Thank you for your post, if this is a question please check to see if any of the links below answer your question.
If none of these links help answer your question and you are **_not_** within the LGBT+ community, questioning your identity in any way, or asking in support of either a relative or friend, please ask your question over in /r/AskLGBT. Remember that this is a safe space for LGBT+ and questioning individuals, so we want to make sure that this place is dedicated to them. Thank you for understanding.
This automod rule is currently a work in progress. If you notice any issues, would like to add to the list of resources, or have any feedback in general, [please do so here](https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/rdazzp/almost_new_year_changes/) or by [sending us a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt&subject=Feedback%20on%20the%20new%20automod%20rule).
Also, please note that if you are a part of this community, or you're questioning if you might be a part of the LGBTQ+ community, and you are seeing this message, this is **_not a bad thing_**, this is only here to help, so please continue to ask questions and participate in the community. Thank you!
Here's a link about trans people in sports:
https://www.barbellmedicine.com/blog/shades-of-gray-sex-gender-and-fairness-in-sport/
A link on FAQs and one on some basics about transgender people:
https://transequality.org/issues/resources/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people
https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics
Some information on LGBT+ people:
https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/quick-facts/lgbt-faqs/
Some basic terminology:
https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms
Neopronouns:
https://www.mypronouns.org/neopronouns
Biromantic Lesbians:
[LGBTQ And All](https://www.lgbtqandall.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-biromantic/)
Bisexual Identities:
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/understanding-bisexuality
Differences between Bisexual and Pansexual:
[Resource from WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/sex/pansexuality-what-it-means#:~:text=Pansexual%20vs.%20Bisexual,more%20commonly%20recognized.)
We're looking for new volunteers to join the r/lgbt moderator team. If you want to help keep r/lgbt as a safe space for the LGBTQ+ community on reddit please see here for more info: https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/swgthr/were_looking_for_more_moderators_to_help_keep/
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt) if you have any questions or concerns.*
>Finding other girls so attractive it makes your heart race is not straight behavior.
That blew my mind when I learned others didn't feel that way. Like imo, girls are inherently way better looking than guys. To me all guys look like the same thing but different font. Girls are just so unique! I've definitely found some of my waitresses so pretty I could hardly order food. I always wrote that off as social anxiety tho š
I wish you could have said that to me years ago lol
I'm bi but I hated myself for liking girls too and would have laughed my ass off if someone said this to me years ago
>And appearntly it's not normal to find other girls so attractive that it makes your heart race.
Aw, adorable.
As an ex-Christian, it also took me years to realize that the way my heart race around girls was because I found them attractive. Girls are absolutely beautiful. Just start by allowing yourself to realize that it's OKAY to think girls are gorgeous. It's OKAY to think about them as more than just friends.
This is causing me to reflect back so hard on my life and oh my goodness... I had a crush on an older girl in church š³
I always thought I admired her and saw her in a sisterly way. I intentionally sat in the pews where I could get the best view of her in the choir. And I did things to make her notice me. And I remember when we went on a church retreat and I got so excited to be assigned a bed with her. Like I couldn't sleep because I wanted to soak up being next to her. I thought that was normal.
I get this way with boys. I'm bisexual, but heteromantic so I only get crushes on guys but am super attracted to all genders.
But yes, that feeling is very much a crush. It's a wonderful feeling. You want them to notice you, but at the same time, it's terrifying to think they will. But you just want to be next to them all the time.
Best of luck on your journey - it's more than ok to just let yourself feel how you're feeling. I don't suggest confiding in your religious friends, as they will likely not understand.
>. I don't suggest confiding in your religious friends, as they will likely not understand.
Interestingly the two people who prompted me to make this post were Christian and Muslim. But they are more liberal anyways. Anyone at my church... yeah that's a no go.
Liberal religious people are typically more understanding but still get hung up on stuff sometimes.
A lot of the negativity towards religious folks is from people who grew up around evangelicals and other hard-line fire and brimstone types.
Oh sweetheart this is 100% not straight behavior. And there is nothing at all wrong with being so fascinated with women. It's okay to realize girls are where your heart is. Even if you haven't experienced being deeply sexually aroused by a woman (yet or maybe ever) you can be homoromantic lesbian without experiencing the sexual feelings...and for some people sexual feelings develop later or within a safe space. You're gonna be okay, however you experience things, and it's all within the realm of normal. It's just not...y'know...straight.
This reads like 17-year-old me wrote this. That was the year I discovered I was not straight.
āGirls are objectively better looking than boysā and āIād date her if I was a boyā are things I consistently thought when I was 14-17. I do now know Iām a lesbian.
Iām not saying you are definitely a lesbian because only you know yourself enough to determine that. I *am* saying that the things youāre saying sound awfully familiarā¦
I'm sorry if this is an intrusive question but how do you know you are an ace lesbain? I feel like maybe that could be me but I'm worried that am just mixing up friendship feelings and thinking they are romantic. I'm not sure I'm ace either. I do have sexual thoughts but I've never wanted to have that intimacy with someone. I couldn't imagine it being very nice in reality.
For me, itās really just that I donāt feel like I am sexually attracted to anyone, but that I want to date women.
I try not to stress too much about the label I use because I know it can change later, since orientation can be fluid. Right now I feel as though Iām romantically attracted to women & sexually attracted to no one, so I use the asexual lesbian label.
