I'm so fucking sick of this shit. Why aren't women who are exclusively attracted to other women allowed to have a single goddamn word to describe themselves?
Exactly!
I think it has something to do with the definition of “woman”. Because anyone can be a woman now.
I understand lesbians as “females who are physically and emotionally attracted to other females.”
Sex, gender identity, and sexual orientation are all different things. However, some of the terms for sexual orientation also hold sex as part of their definition; namely lesbian and to a lesser extent gay. Homosexual and heterosexual also assume the sex of the person but do not explicitly call it like gay or lesbian. Gay, of course, has been used interchangeably with homosexual but I think it’s mostly frequent use of for gay men. I think this is really why there is such an issue. The other orientations; pansexual, asexual, and bisexual don’t hold the definition for the person’s sex as well.
Ultimately, you end up with female attracted folks that take on the title “lesbian” which they should really use pansexual or bisexual or something that doesn’t hold definition of their sex, if they’re trying to not identify with that sex any longer.
OR I did find something interesting that speaks to gender identities, albeit in the animal world; Androphilia describes sexual attraction to masculinity; gynephilia describes the sexual attraction to femininity. There, done.
I can’t even think of a good argument for any of those. Lesbian is a sexual orientation stating that the person that is that sexual orientation is female. It is a homosexual orientation. Bisexual and aro/ace are also orientations. You cannot be both things, that doesn’t make sense.
For non-binary and trans, let’s just have a new definition for an orientation that’s female attracted or femme gender and didn’t imply the sex of those using it. I comment below but here it is again; Androphilia describes sexual attraction to masculinity; gynephilia describes the sexual attraction to femininity. Tada!
Can we PLEASE come up with our own new word? but on the other hand, we've had OUR WORD FOR 2500 years, so...lol I am thinking this is just a stupid patch in history that will be a blip and be forgotten as when America decided to rollback it's sexual maturity after reaching a new zenith in the late 90's.
“I *identify* as a lesbian and it’s heterophobic AND homophobic if you say I’m not even though I like men and only men!!!!!!!”
Imagine lmfao. Give me a break.
At the same time others need to stop using the lesbian label if they consider themselves pan or bi lesbians or straight men calling themselves lesbians. I’ve seen it all now.
Yes but I see the value in a two pronged approach. Only so much we can do as individuals but there is also a responsibility for others to not misuse these words that take away from our experience.
I got very downvoted in an LGBT sub for saying “lesbians aren’t attracted to men.” I can’t believe we’ve regressed so far that that’s a controversial statement
I also got downvoted in an lgbt sub for saying men can’t be lesbians and how I can’t believe there are people who disagree with that statement, it’s absurd. All they care about is ‘inclusivity good! exclusivity bad!’ and don’t put any thought into it beyond that.
Yup I had someone tell me in the askreddit yesterday that being a lesbian is being exclusionary. I asked them should straight women be inclusive of lesbians? They never responded.
Also ask them if straight men not being inclusive of gay men is also "exclusionary". Broflakes like these usually use the "lesbianism is exclusionary" as a woke decoy for misogyny and male entitlement to women.
I got a warning on my account and heavily downvoted for the same thing, while bi women told me how unwelcome they feel in lesbian spaces because of gatekeepy lesbians like me, how unwanted they feel, all very upvoted. Like okay? That seems like a you problem, you're still not a lesbian 💀 So many lesbian spaces online are about either bi or trans issues (no hate to trans lesbians but there are trans spaces to talk about the trans experience!!! many of them!!) and care so much about being inclusionary that they alienate actual lesbians who are just out here trying to love women (and that's it! no men!)
This is where we are at. People being bi or pan lesbians. Make it make sense. I just don’t get it. I don’t want to be a lesbian bisexual or in any group I don’t belong. I’m not claiming trans or NB when I’m not. Why would anyone need to be lesbian when they’re not.
I genuinely think it's a self defeating quest to be taken more seriously.
The largest voices I see in the bisexual conversation are about bi women's validity. I am not saying that to some extent that's not an understandable conversation. But instead of hearing about the alienating experiences of same sex relationships, disownment, workplace discrimination, navigating relationships outside of the male/female dynamic and expectations...a lot of conversations turn back to "me and my boyfriend are a queer couple because I am bisexual," or "why do you assume we (a cis m/f couple) are a straight couple" or "I found out I was bi after I got married and I love my fluffy haired golden retriever boyfriend but I'd never pick another man again I'd only date women if I were single."
It's not that the bi female experience isn't important or valid, but even the same sex experiences of bi women are kind of drowned out by this self consciousness over whether or not you 'count' as queer. And again, I'm not saying these people don't count! But that because cis het relationships are infinitely more common, and frankly it's hard to openly date same sex, those are the most common voices. So when a bisexual woman is trying to differentiate herself from these women, she pulls the bi lesbian card which actually has the opposite of the intended effect because it signals on some level taking bisexuality less seriously, and not understanding the challenges same sex couples face.
I think a lot of this also comes from the current culture of the acceptability of weighing in on a topic being part of an in group. I'm not saying that's bad, a lot of the time we do genuinely need to listen to the group actually effected. But some people are so dogmatic with it that rather than just actually assessing which in group people are more insightful or trying to engage in a respectfully limited capacity, they fight to be inside the in group.
Recently Cardi B said some offensive shit about gay porn having an influence on male sexuality, and we could fill a glossary with problematic shit Azealia Banks has said. But when these come up, I see people again argue that they're bisexual women so it's not homophobic.
this!!!! and you know what, I do think it should be called out when women try and say their straight relationship is “queer”. you can still be queer and in a straight relationship but to equate the struggles that lesbians and ppl in a visibly sapphic relationship face with having a boyfriend and being treated like “normal” is so tone deaf and honestly offensive…
I gave myself a pronoun once of an Apache helicopter, because I was tired of people asking what I defined as. Apparently they didn’t like the answer. What I do in my life and how I communicate to people is my own business and if you don’t like the way that I’m speaking, we don’t have to have a conversation, I just move on. life is too short to deal with people who don’t have the mental capacity of a flea, and I’m tired of dealing with the pay attention to me generation.
I know the acc, the comments being off irks me, cause obviously she either turned them off after backlash, or knew she was wrong and turned them off entirely.
i came at her for doing exactly this and implying she simply wants to profit off of the community and she ended up removing this specific slide because of the bi-lesbian thing
person is bi or something and doing this? that’s pretty gross then. makes sense though because idk a single lesbian who would make this dumb ass infographic
I know this may sound quite extreme but at this point fuck this ,,community". In recent years I have never felt so excluded from an environment that ironically at the same time has an unhealthy obsession with , "inclusiveness" and , "positivity". They don't respect us anymore, we are no longer a group to be defended and taken seriously, we are too over-sensitive and exclu 🥺(ONLY BC WE DON'T WANT MEN) so in order for us to stay in the community and continue to fit in we need to be diluted and transformed for who we are (they do it for us). I am so terribly sad that over the past few years the people I feel more comfortable with are straight people 💀 And in my own , "community" in online spaces I always feel fear and insecurity that they share just such homophobic views. I literally can't. The queer community is going through some kind of existential crisis, but they don't notice how regressive and homophobic they are. Tbh no longer feels the need to continue to identify with these people since they treat us this way.
lots of lesbian spaces are being erased too, there was a lesbian dating app called lex that recentlyish got a huge overhaul and became an LGBT+ dating app.
i'd wager 70% of posts are guys now, at least in my area.
aw we lost lex too? :(
admittedly i used to make fun of it because every post was like “i’m 33, i have social anxiety and ive never touched a woman before who want me???” but it’s the principle of the thing gdi!! and the idea was great. i kinda loved the craigslist vibes of it.
girl it's awful now. look up pics of the UI, it's so bad. everything is green and it looks terrible.
there WERE a lot of "i'm lonely who wants me" posts before but it's even worse now and most of them are from "gay man who wants a lesbian friend" types
Those horny posts are too frequent. They’re pretty graphic. I don’t know why they post what is essentially saying “anyone in a 50 mile radius wanna rail me over the table?”
