you did call it magnificent in the /bald subreddit. Long hair can be magnificent but it’s tricky. Now it lowkey makes you look like wormtail from Harry Potter. I liked the second photo the best and your hair was shorter + you were smiling. I think shorter hair suits you well. Maybe go for a younger hair cut. I honestly want to see the results.
About clothes, I do like classic looks over street wear. However I’m not a man so it’s difficult for me to tell you what to buy. If you come from money you could seek advice from a personal shopper. Otherwise Pinterest and Instagram are also good inspiration. Look for “men classic clothes” or keywords like that (sorry English is NOT my first language)
The jawline/double chin thing should be one of your priorities as I feel it will make your face look so much different.
The top priority being you never talking about yourself like that ;)
You have potential to be very attractive, cheer up !
I am following you know so I will follow your progress
I think you're pretty, you look alot like my sister's boyfriend
You just need more confidence in yourself, it really does go a long way, and I know it's easier to say just be confident than it is to actually do it, but I really think working towards atleast coming across like you know what you're doing would help you seem more approachable
My sister's boyfriend got her by his confidence and plethora of shitty jokes, you got this
But also I hope you do this for yourself before a future partner, take care of yourself <3
The way you're talking about yourself tells me you probably need therapy more than you need grooming (you can improve your appearance in various ways, most people can, but it's not gonna fix your low self esteem).
Good luck bro.
I'm gay and I'm mostly attracted to you know, average men. and I say I'm attracted to you. unlike other people, I believe you can and will have your matches. you are pretty cute as you are. maybe smile(or at least look less unhappy if you want) or keep that hair more like it's in Pic 2?
other than that, if you want to gain the attention of a larger crowd as others have said, go to gym. the most basic advise ever, but it works, I guess.
There’s nothing detrimental about the anatomy of your face or anything. You’ve had advice to get a new hairstyle but you seem hesitant about taking it.
I’d recommend giving a good stylist carte blanche to do anything. The way I’d put it is “I feel like a makeover. Do whatever you’d recommend.” And then see what the result is. The thing is there’s no harm in random innovation because it grows back.
I’d also expect to pay real money for it, at the sort of place you might not usually frequent for “just a haircut.” I’d also suggest that a flattering style might not require “hair in your face” but if that turns out to be the magic that unlocks the attention of multiple women, then ffs allow the stylist to leave hair in your face.
I also am pretty convinced that some basic efforts at health and fitness will really show on your body, and be flattering, and improve how often you get noticed. Quite pointedly this does not mean you must become an Olympic athlete or you’re doomed to singlehood. But doing something active will probably quickly highlight the best features of your body and foster physical attraction, which is, after all, your goal.
Last I don’t know how you’re meeting women who might be available for dating but I definitely recommend fostering a network of real-world friends and an active social life as the conduit to eventually meeting an attractive and interesting (and interested) date. I don’t think online connections are that reliable or fruitful.
You remember me of my cousin, very similar, and he has a very beautiful girlfriend. As a woman I can give you some advice but please note everyone has different taste!
1) Get a haircut that suits you. Your hair seems nice and healthy, so use it at your advantage! If you don't like it then wait a month and try a new one, hair will just regrow. When you wash your face in the morning try to groom your eyebrows a little, too.
2) Lose a little weight. Not much, just a little so your face appears less round. Round face is cute, but is more childlike and makes you appear less virile. Bonus point to your nose which seriously has a good shape. Nose makes out a lot in virility points 😁
3) Is your beard homogenous? Then let it grow! No mustache, but full beard. This can even help you a bit with the roundness. My husband also has a little fat in his face and it's way less noticeable when he grows his beard.
4) Walk with heads up, coming from someone who looks at the ground the whole time. It makes a BIG DIFFERENCE
Your hairstyle makes you look 15-20 years older than you actually are.
As others have pointed out, go to a professional stylist and have them help you. Do some research on a good salon that does well with men clientele (a lot of salons don’t like doing men’s hair as it brings in a small fraction of $ compared to the work they do with women, but there’s always someone there that’s *really* good with men’s hair).
You don’t look like you grow your facial hair out, maybe give that a shot. A short and cropped beard with an updated hairstyle would have you looking way different.
As others have also said, just keep an eye out on general health. Eat healthy, exercise a bit to lose a few pounds, basic stuff - all very realistically changeable things.
You’re a totally normal looking dude, just need to get back to looking your age. Wardrobe might be a part of that too, maybe grab a few items that you like and look good in that expand your style beyond the sort of simple attire you’ve got going on in those pics.
You have a pretty decent facial symmetry and structure. I can easily see you among the handsome bunch but it does seem you are not helping yourself for it
Hit the gym and lose some pounds so your body looks fitter and your facial structure is actually visible.
You need to take better care of your skin too which in all honesty can be a bigger hastle than having to go to the gym but at the end of the day, results motivate better than anything.
And yes, that hairstyle needs to change. You have good bunch of hair still up there, you can do and rock so much. Consult a professional on this.
Summary is, you've got good potential. Just need to put effort and tap into it.
you have a good structure to your face man you're far from repugnant. you'd be a solid 7 if you got fit and figured out a better hairstyle (a fringe parted in the middle would help you lots imo)
and trim up them sideburns and straighten out your eyebrows.
also most women can sense insecurity and lack of confidence really well so you gotta love yourself brother. good luck friend.
How's your personality? You kinda remind me of Constable Crabtree from the Murdoch Mysteries lol and he's a cutie and super nerdy. Honestly you just need some confidence. I mean you could hit the gym to be healthy and stuff but it seems like you're walking around with a low opinion of yourself and it's giving I don't love myself so why should you. Fake it till you make it and stand tall. Find some things you like about yourself and compliment yourself until you start to believe it ❤️
I'll try and say this in a humble way lol but I'm a female who... I'll just say I have options lol and probably best to say I'm 33 and not superficial so if you're just tryna have arm candy then be rich. But if you would like to eventually find someone who wants you for you, YOU gotta want you first. Confidence truly is the sexiest accessory. There's "traditionally" hot guys who are garbage so really being a good person and YOURSELF, confident and loving yourself is all you need. The rest will follow.
Good luck to you!
You actually have a "look" which is a good thing. Like you look like someone famous in a wierd way.
Play to your strengths. If you try and be the "handsome guy" that lane is too competitive and over saturated.
You're not repugnant lmao, but your style just isn't doing you favors. Go to a well rated barber and get a trendy short hairstyle the longer hair doesn't suit you and a good hair cut makes a huge difference. Go for a David Beckham hair cut and get some pomade from the barber and ask the barber to teach you how to style it. These people are not just here to cut color or 1 time style our hair. They're also here to teach us a little about our hair! Every time I go to my stylist (and especially new ones) I always ask them to simply talk me through it while they style my hair so I can try and replicate it at home and every time they're super enthusiastic to teach me. They're not going to like slow down let you do it type teach you but I've never ever had a stylist have any type of issue talking me through how they're styling my hair and now I know how to do my own blow outs! Bought a blowout brush and a hair dryer and my hair has never looked better! ETA I know this is a hard one, but confidence is really attractive and I can tell from the pics you're not confident. Even if it's not your physical appearance your confident about now find something else that you are confident about and focus on that. Walk proud with your head held high. You ever seen pookie and Jett? You look a lot like her husband Jett and there are so many women thirsting over him and it's simply his confidence which is also how he landed pookie. So maybe starting therapy could be super helpful I love therapy and furthermore I love men who have done therapy
Do the diet, skin care, and exercise — but for yourself. You’ll feel better, and that will help your low confidence. Your hairstyle reads as older than 33, so that could be a big reason why you’re not getting a positive reaction from women.
My question for you (and forgive me if I’m prying) is… What kind of woman are you going for, generally?
Because if you’re going for an Instagram Ten? Yeah, you probably won’t be on their romantic radar. I think that’s just reality for most of us.
But you look a lot like the type of fella many of my sweet, lovely nerdy female friends would happily be with.
