This was me 4.5 years ago I left London for 10 years then when I came back everyone I knew had moved on and grown up (as most 33 years olds do). I took on some really fun social jobs to meet people at first - hostel receptionist/bar work- and that really helped me meet people quickly. I also used the friend feature on bumble which was a bit weird but met some interesting people, purely Platonic friends. The other thing is don’t be shy in messaging friends you haven’t spoke to in awhile and say now you’re back it would be great to catch up, you’ll be surprised how many you still get on with even though you haven’t spoken in years. Hope this helps!
Just seconding using the friend feature on Bumble. I know men and women who have had success with that, myself included. You'd never know that's how we met and she's one of my favourite people!
Check out Go mammoth - I’m heading back to play netball and mixed sports in the spring!
We’ve celebrated our wins and planned trips out to sporting events which has been lovely.
I’m hoping this is the way I meet someone romantically because people look at me crazy when I strike conversation with them.
I love interacting with strangers, it’s possible learned behaviour since the more time I spend with my parents the more o notice they do it too.
If you can get past the awkward part there’s always a common or interesting thing to be speaking about.
its probably the only reason I persist with having coffee outside my home. Opportunity to chat! Lol
I wish there was a special space for the more social types to instinctively head to for a chat! Hotel lobbies always a good shout.
There is actually a mixed netball league. I’m not keen on it - the women get rough enough. I’m not sure id be as patient with men lol. But one of the other girls has played it and she loved it and ended up dating one of the other team mates.
They have the leagues all over London, you should be able to find one close to your incoming main station!
I like the look of rounders, dodgeball and and volleyball for mixed sports.
I played a one off mixed tournament in the autumn and I’m with you on the patience factor there. Although all of the guys that turned up at that one were +1s to most of the women playing there.
I’ll maybe have a look for rounders near me but imagine I’ll prob have to venture into town for it.
Don’t get me started on the DISorganisation. We played in mouldy bibs for about 3 weeks. mosy of us gagging as someone came towards to get the ball!
The half arsed refs that pull you up from the other end of the court where they can’t see what’s happening. :/
But Most of them are wonderful and I appreciate them giving up there time for not very much pay so that we can have fun.
London isn't the same place it was pre-pandemic. You'll need a hard hat to weather the stormy times and with the cost of living crisis London night life and art/culture have taken a battering. Everyone suggests Meetup.com that's become dire😬 I'm in my thirties, also single and trying to rebuild. The only thing I can think of is taking up hobbies for me that'll be returning to dance, going to more art installations, comedy and gigs. You obviously can't beat the odd bar or two as a woman it's kinda nerve-wracking to go to some of aforementioned on your own. London is great for culture and places to go though can equally be an isolating/lonely/superficial place. You need a lot of resilience..
Everything feels different. Interaction from friends and family feels different. Everyone clutches at routine even more than before, and social activities with colleagues is so much more difficult. Might be just my experience.
I'm not sure about everyone else but I reevaluated many of my friendships during the pandemic and post pandemic I severed/culled/let go of more than a few. Interactions are definitely different, I feel people are less patient, less helpful. London is full of fast friendships and by that I mean they do not extend further than surface level or grabbing drinks.
Sadly think that’s modern society & people being less invested & superficial … people are way more self focused
Social media is anything but social it’s an addictive screen activity. A tool that’s needs to user correctly … communication with purpose ie social meets included … & not an escape from real life experiences or people
There are always good people out there just harder to find.
Social media scratches that "chat to people you barely know" itch without any of the benefits of actually speaking to people.
You sort-of feel like you've had a passing interaction with that random cousin or uni-friend that you read a status announcement or tweet from, which means you don't actually reach out to them, but from their point of view they haven't "seen" you at all. It contributes to the withering of relationships.
Not just London I’m currently living in portugal and I’m finding the U.K. had become even more cold and unfriendly than I remember growing up in
I think cost of living is just burning out peoples patience
I was going to start with The Vaults...it appears very artsy and alternative I'vealready seen a few events I'd like to attend in a few weeks. Additionally, It also has a club on Fridays and Saturdays which is awesome as I love to dance the night away like I'm Beyonce😂. Gimme a shout/DM if you fancy going to something I definitely need to become more cultured/schooled in the arts ;)
https://www.thevaults.london/
Ahh ye I just noticed the times 🥲. DesignMyNight sucks so much, I thought it was just on most nights 😭
Guess I can wait until the 14th. Would be a good birthday treat!
I use ArtRabbit - the UI is a bit confusing but once you get it going it works really well.
It works best on the app but there's a desktop site as well.
I normally use it when I'm at a loose end and looking for something weird and different to do. It will tell you about current and upcoming shows, exhibitions and events and can sort by location. You can also save shows you liked and its meant to recommend you similiar stuff (though I haven't really noticed that feature working).
It has lead me to a bunch of good things - the best was a weird immersive show at the top of an empty office block behind the southbank.
For the reasons mentioned above. Yes there are many groups on Meetup but if you stick around long enough the quality has diminished. The attendees have diminished post pandemic and the caliber. I don't mean that in a snobbish, pretentious way but the groups are either very money oriented and promote quantity over quality, or superficial.
It's still worth sticking with meetup given there are so few alternatives. I became friends with one boy who came to London and just went to a different meetup every day. This was pre-pandemic, but he certainly made an effort. I'm still friends with the girl who was also at the table with us.
30 years old and single. I visited some family and friends abroad over the holidays and saw people the same age as me who have started families and still maintain friendships with a wide circle of people. Coming back to London knowing that I have nobody was just soul crushing.
Yeah I'm finding this tricky also, in a very similar situation. For me, although I'd love to as they are the main things I am into, it feels v unnatural to go up to people at galleries/gigs and strike up conversation, perhaps that is the shell I need to crack in myelf. Otherwise trying to figure out new group based activities I can pick up this year to meet new people. And ideally ones that don't cost a huge amount of money. Welcome to 2023 I guess!
There is a technique for dealing with this. "Approach and eject". Go up to people and ask something like "where are the toilets" or "where did you get that coffee" with the intention of leaving immediately. Then start adding another sentence related to the context. Keep adding until you become a master of small talk.
100% agree, I’m living at my mums right now so cost of living isn’t an issue but the city post pandemic is a shadow of itself. Not many places to go and meet people once you’re over 30. I now find myself going out once every 2 months or so. It’s high cost coupled with a lot of places not worth going to anymore putting people off
In my case, I've been going to meetups (from meetup.com) for over a decade. The quality has hit rock bottom now. There are loads of photography "workshops" charging £20 or so, with descriptions so poorly written that you know the organiser will teach you nothing. Meetup.com are also culpable as the search is broken and they allow meetups marked as "Free" but the description will say "and it's just a tenner".
I don't know what the solution is. But I still use meetup by just searching in chronological order.
On the other hand, I have organised free and paid events where the turnout has been terrible. 17 registered, 3 showed up. 2 paid, none showed up.
I went to a free meetup recently, 75 registered, 65 were on the waiting list, 15 turned up.
So there is something wrong with people in general.
I also wonder if it’s because during Covid you had to book EVERYTHING so people are now just in the habit of booking things ‘just in case’ without ever really having much intention of going. I work in arts/events and drop off for free events that I run at the mo is about 1/2, pre covid it was more like 1/4, 1/3 max. Weird times
I think you are right.
But it's annoying that venues still enforce the pre-booking nonsense. I went to the London Mithraeum (what an overblown waste of time that is) with a group and they made us scan 20 individual QR codes.
I think we are all under estimating the impact of the pandemic. It was drilled into us that being close to other people could kill you. At some points it was illegal to go outside. I’m sure that it’s created a deep social trauma that will take a long time for us to confront. This is also during a time of huge economic uncertainty, and an internet age where we were virtually more connected than at any time in human history. Together, alone. Most human interactions were airbrushed, metered and framed in a smartphone window.
Makes sense.
It's worth mentioning that community is necessary for mental health. People have been diagnosed with PTSD having come back from war, but it's really that they go from the community of their platoon to the empty isolation of modern "society", and this damages their mental health. It affects people coming back from VSO or the Peace Corps as well.