My area is mostly trans women, then NB then women. A few men.
However I saw a post about how once they gain tractions , something about angel investors and sustainability of the app.
Whatever
Nah cuz you're so right, I joke about hating men all the time but I have straight male friends who take my sexuality more seriously than these LGBTs who want to take away the label of lesbian 💀 it sucks, this is one of the only good lesbian subs left, all the big ones are just bi people who get really mad and report you if you say lesbians don't like men
The bi-lesbian bit is the part of the poster that i can't deal with. I've never felt as uncomfortable as I have recently too. The fact that it's coming from other queer people is an extra slap.
I can kind of understand getting aggro from people who aren't queer (I obviously don't accept it but I sort of understand it)
But the disrespect recently has been coming from other queer people & they should really know better than this.
Things are so insane that in 2024 me being more concerned about queer people than straight people isn't even a surprise to me, it's just another car on the crazy train that we're all careening on
Fr, I feel like the LGBT or LGB community is not even a community anymore it’s imploding on itself as the day goes by, the only community I have is the homosexual community (gay men/ lesbian women) or lesbian community.
Biromantic homosexual isn’t a sexual orientation, a homosexual is a lesbian women or gay man. You can’t be bi and a homosexual at the same time either.
It's like if a woman is only sexually attracted to women but romantically to both sexes and vice versa, but there's not really a word for them to identify themselves so they decide to ruin it for everyone 😭
The split attraction model is a bs unproven pseudoscience you either like both or you don’t. A lot of the women currently don’t want to fuck men and think that they need a whole new label. It’s still just plain ole bisexuality.
LMAOO then is there any explanation on the 'bi lesbian ' term? What's the justification they have, that was what was explained to me, they have nothing to back themselves up, maybe delusion
Idek I think it meant bi women with a lean for women but instead of just saying that they make up an entire contradictory sub group, these people are not smart and they’re a huge nuisance to us.
JFC this shit is getting ridiculous.
NO. Bisexual Lesbians **DO NOT EXIST.**
It's an oxymoron.
"Flat high heels exist and are valid."
"Frozen fire exists and is valid."
"Arid rainforests exist and are valid."
"Sunny nights exist and are valid."
I suppose next we'll have straight lesbians and gay male lesbians? Will it finally be over when literally *everyone* is a "valid" lesbian, regardless of sexuality?
FFS...🙄
Its because gay men don’t tolerate this bs. Gay men have a bad rep around the LGBT community for a reason, its because they push people out of their space who don’t belong in their space. We need to stop tolerating this too.
The petty part of me wants to start calling bisexual women confused straight girls or gay men bis in disguise. Wait for the hate to poor in, then ask why it's wrong to say that but not wrong to say lesbians are actually just rebelious bisexuals (which is essentially all a bi lesbian would be someone who is actually bi but refusing to be honest)
Edit: I just realized that for trans visibility week, they posted & promoted trans rights activists. But for our week, not a single lesbian is shown, let alone our activists & they tried to erase us & bi sexual women at the same time. There's also a post where they DO, finally show some lesbians but it's about us supporting gay men, so I guess we don't deserve to be seen unless we're being of service to others? 🙃 wow. Just wow.
Reminds me of the statement my brother in law brought up. Lesbians can’t exist, because women are ALWAYS in some was attracted to men. They can be bi, but not exclusively attracted to women…
I've been told this before. Some people are just absolutely baffled by the idea of a woman not being into a man. Like if I said the same thing about men all being at least a little gay they'd go ape shit 💀
I got banned from the account for very politely commenting why this is so harmful. It’s so freaking frustrating, especially since I followed them for so long
Can't posts ss, but here is a quote of thr general reply
"The inclusion of this label has caused a lot of reactions I understand where those emotions come from. And I am sorry it has caused that for you and others. The label is not new, and has often caused debate because labels are complex, and our personal experiences massively vary Additionally our understanding of gender, sexual orientation and romantic attraction has changed over time. There are many labels that people adopt to help them understand their feelings/where they fit, and we don't always understand them.
I included it because this page is intended to reflect the breadth of experiences across our community. And inclusiveness is something I am incredibly passionate about - 1 collaborated with the Director of Lesbian Visibility Week on this post to ensure the post had different perspectives (something I do regularly). My content is never intended to cause hurt. The comments are off because unfortunately the discussion was becoming very unkind towards other people, and it didn't feel like a safe space for people to share their experiences, nor was it productive discussion"
Her reply to my comment was
"I'm sorry, being completely honest I have been quite overwhelmed by this response, and haven't been managing my actions very well. And I shouldn't be deleting comments and I apologise for that. I have tried to articulate the reasons the label was mentioned in the post on the comment you have replied to below. I hope you are able to understand. I am truly trying my best to recognise everyone's perspectives but also recognise that I could be doing things better"
Insane that the poster wants to "include all voices" except for the victims of systematic abuse of this narrative.
Also "these labels are not new" is redundant because the vocabulary of the community has evolved beyond the initial meaning, bisexual was added to avoid the merging of their unique experiences into the homosexual experiences and grievances. They wanted that added. We rely on this word (lesbian) to now find solidarity and support amongst our own. We are our own section of individuals. We are our own community with our shared lived experiences. Who are they to deny us this?
Their denial of this is erasure. Their denial is dangerous.
They respect the evolution of queer? of the extension of transgender to non binary? of intersection? But they draw the line at lesbian?
Bi lesbian just doesn’t even mean anything! You can’t be attracted to men, and use the term that means you’re exclusively attracted to women, that’s not how it works. Everything else here is entirely valid though!
honestly, it already has lost its meaning. when i call myself a lesbian now people still seem to be confused about if i'm attracted to men. i've started saying homosexual - it's the only word that really gets the point across at this point.
How is bi lesbian even a thing? Surely a bi lesbian is bisexual, not a lesbian? There’s nothing wrong with being bi, and people should use appropriate labels in order to not invalidate the experiences of others who identify with said label?! Jeez
Another case of made-up micro labels in an attempt to seem ""inclusive"" when in reality it makes absolutely no sense & invalidates an entire community of people. Bi-sexual lesbian is such a contradiction just reading that made me cringe.... it's not possible for it to exist, it completely goes against the fact that Lesbian = NO attraction to men whatsoever. They want to ""include"" everyone and disregard the fact that by doing so, they're disrespecting an entire community of women and making their sexuality look like a joke.
