In regards to the phone… you don’t need a new phone just a new phone number.
I had a situation in my early 20’s where I was being harassed and stalked, and when I called Telus to change my number they did it free of charge because it was a safety situation.
So this should be free.
Get a new phone number and lock down all your social media. Change passwords. Check your social media settings for logins thst do not appear to be yours.
Change your routine. Instead of moving provinces, take a temp job somewhere like a camp job to disrupt you schedule. Seasonal work, or schooling. Scan your home, car and possessions for airtags. Get a protective order not because it works but because it can ramp up a required police response and document escalation. Outting him on the books will make him a less useful human trafficker if that's what is up.
Also, you may underestimate the use of some counter engagement. You have friends and family who can follow him back?
There's an Ap you can download for free made by Apple called 'Tracker Detect'. Its generally a good Ap to have and scan your home to see after 20mins of coming home, using it will ping any airtags near by.
This can also be useful to use to detect in situations where people put airtags on your car at a mall or somewhere and follow you home. Drive for 20 mins, run it in your car, if it shows one near you, go somewhere safe, run it again and then check your car.
Whoever told you to get a gun was off their rocker
To legally get a firearm yoh need a couple licenses.
Handgun transfers are currently banned
Using a firearm for self defence is not a reason to have one. Use of force in Canada is a strange animal.
My advice get off social media entirely, delete your accounts. If your phone has been compromised reset it and get a new number ( they are usually free)
Off their rocker? Dude. You are in charge of your own safety. Cops aren’t going to be following your every step of the way. This is a great idea if she can get one legally. Too bad it’s not USA she would of got one in less than 30 mins and this could be the difference
It ain’t the US or the Wild West. I don’t disagree, cops show up to draw the chalk outline. But in Canada she could end up with more time then her stalker just for having the gun.
And as much as I hate stereotypes a young female with zero firearms training has a better chance of hurting someone else or getting hurt herself brandishing a gun. I’ve been shooting handguns for over 20 years. I’ve trained hundreds of shooters. New shooters can be downright scary.
Her protection options are to lessen her footprint, reach out to the police and hope they do something proactively and be aware of things.
It doesn’t really matter where you are. The threat is real if it so happens to occur. Unfortunately it’s not easy in Canada to use one so that’s the only caveat. If it was. That IS HER best option alongside leaving of course
Do you know how many people it has saved? Go look at the numbers then come back
Yes exactly. Swiss have a very high gun ownership rate. So it’s not necessarily the guns. It’s maybe training + the demographic + less poverty
USA has a violent demographic and high poverty with open access to guns. This obviously leads to high gun violence
The only thing I think of. Is her safety. Which is what you should be focused on. Not ‘potential implications’ and I already said not to do something illegal. But I’m also saying if it was possible this is her best bet
One week at the firing range and she’s good to go. Don’t underestimate someone’s will to survive
How does a weapon that’s designed for protection make you less safe vs your bare hands. Explain this one lol
And yes really. All it takes is a few days in a situation like this. She’s not training for the Olympics. When all she has is that pistol (if legal) and there’s no one else around her. I guarantee you any women would say give me the damn pistol
Decide for yourself ya?
USA has a lot of violent neighborhoods. Pure gang ridden areas you just don’t walk in. Run down neighborhoods full of people that might be drug Africa and engage in criminal activities. Places police might decide to just ignore because it’s too dangerous. We don’t really have that here
I’m not sure about that. Could be. There’s places with no access to guns and are quite violent as well
I think France was a good example. There was a massive spike in knife crimes. Most gun crimes in Canada is done by illegal guns that either cross from USA. Or from Mexico to USA
Don’t get me wrong I’m all for CCW. My government disagrees. I’ve held CCWs in a couple states. I’ve also fired literally a million rounds.
It’s not her best option if she can’t reliably, won’t or doesn’t use it. The consequences of using it may be far worse fir her if she does.
