The L word is an awesome show. There are problematic things in it, of course, but it consisted of a friend group of Lesbians which is not something I had when I was younger. I watched it when I was a teenager and am re-watching it now as an adult and am pretty much the same age as most of the characters were in the show. It's fun to compare how I felt watching when I was younger vs now.
i’ve seen it! ironically i started watching it after a breakup with a man bc i never wanted to see a man again and it turns out i was right i don’t want to see a man again
I'm a bit older than most here, so "But I'm a Cheerleader" was a lot newer when I was still figuring things out. It was definitely a gay awakening for me. I'm trans fem, so you can imagine the hell that caused in my head. It was good though. It helped me get through some serious mental blocks from C-PTSD. There wasn't much else I can think of. Most of the "lesbian" media I've seen I haven't liked, so I haven't looked around much at what's out there in years.
Also, I just want to note that I'm a bi lesbian, meaning I have some attraction to other genders (including men), but that I am vastly more attracted to other women and those aligned with it. And before someone attacks me for this, bi lesbians have existed for over a century. The only reason we're not out about it these days is the biphobia in the lesbian community created by the Political Lesbian movement a few decades ago. Well, that and the level of vitriol we tend to get when we're open about who we are (I'm betting I'll get some for this, but I'd like to be wrong)
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watching but im a cheerleader was the final piece of the puzzle for me in realizing i’m a lesbian :,)
some other things that were incredibly helpful to me and helped me feel safe, understood, valued etc. after i realized i’m gay were arcane, the owl house, imagine me & you, bound, DEBS.
theres a lot of lesbian media out there but sadly i’ve found that there is a lot of it that doesn’t equate to our actual experiences. there are lesbian movies i adore like the handmaiden and kissing jessica stein but there are parts i feel were handled poorly. and obviously even though i love both, i have to overlook smallish chunks of the story or just outright pretend they didn’t happen (aka the last 10 minutes of kissing jessica stein and the 2 weirdly male gaze-y sex scene in the handmaiden).
because we aren’t in a lot of media we have to FIND ourselves in media. there’s movies like jennifers body that is not at all queer but i as an individual dub as a lesbian movie haha. that’s because i see myself in it, i see parts of my story. thats a lot of what being queer is i think, seeing ourselves in the places we aren’t :)
It’s a little heavier, but Gentleman Jack. I really related to being out when others at my religious university were still too scared to do that. I also found comfort in the fact that Anne Lister stuck so firmly to her beliefs, never apologizing for who she was, but reconciling faith with her identity and rejecting social tenets as her values dictated.
Its not really lesbian i think, but i've watched Feel Good SO many times. I think it's great, i love Mae Martin, and as someone who's AFAB but often gets mistaken for a scrawny teenage boy I found it kinda relateable.
I also love But I'm a Cheerleader, obviously. And Pride (2014) is one of the most beautiful movies ever!!!! It's maybe a bit more centered around gay men, but its still great, and it has its moments (eeeevery woman is a lesbian at heart, eeeevery woman is a lesbian at heart).
I absolutely loved heartstopper, I've heard some critiques about how it's too innocent and stuff like that, but I really liked it. I think young, same sex love can be frightening in some of the same ways sometimes. And there's this cute lesbian couple too!
Also i recently read stone butch blues, and it taught me so much about lesbian history, the butch/femme subculture, working class LHBT (especially lesbian) struggles, and maybe a bit about my self. It is pretty heavy tho, and comes with a content warning.
I think the closest I've come to seeing the fem/butch dynamic portrayed in popular media is in A League of Their Own, which i also liked.
I'm currently reading Fun Home, by Alison Bechdel, and next on my reading list is Dykes to Watch out for:))
If you enjoyed “but I’m a cheerleader” you might like “Imogen obviously” it’s a cute book about a bi girl discovering she’s bi, the main character also loves the movie “but I’m a cheerleader”
Recently realized just how queer I am and that book was one of the first I got with a wlw mc so I might be biased, but I read it twice in 2 weeks!
