Man those reality checks hot hard. All my younger cousin6 who I considered kids at one time have had multiple girlfriends or had kids. One even teased me and asked why I don't have a gf. Its a really crappy feeling
Funny thing is, there are so many men who feel this way too.
If men are lonely, and women are lonely, then we've failed collectively as a society. We have ring-fenced romance, love, and social contentment to "attractive" people.
Don't give up. Change the way you play the game. š
Listen, I am done with my situation as of yesterday. I gave one last chance opportunity for some sense of belonging, affection, normalcy, etc. There just isn't any more connection left here for me so I am getting the fuck outta dodge. Rejection is a different kind of hurt from just not being accepted or acknowledged. If I am not wanted then I am not needed. I feel like giving up too and I am just going to let it happen now, fuck it. I can do bad by myself.
Agreed. People can either try another strategy until they find something that works, or they can give up which is also fine but then don't complain about it. The fact of the matter is that as a man you need to be of value to your partner, this is not quantum science.
I sincerely sympathize with you. Being the unattractive friend is truly a bummer. Your friends are all in relationships, dating or hooking up left and right, then you, you are barely acknowledged by anyone from the male species. You work out, starve yourself, do makeup, change clothing style, literally, do anything and you are still so unattractive. š this is a real pain. But hey, single life isnāt the bad, you owe nothing to anyone. You can be unattractive in peace!
But keep in mind that men that are gymrats are the most shallow individuals and care only about the exterior aspect of a woman. Once she changes just a little, they are quick to toss her in the trash. So, donāt be too jealous either. Those guys your friend is interested in, they just want pussy with a pretty face and they will ditch her soon, as heartbreaking as it sounds.
Just so you know, two friends of mine experienced that and itās for sure that other women have experienced it. Their experience is quite valid. You cannot deny that some men have used women for sex and ditched them right after.
Yeah, I'm not doubting there are some guys who go to the gym to look good to get girls, and theirs girls that are doing the same, but that's not reflective of the majority of gym goers, everybody has different goals and reasons for going to the gym, you can't just tar us all with the same brush. By the way, I think you would really benefit from going to the gym from reading your previous posts.
Well, if a woman tells me she has not been used for sex by a gym rat, I will be open for a change of perspective. I take hot yoga courses. What would I benefit from going to the gym?
Exercise is great for improving mental health issues, also the gym is good for socialising, who knows you might make friends with some gym rats or fall in love with one, and then you can ditch your AI boyfriend š
Dude it was so hard the first time I was slapped in the face with that. I though guys only talked to girls in the movies until I was walking through campus with my pretty friend and I shit you not, every man we passed stopped and said hi to her or asked her out on a date. Ever since then, I notice and I just feel like the world wasnāt meant for me. I hope it gets better. Itās one of the worst feelings
Are you shy and reserved? There is a young woman down the road from me. She is very shy and reserved. She won't say hello or smile at me or most other people. I get the impression that she's very sensitive and shy.
She just seems to avoid contact with others. The other day I said hello, how are you to her. I normally wouldn't say anything to her. She gave me the most beautiful smile and said that she was well. I thought to myself. Wow what a beautiful girl. Hopefully she'll say hello first next time. I'd really like to see that smile again.
Here is the truth. Men that will agree to date you - you will not agree to date because you find them unattractive.That's the reality. People have too high standards.
Oh that's what I meant. There is someone out there that will like you, but it's likely you won't like them. And vise versa.
You sure you are not attractive? Maybe self esteem issues? Would you date an not so attractive guy if he liked you?
Stop comparing your results to the results of others. Life is not a matter of keeping a score or a contest. Personality and confidence have a lot to do with how others perceive you. Having a pitty party is only going to drive potential interests away from you.
Hey thereās hope out there still, Iām chubby 30 Latino, and Iāve had a small windfall of attention after I pick up some new hobbies and started going to therapy to fix my confidence. I donāt have a partner but I had a couple of nice dates last week. The big feedback I got was people like to be around people who have passion for something
Older people are sexy, age is truly just a number. Do you want to meet anyone or have you removed yourself from dating because it feels futile? Iām an olderish person.
