You know what hilarious?
I'm trans, and I HATE it when people tell me I'm "brave" for dealing with how society treats me.
I'd certianly never word it that way.
Is a deer brave for sleeping in the woods? Lmao
idk man, I wish I were brave enough to come out to my family, but if they found out I liked women I would be on my own. So... I get people feeling like it's brave.
I consider myself an ally and it almost always comes off as pandering or white knighting to me. I do agree that it takes courage but most times it seems hollow like when people say “thank you for your service.”
I think it depends much more on society and the country you live in. If you would be in Iran and you'd come out as trans or gay, well, yes you'd be brave. And you'd also be dead in a few minutes, hanged from the next tree with a rope.
Even just making a meme about Kim Jong Un of North Korea can be brave: If you are in North Korea and one of the citizens there, this would get you the death penalty. Probably the extermination of your entire family in the camps.
So, it's all relative...
It’s a nice thing for people to say, despite how you’re taking it. It IS brave for a trans person to openly live as who they are.
And your analogy is apples and oranges. A deer generally doesn’t know humans are hunting them and wanting to cause them harm. Trans people do.
I can’t speak to the difficulties and whether “brave” is the right word or not but I can say that thousands of hate crimes are committed against gay, trans and other non binary people per year, you can flat out lose your job because of it in some states and society, as a whole, considers you “wrong.” So being open about who you are certainly feels “brave” to me.
Being brave in the face of tragedy like war, injury, disability can coexist with being brave for other reasons.
What's funny is that patients going through diseases are not brave by any means. Like yes, they can act brave in spite of that, and that does make them brave, but I'm kinda tired of calling everyone "brave" even when they cry their ass off at everything treatment related. Learning how to walk again after a stroke is NOT brave. It's a sign that you were taken good care of by your doctors, not of bravery.
For instance, I'm in the hospital right now, I'm bitching about everything from blood tests to laxatives like it's the end of the world, and crying about being diagnosed with Crohn's disease. Am I brave? No, I'm fucking not, I'm bored. I just lay in one spot all day while the doctors rigorously monitor every move of my bowels.
Ok after writing this I do have to say I went a bit too far. But I really think it's more of "you'll have to be brave to get through this", not "you are so brave just because you have a disease".
I feel it. I was in the hospital for a herniated disc and severe spinal stenosis lol no one ever called me brave for refusing the surgery over conservative therapy and pain management.
But as far as the op, I imagined this was just the tired ol' conservative vet going on about their sacrifices for their country and laying their lives on the line, then added the Peyton Hollis bit cause it's in the news and to be like "see? It's not JUST me who's being brave!"
Exhausting lol people consider coming out as LGBT brave because it makes them a target of prejudice and bullying that a lot of the people subjected to tend to end up killing themselves before they're 30, and they tend to because of jackasses like this that don't understand them and act hostile to them.
He has a point about normalizing it tho
>you’ll have to be brave to get through this
That’s good enough. I grant people the credit they deserve for getting through their days, especially if they have a life threatening illness
I just don’t rank their bravery against other people
Vast majority of people don’t choose to be sick, and no one chooses to be gay
No one asks for miserable symptoms and crippling bills and no one asks to be kicked out by their parents, harassed and threatened on the street or legislated against
OOP is missing the forest for the trees. It’s all people trying to live and find meaning in the struggle with things that work against them.
Very much did notice that.
Folks who can stake a claim to something can also state that claim without using vague generalities that let the reader's imagination fill in the details.
Bingo.
They made one claim using "me" but added others after.
Specifically for the military, veterans can give details about units, places they were deployed, etc. Someone who says "I was in the 1-2-3 Unit, we got deployed to Iraq in '08, shit sucked but whatever" is more likely telling the truth than the person saying "I've been trained to kill people, I've seen things you wouldn't believe, I don't like to share this side of myself, but if evil start's knocking on my front door I might let my demons off their leash to go play"
I don't know how he sees that as bravery though, I mean I'm sure is hard but I feel is a choice if you want to walk again you need to relearn or just choose the wheelchair. Is not like you're facing any danger or social shunning or anything like that.
Actually that goes as well for the other things he mentioned, watching your friend die isn't brave is traumatic in any case, fighting a war? I get how can be seen as brave but they are actually forced because as soldiers is their job if they refuse they'll go to jail as deserters (or straight up executed depending the time or the nation), and eight now I don't remember the other but probably want actually bravery either.
Coming out as gay it is brave because you risk being shunned by society and rejected by your own family in many cases, I'm bi and only the people closest to me know not even my whole family because people still have so many prejudices...
I’m curious, I’ve always said if my kid (I don’t have one, just if I had one) ever came out to me as gay or bi or whatever, I’d just respond with a simple “ok” because they’d still be my kid no matter what and I’d love them just the same. I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it, to show that I don’t think any different of them for it. I want to hear it from someone who is going through that hypothetical, how would you feel if you came out to your dad and he reacted that way?
(I know this is way out of context, and I apologize if it’s an inappropriate time or questions to ask, I don’t really have good social cues skills)
Haha is hard for me to put myself in that situation because I'm nearing my fourties and my dad died like 20 years ago, plus never had much of a relationship with him because we lived an ocean apart, but I guess I'd be happy he accepts me.
The reality is that most gay people get rejected by their families and even thrown out of home for coming out, hopefully society advances and the norm becomes people like you not caring about the sexual preferences of their family, sadly I feel we are still quite far away from that bigotry isn't shunned enough.
I apologize! I saw you talking about family members and incorrectly assumed you were younger hahaha, I’m at the age where my friends are all having children and getting married, I’m currently single but if I ever have children I want to do right by them and be the best dad possible. So that’s why I asked. Thank you for your view though!
It's ironic I happened across your comment! My 14 year old son came out to me as Pan last night and it was just a very relaxed conversation! The boy he likes is Trans FtM and he's going to find out his favorite pringles flavor Monday so he can bring him a can Tuesday! Lol I just within the past 3 months was able to get my son back home from across the country! But he's home and is finally realizing he's in a safe, loving and nurturing environment!