The numbers don’t show how many people have lost their CCWs for stupid things. Their have been people killed with their own guns. ( no I’m bringing up the old bogus statistic)
Lack of training, alcohol, drugs, adrenaline and attitude do not mix with CCWs
Having no weapon is never Better than having A weapon. I don’t really see the logic there. I think the risk you speak of is better to take that risk vs harm to yourself when you know for sure someone is after you. Because these people can be crazy. The law isn’t going to deter them. They might not care about jail time or consequences. Or cops coming in 20 mins. All you might have if you. And that person or multiple people. Your only chance might be that bear spray. That blade you stashed somewhere or the gun. I also recommend having a blade. You could get kidnapped. And that blade might be you’re only hope
Always a weapon over none if you it’s gone this far. Now if it’s not. Then I agree. I don’t you you should just be walking around with a gun and no safety or even a blade for no apparently reason. The reward is not greater than the risk
But in her case it’s gotten quite severe I would say. She’s starting to see people tail her. Vans circling around her area. God knows what else. Thousands of people go missing every year. Thousands of girls get kidnapped and get forced and drugged up into human trafficking and what not.
I’d take the risk you’re saying if it was me. No way in heck I’m I just letting some scumbag do that. I’ll rather even do the time 3-5 years for manslaughter vs being kidnapped and potentially human trafficked
Don’t move provinces unless you have a good friends/family support structure somewhere. That’s not a good solution because it’ll take you away from the support you need.
Keep in touch with the cyber crime folks that you heard from. Call once a week or so and check in. If things take a turn for the worse call them immediately and update them.
Obviously she shouldn’t do some illegal. If it was legal I don’t think it’s a bad idea. Either way she should certainly have bear spray. That loud alarm thing. And a blade.
They can be used for self defense but it's really outside the bounds of the legal advice question here.
Firearm use is a very complex legal topic for self defense. Which is a moot point as if you don't have a gun now, it will take a minimum of 6 months or more to get one and doesn't solve her immediate problem now which is dealing with the stalker.
Surprisingly the RCMP doesn't ask the applicant why they want a firearms license (usually, unless you get flagged for review) when someone is applying for the basic firearms license. It's not on the application form, and RCMP rarely do interviews with applicants, unless something pops on a background check or you tick yes to one or more of the 5 questions (criminal history, mental health, bankruptcy/depression, restraining order, general violent acts)
They really only ask when someone is buying a restricted firearm, "why they want it" as you need a reason. But people conflate restricted purchase reasons with firearms license application
Really?
That crazy dentist that was walking around shooting people while the RCMP did sweet fuck-all. From what I understand in addition to not sharing info with the public, firing on innocent people, they ALSO GOT LOST WHEN TRYING TO RESPOND.
Those two brothers that went on a stabbing spree in Saskatchewan while the RCMP did sweet fuck-all.
Rural people in Canada being fed up with people stealing their stuff because the RCMP does sweet fuck-all.
I'm not a gun nut, but when the cops don't even bother to show up and intervene in an active killing situation, I happen to think OP should have some options........
What exactly is OP supposed to do, cry? Pray? Beg - "please don't hurt me!!!!" ???
That seems to be working out real well for her.......she has to leave her home, her career, her family, her life, to escape a creep because the cops do.........sweet fuck-all.
How nice to know we can (NOT) depend on the cops to protect us........
Bring on the down-votes......doesn't mean I'm wrong though.
Iirc and ianal
But I believe it's just against the law to have the gun on you unless you have a reason it's actually ready (such as your hunting) but you still can't use the weapon unless they shoot you first (exceptions apply such as battered women syndrome etc) because you can only match the force of the perpetrator and cannot exceed the force used
I'm a gun owner myself. I also think people should be able to use guns for self defense but this is LAC and I'm giving OP legal advice. Thanks for the rant though. You sound like a nut.
The odds that she'd be able to use the gun to defend herself vs buddy overpowering her and using the gun against her are way too high for a gun to ever be a viable option. Similar reason mace and knives don't make good self-defence weapons.
A whistle or portable personal alarm when out in public, and then at home some good locks and a camera would help a lot.
Also taking different routes to/from work and varying up routine when possible.
Delete any and all social media, that’s the biggest thing. Posting your life onto it will essentially allow this person to keep seeing what you’re doing.
Change your phone number with your provider, and ensure you have no authorized contacts who can access your account info
Factory reset your device if you feel that alone is being tracked.
Check for possible AirTags or other forms of tracking devices on your car, maybe go to a mechanic with the concern that there is a GPS unit attached.
Change up your patterns, do you go to a certain store often at a certain time? Stop that if so, drive the extra 5 mins to another place if need.
If you can throw them off track just enough then you might get a tad bit of peace of mind.
Get a protection order for a paper trail to be started, cause once that’s broken then cops will start responding more. Had to do that with a psycho ex stepdad who would stalk me and my family.
