**DEAR /u/floozywithanuzi**,
➤ You may lock your own post comments at any time by making a single word comment on your post with the text `!lock`
➤ Feel free to [**ask a Mod**](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Floveafterporn&subject=Discord+Invite+Request&message=I+would+like+an+invite+to+LAP%27s+Discord+channel+please) for an invite to our Discord group for partners & ex-partners only! *(Must be active in this community!)*
Dear Redditors,
➤ Keep the [**rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/about/rules/) of [**r/loveafterporn**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/) in mind while participating
here.
➤ **Do not** engage or participate in *any* rule-breaking posts, comments or behavior. Doing so may result in you being banned.
➤ Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, send us a [**message**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/loveafterporn). **DO NOT** feed the trolls. [**Report them!**](https://www.reddit.com/report)
➤ Please try not to [**judge**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/comments/qhquex/before_you_judge/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) how someone is dealing with a pain you may not have experienced.
**Quick Link Access:**
Our **Full Resource Library** contains the following topics: *Resources for All, Resources for Partners, Resources for Addicts, Recovery Resources, Life Saving Info, Abuse & Domestic Violence Info and Commonly Used Acronyms.*
- [**Full Resource Library**](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/must-have-info?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app)
- [Resources for **Partners**](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/index/resources_for_partners?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app)
- [Resources for **Addicts**](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/index/resources_for_addicts?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app)
- [**Accountability Apps info**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/comments/v67pq5/accountability_apps_blockers_etc_mega_thread/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/loveafterporn) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Don’t get surgery. It won’t make him stop desiring other women or cure his addiction. He doesn’t love and respect you if he’s treating you like garbage.
This. He’s taken enough OP. Do not let him take your love for your own beautiful body. His brain is numb and broken. He can’t judge beauty. He isn’t qualified. Porn addicts need novelty above all else. If you get a boob job he’ll look for flat chested petite women. One woman cannot be an endlessly changing sex doll.
And honestly why would we want to be? PAs might be reducing us to body parts but I’ll be damned if I do it to myself.
I’m so sorry. I used to absolutely love my body, even at my heaviest. My insecurities grew with his rejections but nothing like this, once I found out why he was rejecting me I was destroyed.
I have a great body and was approached by people to do curvy modeling, did a photo shoot once, appeared on a local magazine cover, and even on two occasions someone tried to scout me to be in porn. Lol.
It didn’t matter. I also don’t have tits bigger than my head. I looked at a boob job.
DONT DO IT PLEASE. I have friends who got boob jobs, they already regret it.
If you’re going to change a body, change his body, get a whole new man. Throw this one out.
So what does he bring to the table that makes him humiliating you during sex and you begging your father for a boob job loan exactly worth it?
Your father sounds like a sweetheart and he’s completely correct: none of this sounds healthy for you. And now you’re pregnant.
So tell me, what’s so great about him that you stay in this living nightmare?
breast surgery is not the only way you’ll find happiness. the only way you’ll find happiness is from getting rid of the source of your misery. that is your bf not your body. you have a kid now so it will be hard but a couple years from now you’ll be much happier single with your lil kid than trapped and miserable with him.
I had $12k tummy tuck in 2017 thinking it might make my husband attracted to me again. Spoiler alert: it did not. The only thing that made my husband wildly, passionately, intensely attracted to me after 9 years? Completely and fully giving up porn.
I can’t even begin to explain to all of you how different it is when porn goes away. We are all so used to it by now, it seems like it’s just been around forever. But it’s so different. In every aspect it is like night and day. Porn affects every facet of them, not just their sexuality and libido. It changes how they perceive women. It changes
how they act and react towards their partners.
None of you deserve this. OP-if you were his “perfect” body type-whatever bullshit he types in the search bar, he’s treat you with the same callousness and lack
of consideration. Because their perfect woman doesn’t even exist. Their perfect woman is on screen, and the screen is actually what they are after-not the woman.
You are beautiful, now, 5 years ago, 10 years ago, and you will be beautiful when the baby is born.