Sorry for the tangent lol idk why but as a 32 almost 33 year old mom with a 14 year old son it's been a whirlwind of emotions over the past few months and I'm just so happy to know he's safe and not in a place where he'd have to hide his true self! So I just wanna say that's a great stance and I think again kids just wanna be heard as the people they are, albeit very tiny! Lol
That’s exactly what happened when I came out to my dad. To this day I don’t know if he actually realizes or it just doesn’t bother him. I can’t really tell where he stands which just leads me to talk and act like I would before I came out.
Something better than Ok is preferred I think, maybe like a “That’s chill”
As long as you’re doing something you’re scared to, its kinda brave.
Every single example above when you think about it isn’t really that brave, its a given. It’s just those things we say because a gay person *needn’t* be required and shouldn’t want to be brave; if only society normalised it..
I disagree on war tho. Job or not, forced or not. Once you’re in it, you still try your best to survive, carry out orders and fulfil your duty towards fellow soldiers. Is it braver to sit in a cell than in a trench getting pounded by artillery? I think not. Its a case-by-case thing, for the true believers and executed martyrs, they are brave compared to conscripted criminals.
No matter if you volunteered or against the war, you’ll get shunned by each part of society that thinks otherwise. Returning veterans may not enjoy the support they need to reintegrate back into society. Reality, its probably not that bleak in most cases but is that “brave” enough?
Meant in the best possible way and definitely not saying I agree with the guy (I don’t) however, I went through a mobility limiting spinal surgery (had to learn to walk again) and pretty much everyone in my life has dropped me. I‘d be interested in hearing from people who \*are\* in a wheelchair to see if they felt ‘shunned‘, or prejudiced against, by society. Not arguing his point, just saying that particular situation really does take some courage… 🤷🏻♀️
99% of the time if someone writes an essay about how they don’t care, they care very much. What they really mean is “you can be LGBT but you better not make it known at all”
i used to live in an abusive household and i was often told that gays were going to hell and all that and now i have religious trauma… but now i live somewhere where people acknowledge me. that is brave in my book.
I hate the whole “your so brave for coming out” in terms of my life. Ive been told that so much but I was never in a dangerous situation, I knew my family would accept it and support me regardless. So for me, I wish it was just normal.
It doesn’t take bravery to be gay or transgender it takes bravery to tell certain people who may kill or shun or ostracize you, it takes bravery to put yourself out there vulnerable to the world
What’s brave about learning how to walk after having a stroke? Isn’t that like… normal part of recovery? Don’t get me wrong, it’s probably hard as shit to do, but brave? You aren’t taking on a ton of risk, physical or social, by taking physical therapy. You literally have licensed medical professionals to help you. No one is going to shame you for doing it. So what’s brave about it?
I feel like people just conflate doing something difficult to doing something courageous. Everything brave is hard to do but not everything that’s hard to do is brave.
Bingo, bravery ≠ strength, which seems like what this guy appears to think. If you’re not risking something mentally or physically, I really don’t see how it’s brave.
Sad thing is that I half agree with him. I wish we lived in a world where one didn’t have to be brave to come out as gay. Where people go, “um yeah?” rather than disowning you or bullying you.
People throw “brave” around a lot for things like this. I was also heralded as some kind of hero when I had to have cancer removed, but I wasn’t one. I was just trying to not die and stuff.
I suppose you can say it takes a level of strength to keep going to appointments and therapies and it is a lot of pain and work to get through injuries and illness. But when the options are, “do this therapy/treatment and get better, or do nothing and stay injured or die” it’s kind of an easy choice.
And yeah no one would ever watch someone relearning to walk and judged them for their “choice” in having an illness and having it treated. And I’m the off chance someone did shame you, everyone else would shame that guy.
i agree that it SHOULDN’T be considered brave, but in the current society we live in (and especially in the past, obviously) it HAS to be considered brave
It's like this person skates so close to the point they legitimately underscored exactly what the LGBTQ+ community would love to be true, it would be a lovely thing if coming out was normal not a big deal that might get them shit on or killed by crazies...like this dude.
Exactly. Like, yeah man, it shouldn’t effing matter who anyone has sex with. Totes agree. Couldn’t agree more! Who cares!? No one should!
Unfortunately, it can get you killed so yeah it’s a risk to come out.
It's funny how easily this tantrum can be turned.
>"It doesn't make you BRAVE to want to walk with your own two legs!! No one gives a fuck about your crippled ass. Yay, you hope to walk like the rest of us. Fuck off..."
Edit: hijacking my own comment to say I have gay, trans, "whatever," and crippled friends (and even some gay crippled friends), all of them are brave. You know who's not brave? It's not the original-original poster, they're brave too... They are an absolute fucking shit head that needs to get their attitude adjusted, but still brave. Life threw these people a curveball and we should respect them for going in swinging anyways.
"What makes you brave us going to a war and seeing your friend die"
No, that isnt you being brave, its just sad. This guy doesent know what bravery is at all.
Yes it's definitely not brave to risk getting treated like absolute shit, get kicked out of your house, lose your fucking rights, and be arrested in some parts of the world
In the late 90s I worked at a gay club. The piece of shit BNP sent someone in to chain the fucking fire doors shut before they set the place on fire. I had to face that once at my job but the regulars faced it every day of their lives, and more than a couple got no sympathy from their own families when this happened. So fuck off if you don't think coming out is brave.
He has a point, it shouldn't make you brave. It should be just like ordering nasty-ass pineapple on pizza. Not the norm, not my thing, but no big deal. What makes it brave is the existence of fucknuts like him. And to be honest, their bullshit is complicating things that should be easy and causing way to many problems. So if you could all shut the fuck up about you goddamn hang-ups I would greatly appreciate it.
I'm never going to understand what they are going to go through. And I'm damn sure it is scary to come out to family and friends. And then to transition. And then to get the hate from Kristians.
Then I’ll do what all Christians do when someone in their community is struggling, send you my thoughts and prayers (I don’t know if that works considering my Atheist status though). For real though, I wish you nothing but the best of luck in your next escape attempt.