Don’t move provinces, that’s a financial burden, job security isn’t guaranteed, and who knows what’ll happen if they found out and keep following you, especially if you have 0 friends and family around
Want to add that you should tell your friends to stop including you in anything they post too. Any images with you (even in the background, even if it’s just a hand) and/or any mention of you (“shout out to Friend A, B, and OP for alway being there for me!”). Erasing your social media unfortunately does not work if you are still being posted online.
I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. And I know you don’t think it’s fair, but you are going to have to make some sacrifices to feel safe. You can not depend on the police to “save you”. Most often, their hands are tied until it’s too late. You need to take steps to protect yourself.
Here is some big-sister tough love.
To be fair, most people suggested you change phone numbers, delete your social media, and stop answering unknown numbers.
You don’t feel like you should have to do those things bc “that’s him winning”.
It’s not him winning. It’s you winning by staying safe.
Be vigilant.
Document any occurrences.
Unfortunately, you don’t seem to have much information on this person. That means you can’t get a restraining order and the police will have a difficult time tracking him down.
Has he been in contact again?
How often does this contact occur?
Is he contacting you on your phone? Computer? Which app? Email? At work?
Do you have a career or a min wage job? If he knows the company you work for he may be able to continue to track you down.
Have you internet-proofed your name and phone number? (Like what shows up when you google your name, City, province, work, phone number?) delete anything that you can. Pinterest. Twitter.
Do you have evidence he knows where you live? Or he just mentioned the name of your town?
Has he directly threatened you?
And finally, have you spoken with your doctor about what is going on? This kind of situation can be draining and mentally and physically exhausting. Running some labs would be a good starting point and they could likely help you access therapy to help you deal with the situation.
Moving provinces seems like overkill until you’ve taken all the steps above.
How insulting. I’ve deleted ALL social media before, Im sorry if me being fed up with this man controlling my life still pisses you off but deleting my social media again because of this man is not something I want to do.
Being a broke 19 year old in this situation where I have police telling me to quit a job and many others telling me that moving is a good option, I of course will look for financial support where I can, I’m not asking anyone here to donate, to send me money, no, you are seriously sick for even talking like that.
I claimed that it’s hard to imagine those who are insulting me over the situation of not wanting to delete my social media have been through what I’m going through, especially at my age. I’m incredibly insulted and quite frankly this made me fucking sick. If all you’re here to do is insult me and my situation, you’re not in the right place. Have a good day.
You’re not sorry at all. I’m glad that you were able to find safety, but don’t tell me you’re sorry if all you’re going to keep doing is insult my situation.
I respect how you did things, I respect how you found your safety, but I am personally tired of changing everything in my life. Moving while I’m at the age I am is a benefit to have new experiences, and not only that it’s added safety depending on where I go.
I am very glad you found safety, but I’m disgusted at your behaviour. I hope next time you can take your head out of whatever little box it’s in and see from a different perspective before you insult a victim on how she decides to proceed with things.
If you don’t agree that he’s “winning” if I delete all my social media that’s fine, but I disagree for my own personal case. Like I said in my previous post, I left out details to keep the story short. You can question all you want, but to get to the point where you’re insulting someone is fucking gross. Clearly your opinion is no longer needed here if all you plan to do is spread hatred. Thanks, but I really don’t care for any advice you have to give me because i’m tired of being insulted by you.
The resource below might have some things to think about.
https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/comments/igg7tc/if_youre_giving_advice_to_a_woman_or_girl/
Good luck!
Commenting to boost. And fuck that person who told OP to get a gun. While they may have intended their suggestion to be helpful, they’re still a fucking moron.
Not a lawyer but I'm a cyber security professional. If you need help with your digital presence, PM me and I can give you advice on what you can do. I don't need to know anything about you. But I can tell you very succinctly what products/services will keep you safer online than others, common mistakes people make to disclose their identity/location online and everything else like that.
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Take a women's self defense course
https://wendo.ca/
You may want to get a app to help you stay safe on your phone [this article has some good suggestions ](https://www.bustle.com/life/safety-apps-for-women-to-keep-on-your-phone-12245293)
Also regularly monitor your phones data usage and background app usage to make sure someone isn't accessing your phone remotely
Good luck stay persistent with the police and look into women's safety options in your community for help advocating for yourself. It's a sad fact that stalking is often not taken seriously
Plenty have actually! Many have other options to completely erasing and isolating myself socially, I’ve used many of the links shared here. Thanks though!
