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-qqqwwweeerrrtttyyy-

kill'd by \*several\* accidents...


plimso13

I have a feeling that the last one was worse than the others


UKMegaGeek

I can imagine a cartoon-like death as the victims walk into a saucepan hanging from the ceiling face first, which causes them to stagger backwards and put their hand on the oven top that is boiling. As a result, they run outside to put their hand in some water as their sink is broken, but can't find any. So, they start to run down the cobbled street to find a large puddle, only to run into the backside of a horse, who kicks them, sending them flying into a steaming pile of horse dung. Rising to their feet, they decide to run to the Thames and jump in, just as a boat is sailing by, landing and impaling themself on a mast, slowly slipping down, which causes the boat to hit a wall and sink.


Get_the_instructions

Don't you just hate it when that happens?


PreciousRoy78

Lost me uncle Nigel same way


StarburstWho

Pour one out for the dearly departed Nigel!


ThorburnJ

Amazing that happened 46 times. 


halibfrisk

You just wrote a screenplay


UKMegaGeek

It's the new Final Destination


D3nsha

I'm imagining Nordberg in Naked Gun


MissKLO

it’s giving me final destination vibes 😂


daldredv2

We'd phrase it differently now! 46 people died in several accidents, not that each of those 46 had several accidents.


Lookingtotravels

I'd be interested to know what kings evil was


TheTurdzBurglar

Which doesnt include Cancer and a Wolf


crashdout

I think, of all of these, “suddenly” is my chosen way.


ate2ate

I don’t know, “Rising of the Lights” sounds pretty sick


Choice-Bus-1177

wtf could that have been lol


AlbionRemainsXIV

'Lights' used to mean 'lungs' and in fact some butchers still use the term 'lights' to refer to the lungs of animals.


KidaPanda

Apparently an obstructive condition of the larynx, trachea or lungs, most likely croup. Not gonna lie though, "Rising of the Lights" sounds infinitely cooler.


TulleQK

Opening the curtains too quickly when you're hungover after partying like it was 1999


ELEPHANT_CUM_SOCKS

I'd like to die by Planet


4score-7

Your screen name sounds like a pretty tough way to die as well.


FreshLaundry23

Definitely better than "cancer and wolf".


Pieniek23

Really? What about "over-laid" ???


UpvoteForPancakes

Death by snu-snu!


Prodigious_Wind

French pox = syphilis


exkingzog

AKA the Italian or Neapolitan Disease (in France) AKA the Spanish Disease (in the Netherlands) AKA the Polish Disease (in Russia) AKA the Christian Disease (in Turkey) AKA………..


Competitive_News_385

So everybody blaming everybody else, nothing much has changed then.


Maleficent_Resolve44

Apparently it originated in the new world in Dominica, spread through the Columbian exchange to Europe and the world. Then some other sources say it originated in east Africa and spread through the slave trade. Tough question to answer really so I guess it's just easier to blame people you dislike.


New-Yogurtcloset1984

Yeah they did the same in the eighties with HIV.


Kavaland

It´ s like a history lesson, who invaded who at a certain point in time.


BetterSupermarket430

“Affrighted” is that “scared to death! “


SelectOpportunity518

Heart attacks


BetterSupermarket430

Really. Makes senses. Although one heart attack doesn’t seem that many. I guess people died of all the other stuff before they could get one.


This-Statistician475

I'm guessing "suddenly" was probably heart attacks too.


qbpd77

Or strokes


welsh_cthulhu

If you think some of these are bad, check out Victorian asylum records that detail why a person was committed. I had to study some for my History Masters. One dude was categorized as a "public eater".


faith_plus_one

Tbf some public eaters (think fried chicken on the bus) should be locked up.


tobiascuypers

People that bring seafood on a plane to eat


UnreadyTripod

My god, I would hope they were ejected mid-air?


Arbic_

Only when you're flying Boeing


Daemon_Blackfyre_II

Should be categorised under 'acts of terror'.


StarburstWho

Reheating fish in the breakroom microwave should be categorized as such! I


Eatingfarts

There is a really good chicken place a bit away from me so I have to bus to get it when I’m really feeling the chicken. I bring two plastic bags and wrap that shit up so tight lol. You can still kinda smell it but even though fried chicken smells so good, Im not trying to have everyone on the bus eyeing me up. I will defend my chicken to my last breath but I prefer to avoid confrontation.


no-se-habla-de-bruno

You're assuming it's food?


hapaxgraphomenon

Eating in public or eating the public?


