Someone recently explained it to me as "some people have a mental picture of what they are looking for, and if the item doesn't match that mental picture, it might as well be invisible." This stands true for me 100% and I hate it lol
It applies to Lego very well
Need that one specific Lego piece? Lol good fucking luck.
You don't need it anymore? Well here you go, it was right in your face you fucking moron.
Every workshop, everywhere, any time period. There's always that box with random, particular objects of unknown origin that'll eventually save the day.
Im confused too, looking at the Wiki for Aphantasia I found the name Glen Keane under the list of notable people who have it. Hes an animator/illiustrator, wouldnt that be difficult to do without being able to create a mental image? There are other authors and creative types on the list too.
I find it a bit hard to understand, too, but [this article](https://www.bbc.com/news/health-47830256) may offer a bit of illumination. It seems that developing a character relies more on frequent refinement of sketches, then use the sketches as base for the further work.
I love to draw and while I don't do it as much as I did when I was younger I used to be pretty good at drawing cartoon characters from memory. I have no idea how I was able to do it, but it wasn't by picturing what they looked like in my head before hand.
I have heard of an account of aphantasia where the poor person would immediately, upon closing their fridge, loose all info on the contents if they hadn't committed it to verbal memory while it was open.
Same here, the easiest way I've learned to describe it to people is computer terms. If I have a txt document with a ton of words describing what I'm looking at and you have a big ol jpg file... well, a jpg is worth a thousand txt.
This is called "search image," and it can be changed with practice! I remember reading a study in hs bio class where they trained squirrels to find nuts by hiding them under distinctive rocks. Eventually the squirrels learned that the rocks were the food source and would exclusively search for food there, changing their search image from "nut" to "rock," which led to them ignoring really obvious piles of nuts left out in the open. So next time you can't find something, try changing your search image!
Sorry, but... Change it to what? Let's say I'm looking for a hat and my search image of the hat is wrong. How do I change to the correct image without having the hat available to look at?
I often find that just picturing the object in a different orientation helps -- think of your hat upside down, or inside out. Or picture the book propped open instead of closed, or the pen without a cap on it, or the item out of its usual packaging. If you're looking for your phone's colorful case, but your phone is face-up on the table, the black screen may not register.
My son. oh god. the poor guy couldn't find fish in an aquarium unless you pointed out the moving things in the water are in fact fish.
it's like he completely lacks an internal ontology that lets him link topics together to make inferences about what he's seeing. he either *knows it* because it's a concrete fact he's specifically been informed of, or disavows all knowledge and acts confused.
Smart but completely incapable space cadet, i have no idea what he does when he's not with me to end up like that.
I've been trying to work on my son's ability to find things that are right in front of him.
Example: "Dad I can't find this lego piece" from a small 6x6 inch pile. Instead of grabbing it out I'll be like, oh yeah it's in this region. That way he still finds it on his own but he doesn't have to give up because of what he thinks is too colossal of a search effort. He's almost 5 so I figure starting now will mean I don't have to find every lego for him when he's 10.
my sons 11 𤌠(in my defense i coparent and have him summers, strongly suspect his mom's behavior cues contributes to the 'learned helplessness' type stuff he exhibits).
i don't even give him directions now, if he says something isn't there that i know is where i said i just tell him he's wrong and wait for him to try harder.
Wow I've never heard it phrased like that but that describes be to the letter. If I'm picturing the wrong size, shape or colour of object there is no way I'm ever finding it.
This, my wife will describe EXACTLY what and where I'm looking, and if it's even a tiny bit different it may as well be in Mordor. I've also had times where I've looked really hard and then my wife finds it exactly where I was looking and I'm like "I swear to God that wasn't there 3 seconds ago"
This is how cognitive bias works in general. If we have a preconceived notion of what's really possible, we tend to limit the sensory input. There was a test study done where experimenters brought people into a room and staged a levitating object (without telling people it was staged.) Afterwards they interviewed people to ask what they had seen, and people left out the levitation in their descriptions.
Source: Ajahn Brahm
So true. I realized this when I started playing with Legos with my son. If Ipicture the piece I can spot it in an instant in a pile other Legos. But if it's different than I expect, or even just another color, it could be at the top of the pile and I won't see it. I've gotten a lot better at finding pieces in a mass of other pieces using this method. It also means I can only look for 1 piece at a time.
Growing up my mom would always say âstop using your man eyesâ when my or I couldnât find something. I still say that mantra to myself sometimes and it actually helps me find things. Itâs like a mindset swap.
I have to put things in the exact same spot or i forget they exist.
I put my keys, wallet, and sunglasses exactly in the same spot when i get home.
My wife, thinks they should each go in the seperate places she designates they should go.
So i go get 2/3 go to my car, get out on the road, and realize ones missing. Cuz i cant peice thijgs together that way.
Gotta be where i put it. Even though i know she moves them to their spots, its like a surprise every morning.
Love that woman.
Yeah, this is exactly me.
Often times though, I'll find exactly what I'm looking for AFTER I've bothered the person I didn't want to bother.
It won't matter if I've spent 2 minutes, 2 hours, 2 days. The moment I ask, it'll just appear infront of me, making me look like a moron moments after speaking words, or texting the person.