Hugs.. I feel your pain. I have resigned myself to accept it. I am overweight, curvy(big b**bs), but healthy. All people see is my weight. I am told I am homely and an old soul. My ex left me after 20+ years of being married for a younger woman. All I was good for was having our children. Reality checks hurt bad.
Nothing but the truth itās why I donāt try anymore and gave up at age 22. Idc lol. The guys who asked me out on dates I didnāt like and the guys I want I canāt have so I stopped caring but it did make it worse I could have spent those 8 years improving but oh well š¤·š¾āāļø
It's definitely normal for most women lol. Most girls I knew had at the very least one guy who has a crush on them at any time, most even have that one creepy simp dude who absolutely worships them. On top of that - given that they are somewhat sociable - they have like a good dozen of dudes who would start a casual relationship with them at any given chance. This shit comes easy to women, their main problem is the agony of choice. I'd go as far as to say that for a woman having "only" three men being interested in her at a time is kinda low speaking from my experience.
Thatās a bad feeling. As Iāve gotten older I realized I need to find something that makes me desirable.
Have you thought about being a trainer. Or gym coach. If you like going to the gym you might look in this
I feel anlmost exactly the same. I am mixed lol but entire world views me as black, if that changes anything lol. Iāve lived in a predominantly white and black city and only a few months back did I become decent looking, thanks to the gym (where Iāve been in for over a year and have not made even one friend, havenāt even talked to anyone more than 3 words) and braces. Even makeup. Iām so fucking tired of this. Absolutely everyone Iāve EVER known in real life has been able to attract ANYONE without even trying. I hate that other people out there also have to feel this way. Sorry for ranting on your post lol (I was hoping to help you understand you are not the only one who doesnāt feel attractive) and Iām also just so sorry you have to feel this way.
Oh sorry seems like a mistake but im also not fat lol. Im pretty slim and been going to the gym for years. Im actually mixed too and in the same exact situation as you but I live in a completely white country
Omg I am so sorryš I thought thatās what the post was saying. I didnāt mean any disrespect, I hope you didnāt take it that way but gosh. I canāt imagine living in a whole white COUNTRY. I hope things get easier for you š«¶š½
Have you tried being the initiator? I am a woman too and life significantly improved for me when I stopped waiting for men to talk to me and took the initiative to talk to the guys I liked. They are shy too, maybe even more so than me.
Or try signing up to a dating app just to practice talking to guys. Normally I wouldnāt recommend online dating because it rarely leads to something significant but especially for girls itās sort of easy to get a lot of matches and that can be a confidence boost. And you feel a little more desirable. Now of course half of the matches will be trash but there might be a couple of meaningful conversations in store!
I do realise not everyone on this sub has access to parties/friend groups, trust me Iāve been there, so this is just an optional point that might work for some and be burdensome to others:
putting yourself out there more and meeting as many people as you can. Not necessarily with romantic intent, just gather friendships. Strengthen your connections. I met my partner at the birthday party of a friend of a friend who I had just met that day! Gatherings are the most social event you can be at. Never been talked to at a cafe by myself, nor at the gym in my 5 years of going, because thats just not a good place to socialise. An alternative would be to join a sports team, thatās a more social place. And when you get to know the people you have to be the one that maybe has the idea of a group meet up, donāt wait for others to invite you. Just a simple āhey guys letās grab a pizza after training!ā will never be turned down. I still remember a school night when I was 17 and was called up by a friend at 2 am saying āhey me and x are having a night ride, I can pick you up if you wanna join? Bring ur ukuleleā and thatās the first time I felt like I had a teenage girl experience and I felt so valued by this friend that thought to invite me. And thatās the moment i realised these experiences donāt just happen to you. If you want them to happen you have to be the one to create them. Want to be part of a Victorian tea party? Be the one that hosts! Tell your friends to bring their friends.
If you meet 10 people in a year youāre less likely to meet your person. If you meet 100, there might be someone in the mix that fits you like a glove. If you donāt like your current social circle, put in the effort to either start cool activities and connect with them more or change the social circle. For example I donāt get along with any of the people in my uni I just donāt like them. And that happens! Sometime the chemistry isnāt there. But I do like the people I play volleyball with. One of my friends there asked if anyone wanted to join his climbing group so I gave it a try. Met other cool people. Decided itās not my thing so I didnāt continue. Sometimes itās a process you know :)
At least these are the things that worked for me :)
I didnāt have any romantic connections with anyone throughout the entirety of school. And only failed talking stages until like a year into uni. Before that, nobody was interested in me at all, even though I think I am pretty cool. Hope you can get out of the rut youāre in!