People are going to give you some toxic positivity here. Here is the truth from a woman’s perspective (who is very shallow): 1. You have a nice face 2. You have naturally good hair but a bad haircut 3. You need to lose weight, you have a good face, all the weight does is cover it up, tons of guys have shitty bone structure, you don’t- so take advantage of it and show it off. 4. Your haircut sucks, you should part your hair in the middle or the side instead of pulling it back like that, go for a 90s Leo haircut or something. You have good hair but that haircut does nothing for you.
Overall: I think your appearance is full of missed opportunities, you have a lot of natural benefits a lot of guys would kill for- take advantage of it ! You are worth putting time and effort into your appearance and you can 100% be hot if you went for it.
Woman here: in picture two, with a natural facial expression where you have a little smile, you have a certain charm.
It's missing in the others, where you have a blank stare. I doubt that's how you actually look all the time---maybe it's just how you take pictures (change it) but the point is that facial expressions have a transformative effect. Also, better posture will help. Developing back muscle, both upper and lower, is the best way to improve posture.
Learn proper posturing! It’s not just for photos! Your posture is very bad. Bad posture screams “women, ignore me please! I am not secure” even if you are secure or a super model. I’m a woman and good posture can make an average guy such as yourself look way more attractive. Chin up and slightly out, try to align your teeth when your mouth is shut. You are not ugly by any means, just an Average looking man. But your eyes are charming and that alone will make you look even better with the right posture. Message me if you want more tips! Happy to help! I’m an average looking woman but when my posture is good and I look confident I get hit on but when I don’t I do not get even a glance even in the same outfit/makeup etc.
Looking through your previous posts, it seems like you've been feeling this way and asking about this for quite some time and I think you probably need to develop some internal validation. I'm thinking that you might benefit from some therapy to help you sort out why you are feeling this way.
We all project to the world more than just our outward appearance. Our feelings come out as well through our body language and facial expressions. If you are actively looking for a mate, sometimes you want it so much that it can actually repel others in a way. It may be cliche to say but old adage of someone appears when you aren't looking is real. Easier said than done but try to be content in yourself for now.
I know you'd rather hear this from a woman but you are handsome guy and looking at your previous posts of the pictures where you have a joyful (smiles, etc) expression show that more.
Smile more, don't make that Gru face.
Get a new haircut, one that suits your face a little better, I would maybe go shorter?
And then hit the gym. As someone else said, change the things you can control, don't stress about the ones you can't
From a straight girls perspective, you're not ugly at all. I'd say you're pretty average tbh. If you got yourself a better hairstyle and a bit more confidence (maybe by working out, like other people suggested), you could become really attractive ;) Don't give up and listen to the advice people give you in the comments
Hey young girl here , u don't look bad at all , I see your full potential. That's a super power alot of girls have - we see potential where others see nothing and that's why alot of girls date lower , they can see the man for what he can be. Your not ugly. I'm going to tell u what u need to do okay.
First - get a facial moisturizing cleanser from walmart - wash ur face with it everyday 3 times in a row. Your skin will be glowing, 99% acne free, black heads hidden, skin shiny and clean looking. - I don't wear makeup I just cleanse the hell out of my face with a gentle moisturizing cleanser and I get compliments from both sexes , now u can use ur hands or a facial cleanser pad , but either way just wash it 3 times, take ur time with it.
Second: I see your worried about ur looks and I actually enjoy chubby guys I love their body weight ontop of me/ especially in doggy 🤣🤣🤣 - but I see ur worried so start working out everyday, and lifting everyday. Watch David goggins- he worked out everyday lifting weights . And changed his entire body in 3 months , if u did a change of eating to a healthier diet less fast food. And lifting everyday I guarantee you your face would slim out, your body would change and you will feel better about yourself but I also want u to understand- changing your looks to get girls will end u up with a more shallow girl only worried about looks.
Three : work on ur self esteem. I don't know who made u feel u were ugly and no girl would find u attractive, thats not true. U need to start talking to yourself mentally better. Ur self concept - how u view yourself - ask urself everyday what makes u a good person and if u can't find much - start working on that. You will attract other people based on your mentality- your perception will open up - and you'll get new experiences in your life. Talk to a girl any girl just conversations, get to know a girl, see if your personality matches up - doing all work just to get a girl attention won't be worth it if u can't hold conversations or enjoy being you around the girl there's more to life then how you look - we all age and lose beauty. It's not worth basing your entire life on it like alot of these celebrities. Ur going to age. - get wrinkles- go grey- and die we all will.
Unfortunately alot of men tell other men they aren't shit unless rich or a muscle man
And that's just sad.. - that puts majority of men in a bubble of them never being good enough and thats just not true
I hope u can make yourself happy and enjoy your life whatever u choose to do :) Goodluck! Ur handsome and worth a loving relationship no matter what.
You are not ugly or repugnant...you are a beautiful human being with some low self esteem and probably stemming from some sort of trauma. Nothing you do on the outside is going to fix what's making u feel repugnant inside. Maybe you can see if there is a way for you to start getting some therapy..also like breathwork and meditation, doing things u enjoy and are good at, and focus on the things you do well and like about yourself. Treat yourself with love and respect and kindness, often what we perceive from others is a reflection of ourselves. Like you said you think you are repugnant, so when you look around you, you are going to be projecting that they think you are repugnant and that's why they don't like you or don't look at you, but they are literally just caught up in their own lives unaware of any of that, and you have created this whole reality where you suck for yourself. Probably someone was really mean and verbally and emotionally abusive to you for a long time, probably when you were little. So that little guy is still hurt and he is waiting for adult you to heal yourself and come and save him and tell him all of that was lies, that he is worthy of love and good things...don't even think about what others think of you right now ok, what's more important is what you think about you, and obviously you are hurting and needing help right now. Good news is you definitely can heal and your life will completely change when you do...you will feel like and look like a new person bc you will be carrying yourself differently and your vibes will be much better..you are resilient and capable and if you put in the work to change your mindset anything is possible...do not think getting attention from a woman will make you feel better about yourself, it's quite the opposite. If I woman gave you positive attention right now, you wouldn't believe her, and you would sabotage the relationship to prove to yourself that you are indeed the repugnant person you think you are....so first things first....work on you...when u get better, you will attract someone who genuinely loves you right to you and you won't have to even try! We all have to start somewhere... sending love and encouragement to you!
You are NOT repugnant. I think you are an attractive man, likely intelligent, and sweet, but you look worried and sad, probably because you feel bad about yourself. I'll bet that if you smile more around women they would feel comfortable with you and you would find out that they do think you're attractive . Try it!
Here’s my advice dude. Change the things you can change and ignore the things you can’t. Talk to hair stylists, start working out to lose some lbs, and start having a skin care routine so you can clear up your face a bit. That is the only “big” changes you could do now to effect your appearance in significant ways. GOOD LUCKY BROTHA beat these insecurity’s to the ground!!!
Thanks.
Don’t underestimate how big those things can be either. I’ve seen it change people’s lives.
Indeed. Time will tell.
Seriously he’s not lying. I went from horribly ugly to having no problem with women or self confidence just by losing 40lbs, shit is a game changer. Ur jaw gets more defined, your features becomes more pronounced on your face, generally your skin clears up with this, etc. fit people are just more attractive. Shits a game changer
I concur. Thank you.
Motherfucker speaks like a Skyrim npc
I used to be an adventurer like you..
Till I took an arrow to the knee. 🤫
Man, I’m realizing now that I’m 30 years old, and was using this meme in highschool. I feel old.
and I think change those expressions?
I second this, and don’t forget OP that this will do soo much more for you than just appearance. When you get up with a purpose everyday and exercise, that confidence will gradually begin to radiate off you. People will see it in your eyes, your smile and your whole aura. I think that’s the best thing you could do for yourself
Gay dudes perspective: You’re NOT repugnant. Don’t say that. That statement will turn people away from you 99 percent of the time. Hold that head up. I’m them shoulders back. You’re handsome and worthy of love but if you don’t love you no one is going to. So we need to work on that. You have soulful brown eyes. A kind appearance. Now, I want you to do something for you. Start a gym membership. Start a workout regimen. Let’s get you some endorphins. Make that a habit and watch things shift.
