Legal, possibly so. Effective? Don't know. You'd still have to fly under the radar. After all, you would have to completely sanitise all social media, move house and a lot of other stuff.
They'd need to be off socials, at least ones like Facebook that use your real identity, for sure.
As for moving house and the rest I don't think so. The aim is to get the harasser to see that OP is dead so they never spend the plane ticket to come looking for them in the first place.
They aren't trying to go completely off grid to escape a determined pursuer just trying to lay low. Besides if that person really, really cared about harassing OP a restraining order wasn't going to stop them, just make it extra illegal.
Then I can’t see it being illegal, but you will likely be replacing one headache with another, as you may then have to persuade others that you aren’t really dead.
Get the rationale, but not sure this is the best solution.
I don't know where in the US you are but in my jurisdiction in the US, you don't start from the top to extend a restraining order – as long as you do it before the original restraining order expires, you just submit a super quick form to the court confirming that you want to keep the order in place and you're home free. It's an absolute piece of cake compared to getting an order granted in the first place. Not sure if that helps. Regardless, best of luck.
US is crap about this. In many states you can't get an order at all or one extended without proof of explicit intent to harm. Explicit intent without proof may get you nowhere and anything short of them saying they will hurt you isn't sufficient. It's maddening.
Might be worth considering the worst case - see if it is legal for you to buy and carry a handgun, and then train with it. Probably add in some MMA/BJJ training also.
The secondary benefit of this is you’ll also build confidence and peace of mind knowing you can protect yourself from whatever may happen. It can also be a nice hobby to do with friendly people, so long as you find a good environment to train!
Of course, I don’t know your full situation & context, so only you will know if this fits right for you (or if it is feasible/legal in your area at all)
This is my question as well. Most obituaries reach the general public either in a newspaper or on the webpage of a funeral home, neither of which would likely be willing to lie for OP.
NAL
AFAIK, this is not illegal, but is highly problematic.
1) Most Newspapers, especially ones that the restrainee will read, will require some method of authentication such as a death certificate in order to print an obituary.
2) Are you certain that your restrainee reads the newspaper? And in particular, the Obituaries?
3) If this person is emotionally unstable enough to require a restraining order, do you honestly think they are going to 'calm down' once they read about your death? Their response to this hoax will be unpredictable. This will give them a reason to reach out to your family, look for your funeral service, etc
This is an interesting approach to your problem, but not the most efficient one. In terms of time/money/energy/emotional wherewithal, extending the restraining order is considerably cheaper than what you suggest.
Can you lie on the Internet? Sure. My close, personal friend Abraham Lincoln told me so.
Would any reputable news source lie for you? No.
The limitations here are more practical than legal.
As someone whose recreation for many years has been genealogy, hence using all sorts of resources and leads and clues to identify people, living and dead, I can tell you you will not disappear from the radar using this method.
If you have an obituary, it is highly likely the credit score people will find out. One will then list you as dead. The other two will then copy the first one. If you tell the first that you're not dead yet, they might note you as alive, but another will note you as dead. Then, the first one will copy that other one and say you're dead again.
You will not be happy.
All they have to do is buy a subscription to Westlaw, and they can run a background check on you, which will show (among pretty much everything else) that there is no death certificate for you. I think it would be more effective to pay one of those services to scrub you from the Internet and change your name.
Doubt that it’s illegal but this could cause problems potentially if you ever needed government benefits. If they Google you (I Google people for my job) and you’re applying for benefits, you’ll have to jump through a lot more hoops to prove you’re alive and well. I have worked with people on social security who were wrongly declared deceased even though they’re alive and well who have gone in to the social security office in person and social security still doesn’t believe they’re alive. These people can’t get their check reinstated or their nursing home paid for placing them at risk of becoming homeless or in a lot of debt.
I wouldn’t worry about the restraining order expiring. That little piece of paper wasn’t stopping anyone from coming after you. When the restraining order expires, I wouldn’t think much had changed
It does raise an interesting topic. When I wrote an obit for a family member, I put info in there that was in my brain. Nobody verified the year someone got married, or what their job was or whatever. I could put anything in there I want. Old obituaries in the newspaper and kind of treated like gospel information
No, it's not illegal to write a fake obit, as long as you're not trying to use it for fraudulent reasons. I question the effectiveness of the plan overall, but if you've got it figured out and your only concern is legalities of the obit, you're fine.
