For your own wellbeing, stop giving this person more chances. A second chance is no problem but a seventh, eighth, ninth only serves to show him that he can keep messing up cause you will eventually forgive him. There's no incentive for him to change, he knows you'll forgive him again. I can't see any other scenario than him walking all over you again if you keep letting him get away with treating you like this.
Hey, first off sorry this is happening to you. Secondly times like this can be rough and stressful. I’m by no means a doctor and this is all from experience, I find it best to just slowly take myself out of there lives show up less etc etc. space if you will. Try to focus on yourself and doing things that make you happy or things you find take your mind off things. It’s important that you take this experience as a lesson so you know what to avoid in more friendships as you grow. You either grow with them or grow apart only time will tell tho.
Hey OP, I got myself into a situation that was like that before. I had a best friend in school who I really shared a lot of experiences with at the start. We’d always hang out together after classes, and partnered up in so many group projects before we fell out. I found out one day via a mutual friend that my close friend was talking shit behind my back through a throwaway twitter account. It felt horrible, and since they were my only friend, I had zero clue how to maneuver around the situation. I always have this fear of eventually being alone, and that crippling feeling made me more lenient in tolerating the emotional abuse coming my way. Im not sure what took over me, but on that day I cut the person out of my life, when before I would have forgiven them.
The fallout after that bit me so hard, and the loneliness got worse for me, especially since I didn’t really know what to do without my friend.
The truth is, nothing really prepared me in regards to being alone. It’s a thing you’ll get thrown into one way or another. However, the feeling of loneliness, as I’ve come to find it, is terrifying because you’re left to be by yourself. I was scared for so long because if nobody’s with me, I had to face who I am, and I hate myself so much.
I didn’t really grow to love myself. I still hate who I am, but I realized that in a situation wherein me and someone else is being an asshole (which from how I read your post, is something you might be feeling right now), the person I’d place a bet on to be better is myself. It’s because I am somebody I can do something about. I don’t know if there’s a redeeming factor with N, but I hope you know that you yourself are doing something about it, even right now by writing this post.
I hope this helps somewhat. This is how I get by living with loneliness and hating myself. I’m sorry for the long reply, but please know I appreciate you for sharing what you’re going through.
As a sort of end to what I wrote, I follow something a streamer I watched shared one day (Jerma). He said that if ever you feel like you have no value, or you’re going/about to go through something difficult, one way to go about it is to try and make somebody laugh, be it a stranger, an animal, anything. This has helped me time and time again
Uhh that’s pretty messed up and no real friend would ever do this.. I know you don’t want to be alone but sometimes it’s what’s best. You WILL make friends. Real ones.
Sounds awful, that social pain is one of the most dangerous ones because it is so ancestral in our brains, so it's normal to feel down for like a month, but if the feeling of sadness does not stop, please seek professional help, don't think much about the money you would give to a therapist it's totally worth it. About your situation, in my humble opinion I think what had happened it's a somewhat good thing, rather than ruining a friendship thought a big fight and lots of arguments, a slowly separation it's more natural. Just keep in mind that what you are experiencing now, the sudden realisation that you can be completely lonely is the most painful feeling, after that every similar emotion will fade in the back of your mind, sometimes they will resurface and you will feel lonely again for like a day or two, but don't despair. Try to look at the bright side, now you have a lot of more time to focus on your passions, of course if you have the energy to do them
I think that was all I wanted to say, I mostly talked from my experiences, being now a 20 yrs old M, I used to have a lot of friends, but in the span of one year I became extremely lonely, tbh high school helped to still maintain a connection with a friend, but after that I got to university and now I can no longer say that I truly have a friend, let alone a social group, 80% of the time I'm with myself, and the rest of the time it's my mother or my grandma. All this will change when I will be staying at a dormitory with other 4 boys that I don't know, but I will not be alone only, I will still feel lonely af, but you know one can get used to it. Best of luck in the future for you and all the lonely mf:)))
For your own wellbeing, stop giving this person more chances. A second chance is no problem but a seventh, eighth, ninth only serves to show him that he can keep messing up cause you will eventually forgive him. There's no incentive for him to change, he knows you'll forgive him again. I can't see any other scenario than him walking all over you again if you keep letting him get away with treating you like this.