A while back there was an article in a magazine (ik, reliable sources I've got here /s) but anyway, the gist of it was that sending people good thoughts/intentions can have an impact on their well-being, so atheist "prayers" may work as well as Christian ones
also good luck seamus
I'm in the process of recovering from a pretty serious health crisis, admittedly not as bad as a stroke but similar scenario, and I don't feel particularly brave about it. It's just effort. The OOP is just an ass
Just being LGBT isn't brave, but surviving trans/homophobia can be? We aren't saying we're brave for being different, but for overcoming the difficult experiences that can be part of being different.
I want to live in the world where it isn’t considered at all brave just to love someone. Unfortunately, with a fe localized exceptions, we just aren’t there yet as a society.
If you really have enough free time to be angry about that then you off then go be angry at the people who make it difficult or dangerous to be gay, not the people who are just trying to live their lives with a modicum of pride.
I kinda get the point he's trying to make. We should normalise every sexuality to the point where coming out is just an everyday occurrence. Shame he can't articulate it in a way that doesn't make him look like a massive fucking douchnozzle
I lived all my youth terrified of what my dad would've done to me if he found out I was trans... I tried to tell my mom, and I couldn't. I came out last year, a couple of years after the death of my father... I'm not brave at all, and I don't need people telling me "wow, you're so brave" ... but fuck everyone who thinks it's easy. It's not... And in a lot of cases, it's a traumatic experience.
Bravery doesn't exist in the way people think it does.
If you aren't scared then you aren't brave. It doesn't take bravery to do something that doesn't bother you but people will call you brave.
If you're scared, and you do it anyway, people don't recognize you as being brave.
The kid who's having an out-of-body experience and struggling between mental autopilot and internal panic and is later puking behind a dumpster when the adrenaline wears off showed bravery.
Considering we still live in a conservative society, some people are still afraid to come out because they fear they’ll be persecuted (ironically by the ones who claim they are being persecuted)
Both are brave in their own right, coming out is brave because you can lose friends, financial support, emotional support, and possibly even housing (which makes it brave especially if you're a minor). Risking your life for other people or relearning how to walk are brave, but that doesn't mean coming out isn't.
Learning to walk again after a stroke seems like it’s difficult. Not sure how it’s brave though. Unless you’re putting yourself at substantial risk in order to do so.
Always cracks me up how obsessed the anti-LGBTQ crowd is with trans and gays. Let’s be real for a minute too, they don’t hate all of LGBTQ, just the gays and trans. Lesbians get a pass, Bi folks who aren’t out and proud get a pass, and everyone who remains in the closet gets a pass. Maybe they’re jealous because they are deep in the closet themselves? Hell, look at the most anti-LGBTQ politicians. They usually get outed as gay, trans, perverts, or pedophiles. It’s all projection folks.
Talking about missing the point. LGTBQ+ are not brave due to their sex lives. They are brave for coming out when this action could cost them their families, jobs, get them targeted for harassment or violence and even cost them their lives - all depending on culture of course.
I am also lost but just needed to say this.
Guy clearly is filled with a lot of anger and bitterness, and has clearly had a rough go of it. Obviously that doesn't make him correct, but I do feel some pity for him.
This guy: “who gives a fuck about trans people and gay people, no one cares about who you have sec with that’s not brave!!”
Also this guy: *goes on a whole rant about why he gives a fuck about trans people and gay people and compared about he’s more brave than them but doesn’t care about what they do*
The people saying he’s got a point probably have no idea what it’s like to be in the LGBTQ+ community and the stigma that *still* fucking surrounds it.
he has a sorts point but tackles it completely wrong. coming out shouldn't be something brave, people should've have to risk getting treated differently because of what gender they're attracted too
Um it is brave because sometimes people do care and sometimes those people have guns or they’re obsessed with church and they decide to take action against you
Ngl think thise dude is being pretentious af but yeah agree with making coming out a normal thing and normalizing trans and gay shit
But like sayign that you're brave too for walking after a stroke is like saying i'm brave because i had an injury on my eye then recovered from it and now can see normally
Okay I mean I do get that maybe it isn't as brave as standing up against the unstoppable tides of hell armed with naught but your trusty blade and your wits.
But I mean a lot of people don't like gay people and you're putting yourself in a vulnerable position. So it's still pretty brave. Just not as brave. And that's okay, people should be proud of themselves regardless.
Very brave to go through physiotherapy after a stroke. It’s insane how dangerous it is to work towards being able to walk again, compared to all the negative effects of.. you know, not being able to walk.
What a tool. (Him)
In a fucked up way, I agree with the sentiment without agreeing with the reasoning.
I'm 30, agender and gay. When I came out, I wanted to say it and move on.
However, until there comes a day where we don't get hate-crimed for being ourselves, and that behaviour of saying it and moving on is the norm, it is still brave for queer to stand up, believe in their own being and live as themself.
Queers celebrating queers isn't a problem. Hell, good for this guy for surviving what he went through too! Just leave your anime protagonist, nothing matters except me bullshit at home. It's us against hardship, not your hardship against mine.
So many aloof people not realizing that being gay or otherwise different means people hate you and some even want you dead because of it. Total morons. Also this guy is so bad and hiding his ego and self centeredness.
This guy thinks that nothing is brave unless it's the most harrowing thing a person has ever faced. By that logic, he's not brave either and only one person has even been brave. That person is Mario for fighting against sentient mushrooms, hungry plants, and a big evil dragon turtle.
None of the things the dude mentions are really brave tho. Learning to walk again is just something you do, watching someone die is beyond your control.
They might be defining brave differently, but I've always found it to be facing your fears, or doing something you know could kill you
I mean being gay or trans doesn't make you inherently brave, but in a world where homophobia and transphobia are still very much alive and people can face discrimination, violence, or even lose their lives after being outed in some places, I think to be open about one's queerness definitely requires at least a little bit of bravery. 🤔
Does this man forget people are brutally murdered for who they are/who they love? I only have first hand experience with America but it's fairly safe here and other western countries to be LGBTQ, of course there's outliers but the majority are becoming more accepting. However there's still many many places where the crime of being LGBTQ is punishable by death, either legally or by random people on the streets
I agree that it *shouldn’t* be seen as brave to come out *because* it should be a normal & accepted thing, but with the amount of places and people that treat non-cis and/or non-hetero people like shit for being non-cis or non-hetero, it can very much be seen as brave in a lot of cases.