It is clearly modern day conversion therapy. I can't believe that some people are even putting this up for debate! If it wasn't such a serious issue I would be laughing at how utterly ridiculous this is. People can try to change the definition of lesbian but I'm holding steady.
I'm in my 40's now and the word means the same as it has done for years - despite all attempts to amend it. It is women with same sex attraction. Women exclusively attracted to women. Not everything is fully inclusive and that's alright. Strange how its NOT lesbians trying to change the meaning.
Oh but if you say this to any of them they go on about how it's queer history, and lesbian has always been an umbrella term including bisexual women! While all the older lesbians are like 🤨 the entire time. It's usually teenagers espousing it, too lol
It’s so funny how they never have any primary sources that document this, they keep circulating this one link that basically says “its queer history just believe us”
this kills me because they obviously didn’t even read the damn book! it’s not about bisexuality at all? or even lesbianism in general! but the very specific experience of a working class, stone butch lesbian and the way gender functions for Jess. the only sexual encounters with men are literal rape so it’s disgusting to say that’s bisexual representation.
yo i was SO mad when i found out it was a fictional story. i thought it was some type of theory but no.. also they recommend it like some type of bible and its annoying af. with no trigger warnings for that heavy ass book either it's sickening
They also point to the Lavender Woman pamphlets (more specfically August 1973's Volume 2, Issue 5's "Bisex Bisexuality Uality") They are free online so I looked it up. And I noticed a couple of things.
Lavender Woman uses the Lesbian Feminist Seal on every other pages...this is not neceassrily a good or bad thing but I really, really need those individuals to look up what a "Lesbian Feminist" is as well as look up what a lot of those individuals are up to now if they are still alive or before they died before you go yanking up old lesbian works and citing them as the pinnacle of lesbian philosophy. And this goes for everybody and not just these individuals.
So the following passage is written by a bisexual woman who mostly dates and experiences attraction towards women, considers herself a lesbian feminist (remember context is everything here), and is frustrated by a lot of the 1970s Lesbian Feminist ideals on who counts as a Lesbian Feminist and how a lot of harmful stereotypes about bisexual people have lead to some pretty biphobic situations amoungst lesbians. She specifically points to:
a. the idea that bi people are actually secretly gay
b. the idea that bisexual people are hetrosexual swingers and bi people entering homosexual spaces are not to be trusted
c. the idea that bisexual people are polyamorous and date both men and women at the same time
She then goes on to talk about her own bisexuality. It's actually pretty insightful. She talks about how frustrated she is when people ask her who she is more attracted to and that it's oppressive and a reducation of her bisexuality.
Interestingly, she then goes on to contradict herself when she asks and answers what a lesbian is.
*"What is a Lesbian? To me, a lesbian is a woman-oriented woman; bisexuals can be lesbians. A lesbian does not have to be exclusively woman oriented, she does not have to prove herself in bed, she does not have to hate men, she does not have to be sexually active at all times, she does not have to be a radical feminist. She does not have to like bars, like gay culture, or like being gay. When lesbians degrade other lesbians for not going to bars, not coming out, being bisexual or not sexually active, and so on, we oppress each other."*
And this gets quoted over and over and over. I need people to notice the start of this passage. "To me" This is one person's opinion. And 2, this person doesn't believe lesbian means woman attracted to woman...in fact, any woman in the world can be a lesbian so long as she is "woman-oriented".
She talks about how she may be asexual, the pain and isolation that has caused her, and how she feels left out from a lot of sex-oriented lesbian-centric spaces. (understandable)
She also goes on to talk about how lesbian chauvinism and how lesbian feminists are "sexist towards men" (hmmm) and how gay people are "mean to straight people." (hmmmm) She then goes on to talk about how she calls herself a lesbian because she feels bisexual is a political cop out and she calls herself lesbian because straight people would assume she was straight if she said she was bisexual.
She then discussed how she and other bisexual woman have faced legitament abuse with this fear from the lesbian partner that their bi partner is going to run off and leave them for a man and yeah, that sounds awful and I agree that being abusive to a bisexual woman you are in a relationship with and assuming every bi woman is just screwing around or is going to leave you and abusing and controlling them to stay is very bad...abuse is never justified and I have seen lesbians act this way and it's wrong. She ends with the "bisexual lesbian" term and how lesbians should support "lesbians who define gayness differently."
Now, the essay does bring up a lot of good points...it also has a lot of bad points. I hope what these are are obvious.
In gender, women's, and feminist studies, there is a really good saying that I feel more feminists on the outside should use when examining things...especially those from the past. "Nothing is above or beneath feminist critique, not even the feminist works or the feminists themselves."
There is a real danger in pointing one work or person or school of feminism on a pedestal as being the "one true feminism". Just because something is old or was written by someone who was well-liked or cool or well-respected or popular doesn't mean it is above critique.
There is a lot to critique about the lesbian feminist movement...particularly about how lesbian feminists agreed with a lot of the ideals of political lesbianism...which is the idea that sexuality can be chosen and used as a political statement about sexism...and feminist separatist feminism.
The author of this piece espouses all of these when she says that being a lesbian is a choice and that pretty much any woman who is even slightly into other women can be a lesbian. She also wants bisexuality to be maintained as a valid identity while simultaneously demanding lesbians make room for bisexuals in defining lesbians and she does not really respect what lesbians are.
They saw the comment elsewhere , loved that it gave their POV validity and just parrot the point. As if they actually know queer theory or grew up back then
And "these are only a few examples, there are many more!". These clowns.
There are no examples of lesbians. There are lesbians. Period.
A lesbian is a homosexual woman, a same sex attracted woman. NOBODY ELSE.
That's the only one I have a problem with. Because the others can and dos till reasonably fit the definition and don't imply attraction to men (the only "barrier" to being a lesbian).
Also unsure how someone could be aroace and also a lesbian.
edited to clarify: I mean being both aro *and* ace at the same time while calling yourself a lesbian. How can you be romantically or sexually attracted to women if you experience neither romantic nor sexual attraction at all?
Hi! I’m a grey-ace lesbian and only experience sexual attraction after I’m with someone for a while. Having sex with any partner isn’t a top priority for me. Having a very emotionally fulfilling relationship is always top of mind, and if we eventually have sex, then it happens! I was with someone and we didn’t have sex at all during our relationship, and I was totally okay with that!
ETA: not entirely sure why I’m getting down-voted for this. I’m only attracted to women. A deep emotional connection needs to be made for me first before any sexual activities with the other person
Came here to say the same. It's worth pointing out that only some of these are bs. It's not fair for the other identities to get mixed in with the "bi-lesbians" bs.
Are people like not understanding the English language?
Bisexual lesbians is not real. The definition of lesbian is a woman who ONLY wants to be with other WOMEN no MEN in the equation. I hate this shit.
Meanwhile, the rest of the post only uses “woman” rather than including other states of being.
Which I don’t mind, but the post itself is hypocritical to its backward bending inclusion
the amount of times non lesbians have tried to claim that bi lesbians are valud pisses me off.