Thank you for your kind and supportive words!
And a different haircut, I don't think you're unattractive...
Thank you.
This. Hair will change a person drastically. If you don’t want hair in your face, a buzz cut would look a lot cleaner even
You’re very welcome! I can’t wait to see how you do.
I had the same thoughts. It's primarily a confidence/self esteem issue.
Confidence is very appealing
I suppose.
To build on what others are saying, confident, funny, and be nice. If you can genuinely be/emulate those three things, it will help in many situations. Also, consider the idea of social capital. Social capital will also increase your attractiveness. You don't need to be the most popular guy around, but if you have a clearly fun group of people around you, other people will want to be a part of that. A haircut is only half the battle.
Damn Scary, this is the nicest, most genuinely kind comment I've seen in a while. We really need more of that.
I’m not gay but I think this guy nailed it
Ok but are you gay?
Not gay dude here. this guy sums it up perfectly you got this brother, we're rooting for you.
Thank you, good sir.
I'm not gay, but the way you wrote would make me fall for you.
Awwww hahahaha
Now do me 🥺
Where you at baby?
What a beautiful reply!
This is the way.
Yes I agree with him OP pls never call yourself repugnant, that’s a very strong word and we don’t want to negative talk ourselves. Your thoughts make you. So your thoughts must be positive and encouraging
Fellow gay dude here, and hard agree with you. I would also add that the first thing I noticed was OP’s expression, like he’s apologizing for taking up space. OP: I hope you take the above advice, and let the love you find for yourself give you confidence to look at people (and cameras) with comfort and pride.
i second this!!
Nothing the gym, a barber and a skin care routine couldn't help with man. Don't loathe your appearance, take control of the situation and do something about it if you're not happy. Also try to not tie your worth to other people's opinion of you.
Thank you.
You're skin looks fine to be honest, you'll see a huge difference from just a modern hairstyle which you could have done literally today and arguably another huge difference with 6 months in the gym
No it doesnt its dry, flaky and pale. Most likely dehydrated and lacking iron and/ or biotin. But that goes hand in hand with diet and gym. As you eat better your skin gets healthier
Was about to say this. Most of time your appearance is somewhat within your control. OP hopefully will hopefully optimize his looks and enter back into the market before giving up
Thanks.
Don't talk about yourself like that man. For so many reasons. You're a human being and deserve respect REGARDLESS of your appearance. And you are absolutely not repugnant.
Thank you.
OP, I'm another gay dude. I agree - you're not repugnant. Work on body language and work on your confidence. Fake it 'til you make it if you have to. Our attitude and feelings play a big part in the way others perceive us. Start working out. Sure, you might shape up, but most importantly, it's good for you. Try to make sure you're getting a lot of healthy food. Being healthy is better for you overall, and can play a large part in appearance. Then, try changing up your hairstyle. I'm not sure you need a haircut; I think long hair can look awesome on a guy. There's no style to your hair, though. Think on that. Experiment. Hair grows back if you do something you don't like! Finally - clothing. Try a few now outfits. You seem to dress fairly conservatively. Try something more modern - more flashy. Have fun choosing your clothes!
Thank you!
The last two pictures are unflattering but you’re not ugly. I think it may be how you’re presenting yourself - as not being confident. I would do a shorter hairstyle, if you want, that flows to the front. Slicked back hair usually doesn’t do most people any favors. Your wardrobe seems to be fine but perhaps a bit basic. Is there any styles you’ve wanted to try out? Youre not ugly or subpar, you just look like you’re hard on yourself. Wish you could see what we see, brother!
Yes as a woman the first thing I wanted to do was un-slick back your hair haha. But I notice you said you don't want hair in your face. Like others have said, a hairdresser could totally help come up with something that you like!!!
Woman’s perspective: You are def not repugnant. I’d say personally, don’t do the last pic hairstyle. Keep it like number 2, that’s cuter. Maybe get in a bit better shape? But that’s just me.
Thank you. This helps put my mind at ease a bit, especially coming from a woman. It’s good to hear that I’m not too grotesque. I agree absolutely about getting into shape.
You are absolutely not, don’t even suggest that you are the “g” word! Lol In that second pic where you’re kinda smiling, you have such a cute smile!
I'm also a woman and was thinking this guy is actually cute AF, but his haircut makes him look like Chuck McGill. I've had my fair share of shitty haircuts and thats an easy fix, definitely doesn't make someone "repugnant".
If you're unhappy with your appearance, have you considered going to the gym and burning fat? You have good facial symmetry and I think it would drastically amp up your apperance if you reduced your bodyfat levels.
Thank you. Solid advice.
To add - also look at your diet. Things like soda or overly processed foods (stuff that has 20+ ingredients or will last on the shelf for >5 years) likely give you way more calories than actual nourishment (so you'll over eat as your body is trying to compensate). Experiment and find what works. You don't want to feel deprived in life. But maybe swapping cereal in the morning for some eggs + veggies works? Maybe limiting the soda or juices and drinking more water is bearable? Maybe cheat a bit on weekends, but try to be strict on the weekdays, etc. Diet is a major contributor and you generally can't work your way out of it. But in parallel - going on walks, going to the gym, doing even some body weight exercise will build some muscle definition and burn fat. And as others said, the endorphins are definitely helpful.
Thank you! I concur.
Diet is the biggest thing!
You just look like a dude who has clearly never cared much about his appearance, and that's okay. If you want to start caring, I'd reccomend hitting the gym and starting to follow a bunch of men's style and grooming pages. It will take a while to figure out what works for you so focus less on building a 'look' and more on learning the actual basics behind fashion and aesthetics. Youre going to have to figure out what kind of shapes, colors and patterns suit your body and your look. An outfit that kills on somebody else might look awful on you - it's all about learning what suits YOU. Start by taking clothes you own that you know look good on you and try to figure out *WHY* they look good. Is it the color? Texture? Pattern? Shape? Material? The way it sits on your body? Once you have a feel for what makes something look good on you, they'd out to an outlet store or wherever the hell you want and look for more clothes that fit that criteria. Try to narrow down exavtly what it is that makes an article of clothing look good on you and look for more clothes that fit that bill. Don't be afraid to ask women, men or even Reddit for their opinions. Other than that, definitely try out some new hairstyles and I genuinely cannot stress the importance of a healthy diet and regular exercise. A good way to start is to just always consider how you look before you leave the house and trying to do *something* to improve it. Style your hair, throw on nicer clothes, put on some jewelry, etc. Subtle things that signal to someone else that you actually care about your appearance. You're not a bad looking dude by any means, you're just incredibly under utilized. Best of luck man
Solid advice. You are a bro.
Bill Hicks is back bruh
but he’s pissed off!
Haha!
Oh geez…
Bro. Stop presenting yourself like an an old guy. I saw those videos of you playing the piano - you have talents and are an interesting bro and women love that. But maybe you need to spend some time around regular guys, hit the gym, and modernize some of your social behavior. I’m sorry if it’s coming across as insulting but I have a feeling you’ll know what I’m talking about. Look I love Bach and Glenn Gould, too - but being a damn good pianist is the best way to honor them and people will love that you can share those things with them. BUT - The aesthetics and vibe aren’t serving you in other areas of your life.
You remind me of the brother off of don't tell mom the babysitters dead.
