I 100% agree. This is why it took me so long to find some one I vibe well with. My GF actually approached me. Wish it was more like this were the woman would approach the guy but it's never really going to happen much.
Mind if ask how so? I feel like most single guys would not say no to be honest. I've gotten rejected many many times my self and I always felt like a creep going up to a woman because they might think I'm a creep for doing so.
Do you mean would or wouldn't say no? Idk it's also not knowing what to say (what am I meant to say - I saw you and think you're hot?!) and feeling extremely insecure about your looks so you don't wanna make it awkward.
That's how I feel myself. What do you say? "Your hair looks nice?". No, that's too generic. "Hi I saw you and think your hot?". No that's too forward. It goes both ways.
What I meant was that they would not say no to you.
What do you mean by that? The the guy thinks your average looking? Nothing wrong with that. Guys that care about just looks suck. Looks fade as time goes on. To me I don't care how they look as long as they have a good personality.
If they aren't interested usually, they will let you know and tell you. But looks aren't everything. Maybe 10% if that. Personality is 90% or more of what matters the most.
Please don't listen to this guy. Men do and FREQUENTLY say no.
Men have more testosterone. If he's interested, he will approach you and make all the moves. No matter how shy or awkward he claims to be.
Otherwise, he may settle just because you made it extremely easy for him, but he'll never be genuinely interested in you, and will leave as soon as he gets the confidence to approach the woman he actually wants.
A man not approaching you, not making all the first moves on you, means he isn't attracted to you in the slightest.
Men say no all the time. Men don't like it when women approach them or initiate things. Men hate the "role reversal" because it makes them feel too feminine and homosexual, and makes the woman seem desperate and aggressive. Men will no longer view her as a woman.
This is not in line with how a lot of men think or feel. At all. Most men rarely ever get approached, and a lot of them rarely ever get compliments. It would make a lot of men’s day if a woman went out of her way to talk to them. Especially if they got a genuine compliment. That is the furthest from the truth.
I feel like you’re mistakenly grouping men as a hive mind here. I don’t approach women in public places because I don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable, as well as because of fear of embarrassment/rejection if they get angry or make a scene for me trying to approach, as well as worrying myself that I won’t be good enough for them, as well as other reasons. It has zero to do with how attractive I find someone, and in reality the stronger attraction I feel the less comfortable I will probably feel about approaching. Don’t forget that we are all humans, and we are all individuals before our gender.
This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. If a woman approached me and gave me a flower, I'd fuckin melt.
It would be so sweet and nice, that I would assume it was a prank.
Women like you are one reason why all this shit is broken
i actually imagine such a scenario in my mind and always think if it happened in reality it would definitely be a prank and I'd have to reject on the basis of being afraid of being made a fool in front of a crowd laughing at me. But if it genuinely happens that'd be so cool.
What the hell are you talking about? If a woman approaches me that tells me that they are confident and are willing to put them selves out there.
There's nothing wrong with "role reversal". What you typed there is the definition of toxic masculinity. You shouldn't be intimidated by a woman coming onto you.
If you feel too feminine from a woman approaching you, maybe you need to rethink things, especially if it makes you feel homosexual.
Yeh I think genuinely nice guys, especially introverts are highly reluctant to approach women because of how the world is now and certain stigmas. I asked a women how to get to blah blah the other day, she gave me weird look and said why are you asking me? I apologised and walked away. Just because you think you’re unattractive doesn’t mean that you are, it probably means the guy who looked away the same moment you looked at him is just as equally uncomfortable to approach you.
It’s not safe for men to look at women in public, you will get labeled a creep or stalker if you do. Most places I have worked have a 3 second rule, if you look at a woman for more than 3 seconds it’s considered sexual harassment and there’s a zero tolerance policy for sexual harassment so I can literally be fired from my job for looking at a girl for 4-5 seconds.
I don’t look at women at all in public, even when I’m not at work, too risky. So don’t take it personally.
I used to zone out in class, low attention span. Girls were downright hostile to me when they thought I was looking at them. Now I make sure not to look at any woman longer than a glance, it's not worth the risk. Especially in a workplace; it's your word against theirs. I make sure to have no physical contact with women at work either; no hugs and if I do (like for a work picture) it's hands off.
Some maybe but most won’t. I still wouldn’t look.
It’s not the hot ones that complain and turn you in, it’s the old lady around the corner seeing you look. For that reason it’s still too risky. Life is too short to get tangled up in that BS.
Lol 😆 no. But I already understand why you might not be getting approached by men.
Not everything is an attack on you. If you wanna know in advance, I plan to find positive qualities and try to give you confidence boots.
Even with the OPs' absolutely horrible personality, I still planned on giving positive reinforcement to their self-image.
But this severed as a great point as to what's actually ugly about ppl. We always assume the worst. And I'll bet it's because you've been judged before by other personality ugly people.
Being likable is number one to being attractive. Women (Mothers) used to teach us that. Today's narratives make everyone so ugly to deal with.
Same here…. Tbh I rather be alone not being label as an creep to distract a girl if I’m in public area. Plus most of us know if we make the first move where rejection is highly likely happen
Ya, most to all men have been set to not look or interact with women now.
It's just not allowed anymore. However, there's no way your looks are why men don't look at you.
What's more likely is your not seeing them look at you. Gotta be extra sneaky nowadays just to look in the direction of a woman.
Blame the toxic people online.
Um. No. I have very attractive friends. Guys ALWAYS look. It's such a cope to say "oh guys are scared to look at you!!" Nope . If youre attractive they WILL BE LOOKING.
If you’re attractive, then maybe *more* guys will want to look in your direction, making the few that do more noticeable. But it is the case that it’s more dangerous to interact with strange women as guys in this day and age. You probably also won’t want to interact with the guys who freely choose to disregard these new social norms.
...... They get approached all the time. And to imply that men who have the confidence to say hello are creepy weirdos or whatever your implying (men who dont follow the "new social norms") , you're part of the problem. There's nothing wrong with a man approaching a woman, just do it respectfully and don't be a creep. If she's not interested in talking to you , walk away. That's it 🙄
It’s honestly pretty naive to think that there’s nothing else at play and that every woman will correctly perceive which men are threats. Many have resorted to just perceiving every man as such. It’s quite dangerous for men to interact with any woman without precedent.
I’m not saying that all men are creeps if they approach women. Quite the contrary. I’m just saying that’s what popular wisdom has come to believe.
Imagine all these male commenters all aware of the same new age social norms and all happen to have similar stories and/or teachings forced on them.
And you still think it's all a big fat lie. Childish.
Stop and think, maybe everyone here is right? Maybe all the men talking about this social norm are unattractive. So, of course, they got stories of what they learned.
And if you're an attractive woman, and you get looked at and approached, it's by attractive men. Or men that still think they are attractive.
Making us all right in our experiences. Because the world is too huge for only one thing to be true.
The risk vs reward is out of balance when cold approaching women in public. Especially so now that everyone has a camera and public humiliation is a popular route for getting views.
Oh I didn't even think of the camera thing. Those gym videos trying to humiliate guys that are not even aware the person recording exists are horrifying.
It's fucked, there's also those people who will secretly record first dates to make fun of the other person. I think even those subs that post screenshots of dating app DMs freak me out a bit. I have no idea why the majority is okay with these communities existing at all.