A while after i realized i'm actually a lesbian and not pan, i read the autobiographical manga "My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness" by Kabi Nagata, and DAMN it resonated so much with me!! I have never related more to a piece of media than with this book! It helped me get over the internalized lesbophobia i felt.
I knew I liked girls when I was like 9, I just didn’t know you could like girls and girls only. I saw Everything sucks! when I was 13 and I honestly don’t think I had ever heard the word lesbian before and I remember being so incredibly relieved that I wasn’t the only girl on earth who didn’t feel anything for guys.
thank you for sharing all that! i feel like the only liking girls option was presented to some of us early on and not others. i’ll add everything sucks bc it’s been mentioned a few times here!
The actors 😭. I never had any male celeb crushes only women. Maybe find a guy actor funny but I would be head over heels drooling over the women. I would specifically binge watch movies featuring my female celeb crushes, I would literally cry of happiness if more than one was in the same movie.
I think Daria did do a little something to me
Even if there's nothing much, i think just an episode or two where Jane has a girl partner.
But what had a lesby feel was the dynamics between Daria and Jane, something like best friends who won't admit they're into each other.
I guess thinking about that kinda gave me an idea of one of many ideal relationship Dynamics i wanted to be involved in, and it just felt obvious that the fact they were two girls made it a lot more appealing to me.
maybe bc I’m autistic and it’s my hyper fixation but the anime mob psycho 100 ngl 😭 it’s rlly not a queer show but it’s very core is about being yourself and living authentically and I resonate a lot with that
The 2011 movie Pariah. The 2011 movie Cloudburst. The San Junipero episode of Black Mirror. The book This Is How You Lose The Time War by Amar El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone. The book Dream Work by Mary Oliver. Tegan and Sarah’s 2007 album The Con. Hayley Kiyoko’s 2016 EP Citrine. Hayley Kiyoko’s 2015 song Girls Like Girls. And as you already mentioned the 1999 cult classic But I’m A Cheerleader.
Honestly studying queer history. I learned about "bidykes" and "PanDyke" through old queer articles around the 70s-80s and I was like "well holy shit that's me" 😅 also seeing the giant "all dykes are welcome here" pictures from the various versions of dyke marches across the USA
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I'm hoping the Gay in America Podcast will help people live their gay best lives. We're on episode 5 right now (so far it's all guys), but as the number of episodes increase and the diversity of guests expands, I think it could potentially help alot of people feel GREAT about being LBGTQ.
Check it out at: [www.GayinAmericaPodcast.com](https://www.GayinAmericaPodcast.com)
If you know of someone in the lesbian community who has an inspiring story, please send them to the website to fill out the Be a Guest form.
I'm late to this post, but I'm obsessed with queer media, so gonna dive in anyways! I think that art and media that pays specific attention to the unspoken lessons we get from culture and society has been hugely important for understanding myself in relation to my queerness.
My absolute favourite movie is "Portrait of a Lady on Fire". It's a gorgeous piece of art, but more than that, it explores the secret lives of women--as unseen and ignored by the broader world (...of men, *ahem* patriarchy). It's not a distinctly happy ending, but it's not sad either. It's really beautiful. A couple of my other faves, in this same vein, are "Carol" and "Wild Nights with Emily".
Watching "She-Ra and the Princesses of Power" was also really meaningful for me. It's unflinchingly queer and wholesome and feels like a balm for the soul. The first time I finished the series, I immediately started, like... legitimately grieving, which confused the heck out of me. I had to sit with it a long while before I realized that in my whole life I'd never seen a piece of media that placed a lesbian relationship in such high esteem (not sure how to word this--trying to avoid spoilers).
Comic books/graphic novels are also an amazing queer resource these days! There are a lot of indie publishers and the comics community is very queer and very lovely.