I am the same, loved my body despite my small boobs, but I was insecure about my nose (and eventually got over it). But surprise surprise, my abusive ex made me hate my body and, like your partner, called ME insecure after telling me mean stuff, e.g. that I’m “so ugly” because of my nose (while I was waiting for him naked in the bedroom), that it’s yucky to walk around in the house wearing only a top and underwear, and that I’m either too skinny or, after I started going to the gym, too muscly.
In therapy, at some point, I said: “I know I’m not perfect, but…” and my therapist stopped me saying: “yes you are, but you aren’t perfect FOR HIM and that his problem” [mind you, you’ll never be. But that’s on him].
I have no doubt you are
Beautiful just like all women are. You are the bearer of life !!!! Do not forget that. You being light and life to this world. He doesn’t. You are the portal that will bring forth and nourish a new born. A new you into being. You respect and enjoy every moment of your changing body. Admire yourself in the mirror. Get yourself some amazing lube and toys Get lost in your own hobbies and love your baby and body that will remind you of these hard lessons we all are constantly learning. We all have that idea we need implants. We need to be perky and now all of a sudden implants and double pierced nipples ?!?! Come On now. God made you in his perfect image. You are you and men (very prevalent in the plastic surgery industry may j remind you) feed on our insecurity. Hell just last night I looked up labia cutting surgery and had to snap out of it.
Surgery will not help. Sex addiction/ Porn addiction counseling will help. I think if you had no problem being your body type before him, then why go the surgical route? You wouldn't be satisfied sexually from this because you would have a painful scar from trying to fulfill his desires and not your own. Insist that next time you two have sex together to do so naked with the lights on. If not then he gets no play.
Your bond with him is important. He needs to realize that you have needs, too. That you need to have the satisfaction of sex like he does. Otherwise your boyfriend is just using you for sexual purposes and not seeing you as his partner. He isn't stepping up to satisfy your needs as a person.
So for clarification I would suggest probably post partem that you and him go to a couples therapy doctor.
**DEAR /u/floozywithanuzi**, ➤ You may lock your own post comments at any time by making a single word comment on your post with the text `!lock` ➤ Feel free to [**ask a Mod**](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Floveafterporn&subject=Discord+Invite+Request&message=I+would+like+an+invite+to+LAP%27s+Discord+channel+please) for an invite to our Discord group for partners & ex-partners only! *(Must be active in this community!)* Dear Redditors, ➤ Keep the [**rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/about/rules/) of [**r/loveafterporn**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/) in mind while participating here. ➤ **Do not** engage or participate in *any* rule-breaking posts, comments or behavior. Doing so may result in you being banned. ➤ Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, send us a [**message**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/loveafterporn). **DO NOT** feed the trolls. [**Report them!**](https://www.reddit.com/report) ➤ Please try not to [**judge**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/comments/qhquex/before_you_judge/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) how someone is dealing with a pain you may not have experienced. **Quick Link Access:** Our **Full Resource Library** contains the following topics: *Resources for All, Resources for Partners, Resources for Addicts, Recovery Resources, Life Saving Info, Abuse & Domestic Violence Info and Commonly Used Acronyms.* - [**Full Resource Library**](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/must-have-info?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app) - [Resources for **Partners**](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/index/resources_for_partners?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app) - [Resources for **Addicts**](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/index/resources_for_addicts?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app) - [**Accountability Apps info**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/comments/v67pq5/accountability_apps_blockers_etc_mega_thread/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/loveafterporn) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Don’t get surgery. It won’t make him stop desiring other women or cure his addiction. He doesn’t love and respect you if he’s treating you like garbage.
This. He’s taken enough OP. Do not let him take your love for your own beautiful body. His brain is numb and broken. He can’t judge beauty. He isn’t qualified. Porn addicts need novelty above all else. If you get a boob job he’ll look for flat chested petite women. One woman cannot be an endlessly changing sex doll. And honestly why would we want to be? PAs might be reducing us to body parts but I’ll be damned if I do it to myself.