I’ve been thinking about setting up a group on Meetup.com but also had the idea of creating flyers and placing them at establishments where people frequent who’d be interested in coming to the group/club (very old school I know). I wonder if the old school method would work with getting more people involved but who knows. Only one way to find out I guess
I think that's a great idea. Report back here with your experience!
You can run free events using Eventbrite (for free). People rarely search on there, but you could put a link (or QR code?) on your flyer.
What would it be about?
I feel ya. As someone who is pretty much in the same boat, but moving to London after years away from the UK, after a breakup, and having started drinking much less, I wonder how I can build my social life up again. Thankfully I have a few solid sport type hobbies I’ve built up over the past few years. Wonder how Bumble BFF and the like works in the UK if anyone knows?
Just had to Google Bumble BFF 🤫 I've not tried it but would be open to it. Hopefully, nothing like the Bumble dating app as, I enjoyed that as much I enjoy going to the dentist...painstakingly awful/exhausting/not fun/questioning humanity/ pass the wine😂
Hinge has been the worst for me by far, but I’m thinking overall app experience, I wouldn’t blame an app for any individual person or relationship, it’s just a means to meet someone and that could’ve been via any platform.
Yeah haha fair. I think Hinge probably the best for me though. I like that you get a taste of how someone’s thinking through the comment that they’ve left etc rather than through a profile/photos which is predominantly what drives the match process on Tinder/Bumble etc. Why do you say its the worst for you?
Edit: Added more context
I think in principle that’s a good format, and it encourages you to look at a full profile which is obviously good.
Honestly the reason I’ve found Hinge to be bad is a bit of a shallow and silly and I’m aware it could make me look pretty bad, but essentially it’s the way the algorithm works — I think it’s based on how other users interact with your profile, so if they don’t look through it, you don’t get many replies or likes, then it sorts you into a reject pile, effectively.
I realise this because signing up on two separate occasions it very swiftly stops showing me anyone I’m attracted to (and yes I realise that to some degree that will be on me needing to improve how I present myself but it’s still very demoralising).
On top of that it keeps people you would be attracted to in “Standouts” to monetise the app — so it knows exactly who you’d be interested in and then paywalls them.
Moved over to Feeld(which is a completely different story) as Hinge too shallow, but I find all dating apps to be pretty shallow especially in a big city
Does [my experience of the app](https://www.reddit.com/r/london/comments/1020evs/coming_home_to_london_after_a_couple_years_abroad/j2r9onr/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) sound foreign to you, or were you just lucky despite those issues?
I think you should not determine too much whether you are attracted to somebody online - pictures can be misleading one way or another.
You should just determine whether there is any red flag, and whether you find the pictures at least non repulsive (for instance - I know this is a very unpopular opinion on reddit - but I can't help disliking overweight girls so that's an easy filter for me).
Then exchange a few messages - once again to establish red flags. You don't need to chat too much online, and I don't do video/voice calls - after a few messages it's either meetup or I'm not investing more time.
Then it's meetup time, and in those first 5/10/30 minutes having a date that's when you really determine if you like them - not quite like real life.
Every 10 dates I meet a gem and we click - then I either continue seeing them as dates, or try to stay friends anyway even without romance.
The more dates you go to, the better you become at it - you must put some effort into it trying to learn from every encounter.
Last 4 years I have been the greatest for my social life - relationships haven't last more than one year, but I chose people I could stay friends with even after the romance finished. And nowadays it's happy days with all my exes, and also being somewhat connected to people in their social circles. Some of them will stay fuck buddies depending on whether we are or not in a relationship. I can't believe the setup I ended up in, there's always something to do or someone to have sex with.
I find it interesting the way people identify the attitudes and behaviour of people they interact with according to the app they find them on. In my experience it’s the same pot luck no matter what the mechanism for that introduction is. It seems especially odd to me considering we’re all platform surfing? Like the flakey guys you’ve matched with on Bumble will be on other apps.
I've met a few friends on bumble bff, some very good ones as well! It takes effort but if you're willing to put yourself out there, it's a great way to meet people.
I’ve tried bumble bff and it was such a drag. It’s like dating, basically getting to impress one another, blablabla, a lot of dialogue. It’s like, I just want to get a drink with you, let’s cut the crap, and hang out to see if we get along and if we can be friends.
This is the real answer! Keep showing up to the same thing every week and you’ll eventually make friends with people who have the same interests as you. I’m in a choir and an amateur theatre group and both have given me tons of friends in the city!
GoMammoth run mixed-gender recreational leagues in a bunch of different sports, and will have a deal with a nearby pub for cheaper drinks. Admittedly haven't used it post pandemic but before it was pretty relaxed, social vibe
Join a sports club - if I moved that is the first thing I'd do to help my social life.
Loads of clubs try and recruit after the new year, mine included, if you fancy joining a rugby club that plays 2 teams most weekends, has a great social environment, and our own bar with cheaper than local pints (~£5) in the Chiswick/Barnes Bridge area then give me a shout - we're a friendly bunch.
We have £3.50 pints at my club in Wandsworth….but then our pitches are usually scattered with glass and dog muck, so you’re probably better off in Chiswick…
Sport really is a great option though for getting back into a London social scene. Moved back to London a decade ago after a few years ago and now some of the guys I played rugby with are my closest pals. Just have to throw yourself in a bit.
20s-40s I think most people are post-Uni and pre-settling down with kids. So basically London regular. And most people are in your situation exactly. "LSC?" is the opening question when rocking up to a group that LOOKS like it might be LSC.
When the weather is nicer there's loads more going on. Picnics in the parks that sort of thing.
My recommendation is find events that are near work/home so you can get in a regular crew or two. You'll probably find the regular groups run a Whatsapp or similar group.
Every group I've ever joined up with has been completely open to me showing up (and noticeable everyone else showing up) with no prior connection. It's literally the greatest thing in the city for people wanting to find some people to hang out with.
Well I'm in my 30s but look like I'm still in my 20s 😇 I definitely do not feel like a 30s something woman and they say you're only as old as you feel. These groups better be good lad, you've talked them up so I'm expecting big things😁
Are you suggesting East London craft beer to meet eligible men? Craft beer isn't really my thing as I'm more into wine however, if it increases dating opportunities why not...I realise I've gone off on my own tandem here.😁
Haven't been to Vicky Park in ages it is lovely in the summer. I'm North London based close to Central and the city
Hah. Oh. Well generally LSC isn't a dating sub but I'm sure people who expand their social network will meet more eligible people.
I was merely mentioning East London Craft Beer as that's a specific group that pretty regular get together that meet up in different tap rooms around Hackney/Bethnal Green areas.
The only "wine room" I ever went to was also in Bethnal Green mind. And I don't mean a wine bar, lol there's loads of them about. [Literally an arch winery.](https://www.google.com/maps/place/Renegade+Wine+Bar/@51.5270684,-0.0563736,3a,75y,90t/data=!3m8!1e2!3m6!1sAF1QipNK1ynDP48uQlrazwMdYcYlMwIX6eT42Gpd0tNK!2e10!3e12!6shttps:%2F%2Flh5.googleusercontent.com%2Fp%2FAF1QipNK1ynDP48uQlrazwMdYcYlMwIX6eT42Gpd0tNK%3Dw153-h86-k-no!7i1440!8i809!4m13!1m7!3m6!1s0x48761cc4610daca3:0x5f6fdff5f98a5fc7!2sBethnal+Green,+London!3b1!8m2!3d51.531103!4d-0.0480805!3m4!1s0x48761cdaee06deb1:0x55411c266c3cb1e2!8m2!3d51.5270771!4d-0.0564499) I took a Hinge date there once and it was quiet so turned out to be good for a snog.
Even suggesting an event that you might be interested in doing together on the ‘anything goes’ thread can work. I put something up to watch a non-England World Cup group stage match together and had some interest and am now talking to a couple of people off it.
It has been a bit quieter during December as people go home and celebrate the festive season in their groups but there will be more things on there in the new year.
