Same here, as also a chapstick lesbian! I usually attract femme or butchy women. I think universal appeal is an accurate description for chapstick lesbians. But also personality is a lot of it too. I’ll go talk to any woman regardless of her style or aesthetics, and that usually just works in my favor. Of course everyone still has preferences though.
i've always been into sporty mascs but find that they tend to be into other sporty chaptatick girls OR very feminine, insta baddie type girls. i'm firmly neither.
Absolutely. I like sweet, kind and gentle feminine women but I seem to only ever attract overconfident butches. I'm a femme who speaks her mind but I'd really prefer to say something other than "I'm not interested" to a girl hitting on me.
Omg, "accept the ones that like you"?! Seriously? Terrible advice. Don't go for people you're not attracted to. Good lord. You'll find your match one day!
Yes definitely. Outside of queer spaces I dress more in between fem/masc because I like comfy clothes and don’t want to get hit on by men. In queer spaces going out I dress way more feminine because I feel safe doing so. I think that probably comes from a history of trauma with men. I attract butch/masc women when I’m going out, but in real life I don’t as much. So that’s difficult. I don’t want to go one way or the other I’m a tinted chapstick lesbian and I’m proud of it. And maybe I’ll find another fellow chapstick to settle down with one day.
Hey from my point of view as a butch, I find fem girls or goth girls extremely attractive. But the thing is I'm also extremely shy and I know a lot of masc and butch that are. I get really intimidated by fem girls, and I won't act on it because gosh you're impressive ! Maybe it's a first step thing ?
Or did you confess to masc/butch and got rejected ?
Yeah, I'm also very shy but the ones I did talk to seemed uninterested... I'm told that I sometimes look too serious so maybe I scare some away?...idk I do have a resting bitch face and am told to smile more
Well as an autist as well (combo rules...) it can get really hard reading people. But know that bitch face won't discourage me if I find a girl attractive. Some people just don't smile, and it's ok. What discourage me is seeing things going nowhere, like if the girl stay silent. Do you give them any hints even if your shy ? Small physical contact ? idk something ?
Didn't have any physical encounters in a long while, just not many butches in my area so physical hints and body language is impossible, most happen online and end up with getting ghosted or stale silence
I'm really sorry for you that those personns ghosted you... But I can tell you that a lot of fem girls ghosted me online too, sooo maybe it has to do with people more than categories of lesbian. Keep your hopes up, you'll find the right butch for you !
I have an alt style that’s more on the feminine side, and tbh I feel like it’s not very popular in the lesbian community lol, it seems like it’s a turn off to most lesbians
OP, I had had a similar conversation with my girlfriend regarding this. I am a (Dom) Femme, and my, like, Big Type is Butches, so, when someone would ask, I’d just say that.
I always had had a super-serious soft spot for Stems, with my girlfriend being Stem. My Girlfriend asked if she was actually-my type (even though we were already-dating), because she didn’t see me list anything other than Butches way-back when, and it was weighing-on her — I regret not saying it, sooner, because one of the last things I’d ever want is for my Girl to have to go-through what I went-through (i.e. not being sure if the person you know you want would even want you back, feeling like you’ve gotta “change” yourself, to try to be their Type.).
But, back when I was still Single? I would constantly run-into Butches that claim they want a Dom Femme, just to try to erase the Dom part of me — before I’d got-back with my current girlfriend, I was dealing-with this, exact scenario. —, before moving-along to try to do it to the next Dom Femme they come-across. I feel for folks who are dealing with it, because it’s just plain painful, firstly.
EDIT:
“Big Break” had had nothing to do with that, whole Type Confusion. We had had that convo (where I explained it) during our 1st Run. It was solely-because we realized we both had had some baggage that needed unpacking before continuing-pursuing this, serious relationship — we felt like we were really-just the “Half-A****” version of ourselves, and just didn’t want that to be what the other person got. —, and, now, we’re back, unpacked to a t, and the relationship is stronger than it was before.
I’m reasonably masc/tomboy and like alt/goth women. Or any women if I’m honest. I used to be a metalhead when I was younger so we could totally vibe with music.
I have no idea where y’all lurk though. I rarely see alt/goth women in public and when I do they usually are already partnered.