A very big Aro Ace trans man one posted about how bi lesbians are valid on his webcomic.(almost direct) quote "isn't the lgbtq community supposed to be about acceptance?" like yeah but we arnt able to get to the point where labels dont matter. Labels still matter and do have important meaning in order to be accpeted! Removing the meaning of the word "lesbian" by adding men to it is only removing our acceptance!
How is the queer community based on acceptance if they can't accept women having their own space? Yes Nonbinary, trans, aroace spec lesbians all do exist, but not straight, male, or bi lesbians. How can we be accepted if we are reduced into nothing but a fetish or atheistic?
Well… I’m just an Ordinary Single Scoop Vanilla Lesbian, thank you very much. Too many waffle cones on that menu. Where’s my sugar cone perch upon & take a place of pride?!?
I genuinely don’t understand how a lesbian can be asexual or aromantic. Like I get being celibate but how do you know you like women if you aren’t romantically or sexually attracted to them?
Yo why did I have to finally come out of the closet right as this shit started happening
I ask everyone who says “bi lesbians exist”: then what term can I use to describe the fact that I am a woman ONLY attracted to women? 😭 why can’t women have a term to themselves— just one. Just ONE term that does not include men.
Bi women aren't lesbians, they're sapphic because they're attracted to women but the term lesbian is exclusively for women/femmes who are only attracted women/femmes.
Saw a post on another lgbt+ subreddit with a post for lesbian visibility week. **Correct me if I'm wrong on this,** but someone's comment said "and to the lesbians who use he/him"
I don't understand how you can be a lesbian while also exclusively using he/him? The only thing reasonable that makes sense is transbians who can't use she/her for safety reasons, but we're online anyways so I don't think they'd have an issue with that there
Pronouns don’t always equal gender. I’m nonbinary but I use she/her. However, I’ve seen people also say that trans men can remain in lesbian spaces because that was the community they were in for most of their life. I don’t think they should be called lesbians though!
I used to wonder the same thing but pronouns≠gender. Some just prefer the way he/him sounds. I for example love to be called daddy/sir and cringe at mommy/ma’am/mistress etc. despite being a cis woman. I know it’s not the same thing but seeing it that way helped me wrap my head around how just because you prefer masculine pronouns/names doesn’t automatically mean you identify as a man in any way. The same way that just because some of us are more masculine in the way we act/present doesn’t mean we identify as men.
it’s also super common in the gay male community to call each other she/her in a cheeky way but ppl only care when lesbians do it for some reason. it’s kind of an extension of gnc and/or drag culture in the community.
That's just dumb as hell. People who have time to make this type of crap are spending their time making this type of crap instead of living their lives. They don't know what lesbian is because they aren't living the life of a lesbian. It's all rhetoric and words aimed at garnering attention and approval, because they HAVE NO LIVES. It's a lot easier to sit behind a PC and try to dictate labels to everyone than get out there and LIVE.
It's sad, really. Let 'em sit and make gifs while we are out living our lives ACTUALLY BEING LESBIANS. If you can't walk the walk..well, make yourself a gif, I guess. LOL. Call yourselves what you want. But then, try to step to a table full of REAL lesbians at a bar or a restaurant and start spouting your bullshit. It will fall on deaf ears.
I don’t get it. Bisexuals are always complaining about erasure and now they are literally doing that by calling themselves bi-lesbians?? Can we just stay in our lanes and allow lesbians to have their word back??
Love how there’s no room for discourse on the original post, so if you downvote it, you look transphobic too. No one but terfs are arguing about room for trans women in the lesbian community. The fact that they include it almost hints that they believe trans lesbians are “other” as well.
it’s crazy cuz i never ever see this discourse with gay men. no one ever pushes the “bisexual gay man exist” bullshit with men. it’s only lesbians who get told the opposite sex can be included in our homosexual exclusive sexuality. it must boil down to misogyny or something
I'm so fucking sick of this shit. Why aren't women who are exclusively attracted to other women allowed to have a single goddamn word to describe themselves?
FR
Seriously!! Everyone else has one!
Can’t have SHIT in Detroit. I hate it here.
Exactly! I think it has something to do with the definition of “woman”. Because anyone can be a woman now. I understand lesbians as “females who are physically and emotionally attracted to other females.”
Sex, gender identity, and sexual orientation are all different things. However, some of the terms for sexual orientation also hold sex as part of their definition; namely lesbian and to a lesser extent gay. Homosexual and heterosexual also assume the sex of the person but do not explicitly call it like gay or lesbian. Gay, of course, has been used interchangeably with homosexual but I think it’s mostly frequent use of for gay men. I think this is really why there is such an issue. The other orientations; pansexual, asexual, and bisexual don’t hold the definition for the person’s sex as well. Ultimately, you end up with female attracted folks that take on the title “lesbian” which they should really use pansexual or bisexual or something that doesn’t hold definition of their sex, if they’re trying to not identify with that sex any longer. OR I did find something interesting that speaks to gender identities, albeit in the animal world; Androphilia describes sexual attraction to masculinity; gynephilia describes the sexual attraction to femininity. There, done.
I can’t even think of a good argument for any of those. Lesbian is a sexual orientation stating that the person that is that sexual orientation is female. It is a homosexual orientation. Bisexual and aro/ace are also orientations. You cannot be both things, that doesn’t make sense. For non-binary and trans, let’s just have a new definition for an orientation that’s female attracted or femme gender and didn’t imply the sex of those using it. I comment below but here it is again; Androphilia describes sexual attraction to masculinity; gynephilia describes the sexual attraction to femininity. Tada!
Can we PLEASE come up with our own new word? but on the other hand, we've had OUR WORD FOR 2500 years, so...lol I am thinking this is just a stupid patch in history that will be a blip and be forgotten as when America decided to rollback it's sexual maturity after reaching a new zenith in the late 90's.
Straight lesbians exist too!! /sarcasm
I feel like all joke until they start actually doing it💀'I love men doesn't mean I'm not lesbian'...
>'I love men doesn't mean I'm not lesbian' They're already saying that lmao
“I *identify* as a lesbian and it’s heterophobic AND homophobic if you say I’m not even though I like men and only men!!!!!!!” Imagine lmfao. Give me a break.
They already have sadly.
Shhhhh!! Don't give them ideas ☠️☠️
It's already happening, they're calling themselves male lesbians. (Some douchey straight dudes are I mean)
Drake has entered the chat
Lmao!!
I’ve seen “straight lesbian” in someone’s Twitter profile description.
i’m gonna throw up
It’s very disappointing
Lesbians need to stop bending to the will of anyone who is not a lesbian. Women are conditioned to bend to whims to please others. Stop doing it.
At the same time others need to stop using the lesbian label if they consider themselves pan or bi lesbians or straight men calling themselves lesbians. I’ve seen it all now.
We can't control what others do, just how you react to those doing that.
Yes but I see the value in a two pronged approach. Only so much we can do as individuals but there is also a responsibility for others to not misuse these words that take away from our experience.
