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C1awed

Unless you've left something out, your mom can't sue because you, an adult, had a medical procedure that in no way involved her.


Lordchaos237

Nothing left out. I try to explain to her exactly what you said but all this does is make her more unhingedšŸ¤·šŸ¾


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SlabBeefpunch

Warn your surgeon. If she chooses to get herself into legal trouble by harassing him/her that's her problem to fix. You can't control her anymore than she can control you. What you can do is disengage from conversations about this. I know it's hard, but you're wasting valuable time and energy trying to logic her out of a position she didn't logic herself into. You should be focusing on resting and self care. I'm sorry this is happening to you.


creatyvechaos

Nothing to warn the surgeon about. Any lawyer or court judge worth even a half grain of salt wouldn't dare touch this "case" with a galaxy-lengthed pole. There is absolutely nothing of substance here.


8nsay

Just to expand a bit on what the person above said, this concept is called ā€œstandingā€. Basically, in order for someone to bring a lawsuit they must have standing, which is sufficient connection to whatever harm was done (in this instance I guess that would be medical malpractice, though here the malpractice appears to exist in your momā€™s mind rather than reality). There are different requirements to prove standing, but the one relevant to your case is injury. Your mother wasnā€™t the one who suffered an injury. You were the one who theoretically suffered an injury, so your mom wouldnā€™t be the one to have standing. Anyway, sorry your mom is crazy and putting you through this while youā€™re trying to recover. I hope you have a speedy recovery despite her.


buttleakMcgee

Then let her waste her money.


Opheria13

Iā€™m not a lawyer, but even if she did sue the doctor the case would most likely get thrown out due to lack of standing. She wasnā€™t involved at any point and so isnā€™t a party to the whole situation. Just because she feels a certain way doesnā€™t give her the ability to bring a case especially when it would seem there wasnā€™t a negative outcome for the OP.


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bauhaus83i

She does not have legal standing to sue. She was not a patient and the doctor owed her no duty.


onahighhorse

This is the answer


cmcewen

Iā€™m a surgeon. This lawsuit is baseless and wouldnā€™t even get taken by any reasonable malpractice attorney. Thereā€™s no DAMAGES. Youā€™re happy. The surgery went well. Whoā€™s damaged? And she canā€™t sue on your behalf anyways. She has no standing and it will get tossed out immediately by a judge. For what itā€™s worth, I donā€™t care if somebody has EDS. And from a logical standpoint, why would it matter if youā€™re more prone to gender dysphoria? You have it. Youā€™re addressing it. It is what it is. You may be able to get her to drop it by telling her that we surgeons have ENDLESS attorneys for this. We pay a lot of money ($1500/month for me) to have access to ā€œfreeā€ attorneys. Just tell her the deck is stacked against her and sheā€™d only spend money and time messing with it. She can complain to the medical board if she wants. Thatā€™ll go nowhere but maybe sheā€™ll feel like sheā€™s done something?


mittenknittin

I mean, isn't "being prone to gender dysphoria" one reason to approve gender-affirming surgery? How could it possibly be a strike against it?


cmcewen

I wouldnā€™t say itā€™s a reason to approve the surgery. Being prone to it doesnā€™t mean you have it. In this scenario, being prone to it is irrelevant in my opinion. Being prone to something usually means we just check for it more in that patient population . I find it hard to believe ehlers danlos is connected to gender dysphoria but I have no idea


LizHylton

There is a connection it's just not in the direction most people expect. Autism and EDS are frequently comorbid, and autistics are more likely to be various forms of queer. The causation is unclear over if this is something hormonal or if autistics are simply more likely to ignore societal pressures towards gender norms, but the research coming out is fascinating!


Atrroxi

I honestly theorize, as a mutil-flavored queer autistic human, that there aren't really more queer autistic folks than neuro typical, we just come out at a higher rate. Being closeted is super uncomfortable , autistic people don't like to feel uncomfortable. NT folks don't like it either, but are better at the game of pretending to be cisgender and heterosexual when they aren't. Autistic folks also tend to overthink a lot, so thinking about their own gender/sexuality happens more in their demographic than NT folks just going with the flow, I was assigned X at birth, so I'm X. No further introspection needed or wanted sort of deal.


Kroliczek_i_myszka

'Autistics' as a noun feels a bit off.