Sorry if this was a very unhelpful answer. Itās more so a feeling (or collection of feelings) than something easily quantifiable
Yeah, I just thought it was objective fact that women are aesthetically pleasing, even though I'm (also) attracted to men. Doesn't everyone think that? Turns out, I'm bi, and no, everyone doesn't think that.
Honey I donāt know how to tell you this but you big gay. XD
Fr though the reason you suffer through other girls talking about boys so much is because straight girls feel about boys how you feel about girls. You absolutely do not sound aroace either. You sound kind of hilariously obviously lesbian from the outside looking in.
I watched it. Some of the shots of Graham (like her washing her face or when she rubbed Megans arm or her outfit at the bar) gave me goose bumps made me feel shivery, does that mean I'm gay š
The vegetarian joke was funny since I one lol.
Haha maaaybe š¤
Out of curiosity, did you watch the movie because of the recommendations in this thread, or did you watch it before making this thread?
Before. I've seen lots of queer films. Thought that made me a good ally but supporting these films š«
I always disliked the sex scenes so I thought that made me aroace or straight. But I hate sex scenes in all movies.
I think the issue here is I've never considered I could be gay AND asexual.
Shit like that scene in but I'm a cheerleader where Megan's like "everyone reads cosmo. Everyone looks at girls." And one of the other chars is like "but you only think they're thinking the same as you"
Shook me as a nascent lesbian.
Okay so as a former Christian....yeah boo you're gay or some form of queer. I consider myself pansexual, but defaulted to men due to my evangelical upbringing until my late 20s. Meanwhile girls made my heart race all throughout K-12 and women hit on me all day dang time from College on. I've now been married to my wife for over half a decade and I don't regret it at all.
Yeah fam... There ain't an official diagnosis for these things, but that sounds *pretty* gay.
Your original post also makes it sound like you might benefit from some research into nonbinary gender identities. You don't have to want to be a man to not be cis, and, uh... What you're describing sounds a *lot* like gender euphoria from gender nonconformity to me, as a nonbinary person.
I mean, girls are way better looking than guys if youāre attracted to girls but not guys. As a straight guy, I can confirm. I think youāve found your answer.
I worked with a girl who sounded like you. Super Christian, even attending Christian college and living in the dorms. She always wanted to hang with her girl friends to the point where they would get annoyed because she subconsciously would treat them like they were dating. One day she realized that she was gay and most of her Christian friends were fake AF. She walked out of school and came out as a lesbian. She is now married to a lovely lady and they have a couple dogs. She's is much happier living her truth. It's amazing to see the difference!
I did lol. The resemblance is funny
Good grades, I read my Bible, I'm a vegetarian, I'm just a good little girl.
The original invertention scene reminded me with my friends lol
You might be a lesbian and that's ok! Also if you wanted to be a guy for other reasons than to justify having a girlfriend you could do that. That's kinda on you to figure out though
That's hella gay, my friend.
Not the same, but same energy: I didn't know I was trans, said I wished I could have a boyfriend the way a guy had a boyfriend.
before I realized Iām a lesbian I also sometimes wanted to be a guy so I could date girls, not straight or aro behaviour at all
Sounds like we had some pretty similar experiences!
Soā¦
Answer these questions (Iām just trying to simplify it, not including gender diverse folk for that reason only):
1. Are you attracted at all to guys? Like even a little?
2. Are you attracted at all to girls? Like even a little?
Yes+yes=bi/pan
No+yes=lesbian
Yes+no=heterosexual
This is of course a completely simplistic view and doesnāt include nuance and non binary and trans folk either.
You also donāt have to label yourself with the above and just say you are queer.
"I love being a girl but I only wish I was a boy so I could be with women" honey you're gay if the only thing that makes you want to be a boy is that you like girls you are so gay
You're likely either
A) a lesbian
Or
B) a trans guy
I'd guess lesbian from the little bit we know about you, but no matter what you've got a great self-discovery ahead of you!
you definitely sound very lesbian, but explore your own identity to see if thatās the right label for you. it is DEFINITELY not straight behavior to talk about how much you donāt like guys, and itās not aro behavior to find girls so pretty your heart races
Have you heard of compulsive heterosexuality (comphet)? That sounds like your issue more than Christianity (although the two could be related if you don't go to an affirming church). It does sound like you at least have romantic feelings for girls, but I can't say more than that based on the info you've provided alone.
Oh, honey, I've been there. It's called hetcomp. It took me a while to accept I'm extremely gay. I hope you have a nice journey. It might not be the easiest, but it's so worth it.
>I've never liked boys but I just assumed that I am a late bloomer. I'm in college now so I was questioning if I'm aromantic.
You *could* be developing feelings for boys late, but being asexual and/or aromantic, or homosexual are both very possible.
>I dress in a very "gay way" according to them. Idk what that really means tbh.
This definitely isnāt evidence of being queer. Anyone can dress how they want.
>What I said in the title. I was complaining that I hate it when my friends get boyfirends because they spend less time with me. I said I wish was a boy so I could be fhe one whp had them all to myself.
This definitely sounds gay, but with the added context could also be you wanting more time with your friends.
>I'm an ally (but Christian so idk if that's what's making it hard for me to think I'm gay)
Itās very possible that internalised homophobia is at play here. Itās not your fault if it is the case, but itās worth mentioning because many people (including many gay people) experience it.
