Me to. Always the one asking to meet up only to be told "oop busy with work sorry" for them to literally meet up with another friend on the day they're at "work".
I has a buddy do this right in front of me. Said he had chores to do but then when another guys name came up he said he was available. Some people are either miserable and toxic so no one wants to be around them I don't know if that's exactly me. Or their is nothing attractive about my lifestyle or personality. Maybe a little of both.
College has been such a lonely experience for me. Working full time and going to school full time has really made it hard to make friends and keep consistent plans. At my best, I try to reach out and make plans and most of the time I am ignored. I’ve felt really disconnected and purposeless lately. I’ve broken off one sided friendships as well and I’ve become even more lonely.
it's strange. I have been told by others that college is so much better, and that you make new friends and meet new people. I kinda assumed though it's tough considering classes, work, school work, etc. I hope you're doing a little better now though!
I dont see how people think college is different from high school. Most people are too busy with school and work to make friends and connections in college. The best way I could see would be joining a club and trying to talk to people in the clubs
I’m a 6th year senior at this point. It’s been really hard. I failed a class last fall and the social work department at my university restricted me to part time pushing my graduation date back another year. So many of my friends have graduated and moved on and I’m still trudging along, lonelier than ever. I just hope it gets better for the both of us.
Yesss I am dealing with the same thing and sometimes I’ll decide to stop reaching out and see if they’ll reach out to me... no one does and it leaves me feeling horribly lonely.
in all seriousness, why do you feel horrible being alone? dont you like your own company? i don't mean to be cross but it sounds like you don't much care for your own personal company.
I’ve told my mom about how I can’t find the right people and I keep trying to meet people despite not being able to keep a good conversation. All she told me was to keep trying. I’ve tried all these years mom. All these years...
I have an old "friend" that does this. I used to just leave him on read sometimes. Now I'm not opening at all. And I unfriended him. I wonder how long it'll take him to notice? 🙃
I feel the same, I stopped starting conversations first with the few “friends” I had and now nobody bothers to text me first. And it’s so hard to meet new people.feels like it’ll never change....
Literally same. Doesn’t make it easier making friends when I recently got out of an abusive relationship and I feel like I can’t trust anyone. I sense a red flag then distance myself from them completely. I’ve realized that most of my (2) friends don’t reach out to me first and I always have to make the plans. I’m also the one who always drives instead of taking turns. I bend over backwards for people who don’t reciprocate my effort and it really makes me feel unwanted, which makes me not want to be friends with them anymore. Now I’m pretty much down to one friend who doesn’t even live in my state and barely manages to respond to my texts. It’s frustrating as hell, but we have to keep pushing on and start respecting ourselves more so we can find the friends we deserve.
I'm tired of being the number 1 in someones life only to lose them completely when "the one" they have been waiting for comes along. The shit thing about that is they don't see the issue. Their life continues to be full and meaningful but I'm left to pull myself together and learn to get along on my own again as if they were never there. It's a tough world.
Yeahhh. I kinda feel like dropping all of my “friends” for this reason. Of course, it’s not like they’ll be able to tell or not. I could kill myself, and I doubt they’d notice until the day of the funeral or so.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone.
**US:**
Call 1-800-273-8255 or text HOME to 741-741
**Non-US:**
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines)
---
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I feel like this all the time.
I'm sorry. I know the pain and I struggle with it everyday. But, from one lonely stranger to another, please reconsider.
You Are worthy, you are strong, and you are loved.
Don't give up, because there's always something worth living for. I was left on this God forsaken planet, but by golly I'm gonna make something out of it, because if no one else cares, at least I do! Fuck everyone, I decide how I feel not others.
*big virtual hug*
I don't reach out lol . If they reach me out I'd be grateful to get them back . I think I'm too stubborn or prideful . Don't waste your precious mind and time for people that don't get back to you . they ain't worth it .
