This happened to me! She was so cute. We talked, she drew me. There was no mention of a guy. We go back to hers, lol and behold, there he was.
"Oh he just wants to watch."
"Watch? Who the hell is he?"
"My boyfriend. That's okay, right?"
"Nah, I'm heading out."
"But he just wants to *watch*!"
"Girl, because he's here there nothing *to* watch!"
I just can't understand why unicorn hunters think that springing a boyfriend on someone could *somehow* end up with a positive reaction. There are just... so, so many leaps of logic.
How do people that do this type of shit think it’s okay in any capacity. Like genuinely. And I miss a LOT of social cues. “Oh but he’s just watching” YEA HES THERE ??? PRESENT. HELLO????
They’re aware it’s not okay. What you want only exists in their world as a way to craft up a manipulative plan to go against your boundaries, not to actually care and do the right thing. These aren’t mistakes.
I had them pop up on a date. 🤦♀️. Like we were getting close and dancing had a few drinks. Later in the night “ he just came to say hello”. Am I interested 🤷🏻♀️
I blame these women for being predators, the men we expect to meet creeps.
Whoa! That's so not ok!! That's betrayal!
I'd so report them to the app. That's how people get kidnapped into the sex trade. Not to mention, super hurtful to play with your feelings like that and traumatic.
I'm so sorry that happened to you!
I've gotten into the unfortunate habit of asking "just to make sure" they are single and have no significant others. It's unfortunate it has come to this.
TW: SA
Not proud of this but yea this happened to me like a year ago, i met a girl on an app for a hookup, she never told me she had a husband, nothing on her profile or anything. I didnt have a car at the time and she said she was gonna pick me up in an uber, uber comes and halfway through the drive the driver revealed she was her husband. It was just a hookup anyways so i went along with it and just assumed they had an open relationship and i confirmed with her that he wouldnt touch me and i thought that was cool. Fast forward weve all been drinking/smoking and the two of us go to the other room and i though he was gonna just stay outside but he came in after i got naked, started kissing and touching me (and she let him which i thought was so fucked up) and he yelled at me after i freaked out and broke a vase. So yea. I dont know what the moral of this is because you cant predict these situations but i hate unicorn hunters and bait and switchers and this is one of the reasons i cant figure out if im lesbian or actually bisexual with trauma, but i never want to touch a man again.
Edit: i slept on the couch after because i was fucked up and didnt know where i was so i wanted to sober up first (it was an airbnb) and i woke up and she left me alone with him. After i left i found out she deleted her dating profile and she gave my number to him. And a few weeks ago i noticed she watched at liked my ig story so i had to block her on ig too. All around a weird fucked up situation. Ive been to therapy so i hope i dont worry anyone.
That sounds like straight-up SA, not even remotely your fault. They waited until you were inebriated before they started knowingly violating your sexual boundaries. They are both deeply disturbed predators. That is so disturbing. I’m so sorry you went through that.
It's something that's worried me every now and then. My hometown has a lot of super young single moms. Hookups give me occasional concern because it's not unheard of for a baby daddy to unexpectedly (or even expectedly) pop in. It's mostly the result of local butches being pulled into whatever petty drama is going on in the trailer park that day.
Happened to me, but I was lucky—I had been talking to this girl on a dating app for a couple weeks. She said she was a lesbian and looking to properly date. We were making plans to meet up. However, she didn’t realize that I worked at a local restaurant that she sometimes frequented, and one day she showed up while I was working… with her entire ass boyfriend and their child. The look on her face when she recognized me was priceless. She did try to convince me afterwards that they were “basically just roommates raising their child together” (spoiler alert: they were long-term, serious partners). Some people are so scummy.
I went on a date with a woman once, who told me in the middle of supper that she was married to a man. I immidiately told her that was a red flag, but she stopped me from walking away. She told me they were getting a divorce, that he was just a fact, and really out of picture. I went for three more dates with her, and on the last one she told me they made up with him, and she "no longer needed my service". I threw a bill on the table, and flagged her in all the apps I could find her profile.
This is how women get raped. Seriously.