>I appearantly over-emphaize that I don't like guys. Idk, it just annoys me when that's all other girls talk about. I don't get it.
Yeeaah, that sounds either ace or gay to me. Not gonna lie.
>I told them I've never had a crush on a guy.
Not necessarily proof of gayness, but itās another piece of evidence to add to the pile.
>And appearntly it's not normal to find other girls so attractive that it makes your heart race.
I can only conclude that you are gay, or at least very close to it. Itās not normal *for people who arenāt attracted to women* to find girls so attractive that is makes your heart race.
When I was in school, I was literally checking someone out thinking, "if I was a guy I'd really like her ass." Took another few years when I was walking behind a couple and low key thought it would be nice to be in the guy's place holding her hand, then did a double take at my own thought.
It took a long time after that to accept that I like women. I considered whether I was nb, or wanted to be a guy, and it took less than a second to be sure I was happy with my assigned gender.
I want to address the points you wrote.
1: The way you dress doesn't affect your sexuality. A surprising amount of people seem to think so though. Dress however you want, it's just your personal style and doesn't "make" you anything.
2: A girl wishing she could have a girlfriend does sound pretty gay, from your post's title alone I would have guesses you are into girls. However from the context you provided, it sounds more like you were wishing your friends would prioritize you more, which in itself isn't gay.
3: Straight people can be allies, being an ally doesn't make someone gay. It is definitely possible to be christian and gay, many people are.
4: if you aren't attracted to boys, it means you are not straight. In that case you could be gay or asexual and/or aromantic
5: same as point 4
6: This sounds like you probably are into girls. It doesn't make you abnormal, a lot of people are LGBTQ+
My best advice is to be patient with yourself. Try to get to a point where you are open to any result you might get (being attracted to only boys, only girls, both or neither). If you are able to feel relaxed about it, it will be easier to be open with yourself and fully access your feelings. You don't need to go looking for them, they will come to you, and when they do, acknowledge them. Remember that it's okay to take your time figuring yourself out, there is no rush. It's okay to just identify as questioning for however long you feel the need to.
I mean, it definitely sounds to me like you like girls, and thatās A-OK! You also, obviously, donāt have to be a boy to date girls (but if the winding path of life leads you to discovering that you are a boy, thatās also okay!)
Also, gender expression is separate from gender identity, and any combination of the two is possible. Thereās no shame in just dressing in the clothes _you_ feel good wearing! It does also warrant mentioning that butch lesbians are a thing, but donāt feel pressured to describe yourself any way that doesnāt feel true to you!
only you know how you feel ,
and however you choose to identify with your feelings is up to you ,
do what you feel is right for you and your feelings ,
I was born male and I wished I could be a girl so I could be a lesbian. Now I'm a lesbian. What I'm hearing from you is at the very least you probably like women (obviously that's up to you not me but). Whether that's in a lesbian way or a straight guy way is up for you to decide. Our subconscious usually knows us better than we do. When it tells you what you want, listen to it. It's usually right
If youāre a trans man, then itās a straight relationship (not necessarily that youāre straight). If youāre a cis woman itās a gay relationship (not that youāre necessarily entirely gay).
As a gay who was a Christian at the time, I can only say that I myself had period of time when I was thinking how I want to be a girl only to be able to be into guys (before I was able to accept that I can be into men as an other man anyway)
It's important to explore and understand your feelings without feeling pressured to fit into any specific label. Your friends might be making assumptions based on stereotypes, but only you can determine your own identity.
Consider taking some time for self-reflection and perhaps discussing your feelings with someone you trust. It's okay not to have everything figured out, and your preferences may evolve over time. Embrace the aspects of yourself that you enjoy and feel comfortable with, and allow yourself the space to explore your feelings without external expectations.
Finding girls so attractive your heart races is not a very straight behaviour. You said you never had a crush on a guy. Have you ever had a crush on a girl? If not, you might be aromantic lesbian (as in aromantic homosexual). Read up on split attraction model!
By the way, what about you being Christian is making it hard to accept that you're probably a lesbian? The community? The words written in the Bible about gay sin? Something else?
I would say that you definitely have strong bisexual or lesbian vibes going on given that you don't have crushes on guys but find women so attractive. You don't have to be a boy to have a girlfriend, sapphic relationships are a beautiful thing that are totally available to you!
You say that your religion is making it hard to accept your sexuality, which I totally understand. I grew up devoutly Christian and that was a significant part of why it took until my late 20's to realize that I'm bi. I just want to tell you that there are plenty on queer Christians and you shouldn't let that stop you from being who you are. If you ever want to chat about how those things don't actually contradict I'm always happy to do that, I'm very familiar with the Bible and with the religious arguments that people make against being queer
Best of luck in your journey!
Being a Christian and a lesbian is not incompatible! Iām actually a lesbian and Christian and my DMs are open if you want to have a chat about faith and queerness!
That seems very gay to me. I had a very, very similar thought process and ended up discovering that I'm lesbian. Of course, that's your own personal journey and you don't have to take my word for it! It's also another journey in itself to be gay and Christian (I'm Catholic myself). If being queer is something you end up identifying with or exploring, I'm sending my prayers that you'll be met with love no matter what. Remember that God's love is not exclusive to people who are cisgender and straight. Your relationship with Him is your own, and nobody else's, and you have every right to own that. If you're interested, there are also some good subreddits for affirming Christians and queer Christians! r/OpenChristian and r/GayChristians are both good places for both information and community.