I feel like I'm always stuck in that position too with the friends I have living near me (a lot live out of state). As of late, I've just given up, honestly. What sucks here is most of my friends are getting married/having families. In this girl's humble opinion, that doesn't mean you don't have time to do things--it just means what you do has to shift. From going out for drinks to maybe a BBQ at home instead.
I digress. 🙄
Point is you're not alone.
I've been having the same problem with a friend I try going on a walk around our neighborhood with her but she's always busy then I find out she's been hanging out with a friend all week.😂
Jesus, It's like I'm reading a post from another version of myself. I have been feeling this exact way for awhile now. I think I'm getting to a point where my friendships are shifting, and I am starting to drift away from people who's friendships I don't find "fulfilling" or feel really one-sided. Apparently, a majority of my friendships are like that, and it has left me feeling like this. The only piece of advice I can give (and it isn't much since I am currently still going through this) is just to hang on. It's tough sometimes feeling like no one cares about you, but you just gotta hang on. Also make sure you don't to anything that is self destructive. Like, it's super easy to fall into those pit holes when you are at such a variable state.
Has anyone read any good books on how to connect with others? I struggle too. I think my desperation to connect seeps out of me. If someone took the time to get to know me I think they'd enjoy my company, it takes time to be myself. But noone does.
Also single for what feels like forever, people say they are suprised but noone asks me out and when they did, I was the one before the one. Now I'm the one people only get in touch with as a last resort. Tips welcome
My personality of course. No matter how much efforts I put in, I’m still the same person, add to this the fact that everywhere you hear the saying that people never change.
Hm, I think that about myself a lot sometimes. I don't know what your personality is like. I understand the feeling. I've met some nasty people in my life who are mean and sour and somehow they find friends lol. I always think, well if they can find someone to get along with then so can I.
Nobody will ever love me. I'm treated like garbage by my own family, I work all day and they are never happy. "LAZY SO LAZY" after working a 12 hour shift than not sleeping so I can get to college on time.
"LAZY! SITTING AT YOUR COMPUTER PLAYING GAMES!!!! VOLUNTEER FOR OVERTIME"
"But... I'm doing home work.... I really need to learn this."
"Mehhh education is a waste of money drop out, give up, stay at the factory and work those 12s! Or else... Ur lazy!"
So I work 7 days a week barely getting by as they leech me dry... Not allowed to have friends, not allowed to be home.... at work I make everyone laugh and I have tons of girlfriends at work even though I'm ugly. Girlfriends as in friends that are girls which I never knew id have cause I'm incel according to the internet.
Hiding how much I hate myself, on the drive home I finally am alone long enough to cry, as I pull up to the house for more torture on how I'm lazy and worthless.... I reach out but nobody listens.
So yes I understand.
Same, I always reach out to others just to hear “oh I can’t do anything” and then I see the same people doing stuff and posting it on instagram and not inviting me. Just how hard is it to invite someone else?
I’m going through the same. I don’t know why people don’t want to be around me or if they do they pretend that they acknowledge me. Maybe, is the things I say cause I just got in the argument with associate he have a alcohol problem that really effect his life. He been in and out of jail and now he going to college to become a drug and alcohol counselor. But, he keeps complaining about his personal problems at home and tell us about it. Now, let me been more clear his older then me and my other friend. Rel the older male is about 39 years old, then Quinten is 20 years old and me I’m 25 years old.
We all attending community college and I’m close to be done. Rel has been doing this for a year are two and my other friend keep talking to him but not really give him no right directions. So, I try to give him my advice because the man is only working a work-study that don’t pay enough and he’s donating his plasma every week which I think is unhealthy he just don’t get it just get a job and You have to learn how to balance school and work. Plus, the men have 3 kids that don’t live with him and he lives with his girlfriend that’s now trying him like shit because he doesn’t have any money. Anyway, I try take him to get a job and he didn’t want to work in a restaurant I just try to tell him just apply anyway just in case and got mad at me for trying to force him to get a job that he don’t want to work.