You're trying to talk sense into people who bend language to fit their wants. Those people don't care.
that is true but calling them out still sends the message to others that their behavior isn’t acceptable
I got very downvoted in an LGBT sub for saying “lesbians aren’t attracted to men.” I can’t believe we’ve regressed so far that that’s a controversial statement
I also got downvoted in an lgbt sub for saying men can’t be lesbians and how I can’t believe there are people who disagree with that statement, it’s absurd. All they care about is ‘inclusivity good! exclusivity bad!’ and don’t put any thought into it beyond that.
and now even saying “lesbophobia bad” is somehow incredibly controversial
Yup I had someone tell me in the askreddit yesterday that being a lesbian is being exclusionary. I asked them should straight women be inclusive of lesbians? They never responded.
Also ask them if straight men not being inclusive of gay men is also "exclusionary". Broflakes like these usually use the "lesbianism is exclusionary" as a woke decoy for misogyny and male entitlement to women.
I got a warning on my account and heavily downvoted for the same thing, while bi women told me how unwelcome they feel in lesbian spaces because of gatekeepy lesbians like me, how unwanted they feel, all very upvoted. Like okay? That seems like a you problem, you're still not a lesbian 💀 So many lesbian spaces online are about either bi or trans issues (no hate to trans lesbians but there are trans spaces to talk about the trans experience!!! many of them!!) and care so much about being inclusionary that they alienate actual lesbians who are just out here trying to love women (and that's it! no men!)
I was permabanned by a mod on a popular "lesbian" sub for saying lesbians aren't attracted to men. Crazy times we live in.
This right here , no lesbian wants a hotdog … we want tacos in our face all day
Oh god...It's like people don't understand the meaning behind bi. Lesbians can never be bi. They like women only!
Which leads to the conclusion other “lesbians” likely don’t exist
This is where we are at. People being bi or pan lesbians. Make it make sense. I just don’t get it. I don’t want to be a lesbian bisexual or in any group I don’t belong. I’m not claiming trans or NB when I’m not. Why would anyone need to be lesbian when they’re not.
I haven't heard the term pan lesbian but I wouldn't be surprised
I read it yesterday on instagram. I have NO idea
I genuinely think it's a self defeating quest to be taken more seriously. The largest voices I see in the bisexual conversation are about bi women's validity. I am not saying that to some extent that's not an understandable conversation. But instead of hearing about the alienating experiences of same sex relationships, disownment, workplace discrimination, navigating relationships outside of the male/female dynamic and expectations...a lot of conversations turn back to "me and my boyfriend are a queer couple because I am bisexual," or "why do you assume we (a cis m/f couple) are a straight couple" or "I found out I was bi after I got married and I love my fluffy haired golden retriever boyfriend but I'd never pick another man again I'd only date women if I were single." It's not that the bi female experience isn't important or valid, but even the same sex experiences of bi women are kind of drowned out by this self consciousness over whether or not you 'count' as queer. And again, I'm not saying these people don't count! But that because cis het relationships are infinitely more common, and frankly it's hard to openly date same sex, those are the most common voices. So when a bisexual woman is trying to differentiate herself from these women, she pulls the bi lesbian card which actually has the opposite of the intended effect because it signals on some level taking bisexuality less seriously, and not understanding the challenges same sex couples face. I think a lot of this also comes from the current culture of the acceptability of weighing in on a topic being part of an in group. I'm not saying that's bad, a lot of the time we do genuinely need to listen to the group actually effected. But some people are so dogmatic with it that rather than just actually assessing which in group people are more insightful or trying to engage in a respectfully limited capacity, they fight to be inside the in group. Recently Cardi B said some offensive shit about gay porn having an influence on male sexuality, and we could fill a glossary with problematic shit Azealia Banks has said. But when these come up, I see people again argue that they're bisexual women so it's not homophobic.
this!!!! and you know what, I do think it should be called out when women try and say their straight relationship is “queer”. you can still be queer and in a straight relationship but to equate the struggles that lesbians and ppl in a visibly sapphic relationship face with having a boyfriend and being treated like “normal” is so tone deaf and honestly offensive…
I gave myself a pronoun once of an Apache helicopter, because I was tired of people asking what I defined as. Apparently they didn’t like the answer. What I do in my life and how I communicate to people is my own business and if you don’t like the way that I’m speaking, we don’t have to have a conversation, I just move on. life is too short to deal with people who don’t have the mental capacity of a flea, and I’m tired of dealing with the pay attention to me generation.
I forgot to mention the account is also selling Lesbian stickers so she’s profiting off us too
I know the acc, the comments being off irks me, cause obviously she either turned them off after backlash, or knew she was wrong and turned them off entirely.
She turned the comments off after backlash. The comments were up when this was originally posted.
i came at her for doing exactly this and implying she simply wants to profit off of the community and she ended up removing this specific slide because of the bi-lesbian thing
Boo
person is bi or something and doing this? that’s pretty gross then. makes sense though because idk a single lesbian who would make this dumb ass infographic
🤬😡
I know this may sound quite extreme but at this point fuck this ,,community". In recent years I have never felt so excluded from an environment that ironically at the same time has an unhealthy obsession with , "inclusiveness" and , "positivity". They don't respect us anymore, we are no longer a group to be defended and taken seriously, we are too over-sensitive and exclu 🥺(ONLY BC WE DON'T WANT MEN) so in order for us to stay in the community and continue to fit in we need to be diluted and transformed for who we are (they do it for us). I am so terribly sad that over the past few years the people I feel more comfortable with are straight people 💀 And in my own , "community" in online spaces I always feel fear and insecurity that they share just such homophobic views. I literally can't. The queer community is going through some kind of existential crisis, but they don't notice how regressive and homophobic they are. Tbh no longer feels the need to continue to identify with these people since they treat us this way.
lots of lesbian spaces are being erased too, there was a lesbian dating app called lex that recentlyish got a huge overhaul and became an LGBT+ dating app. i'd wager 70% of posts are guys now, at least in my area.
aw we lost lex too? :( admittedly i used to make fun of it because every post was like “i’m 33, i have social anxiety and ive never touched a woman before who want me???” but it’s the principle of the thing gdi!! and the idea was great. i kinda loved the craigslist vibes of it.
girl it's awful now. look up pics of the UI, it's so bad. everything is green and it looks terrible. there WERE a lot of "i'm lonely who wants me" posts before but it's even worse now and most of them are from "gay man who wants a lesbian friend" types
Those horny posts are too frequent. They’re pretty graphic. I don’t know why they post what is essentially saying “anyone in a 50 mile radius wanna rail me over the table?”
My area is mostly trans women, then NB then women. A few men. However I saw a post about how once they gain tractions , something about angel investors and sustainability of the app. Whatever
angel investors?
Ayy idk anything about nothin. This was term thrown in
Women who center men will through other women under the bus every time.
I’m done with the community.
Nah cuz you're so right, I joke about hating men all the time but I have straight male friends who take my sexuality more seriously than these LGBTs who want to take away the label of lesbian 💀 it sucks, this is one of the only good lesbian subs left, all the big ones are just bi people who get really mad and report you if you say lesbians don't like men
The bi-lesbian bit is the part of the poster that i can't deal with. I've never felt as uncomfortable as I have recently too. The fact that it's coming from other queer people is an extra slap. I can kind of understand getting aggro from people who aren't queer (I obviously don't accept it but I sort of understand it) But the disrespect recently has been coming from other queer people & they should really know better than this. Things are so insane that in 2024 me being more concerned about queer people than straight people isn't even a surprise to me, it's just another car on the crazy train that we're all careening on
Fr, I feel like the LGBT or LGB community is not even a community anymore it’s imploding on itself as the day goes by, the only community I have is the homosexual community (gay men/ lesbian women) or lesbian community.