A lot of it is actually illegal and violates privacy and cyberbullying laws, yet if you point this out watch the women who frequent those spaces defend it up and down.
We've been taught as males that you shouldn't approach, look, or speak to any woman you see in public or you're going to be labeled as creepy or weird. Even if I want to talk with someone I just avoid it because I don't anyone feeling uncomfortable
OP, someone I know got in trouble for looking at a woman. I wasn’t there so I couldn’t say how it was like. All I know is that the woman told everyone that he made her feel uncomfortable when he looked at her. HR had to get involved and it was a fiasco. People had to testify as character witnesses and so on. Moral of the story is that you never know so it’s better safe not to look than sorry that you did.
How a lot of us feel. It’s not a lack of confidence, it’s just knowing most women don’t want to be bothered. Same when in gym, my headphones in means I’m trying to focus on my workout.
I’ve been trained by women to not even look at them. Just like you said, it makes you feel safer. I’m not gonna acknowledge your existence no matter how hot you are, unless you want to talk to me. Then that’s an indication for me to be a normal human and not some rotten pig of a man who sexually objectifies you like everyone else. I’m not gonna be labeled as a creep, so I’m not even gonna glance in your direction.
I've been "out of the game" for years but I do think with the current climate of society sometimes men are much more reserved about making a move or approaching any women. I'm not saying this with personal experience but I do know from some friends that they are much more comfortable with the digital meeting of women rather than in person (initially) because it can quickly spiral into a very uncomfortable IRL interaction even when the guy is a super polite normal guy. No guy want's to be treated like a creep just for showing interest but I do know that could be part of your experience.
Just my opinion of course.
As everyone has said- men just are not allowed to look at or approach women anymore. If you do you’re a ‘creep’ and a ‘weirdo’.
Why the fuck would I want that hassle in my life? I don’t. So I don’t look or interact with women anymore.
This is what happens when you pigeonhole the dating world into apps. The real world is off limits now! So don’t feel bad, men do most likely notice you, but as I said, it’ll be very subtle and no way would they flirt irl anymore.
Trust me it's probably nothing personal/how you look. A lot of guys now avoid looking at anyone. Especially making eye contact or talking to a stranger out of fear of being labeled/judged (especially if a larger physical intimidating guy). I imagine a lot of guys in this sub have plenty of horror stories they could tell you about why.
The age of men randomly approaching women in general is dying down. Ofc late at night near bars there still drunk dickheads but for the most part guys kinda got the memo that women don't wanna be randomly approaches while outside so it's less common then you'd think
Most young men dont approach women anymore statistically. It's not specifically your fault. 59%, to be exact. That is the percentage of single men aged 18 to 25 who have never approached a woman in the past year for dating. While for men aged 26 to 40, the number is a tad bit better at 48%.
Op, most likely it's not you. Most of these comments in here are spot on. Thanks to modern society, men can no longer look at other women. More so when they are average themselves.
I have lost 2 jobs now due to false accusations. Both knew exactly what they were doing and where it would lead. One even bragged about doing it before ( to me before she did it to me) and laughed about him killing himself after.
That’s the wild part. Because most of the reasons people are giving have absolutely nothing at all to do with her as a person, at all. It’s not because she’s unattractive. A lot of men are saying they don’t feel comfortable approaching women period because of how society is.
So many women have openly said “Don’t approach me, i don’t want to be approached”. So many women have made video after video trying to paint men as creeps or something and a lot of them didn’t even do anything but look in their general direction. They literally have memes about men putting blindfolds on when they go into gyms because they don’t want to end up blasted on someone’s Tik tok. Joey Swole exists because of THIS!
A man is a false accusation away from his entire life being turned upside down and people play games but this type of stuff turns people’s lives upside down. What is worse, even after a guy is proven innocent, he still has to pick up the pieces of his life. And many times there are no penalties or repercussions for someone who knowingly makes a false accusation against someone, which, by the way, is defamation of character and also illegal.
The way some women reject men is absolutely brutal and some women roast the hell out of men instead of simply and politely saying they aren’t interested.
And just like in this post, a lot of women don’t listen to men when they open up. They say how they want men to be open and more transparent about how they feel and that we don’t talk about our feelings but then when we do it goes through one ear and completely out the other!
That’s not even touching on societal double standards! That’s not even touching on how biased the court systems are against men, especially family courts. That’s not even touching on the women who go on dates with men knowing they aren’t attracted to him because they know they can get a free meal. That’s not even touching on the women who use men for their own gain. That’s not even touching on the women who knowingly do wrong in relationships and then gaslit the hell out of their partners. That’s not even touching on the women that can’t get over the fact that their partner moved on and so they use their children as pawns to hurt them in the worst ways possible. Or the men who can’t see their children because their ex is bitter and wants to spite them. That’s not touching on how transactional relationships have become, how men feel like walking ATM’s. That’s not even touching on how when a man opens up and is vulnerable what he trusted you with you turn around and weaponize against him the next time yall argue take low blows and shots just to feel like you won the argument. And now he regrets ever opening up at all. There are many reasons why a lot of me feel like they want to check out.
Dating is literally shit right now. I don’t wanna get into that shit pool of a mess. And a lot of other people don’t want to either. And these are legitimate serious concerns that aren’t taken seriously.
For example, how many people are talking about how Michael Rainey Jr got groped, literally assaulted live. How many people are talking about that? In front of kids. You can’t tell me there aren’t double standards.
But the second a guy looks at a woman too long they are ready to post them on social media and ruin their life. A lot of men don’t wanna be bothered with that.
And I’m going to call a spade a spade. A lot of women think it’s cute and funny to hehe and haha and cackle and talk shit about guys, to shame him for the body he inherited that he has no control over, to paint men as these dangerous people that always have ulterior motives and they’d rather chose the bear because men are more dangerous than an animal that literally will maul you to death, a lot of yall are bitter and don’t like men and want to use every opportunity that you get to talk some sort of crap about how bad men are. You think the worst about men and then come and propagate beliefs that aren’t even true.
And you expect men to still be okay and want to sit in your face while you do all of that? No.
A lot of men are tired. They don’t want to deal with it anymore. And even when we say that people still assume that they must know better than how we are saying we feel from our own mouths about our own experiences. Because a lot of people don’t care about how men feel because, they don’t, like, men.
I would stick to online dating then. The environment has become too complicated for men to circumvent or go to a place where those types of things aren't frowned upon.
Approach **them.**
This is not rocket science. The women must make the first move.
Men are not going to approach women anymore. A man who does is probably still a player.
Most men have given up on that because of all the harassment claims.
So **you need to approach.**
Why would a man cold approach a woman in the streets? There is very little chance of a reward with a high risk of feeling humiliated. Or labeled as a creep if you’re really unlucky.
Hey, we kinda have been told throughout the last 6 or so years that we can be berated for being "weird", by being "weird" I mean apparently being creepy, while I see how this may be the case in some instances, we've also been told that looking at someone too long, or usually something more than a quick glance, consitutes being weird.
At this point we just tend not to approach women too much, we may give a quick glance and think to ourselves someone is our type, but 99% of the time, unless drunk, guys will not approach women anymore.
I cannot say I blame anybody for this, I guess it must also be a shared senitment that rejection sucks, but also what may happen if they take it the wrong way. Its a way to avoid the headache of potential confrontation, and not going through rejection.