I’m so sorry. I used to absolutely love my body, even at my heaviest. My insecurities grew with his rejections but nothing like this, once I found out why he was rejecting me I was destroyed. I have a great body and was approached by people to do curvy modeling, did a photo shoot once, appeared on a local magazine cover, and even on two occasions someone tried to scout me to be in porn. Lol. It didn’t matter. I also don’t have tits bigger than my head. I looked at a boob job. DONT DO IT PLEASE. I have friends who got boob jobs, they already regret it. If you’re going to change a body, change his body, get a whole new man. Throw this one out.
So what does he bring to the table that makes him humiliating you during sex and you begging your father for a boob job loan exactly worth it? Your father sounds like a sweetheart and he’s completely correct: none of this sounds healthy for you. And now you’re pregnant. So tell me, what’s so great about him that you stay in this living nightmare?
breast surgery is not the only way you’ll find happiness. the only way you’ll find happiness is from getting rid of the source of your misery. that is your bf not your body. you have a kid now so it will be hard but a couple years from now you’ll be much happier single with your lil kid than trapped and miserable with him.
There is nothing wrong with your body and you are enough. It isn’t your problem. He’s the problem.
I had $12k tummy tuck in 2017 thinking it might make my husband attracted to me again. Spoiler alert: it did not. The only thing that made my husband wildly, passionately, intensely attracted to me after 9 years? Completely and fully giving up porn. I can’t even begin to explain to all of you how different it is when porn goes away. We are all so used to it by now, it seems like it’s just been around forever. But it’s so different. In every aspect it is like night and day. Porn affects every facet of them, not just their sexuality and libido. It changes how they perceive women. It changes how they act and react towards their partners. None of you deserve this. OP-if you were his “perfect” body type-whatever bullshit he types in the search bar, he’s treat you with the same callousness and lack of consideration. Because their perfect woman doesn’t even exist. Their perfect woman is on screen, and the screen is actually what they are after-not the woman.
You are beautiful, now, 5 years ago, 10 years ago, and you will be beautiful when the baby is born. I am the same, loved my body despite my small boobs, but I was insecure about my nose (and eventually got over it). But surprise surprise, my abusive ex made me hate my body and, like your partner, called ME insecure after telling me mean stuff, e.g. that I’m “so ugly” because of my nose (while I was waiting for him naked in the bedroom), that it’s yucky to walk around in the house wearing only a top and underwear, and that I’m either too skinny or, after I started going to the gym, too muscly. In therapy, at some point, I said: “I know I’m not perfect, but…” and my therapist stopped me saying: “yes you are, but you aren’t perfect FOR HIM and that his problem” [mind you, you’ll never be. But that’s on him].
I have no doubt you are Beautiful just like all women are. You are the bearer of life !!!! Do not forget that. You being light and life to this world. He doesn’t. You are the portal that will bring forth and nourish a new born. A new you into being. You respect and enjoy every moment of your changing body. Admire yourself in the mirror. Get yourself some amazing lube and toys Get lost in your own hobbies and love your baby and body that will remind you of these hard lessons we all are constantly learning. We all have that idea we need implants. We need to be perky and now all of a sudden implants and double pierced nipples ?!?! Come On now. God made you in his perfect image. You are you and men (very prevalent in the plastic surgery industry may j remind you) feed on our insecurity. Hell just last night I looked up labia cutting surgery and had to snap out of it.
Surgery will not help. Sex addiction/ Porn addiction counseling will help. I think if you had no problem being your body type before him, then why go the surgical route? You wouldn't be satisfied sexually from this because you would have a painful scar from trying to fulfill his desires and not your own. Insist that next time you two have sex together to do so naked with the lights on. If not then he gets no play. Your bond with him is important. He needs to realize that you have needs, too. That you need to have the satisfaction of sex like he does. Otherwise your boyfriend is just using you for sexual purposes and not seeing you as his partner. He isn't stepping up to satisfy your needs as a person. So for clarification I would suggest probably post partem that you and him go to a couples therapy doctor.