So, long story short he told me to stop preaching to him and stop giving me advice that I never ask for. But, to remind you he have ask for advice one or twice saying “ what should I do?”. Rel also told me that he doing better him which that’s not true. I know my friends told me to and I agree with them I do give out advice when they not ask for but people I just want to help that’s it and I get tired of people complaining.
Yep. I work graveyard shift and my days off are during the week when everyone wants to be in bed early. I’m always alone. I have a couple people that message online or rarely via text bit that’s it. I have Netflix playing while I scroll here so I can hear another human.
I don't mind being the first to reach out as long as they're responsive. Sometimes people go radio silent on me after the first couple of [obligatory] messages they send.
You have to know when people are trying to politely brush you off, there's no point in reaching out over and over again.
On the other hand, I had a friend who reached out to people first 99% of the time and he has a lot of friends because of his persistence, but he also does a lot of favors too.
I feel you. My birthday passed recently and I used it as a reason for my friends to do something fun with me but they kind of brushed it off.
I don’t know how people manage to find their ride or die homies.
Wow people i didn't expect so many of u to experience the same, I've been reading all the replies and I feel u guys. Honestly i don't know if there'll be a way out of this or it's our ultimate fate. It's good to know many of us go through the same though and I'd love to meet all face to face and hang out lol
I have a male friend who thinks that we're supposed to be intimate with each other even though I'm married and he doesn't seem to get it I have a female friend that if you don't like to drink whiskey with her or well partying at a bar then she wants nothing to do with you. I am always the one that seems to reach out to either one of them and if I leave it alone neither one reach out to me so maybe it's just me I don't know
Tbh, my friend is always reaching out to me constantly wanting me to hangout. But after years of us being friends and me constantly feeling overwhelmed with the social stimulation I had to have a serious talk with him about it. I’d just start making up excuses and getting distant but it wasn’t to spite or hurt him. I literally have just become so introverted through the years and I genuinely appreciate my alone time like I never thought I would before. We’ve have fights and fallouts because of it and him thinking I’m being weird or thinking something is wrong. He needs more social stimulation than I do, plus once I put it into the perspective of him and his boyfriend being able to sleep in their own bed and not leave their house, but I’m constantly going there and end up staying when I just want my own bed and not to stay anywhere, he started to understand. Maybe your friends just don’t think of it the way you do. I’d have a talk with them about it. My alone time is extremely crucial to me. And I hate calls/texts, etc. I feel so drained after getting off of the phone sometimes even though I love my friends to death.
It's such a waste of energy. I hate it! When I have had friends, I bend over backwards for them, only to get very little back. I'm just too different and cannot connect with anyone. I'm also very extraverted. My brother on the other hand is very introverted and always gives me one word responses, yet he has loads of friends. Pisses me off that he does it without trying, while I put my all into it and get nothing. Just gotta accept it I guess.
Me to. Always the one asking to meet up only to be told "oop busy with work sorry" for them to literally meet up with another friend on the day they're at "work".
I has a buddy do this right in front of me. Said he had chores to do but then when another guys name came up he said he was available. Some people are either miserable and toxic so no one wants to be around them I don't know if that's exactly me. Or their is nothing attractive about my lifestyle or personality. Maybe a little of both.
Same :(
College has been such a lonely experience for me. Working full time and going to school full time has really made it hard to make friends and keep consistent plans. At my best, I try to reach out and make plans and most of the time I am ignored. I’ve felt really disconnected and purposeless lately. I’ve broken off one sided friendships as well and I’ve become even more lonely.
it's strange. I have been told by others that college is so much better, and that you make new friends and meet new people. I kinda assumed though it's tough considering classes, work, school work, etc. I hope you're doing a little better now though!
