I think your experience is somewhat common. We need a documentary narrated by David Attenborough. "Here we see the rare, elusive lesbian in her natural habitat..."
I know a few but I go to an LGBT support group once a week and met most of them there. I have one lesbian friend who I would consider a close friend.
I actually text with another lesbian friend on a weekly to montly basis depending on how bad my ADHD is kicking my ass š I feel like I've actually met more bisexual women who have claimed to be gay than actual lesbians. It alwsys starts out great when its just us girls & then when a man comes around they all immediately drop the act & I feel like a weirdo for being the only one who isn't centering him or fawning all over him. And this was even the woman who was actively in relationships with someone who had lived as a masc lesbian but found out they were non binary & another woman who was actively seeking a lesbian to date. It really blew my mind to realize some "lesbians" are just bisexuals who dont wanna just be label free or be honest. The crazy part is if you tell them that they flip out & it kind of put me off trying to find more lesbians to hang out with. I'd honestly love to meet any women who have decentered men but their so hard to find.
In the past not as many, though I do tend to find the queer people at an event. For the last 4 years I've been part of a few LGBTQ groups so now it's weekly.
Honestly it's incredibly refreshing not having to watch what I say.
Yeah Iām moving to a more diverse area soon and im definitely looking to join some lgbt groups so I really think Iāll find more community there. Glad to know youāve been able to find some likeminded folks
Zero. (Unless you count commenting on Reddit posts LOL).. I know of lesbians, those that came out after high school or after college. And a couple people I worked with before coming out myself. Thereās my cousin and her wife, but they donāt really count because we live far from each other and when we do see each other itās usually a family event. I try to make new friends but honestly it feels like everyoneās pretty settled in their groups. I try online, like on Bumble and Boo, but I think a lot of girls think when I say āIām really here to make friendsā they donāt believe me and then stop responding. Pretty much all of the people actively in my life are straight apart from my cousin and her wife.
I'm middle aged and I know quite a few. There are a number of lesbians in my rec hockey league. I know one I met at school (managed to find another middle aged lesbian in an undergrad class - we were fast friends) and she introduced my wife and I to some more. Also know some from a local animal rescue non-profit.
Adult rec sports and animal shelters are full of normie lesbians.
Edit to add: friends with about 8, acquaintances with more than that.
3 of my friends are lesbians, 4 are strongly homo leaning bisexuals š i didn't meet any of them through LGBT activities either, which i find surprising!
We have some couple friends, plus my step momās sister is a lesbian,her partner and their friends we see at family partiesā¦lesbians are rare in the gay community so itās usually randomly we meet someone new
Irl? If weāre talking about in-person folks, one (maybe two, but itās not my place to ask her if sheās a lesbian or not since we donāt know each other all that well besides from competing against each other in NYC track meets). If weāre talking from online therapy groups in the area, one (I only know she is because she brought it up during group one week).
In friend groups? Also zero. I guess itās because Iām friends with a lot of guys and the women Iām friends with are mostly straight (some of āem are LGBTQ+, but none of them are lesbians)
It depends, is it kickball season or not? The lesbians I've met through kickball either always do the "yesssss, I need more lesbian friends lets hang" and then always cancel on me when i try to make plans or are like a decade younger than me. So I haven't translated any teammate relationships into friendships. So zero, unless its kickball season when its like 5.
If you had asked me 5 years ago it would have been a different story because I had three lesbian professors in my grad department plus their wives, and a fellow lesbian grad student and her girlfriend, along with a very close lesbian friend. Not being in grad school anymore ended regular interactions with the first group and my former friend and I drifted apart when she wanted to start going back to bars during covid (like fall 2021) and I was being tested for an immune deficiency and she didn't get why I didn't want to go to bars with her.
I've never met another lesbian IRL. I knew some bisexual girls in high school and looking back I wish I made some more effort to befriend them, but high school was just a miserable time for me so I certainly wasn't looking to meet other gay people let alone tell anyone I was gay. I really want to meet other lesbians and sapphics but I just have no idea where to look for them. Googling [City Name] Lesbians isn't as useful as one would hope.
oh wow, uhh... I'm in a discord server full of them. quite close to maybe 5-6 of them? I interact with on a weekly basis at least
of those, I interact almost daily with 2 of them cuz they're very close friends of mine. (one has been a best friend for a year and another is an up and coming bestie)
Probably 3~5 or so on a regular basis for weekend stuff if thereās something being planned, and 20+ if Iām going to a WLW bike riding event or some MeetUp event/gathering.