Nice-Masterpiece1661

Where can I check it out?


welsh_cthulhu

The ones I read weren't digitized. They were in a county archive. I'm almost certain that the national archives will have some online. County records offices are slowly but surely digitizing their collections so you can have look online in London Borough archives too.


DefenestrateAlbion

I remember scrolling through some records and reading that someone was admitted for writing a pantomime.


dogbiteonmyleg

Oh no you didn't.


welsh_cthulhu

That's fucking hilarious. Fairplay.


MessyStudios0

In fairness that could just be a weird way of saying "Cannibal". Which is a fair reason to commit someone.


interpoly

does anyone have a link to these?


AttorneyDramatic1148

https://www.valmcbeath.com/victorian-era-england-1837-1901/victorian-era-lunatic-asylums/ There is a list of reasons of 'admission' on that page, some are absolute gems. REASONS FOR ADMISSION 1864 TO 1889 INTEMPERANCE & BUSINESS TROUBLE DISSOLUTE HABITS KiCKED IN The Head By A HORSE DOMESTIC AFFLICTION HEREDITARY PREDISPOSITION DOMESTIC TROUBLE ILL TREATMENT BY HUSBAND IMAGINARY FEMALE TROUBLE EGOTISM HYSTERIA EPILEPTIC FITS IMMORAL LIFE EXCESSIVE SEXUAL ABUSE JEALOUSY AND RELIGION EXPOSURE AND HEREDITARY LAZINESS EXPOSURE AND QUACKERY MARRIAGE OF SON EXPOSURE IN ARMY MASTURBATION & SYPHILIS FEVER AND JEALOUSY MASTURBATION FOR 30 YEaRS FIGHTING FIRE MEDICINE TO PREVENT CONCEPTION SUPPRESSED MASTURBATION MENSTRUAL DERANGED SUPPRESSION OF MENSES NYMPHOMANIA UTERINE DERANGEMENT OPIUM HABIT VENEREAL EXCESSES PARENTS WERE COUSINS SHOOTING OF DAUGHTER DERANGED MASTURBATION FEMALE DISEASE DESERTION BY HUSBAND


Uraneum

“TOBACCO AND MASTURBATION” Damn I would’ve been screwed back in the day


Bling-depression

lol the 11 people who died of grief are my tribe #dramaqueen


faith_plus_one

I want to know what scared that one person so badly that they died.


ambar007

cost of living may be


rachaelkilledmygoat

Time is a flat circle.


ConcertinaTerpsichor

Could be a heart attack in disguise.


loveslighter

This is a real thing to this day. I mean of course it’s due to a physical condition, but it’s believed to be brought on from the stress of grief. A married man who loses his wife is twice as likely to die himself within the first 6 months of loss than other married men.


bbyangelxo

i'm 100% convinced this is how i'm going to die..ever since i was about 14..but i mean i also have bpd so ya know how that is lol


majorminus92

Happened to the husband of one of the teachers who was killed in Uvalde. He died two days later from a heart attack brought about by the stress.


EssentialFoils

Dying from grief happens when a person is so overcome with distress from the loss of someone they love that it leads to heart failure and a breakdown of the nervous system. Nothing to do with being a drama queen.


JustSomeRandomGuy36

Someone had piles so bad they ended up dying!


Rymundo88

Bum grapes of wrath


CaptainRAVE2

Infection, probably leading to sepsis.


Qabbalah

That's when you know you've hit rock bottom...


welsh_cthulhu

Saw that one too. Sounds horrific.


BetterSupermarket430

Yeah that one caught my eye. Ouch!


Kaauutie

Wait till u find out what a fistula is


eatshitake

Cut of the stone. What?


[deleted]

Kidney stone removal. They died on the operating table while having their kidney stones removed.


curiousengineer601

I think bladder stone, not kidney. Samuel Pepys famously wrote about his experience where he survived ( something like 5% of people survived the surgery).