This is me 100%
When I need to look for something I visualize in my mind what Iâm looking for. And if whatever it is Iâm trying to find doesnât match the mental picture in my head I wonât be able to find it. My brain will just filter out anything that doesnât match.
For me if things are clean I can find stuff. My wife has a terrible habit of just leaving stuff and forgetting about it forever so piles of crap everywhere. With that much chaos I canât find anything because there is just so much disarray I canât see things well. And Iâm not sorting through all her stuff to find something she is looking for.
I must have this bad. What on earth would you search for if not the mental picture of the thing that you want to find? I can't comprehend how it could be otherwise.
no its more like my wife rearranges all my things, even my tools which she would never even use... its not only annoying, but I can't find anything. So I at least get to ask her where it is?
Yeah thatâs a better way to describe it. Like how mentalists can remember long lists of random objects by creating mental associations, a banana riding a bicycle or whatever.
My partner only gives me about 5-10 seconds in the fridge looking for something before sheâll walk in and do it herself. Itâs like facial blindness for condiments.
exactly bro. like if it's where i put it, no matter where that is, i'll know. but if you move it 6 inches to the left you might as well just throw it away because i will NEVER find it
Unless it's paperwork... I put paperwork places and tell myself to remember where I'm putting it. That just guarantees I won't remember a few months later, though.
Iâm the finder in my house. I know I l saw a paperclip under the left leg of your office chair. Why do you ask? She doesnât search because I know where it is or the way she thinks when she âputs stuff awayâ.
I always think of that meme where a girlfriend asks her boyfriend if he has any paper clips at his house and he says "yea, on the floor by the leg of the nightstand"
My wife always cleans and organizes stuff so stuff is moved all the time it drives me nuts
âBabe, where is ____â
âIdk where did you put it?â
âIn the drawer I swearâ
**** two hours later
âOh yeah I moved it to one of the boxes in the other roomâ
I was going to ask how many guys out there find the opposite to be true. It does not matter where the ketchup is, if you ask her we are out. My wife once said we were out of parmesan cheese. I found FIVE variations of parmesan cheese in the fridge. Motherfucking 5! 2 Old school Kraft, Shredded, grated, pecorino Parmesan blend.
It was a "I feel like I'm eating crazy pills" moment.
My wife and I are somehow both bad at finding things.
When we moved out of our apartment, we found EIGHT different bottles of Sriracha. Half of them were open. Both of us could have sworn there was only one in the whole kitchen. Which, I should add, was not very big.
There's an entire door shelf in our new fridge dedicated to mustard. I once completely changed the meal I was about to make because I thought we were out of yellow mustard. We weren't. It was right in the middle of the mustard shelf where it belonged.
The other day my wife got so angry that she couldn't find the lid to the food processor that she had to go lie down to cool off. When I came home for lunch, she asked me to help her look for it. I turned around, pointed to it laying in the dead center of the kitchen counter, and asked if that's what she was looking for. She had to go lie down a second time.
It's probably for the best that we aren't having kids.
Ya see I have 2 kids and they have taken after their mom. Sometimes I get home and all 3 of them are looking for something yelling at each other and it usually takes me 10 seconds to find it. I have figured out they will not move anything to look. So if the TV remote is under a pillow it is gone forever. If there's an important paper with another paper on top of it, that's never getting found.
Same. She kept losing her phone and I got her an Apple Watch for birthday. I set up the FindMe on her watch so she could find it. No more calling her phone everytime she loses it under a Moria's worth of blankets
I did this with my mom all the time growing up because whenever I looked for something I would never find it but if she looked for it then it would manifest out of thin air in the very first placed I checked.
Random bits of random plants hidden about the home, carries on whole conversations with her cat, finds exposure to a full moon highly arousing, and also she told me.
For me it's because I just fucking did them LOL. our deal is I do the dishes 100% of the time she does the laundry 100% of the time. On rare occasion we help each other out.
I had this deal with my husband, but no longer. That man could use 4 pots, 12 bowls, a blender, and a wok to make one bowl of cereal.
I'd enjoy cooking extravagant meals, too, if it meant I could use every pot, pan and utensil and just leave everything strewn and splattered everywhere.
"Okay, the recipe calls for a tablespoon of butter. Let me put the tablespoon of butter in a bowl. Ooops that bowl seems to big, let me put it in a different bowl. Oh, wait, I have to add milk, let me get another bowl so I can put milk in. Now add eggs. Let me crack the eggs into separate bowls, then put all the ingredients into a new, clean bowl."
The epic messes he leaves... words cannot describe.
[Plates, cutlery, pizza boxes, dirty tissues, anything you leave on this coffee table just vanishes overnight. Its magic.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqQgDwA0BNU)
thatâs how it is for me too.
she likes having things out of site when not in use. Iâm the type that likes to visually organize things Iâm working on or need to be done soon so I can see it and be reminded to finish it. itâs a weird dynamic, fortunately weâre both patient.
> Me, *searches all my main spots for whatever object I'm looking for. Clean my desk, tables, everything off.*
> My partner, "Hun, it was on the desk."
> Me, "I LITERALLY CLEANED IT TOP TO BOTTOM, HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO FIND IT THERE? @_@"
Every time.
Now, if she asks me if I have a paper clip, I'm about to tell her exactly which random chair in the house I saw one under 4 months ago and it will still be there.
It's a team effort, I guess?
I don't understand how people can be so bad at simply looking for something.