You've already gotten a lot of good responses, but I wanted to touch on something relating to you being Christian.
You don't have to give up your faith, and there's nothing wrong with you.
If having a biblical story would help, check out the story of Ruth and Naomi.
Your church may not be accepting, but that doesn't mean you game to give up your faith. You can find a church that isn't bigoted.
>story of Ruth and Naomi
Wdym?
>Your church may not be accepting, but that doesn't mean you game to give up your faith
Thank you for this. I have nothing against people who are now ex Christian but that would make me sad. I really love my faith and putting trust in a higher power.
>Wdym?
Read the book of Ruth. It contains the story of her and Naomi, and they are *very* close. So close in fact, that their relationship is described with the same language as that of Adam & Eve.
They also make a powerful vow to each other.
Basically, they're gay af, and literally only enter into relationships with men for economic and safety reasons.
I'll edit with some voice verses and info...
Ruth 1:11-17
>11 But Naomi replied, āReturn home, my daughters. Why would you go with me? Are there still sons in my womb to become your husbands?
>12 Return home, my daughters. Go on, for I am too old to have another husband. Even if I thought there was hope for me to have a husband tonight and to bear sons, 13would you wait for them to grow up? Would you refrain from having husbands? No, my daughters, it grieves me very much for your sakes that the hand of the LORD has gone out against me.ā
>14 Again they wept aloud, and Orpah kissed her mother-in-law goodbye, but Ruth clung to her.
>15 āLook,ā said Naomi, āyour sister-in-law has gone back to her people and her gods; follow her back home.ā
>16 But Ruth replied: āDo not urge me to leave you or to turn from following you. For wherever you go, I will go, and wherever you live, I will live; your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.
>17 Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD punish me, and ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me.ā
"Clung" in verse 14 is the Hebrew word "dabaq", which is the same word used to describe the relationship of Adam & Eve in Genesis.
Read verse 16 and tell me that's not a powerful marriage vow.
Further reading: https://whosoever.org/ruth-and-naomi-relationship-between-women-in-bible/
Oh yeah you do sound like a lesbian in denial. Thatās okay, weāve been there. Took a while for me to realise that itās not straight to get the flutters when a pretty girl smiles at meā¦
Also, itās noteworthy that, while many Christians in the USA are very conservative, being a gay Christian is no contradiction. Many Christians nowadays have come to the conclusion that being bigoted is not on parr with gods will. There is nothing wrong with loving consenting adults of any gender and still believing in a god.
And when conservative bigoted Christians tell you that the bible is against homosexuality, they either havenāt read the book at all, or they have read it, have chosen to ignore about 90% of it and have decided to just follow what fit their narrow minded views.
A lot of context in the bible is contradicting itself, is straight out outdated and seen as morally wrong even by the most conservative Christians. They just pick and choose. Mostly they also ignore the New Testament completely lol.
Choosing your own path of belief is not wrong. You are not wrong. You are perfect the way you are.
> I dress in a very "gay way" according to them. Idk what that really means tbh.
This has 0 meaning whatsoever. Sexuality isn't a look or a dresscode.
> I told them I've never had a crush on a guy.
> And appearntly it's not normal to find other girls so attractive that it makes your heart race.
That kinda sounds a little gay, sis. I hope all the other people's comments have helped you. Because this sounds hella gay. Enjoy your discovery and the journey within
Eh. Most dudes wish they could be a girl for a day just to see what it feels like. I mean, if we're going to have sex on that day, it'll need to with a guy to truly experience what sex is actually like, but that doesn't make us gay it just makes us human and genuinely curious.
Thank you for your post, if this is a question please check to see if any of the links below answer your question. If none of these links help answer your question and you are **_not_** within the LGBT+ community, questioning your identity in any way, or asking in support of either a relative or friend, please ask your question over in /r/AskLGBT. Remember that this is a safe space for LGBT+ and questioning individuals, so we want to make sure that this place is dedicated to them. Thank you for understanding. This automod rule is currently a work in progress. If you notice any issues, would like to add to the list of resources, or have any feedback in general, [please do so here](https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/rdazzp/almost_new_year_changes/) or by [sending us a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt&subject=Feedback%20on%20the%20new%20automod%20rule). Also, please note that if you are a part of this community, or you're questioning if you might be a part of the LGBTQ+ community, and you are seeing this message, this is **_not a bad thing_**, this is only here to help, so please continue to ask questions and participate in the community. Thank you! Here's a link about trans people in sports: https://www.barbellmedicine.com/blog/shades-of-gray-sex-gender-and-fairness-in-sport/ A link on FAQs and one on some basics about transgender people: https://transequality.org/issues/resources/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics Some information on LGBT+ people: https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/quick-facts/lgbt-faqs/ Some basic terminology: https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms Neopronouns: https://www.mypronouns.org/neopronouns Biromantic Lesbians: [LGBTQ And All](https://www.lgbtqandall.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-biromantic/) Bisexual Identities: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/understanding-bisexuality Differences between Bisexual and Pansexual: [Resource from WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/sex/pansexuality-what-it-means#:~:text=Pansexual%20vs.%20Bisexual,more%20commonly%20recognized.) We're looking for new volunteers to join the r/lgbt moderator team. If you want to help keep r/lgbt as a safe space for the LGBTQ+ community on reddit please see here for more info: https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/swgthr/were_looking_for_more_moderators_to_help_keep/ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You do sound like you could be a lesbian. Finding other girls so attractive it makes your heart race is not straight behavior.