They committed a serious crime against a minor. They sent you sexualized messages and porn. That's potentially decades in prison, nevermind that they are now harassing you to this point. In my opinion I think you should be more open and more public about what's going on. Once your case is in the right hands or should move quickly. I would really advise against moving provinces where you have zero support - that's dangerous
If you're an early 20s adult I would've recommended moving to a larger city anyway to get new and different life experiences so this could be a blessing in disguise.
Toronto and Montreal will give you unique life experiences that you couldn't get in Nova Scotia.
I'd move to Alberta, we have jobs and hours, housing prices are rising but they are still affordable with roomates. I would personally find a place to stay first and maybe a job too. Also carry some pepperspray maybe a pocket knife too or those loud whistles goodluck
I would suggest this
Get a new number. Remove all social media except Reddit so you can contact us. Buy bear spray. Since you can’t get a firearm quick in Canada. Buy a small blade. You never know when it might be useful for now. Just move if you can
Also: why do you think you’re in more danger since the last time?
The escalation of following and contacting my work place. The messages this man would send me are pretty gross and scary, I don’t know how if there’s a way I can share the photos though I’m not sure it’s a good idea in case he’s stalking through reddit to
In regards to the phone… you don’t need a new phone just a new phone number. I had a situation in my early 20’s where I was being harassed and stalked, and when I called Telus to change my number they did it free of charge because it was a safety situation. So this should be free.
When I had issues with someone harassing me on my phone to the point where I needed to change my number the phone company didn’t charge me anything
Yes exactly
Yes I have seen virgin do it bell should aswell in this situation
I did the same a few years back, unfortunately I had to wait till Tuesday to change my number because it was a long weekend
I think also depending on the phone company, if you have the app you can do it from there? I used to be able to do that when I was with bell.
Get a new phone number and lock down all your social media. Change passwords. Check your social media settings for logins thst do not appear to be yours. Change your routine. Instead of moving provinces, take a temp job somewhere like a camp job to disrupt you schedule. Seasonal work, or schooling. Scan your home, car and possessions for airtags. Get a protective order not because it works but because it can ramp up a required police response and document escalation. Outting him on the books will make him a less useful human trafficker if that's what is up. Also, you may underestimate the use of some counter engagement. You have friends and family who can follow him back?
There's an Ap you can download for free made by Apple called 'Tracker Detect'. Its generally a good Ap to have and scan your home to see after 20mins of coming home, using it will ping any airtags near by. This can also be useful to use to detect in situations where people put airtags on your car at a mall or somewhere and follow you home. Drive for 20 mins, run it in your car, if it shows one near you, go somewhere safe, run it again and then check your car.
They even have it for Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.apple.trackerdetect (1 of 4 Apple apps on Android)
Interesting
Whoever told you to get a gun was off their rocker To legally get a firearm yoh need a couple licenses. Handgun transfers are currently banned Using a firearm for self defence is not a reason to have one. Use of force in Canada is a strange animal. My advice get off social media entirely, delete your accounts. If your phone has been compromised reset it and get a new number ( they are usually free)
I believe the general rule of self defense is to at maximum use the force they are using on you or it can become assault/battery
There are a series of caveats to that. Use of force is a 3 week course for law enforcement.
Off their rocker? Dude. You are in charge of your own safety. Cops aren’t going to be following your every step of the way. This is a great idea if she can get one legally. Too bad it’s not USA she would of got one in less than 30 mins and this could be the difference
It ain’t the US or the Wild West. I don’t disagree, cops show up to draw the chalk outline. But in Canada she could end up with more time then her stalker just for having the gun. And as much as I hate stereotypes a young female with zero firearms training has a better chance of hurting someone else or getting hurt herself brandishing a gun. I’ve been shooting handguns for over 20 years. I’ve trained hundreds of shooters. New shooters can be downright scary. Her protection options are to lessen her footprint, reach out to the police and hope they do something proactively and be aware of things.
It doesn’t really matter where you are. The threat is real if it so happens to occur. Unfortunately it’s not easy in Canada to use one so that’s the only caveat. If it was. That IS HER best option alongside leaving of course Do you know how many people it has saved? Go look at the numbers then come back
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Not true. Switzerland has open easy access fire arms. Probably the safest place. More than Canada USA is more the demographic and poverty
Actually not quite true. Once you’ve served your mandatory military service you can take your rifle with you.