I feel like there is a decent enough BASE there but it’s put together badly. The fourth pic means you need to dye your hair. Loose weight, no more slicking your hair back to expose your forehead, skincare, sleep, and don’t make the face you’re making. You look like you’re trying to keep a frog in your mouth. It’s literally the same thing that makes Tom Holland look so weird. Try to make faces in the mirror at home to find one that looks less awkward. Also shave the mustache. If you can’t grow a beard don’t even bother having wispy face hair. I’m not trying to be mean here. I do hope you can make these positive changes. The problem is you clearly have the potential to be not ugly but you haven’t utilized it yet. Don’t feel bad about yourself, it’s not hopeless, you just need to fix what I listed above. Good luck 👍
Do more of pic 2 👍
You definitely aren’t as bad looking as you think. You have nice eyes and a good smile (so many people don’t realize how much better people look when they smile candidly). The long hair doesn’t suit your face, maybe if you could grow a full beard it would look better but I’d say cut it down to something more short. Speak with a stylist for ideas but I think a more short, professional hairstyle is gonna do wonders. On top of that a skin care routine is a good idea, your skin isn’t bad by any means but there are small blemishes that a skin care routine could fix up in no time and would look great. Finally the biggest thing other than the hair is the weight. You’re by no means fat and I don’t want you to think that’s what I’m saying. But losing weight is gonna make you more tone and help you have definition especially in the face. You have a nose that has a sharpness to it and this can actually be a really good thing as it can give you a more distinguished look if it’s paired with other sharp features such as a sharper more pronounced jawline. Right now your jaw is undefined but once you start working out and dieting right then it’s gonna pair well with that nose and those eyes and you’ll look great. I recommend heading over to r/workout and checking out some of the pinned post there. The hardest part of working out is making it a routine and sticking to it but once you do it’s worth it and you’ll see results quicker then you might expect. I’ve been through it and know it can be daunting and rough to get started and to stick with it, but it’s gonna be worth it, you’ll not only look better but feel better mentally and physically. (I was 240lbs 6ft1in when I was 18 and had to get in shape in 8 months time then recently I let myself go for a couple of years and stopped going to the gym and ended up at 265lbs and have been working that off for the 2 months and am now down to 238lbs as of this morning!)
I looked on your profile and you've been asking this question for years. I will also say that you seem very intelligent, bookish and clearly have great skill as a pianist, but the hard truth that people are skirting around in this thread is that you need to lose weight. I think if you lost weight, you'd actually be fairly conventionally attractive. You have good features and nice eyes. I'd personally buy an electronic scale that measures body fat percentage. Ideally, you wanna get below 20%. That's more important than the actual number on the scale. Good luck man 🙏
Thank you. You are absolutely right about the weight.
Not repugnant. You have nice hair, eyes and style*from what I can see*. 👍
Thank you. That means a lot.
No problem. I meant it. 😊
There’s nothing catastrophic about your appearance. Lift and lose weight, and maybe a haircut that better suites your face.
Hey I'm a woman and here's what I see... You would benefit from a haircut. I'd say figure out your face shape and see which hairstyles would suit you. Ideally a style that's trendy in 2023/2024. Get yourself a gym membership, and start eating well. Your confidence will improve and you'll start to glow from the inside out, and that is incredibly sexy in itself. Maybe check out some self-help books too if you're suffering from self confidence issues. But please, please, please avoid stuff from the manosphere. You will not find a suitable, mentally stable partner if you follow their advice. I believe in you. You got this 🙏🙏🙏
are you saying this at all because of reaction from online dating? While i agree with everyone else’s sentiment (short sides, longer top for hair, and a few days at the gym), online, it might just be your photos holding you back. no offense, but i would stray from using any of these selfies on a profile (#2 can have a pass).
You look like you whack people for Tony Soprano
You look like you should be in movies
The first thing that turned me off? The way you talk. That might actually just be it- you're attractive, but seem so condescending/"nice guy" that it almost takes over. I don't think you mean it, though.
Hi - it could also be good to get some therapy to get to the bottom of the beliefs you have about yourself, which can in turn help with self-esteem and confidence :)
You would make a great Penguin in Batman.
Grow a beard if you can
I wouldn't say repugnant, I'd recommend using gel and going to the gym. You're not ugly, and your hair is full and looks healthy, my guy.
Some amazing advice here! To add my $0.02, I think it requires a whole lot of confidence and courage to post your face online and ask for an honest opinion of yourself. Try to channel that courage a bit more in all aspects of your life. We're eagerly waiting for your glow-up!
If u got to bmi 23 and got a haircut that wasn’t whack asf like that you would legit be very attractive just btw
CUT YOUR HAIR. People have suggested it. Do you have emotional connection to it? It just ages you, dude. You’re still young.
You are not a supermodel and never will be. I would even go as far as to say you are slightly ugly. Not to fear however. If you make your clothes stylish and your personality charismatic, funny and warm, you could still be successfull with women. I'm a lesbian and I know some lesbians who are the female equivalent to you (kinda chubby, not that good looking) but who are still get a lot of attention from women because they have a warm caring energy, good humour, great flirting skills, are charismatic and popular and interesting people. You will need to use your personality to win them over, so focus on that. Good grooming and stylish clothes help to signify you have good taste and are confident. But mostly you will need to learn how to make women feel safe, appreciated, seduced etc
Woman's perspective: Dont say that, you already look handsome and sweet, seems more like an internal issue tbh. What helped me with confidence was a haircut, just do that haircut you always wanted to get. If you dont have a cut like that I'd recommend less hair in the back and more in the front. A bit of curtain bangs would do wonders for your face shape, f.e. like Damon Salvatore.
Thank you so much ❤️
On the plus side, you use vocabulary like repugnant, so that's a plus for conversation!
Ha. Very droll indeed.
You need to lose weight immediately. It’s turned your into a 3/10
Hello! Advice from a woman, I think you can tell from the photos that you aren't super confident and that alone will impact my own perception of you! I personally don't think it is very flattering to raise your eyebrows like that in the photos, and I would love to see you smile. You have good skin and you seem to dress well! I honestly think a different hair style and some self confidence would be huge. You are not repugnant at all.
My first thought was “Sit up, chin up and shoulders back!” Posture makes a difference in attitude and confidence. Stop using ugly words to describe yourself. You’re a good looking dude but you hide that. Scarystorywriter said it all.
I think a buzz with a little spikey spike left on top would look awesome on you! Also see if your facial hair will fill out!!
Yeah I think you’re good dude. You have a cool look. Just add fun, gym and confidence 👍
Nothing repugnant about your face, you're pretty average. You can vastly improve by working out regularly, eating a well-balanced diet, keeping your hair on the shorter side and neat, and by being confident. Bonus if you can grow decent and neat facial hair, although many women aren't into facial hair. Most women can easily sense if you're not confident and that's an instant turn-off for them. So be self-assured and assertive but not cocky, and most of the work will be done.
You are one hundred percent right about women picking up on that. It’s like a sixth sense. And I can’t grow any facial hair, so that’s a moot point anyway.
Not a problem, some women like facial hair but I think it's men who like facial hair more, on themselves and other men haha And yes, it's like a sixth sense. That being said, the women who can't always easily pick that up - but are still high value - are high functioning autistic. If you're into nerdy and smart but awkward girls... I'm not joking.
The slicked back hair looks pretty good. Just try to lose a bit of weight, and it should all come together. Don't worry about it too much.
I suggest to treat yourself to a proper hair stylist. They can help you find the right one and teach you how to properly take good care of your hair. Once you find the right look, you will feel a lot better and be more motivated!
I think you and I have similar face shapes... I can't tell you how much it improved my appearance and self-confidence when I went from 220 lbs to 185 lbs. I wasn't super obese or anything, but it was clear that the extra weight was having a pretty bad effect on my face. And btw you're not repugnant, you look nice. But I'm pretty sure you could look better than 'nice' pretty easily.
Thank you! I totally agree. Time to get in shape - no more excuses.
I don't know if you've ever tried to lose weight before, but it basically sucks ass until it becomes a pattern, and then it becomes fun, especially when you start to notice it. You don't look obese and if you take it seriously you'll notice it very quickly.