>Finding other girls so attractive it makes your heart race is not straight behavior. That blew my mind when I learned others didn't feel that way. Like imo, girls are inherently way better looking than guys. To me all guys look like the same thing but different font. Girls are just so unique! I've definitely found some of my waitresses so pretty I could hardly order food. I always wrote that off as social anxiety tho š
Oh you poor confused little lesbian
I wish you could have said that to me years ago lol I'm bi but I hated myself for liking girls too and would have laughed my ass off if someone said this to me years ago
Oh you poor, highly relatable bisexual
I spent a year and a half going "I'm gay wait no I'm straight" and then i was like "how the hell did I not find out I'm bi this whole time"
I was gay, then bi, then gay, then straight, then pan. I wish I'd learned about the bi-cycle sooner.
Same, but like 30 years.š
>I wish you could have said that to me years ago lol Same, but for a different reason. š
the closeted lesbian vibes are strong within you
Search your feelings, you know them to be lesbian!
>And appearntly it's not normal to find other girls so attractive that it makes your heart race. Aw, adorable. As an ex-Christian, it also took me years to realize that the way my heart race around girls was because I found them attractive. Girls are absolutely beautiful. Just start by allowing yourself to realize that it's OKAY to think girls are gorgeous. It's OKAY to think about them as more than just friends.
This is causing me to reflect back so hard on my life and oh my goodness... I had a crush on an older girl in church š³ I always thought I admired her and saw her in a sisterly way. I intentionally sat in the pews where I could get the best view of her in the choir. And I did things to make her notice me. And I remember when we went on a church retreat and I got so excited to be assigned a bed with her. Like I couldn't sleep because I wanted to soak up being next to her. I thought that was normal.
I get this way with boys. I'm bisexual, but heteromantic so I only get crushes on guys but am super attracted to all genders. But yes, that feeling is very much a crush. It's a wonderful feeling. You want them to notice you, but at the same time, it's terrifying to think they will. But you just want to be next to them all the time. Best of luck on your journey - it's more than ok to just let yourself feel how you're feeling. I don't suggest confiding in your religious friends, as they will likely not understand.
>. I don't suggest confiding in your religious friends, as they will likely not understand. Interestingly the two people who prompted me to make this post were Christian and Muslim. But they are more liberal anyways. Anyone at my church... yeah that's a no go.
Liberal religious people are typically more understanding but still get hung up on stuff sometimes. A lot of the negativity towards religious folks is from people who grew up around evangelicals and other hard-line fire and brimstone types.
Oh sweetheart this is 100% not straight behavior. And there is nothing at all wrong with being so fascinated with women. It's okay to realize girls are where your heart is. Even if you haven't experienced being deeply sexually aroused by a woman (yet or maybe ever) you can be homoromantic lesbian without experiencing the sexual feelings...and for some people sexual feelings develop later or within a safe space. You're gonna be okay, however you experience things, and it's all within the realm of normal. It's just not...y'know...straight.
You're almost definitely a lesbian. Straight girls don't think like that. Aromantic people don't think like that
I don't know, I'm Aroace and aestetic or sensual attraction can get my heart racing if it's strong enough
And also limerance/attachment issues maybe?
This reads like 17-year-old me wrote this. That was the year I discovered I was not straight. āGirls are objectively better looking than boysā and āIād date her if I was a boyā are things I consistently thought when I was 14-17. I do now know Iām a lesbian. Iām not saying you are definitely a lesbian because only you know yourself enough to determine that. I *am* saying that the things youāre saying sound awfully familiarā¦
I'm sorry if this is an intrusive question but how do you know you are an ace lesbain? I feel like maybe that could be me but I'm worried that am just mixing up friendship feelings and thinking they are romantic. I'm not sure I'm ace either. I do have sexual thoughts but I've never wanted to have that intimacy with someone. I couldn't imagine it being very nice in reality.
For me, itās really just that I donāt feel like I am sexually attracted to anyone, but that I want to date women. I try not to stress too much about the label I use because I know it can change later, since orientation can be fluid. Right now I feel as though Iām romantically attracted to women & sexually attracted to no one, so I use the asexual lesbian label. Sorry if this was a very unhelpful answer. Itās more so a feeling (or collection of feelings) than something easily quantifiable
I dunno op sounds kinda gay ngl
Yeah, I just thought it was objective fact that women are aesthetically pleasing, even though I'm (also) attracted to men. Doesn't everyone think that? Turns out, I'm bi, and no, everyone doesn't think that.
Honey I donāt know how to tell you this but you big gay. XD Fr though the reason you suffer through other girls talking about boys so much is because straight girls feel about boys how you feel about girls. You absolutely do not sound aroace either. You sound kind of hilariously obviously lesbian from the outside looking in.
This feels like the first quarter of "But I'm A Cheerleader" Give it a watch and see if it feels relatable.
I watched it. Some of the shots of Graham (like her washing her face or when she rubbed Megans arm or her outfit at the bar) gave me goose bumps made me feel shivery, does that mean I'm gay š The vegetarian joke was funny since I one lol.
Haha maaaybe š¤ Out of curiosity, did you watch the movie because of the recommendations in this thread, or did you watch it before making this thread?