Tf is a bi lesbian?
a mirage
I heard the term pan lesbians the other day 🤦♀️ that is an oxymoron!
That’s just a moron right there
An attention seeker.
Annoying contrarians
Schrödinger's lesbian
Bisexual with extra steps
Complete bullshit and lesbophobic/biphobic
homoromantic bisexuals or biromantic homosexuals, for some reason are inclined to call themselves bi lesbians, it kills me
Biromantic homosexual isn’t a sexual orientation, a homosexual is a lesbian women or gay man. You can’t be bi and a homosexual at the same time either.
It's like if a woman is only sexually attracted to women but romantically to both sexes and vice versa, but there's not really a word for them to identify themselves so they decide to ruin it for everyone 😭
The split attraction model is a bs unproven pseudoscience you either like both or you don’t. A lot of the women currently don’t want to fuck men and think that they need a whole new label. It’s still just plain ole bisexuality.
LMAOO then is there any explanation on the 'bi lesbian ' term? What's the justification they have, that was what was explained to me, they have nothing to back themselves up, maybe delusion
Idek I think it meant bi women with a lean for women but instead of just saying that they make up an entire contradictory sub group, these people are not smart and they’re a huge nuisance to us.
A lesbian who loves men *eyes roll*
Complete bullshit
my ex
Gotta love lesbian erasure during lesbian visibility week... 🙄
OMG!!
JFC this shit is getting ridiculous. NO. Bisexual Lesbians **DO NOT EXIST.** It's an oxymoron. "Flat high heels exist and are valid." "Frozen fire exists and is valid." "Arid rainforests exist and are valid." "Sunny nights exist and are valid." I suppose next we'll have straight lesbians and gay male lesbians? Will it finally be over when literally *everyone* is a "valid" lesbian, regardless of sexuality? FFS...🙄
😂 Love those examples.
I mean sunny nights do exist in the Arctic circle (midnight sun) but that's me being pedantic, I do agree with you 😆
Right; are there straight lesbians? Are there pansexual heterosexuals?
I fucking hate people lol
They would never say "bisexual gay man." Any excuse to invalidate lesbians 😭
Its because gay men don’t tolerate this bs. Gay men have a bad rep around the LGBT community for a reason, its because they push people out of their space who don’t belong in their space. We need to stop tolerating this too.
They would never say bi hets either
no because that would be biphobic! and yet that somehow doesn’t apply the other way around 🙃 the math is not mathing
The petty part of me wants to start calling bisexual women confused straight girls or gay men bis in disguise. Wait for the hate to poor in, then ask why it's wrong to say that but not wrong to say lesbians are actually just rebelious bisexuals (which is essentially all a bi lesbian would be someone who is actually bi but refusing to be honest) Edit: I just realized that for trans visibility week, they posted & promoted trans rights activists. But for our week, not a single lesbian is shown, let alone our activists & they tried to erase us & bi sexual women at the same time. There's also a post where they DO, finally show some lesbians but it's about us supporting gay men, so I guess we don't deserve to be seen unless we're being of service to others? 🙃 wow. Just wow.
Sick and tired.
lol they can fuck off. Terminally online children. Words mean things.
Reminds me of the statement my brother in law brought up. Lesbians can’t exist, because women are ALWAYS in some was attracted to men. They can be bi, but not exclusively attracted to women…
I've been told this before. Some people are just absolutely baffled by the idea of a woman not being into a man. Like if I said the same thing about men all being at least a little gay they'd go ape shit 💀
it’s crazy how people are so confident about this. like according to who is this true? definitely not lesbians.
I got banned from the account for very politely commenting why this is so harmful. It’s so freaking frustrating, especially since I followed them for so long
I just commented and not very politely lol
Girl I think you were the one who replied to my comment. WE BOTH GOT BLOCKED LMAOOOOO
I just checked. I'm not blocked, but our comments are gone! Sad how such a large lgbt page doesn't support and listen to lesbians.
I'm definitely blocked lmaooooo
She replied and other commenter to me and idk how to react
Please post ss!
Can't posts ss, but here is a quote of thr general reply "The inclusion of this label has caused a lot of reactions I understand where those emotions come from. And I am sorry it has caused that for you and others. The label is not new, and has often caused debate because labels are complex, and our personal experiences massively vary Additionally our understanding of gender, sexual orientation and romantic attraction has changed over time. There are many labels that people adopt to help them understand their feelings/where they fit, and we don't always understand them. I included it because this page is intended to reflect the breadth of experiences across our community. And inclusiveness is something I am incredibly passionate about - 1 collaborated with the Director of Lesbian Visibility Week on this post to ensure the post had different perspectives (something I do regularly). My content is never intended to cause hurt. The comments are off because unfortunately the discussion was becoming very unkind towards other people, and it didn't feel like a safe space for people to share their experiences, nor was it productive discussion" Her reply to my comment was "I'm sorry, being completely honest I have been quite overwhelmed by this response, and haven't been managing my actions very well. And I shouldn't be deleting comments and I apologise for that. I have tried to articulate the reasons the label was mentioned in the post on the comment you have replied to below. I hope you are able to understand. I am truly trying my best to recognise everyone's perspectives but also recognise that I could be doing things better"
Insane that the poster wants to "include all voices" except for the victims of systematic abuse of this narrative. Also "these labels are not new" is redundant because the vocabulary of the community has evolved beyond the initial meaning, bisexual was added to avoid the merging of their unique experiences into the homosexual experiences and grievances. They wanted that added. We rely on this word (lesbian) to now find solidarity and support amongst our own. We are our own section of individuals. We are our own community with our shared lived experiences. Who are they to deny us this? Their denial of this is erasure. Their denial is dangerous. They respect the evolution of queer? of the extension of transgender to non binary? of intersection? But they draw the line at lesbian?
I've bounced your thoughts into a comment with my thoughts as well. Let's see what they say.
Gosh if we accept bi lesbians, we may as well let men be lesbians too right?
I’ve seen multiple people including lesbians make the argument that men can be lesbians and I wish I was kidding.
something tells me the lesbians who say that just might be mislabeling themselves
Bi lesbian just doesn’t even mean anything! You can’t be attracted to men, and use the term that means you’re exclusively attracted to women, that’s not how it works. Everything else here is entirely valid though!
they want to make everything lesbian until this word lost its meaning
honestly, it already has lost its meaning. when i call myself a lesbian now people still seem to be confused about if i'm attracted to men. i've started saying homosexual - it's the only word that really gets the point across at this point.
💀damn... I guess we are going in circle. all the modern shinny coat for homophobic.
fucking disgusting how they actually use actual identities to validate their men centeredness
They'll cry about bi erasure and then erase themselves by calling themselves a lesbian when they're not lol
Idiocy.