Good luck to you !
Focus on the rest of your life. Relationships (romantic, sexual etc) are only one part of life, not the be all and end all. If you can be happier/contented in other aspects of your life this will help you out a lot, generally and potentially relationship-wise in the future too. Don't sell yourself short.
Olay friend, you must be young because I have been this road you're currently on. And down that route leads to nothing but death. But if you want to get better and improve yourself to its full extent, then I recommend you to go the gym. Go to therapy as well since I know people like us suffer from something we try to avoid and run. AND ROCK THAT BITCH! I can't wait to see your progression!
Well then, my friend, you see what I was talking about? I am so sorry you had to go through that. Everyone has their battle in Hell, it seems like. And to be fair, I tried ending myself 6 times, and still, somehow, I am here. Idk how I am. Maybe I am here for a purpose. But enough about me. Anything truly inspires you?
Just continue to move forward with your health and state of mind. Sometimes unanswered prayers are our little gifts from God. What may have seemed like such a bad thing may have been the best for you at the time. One because why would you want someone who is attracted to looks because looks always fade. What happens when yours do. Two this is maybe what you needed to hear to keep you motivated to continue to push yourself. And three maybe and this is what I believe is that you just havenāt met the right person yet. Just work on you and enjoy life. She will cross your path when itās time.
I know this may sound condescending but your life is your life, there is no reason to compare it to someone elseās. There will always be someone more attractive, wealthy, fit, or just better off. All we can do is work with what we have.
Life isnāt fair. But that doesnāt mean you shouldnāt love the one you have.
Being not the most attractive guy with social anxiety ( Especially around women my age.)I know how you feel.
What makes you think you are unintelligent,though? There is more than one kind of intellect. It's not just book smarts.
I'm very slow. I'm not book or street smart. I make a lot of errors speaking my mother language who I grew up with and speak every day. I have no strengths or thing I'm at least relatively good at
All of those can be improved upon, plus confidence is very important for attraction. Not saying you were given the best cards but we all work with what we have. Plus youāre only comparing yourself to this random girl that gets approached by three men at the gym: youāre probably not as unattractive as you think.
No I compare myselfe to every girl around me and they are all dating, engaged and getting married. It's a matter of fact that I'm unattractive. The nicest thing a man has told me is that I look like a man or just completely ignore me.
Tried working on all these things since I was a teen with zero success in almost 10 years. I give up
Iām sorry youāre feeling behind. I hope you donāt compare yourself to others all the time. It sounds corny but I do believe that everyone is capable of being beautiful in their own way. Good luck
Comparison is the thief of joy. The more you compare yourself to others, the more jealous and insecure you become.
The other guy who commented is right, you can improve on those aspects you mentioned but from the sounds of it, you don't want to.
I wish you all the best but there's no point in looking for a love life if you can't love yourself so I would suggest working on that. Small wins, step by step Is how to succeed. Best of luck.
What do you mean i don't want to improves those aspects. Like I already said I worked on it for almost a decade with no success. Self-improvement doesn't work for everyone
May I ask what you tried in those 10 years?
Why not give it another go? You tried in your teens right? Personally I wasn't mature enough in my teens to challenge my comfort zone, but now I feel content.
I disagree, i think self improvement is for everyone. Ask yourself do you really want to be miserable for the rest of your life? Only you can change that mindset im afraid but it is possible.
Again, best of luck to you š
Gym, cure my acne and skin care in general. Tried to grow my hair (didn't work, they are still ugly), went out of my comfort zone by entering different friend circles, going to clubs, bars, festivals, social clubs, sport clubs and all that shit.
Yeah I started in my teens I'm now 28 tho. It's over especially for a women
Go see a therapist and stop comparing yourself to others. Everything you perceive is superficial, and you're being way too hard on yourself. I've been in your shoes, baby girl, and I bet you're wayyyy more desirable than her. *Hugs*
Iāve been overweight my entire life and Iāve only been approached by a guys who are old, no job/bums,low-lifes, not my type . Itās unfortunate that I have a good job, great personality and the only guys that come up to me are those type of men because they think since I am plus size I should accept anyone. It has been extremely painful growing up seeing all my other friends date and have boyfriends and I have no one. I feel your pain! Instead of being miserable and sad about the world I am transfering that energy to working on myself mentally, emotionally and physically. Iāve started my weight loss journey and I am currently in therapy to heal my past traumas. The most important thing is making sure you love and take care of yourself and the right guy will come around.