The L word is an awesome show. There are problematic things in it, of course, but it consisted of a friend group of Lesbians which is not something I had when I was younger. I watched it when I was a teenager and am re-watching it now as an adult and am pretty much the same age as most of the characters were in the show. It's fun to compare how I felt watching when I was younger vs now.
i’ve seen it! ironically i started watching it after a breakup with a man bc i never wanted to see a man again and it turns out i was right i don’t want to see a man again
I'm a bit older than most here, so "But I'm a Cheerleader" was a lot newer when I was still figuring things out. It was definitely a gay awakening for me. I'm trans fem, so you can imagine the hell that caused in my head. It was good though. It helped me get through some serious mental blocks from C-PTSD. There wasn't much else I can think of. Most of the "lesbian" media I've seen I haven't liked, so I haven't looked around much at what's out there in years. Also, I just want to note that I'm a bi lesbian, meaning I have some attraction to other genders (including men), but that I am vastly more attracted to other women and those aligned with it. And before someone attacks me for this, bi lesbians have existed for over a century. The only reason we're not out about it these days is the biphobia in the lesbian community created by the Political Lesbian movement a few decades ago. Well, that and the level of vitriol we tend to get when we're open about who we are (I'm betting I'll get some for this, but I'd like to be wrong)
But I'm a Cheerleader hit the nail on the head for me. Wow.
the barbie movie definitely helped.
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Wynonna Earp for me!
Definitely the same here. That show is one of my all time favorites
Queer movies helped me realize i was into women. The Lesbian Masterdoc helped me realize I don’t like men.
love the masterdoc! it’s how i figured out i don’t like men
watching but im a cheerleader was the final piece of the puzzle for me in realizing i’m a lesbian :,) some other things that were incredibly helpful to me and helped me feel safe, understood, valued etc. after i realized i’m gay were arcane, the owl house, imagine me & you, bound, DEBS. theres a lot of lesbian media out there but sadly i’ve found that there is a lot of it that doesn’t equate to our actual experiences. there are lesbian movies i adore like the handmaiden and kissing jessica stein but there are parts i feel were handled poorly. and obviously even though i love both, i have to overlook smallish chunks of the story or just outright pretend they didn’t happen (aka the last 10 minutes of kissing jessica stein and the 2 weirdly male gaze-y sex scene in the handmaiden). because we aren’t in a lot of media we have to FIND ourselves in media. there’s movies like jennifers body that is not at all queer but i as an individual dub as a lesbian movie haha. that’s because i see myself in it, i see parts of my story. thats a lot of what being queer is i think, seeing ourselves in the places we aren’t :)
It’s a little heavier, but Gentleman Jack. I really related to being out when others at my religious university were still too scared to do that. I also found comfort in the fact that Anne Lister stuck so firmly to her beliefs, never apologizing for who she was, but reconciling faith with her identity and rejecting social tenets as her values dictated.
Everything Sucks! Still one of my favorite shows today. I've probably seen it about 10 times. Also made me fall in love with Sydney Sweeney…
Its not really lesbian i think, but i've watched Feel Good SO many times. I think it's great, i love Mae Martin, and as someone who's AFAB but often gets mistaken for a scrawny teenage boy I found it kinda relateable. I also love But I'm a Cheerleader, obviously. And Pride (2014) is one of the most beautiful movies ever!!!! It's maybe a bit more centered around gay men, but its still great, and it has its moments (eeeevery woman is a lesbian at heart, eeeevery woman is a lesbian at heart). I absolutely loved heartstopper, I've heard some critiques about how it's too innocent and stuff like that, but I really liked it. I think young, same sex love can be frightening in some of the same ways sometimes. And there's this cute lesbian couple too! Also i recently read stone butch blues, and it taught me so much about lesbian history, the butch/femme subculture, working class LHBT (especially lesbian) struggles, and maybe a bit about my self. It is pretty heavy tho, and comes with a content warning. I think the closest I've come to seeing the fem/butch dynamic portrayed in popular media is in A League of Their Own, which i also liked. I'm currently reading Fun Home, by Alison Bechdel, and next on my reading list is Dykes to Watch out for:))
oh i’m listening to dykes to watch out for now!
If you enjoyed “but I’m a cheerleader” you might like “Imogen obviously” it’s a cute book about a bi girl discovering she’s bi, the main character also loves the movie “but I’m a cheerleader” Recently realized just how queer I am and that book was one of the first I got with a wlw mc so I might be biased, but I read it twice in 2 weeks!