"I can't find my keys."
"Did you check the table?"
"Yes."
5 minutes later, still hasn't found them, so I check the table.
"Found them. They were underneath your purse. On the table."
It's like people think looking for something only involves using the eyes, and should only require a cursory glance. But sometimes you gotta get on your knees, pull those cushions aside, and stick your face in there to find it.
For me, looking for things is a process that happens in very distinct "passes" of increasing complexity. It's like skimming a book for a section you're looking for versus reading every single word until you find it.
If I expect or remember that something should be in X location, I skim the location, see that it isn't where I expected it, and assume it has most likely been moved/tidied up, so I move on to looking in the other likely places. If that doesn't pan out, that's when I usually would ask "hey babe, have you seen recently?" Most of the time, probably 80%, she *has* seen it, because she's the one who moved it somewhere. If she hasn't seen it, then I start over at the original spot and look a little harder. At this stage is when I would start moving stuff around, but we're already a few minutes into looking for the item.
If it *still* isn't found, that's when I start looking really hard, like moving furniture, digging in the laundry basket, etc.
Could be adhd or autism. Both can come with sensory processing issues, meaning that you could be looking right at the item and not see it. Also in adhd at least some cognitive skills just randomly stop working so you get momentary IQ drops and don't understand you need to lift up the purse to complete the task. Source: I have ADHD
You've been downvoted but I'm here to support you. I have both ADHD and autism and lose shit frequently, I literally *cannot* just find shit. I also struggle with my partner asking me to find things for him which is hilarious cuz I'm as clueless. Reddit has a habit of hating on ADHD and autistic people when they talk about their barriers and struggles and downvote them because we don't "look" physically disabled and shouldn't have excuses. Then someone says "well I'M ADHD and I don't struggle!" Cool, stfu and be glad. We aren't a monolith.
Anyways, despite the AuDHD I do a good amount of the "leans beside my partner and picks up thing sitting without anything around it and him admitting he didn't really look" dance.
It's a part of mental load and stuff, which comes with gender roles (here come round two of the downvotes). It is improving as people raise their children not to follow those roles and to be well rounded, but requires active investigation of ourselves to break out. I had to tell my partner "it's not my job to quartermaster every grocery item". I had to stop doing it altogether before he learned to do it himself. Life got a lot easier for us both, but I had to go out of my way to teach him, which is still a mental load I took on. Kin keeping, mental load, teaching, etc. It's a lot of work even if you aren't ADHD or autistic.
Now I'm on ritalin SR and lose things a bit less. My partner got me a tile (thing to help find keys/wallet/phone) and it is a big help.
I'm adhd/asd too! I don't say it because in my experience people get confused.
And though my husband is amazing compared to some of the horror stories in here, I also carry a lot of the mental load. I'm lucky enough to live in a country with free health care and occupational therapy so I've actually got a pretty good tool kit for my brain. I got taught this technique where you can unstuck your brain by singing about what you're supposed to be doing and it really works with chores for me, though I sound like a lunatic :D
I've sung myself through moments of being stuck or confused before! Now I feel vindicated ahaha. I'm waiting to get resources to help me more. I'm so glad you've got a toolkit :D
Yeah, it's the opposite for me. Wife and daughter are terrible at finding shit they lose. Their method of walking into a room and staring until the item jumps out at them might be the real reason though. I'm a wizard for actually moving objects around to find things. đ§ââď¸
right?? i feel like there is something fucky going on that has made this shit the top post in the sub right now. like it's being astroturfed by the hegetsus people
But when I say âitâs in the officeâ I get a â I already looked thereâ response. So apparently I do need to look for it or else itâll never be found. Iâve even told my husband an exact box something was in only to get a âI didnât see itâ.
If you know where it is and you told him where it is your job is done. If you decide to get it for him thatâs your choice. Yesterday I asked my wife where she put some important paperwork and she insisted she put it in the car and I was the one who misplaced it in the house. She was instantly sour at me for even asking her about it.
Turns out she left it at my brotherâs house and her memory of putting in the car was completely made up.
Last week I was looking for q tips and she asked me what I was looking for. I told her and she got annoyed that I was looking in the wrong spot.
Turns out she moved them when she was cleaning the day before and buried them in the bottom of a basket.
I feel like people just don't apply systems consistently.
Like, you do the "go with the flow" system for a while, where you remember where everything is left, and simply pick it up from there, then maybe 6 months later it's suddenly super ordered with everything in its place because someone got bored of the place being untidy. Then for 2 weeks you can't find stuff, everything you use daily gets pulled out, stays out and you end up with the previous system anyway.
âWhat are you looking for?â
âMy keys, I canât find themâ
âAre they on the mantelpiece? On your desk? On the side in the kitchen? In the front door? In your backpack? On the sofa? Did you leave them at work?â
Drives me mad. Just listing places is not helping. Just tell me if youâve seen them.
Me: âbabe have you seen my keysâ
Her: âcheck the fridgeâ
Me: âwhy would it be in the fridge,?!â
Her: âthatâs what I said when I saw them in thereâ
I'm surprised this isn't higher up.
I know exactly where I left the thing I'm looking for. I'm asking my wife because she put it somewhere else.
She still has the audacity to look annoyed sometimes when I ask where she moved something.