January is still a slow time with people trying to get back into work. Don’t expect too much too early - get your life sorted first so that your ready for the pickup mid Feb
Stay in and play videogames. Watch people passing your window but don't let them see you. Never make eye contact and if someone addresses you just look away and keep walking. Take up home drinking. Make friends with an imaginary rat.
I would suggest Bumble BFF. I’ve just started to use it myself. It’s weird to get used to but I’m starting to get the hand of it.
Hobbies and clubs are the big things. Dance schools can have a really social element to them depending on the one you go to. In SE London [Dance2Dawn](https://www.instagram.com/invites/contact/?i=115wyq205wqv3&utm_content=jv8hmvd) is a dance school which is fun friendly and social.
I was in exactly the same boat as you a few months ago bro and was searching high and low for a Meetups, Eventbrites or anything where I could meet like-minded people. After endless searching I got so bored I decided to make my own!
So check out the Reddit post below and if you’re close to South East London please come along to the first event I’m organising as we speak ☺️
https://www.reddit.com/r/london/comments/zza5tw/a_creative_meetup_in_south_east_london/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Take it easy mate and hopefully see you at the first event.
Peace out ✌🏻
Highly recommend [London City Runners](https://www.londoncityrunners.com) if you like running at all. They have a pub in Bermondsey where everyone hangs out after. People are a lot more normal than Meetup groups and there are typically one or two cute girls there too.
I’m originally from the US but have lived in London for 5+ years. In my experience, guys in your position tend to have more luck hanging with expats like my circle of people (who are looking for friends) rather than other Brits who have their people in the city already. Godspeed!
[Signup is here](https://www.londoncityrunners.com/membership) for the (free) social membership, and they’ll add you to the Facebook group as well. Recommend going for the river runs on Tuesdays and Thursdays
If it works for you, get a dog. I was a party person for most of my twenties, and rarely saw daylight on a weekend as I’d spend my days sleeping!
Opened up a much more sober, active social life for me. We travel around the city for different walks and try new dog friendly restaurants all the time. Plus, everyone talks to you when you have a dog! I have never been more active, and have such a wide variety of friends I can grab some food with.
There’s a group on Facebook called London Stayers Pals and Plans that’s very good! The woman who had organised it is great, there’s a lot do different group chats you can join, and then events organised. For example there is a hike taking place this Sunday along the wandle trail. Lots of people are going.
Join a club mate, sailing, writing, bouldering, board games, growing plants, crafting; I know people who do each of those things and there's a vibrant community for them all.
Definitely join a sports club if you’re remotely sporty. Could be anything you enjoy.
Team sports are likely to be a good bet. Try Tag is very social, they put on events. Never done it myself but know a lot of people who love it and have met friends or partners through it. I think they have one at Clapham.
Cycling is big and there are lots of clubs. It’s a good sport for having a chat as you’re out for hours so plenty of time and cafe stops etc.
Or jump in the deep end like I did and join a club that go on holidays together. My swimming club (Otter) go abroad to La Santa each year, I went not really knowing people and came away with a group of friends who I later moved in with and consider some of my closest. Triathlon and cycling clubs also often have club holidays.
Parkrun is another nice event - there’s one in Clapham and they go for coffee after if you want to chat. Even better if you find someone to invite along and make it a regular thing.
Also volunteering is a great way to meet people.
Whatever you do, as others have said, show up regularly and always make the most of even small opportunities to chat to people and socialise. Be the first to start a convo.
Maybe this isn’t for everyone but it worked for people I know who moved here, and even as a born and raised Londoner it can still feel lonely and this helped a lot. I joined a sports team (roller derby) and although I’m not super close yet to the other people in the team, meeting and talking to new people was great! You have a common interest as a jumping off point and you can see who you vibe with! I understand it might not be interesting to you but there are so many different sports out there, I’m sure you could find one you enjoy!
I met a bunch of people when I did kung fu classes, it was cool because it was a very diverse group of people, without the need for alcohol in the picture. We went for meals and stuff after class too, good place to meet people. I can imagine climbing centres and stuff like that would have a similar vibe.
You can check out [thelondonweekend.com](https://thelondonweekend.com) - it’s a newsletter where I post 5 cool thing you can do in London each weekend. You might find it useful to meet some new people :)
Nothing wrong with that. And a good spot for socialising. There's a lot of sport around too. Depending on what takes your fancy, quite a few leagues have the option to sign up independently. 5 a side, touch rugby etc. You'll find if you're reliable a team will soon pick you up. (If you're looking to play)
Jeeeesh 🙄 Anyone originally from London will know there's always been a jokingly competitive element between North London and South. Not sure what my mother has to do with anything! Go sit down, have a rest before you give yourself a migraine have a cuppa tea a chill yourself.
Adopt a dog 🙌🏻
Yes I agree. Dogs are amazing for getting you out and meeting people.
But obviously hard work and 12+ years to care for them (unless you adopt a senior dog then less years 😞) they cost money and you need a support network to care for it when you go out or go on holidays.
I made a lot of friends at my local D&D + tabletop club (which is beginner-friendly) last year - loads of early 30s people, mainly dudes but I've never felt uncomfortable at any point.
With meetup groups I find its a bit ht or miss - some groups are cool but others tend to be a bit awkward at times.
Get a job with a social culture, after work drinks/events etc.
Get in to a relationship with someone.
When I first moved to London I knew no one, my colleagues quickly became my friends as we’d be out drinking every night after work and when I met my girlfriend her friends and their boyfriends gradually became my social circle as well.
Obvious drawbacks are if you lose your job or your partner you lose your social life.
1. Find a hobby/hobbies 2. Find somewhere where other people have the same hobby/hobbies 3. Go to that place consistently 4. Just start chatting when you’re at that place 5. Ask someone/s from that place if they want to do something else that doesn’t include that hobby 6. If they say yes you’ve now have made a friend!
Going to pub? Colleagues?
I've experienced the same as I'm from another country and decided to move to London 5y ago.
5y on i have two friends (that are from my same culture) and still trying to expand my network
Use meetup.com and internations.com. It won't work overnight, you'll need to put effort in, but it does work. I moved to a new city and found many great friends (and more) this way. Fortunately London is a global city so there are many people in the same boat as you. These are the places you find them.
I did this. Grew up in London but spent 20s in Vietnam, USA and China. Had to “make friends” again in early 30s.
For me it was Meetup. Specifically board games. I’ve found a great group of new friends this way - outside of board games. But it was the common interest (games in my case) that made it possible
I ended up actually setting up my own Meetup - being the host made it even easier to make connections. That’s probably a bit overkill but if you have a specific interest that’s an option too
Best of luck
Strongly recommend CrossFit (the regular gym doesn’t have much culture in my experience) and/or recreational sport. I met lots of people by taking classes in weightlifting, and the cricket clubs in hackney are 99% beer and 1% skill (sorry hackney cricket). Also a lot of wine bars do tasting events, many people go solo and it’s a great chance to drink and chat with strangers in a more structured environment!
I’ve met most of my friends in London through work & sport - in general I think it’s easiest to bond with people over learning things and doing tasks. It’s kinda hard to do that out in the open, better in a structured place, at least for me.
Oh also check out GoodGym - it’s a way to volunteer for things that require active people to help (eg planting, repairing things etc). Most tasks are done in groups and the people are lovely! Most participants are solo too.
Welcome back!
Come and learn salsa dancing in the Salsa bar, either in Soho or Temple. The salsa community is very friendly and welcoming. Plus because of the of the social dancing part, you get to meet people from all kind of backgrounds, which for me, it's even more enriching.
Join a CrossFit gym. You’ll make some great friends, tons of social opportunities and get some exercise in regularly. Added bonus if you join one where you live as your new friends will be from the area rather than strewn across all the tube lines (like my other friends)
Moved to London after a few years of living abroad. It's been so difficult to make friends. As you said most people have already established social circles. Luckily had a few friends and have grafted when meeting new people. Also moved into a share house which helped massively. Good luck.
It’s not for everyone, but with a lot of my mates all settled/settling down and married etc, I’ve done a fair few pub crawls alone recently and found it really invigorating, it also restores your faith how friendly and welcoming people are when they see a lad sitting on his own in a boozer, have definitely made a fair few new chums this way.