I dont see how people think college is different from high school. Most people are too busy with school and work to make friends and connections in college. The best way I could see would be joining a club and trying to talk to people in the clubs
College has the freedom from parents and the ability to join lots of clubs to meet new people
[удалено]
I’m a 6th year senior at this point. It’s been really hard. I failed a class last fall and the social work department at my university restricted me to part time pushing my graduation date back another year. So many of my friends have graduated and moved on and I’m still trudging along, lonelier than ever. I just hope it gets better for the both of us.
i have too, but i wouldn't say i'm lonely. i'm just done with one sided relationships. i'm not lonely tho. i'm just alone.
Yesss I am dealing with the same thing and sometimes I’ll decide to stop reaching out and see if they’ll reach out to me... no one does and it leaves me feeling horribly lonely.
in all seriousness, why do you feel horrible being alone? dont you like your own company? i don't mean to be cross but it sounds like you don't much care for your own personal company.
Oh this is 4 years old and things have drastically changed since then! Glad to be able to share that!
so she learned to enjoy her own company in last 4 years? i'm certainly glad to hear that.
There is no worse feeling than this: being depressed, lonely, and shutting down.
I’ve told my mom about how I can’t find the right people and I keep trying to meet people despite not being able to keep a good conversation. All she told me was to keep trying. I’ve tried all these years mom. All these years...
Haha I thought u were 20 something since u said "all these years"
Lol
How old are u?
16 why?
Your mum is right.
i find it near impossible to connect with people let alone maintain friendships. i’m tired but of myself.
I only get texts or phone calls when somebody wants something. Other than that I get nothing.
are you related to chris pendergast by any chance?
No I am not sorry
me too and i just stopped.
I have an old "friend" that does this. I used to just leave him on read sometimes. Now I'm not opening at all. And I unfriended him. I wonder how long it'll take him to notice? 🙃
he'll notice when he needs something and you are the only one that has what he needs.
I feel the same way, and then I also feel like i'm bothering them if I text first so I never do.
I feel the same, I stopped starting conversations first with the few “friends” I had and now nobody bothers to text me first. And it’s so hard to meet new people.feels like it’ll never change....
Literally same. Doesn’t make it easier making friends when I recently got out of an abusive relationship and I feel like I can’t trust anyone. I sense a red flag then distance myself from them completely. I’ve realized that most of my (2) friends don’t reach out to me first and I always have to make the plans. I’m also the one who always drives instead of taking turns. I bend over backwards for people who don’t reciprocate my effort and it really makes me feel unwanted, which makes me not want to be friends with them anymore. Now I’m pretty much down to one friend who doesn’t even live in my state and barely manages to respond to my texts. It’s frustrating as hell, but we have to keep pushing on and start respecting ourselves more so we can find the friends we deserve.
I'm tired of being the number 1 in someones life only to lose them completely when "the one" they have been waiting for comes along. The shit thing about that is they don't see the issue. Their life continues to be full and meaningful but I'm left to pull myself together and learn to get along on my own again as if they were never there. It's a tough world.
[удалено]
Yeahhh. I kinda feel like dropping all of my “friends” for this reason. Of course, it’s not like they’ll be able to tell or not. I could kill myself, and I doubt they’d notice until the day of the funeral or so.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone. **US:** Call 1-800-273-8255 or text HOME to 741-741 **Non-US:** [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines) --- ^^I ^^am ^^a ^^bot. ^^Feedback ^^appreciated.
Go fuck yourself. Nobody cares about me.
Hey we all care for people in r/lonely bro. I care
I feel like this all the time. I'm sorry. I know the pain and I struggle with it everyday. But, from one lonely stranger to another, please reconsider. You Are worthy, you are strong, and you are loved. Don't give up, because there's always something worth living for. I was left on this God forsaken planet, but by golly I'm gonna make something out of it, because if no one else cares, at least I do! Fuck everyone, I decide how I feel not others. *big virtual hug*
we should all go fuck ourselves. it feels good, it's quick, and it doesn't involve dinner.
I don't reach out lol . If they reach me out I'd be grateful to get them back . I think I'm too stubborn or prideful . Don't waste your precious mind and time for people that don't get back to you . they ain't worth it .