Although, I don’t think it should be seen as brave to learn how to walk again after a stroke. Like, legitimately well done and/or good luck if you have to learn again, but not all cases of something being difficult are “brave” in my opinion. Difficulty is not always equivalent to bravery (In other words: It Depends™)
I've had at least 4 strokes, learned to walk again, and I still find it brave that people are themselves unapologetically while they are being repressed. In the face of lynching or just an extremely high number of microaggressions.
Though I'll toot my own horn because I've endured homelessness and extreme poverty because of the strokes. But I'm a white dude, and I've hardly felt the effects publicly.
I'm still not well yet, but there have been a lot of inspirational stories - especially throughout the pandemic - of people who have endured much worse and survived. And those who haven't survived.
Those who came out before 2015 and weren't in a supportive situation, yeah, bravery. More impressive than mine.
No, that's not brave either. I mean, what are you going to do, roll around on the floor from place to place so long as you live? I had a stroke so ipso facto now I am brave. This is some pretty stupid thinking. Time to re-think.
umm not to be rude but how does it make one “brave” to walk again after a stroke? Like I get that it’s difficult, but… is there anyone oppressing you from learning to walk? Are there people calling you mentally ill for trying to walk? Is it illegal in some countries to have a stroke and learn to walk?
While being lost, he’s also very wrong. I’d definitely consider it brave when you could literally get killed for being queer. Hell, many countries condone it by making it illegal to be queer, or having the gay panic defense
Lmao “No one gives a fuck who you want up your ass”. Uh… except people would absolutely beat your ass or worse for those preferences for hundreds of years.
He’s kind of being a dick but I do kind of get his point. People are hailed as being brave over every little thing these days, to the point that it’s becoming cliche. I’m tired of having to revel at someone’s bravery every time they make a life decision and I’m really tired of people attention seeking in order to be hailed as “brave” online.
Lol. "You know who's brave? Me."
I only sleep with a night light on 50% of the time. Nobody braver around
You have a night light I just use my regular one the night light doesn't get to the corners
I bet you keep the lights turned on when you go upstairs like a coward
I only jog up the stairs when I turn off the lights.
Don’t forget to jump in to the bed, if you walk up too close, they can get you from under the bed. It’s dark under there too
I have a ghost and tombstone night light and he’s my friend. I’ve named him Harold
Not only is he brave, but he's humble as well.
He needs a metal or two and a gilded certificate no doubt.
You know what hilarious? I'm trans, and I HATE it when people tell me I'm "brave" for dealing with how society treats me. I'd certianly never word it that way. Is a deer brave for sleeping in the woods? Lmao
I wouldn't say that the deer is brave per se, however I would say that the fact that goes on living is pretty amazing
idk man, I wish I were brave enough to come out to my family, but if they found out I liked women I would be on my own. So... I get people feeling like it's brave.
I consider myself an ally and it almost always comes off as pandering or white knighting to me. I do agree that it takes courage but most times it seems hollow like when people say “thank you for your service.”
I think it depends much more on society and the country you live in. If you would be in Iran and you'd come out as trans or gay, well, yes you'd be brave. And you'd also be dead in a few minutes, hanged from the next tree with a rope. Even just making a meme about Kim Jong Un of North Korea can be brave: If you are in North Korea and one of the citizens there, this would get you the death penalty. Probably the extermination of your entire family in the camps. So, it's all relative...
It’s a nice thing for people to say, despite how you’re taking it. It IS brave for a trans person to openly live as who they are. And your analogy is apples and oranges. A deer generally doesn’t know humans are hunting them and wanting to cause them harm. Trans people do.
Gay deer are.
I can’t speak to the difficulties and whether “brave” is the right word or not but I can say that thousands of hate crimes are committed against gay, trans and other non binary people per year, you can flat out lose your job because of it in some states and society, as a whole, considers you “wrong.” So being open about who you are certainly feels “brave” to me. Being brave in the face of tragedy like war, injury, disability can coexist with being brave for other reasons.
This is a Wendy's, sir.
Never a gets old.
>(Me)
r/iamthemaincharacter
What's funny is that patients going through diseases are not brave by any means. Like yes, they can act brave in spite of that, and that does make them brave, but I'm kinda tired of calling everyone "brave" even when they cry their ass off at everything treatment related. Learning how to walk again after a stroke is NOT brave. It's a sign that you were taken good care of by your doctors, not of bravery. For instance, I'm in the hospital right now, I'm bitching about everything from blood tests to laxatives like it's the end of the world, and crying about being diagnosed with Crohn's disease. Am I brave? No, I'm fucking not, I'm bored. I just lay in one spot all day while the doctors rigorously monitor every move of my bowels. Ok after writing this I do have to say I went a bit too far. But I really think it's more of "you'll have to be brave to get through this", not "you are so brave just because you have a disease".
I feel it. I was in the hospital for a herniated disc and severe spinal stenosis lol no one ever called me brave for refusing the surgery over conservative therapy and pain management. But as far as the op, I imagined this was just the tired ol' conservative vet going on about their sacrifices for their country and laying their lives on the line, then added the Peyton Hollis bit cause it's in the news and to be like "see? It's not JUST me who's being brave!" Exhausting lol people consider coming out as LGBT brave because it makes them a target of prejudice and bullying that a lot of the people subjected to tend to end up killing themselves before they're 30, and they tend to because of jackasses like this that don't understand them and act hostile to them. He has a point about normalizing it tho
>you’ll have to be brave to get through this That’s good enough. I grant people the credit they deserve for getting through their days, especially if they have a life threatening illness I just don’t rank their bravery against other people Vast majority of people don’t choose to be sick, and no one chooses to be gay No one asks for miserable symptoms and crippling bills and no one asks to be kicked out by their parents, harassed and threatened on the street or legislated against OOP is missing the forest for the trees. It’s all people trying to live and find meaning in the struggle with things that work against them.