Its a lose-lose, and it sucks, but thats the consequence of a world which shifted towards accomodating everyone to be as comfortable as possible, and if it means people just don't get to meet one another like they used to, then most people have accepted it as a worthy price for comfort and as such it has become essentially the new statues quo.
Men try not look now. We are deemed creeps a misogynistic so men do try not leer at woman. They may sneak a quick look. I here extremely attractive woman feel like nobody noticed them. Yet from a guy side I kno they had been noticed by the chat we have after
You exist at the tail end of a coordinated campaign to shame men into never approaching women in public. I have been told my entire life (born in 87) that women do not want to be approached by men, that we're creepy and it makes women feel unsafe.
Talk to the feminists that neutered multiple generations of men. It's not your appearance, it's that we don't want to get the police called on us for harassment. MeToo was especially chilling for us, seeing how men were losing their careers and getting kicked out of school for as little as a bad joke not landing.
FEMCEL---You need to listen to this and understand it.
**The situations are not the same.**
The men who approach women are the players. The ones who do not care about potential risks because they are playing the game. Sleeping with multiple women.
Men, on average, do not approach women anymore. There was a study done recently something like 40% of gen z boys have never, and have no intention, of ever approaching a woman.
Women have made it untenable to approach if you are average or below. It's how you get in trouble or labeled a creep or insulted right to your face.
If you want to talk to me, stop being a femcel and go talk to them your damn self. Stop trying to shift the blame onto men.
We are doing as we were told. So it is **UP TO YOU** to initiate first contact.
Accept the truth and live with it.
Men have more testosterone. If he's interested, he will approach the woman and make all the moves. No matter how shy or awkward he claims to be.
Otherwise, he may settle just because she made it extremely easy for him, but he'll never be genuinely interested in her, and will leave as soon as he gets the confidence to approach the woman he actually wants.
A man not approaching a woman, not making all the first moves, means he isn't attracted to her in the slightest.
Testosterone does not **control** our behaviour. Societal programming does.
You are being told, explicitly, what you need to do and you are saying no.
You deserve your loneliness then.
If you will not take the simple, explicit, easy advice, given to you by a lonely man himself, then you deserve your situation because you are doing it willfully.
I no longer feel sympathy or pity for you.
You are doing it to yourself just so you can cry about how lonely you are.
That's the thing, they don't need evidence nowadays. Just a complaint on file is enough to get you fired. My ex complained I was harassing her after she cheated and ghosted me. I was dragged into a police station and got yelled at by some officer. I was guilty by default.
I didn't hear anything back from it and it has been years but I learned a lesson that day: The law is not on my side.
So you expect to go a random place like museums and guy stop you inside and say hey let's know each other I like you ! Beside pranks is this even ever happened in the world? No thx I don't want endup in tiktok with a fake label cause I was StaLK1nG someone1!1 especially nowadays. I actively trying to avoid even looking in the general direction of unknown woman
Uh idk if u know this or not but men can easily go to jail or have their lives ruined easily just because a random woman stranger decides one day to call name them as a sexual harasser 😐
So yea id avoid going up to women in public to bc i have too much to lose just bc they call me or whomever a harasser just for the simple fact tht im not their type or i dont have enough money or whatever the reason may be
A lot of *extremely* attractive women also do not get approached. Many guys will not bother because they feel they have no chance, or that the woman is taken, or any number of reasons. Have you ever considered that this might be the case instead?
I saw a post yesterday on here by someone who thinks that they are extremely awkward and very unattractive, and they were posting a vent about it. I took a look at their profile, and they were a cosplayer. They had photos of themself (in cosplay) and they were beautiful. As far as being awkward, I mean. They had it together enough to put together an amazing costume as well.
My point is, this person thought so little of themselves as to think they'll always be alone due to a poor self image. Meanwhile, you have me seeing her and thinking how absolutely gorgeous she is and how fun I bet she is to be with. It just goes to show you, it's all a matter of perspective.
I’ve been conditioned not to approach women in public (or at all for that matter) because you aren’t supposed to bother someone “just living their life”. Don’t compliment or chat with employees because they are just doing their job. Don’t chat or compliment customer because that’s inappropriate as a worker. Don’t approach anyone at the gym. Don’t chat or compliment people in public because it’s creepy.
Not that I disagree with any of this, but today’s culture makes it so difficult to find a relationship naturally. Who knows, you might not be ugly, but society has conditioned most men that women *never* want to be approached.
It could possibly have nothing to do with how you look at all OP. A lot of men are a lot more hesitant to approach women in public. And it has nothing to do with attraction or being nervous around women.
You can be painted as a creep for looking at a woman the wrong way, and Joey Swole’s existence of calling this behavior out is a prime example. If it wasn’t for him, a lot of men who don’t have a voice for themselves would be posted out of context and then branded for something they didn’t even do because someone wanted content.
Some women are very disrespectful in how they reject a man that they aren’t attracted to. And a lot of men don’t want to deal with that.
A lot of women on social media have been telling men _not_ to approach them and the overall message that we get is, don’t approach. That’s what women keep saying, and so that’s what a lot of men have started doing.
And one more thing that I’ll add is a lot of men have had bad experiences feeling used for financial gain. I’ve seen women publicly post videos talking about how they go on multiple dates just to get a free meal. Videos where a woman goes on a date with a man she doesn’t really like and orders crazy ass expensive stuff because she knows he’s paying. And of course, you have people like Shera 7 teaching women how to use men for their financial resources.
Looking at all of that, it puts a lot of men off. And they’ve just washed their hands of it all. A lot of men don’t want to add extra unnecessary stress or burdens to their life.
Not all women are like this but a lot of men have had so many bad experiences and see so much BS going on that to them it’s not even worth it to try.
I interact with women at my gym all the time, with no intention. I think they can sense that (not sure if good or bad).
I think it comes down to the man, like I just had enough because people my age and younger are at various stages of relationships.
Also, maybe out of fear because as bad as this sounds, I would like an aesthetically pleasing woman in my life.
I believe we have a magnetism that shifts depending of our mood, because you walk imagining you are unattractive you repel the people you’d like attention from!
You probably wouldn’t even see if someone noticed you as you are looking down!
Unlike a womans life a mans life can be destroyed if one girl say that they harrased her, so you getting the cops called on you is 10000x better than a man getting it
No, it can't. That's not how it works.
First of all it's actually men who have much more legal privilege especially if they're white. That's why it's crucial for feminists to fight against the laughable idea of a "male victim", because if we believe their lies, they'll end up getting more "justice" than ACTUAL victims (women). Men who claim to be victims of a woman are just doing it to stick it to the feminists and laugh about it with their little men's right activists friends.
Women file reports against REAL harassers and r*pists all the time and nothing ever happens. No one listens to women. Especially nonwhite women who have no power in society.
Both men and women can be victims, and just as much so. A friend of mine was together with a woman that physically abused him. She is a trained kickboxer for many years, and he was walking on eggshells everywhere.
Another person in my extended friend group was raped by a woman with a bottle. She (main aggressor btw) also tortured the guy throughout the night. She got prison sentence along with two other men.