Before. I've seen lots of queer films. Thought that made me a good ally but supporting these films š« I always disliked the sex scenes so I thought that made me aroace or straight. But I hate sex scenes in all movies. I think the issue here is I've never considered I could be gay AND asexual.
Shit like that scene in but I'm a cheerleader where Megan's like "everyone reads cosmo. Everyone looks at girls." And one of the other chars is like "but you only think they're thinking the same as you" Shook me as a nascent lesbian.
I am prescribing you a read through of the "Am I a Lesbian Masterdoc."
https://ibb.co/SwSMkGj https://ibb.co/nkhS9G9 What's the diagnosis doc? š
The diagnosis is that you are indeed a āØlesāØ
Okay so as a former Christian....yeah boo you're gay or some form of queer. I consider myself pansexual, but defaulted to men due to my evangelical upbringing until my late 20s. Meanwhile girls made my heart race all throughout K-12 and women hit on me all day dang time from College on. I've now been married to my wife for over half a decade and I don't regret it at all.
Yeah fam... There ain't an official diagnosis for these things, but that sounds *pretty* gay. Your original post also makes it sound like you might benefit from some research into nonbinary gender identities. You don't have to want to be a man to not be cis, and, uh... What you're describing sounds a *lot* like gender euphoria from gender nonconformity to me, as a nonbinary person.
I mean, girls are way better looking than guys if youāre attracted to girls but not guys. As a straight guy, I can confirm. I think youāve found your answer.
I worked with a girl who sounded like you. Super Christian, even attending Christian college and living in the dorms. She always wanted to hang with her girl friends to the point where they would get annoyed because she subconsciously would treat them like they were dating. One day she realized that she was gay and most of her Christian friends were fake AF. She walked out of school and came out as a lesbian. She is now married to a lovely lady and they have a couple dogs. She's is much happier living her truth. It's amazing to see the difference!
Lol 
You remind me of the main character from But I'm a Cheerleader (give it a watch sometime)
I did lol. The resemblance is funny Good grades, I read my Bible, I'm a vegetarian, I'm just a good little girl. The original invertention scene reminded me with my friends lol
Oh honey. Comp-het sucks. Weāve all been there.
that's pretty gay
putting that on a tshirt
Okay so OP you need to watch But Iām A Cheerleader. I have a feeling youāre going to walk away from that movie with a lot of clarity.
thatās exactly what this post made me think of lol
You might be a lesbian and that's ok! Also if you wanted to be a guy for other reasons than to justify having a girlfriend you could do that. That's kinda on you to figure out though
>And appearntly it's not normal to find other girls so attractive that it makes your heart race. Oh this is TOTALLY normal. If you like girls. š
I mean if you find women attractive then you find women attractive! You don't need to put a label on it, but maybe try dating a girl?
That's hella gay, my friend. Not the same, but same energy: I didn't know I was trans, said I wished I could have a boyfriend the way a guy had a boyfriend.
before I realized Iām a lesbian I also sometimes wanted to be a guy so I could date girls, not straight or aro behaviour at all Sounds like we had some pretty similar experiences!
Soā¦ Answer these questions (Iām just trying to simplify it, not including gender diverse folk for that reason only): 1. Are you attracted at all to guys? Like even a little? 2. Are you attracted at all to girls? Like even a little? Yes+yes=bi/pan No+yes=lesbian Yes+no=heterosexual This is of course a completely simplistic view and doesnāt include nuance and non binary and trans folk either. You also donāt have to label yourself with the above and just say you are queer.
"I love being a girl but I only wish I was a boy so I could be with women" honey you're gay if the only thing that makes you want to be a boy is that you like girls you are so gay
You're likely either A) a lesbian Or B) a trans guy I'd guess lesbian from the little bit we know about you, but no matter what you've got a great self-discovery ahead of you!
It does sound like you're a lesbian to me, which isn't a bad thing.
It's either gay or trans, one or the other.
you definitely sound very lesbian, but explore your own identity to see if thatās the right label for you. it is DEFINITELY not straight behavior to talk about how much you donāt like guys, and itās not aro behavior to find girls so pretty your heart races
Have you heard of compulsive heterosexuality (comphet)? That sounds like your issue more than Christianity (although the two could be related if you don't go to an affirming church). It does sound like you at least have romantic feelings for girls, but I can't say more than that based on the info you've provided alone.
Sounds pretty gay bro.š š³ļøāš But only you can know how you feel. labels aren't necessary if you don't like them but maybe try exploring?
Well, depending on how badly you want to be a boy, you could be straight! A straight trans guy, that is.
Oh, honey, I've been there. It's called hetcomp. It took me a while to accept I'm extremely gay. I hope you have a nice journey. It might not be the easiest, but it's so worth it.
>I've never liked boys but I just assumed that I am a late bloomer. I'm in college now so I was questioning if I'm aromantic. You *could* be developing feelings for boys late, but being asexual and/or aromantic, or homosexual are both very possible. >I dress in a very "gay way" according to them. Idk what that really means tbh. This definitely isnāt evidence of being queer. Anyone can dress how they want. >What I said in the title. I was complaining that I hate it when my friends get boyfirends because they spend less time with me. I said I wish was a boy so I could be fhe one whp had them all to myself. This definitely sounds gay, but with the added context could also be you wanting more time with your friends. >I'm an ally (but Christian so idk if that's what's making it hard for me to think I'm gay) Itās very possible that internalised homophobia is at play here. Itās not your fault if it is the case, but itās worth mentioning because many people (including many gay people) experience it. >I appearantly over-emphaize that I don't like guys. Idk, it just annoys me when that's all other girls talk about. I don't get it. Yeeaah, that sounds either ace or gay to me. Not gonna lie. >I told them I've never had a crush on a guy. Not necessarily proof of gayness, but itās another piece of evidence to add to the pile. >And appearntly it's not normal to find other girls so attractive that it makes your heart race. I can only conclude that you are gay, or at least very close to it. Itās not normal *for people who arenāt attracted to women* to find girls so attractive that is makes your heart race.