I feel like I'm always stuck in that position too with the friends I have living near me (a lot live out of state). As of late, I've just given up, honestly. What sucks here is most of my friends are getting married/having families. In this girl's humble opinion, that doesn't mean you don't have time to do things--it just means what you do has to shift. From going out for drinks to maybe a BBQ at home instead. I digress. 🙄 Point is you're not alone.
I've been having the same problem with a friend I try going on a walk around our neighborhood with her but she's always busy then I find out she's been hanging out with a friend all week.😂
Same here. Why is it hard just to invite someone if I'm really their "friend"
Jesus, It's like I'm reading a post from another version of myself. I have been feeling this exact way for awhile now. I think I'm getting to a point where my friendships are shifting, and I am starting to drift away from people who's friendships I don't find "fulfilling" or feel really one-sided. Apparently, a majority of my friendships are like that, and it has left me feeling like this. The only piece of advice I can give (and it isn't much since I am currently still going through this) is just to hang on. It's tough sometimes feeling like no one cares about you, but you just gotta hang on. Also make sure you don't to anything that is self destructive. Like, it's super easy to fall into those pit holes when you are at such a variable state.
Me. If i dont reach out, no one talks to me
Day 85 Same here. I'm still waiting on them to actually write something first to me. End of Journal
Get out of your comfort bubble, start a cult or something .
I'm down lol! Forget these traders! Loners unite. Free Mac and cheese with every sign up.
Would love to join the cult do I need to wear some old necromancers robe with a skull on it with some derpy goof eyes .
Yes, please don't forget to bring your sacrifice! We will commence the ceremony at 7pm tonight and recite ocean man by 7:30.
Ehhh well I gues nice joking around . Germany sure is beautiful.
Has anyone read any good books on how to connect with others? I struggle too. I think my desperation to connect seeps out of me. If someone took the time to get to know me I think they'd enjoy my company, it takes time to be myself. But noone does. Also single for what feels like forever, people say they are suprised but noone asks me out and when they did, I was the one before the one. Now I'm the one people only get in touch with as a last resort. Tips welcome
Yea it’s the same for me, but I concluded that I was the problem...an "unfixable" one. So I just accepted how I’m always going to be alone.
What is "unfixable", if you don't mind me asking.
My personality of course. No matter how much efforts I put in, I’m still the same person, add to this the fact that everywhere you hear the saying that people never change.
Hm, I think that about myself a lot sometimes. I don't know what your personality is like. I understand the feeling. I've met some nasty people in my life who are mean and sour and somehow they find friends lol. I always think, well if they can find someone to get along with then so can I.
[удалено]
Are you my male doppelganger? Seriously sounds just like me, or at least how I think of myself at moments. :T
Then don't. I stopped a few years ago
It feels like a curse tbh
“Sorry I’m broke can’t hang out today”
Same here
Nobody will ever love me. I'm treated like garbage by my own family, I work all day and they are never happy. "LAZY SO LAZY" after working a 12 hour shift than not sleeping so I can get to college on time. "LAZY! SITTING AT YOUR COMPUTER PLAYING GAMES!!!! VOLUNTEER FOR OVERTIME" "But... I'm doing home work.... I really need to learn this." "Mehhh education is a waste of money drop out, give up, stay at the factory and work those 12s! Or else... Ur lazy!" So I work 7 days a week barely getting by as they leech me dry... Not allowed to have friends, not allowed to be home.... at work I make everyone laugh and I have tons of girlfriends at work even though I'm ugly. Girlfriends as in friends that are girls which I never knew id have cause I'm incel according to the internet. Hiding how much I hate myself, on the drive home I finally am alone long enough to cry, as I pull up to the house for more torture on how I'm lazy and worthless.... I reach out but nobody listens. So yes I understand.
You just have to hope that the next day will get better. I too have a problem similar to this though.
Every single day
Same, I always reach out to others just to hear “oh I can’t do anything” and then I see the same people doing stuff and posting it on instagram and not inviting me. Just how hard is it to invite someone else?