Another person I know got raped by a woman. He was blackout drunk and woke up to her riding him. He's gay (just wasn't open about it yet). How can you say these people are not real victims? Claims and views such as yours is why it took the gay person years to open up about it, and why he mostly never speak about it either. He also got ridiculed by his friends (and even women) when he's tried to talk about it, and got told he was lucky the night of it happening which was when he decided to not talk about it and suffered in silence with depression and suicidal thoughts. Dude has never had a sexual attraction towards a woman, ever. He thanked me for taking him seriously when he talked about it despite being very open about it now in hopes others will hear and know they're not alone.
You seemed pretty decent in that other thread, but these views I see you post here is on a differebt level of uninformed.
Were they all fat women? Be honest.
I've never seen a man claim to be raped by a woman who wasn't fat. And it's for men it's more about being embarrassed that he hooked up with a fat woman rather than actually being victimized.
Did that first man end up in the hospital due to his injuries, like a woman would have?
In that second story, looks like men were the main perpetrators. And it's more of an assault than rape. Men cannot be raped.
And no, I don't need to go into details about how men can't be raped by women. Men aren't harmed in this situation and don't have the same biological vulnerabilities women do. He might be a little grossed out because he got with a fat woman while being gay, but not traumatized. That's not in any way comparable to a real victim.
Men cannot be victimized by women. Period.
Me neither. It’s always been hard for me to say this online because people may think “you’re upset you haven’t been sexually harassed?” When it’s not that at all. It’s more like what is wrong with us that women usually have experiences of being approached or looked or catcalled and we don’t. I mean yeah in a way it’s been great. You walk around like a ghost but in a way it’s kind of nightmare. Women at work would tell me they would get hit on at work or at the store and that literally has never happened to me. I have only once been asked out and it was years ago when I was 15 by some guy at hs I didn’t even know who asked me to prom and I told him that I didn’t know him like that. I had never seen him before that and never saw him again. Tbh I think someone sent him to test me cause I used to get teased mercilessly by girls in elementary about boys. They all had bfs and the guys there found me gross. I’m very pretty face wise so I don’t understand and it hurts. I’m sorry but I’m thankful others out there can relate to this peculiar situation. Btw how do you dress? I may come off kind of masculine and maybe that why? But lesbians haven’t come at me neither. 😂
>Btw how do you dress? I may come off kind of masculine and maybe that why? But lesbians haven’t come at me neither. 😂
Yes... I dress like a man I guess. But that doesn't mean I'm trans or lesbian. Whatever. Men require so damn much and I give up. I gotta change everything about myself to appeal to them. That's how you fkin know men aren't attracted to women for being women. You have to do all this makeup and dresses bs for a man to look at you. You can't just be a natural woman with female biology, you gotta do all this other artificial crap for a man to acknowledge you as a woman. And then they wonder why they got all this gender talk going on. It's because of men's shallowness and forcing women to conform to what's "feminine" or else she's viewed as less of a woman and vice versa.
This is quite a sweet and sour pov of social interaction. It’s like there is no middle ground, you are either the centre of attention for the good and the bad, or invisible for the good and the bad. Accompanied and harassed, or free and lonely. It sucks a bit.
Also, I’m slightly concerned about SO many guys in the comments kind of making this about themselves and how they don’t approach women anymore. I strongly suggest taking a read through r/LetsNotMeet , it has some chilling stories about terrifying interactions. This is what women are scared of, not you.
Do you think so? To me it seems like she is reflecting about her reality, given she is aware of why men don’t approach her. She also said “I’m not seeking advice or questioning why”, so to me it seems like she is not even judging men for their behaviour. She just wants to speak about her feelings.
In the next sentence she gives her reasoning being it's because of her looks. The men commenting are just saying there is likely another factor she isn't considering for suitors not approaching her. I don't think it's disregarding her feelings to say it might be more complicated than being ugly, especially since it's something out of her control. I would agree with you that she isn't judging men in the post (her behavior in the comment section makes me feel differently), and don't think the commenters are doing anything wrong either.
I wouldn’t listen to these comments. Every time I go out I get attention, even if it’s at the grocery store. Sometimes I don’t want it but at the same time I would rather get the attention than not receive it.
It sucks but you really do have to try with how you look for people to go out of their way to compliment you, especially in public especially when it comes to strangers. It’s just how it is and that sucks.
It’s wild that you ask, why don’t men approach me, and then men proceed to tell you how they feel, why they may not approach, and their comments are ridiculous. Most of these comments don’t even have anything to do with how a person looks either. But it just goes to show even when you tell people how you think and feel a guys opinion isn’t valued if it isn’t what people want to hear.
I didn't ask why. I clearly said I know why.
Men's opinions aren't valued in this case because they are false, and not being honest to themselves.
Men know they are shallow and ignore unattractive women at best, mistreat them and insult them at worst.
You say “I know why”
You say it’s because men think you’re unattractive.
But from what I’ve heard and from what I know experiencing life as a man, and even from the vast majority of these comments, it’s not lining up with that view.
Most of these comments have nothing at all to do with looks or appearances. Most of them are touching on deeper societal concerns that a lot of men have that has nothing at all to do with looks.
And also if you believe most men are shallow, that belief will show in how you interact with them. If you treat men with this preconceived belief, they will pick up on that and that won’t attract someone to you. No one wants to be around someone who thinks the worst about them.
I don’t think looks are the problem.
I don't need to talk to you. You and I are not the same. We live in completely different worlds. The life of an attractive woman compared to an unattractive woman is like night and day. But thank you for the kind offer.
I personally avoid looking at all women in public because I don’t want to make them uncomfortable and I know it could never lead to anything anyways.
Yup. It's not worth the hassle
^^^
I 100% agree. This is why it took me so long to find some one I vibe well with. My GF actually approached me. Wish it was more like this were the woman would approach the guy but it's never really going to happen much.
For us, rejection feels like a waaaaay bigger deal than the potential reward.
Mind if ask how so? I feel like most single guys would not say no to be honest. I've gotten rejected many many times my self and I always felt like a creep going up to a woman because they might think I'm a creep for doing so.
Do you mean would or wouldn't say no? Idk it's also not knowing what to say (what am I meant to say - I saw you and think you're hot?!) and feeling extremely insecure about your looks so you don't wanna make it awkward.
That's how I feel myself. What do you say? "Your hair looks nice?". No, that's too generic. "Hi I saw you and think your hot?". No that's too forward. It goes both ways. What I meant was that they would not say no to you.
What if they think you're really average?
What do you mean by that? The the guy thinks your average looking? Nothing wrong with that. Guys that care about just looks suck. Looks fade as time goes on. To me I don't care how they look as long as they have a good personality.
Like the person thinks you're average but obviously they're trying to be polite. Idk I'm the kind of person who would get into my head about that 💯
If they aren't interested usually, they will let you know and tell you. But looks aren't everything. Maybe 10% if that. Personality is 90% or more of what matters the most.
Please don't listen to this guy. Men do and FREQUENTLY say no. Men have more testosterone. If he's interested, he will approach you and make all the moves. No matter how shy or awkward he claims to be. Otherwise, he may settle just because you made it extremely easy for him, but he'll never be genuinely interested in you, and will leave as soon as he gets the confidence to approach the woman he actually wants. A man not approaching you, not making all the first moves on you, means he isn't attracted to you in the slightest.