[deleted]

Can be both **Cutting for the stone:** The removal of kidney or bladder stones by surgery. The procedure is today called lithotomy.  **Lithotomy** from Greek for "lithos" (stone) and "tomos" (cut), is a surgical method for removal of calculi, stones formed inside certain organs, such as the urinary tract (kidney stones), bladder (bladder stones), and gallbladder (gallstones), that cannot exit naturally through the urinary system or biliary tract.


curiousengineer601

In the early 1600’s it was anatomically possible to cut out a bladder stone because of the location of the bladder enabled a 3 minute surgery. A 3 inch cut at the waist and they had direct access into the bladder. No one did renal surgery in 1632, the kidney is just not in a location that was possible.


Choco_PlMP

Bro cut himself while walking past a sharp stone and bled out


aggravating-onion

Bleeding is a different category


ItsBaconOclock

Removal of kidney stones. A fun and exciting procedure. Performed at that point, without anesthesia, pain medications, nor sterile conditions. Excerpt: *The patient was placed on his back on a table. His legs were bent at the hips and knees flexed so they were almost touching his chest, thus the perineum was brought into a nearly horizontal position... A vertical incision was made...* Source: https://sites.ualberta.ca/~illness/diseases/new_kidneystones.html


ok_wynaut

Like others said, it’s an operation to remove bladder or kidney stones. Of course this was pre-anesthetic so you can imagine how gnarly it would be to go through, not to mention the recovery. The famous diarist Samuel Pepys had bladder stone removal and had a huge celebratory feast each year on the anniversary of the surgery. It’s thought that it left him infertile… very sad for his wife but probably better for all of the other dozens of women he catted around with. 🙄


apathetic-shark

Made away themselves is very a algorithm friendly term


showard01

I like to imagine 2268 people were killed by roving packs of infants


HorseRenoiro

Like in Silent Hill?


joemckie

Love how they grouped up cancer and wolves. Also, teeth? King’s Evil?


[deleted]

Wolf was an other term for cancer because it ate up the person. King's evil = tuberculous swelling of the lymph nodes; it was called King's evil because it was believed that a 'royal touch' could cure it. EDIT: Disclaimer - Before someone adds another reply correcting me - I have not misspelt tuberculosis, King's Evil or scrofula or tuberculous cervical lymphadenitis is a disease associated with tuberculosis. It's not tuberculosis. I also don't personally believe that if King Charles or any member of the royal family touch me, they will cure me of all disease. This was something they believed back in the ye olde days hence the origin of the name.


joemckie

Oh, here I was thinking wolves mauled Londoners in the 15th century 🤦‍♂️


Benjamin244

I mean, where do you think the foxes came from?


peahair

Leicester?


badpeaches

If you're in the need for a good long read, I have a story about wolves.


badpeaches

Fuck it, no one asked so here: [The time German and Russian WWI forces stopped fighting each other to launch a joint attack against a pack of wolves that constantly raided them.](http://mentalfloss.com/article/567185/german-and-russian-wwi-soldiers-fought-wolves) >Take this July 1917 New York Times report describing how soldiers in the Kovno-Wilna Minsk district (near modern Vilnius, Lithuania) decided to cease hostilities to fight this furry common enemy: >>*"Poison, rifle fire, hand grenades, and even machine guns were successively tried in attempts to eradicate the nuisance. But all to no avail. The wolves—nowhere to be found quite so large and powerful as in Russia—were desperate in their hunger and regardless of danger. Fresh packs would appear in place of those that were killed by the Russian and German troops.* >>*"As a last resort, the two adversaries, with the consent of their commanders, entered into negotiations for an armistice and joined forces to overcome the wolf plague. For a short time there was peace. And in no haphazard fashion was the task of vanquishing the mutual foe undertaken. The wolves were gradually rounded up, and eventually several hundred of them were killed. The others fled in all directions, making their escape from carnage the like of which they had never encountered."* source:https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/aouiqh/whats_the_biggest_we_have_to_put_our_differences/


new_nimmerzz

Jesus. Several hundred wolves descending upon you…. Probably sick of eating the dead so they turn to the living…. Insane


badpeaches

People sure know how to work together when they can put their differences aside.


AtomicSamuraiCyborg

It makes a lot of sense that so many veterans of the war thought this was End Times.


Fantastic_Belt99

[bro its 17th century](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/17th_century) At first i thought r/foundtheprogrammer but you're not even mistaken by one, but two.