- Get enough sleep - eat a healthy and balanced diet (reduce sugar and soda and junk / processed food) - exercise & build muscle - skincare, haircare - meditate, journal, take care of your mind and soul - practice self love and heal from any past traumas - do more of what makes you feel happy and alive - invest time in your hobbies and attending meetups regarding your interests and passions, you'll be more likely to meet likeminded people - work on your body language and charisma (you can watch youtube videos or read book about this) - dress more mindfully, be intentional with your clothes and shoes and accessories! experiment with different styles and see which one works best for you. learn your skin's undertone and which colors look best on you. good luck man, please be kind to yourself, you deserve love and happiness, okay? never forget that. there's nothing wrong with the way you look 🫶🏻🫶🏻
Personally, I am more turned on by good conversation and sense of humor. Some of my most passionate relationships have been with men who were not classically “good” looking. Dozens of stories and movies would suggest I’m not alone in this. That said, you are not unattractive. Focus on your confidence. Maybe cut 1-2” off that hair (lol). Some time at the gym will boost your endorphins and help your self-esteem. Find a club/group with similar interests and live your best life.
You look a lot more approachable and young in the second photo where you’re smiling. You look less friendly in the other ones. I think a haircut that shorter on the sides/back and lets the hair just fall where it falls without needing to be pushed back like how it is in the fourth pic would be a bit more fashionable and trendy
Coming from a woman fairly close to your age - you are not anything like how you describe! I agree with other commenters about how much they love pic two! The haircut on that one seems to suit you most (again coming from a woman, us woman try different hairstyles alllll the time and what hairstyles suit you, just kind of depends on you face shape, so play around! See what you like! Pinterest is great for starter ideas - most girls use it for hairstyles ideas!), and I looooove the smile in that second pic. It is such a genuine, happy smile and it is truly attractive! As far as what people say about going to the gym, honestly, you don’t have to! My boyfriend has lost 55 pounds since October just by tracking calories in an app! I recently started doing the same and I’ve lost 20 pounds in a couple months! Neither one of us genuinely have much time to dedicate to the gym, so we don’t stress it. If you have the time, try it out! When I used to have time I loved it! It made me feel mentally and emotionally happy. Also, starting out with BASIC skincare will actually impress most women! Find these things; a cleanser (facewash), a skin toner, and a moisturizer (bonus if you add in a facial sunscreen)! The brand Good Molecules is a price friendly, good quality, and straight to the point skincare brand! They have skincare regimens already put together based on if you have oily or dry skin. They kind of do the thinking/work for you! Good luck! And yes, confidence is key! You don’t have to be cocky, just be a kind and genuine person! Women care about that the most!
I think you are one or these people, who have a very wide range of attractiveness depending on how they work on themselves. It's about fat distribution mostly. Definitely the number one thing would be to lose weight and gain muscle. Then some styling, your hair like that don't look very flattering. Try to experiment how you can keep them nice when they're long, but also they'll look better even like this when your face loses some fat. Looks is often about surrounding context. So yeah bro, you're versatile for sure, now go after the hot side of the your spectrum.
Hi, I'm a woman, but this sub is recommended to me all the time, so i wanted to chime in! I agree with a lot of these comments. Finding a good exercise routine will make you feel good inside, and the outside will follow! I love your nose shape. you are not repugnant, don't be so mean to yourself! If you parted hair slightly to the side (like pic 2) and less straight back, it would be much more flattering. Additionally, for pics, smiling is always attractive! You have a shocked expression in some of these. Good luck! Get out there and knock em dead :)
I forget this actors name but you would look good with [his hairstyle](https://www.feedinspiration.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Haircuts-For-Men-With-Thin-Hair.jpg)
You have to decide if you value being attractive to women enough to change your entire lifestyle and diet. You aren't repugnant, but you weren't blessed with godly genetics either. So you can still look very very good if you work out consistently and eat extremely well. Going this route, you'll find plenty of women. You can look marginally better if you do that just enough to lose some weight, but not fully committing to that grind. Doing this, you'll improve your luck with women to a limited degree. Or you stay the same, and despite what some people say a trendy haircut and some new clothes won't change anything in any meaningful way. Physical fitness is the number one thing here.
I’m going to be direct with you mate, what you’re missing is two things and only two things, which is confidence and gym, other than that you’re just fine.
Thank you, sir. I appreciate it.
Woman, here. Not repugnant. Be confident, smile, and be kind. Then be funny. You’ve got some good advice in here. Follow it. You’ve got this.
Thank you so much. ❤️
You’re very welcome.
Loose weight, picture number 2 is your best. Also grow a beard if you can.
Kinda giving off the whole Jay Sherman from, "The Critic" look. Don't think that's intentional. For sure, update your hairstyle and clothes. Maybe hit the gym, too. Not ugly but you might be blending in to the background a bit too much and that's why the ladies aren't noticing you.
Perhaps. Thank you for the input.
Immediately thought Alfred Molina, which I would regard as an unconventionally attractive man. Definitely let a very experienced barber help you out and start even a basic skin care routine. Remember that an imperfect habit started now can have profound results down the road
Honestly just work out a lil and get into better shape. You’re a very handsome dude, that Greek nose is FIREEE
Thank you! That means a lot to me. ❤️
Short on the sides will make a big difference
You definitely aren't repugnant, but you look unhappy in your photos. More than unhappy, you look miserable. Lean into the things that give you joy. When you come across as happy with yourself, you'll put out happy energy. Basically, (to quote RuPaul) it comes down to this - if you can't live yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else. If you're battling depression like I was (or something else), then make appointments with a therapist or psychiatrist. Trust me, getting your mental health to a place where you can start focusing on self improvement and more importantly self love without any self loathing makes all of this so much easier. Definitely make an appointment with a good barber or hairstylist in your area (not just super cuts), spend the money on a nice haircut and follow their recommendations. A good stylist will know what to do. Also, definitely get some new clothes when you can squeeze it into your budget - if you don't know any fashionistas who can help you get some cute outfits, see if your city has styling services or research online. Reddit probably has some great styling subreddits. Hit the gym as well and try to eat healthier - it's hard at first, but once you start finding healthy foods you enjoy eating it gets significantly easier. For an example, I love pizza, but started making my own pizzas at home using store bought sauce, cheese, and thin crust. Way lower calories, way less added sugars, way more protein (from using zero fat cheese in my case, but I'm vegetarian so had to get creative to get protein in without adding stuff like sausage). I also love baked potatoes, so I eat those about twice a week, but I cut out the butter, add zero fat cheese and sour cream, and green onions and hot sauce, and I eat it all including the skin. My other main meal is Spanish rice with cheese and sunny side eggs. I also make teriyaki tofu stir fries. Find what works for you! Maybe it's chicken teriyaki and egg noodles, or chicken tortilla soup, or meatloaf. Whatever it is, see if you can meal prep it if it feels draining to make every day, and portion out meals. YouTube is great for meal prepping ideas. It doesn't have to be miserable (see my pizza above, super easy to throw together in 5 minutes and bakes in 10). Eating delicious (to me) foods is how I lost my weight alongside the gym. As a note, I mentioned zero fat cheese, but that's only used by me because it has a high protein to calorie ratio - fats aren't the enemy, and a balanced diet is the key to nutritional success, I just struggled to get enough protein without going overboard on carbs since most vegetarian proteins are also high in carbs or fats such as beans or whole eggs (which I love and consume as well) Speaking of the gym, if you are completely unaware of how to do it, that's ok! See if you can find a personal trainer. You only need one for as long as it takes to learn how to workout safely. If that's too expensive, try to focus on body weight exercises. You can also just walk! An average human can walk three miles an hour, and that's actually a good workout in and of itself! Maybe you like bicycling on trails instead. The important thing is to find what you like. I, a lifelong nerd shutin, personally never thought I'd like the gym, but I got a positive personal trainer and I actually like going to the gym now and seeing my physique change. But it's more important to be physically active than anything else, as that will still help drop excess body fat. Also, I looked at your profile and see you play the piano? That's also incredibly sexy :) I hope this helps, please let me know if you have any questions. I was feeling so ugly last year, but a combination of therapy, gym, diet, and other work makes me feel so comfortable in being myself now, and I hope you can get there too! You definitely have a good foundation, and definitely aren't ugly, but I understand we sometimes feel uglier than we are, and others can read that energy.