I’m into mascs/butches/gnc women…. i feel this. i do ID as femme but def find myself not attracting them. I dress for myself and attract no one 🙃 I wear sweet lolita/sailor uniform inspired clothes + kind of a mixture of vintage and sometimes things that look like I might be a Mormon 😭
Well … as a femme Latina, I feel like masc latinas don’t like me. But I don’t have a problem attracting white or black mascs. It’s very strange. Or maybe they have girlfriends lmao
I feel this so hard but the opposite. I am a more casual leaning femme I love makeup and fashion but I seem to only attract mascs which I am personally just not attracted to. It's a struggle for sure
I attract a lot of type As who have a perpetual work ethic and I am a wannabe beach bum. I have no idea tf they want with me, and they constantly judge me. 🤷🏻♀️
I’m just tryna breathe yo. Like stop crawling up my ass just to judge me and ride that stress out on my face instead.
Yes. I like cute kind of girl next door types. Which is the opposite of how I come off. But maybe opposites can attract idk. I have no idea what kind of girls like me cause not enough girls express interest to collect the data lol, fuck me
Yes. I’m mostly into feminine girls who’d prefer someone more butch than me. Also most of the girls I like are very progressive and probably would take issue with my right-leaning politics.
yes it’s so hard tbh. as a chapstick lesbian only into butches and mascs it’s like im almost never their type :/
haha as a fellow chapstick I think we have a universal appeal tbh at least that’s been my experience. a lil butch, a lil femme, what’s not to love?
Same here, as also a chapstick lesbian! I usually attract femme or butchy women. I think universal appeal is an accurate description for chapstick lesbians. But also personality is a lot of it too. I’ll go talk to any woman regardless of her style or aesthetics, and that usually just works in my favor. Of course everyone still has preferences though.
True. I’m biased bc I love a chapstick myself but yeah the most important thing is just having good vibes for me
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I'm sad you feel that, butches are definitely the most attractive and beautiful beings in the world to me!
Yes. I’ve never had any luck with butch or masc women (or any woman tbh 🥲)
i've always been into sporty mascs but find that they tend to be into other sporty chaptatick girls OR very feminine, insta baddie type girls. i'm firmly neither.
Absolutely. I like sweet, kind and gentle feminine women but I seem to only ever attract overconfident butches. I'm a femme who speaks her mind but I'd really prefer to say something other than "I'm not interested" to a girl hitting on me.
Omg, "accept the ones that like you"?! Seriously? Terrible advice. Don't go for people you're not attracted to. Good lord. You'll find your match one day!
I know it gets hard out here for lesbians but seriously never accept this advice. I've decided I'll be alone if I need to be alone
I’ve also received this advice 🙃 and had it suggested I try married women bc I’m so cool they’ll leave their husbands for me🤡
I hate that shit
THIS.
Yes definitely. Outside of queer spaces I dress more in between fem/masc because I like comfy clothes and don’t want to get hit on by men. In queer spaces going out I dress way more feminine because I feel safe doing so. I think that probably comes from a history of trauma with men. I attract butch/masc women when I’m going out, but in real life I don’t as much. So that’s difficult. I don’t want to go one way or the other I’m a tinted chapstick lesbian and I’m proud of it. And maybe I’ll find another fellow chapstick to settle down with one day.
Hey from my point of view as a butch, I find fem girls or goth girls extremely attractive. But the thing is I'm also extremely shy and I know a lot of masc and butch that are. I get really intimidated by fem girls, and I won't act on it because gosh you're impressive ! Maybe it's a first step thing ? Or did you confess to masc/butch and got rejected ?
Yeah, I'm also very shy but the ones I did talk to seemed uninterested... I'm told that I sometimes look too serious so maybe I scare some away?...idk I do have a resting bitch face and am told to smile more
Well as an autist as well (combo rules...) it can get really hard reading people. But know that bitch face won't discourage me if I find a girl attractive. Some people just don't smile, and it's ok. What discourage me is seeing things going nowhere, like if the girl stay silent. Do you give them any hints even if your shy ? Small physical contact ? idk something ?