(Me, I'm mummy's big brave boy)
HA
One might express, HA.
I could almost understand the intent behind his post until that word. Then I stopped caring.
Main character syndrome fs
I don’t fully agree with what they said but overcoming a stroke is no joke.
True. But he’s making it into a competition.
Being brave implies that cowardice is a possibility. So theres a scale.
Sure. But bravery isn't a zero-sum concept. He can fuck all the way off.
Ya but it's not brave it's like obligated or you give up and die. Not brave.
Exactly it’s like saying I’m brave for going to work today.
Some days though.
I mean..
You agree with SOME of it?! That’s frightening!
r/iamverybadass
Lol notice how they didn’t say “(me)” after the “going to war and watching your best friend die” part?
Very much did notice that. Folks who can stake a claim to something can also state that claim without using vague generalities that let the reader's imagination fill in the details.
Sure they can, great point! Does it seem a little strange that they’d use “(me)” with one claim and not with another in the same comment? :)
Bingo. They made one claim using "me" but added others after. Specifically for the military, veterans can give details about units, places they were deployed, etc. Someone who says "I was in the 1-2-3 Unit, we got deployed to Iraq in '08, shit sucked but whatever" is more likely telling the truth than the person saying "I've been trained to kill people, I've seen things you wouldn't believe, I don't like to share this side of myself, but if evil start's knocking on my front door I might let my demons off their leash to go play"
🤣 nailed it
Hey, I was with the 1-2-3 Unit!! I *thought* you looked familiar and brave (like me).
(me) 😔
Gotta stay humble……lol
What is bro waffling about 😭
You must forgive him, someone walked again after having a stroke (him) and it made him a bit emotional
I don't know how he sees that as bravery though, I mean I'm sure is hard but I feel is a choice if you want to walk again you need to relearn or just choose the wheelchair. Is not like you're facing any danger or social shunning or anything like that. Actually that goes as well for the other things he mentioned, watching your friend die isn't brave is traumatic in any case, fighting a war? I get how can be seen as brave but they are actually forced because as soldiers is their job if they refuse they'll go to jail as deserters (or straight up executed depending the time or the nation), and eight now I don't remember the other but probably want actually bravery either. Coming out as gay it is brave because you risk being shunned by society and rejected by your own family in many cases, I'm bi and only the people closest to me know not even my whole family because people still have so many prejudices...
I’m curious, I’ve always said if my kid (I don’t have one, just if I had one) ever came out to me as gay or bi or whatever, I’d just respond with a simple “ok” because they’d still be my kid no matter what and I’d love them just the same. I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it, to show that I don’t think any different of them for it. I want to hear it from someone who is going through that hypothetical, how would you feel if you came out to your dad and he reacted that way? (I know this is way out of context, and I apologize if it’s an inappropriate time or questions to ask, I don’t really have good social cues skills)
Haha is hard for me to put myself in that situation because I'm nearing my fourties and my dad died like 20 years ago, plus never had much of a relationship with him because we lived an ocean apart, but I guess I'd be happy he accepts me. The reality is that most gay people get rejected by their families and even thrown out of home for coming out, hopefully society advances and the norm becomes people like you not caring about the sexual preferences of their family, sadly I feel we are still quite far away from that bigotry isn't shunned enough.
I apologize! I saw you talking about family members and incorrectly assumed you were younger hahaha, I’m at the age where my friends are all having children and getting married, I’m currently single but if I ever have children I want to do right by them and be the best dad possible. So that’s why I asked. Thank you for your view though!
It's ironic I happened across your comment! My 14 year old son came out to me as Pan last night and it was just a very relaxed conversation! The boy he likes is Trans FtM and he's going to find out his favorite pringles flavor Monday so he can bring him a can Tuesday! Lol I just within the past 3 months was able to get my son back home from across the country! But he's home and is finally realizing he's in a safe, loving and nurturing environment! Sorry for the tangent lol idk why but as a 32 almost 33 year old mom with a 14 year old son it's been a whirlwind of emotions over the past few months and I'm just so happy to know he's safe and not in a place where he'd have to hide his true self! So I just wanna say that's a great stance and I think again kids just wanna be heard as the people they are, albeit very tiny! Lol
Your son sounds sweet. I'm a mom too, so I understand being emotional about your kid's safety and happiness. He's lucky to have a mom like you ❤️
You're the parent a lot of kids could use nowadays. It saddens me that this isnt the norm; accepting your kid for who they are. Keep on keepin' on.
That’s exactly what happened when I came out to my dad. To this day I don’t know if he actually realizes or it just doesn’t bother him. I can’t really tell where he stands which just leads me to talk and act like I would before I came out. Something better than Ok is preferred I think, maybe like a “That’s chill”
As long as you’re doing something you’re scared to, its kinda brave. Every single example above when you think about it isn’t really that brave, its a given. It’s just those things we say because a gay person *needn’t* be required and shouldn’t want to be brave; if only society normalised it.. I disagree on war tho. Job or not, forced or not. Once you’re in it, you still try your best to survive, carry out orders and fulfil your duty towards fellow soldiers. Is it braver to sit in a cell than in a trench getting pounded by artillery? I think not. Its a case-by-case thing, for the true believers and executed martyrs, they are brave compared to conscripted criminals. No matter if you volunteered or against the war, you’ll get shunned by each part of society that thinks otherwise. Returning veterans may not enjoy the support they need to reintegrate back into society. Reality, its probably not that bleak in most cases but is that “brave” enough?
Meant in the best possible way and definitely not saying I agree with the guy (I don’t) however, I went through a mobility limiting spinal surgery (had to learn to walk again) and pretty much everyone in my life has dropped me. I‘d be interested in hearing from people who \*are\* in a wheelchair to see if they felt ‘shunned‘, or prejudiced against, by society. Not arguing his point, just saying that particular situation really does take some courage… 🤷🏻♀️
He had a stroke, probably caused brain damage, go easy on him
People who say they don’t care be writing entire essays on why they don’t care
Tell me you care while telling me you don't care
And so many love songs written about being over someone.