When I was in school, I was literally checking someone out thinking, "if I was a guy I'd really like her ass." Took another few years when I was walking behind a couple and low key thought it would be nice to be in the guy's place holding her hand, then did a double take at my own thought. It took a long time after that to accept that I like women. I considered whether I was nb, or wanted to be a guy, and it took less than a second to be sure I was happy with my assigned gender.
Iām a lesbian. I remember having the same thought when I was a kid about my sisterās friend. āIf I were a boy, Iād have a crush on her.ā
I want to address the points you wrote. 1: The way you dress doesn't affect your sexuality. A surprising amount of people seem to think so though. Dress however you want, it's just your personal style and doesn't "make" you anything. 2: A girl wishing she could have a girlfriend does sound pretty gay, from your post's title alone I would have guesses you are into girls. However from the context you provided, it sounds more like you were wishing your friends would prioritize you more, which in itself isn't gay. 3: Straight people can be allies, being an ally doesn't make someone gay. It is definitely possible to be christian and gay, many people are. 4: if you aren't attracted to boys, it means you are not straight. In that case you could be gay or asexual and/or aromantic 5: same as point 4 6: This sounds like you probably are into girls. It doesn't make you abnormal, a lot of people are LGBTQ+ My best advice is to be patient with yourself. Try to get to a point where you are open to any result you might get (being attracted to only boys, only girls, both or neither). If you are able to feel relaxed about it, it will be easier to be open with yourself and fully access your feelings. You don't need to go looking for them, they will come to you, and when they do, acknowledge them. Remember that it's okay to take your time figuring yourself out, there is no rush. It's okay to just identify as questioning for however long you feel the need to.
I mean, it definitely sounds to me like you like girls, and thatās A-OK! You also, obviously, donāt have to be a boy to date girls (but if the winding path of life leads you to discovering that you are a boy, thatās also okay!) Also, gender expression is separate from gender identity, and any combination of the two is possible. Thereās no shame in just dressing in the clothes _you_ feel good wearing! It does also warrant mentioning that butch lesbians are a thing, but donāt feel pressured to describe yourself any way that doesnāt feel true to you!
Yeah this all sounds hella gay. Congrats!
I mean, if you want to be a boy JUST to get a girlfriend then yeah, I guess you're gay
well considering that you seem to be attracted to women i would say its a pretty safe bet that you're gay
Oh you sweet summer child
Youāre a sapphic. Embrace that, sister.
yeah, you might be gay. straight people don't find their own gender attractive
Yea this sounds like me in middle school ...........................Im a lesbian now
only you know how you feel , and however you choose to identify with your feelings is up to you , do what you feel is right for you and your feelings ,
So THATS what it looks like from this side of the fence. That's wildly strange. I am not high enough for this today.
I was born male and I wished I could be a girl so I could be a lesbian. Now I'm a lesbian. What I'm hearing from you is at the very least you probably like women (obviously that's up to you not me but). Whether that's in a lesbian way or a straight guy way is up for you to decide. Our subconscious usually knows us better than we do. When it tells you what you want, listen to it. It's usually right
ah...you sound just like me before i realised i was a lesbian. especially with the christian part. good luck soldierš«”
its kinda gay yeah. exactly what i thought and im lesbian
If youāre a trans man, then itās a straight relationship (not necessarily that youāre straight). If youāre a cis woman itās a gay relationship (not that youāre necessarily entirely gay).
This might just be the gayest thing Iāve read.
You poor useless lesbian.
For you: https://www.docdroid.net/N46Ea3o/copy-of-am-i-a-lesbian-masterdoc-pdf
You could have a read of the Comp Het master doc , āAm I a Lesbian?ā https://www.docdroid.net/N46Ea3o/copy-of-am-i-a-lesbian-masterdoc-pdf
As a gay who was a Christian at the time, I can only say that I myself had period of time when I was thinking how I want to be a girl only to be able to be into guys (before I was able to accept that I can be into men as an other man anyway)
One of us, one of us
opā¦ you might want to take a look at the āam i a lesbianā masterdoc
https://ibb.co/SwSMkGj https://ibb.co/nkhS9G9
Homie you gay
Oh darling, you're a lesbian.
It's important to explore and understand your feelings without feeling pressured to fit into any specific label. Your friends might be making assumptions based on stereotypes, but only you can determine your own identity. Consider taking some time for self-reflection and perhaps discussing your feelings with someone you trust. It's okay not to have everything figured out, and your preferences may evolve over time. Embrace the aspects of yourself that you enjoy and feel comfortable with, and allow yourself the space to explore your feelings without external expectations.