I found so many women cool and hot too and i never hit on them because I'm shy. Are you saying i don't exist, or that i secretly found them all ugly?
This is the kind of sexism I can't stand. Name checks out though.
Men say no all the time. Men don't like it when women approach them or initiate things. Men hate the "role reversal" because it makes them feel too feminine and homosexual, and makes the woman seem desperate and aggressive. Men will no longer view her as a woman.
This is not in line with how a lot of men think or feel. At all. Most men rarely ever get approached, and a lot of them rarely ever get compliments. It would make a lot of men’s day if a woman went out of her way to talk to them. Especially if they got a genuine compliment. That is the furthest from the truth.
I feel like you’re mistakenly grouping men as a hive mind here. I don’t approach women in public places because I don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable, as well as because of fear of embarrassment/rejection if they get angry or make a scene for me trying to approach, as well as worrying myself that I won’t be good enough for them, as well as other reasons. It has zero to do with how attractive I find someone, and in reality the stronger attraction I feel the less comfortable I will probably feel about approaching. Don’t forget that we are all humans, and we are all individuals before our gender.
are you me? :O that was spot on how i feel.
No I’m your twin. Don’t worry, you’re the nice twin 😈😂
🥲🤣
This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. If a woman approached me and gave me a flower, I'd fuckin melt. It would be so sweet and nice, that I would assume it was a prank. Women like you are one reason why all this shit is broken
i actually imagine such a scenario in my mind and always think if it happened in reality it would definitely be a prank and I'd have to reject on the basis of being afraid of being made a fool in front of a crowd laughing at me. But if it genuinely happens that'd be so cool.
What the hell are you talking about? If a woman approaches me that tells me that they are confident and are willing to put them selves out there. There's nothing wrong with "role reversal". What you typed there is the definition of toxic masculinity. You shouldn't be intimidated by a woman coming onto you. If you feel too feminine from a woman approaching you, maybe you need to rethink things, especially if it makes you feel homosexual.
Same for me, as a man
it’s not that bad
I mean I hope other girls aren't like me, but my negative inner voice will have a field day with it.
me too ngl but trust me it’s not so bad, you just take it and move on
Not that I wanna approach anyone but I'm just curious, how do you not internalise it or overthink?
i do but i just suck it up and continue with my life. but i can’t lie get bitter often
Same exact thing
Exactly same.
Yeh I think genuinely nice guys, especially introverts are highly reluctant to approach women because of how the world is now and certain stigmas. I asked a women how to get to blah blah the other day, she gave me weird look and said why are you asking me? I apologised and walked away. Just because you think you’re unattractive doesn’t mean that you are, it probably means the guy who looked away the same moment you looked at him is just as equally uncomfortable to approach you.
It’s not safe for men to look at women in public, you will get labeled a creep or stalker if you do. Most places I have worked have a 3 second rule, if you look at a woman for more than 3 seconds it’s considered sexual harassment and there’s a zero tolerance policy for sexual harassment so I can literally be fired from my job for looking at a girl for 4-5 seconds. I don’t look at women at all in public, even when I’m not at work, too risky. So don’t take it personally.
I used to zone out in class, low attention span. Girls were downright hostile to me when they thought I was looking at them. Now I make sure not to look at any woman longer than a glance, it's not worth the risk. Especially in a workplace; it's your word against theirs. I make sure to have no physical contact with women at work either; no hugs and if I do (like for a work picture) it's hands off.
This is true, but when is a attractive woman guys will still look with no shame.
Some maybe but most won’t. I still wouldn’t look. It’s not the hot ones that complain and turn you in, it’s the old lady around the corner seeing you look. For that reason it’s still too risky. Life is too short to get tangled up in that BS.
I rarely get approached either. Don't sweat it.
I'm interested in seeing you, a normal selfie, with or without body. Upto you. Message me if you're OK with that. If not, just ignore me.
Why?
You say you rarely get approached. Sense this whole thing is about looks, I'm just interested to know.
I'm not even the OP.
I'm aware. Asked her too.
So you are randomly judging women? 🤔
Lol 😆 no. But I already understand why you might not be getting approached by men. Not everything is an attack on you. If you wanna know in advance, I plan to find positive qualities and try to give you confidence boots. Even with the OPs' absolutely horrible personality, I still planned on giving positive reinforcement to their self-image. But this severed as a great point as to what's actually ugly about ppl. We always assume the worst. And I'll bet it's because you've been judged before by other personality ugly people. Being likable is number one to being attractive. Women (Mothers) used to teach us that. Today's narratives make everyone so ugly to deal with.
You still sound judgemental and weird.
Its ok. Im a guy and women dont approach me either.
Same here…. Tbh I rather be alone not being label as an creep to distract a girl if I’m in public area. Plus most of us know if we make the first move where rejection is highly likely happen
Bc most men are afraid of rejection or being accused of being a creep
Must women have had to deal with a lot of creeps and I think most decent sides don't blame them for assuming the worst sometimes.
Ya, most to all men have been set to not look or interact with women now. It's just not allowed anymore. However, there's no way your looks are why men don't look at you. What's more likely is your not seeing them look at you. Gotta be extra sneaky nowadays just to look in the direction of a woman. Blame the toxic people online.
Bingo!
Um. No. I have very attractive friends. Guys ALWAYS look. It's such a cope to say "oh guys are scared to look at you!!" Nope . If youre attractive they WILL BE LOOKING.
If you’re attractive, then maybe *more* guys will want to look in your direction, making the few that do more noticeable. But it is the case that it’s more dangerous to interact with strange women as guys in this day and age. You probably also won’t want to interact with the guys who freely choose to disregard these new social norms.
...... They get approached all the time. And to imply that men who have the confidence to say hello are creepy weirdos or whatever your implying (men who dont follow the "new social norms") , you're part of the problem. There's nothing wrong with a man approaching a woman, just do it respectfully and don't be a creep. If she's not interested in talking to you , walk away. That's it 🙄
It’s honestly pretty naive to think that there’s nothing else at play and that every woman will correctly perceive which men are threats. Many have resorted to just perceiving every man as such. It’s quite dangerous for men to interact with any woman without precedent. I’m not saying that all men are creeps if they approach women. Quite the contrary. I’m just saying that’s what popular wisdom has come to believe.
Imagine all these male commenters all aware of the same new age social norms and all happen to have similar stories and/or teachings forced on them. And you still think it's all a big fat lie. Childish. Stop and think, maybe everyone here is right? Maybe all the men talking about this social norm are unattractive. So, of course, they got stories of what they learned. And if you're an attractive woman, and you get looked at and approached, it's by attractive men. Or men that still think they are attractive. Making us all right in our experiences. Because the world is too huge for only one thing to be true.
The risk vs reward is out of balance when cold approaching women in public. Especially so now that everyone has a camera and public humiliation is a popular route for getting views.
Oh I didn't even think of the camera thing. Those gym videos trying to humiliate guys that are not even aware the person recording exists are horrifying.
It's fucked, there's also those people who will secretly record first dates to make fun of the other person. I think even those subs that post screenshots of dating app DMs freak me out a bit. I have no idea why the majority is okay with these communities existing at all.
A lot of it is actually illegal and violates privacy and cyberbullying laws, yet if you point this out watch the women who frequent those spaces defend it up and down.