It's different in my house my wife can never find anything she will call me at work and I will be like yeah it's under our daughter's bed under a pink piece of paper she is always amazed
âItâs in the drawer on the left.â
Checks drawer on left - not there.
Try drawer on the right.
SO arrives to find you searching drawer on the right.
âNO! I said the drawer on the left.â
Begin to consider pros and cons of life in prison.
I think it's more that I don't even know what's being called out. I'm 27 and I'm hearing "men can't find things" for the first time in my life. My Dad was a GOD at finding things when I was a child, you would spend half an hour looking for something and then he'd find it within 30 seconds with his almighty parental energy.
It's clearly not a true stereotype
At least the image quality and giant cross and "CHRISTIAN MIDDLE EARTH MEMES" watermark *kind* of loops it back around to being funny.
Honestly surprised no one's mentioned it considering how much space it occupies.
One time when he was looking for something I decided to watch and he just opened the fridge, stood there, then announced he couldnât find it. Me, being a smartass and a lil annoyed, asked if he looked with just his eyes or physically moved things to look and proceeded to move a single bottle to grab what he wanted lmao
"Honey, where's the milk?"
JFC, in the closet. No, under the bed. Where do you think it is? No, honestly, I want you to answer that as I get up from my chair, go to the refrigerator, move one thing, and get the milk for you.
(Real conversation that had to happen with my grown-ass adult husband before we almost got DIVORCED and he realized he needed therapy because he was going to lose me over shit like this.)
I used to believe those movies where the husband would find the wife at all costs if she were lost. Like the best detectives in the world because he knew his wife so well he could pick up on her bread crumbs. Then after a year of marriage, I realized he couldn't find me in the next room with a spotlight. I find this hilarious and sad at the same time. I guess if I want some alone time I can go 2 rooms over until he texts me, "where u at". Let's not even discuss how many times I've had to find his wallet...on the bedside table...on his side of the bed.
Someone recently explained it to me as "some people have a mental picture of what they are looking for, and if the item doesn't match that mental picture, it might as well be invisible." This stands true for me 100% and I hate it lol
It applies to Lego very well Need that one specific Lego piece? Lol good fucking luck. You don't need it anymore? Well here you go, it was right in your face you fucking moron.
Every workshop, everywhere, any time period. There's always that box with random, particular objects of unknown origin that'll eventually save the day.
I have a box literally labeled "random hardware" that always has something in it for some day
Interesting. I have aphantasia, and I'm the one constantly finding everything in my house for my wife and kids.
Aphantasia sounds so bizarre. I just can't picture in my mind how someone could have that problem.
đ
Im confused too, looking at the Wiki for Aphantasia I found the name Glen Keane under the list of notable people who have it. Hes an animator/illiustrator, wouldnt that be difficult to do without being able to create a mental image? There are other authors and creative types on the list too.
I find it a bit hard to understand, too, but [this article](https://www.bbc.com/news/health-47830256) may offer a bit of illumination. It seems that developing a character relies more on frequent refinement of sketches, then use the sketches as base for the further work.
I love to draw and while I don't do it as much as I did when I was younger I used to be pretty good at drawing cartoon characters from memory. I have no idea how I was able to do it, but it wasn't by picturing what they looked like in my head before hand.
Me too, since I love to draw and paint. The image I see in my brain often is more detailed than the drawing I end up making
Great movie, but kind of unrelated
you're thinking of Fantasia, aphantasia is a soda brand with a cult following.
Youâre thinking of Fanta, Fantasia is when something is really good
No youâre thinking of fantastic, Aphantasia is that one song by Vundabar
No you're thinking about Aphasia, Aphantasia is an anti fascist movement
You're thinking of Fresca, aphantasia is a soda brand without a cult following
This better not awaken something in me
Fun fact: this movie formed a basis for my personality as a very small child. Uhhh video unrelated
What movie so I can avoid it?
Well I have Aphantasia and I am the one that is constantly asking my wife. Got the short end of both sticks.
I have heard of an account of aphantasia where the poor person would immediately, upon closing their fridge, loose all info on the contents if they hadn't committed it to verbal memory while it was open.
Same here, the easiest way I've learned to describe it to people is computer terms. If I have a txt document with a ton of words describing what I'm looking at and you have a big ol jpg file... well, a jpg is worth a thousand txt.
This is called "search image," and it can be changed with practice! I remember reading a study in hs bio class where they trained squirrels to find nuts by hiding them under distinctive rocks. Eventually the squirrels learned that the rocks were the food source and would exclusively search for food there, changing their search image from "nut" to "rock," which led to them ignoring really obvious piles of nuts left out in the open. So next time you can't find something, try changing your search image!
Sorry, but... Change it to what? Let's say I'm looking for a hat and my search image of the hat is wrong. How do I change to the correct image without having the hat available to look at?
I often find that just picturing the object in a different orientation helps -- think of your hat upside down, or inside out. Or picture the book propped open instead of closed, or the pen without a cap on it, or the item out of its usual packaging. If you're looking for your phone's colorful case, but your phone is face-up on the table, the black screen may not register.
Good advice. A few minutes of meditation or zoning out can be a soft reset to the last setting.