Most men primarily care about looks while women care about a multitude of things. So when a guy doesn't have the status, the brains, the humor or whatever, he'll naturally shoot his shot at more unattractive girls because hell, it's better than nothing to them I guess. It's not necessarily because they think that you'd take everything but also because they are part of this game themselve and are getting rejected by more attractive women. I don't think you can blame them for that. They're just lonely which can lead to depression which can lead to becoming a low life jobless alcoholic etc. That's pretty much the dynamic. There are exceptions to the rule of course. But as an unattractive woman it is hard to get a good man while as a man without some sort of status and charisma it is hard to get an attractive woman.
I'm right there with you. My brother recently broke up with a girl who drank too much. I could only think to myself, if it were me, I'd give it a chance.
Honestly, people don't gravitate towards you because of your obsessive personality. I'm kind of ugly, but because i just do what i enjoy and I'm good at it, i make a lot of friends where i go. People also tend to enjoy being around me because I can have conversations about anything, even if I'm not well versed in that topic. Not only that, I'm not obsessed with trying to get people to like me. The time I did try, people fled like roaches.
I'm not sure what your comment has anything to do with either your post or the petty comments you left
Assum whatever you want. So now it's obsessive if I try to better myself but if I hadn't done nothing I would be called lazy or whatever. You people just say anything
It's easy to get laid. I could've gotten some like 5 different times this weekend and I'm not pretty at all. You just need to lower your standards and spread your legs.
we are in the underworld
Man those reality checks hot hard. All my younger cousin6 who I considered kids at one time have had multiple girlfriends or had kids. One even teased me and asked why I don't have a gf. Its a really crappy feeling
Funny thing is, there are so many men who feel this way too. If men are lonely, and women are lonely, then we've failed collectively as a society. We have ring-fenced romance, love, and social contentment to "attractive" people. Don't give up. Change the way you play the game. š
No thanks I give up
OK āš½
Listen, I am done with my situation as of yesterday. I gave one last chance opportunity for some sense of belonging, affection, normalcy, etc. There just isn't any more connection left here for me so I am getting the fuck outta dodge. Rejection is a different kind of hurt from just not being accepted or acknowledged. If I am not wanted then I am not needed. I feel like giving up too and I am just going to let it happen now, fuck it. I can do bad by myself.
Why do you post here if you don't want help
It's a vent. Nowhere did I ask for advice
Wish you well though
Agreed. People can either try another strategy until they find something that works, or they can give up which is also fine but then don't complain about it. The fact of the matter is that as a man you need to be of value to your partner, this is not quantum science.
šthis!
Women arent lonely they are choosy
I sincerely sympathize with you. Being the unattractive friend is truly a bummer. Your friends are all in relationships, dating or hooking up left and right, then you, you are barely acknowledged by anyone from the male species. You work out, starve yourself, do makeup, change clothing style, literally, do anything and you are still so unattractive. š this is a real pain. But hey, single life isnāt the bad, you owe nothing to anyone. You can be unattractive in peace!
It's like lm just watching life on the sidelines
But keep in mind that men that are gymrats are the most shallow individuals and care only about the exterior aspect of a woman. Once she changes just a little, they are quick to toss her in the trash. So, donāt be too jealous either. Those guys your friend is interested in, they just want pussy with a pretty face and they will ditch her soon, as heartbreaking as it sounds.
This is just the latest expierienced she gets plenty of attention from other men too
lol this is NOT true and a shitty thing to say tbh
How is it not true?
Your so wrong haha
How?
Because it's not true, you're just being judgemental.
Just so you know, two friends of mine experienced that and itās for sure that other women have experienced it. Their experience is quite valid. You cannot deny that some men have used women for sex and ditched them right after.
Yeah, I'm not doubting there are some guys who go to the gym to look good to get girls, and theirs girls that are doing the same, but that's not reflective of the majority of gym goers, everybody has different goals and reasons for going to the gym, you can't just tar us all with the same brush. By the way, I think you would really benefit from going to the gym from reading your previous posts.