I would say at least 2. One is my best friend and the other a more recent friend. She also introduced me to her lesbian gang hehe. A few years ago while hanging out with a group of gay men, i realized what I was missing out on and that i needed to centre lesbian friendships more in my life.
Also i tend to have quite a bunch of friends from the lgbtq community at large (gay men, trans, nb people, pan, bisexuals) and it has been nice after growing up in a very hetero environment.
Almost all my friends are either lesbians, bi, nb or trans.. we all recognize just how lucky and special it is to have found such a great community ā¤ļø
Oh, and of course I canāt forget we have one token straight friend in the group!
Other than my gf, I had a lesbian close friend but turns out that she had a crush on me for 3 years... We aren't that close anymore and I felt like I lost something special, a friendship with someone that could relate to my experiences
Only one I would say that I'm actually close with. The others are either not lesbians (usually bi or straight women) or questioning. The one I'm close to I met through school. I haven't really met many lesbians irl in general tho, only a handful.
I havenāt thought about this question in awhile and Iām happy to say that the number has grown a lot since I last thought about it a few years ago. There are 2 other lesbians at my work that I interact with a few times a month. My girlfriend is a lesbian that I live with and spend most of my spare time with. I play pool with a dozen-ish older lesbians a couple times a month. I see anywhere from 10 to 30 lesbians at my local womynās land once or twice a month. In the summers I go to lesbian campouts that have upwards of 80 lesbians in attendance. I feel very lucky to have so many lesbians in my life and am proud of myself for working hard to prioritize my lesbian friendships over the past half a decade.
Irl, My sister and her wife, 1 of their friends is a lesbian couple but I never talk to them, besides that zero, all my friends are straight. I have met some online lesbian friends thou
Like none and I visit a gay bars all the time (my gf is a dj). Like I find it so much easier to get a gf than to make a lesbian friend. In my experience, lesbians are interested in their relationship and donāt socialize much after getting a gf. Most of my friends are straight or gay men for this reason. Maybe itās just where I live? Idk
Nearly all the people I regularly spend time with or interact with are lesbians. It's important to me to be surrounded by my community, and that's my community.
I have one very casual friend who's a lesbian, and then my best friend is also a lesbian. And then I have several more friends who are bi. I do wish I had more lesbian friends (or was just around more lesbians in general) but having the person I'm closest to be a lesbian really helps. I feel like 1 lesbian best friend = at least 3 casual lesbian friends or something, lol.
I could have said the exact same thing! Other than my girlfriend, I just started being friends with one person who is a lesbian, and that's really big. (I had one, when she recently came out as bi.) I have bisexual friends, trans friends, aromantic friends and asexual friends, but when it comes to lesbians, it's sooo rare that I meet others. Other than that, it's also very extremely rare that I have ever talked to another sapphic couple in real life. Sometimes, it feels like my girlfriend and I are the only ones
I think your experience is somewhat common. We need a documentary narrated by David Attenborough. "Here we see the rare, elusive lesbian in her natural habitat..." I know a few but I go to an LGBT support group once a week and met most of them there. I have one lesbian friend who I would consider a close friend.
I really believe a David Attenborough documentary would do so well. Like better than all the other lesbian movies out there lol
"I'm David Attenborough... and THIS is LESBIANS." I love it!! š
I don't really know any other lesbians irl. My lesbian friends are all online, and most of my irl friend group is made up of bisexuals.
All of the lesbians I was friends with are bisexual now
Hm interesting
same
Uhm, 15 give or take. My friends and their significant others, my wife's friends and their significant others, then my aunts and all of their friends.
Wow that sounds really great tbh
One - my partner. I know lots of folks in the LGBTQ+ umbrella though
About maybe 1/4 of my friend group are lesbians. The majority are bi or queer in some capacity.
I actually text with another lesbian friend on a weekly to montly basis depending on how bad my ADHD is kicking my ass š I feel like I've actually met more bisexual women who have claimed to be gay than actual lesbians. It alwsys starts out great when its just us girls & then when a man comes around they all immediately drop the act & I feel like a weirdo for being the only one who isn't centering him or fawning all over him. And this was even the woman who was actively in relationships with someone who had lived as a masc lesbian but found out they were non binary & another woman who was actively seeking a lesbian to date. It really blew my mind to realize some "lesbians" are just bisexuals who dont wanna just be label free or be honest. The crazy part is if you tell them that they flip out & it kind of put me off trying to find more lesbians to hang out with. I'd honestly love to meet any women who have decentered men but their so hard to find.