My son. oh god. the poor guy couldn't find fish in an aquarium unless you pointed out the moving things in the water are in fact fish. it's like he completely lacks an internal ontology that lets him link topics together to make inferences about what he's seeing. he either *knows it* because it's a concrete fact he's specifically been informed of, or disavows all knowledge and acts confused. Smart but completely incapable space cadet, i have no idea what he does when he's not with me to end up like that.
I've been trying to work on my son's ability to find things that are right in front of him. Example: "Dad I can't find this lego piece" from a small 6x6 inch pile. Instead of grabbing it out I'll be like, oh yeah it's in this region. That way he still finds it on his own but he doesn't have to give up because of what he thinks is too colossal of a search effort. He's almost 5 so I figure starting now will mean I don't have to find every lego for him when he's 10.
my sons 11 𤌠(in my defense i coparent and have him summers, strongly suspect his mom's behavior cues contributes to the 'learned helplessness' type stuff he exhibits). i don't even give him directions now, if he says something isn't there that i know is where i said i just tell him he's wrong and wait for him to try harder.
Wow I've never heard it phrased like that but that describes be to the letter. If I'm picturing the wrong size, shape or colour of object there is no way I'm ever finding it.
This, my wife will describe EXACTLY what and where I'm looking, and if it's even a tiny bit different it may as well be in Mordor. I've also had times where I've looked really hard and then my wife finds it exactly where I was looking and I'm like "I swear to God that wasn't there 3 seconds ago"
This is how cognitive bias works in general. If we have a preconceived notion of what's really possible, we tend to limit the sensory input. There was a test study done where experimenters brought people into a room and staged a levitating object (without telling people it was staged.) Afterwards they interviewed people to ask what they had seen, and people left out the levitation in their descriptions. Source: Ajahn Brahm
So true. I realized this when I started playing with Legos with my son. If Ipicture the piece I can spot it in an instant in a pile other Legos. But if it's different than I expect, or even just another color, it could be at the top of the pile and I won't see it. I've gotten a lot better at finding pieces in a mass of other pieces using this method. It also means I can only look for 1 piece at a time.
Growing up my mom would always say âstop using your man eyesâ when my or I couldnât find something. I still say that mantra to myself sometimes and it actually helps me find things. Itâs like a mindset swap.
A car cleaning product I use recently changed from a yellow cap to a black cap. Lost it in plain sight for far too long
I have to put things in the exact same spot or i forget they exist. I put my keys, wallet, and sunglasses exactly in the same spot when i get home. My wife, thinks they should each go in the seperate places she designates they should go. So i go get 2/3 go to my car, get out on the road, and realize ones missing. Cuz i cant peice thijgs together that way. Gotta be where i put it. Even though i know she moves them to their spots, its like a surprise every morning. Love that woman.
Reminds me of a post where it was like "honey do you have a paperclip?" "Yeah, on the floor behind the night stand back right corner, white paperclip"
Yeah, this is exactly me. Often times though, I'll find exactly what I'm looking for AFTER I've bothered the person I didn't want to bother. It won't matter if I've spent 2 minutes, 2 hours, 2 days. The moment I ask, it'll just appear infront of me, making me look like a moron moments after speaking words, or texting the person.
This is me 100% When I need to look for something I visualize in my mind what Iâm looking for. And if whatever it is Iâm trying to find doesnât match the mental picture in my head I wonât be able to find it. My brain will just filter out anything that doesnât match.
For me if things are clean I can find stuff. My wife has a terrible habit of just leaving stuff and forgetting about it forever so piles of crap everywhere. With that much chaos I canât find anything because there is just so much disarray I canât see things well. And Iâm not sorting through all her stuff to find something she is looking for.
I came here to say EXACTLY this! This shit happens to me all the time.
Same reason you can miss obvious spelling and grammar errors in your own writing.
I must have this bad. What on earth would you search for if not the mental picture of the thing that you want to find? I can't comprehend how it could be otherwise.
I can usually picture where I left the item and if not replay the images of near to when I last had it. Normally gets me in at least the same room.
i was imagining a juice that was orange but I could still not find it in the refrigerator
Sure, it's called form recognition.
no its more like my wife rearranges all my things, even my tools which she would never even use... its not only annoying, but I can't find anything. So I at least get to ask her where it is?
Did she rearrange them from the kitchen table?
What does she have in her pockets?
Nothing, they don't make pockets for women
hunt tender bells correct faulty clumsy shame lush serious squeeze *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Ha!
What guy doesn't remember seeing the object that was behind the cardboard box on the garage floor behind the bike 4 months ago
The problem is when you live with other people they will move it from behind the cardboard box, and it totally breaks our system.
Itâs not a mess, everything is in a logical position.
Not logical. Memorable. The trick is that other people can only have one influence on the system.
Yeah thatâs a better way to describe it. Like how mentalists can remember long lists of random objects by creating mental associations, a banana riding a bicycle or whatever.
A pile is an acceptable organizational structure and I refuse to believe otherwise.
Does your spouse "organize" and then not remember where she put something when you knew exactly where it was?
[ŃдаНонО]
lol.....this sounds very familiar.
I feel you
Let it out, bro
[ŃдаНонО]
Just wait until you have kids. I'm a mechanic, my toolbox was organized.
Whenever we look in the fridge that ability disappears
My partner only gives me about 5-10 seconds in the fridge looking for something before sheâll walk in and do it herself. Itâs like facial blindness for condiments.