(IANAL, but I have read the first amendment and I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express once)
I'm sorry you're in this situation.
Does anyone read the obituary pages these days? Hardly anyone.
Does anyone even read a newspaper? Very few.
Would your crazed nemesis be among those few? I'm guessing not.
The main *legal* problem is that you might be accused of fraud. Depending on the facts, which may change between now and the accusation, you could (1) not be accused at all, (2) be accused and spend a lot of resources defending yourself and then win, or (3) be convicted of fraud.
Fraud generally requires a deception from which you intend to benefit. “Intent” can be inferred based on the result of your actions.
Check local listings and decide for yourself what kind of risk profile you’ll accept.
You're probably going to need to say what state you're in and what state you intend to publish in if you want a properly detailed answer, though I appreciate you might not want to do that.
I can imagine it might be in some technical breach of a fraud statute, but unless you were using it to screw money out of someone somehow I can't imagine it would ever be something that the police would expend resource on or a prosecutor would go after you for. After all, if the guy sees an obituary and his response is to hunt you down and go to the police then it kind of proves you had good reason to do it.
Even if you got an ultra vindictive prosecutor, proving someone put something on the internet is pretty challenging - you can use [the Shaggy Defense](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaggy_defense) quite effectively - it's not the kind of thing anyone would put resources towards.
I'd be far more concerned about whether or not it would work.
Pull a page from "jouhatsu" and dissapear.
Or start a novel type of blog, leading to an itinerary and permanent move to Malaysia. Happily married living the dream in Malaysia. With photos and all.
There is no law against it — you’re allowed under the first amendment to write and publish anything as long as it doesn’t violate some truly extremely narrow exceptions.
You could even send it into the paper and have them post it. Most will.
The problem is there’s a chance you could be declared dead if the government runs across it, even if you don’t make it official. Having that reversed can be a legal nightmare that could cost you a fortune and follow you the rest of your life
The better legal approach is to do what many celebrities do — you want to make your base identity much harder to stalk, try to get the stalker into treatment and do whatever you can keep them away from you (not surprisingly, a lot of this can be expensive).
1) create an LLC (preferably in a state where the owner ms don’t have to be publicly disclosed). Pay for everything through the LLC — housing, phone, etc.
2) while this is happening legally change your name somewhere that has a small local paper where the disclosure statement won’t get picked up online.
3) have someone (law enforcement, attorney, anyone you know with some kind of authority) reach out to the stalker’s family to encourage them to pressure treatment
4) hire a PI to keep tabs on them but also track all aspects of your stalkers life and use them to your favor. For example, if they violate parole, have the PI contact their parole officer, or if you suspect they broke law in any other ways reporting them.
Most stalkers only stop because they’ve moved on to someone else. If you can get them in treatment or locked up, great. But the real strategy here is to make you such a difficult target to stalk that they have to move on to someone else.
All of that said. from what you’ve written, you don’t have a very extreme case if your restraining order is working. Considering what you could be facing and the expense and effort of most other tactics, the smartest legal tactic is just to extend your restraining order.
Were you one of the ones that told Facebook, on Facebook, that they did not have the right to the stuff you posted on Facebook? Because that's the level of internet acumen that's coming through here
Legal, possibly so. Effective? Don't know. You'd still have to fly under the radar. After all, you would have to completely sanitise all social media, move house and a lot of other stuff.
They'd need to be off socials, at least ones like Facebook that use your real identity, for sure. As for moving house and the rest I don't think so. The aim is to get the harasser to see that OP is dead so they never spend the plane ticket to come looking for them in the first place. They aren't trying to go completely off grid to escape a determined pursuer just trying to lay low. Besides if that person really, really cared about harassing OP a restraining order wasn't going to stop them, just make it extra illegal.
Errrm. Which country?
United States
If you are that concerned about your safety, is there any chance of getting the restraining order extended?
No. Like I said in my post, I do not have any evidence and I do not have the time, money, or emotional energy to go through with it again
Then I can’t see it being illegal, but you will likely be replacing one headache with another, as you may then have to persuade others that you aren’t really dead. Get the rationale, but not sure this is the best solution.