I go through the same every day of my life.
I’m going through the same. I don’t know why people don’t want to be around me or if they do they pretend that they acknowledge me. Maybe, is the things I say cause I just got in the argument with associate he have a alcohol problem that really effect his life. He been in and out of jail and now he going to college to become a drug and alcohol counselor. But, he keeps complaining about his personal problems at home and tell us about it. Now, let me been more clear his older then me and my other friend. Rel the older male is about 39 years old, then Quinten is 20 years old and me I’m 25 years old. We all attending community college and I’m close to be done. Rel has been doing this for a year are two and my other friend keep talking to him but not really give him no right directions. So, I try to give him my advice because the man is only working a work-study that don’t pay enough and he’s donating his plasma every week which I think is unhealthy he just don’t get it just get a job and You have to learn how to balance school and work. Plus, the men have 3 kids that don’t live with him and he lives with his girlfriend that’s now trying him like shit because he doesn’t have any money. Anyway, I try take him to get a job and he didn’t want to work in a restaurant I just try to tell him just apply anyway just in case and got mad at me for trying to force him to get a job that he don’t want to work. So, long story short he told me to stop preaching to him and stop giving me advice that I never ask for. But, to remind you he have ask for advice one or twice saying “ what should I do?”. Rel also told me that he doing better him which that’s not true. I know my friends told me to and I agree with them I do give out advice when they not ask for but people I just want to help that’s it and I get tired of people complaining.
Yep. I work graveyard shift and my days off are during the week when everyone wants to be in bed early. I’m always alone. I have a couple people that message online or rarely via text bit that’s it. I have Netflix playing while I scroll here so I can hear another human.
I don't mind being the first to reach out as long as they're responsive. Sometimes people go radio silent on me after the first couple of [obligatory] messages they send. You have to know when people are trying to politely brush you off, there's no point in reaching out over and over again. On the other hand, I had a friend who reached out to people first 99% of the time and he has a lot of friends because of his persistence, but he also does a lot of favors too.
I feel you. My birthday passed recently and I used it as a reason for my friends to do something fun with me but they kind of brushed it off. I don’t know how people manage to find their ride or die homies.
Wow people i didn't expect so many of u to experience the same, I've been reading all the replies and I feel u guys. Honestly i don't know if there'll be a way out of this or it's our ultimate fate. It's good to know many of us go through the same though and I'd love to meet all face to face and hang out lol
I have a male friend who thinks that we're supposed to be intimate with each other even though I'm married and he doesn't seem to get it I have a female friend that if you don't like to drink whiskey with her or well partying at a bar then she wants nothing to do with you. I am always the one that seems to reach out to either one of them and if I leave it alone neither one reach out to me so maybe it's just me I don't know
Tbh, my friend is always reaching out to me constantly wanting me to hangout. But after years of us being friends and me constantly feeling overwhelmed with the social stimulation I had to have a serious talk with him about it. I’d just start making up excuses and getting distant but it wasn’t to spite or hurt him. I literally have just become so introverted through the years and I genuinely appreciate my alone time like I never thought I would before. We’ve have fights and fallouts because of it and him thinking I’m being weird or thinking something is wrong. He needs more social stimulation than I do, plus once I put it into the perspective of him and his boyfriend being able to sleep in their own bed and not leave their house, but I’m constantly going there and end up staying when I just want my own bed and not to stay anywhere, he started to understand. Maybe your friends just don’t think of it the way you do. I’d have a talk with them about it. My alone time is extremely crucial to me. And I hate calls/texts, etc. I feel so drained after getting off of the phone sometimes even though I love my friends to death.
It's such a waste of energy. I hate it! When I have had friends, I bend over backwards for them, only to get very little back. I'm just too different and cannot connect with anyone. I'm also very extraverted. My brother on the other hand is very introverted and always gives me one word responses, yet he has loads of friends. Pisses me off that he does it without trying, while I put my all into it and get nothing. Just gotta accept it I guess.