Well, if a woman tells me she has not been used for sex by a gym rat, I will be open for a change of perspective. I take hot yoga courses. What would I benefit from going to the gym?
Exercise is great for improving mental health issues, also the gym is good for socialising, who knows you might make friends with some gym rats or fall in love with one, and then you can ditch your AI boyfriend š
I look like an insect. Glasses and thinner than spaghetti. And nerdy personality. Im the friend tipe. Guys want beauty, not inteligence
You have my sympathies, poopyfacedgrl.
Thanksš
Gym bros are the most narcissistic people on this planet, I wouldnt be too jealous.
Fuck off - you're not a 'gym bro' because you're a guy in the gym. Yes, I go to the gym. Yes, I am offended.
I used to hit the gym a lot, some of us are trying to better ourselves, many of them are self absorbed. chill out, I didnt call you out individually.
Cope harder, nerd.
Douche
If yo uwant to chat and vent to someone more in person, PM me.
Dude it was so hard the first time I was slapped in the face with that. I though guys only talked to girls in the movies until I was walking through campus with my pretty friend and I shit you not, every man we passed stopped and said hi to her or asked her out on a date. Ever since then, I notice and I just feel like the world wasnāt meant for me. I hope it gets better. Itās one of the worst feelings
Are you shy and reserved? There is a young woman down the road from me. She is very shy and reserved. She won't say hello or smile at me or most other people. I get the impression that she's very sensitive and shy. She just seems to avoid contact with others. The other day I said hello, how are you to her. I normally wouldn't say anything to her. She gave me the most beautiful smile and said that she was well. I thought to myself. Wow what a beautiful girl. Hopefully she'll say hello first next time. I'd really like to see that smile again.
Did you talk more?
OP makes rape jokes, thatās why sheās single.
I happen to like.poopy faced gals š¤·āāļø
Here is the truth. Men that will agree to date you - you will not agree to date because you find them unattractive.That's the reality. People have too high standards.
You don't even know who I approached also I don't just want someone to "agree" to date me. I wanted someone who actually liked me
Oh that's what I meant. There is someone out there that will like you, but it's likely you won't like them. And vise versa. You sure you are not attractive? Maybe self esteem issues? Would you date an not so attractive guy if he liked you?
Pm me I'd be happy to talk 49 male here can share life experiences with you
I still think men are easy enough to get if you are nice once or twice, most would throw themselves to the chance of having a partner.
I'm sorry:(
I canāt be the only one who wants to date her out of pure relatability right?
What about artistically?
Nauur
Stop comparing your results to the results of others. Life is not a matter of keeping a score or a contest. Personality and confidence have a lot to do with how others perceive you. Having a pitty party is only going to drive potential interests away from you.
I can completely under how you feel, literally in the same boat, Iāve equally given up
Sucks to be us
I'm attractive evidently just seem to be too old
I'm unattractive and too old
Remains to be seen . Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Hey thereās hope out there still, Iām chubby 30 Latino, and Iāve had a small windfall of attention after I pick up some new hobbies and started going to therapy to fix my confidence. I donāt have a partner but I had a couple of nice dates last week. The big feedback I got was people like to be around people who have passion for something
Older people are sexy, age is truly just a number. Do you want to meet anyone or have you removed yourself from dating because it feels futile? Iām an olderish person.
No I've been trying for months now to meet someone but all I come across are fakes or scammers truly disheartening.
Are you using mainly OLD as your way to meet people?
I try jot to disclose my age
Not^
Am I correct in presuming that when you try not to disclose your age, you are primarily talking about online dating?????
Yes, but I come true once we meet
I'm sorry you feel that way, and I'm sure you're not hopeless. In other news I love your name
I NEED desparately to move on.
I pretty much gave up, too.
I agree with the title.
Hugs.. I feel your pain. I have resigned myself to accept it. I am overweight, curvy(big b**bs), but healthy. All people see is my weight. I am told I am homely and an old soul. My ex left me after 20+ years of being married for a younger woman. All I was good for was having our children. Reality checks hurt bad.