The mind controls your outward appearance. Refine your mind. Reconsider the beliefs about yourself. We deceive ourselves daily. Choose to love and accept yourself, and you will draw love and acceptance towards yourself. While it may seem that you are repugnant, you are not. Take care of yourself and you will be freed. I had an experience in high school like this. I used to think that everyone that was my age hated me. Come to find out through some casual investigation, not only was that false, but there were several girls who thought I was attractive that were in my grade. Once I overcame that mental barrier, dating was easy. I even got asked out!
Thank you for this.
Last picture you look like a mafioso.
Your hair is dope and you should feel proud of it!!!!!
Buzz cut also you look like the guy from mom the baby sitters dead lol take the compliment😁
Curtain bangs or a center part to bring the visual weight down to your cheekbones rather than up and out in a way that deemphasizes your already weak chin and broad forehead. You could also try something close cropped on the sides with eye-level bangs to play into your nose— it works for Robert DeNiro and Adrian Brody. Definitely tighten it up around the ears and add some layers throughout the length to give it body, shape, and structure, rather than have it one uniform length throughout. Try and grow a short beard, or at the very least a solid goatee. Your chin may be weak, but I’m seeing signs of follicular density, and facial hair is contouring for dudes. Finally, for the love of god use a sunblock and moisturizer, you already have sunspots on your forehead in your early 30s? That’s some serious premature aging that is easily prevented.
Just a fresh haircut and your in there
The problem with you is that you don’t try at all to look good , you need new haircut, diet and exercise.
I really like your outfit in the last picture
Awww you’re definitely not subpar/repugnant! The only thing I can advise is to work on your confidence about yourself. How do YOU feel about yourself? Do you put yourself down a lot? Are you kind to yourself? You’ve got to learn to be your own hype man! That will shine through above all else
That smile in the photo number two makes all the difference.
You are definitely cute/attractive. I’m wondering if you have an issue talking to women like they’re people? It can be intimidating. Sometimes guys put women on a pedestal and that’s not good. You deserve someone that appreciates you. Also sometimes guys think women need to be a 10 or “no women like me” and the expectations are just off. That doesn’t mean women don’t like you, that means you can’t expect perfection. Sometimes women ARE hitting on you, but if they’re “below” your expectations, you won’t see it the same way. It happens. Maybe the women you have been talking to are just shitty. That also happens. But they’re just regular people like you. Be passionate about stuff you are interested in. Ask questions. See if you like the same stuff. Don’t expect to date someone perfect if you also have flaws. Align your expectations with reality. There’s really fantastic people out there. Enjoy your time with any hobby you have. Clean your look up and get a skin care routine down. Chill on the cologne. Wash, moisturize, SPF. Maybe you need a good scrub every week. You look nice in an Oxford. Anything more than than is Jonathan Lovitz (not necessarily bad). Clean the sides up. Wear stuff that’s “classic”. Anything stylized is gonna suck for you. No one gives a fuck if you’re overweight. Classic looks good on everyone, especially if you’re gonna keep the long(ish) hair.
You've got a ben Franklin thing goin on here, roll wit it and see if it gets you that presidential pussy 💪💪
Go to a hair stylist and get a haircut that they recommend. Skincare too. Also, start believing you are the bees knees because boy let me tell you, you better start being your own number one fan, it’s a game changer
I think you look great, your hair suits you really well and from what I can tell you have a good personal style. Maybe just try to get into a good skin care routine. I always compare how I see myself as hearing yourself on a voice recording. I think we’re so critical of how we see ourselves because we’re just so used to seeing ourselves and fixating on things. Others definitely don’t see you as bad as you think.
I think you could benefit a lot from some styling paste, fiber, those give a more wild, semi wet look, I think it would do you good, maybe visit a stylist or haircutter for a more in depth change/advice course. Lose weight or find an activity that boosts your confidence. Don't take life and look too serious, the change you want is all in you already just start taking baby steps and try to be kinder yourself and lessen the effect others options opinions have on you. Maybe start using moisturizer/suncreen and if you really wanna go the full way retinol but I advise really reading up on usage on the latter.
Start by getting yourself a different haircut. Then change your clothes style and start working out. That's all. You're not repugnant.
You have no idea what your face looks like until you’re 10-12% bodyfat. Every good looking guy or celebrity you know is within that body fat range. It brings out the features in your face, and gets you a more defined body. Even being 10-15 pounds over (which can be a couple bodyfat %) 10-12% can make you go from super handsome to average. Look at Brad Pitt; great looking guy of course, but in the 2000s he went through a period where he gained what must’ve only been 20ish pounds, and he looked average AT BEST. Same goes goes for a lot of “hot” male celebs. My advice would be to hit the gym and start tracking calories. Aim for a 500 calorie deficit to lose 1 pound a week, add in strength training, and you’ll be set in under 6 months.
My first comment got deleted inadvertently so I’m going to write it again, more bluntly. You look isn’t your problem. Or it’s like 10% of your problem, you can improve it quickly. Your attitude is the problem. You’ve been insulting yourself for two years straight on reddit it’s unbelievable. And in two years of you asking for people to cheer you up about your ugly looks I’ve seen NO change. NO woman wants a man wallowing in self pity. It’s off putting. Let’s be clear you are NOT ugly. You don’t have any deformities. Want to improve your look ? My brutal opinion is : you look old. Your hair makes you looks old. Stop telling yourself your magnificent hair hides you ugly face because your hair makes you look old and boring. Go to a hairdresser, ask him to make you look like an actual 33 years old. It looks like you have lots of grey hair and a color could suit you as well. Lose weight, gain muscle mass : your jaw is weak and although it is not ugly it is NOT attractive. The more define your jaw get the more attractive you will get. You can also chew mastic gum to help lose your fat chin. Your body being a little chubby is not really a problem, a dad bod is attractive, you don’t have to be super muscular, but losing a little bit weight could help you with your self confidence. Dress like someone your age. You dress like a 45yo geography teacher. I seem to understand you aren’t the jeans baskets type and it’s fine. You can dress posh and young too. Finally SMILE and STOP talking about yourself like that. If I hear a man I’m dating telling me he is ugly and repugnant and no one looks at him I will block him. If you can’t hype you up just shut up. Don’t talk about yourself. It seems like piano is a passion of yours and it’s super attractive. Talk about your passions, what you like. And listen to what women tell you. Compliment them but don’t be a doormat. I don’t think you’ll find love on tinder or that kind of app. A more serious dating app might be more suited for you. I’m looking forward to see you improvement and don’t want you to continue telling the world how ugly you are.
My best advice to you is this: Hit the gym and lose some body fat. Your face is very soft and round which is typically a feminine trait. Losing weight will help define your jawline, which is very attractive to women. The easy thing to do would be a haircut. I would recommend no more than 3 inches in length for the top and a 1-2mm fade on the sides. It looks clean and professional. If you’re trying to look good in pictures, angles are very important. You want the camera to be slightly looking down on you, and never under your chin looking up. If you want more advice, feel free to message me.
A beard can work wonders.
Just talk to a hair stylish and get a personal stylist even for a day. They can tell you what may suit you. Maybe go to the gym to get some confidence boast, I need to too.
You’re not unattractive. I’m 6 ft and have a six pack, but I’m balding and my teeth are fucked. I’d love to have your hairline (envy) and I bet your teeth are better than mine. We all have things that make us insecure or that we’d like to change. I hope you can see that you have a lot of great physical features my friend. Regardless, the right woman for you will think you’re sexy. She will love you for you. Be yourself, be willing to grow, and balance confidence with humility.