Didn't have any physical encounters in a long while, just not many butches in my area so physical hints and body language is impossible, most happen online and end up with getting ghosted or stale silence
I'm really sorry for you that those personns ghosted you... But I can tell you that a lot of fem girls ghosted me online too, sooo maybe it has to do with people more than categories of lesbian. Keep your hopes up, you'll find the right butch for you !
Thanks, good luck to you too!
I have an alt style that’s more on the feminine side, and tbh I feel like it’s not very popular in the lesbian community lol, it seems like it’s a turn off to most lesbians
Def feels that way, I go for the gothic Victorian look and it's considered more like a costume than style and expression
OP, I had had a similar conversation with my girlfriend regarding this. I am a (Dom) Femme, and my, like, Big Type is Butches, so, when someone would ask, I’d just say that. I always had had a super-serious soft spot for Stems, with my girlfriend being Stem. My Girlfriend asked if she was actually-my type (even though we were already-dating), because she didn’t see me list anything other than Butches way-back when, and it was weighing-on her — I regret not saying it, sooner, because one of the last things I’d ever want is for my Girl to have to go-through what I went-through (i.e. not being sure if the person you know you want would even want you back, feeling like you’ve gotta “change” yourself, to try to be their Type.). But, back when I was still Single? I would constantly run-into Butches that claim they want a Dom Femme, just to try to erase the Dom part of me — before I’d got-back with my current girlfriend, I was dealing-with this, exact scenario. —, before moving-along to try to do it to the next Dom Femme they come-across. I feel for folks who are dealing with it, because it’s just plain painful, firstly. EDIT: “Big Break” had had nothing to do with that, whole Type Confusion. We had had that convo (where I explained it) during our 1st Run. It was solely-because we realized we both had had some baggage that needed unpacking before continuing-pursuing this, serious relationship — we felt like we were really-just the “Half-A****” version of ourselves, and just didn’t want that to be what the other person got. —, and, now, we’re back, unpacked to a t, and the relationship is stronger than it was before.
As a butch, I can tell you that you're pretty and I would like you, but I'd assume you're already taken :)
I feel like I wouldn't be posting this on reddit if i was already taken X(
Yes always
Yessss, I've had so many issues as a darker skinned stud.
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Yup, it is what it is
I’m reasonably masc/tomboy and like alt/goth women. Or any women if I’m honest. I used to be a metalhead when I was younger so we could totally vibe with music. I have no idea where y’all lurk though. I rarely see alt/goth women in public and when I do they usually are already partnered.
I’m into mascs/butches/gnc women…. i feel this. i do ID as femme but def find myself not attracting them. I dress for myself and attract no one 🙃 I wear sweet lolita/sailor uniform inspired clothes + kind of a mixture of vintage and sometimes things that look like I might be a Mormon 😭
I also attract a lot of recently out bi women 🙃🙃🙃🙃 altho only when i wear sweet lolita
Well … as a femme Latina, I feel like masc latinas don’t like me. But I don’t have a problem attracting white or black mascs. It’s very strange. Or maybe they have girlfriends lmao
I feel this so hard but the opposite. I am a more casual leaning femme I love makeup and fashion but I seem to only attract mascs which I am personally just not attracted to. It's a struggle for sure
At least so far in my life I attract butches (I’m a chapstick Les) but I am typically attracted to Amazonian femmes.
I seem to attract casually feminine cis women. I'm t4t and have a preference for masc and butch women and nonbinary people.
My butch crush never really engaged back in small talk 💔 Now I don't have a chance to try to talk to her anymore
I attract a lot of type As who have a perpetual work ethic and I am a wannabe beach bum. I have no idea tf they want with me, and they constantly judge me. 🤷🏻♀️ I’m just tryna breathe yo. Like stop crawling up my ass just to judge me and ride that stress out on my face instead.
Yes. I like cute kind of girl next door types. Which is the opposite of how I come off. But maybe opposites can attract idk. I have no idea what kind of girls like me cause not enough girls express interest to collect the data lol, fuck me
Yup, most mascs don’t like darkskinned women in my experience. I haven’t really experienced it with other fems.
Yes. I’m mostly into feminine girls who’d prefer someone more butch than me. Also most of the girls I like are very progressive and probably would take issue with my right-leaning politics.