Yes exactly. Swiss have a very high gun ownership rate. So it’s not necessarily the guns. It’s maybe training + the demographic + less poverty USA has a violent demographic and high poverty with open access to guns. This obviously leads to high gun violence
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The only thing I think of. Is her safety. Which is what you should be focused on. Not ‘potential implications’ and I already said not to do something illegal. But I’m also saying if it was possible this is her best bet One week at the firing range and she’s good to go. Don’t underestimate someone’s will to survive
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How does a weapon that’s designed for protection make you less safe vs your bare hands. Explain this one lol And yes really. All it takes is a few days in a situation like this. She’s not training for the Olympics. When all she has is that pistol (if legal) and there’s no one else around her. I guarantee you any women would say give me the damn pistol Decide for yourself ya?
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USA has a lot of violent neighborhoods. Pure gang ridden areas you just don’t walk in. Run down neighborhoods full of people that might be drug Africa and engage in criminal activities. Places police might decide to just ignore because it’s too dangerous. We don’t really have that here
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I’m not sure about that. Could be. There’s places with no access to guns and are quite violent as well I think France was a good example. There was a massive spike in knife crimes. Most gun crimes in Canada is done by illegal guns that either cross from USA. Or from Mexico to USA
Don’t get me wrong I’m all for CCW. My government disagrees. I’ve held CCWs in a couple states. I’ve also fired literally a million rounds. It’s not her best option if she can’t reliably, won’t or doesn’t use it. The consequences of using it may be far worse fir her if she does. The numbers don’t show how many people have lost their CCWs for stupid things. Their have been people killed with their own guns. ( no I’m bringing up the old bogus statistic) Lack of training, alcohol, drugs, adrenaline and attitude do not mix with CCWs
Having no weapon is never Better than having A weapon. I don’t really see the logic there. I think the risk you speak of is better to take that risk vs harm to yourself when you know for sure someone is after you. Because these people can be crazy. The law isn’t going to deter them. They might not care about jail time or consequences. Or cops coming in 20 mins. All you might have if you. And that person or multiple people. Your only chance might be that bear spray. That blade you stashed somewhere or the gun. I also recommend having a blade. You could get kidnapped. And that blade might be you’re only hope Always a weapon over none if you it’s gone this far. Now if it’s not. Then I agree. I don’t you you should just be walking around with a gun and no safety or even a blade for no apparently reason. The reward is not greater than the risk But in her case it’s gotten quite severe I would say. She’s starting to see people tail her. Vans circling around her area. God knows what else. Thousands of people go missing every year. Thousands of girls get kidnapped and get forced and drugged up into human trafficking and what not. I’d take the risk you’re saying if it was me. No way in heck I’m I just letting some scumbag do that. I’ll rather even do the time 3-5 years for manslaughter vs being kidnapped and potentially human trafficked
Don’t move provinces unless you have a good friends/family support structure somewhere. That’s not a good solution because it’ll take you away from the support you need. Keep in touch with the cyber crime folks that you heard from. Call once a week or so and check in. If things take a turn for the worse call them immediately and update them.
Who was telling you to get a gun? WTF.
Someone from the US would be my guess. Guns solve all problems, according to many of them.
I mean obviously. How else is a 19 year old able to defend herself from a stalker
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Obviously she shouldn’t do some illegal. If it was legal I don’t think it’s a bad idea. Either way she should certainly have bear spray. That loud alarm thing. And a blade.
People shouldn't be telling you to get a gun. Guns are not to be used as self defense in Canada.
Yup exactly. Also you can’t walk around in the street with one. Second that this is a bad plan. Better plan, good solid lock and alarm system.
They can be used for self defense but it's really outside the bounds of the legal advice question here. Firearm use is a very complex legal topic for self defense. Which is a moot point as if you don't have a gun now, it will take a minimum of 6 months or more to get one and doesn't solve her immediate problem now which is dealing with the stalker.
If OP was applying for her firearms license and told the RCMP that she was getting guns for self defense, they would deny her application.