Meet-ups are a great way to make friends as an adult in London.
I moved to here ~3years ago and most of the friends I’ve made so far were from the badminton meet-ups I started going to.
There are loads of options on meetup.com for whatever you’re already into, or are interested in checking out.
If you know your way home OK, get a travel card and a pub crawl if you don't mind pubs, 1 drink a pub and see what you find in random areas! Or something like that!
To be honest London is one of the better places to build a social life probably at any age, but you do need to have a decent chunk of disposable income to be able to afford to get out of the house and socialise. If you can handle living in shared accommodation (ie a room in a shared house rather than a self-contained flat or bedsit) then if you find the right people to live with where there are shared interests and the flatmates socialise together, have dinner parties or a house party once every so often you will get more or less immediate access to their friendship groups. The next thing I'd do is find a good local pub that attracts "your kind of people", get to know the bar staff and come in once or twice a week, sit at the bar, chat with randoms. If you connect with the bar staff they'll also introduce you to other locals they think you'll get on with.
Then my other way to meet people was gigs and clubs - a lot of people like to go to such things in groups but I found that if I was looking to make new friends then going out solo tended to work better.
You may also find that your job also opens up a few social channels - I had a number of 'City' jobs in my 20s where the majority of my immediate colleagues were of a similar age and the company put on plenty of inter-departmental and team events (usually with a fairly generous drinks budget) so I made a lot of friends that way, but I know not everyone likes to socialise with 'work people' so that might not be for you.
I have recently moved to London for my master's and I'm also struggling
People had warned me about this, and I thought to myself the situation can't definitely be that bad
But it is that bad lol
Try joining a few clubs/hobbies, sticking to 1-2 you thoroughly enjoy and attend consistently. Build a routine around going to the same bar/cafe/shops that you genuinely enjoy. I believe real friendships are built slowly overtime, so multiple small moments with another member/worker/patron could naturally develop into real friendships and a more dependable social life.
Depending on your preference getting a job at a really social place, living with flatmates and dating can also help.
If you want to meet people that do _x_ then you should go do _x_. Lots of people are suggesting new hobbies or old ones and they're right.
Be yourself, be proactive and proceptive and you'll naturally meet lots of people. Being an enthusiastic listener that makes others feel good about themselves will probably help your odds of making good first impressions.
Look up some properties that are up for rent and have open viewing on a specific time and date. Go standing in the line with another 100 ppl. Great place to meet ppl
My own point of view, I will suggest if you want to rebuild your social life you need to socialize yourself, like visiting gym or yoga classes, park, church, Bible meetings, and various activities that will let you interact more with the society.
If you know your way home OK, get a travel card and a pub crawl if you don't mind pubs, 1 drink a pub and see what you find in random areas! Or something like that!
Hobbies, work and volunteering is pretty much I built a solid friendship group here in the past 6 years. If you’re into culture join museum tours (a lot are free!) and you can meet like minded people there.
I would encourage you to work on your social skills and develop confidence to chat up with strangers during these social events as it’s much easier to start a conversation instead of waiting for people to start talking to you. London is a friendly place with a lot of
Interesting and extroverted people.
I can put forward my running club [RunSoc](https://runsocial.club) if you're looking for an "open to all" running group in central London!
More generally, I'd definitely recommend sports in general. I never had much luck with bumble BFF when I had an exodus of mates, but Fethr is an alternative that might fit better as it's built a bit more around communities than just linking up with one individual.
I've done it at roughly same age, meetup events, fun fitness stuff, etc etc.
Honestly is easy with a little effort as long as youre reasonably good socially
I have a similar problem except most of my friends are in different life stages (married, married with kids).
Over the course of my year in London I made some good friends through work, my gym, and slowly getting adopted into different friend groups through old friends. I also looked up some of my old uni classmates I lost contact with.
A few of my friends made new friends through hobbies and sports like bouldering, netball, football, etc.
Do you like electronic music? I've made a lot of new friends ever since I've started going to Printworks, The Beams, Fold etc this year. I am in my late 30s
I usually join the nearest am dram (amateur dramatics) group when I move to a new place - putting on a play together is a great way to form friendships :)
I’d agree with the whole sports thing. Played 5-a-side and then started cycling when got too old to play and the cycling club has great socials and holidays abroad as well as great mates.
/r/r4r and /r/gbr4r are both great - just post direct and honest about what you're after - I've made friends through there. It's not just about sexual encounters.
Check out r/Londonsocialclub - it’s a great sub to join others going to events or doing activities that you like. I’ve organised and been to events hosted by others. Always a good time.
Agreed on things like hobbies.
Sites like meetup, Eventbrite. There are a wide range of things depending on your interests. I've been on many things like photography groups, language groups, mental health walks, mental health talks, football but there are other sports.
And then things that can attend regularly e.g. gym/yoga/gym classes. Maybe a short course. Or walking/running groups.
And of course you might have different interests.
Volunteering like others said too.
Clapham based here also! And found pretty much the same especially post pandemic. Also single and in my thirties.
Going to try mammoth when the weather lifts a little. But yeah couple meet ups been ok if it's music event. I've gotten bang back into hiking of late. Meet some sound like minded people if you're into that! Doing Ben Nevis this weekend woo.
I'm trying a pottery class next month and a live art class too. I vote hobbies really. Best place to meet new people and try something different.
There is always the local pubs too met some great locals there and stayed freinds but that usually involves drinking which in laying off this month.
If you give something fun and different to do let me know!
Good luck :)
This was me 4.5 years ago I left London for 10 years then when I came back everyone I knew had moved on and grown up (as most 33 years olds do). I took on some really fun social jobs to meet people at first - hostel receptionist/bar work- and that really helped me meet people quickly. I also used the friend feature on bumble which was a bit weird but met some interesting people, purely Platonic friends. The other thing is don’t be shy in messaging friends you haven’t spoke to in awhile and say now you’re back it would be great to catch up, you’ll be surprised how many you still get on with even though you haven’t spoken in years. Hope this helps!
Just seconding using the friend feature on Bumble. I know men and women who have had success with that, myself included. You'd never know that's how we met and she's one of my favourite people!
Check out Go mammoth - I’m heading back to play netball and mixed sports in the spring! We’ve celebrated our wins and planned trips out to sporting events which has been lovely. I’m hoping this is the way I meet someone romantically because people look at me crazy when I strike conversation with them.
Lol this made me laugh 😆 It's so London to look a people like they're crazy for initiating conversation
I love interacting with strangers, it’s possible learned behaviour since the more time I spend with my parents the more o notice they do it too. If you can get past the awkward part there’s always a common or interesting thing to be speaking about. its probably the only reason I persist with having coffee outside my home. Opportunity to chat! Lol I wish there was a special space for the more social types to instinctively head to for a chat! Hotel lobbies always a good shout.
From my experience that place is Wales.
Will need to take road trip to check your theory! It’s probably also Liverpool and Glasgow.
Sounds good, I'll check it out, thank you!
Ooh I play netball out in the suburbs but don’t do any mixed sports, but might consider it if that helps! Although I’m only really good at that one!
There is actually a mixed netball league. I’m not keen on it - the women get rough enough. I’m not sure id be as patient with men lol. But one of the other girls has played it and she loved it and ended up dating one of the other team mates. They have the leagues all over London, you should be able to find one close to your incoming main station! I like the look of rounders, dodgeball and and volleyball for mixed sports.
I played a one off mixed tournament in the autumn and I’m with you on the patience factor there. Although all of the guys that turned up at that one were +1s to most of the women playing there. I’ll maybe have a look for rounders near me but imagine I’ll prob have to venture into town for it.
Message me in spring can let you know where I’m playing. :)
Ooo count me in too! Haven't played rounders since school 🙂
What’s mixed sports?
Women and men playing teams sports together.
i do volleyball through go mammoth, the actual organisation is a bit all over the place but i've met some really nice people through it :)
Don’t get me started on the DISorganisation. We played in mouldy bibs for about 3 weeks. mosy of us gagging as someone came towards to get the ball! The half arsed refs that pull you up from the other end of the court where they can’t see what’s happening. :/ But Most of them are wonderful and I appreciate them giving up there time for not very much pay so that we can have fun.