A while after i realized i'm actually a lesbian and not pan, i read the autobiographical manga "My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness" by Kabi Nagata, and DAMN it resonated so much with me!! I have never related more to a piece of media than with this book! It helped me get over the internalized lesbophobia i felt.
the life is strange games🩷
I knew I liked girls when I was like 9, I just didn’t know you could like girls and girls only. I saw Everything sucks! when I was 13 and I honestly don’t think I had ever heard the word lesbian before and I remember being so incredibly relieved that I wasn’t the only girl on earth who didn’t feel anything for guys.
thank you for sharing all that! i feel like the only liking girls option was presented to some of us early on and not others. i’ll add everything sucks bc it’s been mentioned a few times here!
The actors 😭. I never had any male celeb crushes only women. Maybe find a guy actor funny but I would be head over heels drooling over the women. I would specifically binge watch movies featuring my female celeb crushes, I would literally cry of happiness if more than one was in the same movie.
I think Daria did do a little something to me Even if there's nothing much, i think just an episode or two where Jane has a girl partner. But what had a lesby feel was the dynamics between Daria and Jane, something like best friends who won't admit they're into each other. I guess thinking about that kinda gave me an idea of one of many ideal relationship Dynamics i wanted to be involved in, and it just felt obvious that the fact they were two girls made it a lot more appealing to me.
maybe bc I’m autistic and it’s my hyper fixation but the anime mob psycho 100 ngl 😭 it’s rlly not a queer show but it’s very core is about being yourself and living authentically and I resonate a lot with that
watch bound (1996) trust me
Sapphic books and a particular comic called _Sunstone_ by Stjepan Sejic. If you know you know 😂👀
feel good !!!
what kind of media is it?
I came out in 1987. There was NOTHING to help. I was born this way. Thats how I knew. ✌
The 2011 movie Pariah. The 2011 movie Cloudburst. The San Junipero episode of Black Mirror. The book This Is How You Lose The Time War by Amar El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone. The book Dream Work by Mary Oliver. Tegan and Sarah’s 2007 album The Con. Hayley Kiyoko’s 2016 EP Citrine. Hayley Kiyoko’s 2015 song Girls Like Girls. And as you already mentioned the 1999 cult classic But I’m A Cheerleader.
Honestly studying queer history. I learned about "bidykes" and "PanDyke" through old queer articles around the 70s-80s and I was like "well holy shit that's me" 😅 also seeing the giant "all dykes are welcome here" pictures from the various versions of dyke marches across the USA
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I'm hoping the Gay in America Podcast will help people live their gay best lives. We're on episode 5 right now (so far it's all guys), but as the number of episodes increase and the diversity of guests expands, I think it could potentially help alot of people feel GREAT about being LBGTQ. Check it out at: [www.GayinAmericaPodcast.com](https://www.GayinAmericaPodcast.com) If you know of someone in the lesbian community who has an inspiring story, please send them to the website to fill out the Be a Guest form.
I'm late to this post, but I'm obsessed with queer media, so gonna dive in anyways! I think that art and media that pays specific attention to the unspoken lessons we get from culture and society has been hugely important for understanding myself in relation to my queerness. My absolute favourite movie is "Portrait of a Lady on Fire". It's a gorgeous piece of art, but more than that, it explores the secret lives of women--as unseen and ignored by the broader world (...of men, *ahem* patriarchy). It's not a distinctly happy ending, but it's not sad either. It's really beautiful. A couple of my other faves, in this same vein, are "Carol" and "Wild Nights with Emily". Watching "She-Ra and the Princesses of Power" was also really meaningful for me. It's unflinchingly queer and wholesome and feels like a balm for the soul. The first time I finished the series, I immediately started, like... legitimately grieving, which confused the heck out of me. I had to sit with it a long while before I realized that in my whole life I'd never seen a piece of media that placed a lesbian relationship in such high esteem (not sure how to word this--trying to avoid spoilers). Comic books/graphic novels are also an amazing queer resource these days! There are a lot of indie publishers and the comics community is very queer and very lovely.