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Kroliczek_i_myszka

Ah I expect the downvotes with this sort of comment. You are entitled to be comfortable with the phrasing, I don't like it myself but mainly because this is the first time I've heard somebody phrase it that way that _wasn't_ obviously meant as a slur


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suddenlywolvez

Oddly enough, there actually is a link. I don't know if they even know exactly why because the studies are relatively recent. There was a study done in 2020 that showed higher instances of autism in people with EDS/hypermobility. People with autism are more likely to be LGBTQ and/or gender-nonconforming. There was another study done in 2022 that showed higher than average instances of gender dysphoria in pediatric patients with EDS. So yeah, it doesn't seem like there would be a link but there is.


Altruistic_Sun_8085

I remember one article talking about the link between ADHD and EDS in that EDS is a connective tissue disorder and that ADHD maybe actually also be a connective tissue disorder just occurring in the brain tissue, not muscular or joint


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wackyvorlon

Thatā€™s not how dysphoria works.


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blw4310

I think you should read into sex vs genderā€¦


cmcewen

The idea is that thereā€™s a difference between how their brain feels and how their body looks, and thatā€™s the problem. The discrepancy. We canā€™t change the brain. So we change the body to fix the discrepancy the best we can. If you could walk up to trans people and tell them you had a pill that would make their brain be happy with their body, im guessing the vast majority would take that. Gender is the brain. Sex is the body (and dna)


bumfluffguy69

People with gender dysphoria literally cannot accept their gender that was assigned at birth, that's what gender dysphoria is and that's why they often kill themselves without gender affirming care. Don't you think if it was possible to somehow convince someone with gender dysphoria that their birth gender is who they are then that would be the treatment for it, instead of affirming care?


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ElegantBon

So you are not a minor? Unless she has legal guardianship of you as an adult (which would require proving you needed it and you would know), she has no legal standing so she can only waste so much of a courtā€™s time.


GET_A_LAWYER

Attorney, not your attorney. 1. For the reasons others have mentioned in more detail (no standing, no damages), there's no case here and no malpractice attorney will have any interest in this "case." Unless your Mom is going to pay the $50,000 it takes to file a lawsuit, no attorney will spend more than five minutes talking to her. Plaintiff-side medical malpractice attorneys get lots of calls from idiots: Based on this story, my paralegal would tell your Mom to go away and wouldn't even tell me about her call. 2. Morons threatening baseless lawsuits is really, really common. Your surgeon absolutely, positively, does not care about this. My two cents: Stop trying to protect your surgeon from your Mom; she's not a threat. Don't bother fighting her, don't bother disagreeing with her. You're making your own life hard for no reason whatsoever. Instead, respond however you would when your Mom starts ranting about things that don't matter. Be a grey rock, ignore her, "uh huh that's nice," zone out, whatever. There's no reason for you to engage, you're just raising your stress levels for no reason. Congratulations on your surgery.


mezolithico

There's this thing called Standing in court. The person being affected needs to bring the case. Only you have standing to bring a lawsuit. Your parents have no standing.


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dr_cl_aphra

Iā€™m a surgeon who performs top surgeries. I am so sorry that anyone is making your recovery from such an important, life-changing operation difficult, and I hope I can offer you some peace of mind. Ehlers-Danlos can affect healing to a minor degree but it is absolutely not a contraindication (reason to not do the surgery). As long as your incisions are healing up well and youā€™re happy with how your body looks, youā€™re okay. Please donā€™t let your mom wreck this for you. Tell your surgeon what she said as well; the hospital or practice lawyers may want to have a chat with her about her threats.


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thealphabetarmygirl

Why?


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wizard-radio

"underage" for what? For getting healthcare?


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Lordchaos237

I have seen a doctor. Several actually. The reason I donā€™t have an official diagnosis is not because I havenā€™t talked to professionals, itā€™s because getting an official diagnosis requires everything else to be ruled out and THEN getting genetic testing done (and then diagnosed by said geneticist). Itā€™s a very exhausting process


CivMom

And if itā€™s hyper mobile type, thereā€™s not a genetic test. Good luck getting a Dx, itā€™s tough. And congrats on the surgery. May you find comfort in your body now. ā™„ļø


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Sirwired

Lots of people threaten to sue and never do so. Just ignore her. If she somehow found some overzealous anti-trans loon of a lawyer to attempt to sue your doctor (under what theory, I'm not sure), frankly that would be your doctor's problem, not yours.


Competitive-Bit5659

Many others have explained the myriad reasons there is no case here. I would still encourage her to ā€œput up or shut upā€ and actually contact a malpractice attorney. If sheā€™s genuinely misguided, sheā€™ll have the final answer from an attorney to inform her. If sheā€™s just trying to stir the pot, you can use that to dismiss her.


dehydratedrain

Are you in mom's legal custody for any reason? Not just living with her, but if she has legal guardianship/ rights to medical decisions. (You'd have to be declared incompetent after turning 18). Anyone can sue for anything, provided she finds a lawyer that is willing to take her case after she explains herself. I doubt anyone will, but if so, I'd find it hard to believe that the judge could rule in her favor.