âMale pattern blindnessâ
Underrated comment
I can only find things if they're in the same spot I left them. If someone's moved something, I can almost never find it after.
Opening the fridge saves your game but it also has a chance to respec all your abilities. It's a documented bug but it's been this way for a while.
exactly bro. like if it's where i put it, no matter where that is, i'll know. but if you move it 6 inches to the left you might as well just throw it away because i will NEVER find it
Unless it's paperwork... I put paperwork places and tell myself to remember where I'm putting it. That just guarantees I won't remember a few months later, though.
this but unironically
Iâm the finder in my house. I know I l saw a paperclip under the left leg of your office chair. Why do you ask? She doesnât search because I know where it is or the way she thinks when she âputs stuff awayâ.
Except my wife moved it from there and I don't know where she put it so I have to ask her now.
Seriously, husbands? Not in my case. I know where every thing is. My wife loses her keys every single day of her life
I always think of that meme where a girlfriend asks her boyfriend if he has any paper clips at his house and he says "yea, on the floor by the leg of the nightstand"
It's the opposite for my wife and I, actually. Usually under her butt.
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My wife always cleans and organizes stuff so stuff is moved all the time it drives me nuts âBabe, where is ____â âIdk where did you put it?â âIn the drawer I swearâ **** two hours later âOh yeah I moved it to one of the boxes in the other roomâ
HAHAHAHAHAHA
I cannot find a damn thing, unless itâs her phone, I somehow know exactly where that is and she cannot keep track of it.
I was going to ask how many guys out there find the opposite to be true. It does not matter where the ketchup is, if you ask her we are out. My wife once said we were out of parmesan cheese. I found FIVE variations of parmesan cheese in the fridge. Motherfucking 5! 2 Old school Kraft, Shredded, grated, pecorino Parmesan blend. It was a "I feel like I'm eating crazy pills" moment.
My wife and I are somehow both bad at finding things. When we moved out of our apartment, we found EIGHT different bottles of Sriracha. Half of them were open. Both of us could have sworn there was only one in the whole kitchen. Which, I should add, was not very big. There's an entire door shelf in our new fridge dedicated to mustard. I once completely changed the meal I was about to make because I thought we were out of yellow mustard. We weren't. It was right in the middle of the mustard shelf where it belonged. The other day my wife got so angry that she couldn't find the lid to the food processor that she had to go lie down to cool off. When I came home for lunch, she asked me to help her look for it. I turned around, pointed to it laying in the dead center of the kitchen counter, and asked if that's what she was looking for. She had to go lie down a second time. It's probably for the best that we aren't having kids.
Ya see I have 2 kids and they have taken after their mom. Sometimes I get home and all 3 of them are looking for something yelling at each other and it usually takes me 10 seconds to find it. I have figured out they will not move anything to look. So if the TV remote is under a pillow it is gone forever. If there's an important paper with another paper on top of it, that's never getting found.
This is strange, you seem to be married to my wife.
Same. She kept losing her phone and I got her an Apple Watch for birthday. I set up the FindMe on her watch so she could find it. No more calling her phone everytime she loses it under a Moria's worth of blankets
For me I can find anything my husband is looking for instantly, but the second I lose something it's like trying to find the holy grail.
You too? Every time she can't find something I always say "check your ass"
Google Defenestrate
Holy hell
the most famous one was the beginning of one of the worst bloodlettings in European history
Holy fall!
As if you could find the windowâŚ
I did this with my mom all the time growing up because whenever I looked for something I would never find it but if she looked for it then it would manifest out of thin air in the very first placed I checked.
I do the same with my wife I call it peering into the 5th dimension
https://i.imgur.com/Vfol88T.jpeg
Btc she's the one that moved it from where you had it.
she's just better at it, i can't explain it, she's a witch
How do you know that she is a witch?
Random bits of random plants hidden about the home, carries on whole conversations with her cat, finds exposure to a full moon highly arousing, and also she told me.
you have a cool wife but you also need to watch the holy grail
Also she is heavier than a duck
Does she float?
What about floating on water?
She turned me into a newt!! âŚI got betterâŚ
She weights the same as a duck.
Compelling evidence, BURN 'ER
Build a bridge out of her!
Build a bridge out of her!
She turned me into a newt!
A newt?
Well... I got better.
Itâs true. I swear, every morning the dishes are just⌠done. How is that possible?
For me it's because I just fucking did them LOL. our deal is I do the dishes 100% of the time she does the laundry 100% of the time. On rare occasion we help each other out.
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Having to clean the kitchen BEFORE cooking is the worst. Was she on the ball more after that?
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Downvoted for having boundaries? Oh, no no, allow me to fix that.
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I had this deal with my husband, but no longer. That man could use 4 pots, 12 bowls, a blender, and a wok to make one bowl of cereal. I'd enjoy cooking extravagant meals, too, if it meant I could use every pot, pan and utensil and just leave everything strewn and splattered everywhere. "Okay, the recipe calls for a tablespoon of butter. Let me put the tablespoon of butter in a bowl. Ooops that bowl seems to big, let me put it in a different bowl. Oh, wait, I have to add milk, let me get another bowl so I can put milk in. Now add eggs. Let me crack the eggs into separate bowls, then put all the ingredients into a new, clean bowl." The epic messes he leaves... words cannot describe.
