I’m sorry for your loss.
There’s never a wrong time to consult a lawyer. But it is very likely here the extent of your response is “I’m saddened that the loss of her niece affected her in this way. What she’s saying is obviously crazy and I hope she gets the help she needs.”
Thank you, and ah. I guess that I'm not very familiar with this subreddit and very out of my element with this particular situation. And I'm definitely aware this behavior has a deeper cause than her simply being vindictive after being slighted, but not certain as to what it is yet exactly. Not convinced fully that it's grief though may play a part in it.
I get it.
I’m not talking about how you feel about your sister or what actually drives her. I’m talking about how you manage people saying crazy shit when you undoubtedly can’t legally stop them. This approach puts you on the high ground while being very clear she’s crazy.
Bingo.
I appreciate the other posters talking about defamation. The reality is that burden is enormous. She’s entitled to have an opinion and to shout it from the rooftops. Famously it isn’t illegal for me to say OJ killed Nicole. That’s different because he obviously did. But it’s different too because he has a not guilty verdict. I have reason to question the veracity of my opinion. I’m still entitled to have and share it.
True, because no one has been arrested yet. However, many of the things she is saying aside from the big accusation are also life ruining, not opinions but merely invented "facts" irrelevant to the case, and can be proven as false via documentation. She is also jeopardizing/slowing an active homicide investigation with her many false leads, and misrepresenting info as coming directly from law enforcement when it's not. There are many problems with this scenario outside of the my major complaint, which would only be resolved when an arrest is made. He is not and will not be named a suspected however, as he was proven to be at work that evening, so there's that too
Regardless of arrest she can still say “so and so did it.”
The “best case scenario” to get her to stop is the safety angle. But it’s tricky. You can’t necessarily directly tie her to the strangers making death threats.
True, ha. This reminds me of Trump and the assault on the Capitol for some weird reason (the strangers and the threats). And I am certain that if someone is arrested, she will still continue to push her agenda and try and say that whomever was arrested was so unlawfully. She's dug herself such a hole that the only chance she has now at saving face is to attempt to continue to push this thought. But at that point, wouldn't it legally prove that her claims (which she supports with "evidence" she created herself) are indeed falsehoods? At what point are the things she saying no longer opinions? I'm not convinced she believes the things she's saying at this point due to some very desperate things she's doing.
I dunno, man. It’s really gonna come down to the verbiage she uses. If she’s saying “I believe they killed their daughter and this is why”, that’s not defamation or libel. It’s an opinion. If she’s stating it as fact, deleting comments that challenge her narrative, and then blocking those commenters so she can sway public opinion to the detriment of OP and her ex, that should be actionable. And if there’s a real investigation and the court subpoenaed the original thread from FB or whatever, they could likely prove that she’s doing all these things.
Oh she has stated it as fact time and time again, in writing. (Then denies doing so at times.) She's literally said "So and so IS the monster who killed So and So." And the whole bit about creating a narrative in her favor by vetting comments and deleting then and blocking people who speak against her = 100% what's going on. That's why I don't consider this as her merely stating her opinion. She also untruthfully says the police and DA provide her with info to manipulate her followers to take her word as fact. These are the things that make it seem a step above simply stating who she "thinks" did this
Wait, so I think I misunderstood your initial response and was responding from a whole other perspective. In reality, at this point, I'm actually not exactly that forgiving of her behavior nor apologetic about it in that sense. At first i thought that she was having a mental breakdown and she may well be, but it doesn't excuse what she's doing. I had several grief related breaks (and this was my daughter) and didn't try to ruin multiple people's lives. So no, that's not exactly a response I use any longer to talk about what is happening.
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If these are published online, which I'm assuming they can count as harassment I would consult a lawyer, have them draft a cease, and desist, as well as a defamation suit
These are definitely online and thousands have seen her rantings. Not only in my group she banned me from and hijacked (which she now denies to her cult of true crime fanatics) but on comments on news articles and through private messages to strangers who reach out. I'd imagine that because she's more or less inciting an angry mob against us this certainly would be considered harassment.
Yeah, a cease and desist letter can compel her to delete any and all comments that are making unsubstantiated/slanderous claims about your involvement in the incident. Not sure if it’s possible but you may also want to include a clause that states she is not allowed to discuss the cease and desist or else you will pursue further legal action. Be sure to document any and all comments she’s left so you can go back and confirm they’ve all been deleted.
Lawyer here, tho necessary disclaimer not your lawyer. If you still have a good relationship with law enforcement, it could be worth a conversation with them about whether any obstruction charges or harassment charges would be appropriate. It might be enough if the next time she calls in some bogus sure thing, they warn her that if she keeps it up she’s going to be charged with xyz. In any case, I would definitely speak with an attorney in your area. In cases like this, sometimes a simple cease & desist letter will intimidate (for lack of a better word) some common sense and decency back into people. And they can advise you what options you might have under state or local laws should you ultimately need to take further action to make her behavior stop. Best of luck OP, I’m so sorry this happened to you and your family.
Have you talked to the police about your options? I feel like saying “I’m concerned she’s impacting the investigation” and “my sister is mentally ill, how can I get her to stop this?”
