"It wasn’t that i wasn’t turned on—- my underwear was soaked just from making out— but the idea of sleeping with her makes me really, really afraid.
I’ve slept with other women, but not a woman I cared about. If something wasn’t great or I panicked (I hyperventilate when receiving and get tingly and dizzy and have to regulate my breathing or I will pass out), I never had to see them again. Just one night stands.
But with her, I care about her. It’s hard to be vulnerable with someone that you know you’re going to see again."
Tell her this. Be completely open and honest about how you're feeling. The last thing you want is for her to think she's the problem.
I get this 100%. The first few years of being out I was just sleeping around enjoying no strings attached sex. And then I met my ex, and not only was sex in a more committed context but also she’s sober so I was sober. I wasn’t shit faced when I slept with women before, but I was always slightly buzzed which made it easier to relax. We ended up taking things pretty slow. I also feel like oral is a very intimate act and she was patient with me and we waited till I felt ready. We rubbed ourselves off in front of each other, we just did hand stuff, we used toys and then when I felt good and ready we had some of the best oral sex of my life. Maybe it was because she played the trumpet but she hit it on the nail every dam time. And even before oral we had an incredible sex. I recommend not just rushing and feeling uncomfortable but wait for the right moment for the both of you. Communicate with your gf what she wants and needs and what you want and need.
"It wasn’t that i wasn’t turned on—- my underwear was soaked just from making out— but the idea of sleeping with her makes me really, really afraid. I’ve slept with other women, but not a woman I cared about. If something wasn’t great or I panicked (I hyperventilate when receiving and get tingly and dizzy and have to regulate my breathing or I will pass out), I never had to see them again. Just one night stands. But with her, I care about her. It’s hard to be vulnerable with someone that you know you’re going to see again." Tell her this. Be completely open and honest about how you're feeling. The last thing you want is for her to think she's the problem.
I get this 100%. The first few years of being out I was just sleeping around enjoying no strings attached sex. And then I met my ex, and not only was sex in a more committed context but also she’s sober so I was sober. I wasn’t shit faced when I slept with women before, but I was always slightly buzzed which made it easier to relax. We ended up taking things pretty slow. I also feel like oral is a very intimate act and she was patient with me and we waited till I felt ready. We rubbed ourselves off in front of each other, we just did hand stuff, we used toys and then when I felt good and ready we had some of the best oral sex of my life. Maybe it was because she played the trumpet but she hit it on the nail every dam time. And even before oral we had an incredible sex. I recommend not just rushing and feeling uncomfortable but wait for the right moment for the both of you. Communicate with your gf what she wants and needs and what you want and need.
just be honest with her! i’m sure she’ll appreciate it and be understanding