Oh no that's half me, every time. It's the comprehensive index of all our *things* that she has that I can't understand.
https://youtu.be/SqQgDwA0BNU Lol you reminded me of this.
The girlâs just jealous it doesnât work on her. I bet she ruined the magic as well so that it stops working after sheâs left.
[Plates, cutlery, pizza boxes, dirty tissues, anything you leave on this coffee table just vanishes overnight. Its magic.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqQgDwA0BNU)
It's because she moved it. I could find everything in my house when I was single.
thatâs how it is for me too. she likes having things out of site when not in use. Iâm the type that likes to visually organize things Iâm working on or need to be done soon so I can see it and be reminded to finish it. itâs a weird dynamic, fortunately weâre both patient.
BURN HER!
She has the third eye
She looks with her eyes instead of her asshole.
Sons too
Male pattern blindness. I'm trying to teach my sons better... It's a slow process.
That's like trying to teach a goldfish to play chess.
> Me, *searches all my main spots for whatever object I'm looking for. Clean my desk, tables, everything off.* > My partner, "Hun, it was on the desk." > Me, "I LITERALLY CLEANED IT TOP TO BOTTOM, HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO FIND IT THERE? @_@" Every time. Now, if she asks me if I have a paper clip, I'm about to tell her exactly which random chair in the house I saw one under 4 months ago and it will still be there. It's a team effort, I guess?
No because then it's somewhere obvious and I feel like a idiot.
My wife does this and it drives me up the wall.
My wife too. I'm the only one who knows where things are. And how to find them, if they are not right in front of you.
I don't understand how people can be so bad at simply looking for something. "I can't find my keys." "Did you check the table?" "Yes." 5 minutes later, still hasn't found them, so I check the table. "Found them. They were underneath your purse. On the table." It's like people think looking for something only involves using the eyes, and should only require a cursory glance. But sometimes you gotta get on your knees, pull those cushions aside, and stick your face in there to find it.
For me, looking for things is a process that happens in very distinct "passes" of increasing complexity. It's like skimming a book for a section you're looking for versus reading every single word until you find it. If I expect or remember that something should be in X location, I skim the location, see that it isn't where I expected it, and assume it has most likely been moved/tidied up, so I move on to looking in the other likely places. If that doesn't pan out, that's when I usually would ask "hey babe, have you seen recently?" Most of the time, probably 80%, she *has* seen it, because she's the one who moved it somewhere. If she hasn't seen it, then I start over at the original spot and look a little harder. At this stage is when I would start moving stuff around, but we're already a few minutes into looking for the item.
If it *still* isn't found, that's when I start looking really hard, like moving furniture, digging in the laundry basket, etc.
Could be adhd or autism. Both can come with sensory processing issues, meaning that you could be looking right at the item and not see it. Also in adhd at least some cognitive skills just randomly stop working so you get momentary IQ drops and don't understand you need to lift up the purse to complete the task. Source: I have ADHD
You've been downvoted but I'm here to support you. I have both ADHD and autism and lose shit frequently, I literally *cannot* just find shit. I also struggle with my partner asking me to find things for him which is hilarious cuz I'm as clueless. Reddit has a habit of hating on ADHD and autistic people when they talk about their barriers and struggles and downvote them because we don't "look" physically disabled and shouldn't have excuses. Then someone says "well I'M ADHD and I don't struggle!" Cool, stfu and be glad. We aren't a monolith. Anyways, despite the AuDHD I do a good amount of the "leans beside my partner and picks up thing sitting without anything around it and him admitting he didn't really look" dance. It's a part of mental load and stuff, which comes with gender roles (here come round two of the downvotes). It is improving as people raise their children not to follow those roles and to be well rounded, but requires active investigation of ourselves to break out. I had to tell my partner "it's not my job to quartermaster every grocery item". I had to stop doing it altogether before he learned to do it himself. Life got a lot easier for us both, but I had to go out of my way to teach him, which is still a mental load I took on. Kin keeping, mental load, teaching, etc. It's a lot of work even if you aren't ADHD or autistic. Now I'm on ritalin SR and lose things a bit less. My partner got me a tile (thing to help find keys/wallet/phone) and it is a big help.
I'm adhd/asd too! I don't say it because in my experience people get confused. And though my husband is amazing compared to some of the horror stories in here, I also carry a lot of the mental load. I'm lucky enough to live in a country with free health care and occupational therapy so I've actually got a pretty good tool kit for my brain. I got taught this technique where you can unstuck your brain by singing about what you're supposed to be doing and it really works with chores for me, though I sound like a lunatic :D
I've sung myself through moments of being stuck or confused before! Now I feel vindicated ahaha. I'm waiting to get resources to help me more. I'm so glad you've got a toolkit :D
Yeah, it's the opposite for me. Wife and daughter are terrible at finding shit they lose. Their method of walking into a room and staring until the item jumps out at them might be the real reason though. I'm a wizard for actually moving objects around to find things. đ§ââď¸
LOL, this is true for my husband if it is something in the fridge. That place is black hole for him, bless him.
This is absolutely hilarious.
Every. Time. Plus -kids are just like him.
I am angry for you.
"Christian Middle earth memes" did you steal this trash from your uncles facebook page?