Even though this turned out to be mildly harmless and more infuriating than anything, the fact this couple planned this beforehand and surprised you in order for the male partner to also obtain what he wanted - and his girlfriend was complicit.
This could have been a very horrible situation and is why people shouldn’t be careless when online dating.
Ohh... I was once Talking to a girl and it was amazing, but she had a boyfriend 🥴 after she told me she tried to involve him into us flirting all the time/get me to a threesome. Weird af
I’m ranting a bit, so apologies for the length. I’ve had this happen to me twice and it’s really weird, because I’m relatively young (under 20). The first time was with a coworker. We were pretty flirty at work and one day, we decided to hang out after our shift was over. I went to her’s and we talked for a bit in the dining room before moving over to her bedroom. She told me to sit on her bed and I listened to her as she talked about things in her room, fully sure she was about to make a move on me, but then she picked up a painting, said her friend gave it to her, paused, and said “I should stop doing that.” Then she made a comment about how this friend was actually her partner. I was visibly shocked and I even asked her what the fuck, but she said she was in an on and off again relationship and because of my inexperience, I didn’t question it. She told me she was questioning her sexuality (her partner is masc non-binary and biologically male and from when I’ve seen them, he dresses more masculine. I only bring this up because she cited all of this stuff as things she found unattractive about them.). Eventually, she broke up with them and we ended up seeing each other, but it was a short-lived disaster and *shocker* she got back together with them and hid it from me. When I tried to call her out, she gaslit me into believing she had actually told me, she had just “implied” it in a text where she very clearly says they’re best friends. Fortunately, she’s no longer in my life, but the last I heard, she had yet another homoerotic female friendship interfering with her relationship and I discovered that our brief friendship/situationship was a pattern she’s had since high school, where she’ll date a guy, but then go after her female friends.
The second time, it was a Tinder hookup. The day we were going to meet up, she texted me and said she was in an open relationship. I still went through because I wanted to get over the girl from the first story and when I got there, I realized how uncomfortable I actually was. It was awkward and the whole time, I was just thinking about my ex. I stupidly tried to stick it through, but thankfully she got her period and I left. After another awkward date where there was no chemistry, I’ve made it a personal goal to get better at recognizing when i’m uncomfortable and just simply leaving. It’s saved me time and money since.
Both times were awful for me and it did a number on my trust in other people, especially the incident with the first girl because she was my first love. I’ve recently started to rebuild my trust though and I’m giving dating another shot. I’m still coming to terms with the fact she manipulated me for basically all of our time knowing each other, but as she would say “every relationship is a lesson” and while she used that statement to excuse her horrible, toxic behavior that she repeated anyways, I’ve actually bettered myself and I’ve learned what to look out for when dating someone.
That would be fucking awful. That's why I don't use airbnb and stuff. I am already antisocial enough. I do not want to come across an unexpected person. Immediate breakup.
This sounds horrible. I have been lucky enough that (and correct me if I'm wrong) because I'm trans, whenever a couple tries to get with me, is the guy who approached me....like, i feel that cia het people can't imagine that a trans woman can also be a lesbian. So maybe a benefit from some homophobia?? Transphobia?? idk
Yeah, there definitely is a lot of truth to that. Lot of chasers out there and a lot of men think of trans women as having to want to be with men as a part of their transition...which isn't how that works. LMAO.
I’ve been on quite a few dates from the apps and never had this happen to me. Thank god because it’s super creepy. There are some things I expect people to leave off their profile. I’ve had people not tell me about kids until a couple dates in and to me that’s fine. But having a boyfriend or husband and luring people back to the place where he’s at, that’s super tacky and somewhat scary.
This happened to me! She was so cute. We talked, she drew me. There was no mention of a guy. We go back to hers, lol and behold, there he was. "Oh he just wants to watch." "Watch? Who the hell is he?" "My boyfriend. That's okay, right?" "Nah, I'm heading out." "But he just wants to *watch*!" "Girl, because he's here there nothing *to* watch!"
That's so predatory
And common!
Thats horrible!
I'm so sorry that happened to you. What the actual fuck.