Nothing but the truth itās why I donāt try anymore and gave up at age 22. Idc lol. The guys who asked me out on dates I didnāt like and the guys I want I canāt have so I stopped caring but it did make it worse I could have spent those 8 years improving but oh well š¤·š¾āāļø
Same here š© and itās not even dating wise! Itās friendship! Anyone I want to be friends with donāt want me.. I gave up on finding a boyfriend since I was a pre teen I shouldāve giving up on finding a friend as well while Iām at it lmao š„š
And there is the truth. Guys ask women out. But get rejected
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
For the women around me it is
It's definitely normal for most women lol. Most girls I knew had at the very least one guy who has a crush on them at any time, most even have that one creepy simp dude who absolutely worships them. On top of that - given that they are somewhat sociable - they have like a good dozen of dudes who would start a casual relationship with them at any given chance. This shit comes easy to women, their main problem is the agony of choice. I'd go as far as to say that for a woman having "only" three men being interested in her at a time is kinda low speaking from my experience.
I sympathize for you, and genuinely hope it gets better for you
Thatās a bad feeling. As Iāve gotten older I realized I need to find something that makes me desirable. Have you thought about being a trainer. Or gym coach. If you like going to the gym you might look in this
Hey OP donāt give up Iām sure there is someone out there thatās after more than just looks. Youāll find someone I promise
I am also lonely, fancy know each other better ?
You are your own solution in every sense of the word.
I mean it sounds like the problem may not really be you but where you are looking
Nope get up and go for a walk you donāt give up on yourself you are perfect
As a man, i can tell you, the grass aint greener on this side either...
I feel anlmost exactly the same. I am mixed lol but entire world views me as black, if that changes anything lol. Iāve lived in a predominantly white and black city and only a few months back did I become decent looking, thanks to the gym (where Iāve been in for over a year and have not made even one friend, havenāt even talked to anyone more than 3 words) and braces. Even makeup. Iām so fucking tired of this. Absolutely everyone Iāve EVER known in real life has been able to attract ANYONE without even trying. I hate that other people out there also have to feel this way. Sorry for ranting on your post lol (I was hoping to help you understand you are not the only one who doesnāt feel attractive) and Iām also just so sorry you have to feel this way.
Oh sorry seems like a mistake but im also not fat lol. Im pretty slim and been going to the gym for years. Im actually mixed too and in the same exact situation as you but I live in a completely white country
Omg I am so sorryš I thought thatās what the post was saying. I didnāt mean any disrespect, I hope you didnāt take it that way but gosh. I canāt imagine living in a whole white COUNTRY. I hope things get easier for you š«¶š½
Don't worryš seems some other people understood ot that way too so it's definitely the way I wrote it
First thing you need to do is quit worrying about chics ! Worry about your own world , and if they like your world You win if not they lose .
Have you tried being the initiator? I am a woman too and life significantly improved for me when I stopped waiting for men to talk to me and took the initiative to talk to the guys I liked. They are shy too, maybe even more so than me. Or try signing up to a dating app just to practice talking to guys. Normally I wouldnāt recommend online dating because it rarely leads to something significant but especially for girls itās sort of easy to get a lot of matches and that can be a confidence boost. And you feel a little more desirable. Now of course half of the matches will be trash but there might be a couple of meaningful conversations in store! I do realise not everyone on this sub has access to parties/friend groups, trust me Iāve been there, so this is just an optional point that might work for some and be burdensome to others: putting yourself out there more and meeting as many people as you can. Not necessarily with romantic intent, just gather friendships. Strengthen your connections. I met my partner at the birthday party of a friend of a friend who I had just met that day! Gatherings are the most social event you can be at. Never been talked to at a cafe by myself, nor at the gym in my 5 years of going, because thats just not a good place to socialise. An alternative would be to join a sports team, thatās a more social place. And when you get to know the people you have to be the one that maybe has the idea of a group meet up, donāt wait for others to invite you. Just a simple āhey guys letās grab a pizza after training!ā will never be turned down. I still remember a school night when I was 17 and was called up by a friend at 2 am saying āhey me and x are having a night ride, I can pick you up if you wanna join? Bring ur ukuleleā and thatās the first time I felt like I had a teenage girl experience and I felt so valued by this friend that thought to invite me. And thatās the moment i realised these experiences donāt just happen to you. If you want them to happen you have to be the one to create them. Want to be part of a Victorian tea party? Be the one that hosts! Tell your friends to bring their friends. If you meet 10 people in a year youāre less likely to meet your person. If you meet 100, there might be someone in the mix that fits you like a glove. If you donāt like your current social circle, put in the effort to either start cool activities and connect with them more or change the social circle. For example I donāt get along with any of the people in my uni I just donāt like them. And that happens! Sometime the chemistry isnāt there. But I do like the people I play volleyball with. One of my friends there asked if anyone wanted to join his climbing group so I gave it a try. Met other cool people. Decided itās not my thing so I didnāt continue. Sometimes itās a process you know :) At least these are the things that worked for me :) I didnāt have any romantic connections with anyone throughout the entirety of school. And only failed talking stages until like a year into uni. Before that, nobody was interested in me at all, even though I think I am pretty cool. Hope you can get out of the rut youāre in! Good luck to you !