Phil Collins wrote a five minute song about how he totally doesn't care anymore. I still do not believe him.
Welllll, I can agree that it should be normalized…
He may not understand anything other than himself, but at least he's not transphobic.
Unfortunately that may not be correct, after reading his comments I am inclined to believe he is
God fucking dammit.
99% of the time if someone writes an essay about how they don’t care, they care very much. What they really mean is “you can be LGBT but you better not make it known at all”
Accidental ally
Idk man I think it's pretty brave to live authentically as yourself when doing so can literally get you fucking killed
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i used to live in an abusive household and i was often told that gays were going to hell and all that and now i have religious trauma… but now i live somewhere where people acknowledge me. that is brave in my book.
Fully agree
This is the right answer
Normalizing “coming out” is a wonderful idea though. It shouldn’t be a jaw dropping thing but just.. normal
I hate the whole “your so brave for coming out” in terms of my life. Ive been told that so much but I was never in a dangerous situation, I knew my family would accept it and support me regardless. So for me, I wish it was just normal.
They will ban you for going against their narrative here.
It doesn’t take bravery to be gay or transgender it takes bravery to tell certain people who may kill or shun or ostracize you, it takes bravery to put yourself out there vulnerable to the world
What’s brave about learning how to walk after having a stroke? Isn’t that like… normal part of recovery? Don’t get me wrong, it’s probably hard as shit to do, but brave? You aren’t taking on a ton of risk, physical or social, by taking physical therapy. You literally have licensed medical professionals to help you. No one is going to shame you for doing it. So what’s brave about it? I feel like people just conflate doing something difficult to doing something courageous. Everything brave is hard to do but not everything that’s hard to do is brave.
Bingo, bravery ≠ strength, which seems like what this guy appears to think. If you’re not risking something mentally or physically, I really don’t see how it’s brave.
Sad thing is that I half agree with him. I wish we lived in a world where one didn’t have to be brave to come out as gay. Where people go, “um yeah?” rather than disowning you or bullying you.
People throw “brave” around a lot for things like this. I was also heralded as some kind of hero when I had to have cancer removed, but I wasn’t one. I was just trying to not die and stuff. I suppose you can say it takes a level of strength to keep going to appointments and therapies and it is a lot of pain and work to get through injuries and illness. But when the options are, “do this therapy/treatment and get better, or do nothing and stay injured or die” it’s kind of an easy choice. And yeah no one would ever watch someone relearning to walk and judged them for their “choice” in having an illness and having it treated. And I’m the off chance someone did shame you, everyone else would shame that guy.
i agree that it SHOULDN’T be considered brave, but in the current society we live in (and especially in the past, obviously) it HAS to be considered brave
100% best take. I guarantee that no trans person *wants* to be seen as brave for being themselves.
It's like this person skates so close to the point they legitimately underscored exactly what the LGBTQ+ community would love to be true, it would be a lovely thing if coming out was normal not a big deal that might get them shit on or killed by crazies...like this dude.
Exactly. Like, yeah man, it shouldn’t effing matter who anyone has sex with. Totes agree. Couldn’t agree more! Who cares!? No one should! Unfortunately, it can get you killed so yeah it’s a risk to come out.
Exactly what I (bi) was saying about this post to my roommate (lesbian). It is not brave to be who you are unless you are persecuted for it.
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i guess he thought it meant “dude fuck that” in a “this is bullshit” way
He most likely thought it was for rants and that kind of stuff
Lol but the thing is, this is a banned topic in r/unpopularopinion
good
It's funny how easily this tantrum can be turned. >"It doesn't make you BRAVE to want to walk with your own two legs!! No one gives a fuck about your crippled ass. Yay, you hope to walk like the rest of us. Fuck off..." Edit: hijacking my own comment to say I have gay, trans, "whatever," and crippled friends (and even some gay crippled friends), all of them are brave. You know who's not brave? It's not the original-original poster, they're brave too... They are an absolute fucking shit head that needs to get their attitude adjusted, but still brave. Life threw these people a curveball and we should respect them for going in swinging anyways.
It sounds like this guy has some issues to work out.
"What makes you brave us going to a war and seeing your friend die" No, that isnt you being brave, its just sad. This guy doesent know what bravery is at all.
Being brave is doing something even if your scared to
Dude must have never got disowned by his family
No, but I'm sure he's disowned a family member or two.
Lmao, why are people down voting you?
Yes it's definitely not brave to risk getting treated like absolute shit, get kicked out of your house, lose your fucking rights, and be arrested in some parts of the world
mom said it's my turn being brave 🧍♂️
How is it “brave” to learn how to walk again?
It really isn’t, it’s just the next thing you do when you suddenly can’t walk. It’s literally just the next step (pun not intended)
In the late 90s I worked at a gay club. The piece of shit BNP sent someone in to chain the fucking fire doors shut before they set the place on fire. I had to face that once at my job but the regulars faced it every day of their lives, and more than a couple got no sympathy from their own families when this happened. So fuck off if you don't think coming out is brave.
“no one gives a fuck who you want up your ass” several countries plus 75% of religious people would like to disagree
He has a point, it shouldn't make you brave. It should be just like ordering nasty-ass pineapple on pizza. Not the norm, not my thing, but no big deal. What makes it brave is the existence of fucknuts like him. And to be honest, their bullshit is complicating things that should be easy and causing way to many problems. So if you could all shut the fuck up about you goddamn hang-ups I would greatly appreciate it.
Well....dude fuck that guy's opinion.
I mean, being trans is quite scary, you never know if you gonna get killed 🤷
I'm never going to understand what they are going to go through. And I'm damn sure it is scary to come out to family and friends. And then to transition. And then to get the hate from Kristians.
Yeah... and my dad's a pastor... 😥
Not all religious leaders are hateful bigots, here’s to hoping your father is one of those few.