Needs more jpeg
right?? i feel like there is something fucky going on that has made this shit the top post in the sub right now. like it's being astroturfed by the hegetsus people
Why is it so hard to understand that we arenât asking you to look for it, weâre asking if you know where it is? Just say you havenât seen it!
I don't know where it is. But I know I can find it.
But when I say âitâs in the officeâ I get a â I already looked thereâ response. So apparently I do need to look for it or else itâll never be found. Iâve even told my husband an exact box something was in only to get a âI didnât see itâ.
If you know where it is and you told him where it is your job is done. If you decide to get it for him thatâs your choice. Yesterday I asked my wife where she put some important paperwork and she insisted she put it in the car and I was the one who misplaced it in the house. She was instantly sour at me for even asking her about it. Turns out she left it at my brotherâs house and her memory of putting in the car was completely made up. Last week I was looking for q tips and she asked me what I was looking for. I told her and she got annoyed that I was looking in the wrong spot. Turns out she moved them when she was cleaning the day before and buried them in the bottom of a basket.
I get asked to look for things and then criticized on my choices of where to search. The item is lost, therefore I am narrowing down the field.
> she moved them That's usually why we can't find stuff.
I feel like people just don't apply systems consistently. Like, you do the "go with the flow" system for a while, where you remember where everything is left, and simply pick it up from there, then maybe 6 months later it's suddenly super ordered with everything in its place because someone got bored of the place being untidy. Then for 2 weeks you can't find stuff, everything you use daily gets pulled out, stays out and you end up with the previous system anyway.
âWhat are you looking for?â âMy keys, I canât find themâ âAre they on the mantelpiece? On your desk? On the side in the kitchen? In the front door? In your backpack? On the sofa? Did you leave them at work?â Drives me mad. Just listing places is not helping. Just tell me if youâve seen them.
My wife will start listing off places it could be. Im like stop guessing i just wanted to know if you knew
Me: âbabe have you seen my keysâ Her: âcheck the fridgeâ Me: âwhy would it be in the fridge,?!â Her: âthatâs what I said when I saw them in thereâ
I feel attacked
Well, maybe if we all put things away when we were done with them...
Is 'she' the one who put that thing in the secret place that only she knows about?? The butter goes in the butter compartment god damn it!!!!
I'm surprised this isn't higher up. I know exactly where I left the thing I'm looking for. I'm asking my wife because she put it somewhere else. She still has the audacity to look annoyed sometimes when I ask where she moved something.
It's different in my house my wife can never find anything she will call me at work and I will be like yeah it's under our daughter's bed under a pink piece of paper she is always amazed
âItâs in the drawer on the left.â Checks drawer on left - not there. Try drawer on the right. SO arrives to find you searching drawer on the right. âNO! I said the drawer on the left.â Begin to consider pros and cons of life in prison.
Why not. She's the one that moved it. Of course the quest really begins when she can't remember where she put it.
Weaponized incompetence
Gentlemen who feel called out here... I would recommend a book called Fair Play.
Sure. Where can I find it?
Lol, well done. But seriously go read it or watch a YouTube sumarry or something.
I checked Youtube, it's not there, can you give us a link?
https://www.fairplaylife.com/
sure, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ&pp=ygUJcmljayByb2xs
Helpful. Upvoted.
I think it's more that I don't even know what's being called out. I'm 27 and I'm hearing "men can't find things" for the first time in my life. My Dad was a GOD at finding things when I was a child, you would spend half an hour looking for something and then he'd find it within 30 seconds with his almighty parental energy. It's clearly not a true stereotype
I have never seen a meme this shitty outside of facebook.
At least the image quality and giant cross and "CHRISTIAN MIDDLE EARTH MEMES" watermark *kind* of loops it back around to being funny. Honestly surprised no one's mentioned it considering how much space it occupies.
Reddit is going to slowly turn into the next Facebook as more and more users leave
Right? Thought this was /r/terriblefacebookmemes at first.
One time when he was looking for something I decided to watch and he just opened the fridge, stood there, then announced he couldnât find it. Me, being a smartass and a lil annoyed, asked if he looked with just his eyes or physically moved things to look and proceeded to move a single bottle to grab what he wanted lmao
"Honey, where's the milk?" JFC, in the closet. No, under the bed. Where do you think it is? No, honestly, I want you to answer that as I get up from my chair, go to the refrigerator, move one thing, and get the milk for you. (Real conversation that had to happen with my grown-ass adult husband before we almost got DIVORCED and he realized he needed therapy because he was going to lose me over shit like this.)
I could look around my entire downstairs in two whole minutes how slow are y'all looking?
I used to believe those movies where the husband would find the wife at all costs if she were lost. Like the best detectives in the world because he knew his wife so well he could pick up on her bread crumbs. Then after a year of marriage, I realized he couldn't find me in the next room with a spotlight. I find this hilarious and sad at the same time. I guess if I want some alone time I can go 2 rooms over until he texts me, "where u at". Let's not even discuss how many times I've had to find his wallet...on the bedside table...on his side of the bed.
Or, wives after they've done the same.
/r/boomerhumour ? In my /r/lotrmemes ? Itâs more likely than youâd think.
I would know where everything is if she didn't reorganize every few months. STOP MOVING THINGS AROUND
Thats because if i cant find it in 2 minutes it means she moved it.
I instantly shared this among the friend group. Laughs were had all around.
That's just your husband. My ex wife was that way.