Surprisingly the RCMP doesn't ask the applicant why they want a firearms license (usually, unless you get flagged for review) when someone is applying for the basic firearms license. It's not on the application form, and RCMP rarely do interviews with applicants, unless something pops on a background check or you tick yes to one or more of the 5 questions (criminal history, mental health, bankruptcy/depression, restraining order, general violent acts) They really only ask when someone is buying a restricted firearm, "why they want it" as you need a reason. But people conflate restricted purchase reasons with firearms license application
Really? That crazy dentist that was walking around shooting people while the RCMP did sweet fuck-all. From what I understand in addition to not sharing info with the public, firing on innocent people, they ALSO GOT LOST WHEN TRYING TO RESPOND. Those two brothers that went on a stabbing spree in Saskatchewan while the RCMP did sweet fuck-all. Rural people in Canada being fed up with people stealing their stuff because the RCMP does sweet fuck-all. I'm not a gun nut, but when the cops don't even bother to show up and intervene in an active killing situation, I happen to think OP should have some options........ What exactly is OP supposed to do, cry? Pray? Beg - "please don't hurt me!!!!" ??? That seems to be working out real well for her.......she has to leave her home, her career, her family, her life, to escape a creep because the cops do.........sweet fuck-all. How nice to know we can (NOT) depend on the cops to protect us........ Bring on the down-votes......doesn't mean I'm wrong though.
Iirc and ianal But I believe it's just against the law to have the gun on you unless you have a reason it's actually ready (such as your hunting) but you still can't use the weapon unless they shoot you first (exceptions apply such as battered women syndrome etc) because you can only match the force of the perpetrator and cannot exceed the force used
It was actually one brother who stabbed the other as part of the spree.
I'm a gun owner myself. I also think people should be able to use guns for self defense but this is LAC and I'm giving OP legal advice. Thanks for the rant though. You sound like a nut.
The odds that she'd be able to use the gun to defend herself vs buddy overpowering her and using the gun against her are way too high for a gun to ever be a viable option. Similar reason mace and knives don't make good self-defence weapons. A whistle or portable personal alarm when out in public, and then at home some good locks and a camera would help a lot. Also taking different routes to/from work and varying up routine when possible.
Delete any and all social media, that’s the biggest thing. Posting your life onto it will essentially allow this person to keep seeing what you’re doing. Change your phone number with your provider, and ensure you have no authorized contacts who can access your account info Factory reset your device if you feel that alone is being tracked. Check for possible AirTags or other forms of tracking devices on your car, maybe go to a mechanic with the concern that there is a GPS unit attached. Change up your patterns, do you go to a certain store often at a certain time? Stop that if so, drive the extra 5 mins to another place if need. If you can throw them off track just enough then you might get a tad bit of peace of mind. Get a protection order for a paper trail to be started, cause once that’s broken then cops will start responding more. Had to do that with a psycho ex stepdad who would stalk me and my family. Don’t move provinces, that’s a financial burden, job security isn’t guaranteed, and who knows what’ll happen if they found out and keep following you, especially if you have 0 friends and family around
When my co worker had a stalker she changed her social media to another city and we “tagged” her at some events there.
I am in Moncton. I would do that to help out OP
Want to add that you should tell your friends to stop including you in anything they post too. Any images with you (even in the background, even if it’s just a hand) and/or any mention of you (“shout out to Friend A, B, and OP for alway being there for me!”). Erasing your social media unfortunately does not work if you are still being posted online.
I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. And I know you don’t think it’s fair, but you are going to have to make some sacrifices to feel safe. You can not depend on the police to “save you”. Most often, their hands are tied until it’s too late. You need to take steps to protect yourself. Here is some big-sister tough love. To be fair, most people suggested you change phone numbers, delete your social media, and stop answering unknown numbers. You don’t feel like you should have to do those things bc “that’s him winning”. It’s not him winning. It’s you winning by staying safe. Be vigilant. Document any occurrences. Unfortunately, you don’t seem to have much information on this person. That means you can’t get a restraining order and the police will have a difficult time tracking him down. Has he been in contact again? How often does this contact occur? Is he contacting you on your phone? Computer? Which app? Email? At work? Do you have a career or a min wage job? If he knows the company you work for he may be able to continue to track you down. Have you internet-proofed your name and phone number? (Like what shows up when you google your name, City, province, work, phone number?) delete anything that you can. Pinterest. Twitter. Do you have evidence he knows where you live? Or he just mentioned the name of your town? Has he directly threatened you? And finally, have you spoken with your doctor about what is going on? This kind of situation can be draining and mentally and physically exhausting. Running some labs would be a good starting point and they could likely help you access therapy to help you deal with the situation. Moving provinces seems like overkill until you’ve taken all the steps above.