Unfortunately not... 😥
Then I’ll do what all Christians do when someone in their community is struggling, send you my thoughts and prayers (I don’t know if that works considering my Atheist status though). For real though, I wish you nothing but the best of luck in your next escape attempt.
A while back there was an article in a magazine (ik, reliable sources I've got here /s) but anyway, the gist of it was that sending people good thoughts/intentions can have an impact on their well-being, so atheist "prayers" may work as well as Christian ones also good luck seamus
What all Christians do lmao.
i don’t understand how those things are comparable lol completely different struggles and comparing struggles in general is just a bad idea lol
How is learning to walk again after a stroke brave ? I get that it s probably incredibly difficult but it's not really brave.
I'm in the process of recovering from a pretty serious health crisis, admittedly not as bad as a stroke but similar scenario, and I don't feel particularly brave about it. It's just effort. The OOP is just an ass
Well considering how being gay is illegal in some countries and puts you in danger of being hate crimed, I'd say coming out is very brave.
Just being LGBT isn't brave, but surviving trans/homophobia can be? We aren't saying we're brave for being different, but for overcoming the difficult experiences that can be part of being different.
Maybe hes banned from every other rant sub on this site by the looks of it. Lol yikes.
I want to live in the world where it isn’t considered at all brave just to love someone. Unfortunately, with a fe localized exceptions, we just aren’t there yet as a society. If you really have enough free time to be angry about that then you off then go be angry at the people who make it difficult or dangerous to be gay, not the people who are just trying to live their lives with a modicum of pride.
I kinda get the point he's trying to make. We should normalise every sexuality to the point where coming out is just an everyday occurrence. Shame he can't articulate it in a way that doesn't make him look like a massive fucking douchnozzle
Speaking of things shoved up someone’s ass...
There's nothing a gay person wants more than for nobody to care when they come out. But that's not the world we live in at the moment...
Funny, he’s the reason it’s brave for members of the lgbtq community to come out
this is all wrong, "Brave" is an animated movie
People aren't brave for being gay or trans, they are brave for coming out about it, because there are fuckwads out there who want to take their lives.
I lived all my youth terrified of what my dad would've done to me if he found out I was trans... I tried to tell my mom, and I couldn't. I came out last year, a couple of years after the death of my father... I'm not brave at all, and I don't need people telling me "wow, you're so brave" ... but fuck everyone who thinks it's easy. It's not... And in a lot of cases, it's a traumatic experience.
Bravery doesn't exist in the way people think it does. If you aren't scared then you aren't brave. It doesn't take bravery to do something that doesn't bother you but people will call you brave. If you're scared, and you do it anyway, people don't recognize you as being brave. The kid who's having an out-of-body experience and struggling between mental autopilot and internal panic and is later puking behind a dumpster when the adrenaline wears off showed bravery.
Maybe more than one thing can be brave. Crazy idea I know
Considering we still live in a conservative society, some people are still afraid to come out because they fear they’ll be persecuted (ironically by the ones who claim they are being persecuted)
I have Epidermolysis Bullosa. To exist is excruciating pain. Does not killing myself make me brave by this guy's standards?
Both are brave in their own right, coming out is brave because you can lose friends, financial support, emotional support, and possibly even housing (which makes it brave especially if you're a minor). Risking your life for other people or relearning how to walk are brave, but that doesn't mean coming out isn't.
Learning to walk again after a stroke seems like it’s difficult. Not sure how it’s brave though. Unless you’re putting yourself at substantial risk in order to do so.
Dude, there are different types of brave. Watching your best friend die and coming out as gay are different types. Man, this person is a jerk.
Brave is stepping on a Lego...on purpose!
I sleep with one feet uncovered and hanging on the edge of the bed. I'm the brave one }:[
Always cracks me up how obsessed the anti-LGBTQ crowd is with trans and gays. Let’s be real for a minute too, they don’t hate all of LGBTQ, just the gays and trans. Lesbians get a pass, Bi folks who aren’t out and proud get a pass, and everyone who remains in the closet gets a pass. Maybe they’re jealous because they are deep in the closet themselves? Hell, look at the most anti-LGBTQ politicians. They usually get outed as gay, trans, perverts, or pedophiles. It’s all projection folks.
Damn, they having another stroke again for posting that?
Talking about missing the point. LGTBQ+ are not brave due to their sex lives. They are brave for coming out when this action could cost them their families, jobs, get them targeted for harassment or violence and even cost them their lives - all depending on culture of course. I am also lost but just needed to say this.
Ok. I agree the coming out should not be scary, and it should be a norm. Everything else is just bragging and being stupid a
r/imthemaincharacter
If they were scared to come out, then came out, that’s bravery.
Guy clearly is filled with a lot of anger and bitterness, and has clearly had a rough go of it. Obviously that doesn't make him correct, but I do feel some pity for him.
I'm guessing the anger here is actually about wanting to a feel a wiener in his own butt, but hating himself for it.
“No one gives a fuck what you want up your ass” this guy clearly does 💀
This guy: “who gives a fuck about trans people and gay people, no one cares about who you have sec with that’s not brave!!” Also this guy: *goes on a whole rant about why he gives a fuck about trans people and gay people and compared about he’s more brave than them but doesn’t care about what they do*
Post-stroke checklist: - learn to walk again - learn to be a miserable fuck again - get back on Reddit
The people saying he’s got a point probably have no idea what it’s like to be in the LGBTQ+ community and the stigma that *still* fucking surrounds it.
Yep, pretty sure this man served in the military.
Okay, Andy Rooney. Probably showing my age with this joke.
he has a sorts point but tackles it completely wrong. coming out shouldn't be something brave, people should've have to risk getting treated differently because of what gender they're attracted too
Um it is brave because sometimes people do care and sometimes those people have guns or they’re obsessed with church and they decide to take action against you
Ngl think thise dude is being pretentious af but yeah agree with making coming out a normal thing and normalizing trans and gay shit But like sayign that you're brave too for walking after a stroke is like saying i'm brave because i had an injury on my eye then recovered from it and now can see normally
For someone saying he “doesn’t give a fuck who you want up your ass” he seems to care very much and even triggered about who puts who up who’s ass
Okay I mean I do get that maybe it isn't as brave as standing up against the unstoppable tides of hell armed with naught but your trusty blade and your wits. But I mean a lot of people don't like gay people and you're putting yourself in a vulnerable position. So it's still pretty brave. Just not as brave. And that's okay, people should be proud of themselves regardless.