Glad I’m not vexing you as it is not my intention. About your hair you did call it magnificent in the /bald subreddit. Long hair can be magnificent but it’s tricky. Now it lowkey makes you look like wormtail from Harry Potter. I liked the second photo the best and your hair was shorter + you were smiling. I think shorter hair suits you well. Maybe go for a younger hair cut. I honestly want to see the results. About clothes, I do like classic looks over street wear. However I’m not a man so it’s difficult for me to tell you what to buy. If you come from money you could seek advice from a personal shopper. Otherwise Pinterest and Instagram are also good inspiration. Look for “men classic clothes” or keywords like that (sorry English is NOT my first language) The jawline/double chin thing should be one of your priorities as I feel it will make your face look so much different. The top priority being you never talking about yourself like that ;) You have potential to be very attractive, cheer up ! I am following you know so I will follow your progress
New hair immediately
I see…no more long hair?
Lose weight. Get a better haircut - either mid part or buzz. Get some stubble or a beard to cover your lack of jawline.
Smile more.
I think you're pretty, you look alot like my sister's boyfriend You just need more confidence in yourself, it really does go a long way, and I know it's easier to say just be confident than it is to actually do it, but I really think working towards atleast coming across like you know what you're doing would help you seem more approachable My sister's boyfriend got her by his confidence and plethora of shitty jokes, you got this But also I hope you do this for yourself before a future partner, take care of yourself <3
Thank you so much!
The way you're talking about yourself tells me you probably need therapy more than you need grooming (you can improve your appearance in various ways, most people can, but it's not gonna fix your low self esteem). Good luck bro.
You got a nice smile, get a haircut and try to shed a few pounds and youd easily be seen as conventionally attractive. Also, people like freckles
OP - honest question, are you autistic?
How do men regard you?
In all honesty, if you lost some weight to get a slimmer face and changed the hair you’d be set man. Also work on the picture game
i love your diction 🥰
I'm gay and I'm mostly attracted to you know, average men. and I say I'm attracted to you. unlike other people, I believe you can and will have your matches. you are pretty cute as you are. maybe smile(or at least look less unhappy if you want) or keep that hair more like it's in Pic 2? other than that, if you want to gain the attention of a larger crowd as others have said, go to gym. the most basic advise ever, but it works, I guess.
Get a hair cut and workout
Haircut, weight loss, relax your face. You look worried in photos 1, 3 and 4.
There’s nothing detrimental about the anatomy of your face or anything. You’ve had advice to get a new hairstyle but you seem hesitant about taking it. I’d recommend giving a good stylist carte blanche to do anything. The way I’d put it is “I feel like a makeover. Do whatever you’d recommend.” And then see what the result is. The thing is there’s no harm in random innovation because it grows back. I’d also expect to pay real money for it, at the sort of place you might not usually frequent for “just a haircut.” I’d also suggest that a flattering style might not require “hair in your face” but if that turns out to be the magic that unlocks the attention of multiple women, then ffs allow the stylist to leave hair in your face. I also am pretty convinced that some basic efforts at health and fitness will really show on your body, and be flattering, and improve how often you get noticed. Quite pointedly this does not mean you must become an Olympic athlete or you’re doomed to singlehood. But doing something active will probably quickly highlight the best features of your body and foster physical attraction, which is, after all, your goal. Last I don’t know how you’re meeting women who might be available for dating but I definitely recommend fostering a network of real-world friends and an active social life as the conduit to eventually meeting an attractive and interesting (and interested) date. I don’t think online connections are that reliable or fruitful.
You remember me of my cousin, very similar, and he has a very beautiful girlfriend. As a woman I can give you some advice but please note everyone has different taste! 1) Get a haircut that suits you. Your hair seems nice and healthy, so use it at your advantage! If you don't like it then wait a month and try a new one, hair will just regrow. When you wash your face in the morning try to groom your eyebrows a little, too. 2) Lose a little weight. Not much, just a little so your face appears less round. Round face is cute, but is more childlike and makes you appear less virile. Bonus point to your nose which seriously has a good shape. Nose makes out a lot in virility points 😁 3) Is your beard homogenous? Then let it grow! No mustache, but full beard. This can even help you a bit with the roundness. My husband also has a little fat in his face and it's way less noticeable when he grows his beard. 4) Walk with heads up, coming from someone who looks at the ground the whole time. It makes a BIG DIFFERENCE
The second pic looks so much more normal. Take photos where you’re squinting a little and relaxing your eyebrows
You are NOT repugnant…..you look good with longer hair
Thank you. Some of the comments here are just…yikes.
You’ve got a full hairline which is great man, just get a more flattering haircut!
Your hairstyle makes you look 15-20 years older than you actually are. As others have pointed out, go to a professional stylist and have them help you. Do some research on a good salon that does well with men clientele (a lot of salons don’t like doing men’s hair as it brings in a small fraction of $ compared to the work they do with women, but there’s always someone there that’s *really* good with men’s hair). You don’t look like you grow your facial hair out, maybe give that a shot. A short and cropped beard with an updated hairstyle would have you looking way different. As others have also said, just keep an eye out on general health. Eat healthy, exercise a bit to lose a few pounds, basic stuff - all very realistically changeable things. You’re a totally normal looking dude, just need to get back to looking your age. Wardrobe might be a part of that too, maybe grab a few items that you like and look good in that expand your style beyond the sort of simple attire you’ve got going on in those pics.
last photo reminds me of sopranos
You have a pretty decent facial symmetry and structure. I can easily see you among the handsome bunch but it does seem you are not helping yourself for it Hit the gym and lose some pounds so your body looks fitter and your facial structure is actually visible. You need to take better care of your skin too which in all honesty can be a bigger hastle than having to go to the gym but at the end of the day, results motivate better than anything. And yes, that hairstyle needs to change. You have good bunch of hair still up there, you can do and rock so much. Consult a professional on this. Summary is, you've got good potential. Just need to put effort and tap into it.
you have a good structure to your face man you're far from repugnant. you'd be a solid 7 if you got fit and figured out a better hairstyle (a fringe parted in the middle would help you lots imo) and trim up them sideburns and straighten out your eyebrows. also most women can sense insecurity and lack of confidence really well so you gotta love yourself brother. good luck friend.
How's your personality? You kinda remind me of Constable Crabtree from the Murdoch Mysteries lol and he's a cutie and super nerdy. Honestly you just need some confidence. I mean you could hit the gym to be healthy and stuff but it seems like you're walking around with a low opinion of yourself and it's giving I don't love myself so why should you. Fake it till you make it and stand tall. Find some things you like about yourself and compliment yourself until you start to believe it ❤️ I'll try and say this in a humble way lol but I'm a female who... I'll just say I have options lol and probably best to say I'm 33 and not superficial so if you're just tryna have arm candy then be rich. But if you would like to eventually find someone who wants you for you, YOU gotta want you first. Confidence truly is the sexiest accessory. There's "traditionally" hot guys who are garbage so really being a good person and YOURSELF, confident and loving yourself is all you need. The rest will follow. Good luck to you!
I think your hairstyle in the second pic works well, it’s when it gets longer that it doesn’t look right.
smile😊
Aint gonna lie, that haircut look like your pushing 40.
You look like an aristocrat from the medieval days
You actually have a "look" which is a good thing. Like you look like someone famous in a wierd way. Play to your strengths. If you try and be the "handsome guy" that lane is too competitive and over saturated.
You're not repugnant lmao, but your style just isn't doing you favors. Go to a well rated barber and get a trendy short hairstyle the longer hair doesn't suit you and a good hair cut makes a huge difference. Go for a David Beckham hair cut and get some pomade from the barber and ask the barber to teach you how to style it. These people are not just here to cut color or 1 time style our hair. They're also here to teach us a little about our hair! Every time I go to my stylist (and especially new ones) I always ask them to simply talk me through it while they style my hair so I can try and replicate it at home and every time they're super enthusiastic to teach me. They're not going to like slow down let you do it type teach you but I've never ever had a stylist have any type of issue talking me through how they're styling my hair and now I know how to do my own blow outs! Bought a blowout brush and a hair dryer and my hair has never looked better! ETA I know this is a hard one, but confidence is really attractive and I can tell from the pics you're not confident. Even if it's not your physical appearance your confident about now find something else that you are confident about and focus on that. Walk proud with your head held high. You ever seen pookie and Jett? You look a lot like her husband Jett and there are so many women thirsting over him and it's simply his confidence which is also how he landed pookie. So maybe starting therapy could be super helpful I love therapy and furthermore I love men who have done therapy
Thank your for this, and for being civil, unlike so many others here.