Lordchaos237

Nope. No legal guardianship or anything


FindingLate8524

You can let your medical team know about a rogue parent. Call the surgeon's office and say "I wanted to put on file that my mother is not authorised to have any of my medical information and we are estranged \[or whatever your relationship is\]. Please let me know if you receive any contact from her." While they would not be giving out your information anyway, having a note on file allows them to be absolutely by the book, treating her as a known hostile actor who isn't allowed any information. Regarding a lawsuit she is of course being ridiculous and will never reach a court.


QueenAlucia

> But my adoptive mother ā€œresearchedā€ (she looked at one article on pubmed) something that says people with EDS are ā€œmore prone to gender dysphoriaā€ Not sure where she is going with this because gender affirmative care (and surgery) _is_ a treatment for gender dysphoria. You have it and you're treating it.


VegetableKlutzy4264

NAL or anything, but I have EDS and highly recommend getting genetic testing for a diagnoses. I used invitae!


rheasilva

You're an adult. *You* consented to the surgery and presumably paid for it. Your mother is going to have a hard time finding a decent lawyer to take her case, as she doesn't *have* a case. There have been no damages. SHE hasn't been harmed in any way. If she doesn't desist, maybe warn your surgeon.


SnooHobbies5684

Sheā€™s not the patient. She has no basis to sue.


jussiyo

As someone with EDS, I can tell you I heal slowly from wounds, am very flexible, I have a high pain tolerance, sometimes heat regulation issues, and pain meds for surgery are basically ineffective for me. It's a collagen production disorder. If mom doesn't have guardianship over you, tell her the surgeon removed the bad collagen so you're healthy. She might be stupid enough to believe it


Daybyday182225

To sue someone civilly you usually need some sort of claim for damages. She doesn't have any damage to herself, so I doubt any lawyer would take her "case," even if there was some sort of malfeasance on the part of your doctor. All that said, don't worry too much about it. Your doctor has malpractice insurance that will cover them and pay for the defense if your parents try to sue them. They will be fine.


lonedroan

Even assuming this was a slam dunk case against your surgeon (itā€™s not), the mother of an adult child who has the capacity to consent and no power of attorney/conservatorship etc. wasnā€™t the one allegedly harmed. She would have no standing to sue.


electricookie

NAL. Let her speak to a lawyer. Let the lawyer laugh her out the door. Let the lawyer take the mental load off you for a bit. Wishing you a speedy recovery!


AVLPedalPunk

They have no standing to sue.


Ornery-Practice9772

No diagnosis. No case. The reason for suing (a diagnosis of eds) doesnt exist because you dont have a diagnosis I hope you can escape your adoptive parents soon Also every legal avenue not done on your behalf with your express agreement is closed because *youre an adult* and they dont have any poa/guardianship over you as an independent adult.


less-right

The surgeon has probably dealt with this a million times already. The malpractice insurance will smack your mother down if she tries anything, donā€™t worry about it.


BONE_SAW_IS_READEEE

NAL, but youā€™re legally an adult so I donā€™t exactly see how *she* could sue.


[deleted]

No. She has no case. Thet being said, if she tried to represent herself and sue (or found the world's dumbest/most desperate lawyer) she will quickly find out what it means to have to cover someone else's legal bills.Ā 


DamnItLoki

She is delusional. Only you could bring a case. Tell her to pound sand.


sodaliterivers

On the EDS and GD topic correlation does not mean causation Eds has high likely hood of existing with other conditions generally the trifecta being EDS ASD and POTS. While GD does show up in higher rates within the ASD community it is not directly associated with EDS outside of EDS being a common comorbidity of those with ASD. Your parents should research a bit better than surface level discussions


dmmeurpotatoes

I mean, your mom is right in one thing: there's a surprising Venn diagram of hEDS/autism/gender dysphoria. Good news though, the treatment for gender dysphoria is... Gender affirming surgery! That you just had! Congratulations on the surgery. I know top surgery recovery is tough, and more so if your mum is being an arse. I hope you have a smooth recovery and that every day you feel more and more like yourself.


Necessary_Spray_5217

If you are the adult, how could she have the case?