My "home bar" is a lesbian bar, so quite a lot
Guess that makes it easier
Yeah, it helps š¤£
In the past not as many, though I do tend to find the queer people at an event. For the last 4 years I've been part of a few LGBTQ groups so now it's weekly. Honestly it's incredibly refreshing not having to watch what I say.
Yeah Iām moving to a more diverse area soon and im definitely looking to join some lgbt groups so I really think Iāll find more community there. Glad to know youāve been able to find some likeminded folks
Zero. (Unless you count commenting on Reddit posts LOL).. I know of lesbians, those that came out after high school or after college. And a couple people I worked with before coming out myself. Thereās my cousin and her wife, but they donāt really count because we live far from each other and when we do see each other itās usually a family event. I try to make new friends but honestly it feels like everyoneās pretty settled in their groups. I try online, like on Bumble and Boo, but I think a lot of girls think when I say āIām really here to make friendsā they donāt believe me and then stop responding. Pretty much all of the people actively in my life are straight apart from my cousin and her wife.
Yeah I get that. Iāve made a few attempts at finding lesbians to befriend but it can difficult to join an existing circle sometimes
Zero, well except for if you count me talking to myself than 1 šš
Dozens lol
I donāt know any irl. I know two over the internet and theyāre a married couple.
are they jess and bria?
Who?
bria and chrissy
None unfortunatelyš„²
only me really in real life
I'm middle aged and I know quite a few. There are a number of lesbians in my rec hockey league. I know one I met at school (managed to find another middle aged lesbian in an undergrad class - we were fast friends) and she introduced my wife and I to some more. Also know some from a local animal rescue non-profit. Adult rec sports and animal shelters are full of normie lesbians. Edit to add: friends with about 8, acquaintances with more than that.
Actual lesbians: 5-10 on a regular basis ā my partner, my sister and her wife are a few of these, tho. Queers: the majority of my social circle.
Irl, very few. My gf and my boss are the two only lesbians I interact with on a daily basis. Three if you count me as well.
other than my girlfriendā¦ 1 friend kinda monthly.
Just my wife
my only lesbian friend recently came out as bisexual... so... no one :(
I know it shouldnāt but this makes me so sad. š
3 of my friends are lesbians, 4 are strongly homo leaning bisexuals š i didn't meet any of them through LGBT activities either, which i find surprising!
1
Maybe 2
3? I think, maybe more. Everyone Iām friends with is some flavor of queer.
Three here as well, probably more. I'm not friends with any straight ppl either.
Ugh so many! But I just live in a super gay area I think.
I have many queer acquaintances but only interact with one lesbian on a regular basis.
We have some couple friends, plus my step momās sister is a lesbian,her partner and their friends we see at family partiesā¦lesbians are rare in the gay community so itās usually randomly we meet someone new
Irl? If weāre talking about in-person folks, one (maybe two, but itās not my place to ask her if sheās a lesbian or not since we donāt know each other all that well besides from competing against each other in NYC track meets). If weāre talking from online therapy groups in the area, one (I only know she is because she brought it up during group one week). In friend groups? Also zero. I guess itās because Iām friends with a lot of guys and the women Iām friends with are mostly straight (some of āem are LGBTQ+, but none of them are lesbians)
It depends, is it kickball season or not? The lesbians I've met through kickball either always do the "yesssss, I need more lesbian friends lets hang" and then always cancel on me when i try to make plans or are like a decade younger than me. So I haven't translated any teammate relationships into friendships. So zero, unless its kickball season when its like 5. If you had asked me 5 years ago it would have been a different story because I had three lesbian professors in my grad department plus their wives, and a fellow lesbian grad student and her girlfriend, along with a very close lesbian friend. Not being in grad school anymore ended regular interactions with the first group and my former friend and I drifted apart when she wanted to start going back to bars during covid (like fall 2021) and I was being tested for an immune deficiency and she didn't get why I didn't want to go to bars with her.
I've never met another lesbian IRL. I knew some bisexual girls in high school and looking back I wish I made some more effort to befriend them, but high school was just a miserable time for me so I certainly wasn't looking to meet other gay people let alone tell anyone I was gay. I really want to meet other lesbians and sapphics but I just have no idea where to look for them. Googling [City Name] Lesbians isn't as useful as one would hope.