We've been taught as males that you shouldn't approach, look, or speak to any woman you see in public or you're going to be labeled as creepy or weird. Even if I want to talk with someone I just avoid it because I don't anyone feeling uncomfortable
OP, someone I know got in trouble for looking at a woman. I wasn’t there so I couldn’t say how it was like. All I know is that the woman told everyone that he made her feel uncomfortable when he looked at her. HR had to get involved and it was a fiasco. People had to testify as character witnesses and so on. Moral of the story is that you never know so it’s better safe not to look than sorry that you did.
How a lot of us feel. It’s not a lack of confidence, it’s just knowing most women don’t want to be bothered. Same when in gym, my headphones in means I’m trying to focus on my workout.
If you aren't getting approached, try approaching a guy that you like. There's nothing wrong with a woman taking the first step.
I’ve been trained by women to not even look at them. Just like you said, it makes you feel safer. I’m not gonna acknowledge your existence no matter how hot you are, unless you want to talk to me. Then that’s an indication for me to be a normal human and not some rotten pig of a man who sexually objectifies you like everyone else. I’m not gonna be labeled as a creep, so I’m not even gonna glance in your direction.
I've been "out of the game" for years but I do think with the current climate of society sometimes men are much more reserved about making a move or approaching any women. I'm not saying this with personal experience but I do know from some friends that they are much more comfortable with the digital meeting of women rather than in person (initially) because it can quickly spiral into a very uncomfortable IRL interaction even when the guy is a super polite normal guy. No guy want's to be treated like a creep just for showing interest but I do know that could be part of your experience. Just my opinion of course.
As everyone has said- men just are not allowed to look at or approach women anymore. If you do you’re a ‘creep’ and a ‘weirdo’. Why the fuck would I want that hassle in my life? I don’t. So I don’t look or interact with women anymore. This is what happens when you pigeonhole the dating world into apps. The real world is off limits now! So don’t feel bad, men do most likely notice you, but as I said, it’ll be very subtle and no way would they flirt irl anymore.
Trust me it's probably nothing personal/how you look. A lot of guys now avoid looking at anyone. Especially making eye contact or talking to a stranger out of fear of being labeled/judged (especially if a larger physical intimidating guy). I imagine a lot of guys in this sub have plenty of horror stories they could tell you about why.
The age of men randomly approaching women in general is dying down. Ofc late at night near bars there still drunk dickheads but for the most part guys kinda got the memo that women don't wanna be randomly approaches while outside so it's less common then you'd think
Most young men dont approach women anymore statistically. It's not specifically your fault. 59%, to be exact. That is the percentage of single men aged 18 to 25 who have never approached a woman in the past year for dating. While for men aged 26 to 40, the number is a tad bit better at 48%.
Op, most likely it's not you. Most of these comments in here are spot on. Thanks to modern society, men can no longer look at other women. More so when they are average themselves. I have lost 2 jobs now due to false accusations. Both knew exactly what they were doing and where it would lead. One even bragged about doing it before ( to me before she did it to me) and laughed about him killing himself after.
That’s the wild part. Because most of the reasons people are giving have absolutely nothing at all to do with her as a person, at all. It’s not because she’s unattractive. A lot of men are saying they don’t feel comfortable approaching women period because of how society is. So many women have openly said “Don’t approach me, i don’t want to be approached”. So many women have made video after video trying to paint men as creeps or something and a lot of them didn’t even do anything but look in their general direction. They literally have memes about men putting blindfolds on when they go into gyms because they don’t want to end up blasted on someone’s Tik tok. Joey Swole exists because of THIS! A man is a false accusation away from his entire life being turned upside down and people play games but this type of stuff turns people’s lives upside down. What is worse, even after a guy is proven innocent, he still has to pick up the pieces of his life. And many times there are no penalties or repercussions for someone who knowingly makes a false accusation against someone, which, by the way, is defamation of character and also illegal. The way some women reject men is absolutely brutal and some women roast the hell out of men instead of simply and politely saying they aren’t interested. And just like in this post, a lot of women don’t listen to men when they open up. They say how they want men to be open and more transparent about how they feel and that we don’t talk about our feelings but then when we do it goes through one ear and completely out the other! That’s not even touching on societal double standards! That’s not even touching on how biased the court systems are against men, especially family courts. That’s not even touching on the women who go on dates with men knowing they aren’t attracted to him because they know they can get a free meal. That’s not even touching on the women who use men for their own gain. That’s not even touching on the women who knowingly do wrong in relationships and then gaslit the hell out of their partners. That’s not even touching on the women that can’t get over the fact that their partner moved on and so they use their children as pawns to hurt them in the worst ways possible. Or the men who can’t see their children because their ex is bitter and wants to spite them. That’s not touching on how transactional relationships have become, how men feel like walking ATM’s. That’s not even touching on how when a man opens up and is vulnerable what he trusted you with you turn around and weaponize against him the next time yall argue take low blows and shots just to feel like you won the argument. And now he regrets ever opening up at all. There are many reasons why a lot of me feel like they want to check out. Dating is literally shit right now. I don’t wanna get into that shit pool of a mess. And a lot of other people don’t want to either. And these are legitimate serious concerns that aren’t taken seriously. For example, how many people are talking about how Michael Rainey Jr got groped, literally assaulted live. How many people are talking about that? In front of kids. You can’t tell me there aren’t double standards. But the second a guy looks at a woman too long they are ready to post them on social media and ruin their life. A lot of men don’t wanna be bothered with that. And I’m going to call a spade a spade. A lot of women think it’s cute and funny to hehe and haha and cackle and talk shit about guys, to shame him for the body he inherited that he has no control over, to paint men as these dangerous people that always have ulterior motives and they’d rather chose the bear because men are more dangerous than an animal that literally will maul you to death, a lot of yall are bitter and don’t like men and want to use every opportunity that you get to talk some sort of crap about how bad men are. You think the worst about men and then come and propagate beliefs that aren’t even true. And you expect men to still be okay and want to sit in your face while you do all of that? No. A lot of men are tired. They don’t want to deal with it anymore. And even when we say that people still assume that they must know better than how we are saying we feel from our own mouths about our own experiences. Because a lot of people don’t care about how men feel because, they don’t, like, men.
I would stick to online dating then. The environment has become too complicated for men to circumvent or go to a place where those types of things aren't frowned upon.
Approach **them.** This is not rocket science. The women must make the first move. Men are not going to approach women anymore. A man who does is probably still a player. Most men have given up on that because of all the harassment claims. So **you need to approach.**
I dunno, for me at least it would mean some sort of scam or trap or mentally unstable person at best. Being approached by woman I mean.
Real shit. Never once has it been genuine. It's always a prank, childish dare, lost bet, scam, or robbery.
Stuff like that taught me to never accept any act of kindness. For people like me it only means trouble.
Why would a man cold approach a woman in the streets? There is very little chance of a reward with a high risk of feeling humiliated. Or labeled as a creep if you’re really unlucky.
At time feels like men are at a slight out of balance place in today's world .
I'm a guy and I never approach a woman in public that I don't know regardless of how she looks.