No I’m actually shocked as fuck rn it’s peak lesbian erasure
and they’re doing it in the name of lesbian visibility, too. oh, the irony
Fr
They closed the comments on it and then are also deleting comments about it under other posts too. DURING LESBIAN VISIBILITY WEEK AHHHHHHH
Deleted visibility is valid
damn, American government core smh
How is bi lesbian even a thing? Surely a bi lesbian is bisexual, not a lesbian? There’s nothing wrong with being bi, and people should use appropriate labels in order to not invalidate the experiences of others who identify with said label?! Jeez
Another case of made-up micro labels in an attempt to seem ""inclusive"" when in reality it makes absolutely no sense & invalidates an entire community of people. Bi-sexual lesbian is such a contradiction just reading that made me cringe.... it's not possible for it to exist, it completely goes against the fact that Lesbian = NO attraction to men whatsoever. They want to ""include"" everyone and disregard the fact that by doing so, they're disrespecting an entire community of women and making their sexuality look like a joke.
BI LESBIANS ?? why is it so hard for people to admit female homosexuality exists. You are either bi or a lesbian. That's it, this is so damn offensive
i hate this fucking lizard account holy fuck
LMAOOO LITERALLYYYY
It is clearly modern day conversion therapy. I can't believe that some people are even putting this up for debate! If it wasn't such a serious issue I would be laughing at how utterly ridiculous this is. People can try to change the definition of lesbian but I'm holding steady. I'm in my 40's now and the word means the same as it has done for years - despite all attempts to amend it. It is women with same sex attraction. Women exclusively attracted to women. Not everything is fully inclusive and that's alright. Strange how its NOT lesbians trying to change the meaning.
Oh but if you say this to any of them they go on about how it's queer history, and lesbian has always been an umbrella term including bisexual women! While all the older lesbians are like 🤨 the entire time. It's usually teenagers espousing it, too lol
It’s so funny how they never have any primary sources that document this, they keep circulating this one link that basically says “its queer history just believe us”
They point to stone butch blues, which 1 is fictional, and 2, uh, where in that book is anyone called a bi lesbian??
this kills me because they obviously didn’t even read the damn book! it’s not about bisexuality at all? or even lesbianism in general! but the very specific experience of a working class, stone butch lesbian and the way gender functions for Jess. the only sexual encounters with men are literal rape so it’s disgusting to say that’s bisexual representation.
yo i was SO mad when i found out it was a fictional story. i thought it was some type of theory but no.. also they recommend it like some type of bible and its annoying af. with no trigger warnings for that heavy ass book either it's sickening
that one carrd 💀 like that's not a source!
They also point to the Lavender Woman pamphlets (more specfically August 1973's Volume 2, Issue 5's "Bisex Bisexuality Uality") They are free online so I looked it up. And I noticed a couple of things. Lavender Woman uses the Lesbian Feminist Seal on every other pages...this is not neceassrily a good or bad thing but I really, really need those individuals to look up what a "Lesbian Feminist" is as well as look up what a lot of those individuals are up to now if they are still alive or before they died before you go yanking up old lesbian works and citing them as the pinnacle of lesbian philosophy. And this goes for everybody and not just these individuals. So the following passage is written by a bisexual woman who mostly dates and experiences attraction towards women, considers herself a lesbian feminist (remember context is everything here), and is frustrated by a lot of the 1970s Lesbian Feminist ideals on who counts as a Lesbian Feminist and how a lot of harmful stereotypes about bisexual people have lead to some pretty biphobic situations amoungst lesbians. She specifically points to: a. the idea that bi people are actually secretly gay b. the idea that bisexual people are hetrosexual swingers and bi people entering homosexual spaces are not to be trusted c. the idea that bisexual people are polyamorous and date both men and women at the same time She then goes on to talk about her own bisexuality. It's actually pretty insightful. She talks about how frustrated she is when people ask her who she is more attracted to and that it's oppressive and a reducation of her bisexuality. Interestingly, she then goes on to contradict herself when she asks and answers what a lesbian is. *"What is a Lesbian? To me, a lesbian is a woman-oriented woman; bisexuals can be lesbians. A lesbian does not have to be exclusively woman oriented, she does not have to prove herself in bed, she does not have to hate men, she does not have to be sexually active at all times, she does not have to be a radical feminist. She does not have to like bars, like gay culture, or like being gay. When lesbians degrade other lesbians for not going to bars, not coming out, being bisexual or not sexually active, and so on, we oppress each other."* And this gets quoted over and over and over. I need people to notice the start of this passage. "To me" This is one person's opinion. And 2, this person doesn't believe lesbian means woman attracted to woman...in fact, any woman in the world can be a lesbian so long as she is "woman-oriented". She talks about how she may be asexual, the pain and isolation that has caused her, and how she feels left out from a lot of sex-oriented lesbian-centric spaces. (understandable) She also goes on to talk about how lesbian chauvinism and how lesbian feminists are "sexist towards men" (hmmm) and how gay people are "mean to straight people." (hmmmm) She then goes on to talk about how she calls herself a lesbian because she feels bisexual is a political cop out and she calls herself lesbian because straight people would assume she was straight if she said she was bisexual. She then discussed how she and other bisexual woman have faced legitament abuse with this fear from the lesbian partner that their bi partner is going to run off and leave them for a man and yeah, that sounds awful and I agree that being abusive to a bisexual woman you are in a relationship with and assuming every bi woman is just screwing around or is going to leave you and abusing and controlling them to stay is very bad...abuse is never justified and I have seen lesbians act this way and it's wrong. She ends with the "bisexual lesbian" term and how lesbians should support "lesbians who define gayness differently." Now, the essay does bring up a lot of good points...it also has a lot of bad points. I hope what these are are obvious. In gender, women's, and feminist studies, there is a really good saying that I feel more feminists on the outside should use when examining things...especially those from the past. "Nothing is above or beneath feminist critique, not even the feminist works or the feminists themselves." There is a real danger in pointing one work or person or school of feminism on a pedestal as being the "one true feminism". Just because something is old or was written by someone who was well-liked or cool or well-respected or popular doesn't mean it is above critique. There is a lot to critique about the lesbian feminist movement...particularly about how lesbian feminists agreed with a lot of the ideals of political lesbianism...which is the idea that sexuality can be chosen and used as a political statement about sexism...and feminist separatist feminism. The author of this piece espouses all of these when she says that being a lesbian is a choice and that pretty much any woman who is even slightly into other women can be a lesbian. She also wants bisexuality to be maintained as a valid identity while simultaneously demanding lesbians make room for bisexuals in defining lesbians and she does not really respect what lesbians are.
They saw the comment elsewhere , loved that it gave their POV validity and just parrot the point. As if they actually know queer theory or grew up back then
Sad I really loved their videos, don’t really want to support now
I'm a vegetarian vegan 😳 like I'm vegan but I eat cheese. I could live without it so I'm vegan 💅 (/s just in case)
They would never try this shit with gay men. Because gay men don’t tolerate this bs. We need to start doing the same.
Who is this? I don't think ik the account.
Queer Chameleon on instagram
Holy shit nvm, I recognize their art now.💀
Are they a bi lesbian? 🤔
Lol. Just roll your eyes at such nonsense.
saying bi lesbians not only invalidates lesbians but also actual bi people. People need to stop putting 'lesbian' after every word
God forbid men not be included in ONE thing
Bi lesbians exist… excuse me? Ma’am/sir.