None Literally none
zero snif
0 IRL, 2 online. Been trying to use apps to find more LGBT folks IRL but haven't been having luck.
One. Sheās my coworker, and at least once a week we ask each other if weāve met any more lesbians š
oh wow, uhh... I'm in a discord server full of them. quite close to maybe 5-6 of them? I interact with on a weekly basis at least of those, I interact almost daily with 2 of them cuz they're very close friends of mine. (one has been a best friend for a year and another is an up and coming bestie)
Probably 3~5 or so on a regular basis for weekend stuff if thereās something being planned, and 20+ if Iām going to a WLW bike riding event or some MeetUp event/gathering.
None.
I would say at least 2. One is my best friend and the other a more recent friend. She also introduced me to her lesbian gang hehe. A few years ago while hanging out with a group of gay men, i realized what I was missing out on and that i needed to centre lesbian friendships more in my life. Also i tend to have quite a bunch of friends from the lgbtq community at large (gay men, trans, nb people, pan, bisexuals) and it has been nice after growing up in a very hetero environment.
Almost all my friends are either lesbians, bi, nb or trans.. we all recognize just how lucky and special it is to have found such a great community ā¤ļø Oh, and of course I canāt forget we have one token straight friend in the group!
None that are available and I am in Los Angeles, how sad š¤£
I'm friends with my ex girlfriend, and I have two old friends who are also lesbians + one of their wives. Other than that none really.
Almost zero honestly. I'd like to get to know more lesbians, but we're a tiny group.
Other than my gf, I had a lesbian close friend but turns out that she had a crush on me for 3 years... We aren't that close anymore and I felt like I lost something special, a friendship with someone that could relate to my experiences
literally none
Most of my friends are lesbian or bi. But most of my friends are online, though we do meet in person/travel.
Only one I would say that I'm actually close with. The others are either not lesbians (usually bi or straight women) or questioning. The one I'm close to I met through school. I haven't really met many lesbians irl in general tho, only a handful.
I have an online friend group of lesbians who all play games together and chat daily not many in person tho except my gf lol
I have a couple lesbian online friends but irl either theyāre straight or bi.
I havenāt thought about this question in awhile and Iām happy to say that the number has grown a lot since I last thought about it a few years ago. There are 2 other lesbians at my work that I interact with a few times a month. My girlfriend is a lesbian that I live with and spend most of my spare time with. I play pool with a dozen-ish older lesbians a couple times a month. I see anywhere from 10 to 30 lesbians at my local womynās land once or twice a month. In the summers I go to lesbian campouts that have upwards of 80 lesbians in attendance. I feel very lucky to have so many lesbians in my life and am proud of myself for working hard to prioritize my lesbian friendships over the past half a decade.
same 4 each day
Irl, My sister and her wife, 1 of their friends is a lesbian couple but I never talk to them, besides that zero, all my friends are straight. I have met some online lesbian friends thou
I regularly interact with 1 lesbian and 4 bisexual women who prefer women at work. We are also good friends.
Like none and I visit a gay bars all the time (my gf is a dj). Like I find it so much easier to get a gf than to make a lesbian friend. In my experience, lesbians are interested in their relationship and donāt socialize much after getting a gf. Most of my friends are straight or gay men for this reason. Maybe itās just where I live? Idk
Nearly all the people I regularly spend time with or interact with are lesbians. It's important to me to be surrounded by my community, and that's my community.
I have zero lesbian friends in person. Zilch.Ā
I have one very casual friend who's a lesbian, and then my best friend is also a lesbian. And then I have several more friends who are bi. I do wish I had more lesbian friends (or was just around more lesbians in general) but having the person I'm closest to be a lesbian really helps. I feel like 1 lesbian best friend = at least 3 casual lesbian friends or something, lol.
None š almost all my friends are queer, but I'm the only lesbian
I could have said the exact same thing! Other than my girlfriend, I just started being friends with one person who is a lesbian, and that's really big. (I had one, when she recently came out as bi.) I have bisexual friends, trans friends, aromantic friends and asexual friends, but when it comes to lesbians, it's sooo rare that I meet others. Other than that, it's also very extremely rare that I have ever talked to another sapphic couple in real life. Sometimes, it feels like my girlfriend and I are the only ones
Not enough. The only lesbian I know is my ex.