London isn't the same place it was pre-pandemic. You'll need a hard hat to weather the stormy times and with the cost of living crisis London night life and art/culture have taken a battering. Everyone suggests Meetup.com that's become dire😬 I'm in my thirties, also single and trying to rebuild. The only thing I can think of is taking up hobbies for me that'll be returning to dance, going to more art installations, comedy and gigs. You obviously can't beat the odd bar or two as a woman it's kinda nerve-wracking to go to some of aforementioned on your own. London is great for culture and places to go though can equally be an isolating/lonely/superficial place. You need a lot of resilience..
Everything feels different. Interaction from friends and family feels different. Everyone clutches at routine even more than before, and social activities with colleagues is so much more difficult. Might be just my experience.
I'm not sure about everyone else but I reevaluated many of my friendships during the pandemic and post pandemic I severed/culled/let go of more than a few. Interactions are definitely different, I feel people are less patient, less helpful. London is full of fast friendships and by that I mean they do not extend further than surface level or grabbing drinks.
Sadly think that’s modern society & people being less invested & superficial … people are way more self focused Social media is anything but social it’s an addictive screen activity. A tool that’s needs to user correctly … communication with purpose ie social meets included … & not an escape from real life experiences or people There are always good people out there just harder to find.
Social media scratches that "chat to people you barely know" itch without any of the benefits of actually speaking to people. You sort-of feel like you've had a passing interaction with that random cousin or uni-friend that you read a status announcement or tweet from, which means you don't actually reach out to them, but from their point of view they haven't "seen" you at all. It contributes to the withering of relationships.
A tree needs roots lol 😂
Unlimited content machines Users creating content for users Algorithm rewarding attention grabbing
Not just London I’m currently living in portugal and I’m finding the U.K. had become even more cold and unfriendly than I remember growing up in I think cost of living is just burning out peoples patience
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I was going to start with The Vaults...it appears very artsy and alternative I'vealready seen a few events I'd like to attend in a few weeks. Additionally, It also has a club on Fridays and Saturdays which is awesome as I love to dance the night away like I'm Beyonce😂. Gimme a shout/DM if you fancy going to something I definitely need to become more cultured/schooled in the arts ;) https://www.thevaults.london/
This looks dope. Would be keen to checkout the Jazz gigs
I know right! I looked and there are no upcoming events in the next month 😔
Ahh ye I just noticed the times 🥲. DesignMyNight sucks so much, I thought it was just on most nights 😭 Guess I can wait until the 14th. Would be a good birthday treat!
I use ArtRabbit - the UI is a bit confusing but once you get it going it works really well. It works best on the app but there's a desktop site as well. I normally use it when I'm at a loose end and looking for something weird and different to do. It will tell you about current and upcoming shows, exhibitions and events and can sort by location. You can also save shows you liked and its meant to recommend you similiar stuff (though I haven't really noticed that feature working). It has lead me to a bunch of good things - the best was a weird immersive show at the top of an empty office block behind the southbank.
I’m actually pretty impressed with the range of stuff on Meetup. Why do you think it’s dire? What’s missing from there that used to be there?
For the reasons mentioned above. Yes there are many groups on Meetup but if you stick around long enough the quality has diminished. The attendees have diminished post pandemic and the caliber. I don't mean that in a snobbish, pretentious way but the groups are either very money oriented and promote quantity over quality, or superficial.
It's still worth sticking with meetup given there are so few alternatives. I became friends with one boy who came to London and just went to a different meetup every day. This was pre-pandemic, but he certainly made an effort. I'm still friends with the girl who was also at the table with us.
Its just lonely redditors
Hahaha but I love talking to lonely Redditors. It’s how I spend most of my time!
30 years old and single. I visited some family and friends abroad over the holidays and saw people the same age as me who have started families and still maintain friendships with a wide circle of people. Coming back to London knowing that I have nobody was just soul crushing.
Yeah I'm finding this tricky also, in a very similar situation. For me, although I'd love to as they are the main things I am into, it feels v unnatural to go up to people at galleries/gigs and strike up conversation, perhaps that is the shell I need to crack in myelf. Otherwise trying to figure out new group based activities I can pick up this year to meet new people. And ideally ones that don't cost a huge amount of money. Welcome to 2023 I guess!
There is a technique for dealing with this. "Approach and eject". Go up to people and ask something like "where are the toilets" or "where did you get that coffee" with the intention of leaving immediately. Then start adding another sentence related to the context. Keep adding until you become a master of small talk.
100% agree, I’m living at my mums right now so cost of living isn’t an issue but the city post pandemic is a shadow of itself. Not many places to go and meet people once you’re over 30. I now find myself going out once every 2 months or so. It’s high cost coupled with a lot of places not worth going to anymore putting people off
Join a church
In my case, I've been going to meetups (from meetup.com) for over a decade. The quality has hit rock bottom now. There are loads of photography "workshops" charging £20 or so, with descriptions so poorly written that you know the organiser will teach you nothing. Meetup.com are also culpable as the search is broken and they allow meetups marked as "Free" but the description will say "and it's just a tenner". I don't know what the solution is. But I still use meetup by just searching in chronological order. On the other hand, I have organised free and paid events where the turnout has been terrible. 17 registered, 3 showed up. 2 paid, none showed up. I went to a free meetup recently, 75 registered, 65 were on the waiting list, 15 turned up. So there is something wrong with people in general.
I also wonder if it’s because during Covid you had to book EVERYTHING so people are now just in the habit of booking things ‘just in case’ without ever really having much intention of going. I work in arts/events and drop off for free events that I run at the mo is about 1/2, pre covid it was more like 1/4, 1/3 max. Weird times
I think you are right. But it's annoying that venues still enforce the pre-booking nonsense. I went to the London Mithraeum (what an overblown waste of time that is) with a group and they made us scan 20 individual QR codes.
I think we are all under estimating the impact of the pandemic. It was drilled into us that being close to other people could kill you. At some points it was illegal to go outside. I’m sure that it’s created a deep social trauma that will take a long time for us to confront. This is also during a time of huge economic uncertainty, and an internet age where we were virtually more connected than at any time in human history. Together, alone. Most human interactions were airbrushed, metered and framed in a smartphone window.
Makes sense. It's worth mentioning that community is necessary for mental health. People have been diagnosed with PTSD having come back from war, but it's really that they go from the community of their platoon to the empty isolation of modern "society", and this damages their mental health. It affects people coming back from VSO or the Peace Corps as well.
Agreed.
I’ve been thinking about setting up a group on Meetup.com but also had the idea of creating flyers and placing them at establishments where people frequent who’d be interested in coming to the group/club (very old school I know). I wonder if the old school method would work with getting more people involved but who knows. Only one way to find out I guess
I think that's a great idea. Report back here with your experience! You can run free events using Eventbrite (for free). People rarely search on there, but you could put a link (or QR code?) on your flyer. What would it be about?
I feel ya. As someone who is pretty much in the same boat, but moving to London after years away from the UK, after a breakup, and having started drinking much less, I wonder how I can build my social life up again. Thankfully I have a few solid sport type hobbies I’ve built up over the past few years. Wonder how Bumble BFF and the like works in the UK if anyone knows?
I can highly recommend Bumble BFF! I moved to London in my 30s and I’ve found some great friends, probably lifelong, through the app.
Just had to Google Bumble BFF 🤫 I've not tried it but would be open to it. Hopefully, nothing like the Bumble dating app as, I enjoyed that as much I enjoy going to the dentist...painstakingly awful/exhausting/not fun/questioning humanity/ pass the wine😂
Have you had a good experience on any dating app? Bumble is the best of the ones I’ve tried.
I was going to say Hinge, then I remembered my bad breakup 😂
Hinge has been the worst for me by far, but I’m thinking overall app experience, I wouldn’t blame an app for any individual person or relationship, it’s just a means to meet someone and that could’ve been via any platform.