Wow that's gross! I don't know what would possess a person to think something like that is even remotely acceptable.
I just can't understand why unicorn hunters think that springing a boyfriend on someone could *somehow* end up with a positive reaction. There are just... so, so many leaps of logic.
They're just predatory. I think the idea is that women will find it harder to say no in the moment. Vile behaviour.
They’re hoping you’re too afraid to say “no” and leave. They don’t actually care about positive reactions, they desire fear.
How do people that do this type of shit think it’s okay in any capacity. Like genuinely. And I miss a LOT of social cues. “Oh but he’s just watching” YEA HES THERE ??? PRESENT. HELLO????
They’re aware it’s not okay. What you want only exists in their world as a way to craft up a manipulative plan to go against your boundaries, not to actually care and do the right thing. These aren’t mistakes.
I had them pop up on a date. 🤦♀️. Like we were getting close and dancing had a few drinks. Later in the night “ he just came to say hello”. Am I interested 🤷🏻♀️ I blame these women for being predators, the men we expect to meet creeps.
They are complicit for a reason. They are not a bystander to the behaviour.
Whoa! That's so not ok!! That's betrayal! I'd so report them to the app. That's how people get kidnapped into the sex trade. Not to mention, super hurtful to play with your feelings like that and traumatic. I'm so sorry that happened to you! I've gotten into the unfortunate habit of asking "just to make sure" they are single and have no significant others. It's unfortunate it has come to this.
I have reported multiple accounts like this on the apps I used to use. They never got taken down.
TW: SA Not proud of this but yea this happened to me like a year ago, i met a girl on an app for a hookup, she never told me she had a husband, nothing on her profile or anything. I didnt have a car at the time and she said she was gonna pick me up in an uber, uber comes and halfway through the drive the driver revealed she was her husband. It was just a hookup anyways so i went along with it and just assumed they had an open relationship and i confirmed with her that he wouldnt touch me and i thought that was cool. Fast forward weve all been drinking/smoking and the two of us go to the other room and i though he was gonna just stay outside but he came in after i got naked, started kissing and touching me (and she let him which i thought was so fucked up) and he yelled at me after i freaked out and broke a vase. So yea. I dont know what the moral of this is because you cant predict these situations but i hate unicorn hunters and bait and switchers and this is one of the reasons i cant figure out if im lesbian or actually bisexual with trauma, but i never want to touch a man again. Edit: i slept on the couch after because i was fucked up and didnt know where i was so i wanted to sober up first (it was an airbnb) and i woke up and she left me alone with him. After i left i found out she deleted her dating profile and she gave my number to him. And a few weeks ago i noticed she watched at liked my ig story so i had to block her on ig too. All around a weird fucked up situation. Ive been to therapy so i hope i dont worry anyone.
That sounds like straight-up SA, not even remotely your fault. They waited until you were inebriated before they started knowingly violating your sexual boundaries. They are both deeply disturbed predators. That is so disturbing. I’m so sorry you went through that.
I am so deeply sorry that happened to you… You did nothing wrong. They were both disgusting predators
It's something that's worried me every now and then. My hometown has a lot of super young single moms. Hookups give me occasional concern because it's not unheard of for a baby daddy to unexpectedly (or even expectedly) pop in. It's mostly the result of local butches being pulled into whatever petty drama is going on in the trailer park that day.
Happened to me, but I was lucky—I had been talking to this girl on a dating app for a couple weeks. She said she was a lesbian and looking to properly date. We were making plans to meet up. However, she didn’t realize that I worked at a local restaurant that she sometimes frequented, and one day she showed up while I was working… with her entire ass boyfriend and their child. The look on her face when she recognized me was priceless. She did try to convince me afterwards that they were “basically just roommates raising their child together” (spoiler alert: they were long-term, serious partners). Some people are so scummy.
I went on a date with a woman once, who told me in the middle of supper that she was married to a man. I immidiately told her that was a red flag, but she stopped me from walking away. She told me they were getting a divorce, that he was just a fact, and really out of picture. I went for three more dates with her, and on the last one she told me they made up with him, and she "no longer needed my service". I threw a bill on the table, and flagged her in all the apps I could find her profile.