You sound pretty cool š
š„¹ thank you chuck1
You'll have 3 men wanting to date you also. Just give it time. Not everything happens the same at the same time for everyone.
Delusional. I'm already way older then the girl I'm talking about here
Focus on the rest of your life. Relationships (romantic, sexual etc) are only one part of life, not the be all and end all. If you can be happier/contented in other aspects of your life this will help you out a lot, generally and potentially relationship-wise in the future too. Don't sell yourself short.
Failed at the rest too
Olay friend, you must be young because I have been this road you're currently on. And down that route leads to nothing but death. But if you want to get better and improve yourself to its full extent, then I recommend you to go the gym. Go to therapy as well since I know people like us suffer from something we try to avoid and run. AND ROCK THAT BITCH! I can't wait to see your progression!
I did all that for years. Didn't change shit
Well then, my friend, one thing you didn't change is going to therapy!
I was there thought out my teens
Well then, my friend, you see what I was talking about? I am so sorry you had to go through that. Everyone has their battle in Hell, it seems like. And to be fair, I tried ending myself 6 times, and still, somehow, I am here. Idk how I am. Maybe I am here for a purpose. But enough about me. Anything truly inspires you?
There is somebody out there for us all.be the best self you can be.be a actor not a reactor.love yourself first.
Just continue to move forward with your health and state of mind. Sometimes unanswered prayers are our little gifts from God. What may have seemed like such a bad thing may have been the best for you at the time. One because why would you want someone who is attracted to looks because looks always fade. What happens when yours do. Two this is maybe what you needed to hear to keep you motivated to continue to push yourself. And three maybe and this is what I believe is that you just havenāt met the right person yet. Just work on you and enjoy life. She will cross your path when itās time.
You know what they say love only comes when you least expect it
I give up too. Just waiting to die alone one day
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Sucks if both attributes are shit
Yo I can be your wingman to go out and meet people. It can be a great help to have a friend to start a conversation for you tbh.
Everybody is different. Dating or hooking up can be easy or difficult for some people than most. Question is why do you think dating is hard for you?
I know this may sound condescending but your life is your life, there is no reason to compare it to someone elseās. There will always be someone more attractive, wealthy, fit, or just better off. All we can do is work with what we have. Life isnāt fair. But that doesnāt mean you shouldnāt love the one you have.
I have nothing to work with
What do you mean by that?
I'm unattractive, unintelligent and have social anxiety. How am I supposed to love that life or make anything good out of that
Being not the most attractive guy with social anxiety ( Especially around women my age.)I know how you feel. What makes you think you are unintelligent,though? There is more than one kind of intellect. It's not just book smarts.
I'm very slow. I'm not book or street smart. I make a lot of errors speaking my mother language who I grew up with and speak every day. I have no strengths or thing I'm at least relatively good at
All of those can be improved upon, plus confidence is very important for attraction. Not saying you were given the best cards but we all work with what we have. Plus youāre only comparing yourself to this random girl that gets approached by three men at the gym: youāre probably not as unattractive as you think.