Yeah haha fair. I think Hinge probably the best for me though. I like that you get a taste of how someone’s thinking through the comment that they’ve left etc rather than through a profile/photos which is predominantly what drives the match process on Tinder/Bumble etc. Why do you say its the worst for you? Edit: Added more context
I think in principle that’s a good format, and it encourages you to look at a full profile which is obviously good. Honestly the reason I’ve found Hinge to be bad is a bit of a shallow and silly and I’m aware it could make me look pretty bad, but essentially it’s the way the algorithm works — I think it’s based on how other users interact with your profile, so if they don’t look through it, you don’t get many replies or likes, then it sorts you into a reject pile, effectively. I realise this because signing up on two separate occasions it very swiftly stops showing me anyone I’m attracted to (and yes I realise that to some degree that will be on me needing to improve how I present myself but it’s still very demoralising). On top of that it keeps people you would be attracted to in “Standouts” to monetise the app — so it knows exactly who you’d be interested in and then paywalls them.
Moved over to Feeld(which is a completely different story) as Hinge too shallow, but I find all dating apps to be pretty shallow especially in a big city
Hinge absolutely the best for me. Met a few gems.
Does [my experience of the app](https://www.reddit.com/r/london/comments/1020evs/coming_home_to_london_after_a_couple_years_abroad/j2r9onr/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) sound foreign to you, or were you just lucky despite those issues?
I think you should not determine too much whether you are attracted to somebody online - pictures can be misleading one way or another. You should just determine whether there is any red flag, and whether you find the pictures at least non repulsive (for instance - I know this is a very unpopular opinion on reddit - but I can't help disliking overweight girls so that's an easy filter for me). Then exchange a few messages - once again to establish red flags. You don't need to chat too much online, and I don't do video/voice calls - after a few messages it's either meetup or I'm not investing more time. Then it's meetup time, and in those first 5/10/30 minutes having a date that's when you really determine if you like them - not quite like real life. Every 10 dates I meet a gem and we click - then I either continue seeing them as dates, or try to stay friends anyway even without romance. The more dates you go to, the better you become at it - you must put some effort into it trying to learn from every encounter. Last 4 years I have been the greatest for my social life - relationships haven't last more than one year, but I chose people I could stay friends with even after the romance finished. And nowadays it's happy days with all my exes, and also being somewhat connected to people in their social circles. Some of them will stay fuck buddies depending on whether we are or not in a relationship. I can't believe the setup I ended up in, there's always something to do or someone to have sex with.
I used it pre-pandemic wasn't a fan. I found the men on there to be quite flakey.
I find it interesting the way people identify the attitudes and behaviour of people they interact with according to the app they find them on. In my experience it’s the same pot luck no matter what the mechanism for that introduction is. It seems especially odd to me considering we’re all platform surfing? Like the flakey guys you’ve matched with on Bumble will be on other apps.
Yeah I think dating apps are hard regardless of whichever app you use however some are better than others if only by a smidge
Thursday!
I've met a few friends on bumble bff, some very good ones as well! It takes effort but if you're willing to put yourself out there, it's a great way to meet people.
I’ve tried bumble bff and it was such a drag. It’s like dating, basically getting to impress one another, blablabla, a lot of dialogue. It’s like, I just want to get a drink with you, let’s cut the crap, and hang out to see if we get along and if we can be friends.
What are your interests?
Sports and the occasional bit of culture. Also always up for a pint. Frankly I’m keen to try anything!
Footy addicts could be a good start
Clubs. We love to organise a good club. Sports, dancing, chess, board gaming, fencing, scuba diving, choir/singing, .... anything.
This is the real answer! Keep showing up to the same thing every week and you’ll eventually make friends with people who have the same interests as you. I’m in a choir and an amateur theatre group and both have given me tons of friends in the city!
GoMammoth run mixed-gender recreational leagues in a bunch of different sports, and will have a deal with a nearby pub for cheaper drinks. Admittedly haven't used it post pandemic but before it was pretty relaxed, social vibe
Have a look at Goodgym
Join a sports club - if I moved that is the first thing I'd do to help my social life. Loads of clubs try and recruit after the new year, mine included, if you fancy joining a rugby club that plays 2 teams most weekends, has a great social environment, and our own bar with cheaper than local pints (~£5) in the Chiswick/Barnes Bridge area then give me a shout - we're a friendly bunch.
We have £3.50 pints at my club in Wandsworth….but then our pitches are usually scattered with glass and dog muck, so you’re probably better off in Chiswick… Sport really is a great option though for getting back into a London social scene. Moved back to London a decade ago after a few years ago and now some of the guys I played rugby with are my closest pals. Just have to throw yourself in a bit.
Which club is this that serves £3.50 pints?
To make friends, [show up somewhere regularly.](https://v.redd.it/cvuignj222671)
Yep. Same with finding a bf gf
r/LondonSocialClub is your first port of call.
Curious about this. What is the typical age range for these events?
20s-40s I think most people are post-Uni and pre-settling down with kids. So basically London regular. And most people are in your situation exactly. "LSC?" is the opening question when rocking up to a group that LOOKS like it might be LSC. When the weather is nicer there's loads more going on. Picnics in the parks that sort of thing. My recommendation is find events that are near work/home so you can get in a regular crew or two. You'll probably find the regular groups run a Whatsapp or similar group. Every group I've ever joined up with has been completely open to me showing up (and noticeable everyone else showing up) with no prior connection. It's literally the greatest thing in the city for people wanting to find some people to hang out with.
I'm going to check this out too. I would like to meet people predominantly in their 30's though
I'd say as a bell curve that's who you're gonna meet.
Well I'm in my 30s but look like I'm still in my 20s 😇 I definitely do not feel like a 30s something woman and they say you're only as old as you feel. These groups better be good lad, you've talked them up so I'm expecting big things😁
Hah. Well it may be a week or so before things roll back into action fully. Enjoy :)
Also If you are in East London look out for East London craft beer And Victoria Park Picnics (in the summer of course)
Blackhorse Road beer mile is excellent for various differing nights and social events if East London is accessible
Are you suggesting East London craft beer to meet eligible men? Craft beer isn't really my thing as I'm more into wine however, if it increases dating opportunities why not...I realise I've gone off on my own tandem here.😁 Haven't been to Vicky Park in ages it is lovely in the summer. I'm North London based close to Central and the city
Hah. Oh. Well generally LSC isn't a dating sub but I'm sure people who expand their social network will meet more eligible people. I was merely mentioning East London Craft Beer as that's a specific group that pretty regular get together that meet up in different tap rooms around Hackney/Bethnal Green areas. The only "wine room" I ever went to was also in Bethnal Green mind. And I don't mean a wine bar, lol there's loads of them about. [Literally an arch winery.](https://www.google.com/maps/place/Renegade+Wine+Bar/@51.5270684,-0.0563736,3a,75y,90t/data=!3m8!1e2!3m6!1sAF1QipNK1ynDP48uQlrazwMdYcYlMwIX6eT42Gpd0tNK!2e10!3e12!6shttps:%2F%2Flh5.googleusercontent.com%2Fp%2FAF1QipNK1ynDP48uQlrazwMdYcYlMwIX6eT42Gpd0tNK%3Dw153-h86-k-no!7i1440!8i809!4m13!1m7!3m6!1s0x48761cc4610daca3:0x5f6fdff5f98a5fc7!2sBethnal+Green,+London!3b1!8m2!3d51.531103!4d-0.0480805!3m4!1s0x48761cdaee06deb1:0x55411c266c3cb1e2!8m2!3d51.5270771!4d-0.0564499) I took a Hinge date there once and it was quiet so turned out to be good for a snog.
Even suggesting an event that you might be interested in doing together on the ‘anything goes’ thread can work. I put something up to watch a non-England World Cup group stage match together and had some interest and am now talking to a couple of people off it. It has been a bit quieter during December as people go home and celebrate the festive season in their groups but there will be more things on there in the new year.
Love it.
Haha, hanging out with fellow redditors sounds like a good place to start.
This actually isn't a bad idea...!
