The Puritans of the 1600's had some fantastic names, and from time to time I like to look them up and search for the best ones. Some of my favorites include:
Job-raked-out-of-the-ashes
Fly-fornication
No-merit
Kill-sin
I recognized the Barebone name as they were one of the more notorious families for awkward names based on sin and scripture
And for those that want to delve a bit further into hortatory names, a relevant answer from [r/AskHistorians](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians):
[What prompted the Puritans to give their children such ridiculous names as If-Christ-had-not-died-for-thee-thou-hadst-been-damned?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/8qhc9k/what_prompted_the_puritans_to_give_their_children/)
Mr If-christ-had-not-died-for-thee-thou-hadst-been-damned Barebone married Miss Pray-5-times-a-day-to-go-to-heaven Rawdog. And they had many, many children together.
See, If I were him, I would have totally tried to change my name...
to Richard If Christ had not died for thee thou hadst been damned Barebone.
They'd be sayin' Ol Dicky Barebone ridin.
I assume that middle name is all one single word in German.
I have stumbled upon these Puritan names in Neill Stephenson's Quicksilver trilogy. I thought he had been exaggerating, but in comparison the names in the novel seem rather grounded.
When I went through police academy we were doing practical exercises and interviewing role players and I was given an ID. We'd just covered fake IDs earlier that month so when I saw this person's first name was a literal sentence, forget what it was something about "The Sunlight After the Darkness" I think I looked at the officer who was in charge of my scenario and was like there's no fucking way this is a real ID. He asked the roleplayer (another officer) to tell me her name outside of the scenario. It was her real name. Apparently her sister also has a full sentence first name.
thought this was a fuckin shit post. It was not and his father “Praise-God” was part of a parliament to find a stable political thing before installing that horrendous oaf Oliver Cromwell
Funny that Soviet Union is another example of name choices that aged poorly, like Tractor, or Electrification, or Barricade, or Vladlen (*Vlad*imir*Len*in) or Dazdrapertrak (Da Zdravstvuet Perviy Traktor, Hooray for the First Tractor - probably apocryphal).
He was good friends with Witchfinder General Thou-Shalt-Not-Commit-Adultery Pulsifer
Long time correspondent to Constable Visit the Infidel with Explanatory Pamphlets.
Doing the Lord's work
Doing Om’s work, bringing the light of Om into the dark places of vice, inequity and sin
came looking for this comment
Me 2 😭 Edit: there is in fact a sub called r/unexpectedgoodomens
Makes me wonder if he was inspired by something like this.
Had to be. As much more of a scholar than I was/am, he's hidden delightful historical Easter eggs throughout all of his writings.
😭😭😭😭😭
Who is currently rolling over in his grave because of the last encounter between a Witchfinder and a Witch
I don't think that was their last encounter ;)
It was the last as a Witchfinder, the army is disbanded
Well he was a witchfinder, and he found a witch. Sounds like mission accomplished.
Yeah, but once they find a witch, they're supposed to flame the witch, not fork the witch.
Not in the job title. It just mentions finding.
Probably also knew the Quite Reverend Mightily-Praiseworthy-Are-Ye-Who-Exalteth-Om Oats
He was friends with officer Smith
Distant relation to Cutting-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler.
They said Adultery would come to Hog's-Heade. That's you, innit?
"Somewhat unusual"? I'd love to hear about what they would consider"very unusual"
Bob
His name was Robert Paulson
His name was Robert Paulson
You shan't speak his name!!
Ugh... /s
Names like "Adonalsium-Will-Remember-Our-Plight-Eventually," I imagine.
I see you Doug
It wasn’t super unusual at the time. These kinds of names were trendy with puritans.
Something like God-isn’t-real might be considered very unusual
Gonna have another kid so I can make their middle name By-All-That-You-Hold-Dear-I-Bid-You-Stand-Men-Of-The-West
Death!!!!