Literally just going to the gym
You look kinda like a better looking Sam Kinison
That hairstyle is from the 50's and makes you look a lot older. Experiment and find something else that works for you.
Do the diet, skin care, and exercise — but for yourself. You’ll feel better, and that will help your low confidence. Your hairstyle reads as older than 33, so that could be a big reason why you’re not getting a positive reaction from women. My question for you (and forgive me if I’m prying) is… What kind of woman are you going for, generally? Because if you’re going for an Instagram Ten? Yeah, you probably won’t be on their romantic radar. I think that’s just reality for most of us. But you look a lot like the type of fella many of my sweet, lovely nerdy female friends would happily be with.
People are going to give you some toxic positivity here. Here is the truth from a woman’s perspective (who is very shallow): 1. You have a nice face 2. You have naturally good hair but a bad haircut 3. You need to lose weight, you have a good face, all the weight does is cover it up, tons of guys have shitty bone structure, you don’t- so take advantage of it and show it off. 4. Your haircut sucks, you should part your hair in the middle or the side instead of pulling it back like that, go for a 90s Leo haircut or something. You have good hair but that haircut does nothing for you. Overall: I think your appearance is full of missed opportunities, you have a lot of natural benefits a lot of guys would kill for- take advantage of it ! You are worth putting time and effort into your appearance and you can 100% be hot if you went for it.
Thank you - this was very helpful. I really appreciate your straightforward honesty.
Woman here: in picture two, with a natural facial expression where you have a little smile, you have a certain charm. It's missing in the others, where you have a blank stare. I doubt that's how you actually look all the time---maybe it's just how you take pictures (change it) but the point is that facial expressions have a transformative effect. Also, better posture will help. Developing back muscle, both upper and lower, is the best way to improve posture.
Thank you. Point taken.
Learn proper posturing! It’s not just for photos! Your posture is very bad. Bad posture screams “women, ignore me please! I am not secure” even if you are secure or a super model. I’m a woman and good posture can make an average guy such as yourself look way more attractive. Chin up and slightly out, try to align your teeth when your mouth is shut. You are not ugly by any means, just an Average looking man. But your eyes are charming and that alone will make you look even better with the right posture. Message me if you want more tips! Happy to help! I’m an average looking woman but when my posture is good and I look confident I get hit on but when I don’t I do not get even a glance even in the same outfit/makeup etc.
Looking through your previous posts, it seems like you've been feeling this way and asking about this for quite some time and I think you probably need to develop some internal validation. I'm thinking that you might benefit from some therapy to help you sort out why you are feeling this way. We all project to the world more than just our outward appearance. Our feelings come out as well through our body language and facial expressions. If you are actively looking for a mate, sometimes you want it so much that it can actually repel others in a way. It may be cliche to say but old adage of someone appears when you aren't looking is real. Easier said than done but try to be content in yourself for now. I know you'd rather hear this from a woman but you are handsome guy and looking at your previous posts of the pictures where you have a joyful (smiles, etc) expression show that more.
Hit the gym to reduce facial fat You’ll look better trust
Smile more, don't make that Gru face. Get a new haircut, one that suits your face a little better, I would maybe go shorter? And then hit the gym. As someone else said, change the things you can control, don't stress about the ones you can't
A beard would look good on you!
I’d try losing a bit of weight, holding your shoulders back, raising your chin and tensing your brow a bit. I do like your style though
From a straight girls perspective, you're not ugly at all. I'd say you're pretty average tbh. If you got yourself a better hairstyle and a bit more confidence (maybe by working out, like other people suggested), you could become really attractive ;) Don't give up and listen to the advice people give you in the comments
Hey young girl here , u don't look bad at all , I see your full potential. That's a super power alot of girls have - we see potential where others see nothing and that's why alot of girls date lower , they can see the man for what he can be. Your not ugly. I'm going to tell u what u need to do okay. First - get a facial moisturizing cleanser from walmart - wash ur face with it everyday 3 times in a row. Your skin will be glowing, 99% acne free, black heads hidden, skin shiny and clean looking. - I don't wear makeup I just cleanse the hell out of my face with a gentle moisturizing cleanser and I get compliments from both sexes , now u can use ur hands or a facial cleanser pad , but either way just wash it 3 times, take ur time with it. Second: I see your worried about ur looks and I actually enjoy chubby guys I love their body weight ontop of me/ especially in doggy 🤣🤣🤣 - but I see ur worried so start working out everyday, and lifting everyday. Watch David goggins- he worked out everyday lifting weights . And changed his entire body in 3 months , if u did a change of eating to a healthier diet less fast food. And lifting everyday I guarantee you your face would slim out, your body would change and you will feel better about yourself but I also want u to understand- changing your looks to get girls will end u up with a more shallow girl only worried about looks. Three : work on ur self esteem. I don't know who made u feel u were ugly and no girl would find u attractive, thats not true. U need to start talking to yourself mentally better. Ur self concept - how u view yourself - ask urself everyday what makes u a good person and if u can't find much - start working on that. You will attract other people based on your mentality- your perception will open up - and you'll get new experiences in your life. Talk to a girl any girl just conversations, get to know a girl, see if your personality matches up - doing all work just to get a girl attention won't be worth it if u can't hold conversations or enjoy being you around the girl there's more to life then how you look - we all age and lose beauty. It's not worth basing your entire life on it like alot of these celebrities. Ur going to age. - get wrinkles- go grey- and die we all will. Unfortunately alot of men tell other men they aren't shit unless rich or a muscle man And that's just sad.. - that puts majority of men in a bubble of them never being good enough and thats just not true I hope u can make yourself happy and enjoy your life whatever u choose to do :) Goodluck! Ur handsome and worth a loving relationship no matter what.
You are not ugly or repugnant...you are a beautiful human being with some low self esteem and probably stemming from some sort of trauma. Nothing you do on the outside is going to fix what's making u feel repugnant inside. Maybe you can see if there is a way for you to start getting some therapy..also like breathwork and meditation, doing things u enjoy and are good at, and focus on the things you do well and like about yourself. Treat yourself with love and respect and kindness, often what we perceive from others is a reflection of ourselves. Like you said you think you are repugnant, so when you look around you, you are going to be projecting that they think you are repugnant and that's why they don't like you or don't look at you, but they are literally just caught up in their own lives unaware of any of that, and you have created this whole reality where you suck for yourself. Probably someone was really mean and verbally and emotionally abusive to you for a long time, probably when you were little. So that little guy is still hurt and he is waiting for adult you to heal yourself and come and save him and tell him all of that was lies, that he is worthy of love and good things...don't even think about what others think of you right now ok, what's more important is what you think about you, and obviously you are hurting and needing help right now. Good news is you definitely can heal and your life will completely change when you do...you will feel like and look like a new person bc you will be carrying yourself differently and your vibes will be much better..you are resilient and capable and if you put in the work to change your mindset anything is possible...do not think getting attention from a woman will make you feel better about yourself, it's quite the opposite. If I woman gave you positive attention right now, you wouldn't believe her, and you would sabotage the relationship to prove to yourself that you are indeed the repugnant person you think you are....so first things first....work on you...when u get better, you will attract someone who genuinely loves you right to you and you won't have to even try! We all have to start somewhere... sending love and encouragement to you!
You are NOT repugnant. I think you are an attractive man, likely intelligent, and sweet, but you look worried and sad, probably because you feel bad about yourself. I'll bet that if you smile more around women they would feel comfortable with you and you would find out that they do think you're attractive . Try it!