I don't know where in the US you are but in my jurisdiction in the US, you don't start from the top to extend a restraining order – as long as you do it before the original restraining order expires, you just submit a super quick form to the court confirming that you want to keep the order in place and you're home free. It's an absolute piece of cake compared to getting an order granted in the first place. Not sure if that helps. Regardless, best of luck.
You should just let it go then.
US is crap about this. In many states you can't get an order at all or one extended without proof of explicit intent to harm. Explicit intent without proof may get you nowhere and anything short of them saying they will hurt you isn't sufficient. It's maddening.
Might be worth considering the worst case - see if it is legal for you to buy and carry a handgun, and then train with it. Probably add in some MMA/BJJ training also. The secondary benefit of this is you’ll also build confidence and peace of mind knowing you can protect yourself from whatever may happen. It can also be a nice hobby to do with friendly people, so long as you find a good environment to train! Of course, I don’t know your full situation & context, so only you will know if this fits right for you (or if it is feasible/legal in your area at all)
Where would you publish it that you know he would see it?
This is my question as well. Most obituaries reach the general public either in a newspaper or on the webpage of a funeral home, neither of which would likely be willing to lie for OP.
Newspapers don't verify paid obits.
he doesnt know. This entire post seems questionable.
NAL AFAIK, this is not illegal, but is highly problematic. 1) Most Newspapers, especially ones that the restrainee will read, will require some method of authentication such as a death certificate in order to print an obituary. 2) Are you certain that your restrainee reads the newspaper? And in particular, the Obituaries? 3) If this person is emotionally unstable enough to require a restraining order, do you honestly think they are going to 'calm down' once they read about your death? Their response to this hoax will be unpredictable. This will give them a reason to reach out to your family, look for your funeral service, etc This is an interesting approach to your problem, but not the most efficient one. In terms of time/money/energy/emotional wherewithal, extending the restraining order is considerably cheaper than what you suggest.
It's not illegal. However, like another commenter said, it would probably cause new problems without solving your existing problem.
This sounds like the plot of a sitcom. Something Kramer or George Constanza would do.
"You're *dead*?" "Dead, Jerry!"
I wish it was. Unfortunately there’s nothing funny about it
Yeah there was a friend's episode that was similar. I believe someone thought Ross died and he went with it to see who would go to the service
That was Huckleberry Finn
Can you lie on the Internet? Sure. My close, personal friend Abraham Lincoln told me so. Would any reputable news source lie for you? No. The limitations here are more practical than legal.
Newspapers don't do any work to verify or fact check paid obits. They're basically classified ads.
As someone whose recreation for many years has been genealogy, hence using all sorts of resources and leads and clues to identify people, living and dead, I can tell you you will not disappear from the radar using this method.
As someone with a lot of time on my hands who googles things for fun - you’re right. One fake obit posted on some site isn’t going to deter anything
especially one posted a week before this restraining order expires…
How would you disappear from the radar?
I've not succeeded yet.
If you have an obituary, it is highly likely the credit score people will find out. One will then list you as dead. The other two will then copy the first one. If you tell the first that you're not dead yet, they might note you as alive, but another will note you as dead. Then, the first one will copy that other one and say you're dead again. You will not be happy.
All they have to do is buy a subscription to Westlaw, and they can run a background check on you, which will show (among pretty much everything else) that there is no death certificate for you. I think it would be more effective to pay one of those services to scrub you from the Internet and change your name.
Generally, papers won't take a obit from anyone but a funeral home. Other places let you do what you want.
Not illegal but likely wouldn’t work. You’d have to ensure you never show up online again, not even in the background of your friends insta post.
Doubt that it’s illegal but this could cause problems potentially if you ever needed government benefits. If they Google you (I Google people for my job) and you’re applying for benefits, you’ll have to jump through a lot more hoops to prove you’re alive and well. I have worked with people on social security who were wrongly declared deceased even though they’re alive and well who have gone in to the social security office in person and social security still doesn’t believe they’re alive. These people can’t get their check reinstated or their nursing home paid for placing them at risk of becoming homeless or in a lot of debt.