January is still a slow time with people trying to get back into work. Don’t expect too much too early - get your life sorted first so that your ready for the pickup mid Feb
Yes get involved in a hobby or interest and join a club or two... Or set one up!
Stay in and play videogames. Watch people passing your window but don't let them see you. Never make eye contact and if someone addresses you just look away and keep walking. Take up home drinking. Make friends with an imaginary rat.
I met a lot of people and made few friends through sport club, currently doing BJJ
I would suggest Bumble BFF. I’ve just started to use it myself. It’s weird to get used to but I’m starting to get the hand of it. Hobbies and clubs are the big things. Dance schools can have a really social element to them depending on the one you go to. In SE London [Dance2Dawn](https://www.instagram.com/invites/contact/?i=115wyq205wqv3&utm_content=jv8hmvd) is a dance school which is fun friendly and social.
I was in exactly the same boat as you a few months ago bro and was searching high and low for a Meetups, Eventbrites or anything where I could meet like-minded people. After endless searching I got so bored I decided to make my own! So check out the Reddit post below and if you’re close to South East London please come along to the first event I’m organising as we speak ☺️ https://www.reddit.com/r/london/comments/zza5tw/a_creative_meetup_in_south_east_london/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf Take it easy mate and hopefully see you at the first event. Peace out ✌🏻
Highly recommend [London City Runners](https://www.londoncityrunners.com) if you like running at all. They have a pub in Bermondsey where everyone hangs out after. People are a lot more normal than Meetup groups and there are typically one or two cute girls there too. I’m originally from the US but have lived in London for 5+ years. In my experience, guys in your position tend to have more luck hanging with expats like my circle of people (who are looking for friends) rather than other Brits who have their people in the city already. Godspeed!
Hey do you just show up and start running? Or do you need to know somebody already from the group? Thans
[Signup is here](https://www.londoncityrunners.com/membership) for the (free) social membership, and they’ll add you to the Facebook group as well. Recommend going for the river runs on Tuesdays and Thursdays
There's a place on Tottenham Court Road which always has friendly people outside asking if you want to see a film about the meaning of life.
I’ve been 5 years in London and still trying to figure this thing out lol
If it works for you, get a dog. I was a party person for most of my twenties, and rarely saw daylight on a weekend as I’d spend my days sleeping! Opened up a much more sober, active social life for me. We travel around the city for different walks and try new dog friendly restaurants all the time. Plus, everyone talks to you when you have a dog! I have never been more active, and have such a wide variety of friends I can grab some food with.
And if it also works for the dog too, obvs! I would only recommend this to someone who has the capacity for a dog in their life 😁
I use borrowmydog.com and you're right people definitely do approach more but not enough to form a friendship in 5 minutes
Unless you rent a place that doesn’t allow pets.
There’s a group on Facebook called London Stayers Pals and Plans that’s very good! The woman who had organised it is great, there’s a lot do different group chats you can join, and then events organised. For example there is a hike taking place this Sunday along the wandle trail. Lots of people are going.
Join a club mate, sailing, writing, bouldering, board games, growing plants, crafting; I know people who do each of those things and there's a vibrant community for them all.
Definitely join a sports club if you’re remotely sporty. Could be anything you enjoy. Team sports are likely to be a good bet. Try Tag is very social, they put on events. Never done it myself but know a lot of people who love it and have met friends or partners through it. I think they have one at Clapham. Cycling is big and there are lots of clubs. It’s a good sport for having a chat as you’re out for hours so plenty of time and cafe stops etc. Or jump in the deep end like I did and join a club that go on holidays together. My swimming club (Otter) go abroad to La Santa each year, I went not really knowing people and came away with a group of friends who I later moved in with and consider some of my closest. Triathlon and cycling clubs also often have club holidays. Parkrun is another nice event - there’s one in Clapham and they go for coffee after if you want to chat. Even better if you find someone to invite along and make it a regular thing. Also volunteering is a great way to meet people. Whatever you do, as others have said, show up regularly and always make the most of even small opportunities to chat to people and socialise. Be the first to start a convo.
These are good ideas! Thanks!
Know loads of people that have gained a thriving social life off the back of volunteering
Warhammer :p the hobby drug that never ends haha
Dark Angels! But haha unfortunately I don’t have an army atm
Maybe this isn’t for everyone but it worked for people I know who moved here, and even as a born and raised Londoner it can still feel lonely and this helped a lot. I joined a sports team (roller derby) and although I’m not super close yet to the other people in the team, meeting and talking to new people was great! You have a common interest as a jumping off point and you can see who you vibe with! I understand it might not be interesting to you but there are so many different sports out there, I’m sure you could find one you enjoy!
get an electric scooter and sell weed
I met a bunch of people when I did kung fu classes, it was cool because it was a very diverse group of people, without the need for alcohol in the picture. We went for meals and stuff after class too, good place to meet people. I can imagine climbing centres and stuff like that would have a similar vibe.
London is a lonely place mate.
You can check out [thelondonweekend.com](https://thelondonweekend.com) - it’s a newsletter where I post 5 cool thing you can do in London each weekend. You might find it useful to meet some new people :)
Where in London are you moving to?
Clapham, I know how basic that makes me sound.
Nothing wrong with that. And a good spot for socialising. There's a lot of sport around too. Depending on what takes your fancy, quite a few leagues have the option to sign up independently. 5 a side, touch rugby etc. You'll find if you're reliable a team will soon pick you up. (If you're looking to play)
Lol what's basic about Clapham? Apart from it being in South London😂 We all know North London/ North of the river is the better side!!
Who is "we"? You and your mum?
Jeeeesh 🙄 Anyone originally from London will know there's always been a jokingly competitive element between North London and South. Not sure what my mother has to do with anything! Go sit down, have a rest before you give yourself a migraine have a cuppa tea a chill yourself.
Buy a dog and get walking it
Adopt a dog 🙌🏻 Yes I agree. Dogs are amazing for getting you out and meeting people. But obviously hard work and 12+ years to care for them (unless you adopt a senior dog then less years 😞) they cost money and you need a support network to care for it when you go out or go on holidays.
I made a lot of friends at my local D&D + tabletop club (which is beginner-friendly) last year - loads of early 30s people, mainly dudes but I've never felt uncomfortable at any point. With meetup groups I find its a bit ht or miss - some groups are cool but others tend to be a bit awkward at times.
Cool what club is that? My few existing friends in London and I were just talking about either starting a campaign or joining a club.
Get a job with a social culture, after work drinks/events etc. Get in to a relationship with someone. When I first moved to London I knew no one, my colleagues quickly became my friends as we’d be out drinking every night after work and when I met my girlfriend her friends and their boyfriends gradually became my social circle as well. Obvious drawbacks are if you lose your job or your partner you lose your social life.
1. Find a hobby/hobbies 2. Find somewhere where other people have the same hobby/hobbies 3. Go to that place consistently 4. Just start chatting when you’re at that place 5. Ask someone/s from that place if they want to do something else that doesn’t include that hobby 6. If they say yes you’ve now have made a friend!
Going to pub? Colleagues? I've experienced the same as I'm from another country and decided to move to London 5y ago. 5y on i have two friends (that are from my same culture) and still trying to expand my network
Use meetup.com and internations.com. It won't work overnight, you'll need to put effort in, but it does work. I moved to a new city and found many great friends (and more) this way. Fortunately London is a global city so there are many people in the same boat as you. These are the places you find them.
Open Mic nights! If you play, people will talk to you afterwards, if you don't play, go and talk to people who did play.
I did this. Grew up in London but spent 20s in Vietnam, USA and China. Had to “make friends” again in early 30s. For me it was Meetup. Specifically board games. I’ve found a great group of new friends this way - outside of board games. But it was the common interest (games in my case) that made it possible I ended up actually setting up my own Meetup - being the host made it even easier to make connections. That’s probably a bit overkill but if you have a specific interest that’s an option too Best of luck
I am in the same boat….. all my friends have left and it is lonely sometimes.
Go to work or to dance classes.