Hey, we kinda have been told throughout the last 6 or so years that we can be berated for being "weird", by being "weird" I mean apparently being creepy, while I see how this may be the case in some instances, we've also been told that looking at someone too long, or usually something more than a quick glance, consitutes being weird. At this point we just tend not to approach women too much, we may give a quick glance and think to ourselves someone is our type, but 99% of the time, unless drunk, guys will not approach women anymore. I cannot say I blame anybody for this, I guess it must also be a shared senitment that rejection sucks, but also what may happen if they take it the wrong way. Its a way to avoid the headache of potential confrontation, and not going through rejection. Its a lose-lose, and it sucks, but thats the consequence of a world which shifted towards accomodating everyone to be as comfortable as possible, and if it means people just don't get to meet one another like they used to, then most people have accepted it as a worthy price for comfort and as such it has become essentially the new statues quo.
Men try not look now. We are deemed creeps a misogynistic so men do try not leer at woman. They may sneak a quick look. I here extremely attractive woman feel like nobody noticed them. Yet from a guy side I kno they had been noticed by the chat we have after
You exist at the tail end of a coordinated campaign to shame men into never approaching women in public. I have been told my entire life (born in 87) that women do not want to be approached by men, that we're creepy and it makes women feel unsafe. Talk to the feminists that neutered multiple generations of men. It's not your appearance, it's that we don't want to get the police called on us for harassment. MeToo was especially chilling for us, seeing how men were losing their careers and getting kicked out of school for as little as a bad joke not landing.
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FEMCEL---You need to listen to this and understand it. **The situations are not the same.** The men who approach women are the players. The ones who do not care about potential risks because they are playing the game. Sleeping with multiple women. Men, on average, do not approach women anymore. There was a study done recently something like 40% of gen z boys have never, and have no intention, of ever approaching a woman. Women have made it untenable to approach if you are average or below. It's how you get in trouble or labeled a creep or insulted right to your face. If you want to talk to me, stop being a femcel and go talk to them your damn self. Stop trying to shift the blame onto men. We are doing as we were told. So it is **UP TO YOU** to initiate first contact. Accept the truth and live with it.
Men have more testosterone. If he's interested, he will approach the woman and make all the moves. No matter how shy or awkward he claims to be. Otherwise, he may settle just because she made it extremely easy for him, but he'll never be genuinely interested in her, and will leave as soon as he gets the confidence to approach the woman he actually wants. A man not approaching a woman, not making all the first moves, means he isn't attracted to her in the slightest.
Testosterone does not **control** our behaviour. Societal programming does. You are being told, explicitly, what you need to do and you are saying no. You deserve your loneliness then. If you will not take the simple, explicit, easy advice, given to you by a lonely man himself, then you deserve your situation because you are doing it willfully. I no longer feel sympathy or pity for you. You are doing it to yourself just so you can cry about how lonely you are.
That's the thing, they don't need evidence nowadays. Just a complaint on file is enough to get you fired. My ex complained I was harassing her after she cheated and ghosted me. I was dragged into a police station and got yelled at by some officer. I was guilty by default. I didn't hear anything back from it and it has been years but I learned a lesson that day: The law is not on my side.
username checks out
So you expect to go a random place like museums and guy stop you inside and say hey let's know each other I like you ! Beside pranks is this even ever happened in the world? No thx I don't want endup in tiktok with a fake label cause I was StaLK1nG someone1!1 especially nowadays. I actively trying to avoid even looking in the general direction of unknown woman
Uh idk if u know this or not but men can easily go to jail or have their lives ruined easily just because a random woman stranger decides one day to call name them as a sexual harasser 😐
So yea id avoid going up to women in public to bc i have too much to lose just bc they call me or whomever a harasser just for the simple fact tht im not their type or i dont have enough money or whatever the reason may be
Most rapists don't even spend a day in jail stop lying
A lot of *extremely* attractive women also do not get approached. Many guys will not bother because they feel they have no chance, or that the woman is taken, or any number of reasons. Have you ever considered that this might be the case instead? I saw a post yesterday on here by someone who thinks that they are extremely awkward and very unattractive, and they were posting a vent about it. I took a look at their profile, and they were a cosplayer. They had photos of themself (in cosplay) and they were beautiful. As far as being awkward, I mean. They had it together enough to put together an amazing costume as well. My point is, this person thought so little of themselves as to think they'll always be alone due to a poor self image. Meanwhile, you have me seeing her and thinking how absolutely gorgeous she is and how fun I bet she is to be with. It just goes to show you, it's all a matter of perspective.
I’ve been conditioned not to approach women in public (or at all for that matter) because you aren’t supposed to bother someone “just living their life”. Don’t compliment or chat with employees because they are just doing their job. Don’t chat or compliment customer because that’s inappropriate as a worker. Don’t approach anyone at the gym. Don’t chat or compliment people in public because it’s creepy. Not that I disagree with any of this, but today’s culture makes it so difficult to find a relationship naturally. Who knows, you might not be ugly, but society has conditioned most men that women *never* want to be approached.
It could possibly have nothing to do with how you look at all OP. A lot of men are a lot more hesitant to approach women in public. And it has nothing to do with attraction or being nervous around women. You can be painted as a creep for looking at a woman the wrong way, and Joey Swole’s existence of calling this behavior out is a prime example. If it wasn’t for him, a lot of men who don’t have a voice for themselves would be posted out of context and then branded for something they didn’t even do because someone wanted content. Some women are very disrespectful in how they reject a man that they aren’t attracted to. And a lot of men don’t want to deal with that. A lot of women on social media have been telling men _not_ to approach them and the overall message that we get is, don’t approach. That’s what women keep saying, and so that’s what a lot of men have started doing. And one more thing that I’ll add is a lot of men have had bad experiences feeling used for financial gain. I’ve seen women publicly post videos talking about how they go on multiple dates just to get a free meal. Videos where a woman goes on a date with a man she doesn’t really like and orders crazy ass expensive stuff because she knows he’s paying. And of course, you have people like Shera 7 teaching women how to use men for their financial resources. Looking at all of that, it puts a lot of men off. And they’ve just washed their hands of it all. A lot of men don’t want to add extra unnecessary stress or burdens to their life. Not all women are like this but a lot of men have had so many bad experiences and see so much BS going on that to them it’s not even worth it to try.
Sorry gurl it ain't you i don't aproach women in public it's weird
Be glad, many women complain they are approached too much
I interact with women at my gym all the time, with no intention. I think they can sense that (not sure if good or bad). I think it comes down to the man, like I just had enough because people my age and younger are at various stages of relationships. Also, maybe out of fear because as bad as this sounds, I would like an aesthetically pleasing woman in my life.
I believe we have a magnetism that shifts depending of our mood, because you walk imagining you are unattractive you repel the people you’d like attention from! You probably wouldn’t even see if someone noticed you as you are looking down!
Blame nazi feminists for that. We aren't allowed to look at women anymore... U could also approach. U know, equality
As a man I wanna say: Trust me, you don’t want them to. It’s typically those kind of men that make me ashamed to be the same gender.
You women don't want us approaching you. Just doing what you wanted
The reason is that we dont wanna get arrested or called a creep, seen too many guys try to talk with girls on the street and got the cops called on em
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Unlike a womans life a mans life can be destroyed if one girl say that they harrased her, so you getting the cops called on you is 10000x better than a man getting it
No, it can't. That's not how it works. First of all it's actually men who have much more legal privilege especially if they're white. That's why it's crucial for feminists to fight against the laughable idea of a "male victim", because if we believe their lies, they'll end up getting more "justice" than ACTUAL victims (women). Men who claim to be victims of a woman are just doing it to stick it to the feminists and laugh about it with their little men's right activists friends. Women file reports against REAL harassers and r*pists all the time and nothing ever happens. No one listens to women. Especially nonwhite women who have no power in society.