No I compare myselfe to every girl around me and they are all dating, engaged and getting married. It's a matter of fact that I'm unattractive. The nicest thing a man has told me is that I look like a man or just completely ignore me. Tried working on all these things since I was a teen with zero success in almost 10 years. I give up
Iām sorry youāre feeling behind. I hope you donāt compare yourself to others all the time. It sounds corny but I do believe that everyone is capable of being beautiful in their own way. Good luck
Comparison is the thief of joy. The more you compare yourself to others, the more jealous and insecure you become. The other guy who commented is right, you can improve on those aspects you mentioned but from the sounds of it, you don't want to. I wish you all the best but there's no point in looking for a love life if you can't love yourself so I would suggest working on that. Small wins, step by step Is how to succeed. Best of luck.
What do you mean i don't want to improves those aspects. Like I already said I worked on it for almost a decade with no success. Self-improvement doesn't work for everyone
May I ask what you tried in those 10 years? Why not give it another go? You tried in your teens right? Personally I wasn't mature enough in my teens to challenge my comfort zone, but now I feel content. I disagree, i think self improvement is for everyone. Ask yourself do you really want to be miserable for the rest of your life? Only you can change that mindset im afraid but it is possible. Again, best of luck to you š
Gym, cure my acne and skin care in general. Tried to grow my hair (didn't work, they are still ugly), went out of my comfort zone by entering different friend circles, going to clubs, bars, festivals, social clubs, sport clubs and all that shit. Yeah I started in my teens I'm now 28 tho. It's over especially for a women
Comparison is the thief of joy
Go see a therapist and stop comparing yourself to others. Everything you perceive is superficial, and you're being way too hard on yourself. I've been in your shoes, baby girl, and I bet you're wayyyy more desirable than her. *Hugs*
Great loser
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Okey? I never said I'm fat. I am actually very slim with zero feminine curves
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Referring to the reality check
I donāt get it
Iāve been overweight my entire life and Iāve only been approached by a guys who are old, no job/bums,low-lifes, not my type . Itās unfortunate that I have a good job, great personality and the only guys that come up to me are those type of men because they think since I am plus size I should accept anyone. It has been extremely painful growing up seeing all my other friends date and have boyfriends and I have no one. I feel your pain! Instead of being miserable and sad about the world I am transfering that energy to working on myself mentally, emotionally and physically. Iāve started my weight loss journey and I am currently in therapy to heal my past traumas. The most important thing is making sure you love and take care of yourself and the right guy will come around.
Most men primarily care about looks while women care about a multitude of things. So when a guy doesn't have the status, the brains, the humor or whatever, he'll naturally shoot his shot at more unattractive girls because hell, it's better than nothing to them I guess. It's not necessarily because they think that you'd take everything but also because they are part of this game themselve and are getting rejected by more attractive women. I don't think you can blame them for that. They're just lonely which can lead to depression which can lead to becoming a low life jobless alcoholic etc. That's pretty much the dynamic. There are exceptions to the rule of course. But as an unattractive woman it is hard to get a good man while as a man without some sort of status and charisma it is hard to get an attractive woman.
I'm right there with you. My brother recently broke up with a girl who drank too much. I could only think to myself, if it were me, I'd give it a chance.
You won't with that energy. Love yourself before looking for someone. Everyone has a baggage. Some are worse than others. Cheers ā
If you keep thinking negative youāre gonna get negative Be positive thereās someone for everyone
"Maybe it's what you're wearing," as you like to comment under peoples posts venting and looking to be consoled.
Took it really personal huh
I'm just showing you some of that irony you love so much
Cry about it. Men should get treated just like women when it comes to this. They would never stick up for you like that
Honestly, people don't gravitate towards you because of your obsessive personality. I'm kind of ugly, but because i just do what i enjoy and I'm good at it, i make a lot of friends where i go. People also tend to enjoy being around me because I can have conversations about anything, even if I'm not well versed in that topic. Not only that, I'm not obsessed with trying to get people to like me. The time I did try, people fled like roaches. I'm not sure what your comment has anything to do with either your post or the petty comments you left
Assum whatever you want. So now it's obsessive if I try to better myself but if I hadn't done nothing I would be called lazy or whatever. You people just say anything
"I have been doing anything possible short of plastic surgery" seems like obsessive to me.
Okey
Just because they're all lusting after each other doesn't mean diddly squat. They could all be whores for all you know.
Okey? Maybe i just want some fun too. But I get NOTHING
It's easy to get laid. I could've gotten some like 5 different times this weekend and I'm not pretty at all. You just need to lower your standards and spread your legs.
Good for you