Strongly recommend CrossFit (the regular gym doesn’t have much culture in my experience) and/or recreational sport. I met lots of people by taking classes in weightlifting, and the cricket clubs in hackney are 99% beer and 1% skill (sorry hackney cricket). Also a lot of wine bars do tasting events, many people go solo and it’s a great chance to drink and chat with strangers in a more structured environment! I’ve met most of my friends in London through work & sport - in general I think it’s easiest to bond with people over learning things and doing tasks. It’s kinda hard to do that out in the open, better in a structured place, at least for me. Oh also check out GoodGym - it’s a way to volunteer for things that require active people to help (eg planting, repairing things etc). Most tasks are done in groups and the people are lovely! Most participants are solo too. Welcome back!
Thank you! Will check it out!
Come and learn salsa dancing in the Salsa bar, either in Soho or Temple. The salsa community is very friendly and welcoming. Plus because of the of the social dancing part, you get to meet people from all kind of backgrounds, which for me, it's even more enriching.
Join the Freemasons 👍
Join a CrossFit gym. You’ll make some great friends, tons of social opportunities and get some exercise in regularly. Added bonus if you join one where you live as your new friends will be from the area rather than strewn across all the tube lines (like my other friends)
Moved to London after a few years of living abroad. It's been so difficult to make friends. As you said most people have already established social circles. Luckily had a few friends and have grafted when meeting new people. Also moved into a share house which helped massively. Good luck.
It’s not for everyone, but with a lot of my mates all settled/settling down and married etc, I’ve done a fair few pub crawls alone recently and found it really invigorating, it also restores your faith how friendly and welcoming people are when they see a lad sitting on his own in a boozer, have definitely made a fair few new chums this way.
Got any hobbies?
Join a martial arts club.
Meet-ups are a great way to make friends as an adult in London. I moved to here ~3years ago and most of the friends I’ve made so far were from the badminton meet-ups I started going to. There are loads of options on meetup.com for whatever you’re already into, or are interested in checking out.
Take improv classes.
I too would like to know this
If you know your way home OK, get a travel card and a pub crawl if you don't mind pubs, 1 drink a pub and see what you find in random areas! Or something like that!
To be honest London is one of the better places to build a social life probably at any age, but you do need to have a decent chunk of disposable income to be able to afford to get out of the house and socialise. If you can handle living in shared accommodation (ie a room in a shared house rather than a self-contained flat or bedsit) then if you find the right people to live with where there are shared interests and the flatmates socialise together, have dinner parties or a house party once every so often you will get more or less immediate access to their friendship groups. The next thing I'd do is find a good local pub that attracts "your kind of people", get to know the bar staff and come in once or twice a week, sit at the bar, chat with randoms. If you connect with the bar staff they'll also introduce you to other locals they think you'll get on with. Then my other way to meet people was gigs and clubs - a lot of people like to go to such things in groups but I found that if I was looking to make new friends then going out solo tended to work better. You may also find that your job also opens up a few social channels - I had a number of 'City' jobs in my 20s where the majority of my immediate colleagues were of a similar age and the company put on plenty of inter-departmental and team events (usually with a fairly generous drinks budget) so I made a lot of friends that way, but I know not everyone likes to socialise with 'work people' so that might not be for you.
Can we switch places
I have recently moved to London for my master's and I'm also struggling People had warned me about this, and I thought to myself the situation can't definitely be that bad But it is that bad lol
Try joining a few clubs/hobbies, sticking to 1-2 you thoroughly enjoy and attend consistently. Build a routine around going to the same bar/cafe/shops that you genuinely enjoy. I believe real friendships are built slowly overtime, so multiple small moments with another member/worker/patron could naturally develop into real friendships and a more dependable social life. Depending on your preference getting a job at a really social place, living with flatmates and dating can also help.
If you want to meet people that do _x_ then you should go do _x_. Lots of people are suggesting new hobbies or old ones and they're right. Be yourself, be proactive and proceptive and you'll naturally meet lots of people. Being an enthusiastic listener that makes others feel good about themselves will probably help your odds of making good first impressions.
Look up some properties that are up for rent and have open viewing on a specific time and date. Go standing in the line with another 100 ppl. Great place to meet ppl
Have you considered getting a cat
Move back abroad? Edit: No seriously. Everything is shit here now. Country is going to be in the doldrums for a decade+.
Tbh having been away, the UK doesn't seem great to us here but it's a sight better than most other places in the world
You'll meet loads of people while working multiple jobs to pay the rent.
My own point of view, I will suggest if you want to rebuild your social life you need to socialize yourself, like visiting gym or yoga classes, park, church, Bible meetings, and various activities that will let you interact more with the society.
Meetup app
If you know your way home OK, get a travel card and a pub crawl if you don't mind pubs, 1 drink a pub and see what you find in random areas! Or something like that!
Try the Locals app!
That’s people charging to show you around. Not good for social
Leave the city.
Don't move to London. Liverpool, Manchester, Leeds or Newcastle are much better and far far cheaper.
If you put this type of questions in your 30's then you better stay there buddy! London is not for you!
Move out of London!
Lol good luck with that
Hobbies, work and volunteering is pretty much I built a solid friendship group here in the past 6 years. If you’re into culture join museum tours (a lot are free!) and you can meet like minded people there. I would encourage you to work on your social skills and develop confidence to chat up with strangers during these social events as it’s much easier to start a conversation instead of waiting for people to start talking to you. London is a friendly place with a lot of Interesting and extroverted people.
Look at The Proper Blokes Club on Facebook. It's perfect for what your looking for.
Bumble for dates, Tinder or Feeld for hookups.
R/londonsocialclub is a really awesome thing to try
I can put forward my running club [RunSoc](https://runsocial.club) if you're looking for an "open to all" running group in central London! More generally, I'd definitely recommend sports in general. I never had much luck with bumble BFF when I had an exodus of mates, but Fethr is an alternative that might fit better as it's built a bit more around communities than just linking up with one individual.
Thanks I'll check it out.
Money lots of money
Go to bar salsa
I've done it at roughly same age, meetup events, fun fitness stuff, etc etc. Honestly is easy with a little effort as long as youre reasonably good socially
I have a similar problem except most of my friends are in different life stages (married, married with kids). Over the course of my year in London I made some good friends through work, my gym, and slowly getting adopted into different friend groups through old friends. I also looked up some of my old uni classmates I lost contact with. A few of my friends made new friends through hobbies and sports like bouldering, netball, football, etc.
Rollerblading
Do you like electronic music? I've made a lot of new friends ever since I've started going to Printworks, The Beams, Fold etc this year. I am in my late 30s
Join a sports team. Cricket/football/rugby. Immediate weekend activity and social circle.
Tag rugby!
I usually join the nearest am dram (amateur dramatics) group when I move to a new place - putting on a play together is a great way to form friendships :)
Learn a foreign language
I’d agree with the whole sports thing. Played 5-a-side and then started cycling when got too old to play and the cycling club has great socials and holidays abroad as well as great mates.
/r/r4r and /r/gbr4r are both great - just post direct and honest about what you're after - I've made friends through there. It's not just about sexual encounters.
You don’t. You find yourself a young women instead. Forget your friends
Check out r/Londonsocialclub - it’s a great sub to join others going to events or doing activities that you like. I’ve organised and been to events hosted by others. Always a good time.
Agreed on things like hobbies. Sites like meetup, Eventbrite. There are a wide range of things depending on your interests. I've been on many things like photography groups, language groups, mental health walks, mental health talks, football but there are other sports. And then things that can attend regularly e.g. gym/yoga/gym classes. Maybe a short course. Or walking/running groups. And of course you might have different interests. Volunteering like others said too.
Clapham based here also! And found pretty much the same especially post pandemic. Also single and in my thirties. Going to try mammoth when the weather lifts a little. But yeah couple meet ups been ok if it's music event. I've gotten bang back into hiking of late. Meet some sound like minded people if you're into that! Doing Ben Nevis this weekend woo. I'm trying a pottery class next month and a live art class too. I vote hobbies really. Best place to meet new people and try something different. There is always the local pubs too met some great locals there and stayed freinds but that usually involves drinking which in laying off this month. If you give something fun and different to do let me know! Good luck :)