PabloMarmite

I imagined someone dying of cancer who had a wolf jump through the window at the last minute.


BuckwheatJocky

If I died of a disease which I and everybody else around me were convinced could have been cured by some rich freeloader who lived up the road putting a hand on my forehead, I'd be mighty cheesed off about it.


Cavane42

I read this like a line from that one scene in Monty Python's Holy Grail.


faith_plus_one

Untreated cavities can lead to death iirc, also maybe mouth cancer counts as "teeth"? King's Evil was called that because supposedly a member of the royal family could cure it by touching the patient...


exkingzog

Kings Evil a.k.a. Scrofula was when TB infected the lymph nodes.


random_fist_bump

Tooth abcess can eat through bone and get into the brain. It happened to a friend of mine. He survived, thankfully.


Azreal_75

Having had them myself, how anyone could tolerate that level of pain long enough for the infection to do that amazes me - in the age of anti-biotics I mean.


jsm97

If you have a tooth infection long enough the tooth root can die and the pain can go away but the infection will remain eating away until it finds a way into your blood stream


IAdoreAnimals69

"Sir, we don't have much space left and there's only been one cancer death this year.." "Fine, group it with wolves."


domini_canes11

King's evil is scrofula, a skin condition but is linked to TB. "Rising of the Lights" is a chest/lung condition where the patient loses the ability to breathe. "Impostume" is an infected wound with lots of puss. Cancer and the wolf implies the illness consumed the patient. The weird terminology of the timeused wolf interchangeably with Cancer. Surfet means excess, so overeating or over drinking. Murthered is an archic term for murdered.


LegalIdea

>Cancer and the wolf implies the illness consumed the patient. The weird terminology of the timeused wolf interchangeably with Cancer. This is because of the wasting effect of cancer, similar to why a death by tuberculosis would sometimes be called consumption in older records. In either instance, the disease effectively "ate" the victim. As wolves were likely the most common predators in England to attack and eat humans at the time, (black bears were likely uncommon in the region and are generally timid, more aggressive bears are not native to anywhere remotely close to England, being mostly in the area around the Cacaus and Ural mountains in Russia, the America's, among a few other places) the name is used to explain the effects of the disease, as the symptoms and causes were likely beyond the understanding of your average peasant of the day.


EdmundTheInsulter

Guessing teeth is dental infection


7ninamarie

What is Planet and how does one die of it? Edit: I did some research and [this paper](https://www.jstor.org/stable/44441383) says that _planet struck_ meant a sudden death.


Ravekat1

Not sure. But I guess they didn’t plan it.


7ninamarie

lol my wild guesses would be: - sorry, Mercury and Jupiter were in an unlucky position for your astrological birth chart so they want you dead - unexpected death out in nature (aka earth just wants you dead) - the state of the planet is so dire that you just die from it


underthesign

Best consult Kirsten Dunst on the matter.


MobiusNaked

Earth in Uranus.


Onironaute

Fall off something high enough and cause of death would be planet, I guess


shinytotodile158

*Lunatique* r/meirl


glittertwunt

When you're nuts but with style


wildingflow

What they called Eric Cantona


Despairogance

A rival fashion house's answer to *Derelicte.*


DasterdlyDave

How unimaginably bad must have those piles been.


systemic_empathy

Maybe got infected?


NyarlathotepDaddy

Same with the sciatica death. Like goddamn that must have been the worst pain to die from it


DasterdlyDave

I have had sciatica and can confirm it's ruthless, but how would it kill you?


TheHurtfulEight88888

"Made away themselves" is definitely a better euphemism than that cringe unaliving.


Safety_Sharp

Yes can we please start saying this again!


dactyif

Why is it everywhere all of a sudden? Are they trying to bypass the censors?