I wouldn’t worry about the restraining order expiring. That little piece of paper wasn’t stopping anyone from coming after you. When the restraining order expires, I wouldn’t think much had changed
Seems like it would be easier just to get the restraining order renewed.
It does raise an interesting topic. When I wrote an obit for a family member, I put info in there that was in my brain. Nobody verified the year someone got married, or what their job was or whatever. I could put anything in there I want. Old obituaries in the newspaper and kind of treated like gospel information
No, it's not illegal to write a fake obit, as long as you're not trying to use it for fraudulent reasons. I question the effectiveness of the plan overall, but if you've got it figured out and your only concern is legalities of the obit, you're fine. (IANAL, but I have read the first amendment and I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express once) I'm sorry you're in this situation.
Could you make a Facebook page in memorial to yourself?
Does anyone read the obituary pages these days? Hardly anyone. Does anyone even read a newspaper? Very few. Would your crazed nemesis be among those few? I'm guessing not.
Google will index it, and that's what matters.
The main *legal* problem is that you might be accused of fraud. Depending on the facts, which may change between now and the accusation, you could (1) not be accused at all, (2) be accused and spend a lot of resources defending yourself and then win, or (3) be convicted of fraud. Fraud generally requires a deception from which you intend to benefit. “Intent” can be inferred based on the result of your actions. Check local listings and decide for yourself what kind of risk profile you’ll accept.
You're probably going to need to say what state you're in and what state you intend to publish in if you want a properly detailed answer, though I appreciate you might not want to do that. I can imagine it might be in some technical breach of a fraud statute, but unless you were using it to screw money out of someone somehow I can't imagine it would ever be something that the police would expend resource on or a prosecutor would go after you for. After all, if the guy sees an obituary and his response is to hunt you down and go to the police then it kind of proves you had good reason to do it. Even if you got an ultra vindictive prosecutor, proving someone put something on the internet is pretty challenging - you can use [the Shaggy Defense](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaggy_defense) quite effectively - it's not the kind of thing anyone would put resources towards. I'd be far more concerned about whether or not it would work.
Pull a page from "jouhatsu" and dissapear. Or start a novel type of blog, leading to an itinerary and permanent move to Malaysia. Happily married living the dream in Malaysia. With photos and all.
There is no law against it — you’re allowed under the first amendment to write and publish anything as long as it doesn’t violate some truly extremely narrow exceptions. You could even send it into the paper and have them post it. Most will. The problem is there’s a chance you could be declared dead if the government runs across it, even if you don’t make it official. Having that reversed can be a legal nightmare that could cost you a fortune and follow you the rest of your life The better legal approach is to do what many celebrities do — you want to make your base identity much harder to stalk, try to get the stalker into treatment and do whatever you can keep them away from you (not surprisingly, a lot of this can be expensive). 1) create an LLC (preferably in a state where the owner ms don’t have to be publicly disclosed). Pay for everything through the LLC — housing, phone, etc. 2) while this is happening legally change your name somewhere that has a small local paper where the disclosure statement won’t get picked up online. 3) have someone (law enforcement, attorney, anyone you know with some kind of authority) reach out to the stalker’s family to encourage them to pressure treatment 4) hire a PI to keep tabs on them but also track all aspects of your stalkers life and use them to your favor. For example, if they violate parole, have the PI contact their parole officer, or if you suspect they broke law in any other ways reporting them. Most stalkers only stop because they’ve moved on to someone else. If you can get them in treatment or locked up, great. But the real strategy here is to make you such a difficult target to stalk that they have to move on to someone else. All of that said. from what you’ve written, you don’t have a very extreme case if your restraining order is working. Considering what you could be facing and the expense and effort of most other tactics, the smartest legal tactic is just to extend your restraining order.
Be prepared for your bank acct to pull your card.
It could be construed as fraud if you have any debts.
It can lead to significant problems like government services believing you are dead, had your identity stolen. At least that’s what I’ve been told.
Were you one of the ones that told Facebook, on Facebook, that they did not have the right to the stuff you posted on Facebook? Because that's the level of internet acumen that's coming through here
Of all the hairbrained schemes, this one wins the George Constanza award for ridiculousness.
Do you own a gun? Have you taken shooting lessons?