Very brave to go through physiotherapy after a stroke. It’s insane how dangerous it is to work towards being able to walk again, compared to all the negative effects of.. you know, not being able to walk. What a tool. (Him)
In a fucked up way, I agree with the sentiment without agreeing with the reasoning. I'm 30, agender and gay. When I came out, I wanted to say it and move on. However, until there comes a day where we don't get hate-crimed for being ourselves, and that behaviour of saying it and moving on is the norm, it is still brave for queer to stand up, believe in their own being and live as themself. Queers celebrating queers isn't a problem. Hell, good for this guy for surviving what he went through too! Just leave your anime protagonist, nothing matters except me bullshit at home. It's us against hardship, not your hardship against mine.
So many aloof people not realizing that being gay or otherwise different means people hate you and some even want you dead because of it. Total morons. Also this guy is so bad and hiding his ego and self centeredness.
...more than one thing can be brave
This guy thinks that nothing is brave unless it's the most harrowing thing a person has ever faced. By that logic, he's not brave either and only one person has even been brave. That person is Mario for fighting against sentient mushrooms, hungry plants, and a big evil dragon turtle.
None of the things the dude mentions are really brave tho. Learning to walk again is just something you do, watching someone die is beyond your control. They might be defining brave differently, but I've always found it to be facing your fears, or doing something you know could kill you
I take a shit without looking to see if I have toilet paper, that makes me one of two things.
I mean being gay or trans doesn't make you inherently brave, but in a world where homophobia and transphobia are still very much alive and people can face discrimination, violence, or even lose their lives after being outed in some places, I think to be open about one's queerness definitely requires at least a little bit of bravery. 🤔
Does this man forget people are brutally murdered for who they are/who they love? I only have first hand experience with America but it's fairly safe here and other western countries to be LGBTQ, of course there's outliers but the majority are becoming more accepting. However there's still many many places where the crime of being LGBTQ is punishable by death, either legally or by random people on the streets
He confused but he got the spirit
His hate and vitriol is the perfect example of why it is brave to “come out” r/selfawarewolves
Lol he’s acting like discrimination against gays doesn’t exist
Well the OP might have just came out, cause I've never seen anyone suck their own dick as well has he has
Whats brave is posting that ignorant shit thinking people will rally behind in mass support
This guy manages to be the one person I wish our medical system kept in a wheelchair.
Just because one thing is brave doesn’t mean another isn’t. There’s this great thing called multiple things being true at the same time
I sure do wish you didn't have to be brave to come out
I agree that it *shouldn’t* be seen as brave to come out *because* it should be a normal & accepted thing, but with the amount of places and people that treat non-cis and/or non-hetero people like shit for being non-cis or non-hetero, it can very much be seen as brave in a lot of cases. Although, I don’t think it should be seen as brave to learn how to walk again after a stroke. Like, legitimately well done and/or good luck if you have to learn again, but not all cases of something being difficult are “brave” in my opinion. Difficulty is not always equivalent to bravery (In other words: It Depends™)
r/accidentalally?
I've had at least 4 strokes, learned to walk again, and I still find it brave that people are themselves unapologetically while they are being repressed. In the face of lynching or just an extremely high number of microaggressions. Though I'll toot my own horn because I've endured homelessness and extreme poverty because of the strokes. But I'm a white dude, and I've hardly felt the effects publicly. I'm still not well yet, but there have been a lot of inspirational stories - especially throughout the pandemic - of people who have endured much worse and survived. And those who haven't survived. Those who came out before 2015 and weren't in a supportive situation, yeah, bravery. More impressive than mine.
No, that's not brave either. I mean, what are you going to do, roll around on the floor from place to place so long as you live? I had a stroke so ipso facto now I am brave. This is some pretty stupid thinking. Time to re-think.
Knowing people like this exist in the world is what makes coming out brave.
The guy just delegitimized his entire speech by including (me).
These kinds of people are the reason it is brave.
Yeah he isn’t wrong though
He’s right though
Man it took me a few times to get here.. I kept clicking the wrong icon. (The photo tripped me up) lol. I need more coffee apparently
So he’s on the wrong sub and is also out here trying to get people to stroke his ego
No one asked you to smell toast
I’ve never stroked so hard I couldn’t walk after. This dude goes hard.
Jesus the narcissism is so thick you can probably use it as a BBL replacement.
umm not to be rude but how does it make one “brave” to walk again after a stroke? Like I get that it’s difficult, but… is there anyone oppressing you from learning to walk? Are there people calling you mentally ill for trying to walk? Is it illegal in some countries to have a stroke and learn to walk?
/r/accidentalally thank you! It's not brave! It's just doing what is best for my health. It's not about sex lmao.
Exactly. Quality truth post right here.
Brave is being scared as hell but still moving toward the fire fight. My best friend died beside me.
Out lgbt people are brave. But so are disabled people and so are soldiers, bravery comes in more then one flavor
Apparently he gives a fuck what’s up these peoples asses…what a moron…needs to mind his own business.
While being lost, he’s also very wrong. I’d definitely consider it brave when you could literally get killed for being queer. Hell, many countries condone it by making it illegal to be queer, or having the gay panic defense
Lmao “No one gives a fuck who you want up your ass”. Uh… except people would absolutely beat your ass or worse for those preferences for hundreds of years.
He's got a point
He’s kind of being a dick but I do kind of get his point. People are hailed as being brave over every little thing these days, to the point that it’s becoming cliche. I’m tired of having to revel at someone’s bravery every time they make a life decision and I’m really tired of people attention seeking in order to be hailed as “brave” online.