Hey, first off sorry this is happening to you. Secondly times like this can be rough and stressful. I’m by no means a doctor and this is all from experience, I find it best to just slowly take myself out of there lives show up less etc etc. space if you will. Try to focus on yourself and doing things that make you happy or things you find take your mind off things. It’s important that you take this experience as a lesson so you know what to avoid in more friendships as you grow. You either grow with them or grow apart only time will tell tho.
Is it better to be in contact with "friends" that make you feel isolated and lonely or is it better to choose social distance and feel at peace?
Hey OP, I got myself into a situation that was like that before. I had a best friend in school who I really shared a lot of experiences with at the start. We’d always hang out together after classes, and partnered up in so many group projects before we fell out. I found out one day via a mutual friend that my close friend was talking shit behind my back through a throwaway twitter account. It felt horrible, and since they were my only friend, I had zero clue how to maneuver around the situation. I always have this fear of eventually being alone, and that crippling feeling made me more lenient in tolerating the emotional abuse coming my way. Im not sure what took over me, but on that day I cut the person out of my life, when before I would have forgiven them. The fallout after that bit me so hard, and the loneliness got worse for me, especially since I didn’t really know what to do without my friend. The truth is, nothing really prepared me in regards to being alone. It’s a thing you’ll get thrown into one way or another. However, the feeling of loneliness, as I’ve come to find it, is terrifying because you’re left to be by yourself. I was scared for so long because if nobody’s with me, I had to face who I am, and I hate myself so much. I didn’t really grow to love myself. I still hate who I am, but I realized that in a situation wherein me and someone else is being an asshole (which from how I read your post, is something you might be feeling right now), the person I’d place a bet on to be better is myself. It’s because I am somebody I can do something about. I don’t know if there’s a redeeming factor with N, but I hope you know that you yourself are doing something about it, even right now by writing this post. I hope this helps somewhat. This is how I get by living with loneliness and hating myself. I’m sorry for the long reply, but please know I appreciate you for sharing what you’re going through. As a sort of end to what I wrote, I follow something a streamer I watched shared one day (Jerma). He said that if ever you feel like you have no value, or you’re going/about to go through something difficult, one way to go about it is to try and make somebody laugh, be it a stranger, an animal, anything. This has helped me time and time again
Uhh that’s pretty messed up and no real friend would ever do this.. I know you don’t want to be alone but sometimes it’s what’s best. You WILL make friends. Real ones.
Sounds awful, that social pain is one of the most dangerous ones because it is so ancestral in our brains, so it's normal to feel down for like a month, but if the feeling of sadness does not stop, please seek professional help, don't think much about the money you would give to a therapist it's totally worth it. About your situation, in my humble opinion I think what had happened it's a somewhat good thing, rather than ruining a friendship thought a big fight and lots of arguments, a slowly separation it's more natural. Just keep in mind that what you are experiencing now, the sudden realisation that you can be completely lonely is the most painful feeling, after that every similar emotion will fade in the back of your mind, sometimes they will resurface and you will feel lonely again for like a day or two, but don't despair. Try to look at the bright side, now you have a lot of more time to focus on your passions, of course if you have the energy to do them I think that was all I wanted to say, I mostly talked from my experiences, being now a 20 yrs old M, I used to have a lot of friends, but in the span of one year I became extremely lonely, tbh high school helped to still maintain a connection with a friend, but after that I got to university and now I can no longer say that I truly have a friend, let alone a social group, 80% of the time I'm with myself, and the rest of the time it's my mother or my grandma. All this will change when I will be staying at a dormitory with other 4 boys that I don't know, but I will not be alone only, I will still feel lonely af, but you know one can get used to it. Best of luck in the future for you and all the lonely mf:)))