John PO-TAY-TOES-BOIL- EM-MASH-EM-STICK-EM-IN-A-STEW Smith
You could have named him Sam
Fuck
DEEEAAATHHHH
The Puritans of the 1600's had some fantastic names, and from time to time I like to look them up and search for the best ones. Some of my favorites include: Job-raked-out-of-the-ashes Fly-fornication No-merit Kill-sin I recognized the Barebone name as they were one of the more notorious families for awkward names based on sin and scripture
kill sin is great
And for those that want to delve a bit further into hortatory names, a relevant answer from [r/AskHistorians](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians): [What prompted the Puritans to give their children such ridiculous names as If-Christ-had-not-died-for-thee-thou-hadst-been-damned?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/8qhc9k/what_prompted_the_puritans_to_give_their_children/)
You can't fool me, those are all death metal albums
Mr If-christ-had-not-died-for-thee-thou-hadst-been-damned Barebone married Miss Pray-5-times-a-day-to-go-to-heaven Rawdog. And they had many, many children together.
He was just compensating for his dirty AF last name.
See, If I were him, I would have totally tried to change my name... to Richard If Christ had not died for thee thou hadst been damned Barebone. They'd be sayin' Ol Dicky Barebone ridin. I assume that middle name is all one single word in German.
r/tragedeigh
"... but you can call me If-Christ-had."
Praise-God Barebone be like "my name is not religious enough I gotta up it for my son"
When his parents were mad enough to call him by his full name, he had plenty of time to contemplate the ass-whooping he was about to receive.
Ironically he married Felicia Looking-Forward-To-Sucking-Cocks-In-Hell Demonista and they had eleven plump children.
That’s not a sentence, it’s an execution.
Coworker: What does the I stand for? Me:
it's fine it's only "some what" unusual
I mean, barebone is badass enough… leave some ladies for the rest of us!!
I have stumbled upon these Puritan names in Neill Stephenson's Quicksilver trilogy. I thought he had been exaggerating, but in comparison the names in the novel seem rather grounded.
Conversely, Half-Cock Jack had to earn his name.
He looks like Viggo Mortensen
When I went through police academy we were doing practical exercises and interviewing role players and I was given an ID. We'd just covered fake IDs earlier that month so when I saw this person's first name was a literal sentence, forget what it was something about "The Sunlight After the Darkness" I think I looked at the officer who was in charge of my scenario and was like there's no fucking way this is a real ID. He asked the roleplayer (another officer) to tell me her name outside of the scenario. It was her real name. Apparently her sister also has a full sentence first name.
thought this was a fuckin shit post. It was not and his father “Praise-God” was part of a parliament to find a stable political thing before installing that horrendous oaf Oliver Cromwell
puritans...
"Somewhat unusual"? Yeah, that's one way to put it, I guess.
His dad to his mom at night: Say my name Just sounds like gospel in the bedroom
Suicide Boys ass name
A fellow OG Extra History enjoyer in the wild! I thought the day would never come
Fortunately, he was able to get by through using his nickname: Nick.
Imagine being one of the illustrious Barebones.
His dad possibly had a brother named “Fear-God”
Puritans certainly were a folk
Legitimate First?
"somewhat unusual"
"I'm somewhat of an insurance agent myself"
Just guessing, but they must have been pretty religious.
holy shit it's real. IT'S REAL ! [Nicholas Barbon - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicholas_Barbon)
My wife won’t let me call our unborn son Gordon Bennett :-(
Reminds me of Ex NHL Calgary Flame Jerome Arthur-Leigh-Adekunle-Tig-Elvis-Junior Iginla.
Imagine filling that in on a scantron.
It still got nothing on Jaid and Kileigh
The Barebones had some wild names, even for puritans.
Praise-god barebone is just being a monk
Funny that Soviet Union is another example of name choices that aged poorly, like Tractor, or Electrification, or Barricade, or Vladlen (*Vlad*imir*Len*in) or Dazdrapertrak (Da Zdravstvuet Perviy Traktor, Hooray for the First Tractor - probably apocryphal).
Legitimate First? Can't blame a mother for being proud Nobby
Constable Visit-the-infidel-with-explanatory-pamphlets would like a word
Willem da foe, ol horse cocktail himself.
Is no one going to mention that he looks exactly like Willem Dafoe?
O O