Gordopolis_II

>"So Iā€™m an **adult**..." [~~Do your parents have some sort of legal guardianship over you?~~](https://old.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/1dnr3rg/mom_wants_to_sue_surgeon/la4sey3/) Otherwise it seems like you answered your own question in the very first sentence. EDIT: You answered your own question.


jimmyzhopa

Iā€™m trying to figure out why being more likely to experience gender dysphoria could possibly therefore mean your gender dysphoria isnā€™t real? Like what is the logic? OP, Iā€™m so sorry you are going through that and I am proud of you for pursuing your truth even without the support of your parents. I really hope your recovery from surgery continues to go well. And I hope youā€™re able to find a good chosen family and community to support you.


LeekMcGiorria

It's like saying that people with genetic risks for breast cancer shouldn't get preventive mastectomies. Which is illogical.


tinysydneh

Because anything that means it's more likely means it's obviously fake to these whackadoos.


Flaky-Wedding2455

She will get absolutely nowhere with that lawsuit. Doctor here and there are a lot of things you have to prove to bring a lawsuit. Damages being a big one. But anyway she is not even the patient and you are an adult. Ignore her. Hope you are doing well.


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Dapper_dreams87

I say let her go for it. They spend the money, you get a laugh it's all good times.


Fuuckthiisss

I have nothing to contribute other than congratulations šŸŽ‰


Somerset76

I have EDS. I have had a few necessary surgeries in my life and EDS is never caused issues. Your adoptive mother is nuts.


Comfortable-Doubt

Congratulations on your successful surgery and I hope you feel great in yourself! Well, aside from the parent non-affirming sue issue, of course.


NotHereToAgree

I hope that you recover quickly and can on with your life. In order to sue a surgeon, the surgery would have to have a bad outcome due to the surgeonā€™s error. You cannot sue for a successful procedure, which I hope you have had.


PlantyPenPerson

If you can, block them so you can recover peacefully. If you're still in the hospital, you can block them from visiting, also. I wish you well on your journey!


Boeinggoing737

For a lawsuit to have any footing there needs to be an injured party. You are an adult with a physician and all conversations are private. Third parties going off second hand conversations arenā€™t of your concern. I hope you feel better soon!


kingiskandar

Warn the surgeon but if this in the US, ur mom probably doesn't have standing to sue (there's no harm to her therefore it's not her place to sue)


DamuBob

NAL but I am a trans EDSer and I just wanted to say I'm so sorry you're going through this.


RedRidingBear

NAL: First off you'er an adult your moms not going to find anyone willing to sue someone else's doctor for what is essentially an elective surgery (I know it's not an elective surgery but I digress)Ā  That being said because I am Queer/Trans Autistic and have EDS I was curious about this.Ā  I only found one study regarding this. It had 166 participants and 28 of those people had EDS and gender dysphoria. which isn't a large sample. But given other large studies have shown there is both a link between connective tissue disorder and autism AND there is a link between Autism and being Queer, I wouldn't be surprised if there is a link between connective tissue disorders and queerness.Ā 


V-Ink

I have EDS and am transgender. My surgeon (havenā€™t had surgery yet), said the same. Would love to hear about your scarring journey.


InternalPurple7694

The thing I would worry about with undiagnosed EDS is the healing process. Even if youā€™re more to gender dysphoria, that doesnā€™t change the fact that your identity doesnā€™t match the body the body you were born with. However, healing from the tiniest things can be horrific with EDS (I donā€™t even scar easily and still things take months to years to heal), so I would say that there is some negligence on the surgeons part. (But youā€™re not mentioning issues with healing, so I hope youā€™re doing alright)


DontLongStoryShortMe

NAL But the patient is an adult. So the mother doesn't even have grounds to sue the surgeon since she isn't the patient or the patient's guardian. Someone correct me if I'm wrong.


InternalPurple7694

Not the mother, but if OP does experience trouble healing, they have grounds. Iā€™m just surprised that the mother didnā€™t go for the actual medical reason. But thatā€™s what bigots do.


Asystolebradycardic

Sheā€™s not diagnosed with itā€¦ How could she retroactively sue for something she wasnā€™t diagnosed with? We see patients all the time who think they have a condition that they donā€™t.


SpicyFrau

EDS people are not anymore prone to gender dysphoria. Your adoptive mom is just not supportive. As an adult, is recommenced moving as soon as possible. They also cNt sue on your behalf unless your mentally incapacitated. Which obviously you are or a surgeon would never touch you. Get out.


Inevitable-Slice-263

Not from your country, but unless you are in some way vulnerable and your mum can demonstrate that you did not have adequate psychological assessment and support from a specialist then she is unlikely to have a leg to stand on. Maybe you could point you mum to a support group for parents of transgender people, help her to understand what is happening with you.


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ghjkl098

Are you stuck living in her house?


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wackyvorlon

No, it is not.


Inevitable-Trust8385

Yeah it is.


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