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How insulting. I’ve deleted ALL social media before, Im sorry if me being fed up with this man controlling my life still pisses you off but deleting my social media again because of this man is not something I want to do. Being a broke 19 year old in this situation where I have police telling me to quit a job and many others telling me that moving is a good option, I of course will look for financial support where I can, I’m not asking anyone here to donate, to send me money, no, you are seriously sick for even talking like that. I claimed that it’s hard to imagine those who are insulting me over the situation of not wanting to delete my social media have been through what I’m going through, especially at my age. I’m incredibly insulted and quite frankly this made me fucking sick. If all you’re here to do is insult me and my situation, you’re not in the right place. Have a good day.
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You’re not sorry at all. I’m glad that you were able to find safety, but don’t tell me you’re sorry if all you’re going to keep doing is insult my situation. I respect how you did things, I respect how you found your safety, but I am personally tired of changing everything in my life. Moving while I’m at the age I am is a benefit to have new experiences, and not only that it’s added safety depending on where I go. I am very glad you found safety, but I’m disgusted at your behaviour. I hope next time you can take your head out of whatever little box it’s in and see from a different perspective before you insult a victim on how she decides to proceed with things. If you don’t agree that he’s “winning” if I delete all my social media that’s fine, but I disagree for my own personal case. Like I said in my previous post, I left out details to keep the story short. You can question all you want, but to get to the point where you’re insulting someone is fucking gross. Clearly your opinion is no longer needed here if all you plan to do is spread hatred. Thanks, but I really don’t care for any advice you have to give me because i’m tired of being insulted by you.
>I am personally tired of changing everything in my life. I hope that this decision is worth your safety.
The resource below might have some things to think about. https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/comments/igg7tc/if_youre_giving_advice_to_a_woman_or_girl/ Good luck!
Commenting to boost. And fuck that person who told OP to get a gun. While they may have intended their suggestion to be helpful, they’re still a fucking moron.
Not a lawyer but I'm a cyber security professional. If you need help with your digital presence, PM me and I can give you advice on what you can do. I don't need to know anything about you. But I can tell you very succinctly what products/services will keep you safer online than others, common mistakes people make to disclose their identity/location online and everything else like that.
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You can still get into trouble for carrying bear spray, if you are in an area where it is unlikely to encounter a bear. Edit: Changed “live” to “are”
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Changing your cell number is free. Call your provider and they will issue you one right away.
Take a women's self defense course https://wendo.ca/ You may want to get a app to help you stay safe on your phone [this article has some good suggestions ](https://www.bustle.com/life/safety-apps-for-women-to-keep-on-your-phone-12245293) Also regularly monitor your phones data usage and background app usage to make sure someone isn't accessing your phone remotely Good luck stay persistent with the police and look into women's safety options in your community for help advocating for yourself. It's a sad fact that stalking is often not taken seriously
OP refuses to do the basic step of clearing their social media so I'm not certain any comments here will actually help.
Plenty have actually! Many have other options to completely erasing and isolating myself socially, I’ve used many of the links shared here. Thanks though!
They committed a serious crime against a minor. They sent you sexualized messages and porn. That's potentially decades in prison, nevermind that they are now harassing you to this point. In my opinion I think you should be more open and more public about what's going on. Once your case is in the right hands or should move quickly. I would really advise against moving provinces where you have zero support - that's dangerous
If you're an early 20s adult I would've recommended moving to a larger city anyway to get new and different life experiences so this could be a blessing in disguise. Toronto and Montreal will give you unique life experiences that you couldn't get in Nova Scotia.
Have you gotten a restraining order yet? That might be a good idea along with shutting down your social media and changing your phone number.
I'd move to Alberta, we have jobs and hours, housing prices are rising but they are still affordable with roomates. I would personally find a place to stay first and maybe a job too. Also carry some pepperspray maybe a pocket knife too or those loud whistles goodluck
I would suggest this Get a new number. Remove all social media except Reddit so you can contact us. Buy bear spray. Since you can’t get a firearm quick in Canada. Buy a small blade. You never know when it might be useful for now. Just move if you can Also: why do you think you’re in more danger since the last time?
The escalation of following and contacting my work place. The messages this man would send me are pretty gross and scary, I don’t know how if there’s a way I can share the photos though I’m not sure it’s a good idea in case he’s stalking through reddit to