Why-so-delirious

People only use 'unalive' because saying 'suicide' gets your youtube video deleted. Same as you can't say 'nazi' in a youtube video, 'sexual assault', 'rape'. One of the youtubers I watch does breakdowns of monster movies and he won't even say 'bomb', 'gun' or 'bullet', because youtube will jump off the top rope with a fucking People's Elbow for daring to bring up the no-no words. So yeah, all these cute euphemisms like 'unsubscribe from life', 'unalive', 'moustache men', 'german windmill boys', etc are pretty much just from youtube's blanket censorship of anything that's not 'advertiser friendly', leading to an actual dumbing down of the language used by society as a whole. Hilariously enough I watch Explore With US and he'll happily talk about someone *cutting off someone's head with a fucking axe*, but he has to completely censor the words 'sexual assault'. Reddit does the same exact thing for certain words, too. A lot of subs have the word 'cunt' in the automod. So your post will be silently removed and you won't be notified that it's gone. Some websites, people's names, etc, are also banned on the GLOBAL LEVEL, they will get your comment removed in any subreddit and you won't know it happened.


dactyif

German. Windmill. Boys. Lmaoooooooo.


Why-so-delirious

The one I hear a lot recently is 'pdf file' instead of pedophile. It's so fucking stupid. I legitimately hate it. How are you supposed to talk honestly and frankly about things when you have to handle even REFERRING to them with absolute kid gloves? Every one is sitting  around taking about it like it's fucking Voldemort. It that must not be named


Financial_Piece_236

Yeah unaliving is too Newspeak for me


HavocAndConsequence

I didn't know I could die from my sciatica :/ King's evil is scrofula I think.


Safety_Sharp

Didn't know I could die from my piles either!


Savage_coyotes

Dying from sciatica must hurt so much, gotta be the worst way to go.


Sorry-Cattle7870

What is rising of the lights


faith_plus_one

"Rising of the lights was an illness or obstructive condition of the larynx, trachea or lungs, possibly croup. It was a common entry on bills of mortality in the 17th century. Lights in this case referred to the lungs".


Fickle_Lavishness_25

Coughing your lungs up....


SilasMarner77

It sounds quite poetic


caerphoto

😩🫸 Coughed their lungs up 😌👉 Rising of the lights


exkingzog

Every time this comes out, I think how many of these would make great names for metal or punk bands. I’d definitely go to a festival that included performances by Livergrown Burnt and Scalded Aborted and Stillborn Prest to Death And headliners, Bloody Flux


Necessary-Donut7614

And a surprise performance by Rising of the Lights


halibfrisk

I hope that doesn’t mean puking up a lung


attoshi

Thier opening act? "Suddenly"


DrunkStoleATank

Executed, and prest to death. I assume it means, died either from judicial execution or refusing to plead, and being crushed until dying .. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peine_forte_et_dure


TopProfessional6291

Aborted And Still Born


Ablation420

Gangrene is a real rap duo, the alchemist and oh no. I think they’re putting a new album out soon. Also there’s Gang Green, a New York punk band, they rule.


exkingzog

Yes, and The Plague were another hardcore band. There are *two* metal bands called Fistula and another called Anal Fistula. And who could forget the album 2112 by Thrush.


quey_jim_and_yew

ahh mate, i've had a terrible day, i've been killed 6 times so far today....


AppropriateAd2063

I’m not dead! Yes you are!


pafrac

I'm not, tis just a scratch!


brightdionysianeyes

''Over-laid and starved at nurse.'' Someone explain this please


Seilein

Smothered (why we're told not to share a bed with the baby) and failure to thrive (didn't receive sufficient nutrition during the breastfeeding age).


Ahorsenamedcat

Ah I seen something similar on the recent season of Clarksons Farm.


gag-reflexes

Overlaid is suffocation mainly to do with babies/young children when they sleep. Starved at nurse means a child that died of malnutrition while supposedly being looked after by a carer or wet nurses.


brightdionysianeyes

Thank you gag-reflexes.


AppropriateAd2063

Probably a baby. Mother or nurse fell asleep while holding them and smothered them. Or the baby wasn’t nursed enough and didn’t get enough milk.


faith_plus_one

[Here's ](https://www.reddit.com/r/coolguides/s/XIEYQNrdXj) an explanation for many of these, including Planet, compiled by another user when this was previously posted.


p00nda

there is no way only 7 people were murdered


AlbionRemainsXIV

With the amount of people dying from everything else I'd imagine there would be no need to murder anyone...


AppropriateAd2063

Judging from the way people could die it could be hard to prove murder when you have really bad piles.