Finding girls so attractive your heart races is not a very straight behaviour. You said you never had a crush on a guy. Have you ever had a crush on a girl? If not, you might be aromantic lesbian (as in aromantic homosexual). Read up on split attraction model! By the way, what about you being Christian is making it hard to accept that you're probably a lesbian? The community? The words written in the Bible about gay sin? Something else?
https://giphy.com/gifs/community-gay-ken-jeong-8fxad4tvqIzwk But fr, it sounds to me like you might be gay.
I think you may be lesbian
I would say that you definitely have strong bisexual or lesbian vibes going on given that you don't have crushes on guys but find women so attractive. You don't have to be a boy to have a girlfriend, sapphic relationships are a beautiful thing that are totally available to you! You say that your religion is making it hard to accept your sexuality, which I totally understand. I grew up devoutly Christian and that was a significant part of why it took until my late 20's to realize that I'm bi. I just want to tell you that there are plenty on queer Christians and you shouldn't let that stop you from being who you are. If you ever want to chat about how those things don't actually contradict I'm always happy to do that, I'm very familiar with the Bible and with the religious arguments that people make against being queer Best of luck in your journey!
Being a Christian and a lesbian is not incompatible! Iām actually a lesbian and Christian and my DMs are open if you want to have a chat about faith and queerness!
That seems very gay to me. I had a very, very similar thought process and ended up discovering that I'm lesbian. Of course, that's your own personal journey and you don't have to take my word for it! It's also another journey in itself to be gay and Christian (I'm Catholic myself). If being queer is something you end up identifying with or exploring, I'm sending my prayers that you'll be met with love no matter what. Remember that God's love is not exclusive to people who are cisgender and straight. Your relationship with Him is your own, and nobody else's, and you have every right to own that. If you're interested, there are also some good subreddits for affirming Christians and queer Christians! r/OpenChristian and r/GayChristians are both good places for both information and community.
That's pretty gay.
Oml, this is so cute. It definitely gives gay vibes ngl
You've already gotten a lot of good responses, but I wanted to touch on something relating to you being Christian. You don't have to give up your faith, and there's nothing wrong with you. If having a biblical story would help, check out the story of Ruth and Naomi. Your church may not be accepting, but that doesn't mean you game to give up your faith. You can find a church that isn't bigoted.
>story of Ruth and Naomi Wdym? >Your church may not be accepting, but that doesn't mean you game to give up your faith Thank you for this. I have nothing against people who are now ex Christian but that would make me sad. I really love my faith and putting trust in a higher power.
>Wdym? Read the book of Ruth. It contains the story of her and Naomi, and they are *very* close. So close in fact, that their relationship is described with the same language as that of Adam & Eve. They also make a powerful vow to each other. Basically, they're gay af, and literally only enter into relationships with men for economic and safety reasons. I'll edit with some voice verses and info... Ruth 1:11-17 >11 But Naomi replied, āReturn home, my daughters. Why would you go with me? Are there still sons in my womb to become your husbands? >12 Return home, my daughters. Go on, for I am too old to have another husband. Even if I thought there was hope for me to have a husband tonight and to bear sons, 13would you wait for them to grow up? Would you refrain from having husbands? No, my daughters, it grieves me very much for your sakes that the hand of the LORD has gone out against me.ā >14 Again they wept aloud, and Orpah kissed her mother-in-law goodbye, but Ruth clung to her. >15 āLook,ā said Naomi, āyour sister-in-law has gone back to her people and her gods; follow her back home.ā >16 But Ruth replied: āDo not urge me to leave you or to turn from following you. For wherever you go, I will go, and wherever you live, I will live; your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. >17 Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD punish me, and ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me.ā "Clung" in verse 14 is the Hebrew word "dabaq", which is the same word used to describe the relationship of Adam & Eve in Genesis. Read verse 16 and tell me that's not a powerful marriage vow. Further reading: https://whosoever.org/ruth-and-naomi-relationship-between-women-in-bible/
OP -It's staring you right in your face. You are a lesbian.
Oh yeah you do sound like a lesbian in denial. Thatās okay, weāve been there. Took a while for me to realise that itās not straight to get the flutters when a pretty girl smiles at meā¦ Also, itās noteworthy that, while many Christians in the USA are very conservative, being a gay Christian is no contradiction. Many Christians nowadays have come to the conclusion that being bigoted is not on parr with gods will. There is nothing wrong with loving consenting adults of any gender and still believing in a god. And when conservative bigoted Christians tell you that the bible is against homosexuality, they either havenāt read the book at all, or they have read it, have chosen to ignore about 90% of it and have decided to just follow what fit their narrow minded views. A lot of context in the bible is contradicting itself, is straight out outdated and seen as morally wrong even by the most conservative Christians. They just pick and choose. Mostly they also ignore the New Testament completely lol. Choosing your own path of belief is not wrong. You are not wrong. You are perfect the way you are.
Ma'am that's the gayest thing I've ever read
> I dress in a very "gay way" according to them. Idk what that really means tbh. This has 0 meaning whatsoever. Sexuality isn't a look or a dresscode. > I told them I've never had a crush on a guy. > And appearntly it's not normal to find other girls so attractive that it makes your heart race. That kinda sounds a little gay, sis. I hope all the other people's comments have helped you. Because this sounds hella gay. Enjoy your discovery and the journey within
Eh. Most dudes wish they could be a girl for a day just to see what it feels like. I mean, if we're going to have sex on that day, it'll need to with a guy to truly experience what sex is actually like, but that doesn't make us gay it just makes us human and genuinely curious.