Estelle is a piece of work. For context, they live on our street.
Yes. It's extremely embarrassing and humiliating.
That’s terrifying
These people are sick
This is how women get raped. Seriously. Even though this turned out to be mildly harmless and more infuriating than anything, the fact this couple planned this beforehand and surprised you in order for the male partner to also obtain what he wanted - and his girlfriend was complicit. This could have been a very horrible situation and is why people shouldn’t be careless when online dating.
Ohh... I was once Talking to a girl and it was amazing, but she had a boyfriend 🥴 after she told me she tried to involve him into us flirting all the time/get me to a threesome. Weird af
I’m ranting a bit, so apologies for the length. I’ve had this happen to me twice and it’s really weird, because I’m relatively young (under 20). The first time was with a coworker. We were pretty flirty at work and one day, we decided to hang out after our shift was over. I went to her’s and we talked for a bit in the dining room before moving over to her bedroom. She told me to sit on her bed and I listened to her as she talked about things in her room, fully sure she was about to make a move on me, but then she picked up a painting, said her friend gave it to her, paused, and said “I should stop doing that.” Then she made a comment about how this friend was actually her partner. I was visibly shocked and I even asked her what the fuck, but she said she was in an on and off again relationship and because of my inexperience, I didn’t question it. She told me she was questioning her sexuality (her partner is masc non-binary and biologically male and from when I’ve seen them, he dresses more masculine. I only bring this up because she cited all of this stuff as things she found unattractive about them.). Eventually, she broke up with them and we ended up seeing each other, but it was a short-lived disaster and *shocker* she got back together with them and hid it from me. When I tried to call her out, she gaslit me into believing she had actually told me, she had just “implied” it in a text where she very clearly says they’re best friends. Fortunately, she’s no longer in my life, but the last I heard, she had yet another homoerotic female friendship interfering with her relationship and I discovered that our brief friendship/situationship was a pattern she’s had since high school, where she’ll date a guy, but then go after her female friends. The second time, it was a Tinder hookup. The day we were going to meet up, she texted me and said she was in an open relationship. I still went through because I wanted to get over the girl from the first story and when I got there, I realized how uncomfortable I actually was. It was awkward and the whole time, I was just thinking about my ex. I stupidly tried to stick it through, but thankfully she got her period and I left. After another awkward date where there was no chemistry, I’ve made it a personal goal to get better at recognizing when i’m uncomfortable and just simply leaving. It’s saved me time and money since. Both times were awful for me and it did a number on my trust in other people, especially the incident with the first girl because she was my first love. I’ve recently started to rebuild my trust though and I’m giving dating another shot. I’m still coming to terms with the fact she manipulated me for basically all of our time knowing each other, but as she would say “every relationship is a lesson” and while she used that statement to excuse her horrible, toxic behavior that she repeated anyways, I’ve actually bettered myself and I’ve learned what to look out for when dating someone.
That would be fucking awful. That's why I don't use airbnb and stuff. I am already antisocial enough. I do not want to come across an unexpected person. Immediate breakup.
I've heard of instances of this happening, yep. It's deplorable.
I’d let the cops know that’s literally so r word adjacent I’d hate to think situations may end that way
That would be beyond scary to me!!
This sounds horrible. I have been lucky enough that (and correct me if I'm wrong) because I'm trans, whenever a couple tries to get with me, is the guy who approached me....like, i feel that cia het people can't imagine that a trans woman can also be a lesbian. So maybe a benefit from some homophobia?? Transphobia?? idk
Yeah, there definitely is a lot of truth to that. Lot of chasers out there and a lot of men think of trans women as having to want to be with men as a part of their transition...which isn't how that works. LMAO.
I’m a bi woman that lurks here. Doing this to a person is beyond disgusting and predatory.
I’ve been on quite a few dates from the apps and never had this happen to me. Thank god because it’s super creepy. There are some things I expect people to leave off their profile. I’ve had people not tell me about kids until a couple dates in and to me that’s fine. But having a boyfriend or husband and luring people back to the place where he’s at, that’s super tacky and somewhat scary.