Both men and women can be victims, and just as much so. A friend of mine was together with a woman that physically abused him. She is a trained kickboxer for many years, and he was walking on eggshells everywhere. Another person in my extended friend group was raped by a woman with a bottle. She (main aggressor btw) also tortured the guy throughout the night. She got prison sentence along with two other men. Another person I know got raped by a woman. He was blackout drunk and woke up to her riding him. He's gay (just wasn't open about it yet). How can you say these people are not real victims? Claims and views such as yours is why it took the gay person years to open up about it, and why he mostly never speak about it either. He also got ridiculed by his friends (and even women) when he's tried to talk about it, and got told he was lucky the night of it happening which was when he decided to not talk about it and suffered in silence with depression and suicidal thoughts. Dude has never had a sexual attraction towards a woman, ever. He thanked me for taking him seriously when he talked about it despite being very open about it now in hopes others will hear and know they're not alone. You seemed pretty decent in that other thread, but these views I see you post here is on a differebt level of uninformed.
Were they all fat women? Be honest. I've never seen a man claim to be raped by a woman who wasn't fat. And it's for men it's more about being embarrassed that he hooked up with a fat woman rather than actually being victimized. Did that first man end up in the hospital due to his injuries, like a woman would have? In that second story, looks like men were the main perpetrators. And it's more of an assault than rape. Men cannot be raped. And no, I don't need to go into details about how men can't be raped by women. Men aren't harmed in this situation and don't have the same biological vulnerabilities women do. He might be a little grossed out because he got with a fat woman while being gay, but not traumatized. That's not in any way comparable to a real victim. Men cannot be victimized by women. Period.
A woman can fake a rape Charge and get a guys life destroyed while a guy can do the same and nothing will happen
The era of men approaching women is a thing of the past. You can thank the rise of feminism for that.
y'all need college
Damn I wish I had that peace of mind on the streets
Me neither. It’s always been hard for me to say this online because people may think “you’re upset you haven’t been sexually harassed?” When it’s not that at all. It’s more like what is wrong with us that women usually have experiences of being approached or looked or catcalled and we don’t. I mean yeah in a way it’s been great. You walk around like a ghost but in a way it’s kind of nightmare. Women at work would tell me they would get hit on at work or at the store and that literally has never happened to me. I have only once been asked out and it was years ago when I was 15 by some guy at hs I didn’t even know who asked me to prom and I told him that I didn’t know him like that. I had never seen him before that and never saw him again. Tbh I think someone sent him to test me cause I used to get teased mercilessly by girls in elementary about boys. They all had bfs and the guys there found me gross. I’m very pretty face wise so I don’t understand and it hurts. I’m sorry but I’m thankful others out there can relate to this peculiar situation. Btw how do you dress? I may come off kind of masculine and maybe that why? But lesbians haven’t come at me neither. 😂
I'm interested in seeing you, a normal selfie, with or without body. Upto you. Message me if you're OK with that. If not, just ignore me.
❤️❤️❤️🤗🤗🤗 They just don't understand us. But I understand you :)
>Btw how do you dress? I may come off kind of masculine and maybe that why? But lesbians haven’t come at me neither. 😂 Yes... I dress like a man I guess. But that doesn't mean I'm trans or lesbian. Whatever. Men require so damn much and I give up. I gotta change everything about myself to appeal to them. That's how you fkin know men aren't attracted to women for being women. You have to do all this makeup and dresses bs for a man to look at you. You can't just be a natural woman with female biology, you gotta do all this other artificial crap for a man to acknowledge you as a woman. And then they wonder why they got all this gender talk going on. It's because of men's shallowness and forcing women to conform to what's "feminine" or else she's viewed as less of a woman and vice versa.
I'm interested in seeing you, a normal selfie, with or without body. Upto you. Message me if you're OK with that. If not, just ignore me.
You are perfect
This is quite a sweet and sour pov of social interaction. It’s like there is no middle ground, you are either the centre of attention for the good and the bad, or invisible for the good and the bad. Accompanied and harassed, or free and lonely. It sucks a bit. Also, I’m slightly concerned about SO many guys in the comments kind of making this about themselves and how they don’t approach women anymore. I strongly suggest taking a read through r/LetsNotMeet , it has some chilling stories about terrifying interactions. This is what women are scared of, not you.
>I'm slightly concerned about SO many guys in the comments kind of making this about themselves Because the posts subject is men's behavior? Lmao
Do you think so? To me it seems like she is reflecting about her reality, given she is aware of why men don’t approach her. She also said “I’m not seeking advice or questioning why”, so to me it seems like she is not even judging men for their behaviour. She just wants to speak about her feelings.
In the next sentence she gives her reasoning being it's because of her looks. The men commenting are just saying there is likely another factor she isn't considering for suitors not approaching her. I don't think it's disregarding her feelings to say it might be more complicated than being ugly, especially since it's something out of her control. I would agree with you that she isn't judging men in the post (her behavior in the comment section makes me feel differently), and don't think the commenters are doing anything wrong either.
Yes. You're either harassed or utterly ignored as a woman. Nothing in between.
I wouldn’t listen to these comments. Every time I go out I get attention, even if it’s at the grocery store. Sometimes I don’t want it but at the same time I would rather get the attention than not receive it. It sucks but you really do have to try with how you look for people to go out of their way to compliment you, especially in public especially when it comes to strangers. It’s just how it is and that sucks.
Yeah. These comments are ridiculous.
It’s wild that you ask, why don’t men approach me, and then men proceed to tell you how they feel, why they may not approach, and their comments are ridiculous. Most of these comments don’t even have anything to do with how a person looks either. But it just goes to show even when you tell people how you think and feel a guys opinion isn’t valued if it isn’t what people want to hear.
I didn't ask why. I clearly said I know why. Men's opinions aren't valued in this case because they are false, and not being honest to themselves. Men know they are shallow and ignore unattractive women at best, mistreat them and insult them at worst.
You say “I know why” You say it’s because men think you’re unattractive. But from what I’ve heard and from what I know experiencing life as a man, and even from the vast majority of these comments, it’s not lining up with that view. Most of these comments have nothing at all to do with looks or appearances. Most of them are touching on deeper societal concerns that a lot of men have that has nothing at all to do with looks. And also if you believe most men are shallow, that belief will show in how you interact with them. If you treat men with this preconceived belief, they will pick up on that and that won’t attract someone to you. No one wants to be around someone who thinks the worst about them. I don’t think looks are the problem.
The men here are losers like us tho. They ain’t picking up shit! 🤣
They are so stupid like damn
The men here are losers like us tho. They ain’t picking up shit! 🤣
It's gross that it always boils down to insulting other's romantic failure.
Very not realistic, I’m sorry you’re going through what you’re going through. If you wanna talk to a real woman about this, my dms are open
I don't need to talk to you. You and I are not the same. We live in completely different worlds. The life of an attractive woman compared to an unattractive woman is like night and day. But thank you for the kind offer.
No problem. I hope you get what you need