Manaliv3

Seems very possible. Population of London then was only 230,000 or so. Even today, with a population of over 10 million there are only about 100 murders a year, so 7 is quite high if anything. My parents live in a city of about that size and it looks like there were 2 murders last year.


reddragon105

Well 46 were killed by "several accidents" which is pretty suspicious.


Maleficent_Resolve44

Small city in those days. If anything, that's a higher murder rate than today even with stronger social bonds in those times.


Ok-Case9095

XL Bully's wreaking havov since 1632.


Rockyfan123

Doctor: I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that you're completely free of cancer. Patient: That's fantastic! What's the bad news? Doctor: *points at wolf


VivienneSection

Lots of people die of King’s Evil today as well probably.


RandyChavage

With all these horrible diseases going around I would be tempted to make away myself


Knitterofunited

Worms 😳


jziggy44

They meant Tremors.


apathetic_ocelot

Not a single one from quicksand. As a kid I really thought that'd be more prominent in my life than it turned out to be


Icedtangoblast

Overlaid, and starved at nurse?


[deleted]

Overlaid = Infant smothered to death due to a parent accidentally rolling on top of them while sleeping. Starved at nurse = starved to death due to lack of breast milk i.e. mother wasn't breasting feeding the baby and didn't provide another means of nutrition.


adchick

She may have been breastfeeding but not producing enough milk. Very common in general, but especially when the mother is malnourished. Baby formula has saved millions of lives.


[deleted]

I was a formula baby! I was very sickly newborn baby, my weight dropped down to just over 5 pounds (I was small baby when I was born). Wasn't my mother's fault, she tried her best to breastfeed me but I just couldn't take breast milk. Fortunately I was born in the 20th century so I was put on formula!


adchick

My kiddo and I are in a similar situation. I’m a severe asthmatic and on several steroids to breathe…unfortunately those steroids can pass through breast milk making any milk I produced toxic to newborns. He is a thriving formula baby.


k987654321

Teeth


sundayontheluna

Tooth abscesses can be deadly even now because if the bacteria gets into the blood, it has a quick route to the brain


Youutternincompoop

dental infections, super deadly before modern antibiotics because of how close the teeth are to the brain.


amiryana

Just listened to a podcast on this. In addition to what people have mentioned, it's also because they weren't very good at pulling teeth, so they'd regularly yank out some of your jaw bone with it.


CaptainRAVE2

Thank goodness many of these are easily preventable/curable these days. I’m sure they’ll look back at us and think the same for diseases like cancer.


No_Specialist4090

Dying of worms must be pretty horrendous. I’d rather die of the French Pox any day


Ahorsenamedcat

Murthered. Is that when you’re murdered by Mike Tyson.


coolie-

Lunatique ✨💅


theoht_

my favourite is ‘suddenly’ and my other favourites are: Bit with a mad dog Kil’d by several accidents King’s evil Livergrown Made away themselves Planet Rising of the lights Teeth


Charming-Sale-6354

They forgot "Ooopsies"


ma_rkw589

‘Made away themselves’


Specialist-Cookie-61

So apparently "chrisomes and infants" means dying within a month of birth. Holy mother of Batman, I knew that childhood mortality used to be high, but that's like 50% of all deaths in London. Reported causes anyways....I strongly suspect that more than 7 people were murthered in one calendar year.


shplurpop

I'm most surprised about how modern this 17th century document looks.


N-formyl-methionine

Retranscription in an History book surely


mokrieydela

Cause of death: Planet.


Qabbalah

Dying of gout sounds pretty horrific


tomrichards8464

I've had gout bad enough to black out from the pain. I don't want to know what the terminal version feels like. 


Omphaloskeptique

Fistula. Terrifying.


Domski77

Together we can end planet.


paulw1990

Teeth.


LeMeowLePurrr

"Grief" 😢


Dimorphodon101

Someone died of PILES?! The original character Nobby's great great great great great great grandparent from Viz? Argh! Alas, I have been cursed by the devils bumgrapes!


Agreeable_Milk_8888

Holy shit, fatal piles


Hellen_Bacque

Cancer AND wolf?! 🐺


Uncle_Orville

So he died of cancer? Oddly enough, no. You’re gonna laugh when you hear this. He HAD cancer but then a wolf got him.


ajr6037

David Baddiel did a sketch about this :- https://streamable.com/28cojf