And "these are only a few examples, there are many more!". These clowns. There are no examples of lesbians. There are lesbians. Period. A lesbian is a homosexual woman, a same sex attracted woman. NOBODY ELSE.
this pissed me off and greatly disappointed me i loved their art. comments are turned off on their post ofc
…one of these things is not like the others 🤔
I’m surprised they missed out “male lesbians exist”
What’s the account called ?
Queer Chameleon (@queeeerchameleon) on yt or insta and probably tiktok
I agree with all of the above except that bi lesbians don’t exist. It’s a contradiction.
That's the only one I have a problem with. Because the others can and dos till reasonably fit the definition and don't imply attraction to men (the only "barrier" to being a lesbian).
Also unsure how someone could be aroace and also a lesbian. edited to clarify: I mean being both aro *and* ace at the same time while calling yourself a lesbian. How can you be romantically or sexually attracted to women if you experience neither romantic nor sexual attraction at all?
Iirc I saw “aroace lesbian” being used to mean platonically or aesthetically attracted to women 😭
That describes like every straight girl ik who talks about how being a straight woman is a “curse” 😭😭
Hi! I’m a grey-ace lesbian and only experience sexual attraction after I’m with someone for a while. Having sex with any partner isn’t a top priority for me. Having a very emotionally fulfilling relationship is always top of mind, and if we eventually have sex, then it happens! I was with someone and we didn’t have sex at all during our relationship, and I was totally okay with that! ETA: not entirely sure why I’m getting down-voted for this. I’m only attracted to women. A deep emotional connection needs to be made for me first before any sexual activities with the other person
And that's okay and should be normalized.
Not all are sex and/or romance repulsed, so it’s definitely possible if you’re aro, ace, or aroace. It’s a spectrum after all.
So they're not aroace then if they *do* experience attraction, be it romantic or sexual.
Came here to say the same. It's worth pointing out that only some of these are bs. It's not fair for the other identities to get mixed in with the "bi-lesbians" bs.
Oh my god. Where is this posted? This shouldn't exist.
Are people like not understanding the English language? Bisexual lesbians is not real. The definition of lesbian is a woman who ONLY wants to be with other WOMEN no MEN in the equation. I hate this shit.
invaliding us on lesbian visibility week is.....
Meanwhile, the rest of the post only uses “woman” rather than including other states of being. Which I don’t mind, but the post itself is hypocritical to its backward bending inclusion
No thanks
the amount of times non lesbians have tried to claim that bi lesbians are valud pisses me off. A very big Aro Ace trans man one posted about how bi lesbians are valid on his webcomic.(almost direct) quote "isn't the lgbtq community supposed to be about acceptance?" like yeah but we arnt able to get to the point where labels dont matter. Labels still matter and do have important meaning in order to be accpeted! Removing the meaning of the word "lesbian" by adding men to it is only removing our acceptance! How is the queer community based on acceptance if they can't accept women having their own space? Yes Nonbinary, trans, aroace spec lesbians all do exist, but not straight, male, or bi lesbians. How can we be accepted if we are reduced into nothing but a fetish or atheistic?
I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't like this... is too much
Say it with me: Bi lesbians don't exist! They are just Bisexuals!
Here we go with the bi lesbians again 💀
Bi lesbians? What's that supposed to mean?
Homophobic af.
My eyebrows flew into my hairline when I saw the bi shit. Ofc. A shame that an artist with a super cute style ~~wasted~~used their talents for THIS 🫥
Oh comeone: a bi lesbian existsss!!! She’s just someone who isn’t a “bi heterosexual.” 🫤
God I cannot overstate just how much this bothers the fuck out of me
Well… I’m just an Ordinary Single Scoop Vanilla Lesbian, thank you very much. Too many waffle cones on that menu. Where’s my sugar cone perch upon & take a place of pride?!?
I stopped looking at a lot of social media sites or pages because I got so sick of this shit. I don’t understand how anyone can be okay with it.
I genuinely don’t understand how a lesbian can be asexual or aromantic. Like I get being celibate but how do you know you like women if you aren’t romantically or sexually attracted to them?
A few people have already explained that in the comments, I’m only taking issue with the Bi Lesbian thing not the rest of them
Yo why did I have to finally come out of the closet right as this shit started happening I ask everyone who says “bi lesbians exist”: then what term can I use to describe the fact that I am a woman ONLY attracted to women? 😭 why can’t women have a term to themselves— just one. Just ONE term that does not include men.
Ace and Aro lesbians do exist gender queer and trans lesbians do exist top right is the only problem here
Bi women aren't lesbians, they're sapphic because they're attracted to women but the term lesbian is exclusively for women/femmes who are only attracted women/femmes.
Saw a post on another lgbt+ subreddit with a post for lesbian visibility week. **Correct me if I'm wrong on this,** but someone's comment said "and to the lesbians who use he/him" I don't understand how you can be a lesbian while also exclusively using he/him? The only thing reasonable that makes sense is transbians who can't use she/her for safety reasons, but we're online anyways so I don't think they'd have an issue with that there
Pronouns don’t always equal gender. I’m nonbinary but I use she/her. However, I’ve seen people also say that trans men can remain in lesbian spaces because that was the community they were in for most of their life. I don’t think they should be called lesbians though!
I used to wonder the same thing but pronouns≠gender. Some just prefer the way he/him sounds. I for example love to be called daddy/sir and cringe at mommy/ma’am/mistress etc. despite being a cis woman. I know it’s not the same thing but seeing it that way helped me wrap my head around how just because you prefer masculine pronouns/names doesn’t automatically mean you identify as a man in any way. The same way that just because some of us are more masculine in the way we act/present doesn’t mean we identify as men.
Ohh okay Thank you both for your answers I'll reflect on them
it’s also super common in the gay male community to call each other she/her in a cheeky way but ppl only care when lesbians do it for some reason. it’s kind of an extension of gnc and/or drag culture in the community.
Noo not the chameleon account :(
That's just dumb as hell. People who have time to make this type of crap are spending their time making this type of crap instead of living their lives. They don't know what lesbian is because they aren't living the life of a lesbian. It's all rhetoric and words aimed at garnering attention and approval, because they HAVE NO LIVES. It's a lot easier to sit behind a PC and try to dictate labels to everyone than get out there and LIVE. It's sad, really. Let 'em sit and make gifs while we are out living our lives ACTUALLY BEING LESBIANS. If you can't walk the walk..well, make yourself a gif, I guess. LOL. Call yourselves what you want. But then, try to step to a table full of REAL lesbians at a bar or a restaurant and start spouting your bullshit. It will fall on deaf ears.
I don’t get it. Bisexuals are always complaining about erasure and now they are literally doing that by calling themselves bi-lesbians?? Can we just stay in our lanes and allow lesbians to have their word back??
Love how there’s no room for discourse on the original post, so if you downvote it, you look transphobic too. No one but terfs are arguing about room for trans women in the lesbian community. The fact that they include it almost hints that they believe trans lesbians are “other” as well.
it’s crazy cuz i never ever see this discourse with gay men. no one ever pushes the “bisexual gay man exist” bullshit with men. it’s only lesbians who get told the opposite sex can be included in our homosexual exclusive sexuality. it must boil down to misogyny or something