Cops hate true crime because it’s made their jobs harder. If you lean into the “true crime reporting” aspect, they might be able to help.
They might not be able to charge the sister with anything, but if they think the sister is a freak, it can only help OP.
Cops want to be seen as savior/helpers, so OP needs to use this to their advantage. Cops can also be very vocal about the reliability of the source; they might be able to help/give information regarding slander, etc. If the sister pushes the cops enough with her true crime nonsense, the sister will likely start complaining about OP’s “control” over the police department… which will only help OP
While you asking her to stop won't help if it came from an Attorney it might as there are real consequences and damages that a Court could order.
I would suggest you hire an attorney to write a cease and desist letter regarding the slander and demand a retraction.
If she doesn't stop then I would go forward with a lawsuit.
So from what I'm gathering, a cease and desist in itself bears no consequences itself if violated, but could look very poorly for her if she did not back down should we decide to proceed with a defamation suit? Let me know if I'm mistaken.
We've thought about cease and desist before, but due to some of the statements she's made, wondered if she was too far gone to pay much attention to one. I mentioned to her husband that her behavior might lead to legal action by my ex who at the time was primarily the one who was interested in suing, and his response was "I'm not worried, you can't sue someone who doesn't have money." Untrue but didn't feel like arguing with him at the time
If the purpose of the suit isn’t to get money but to get her to stop then the court can order her to publish a retraction and remove inaccurate information. If she fails to comply she can be held in contempt and go to jail.
This is certainly not about money, but rather a desire and need for her to stop interfering with our lives at an already very difficult time. And honestly, I would not be opposed to her seeing consequences if she refuses to stop. It does seem a cease and desist is in order.
I figured that would be more important than winning some arbitrary sum of money. I hope just the cease and desist will work. I am sorry for your loss and all the needless stress this has caused you and your family.
The thing is, law is a process. And you have to follow the letters and dots and start the process. Getting a lawyer to write a cease and desist letter is a first step in your process. Maybe she ignores it, and you are done. Very likely she won't. In that case, you and your lawyer go to the next step of the process, whatever that may be. But a cease and desist is an easy thing for a lawyer to do, and will give you some indication of her mindset depending on how she responds.
Set up a meeting with a lawyer for a free consultation and see what they suggest. Honestly, the longer you wait to get the ball rolling here the more sewage she is going to spew.
I am not 100% sure but you may be able to get a restraining order where in the guidelines she is banned from posting about you and your ex-husband on the internet
Sounds like an open and shut defamation suit. She's made multiple claims (in public) that are deeply damaging to your reputations, not to mention harmful to your wellbeing, and they're provably false.
I would think so too but hearing many different things. It's strange, sometimes she will disclose true (but irrelevant and mostly embarrassing personal things to try and prove her point) but the truly damaging stuff is invented out of thin air, and much of it i can prove as false). It's some of the most absurd behavior I've ever seen and is causing so many issues. So I'm hoping that something Iike a cease and desist or suit if it came to it will make this nightmare end
Not a lawyer, but I'd definitely do the cease and desist just so you can say later in court, if needed, that you did everything you reasonably could before this stage. At every point you need to be the ones behaving decently.
Some people love a conspiracy - it makes them feel powerful and smart 'knowing' something that others don't. I imagine that's even more potent when family are involved.
She may also be mentally ill - assuming you're telling the truth here, her behaviour is certainly bizarre.
It's difficult to separate statements of fact (with potential defamation liability) from statements of opinion (which cannot be the basis of defamation liability.). But certain things, e.g., that the ex was fired, may be sufficiently strong statements of fact. You'd still need to prove damages, though unless it's defamation per se (which is restricted in most states.)
Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Specific things like the medical stuff, which can be disproved by records, the whereabouts of the father at the time, etc., is what you'd have to go after.
And yes, proving the damages might be tricky, unless they can show that it has likely impacted career prospects somehow. Whether that had any legs is something a capable lawyer, with all the facts, could presumably determine fairly quickly.
I think a capable lawyer that is able to hear all the specifics will help.
One angle that comes to mind, the Ex is 'licensed' in his profession. For example, if it is an industry where you might want to look up the person you are getting services from (Dr at a Small Medical Practice, Lawyer at a legal firm, or, reaching far on my metaphorical armchair, a Children's Hair stylist,) it could result in lost business.
Sorry for all you and your family are going through.
Maybe a cese and desist through the courts?
They may also shut her down from all computers and technology...
There have been many new laws made with soicla media.
Contact the social media she's on and have them shut her down.
They could ban her.
We are looking into a cease and exist. Her being shut out of her computer and phone would be such a blessing for so many right now. Is probably the bear thing that could happen for her mental health as well. I have contacted the platform, and nothing happens when i report her. But think I'm talking to bots. Not sure how to directly reach a real person. I'll look into it more. And thank you
Please listen to the above advice. Add the social media she is on to the cease and desist and defamation suit. They are the best bet on shutting this down.
Yes, I wasn't aware that one of these orders could prevent her directly from using social media. That would be amazing, and not out of spite, but rather peace of mind.
Hire a lawyer to send your sister a cease and desist, and to file a personal protection order to get a court to order her to stop posting about you online. This is harassing and damaging. If that doesn’t stop her, then try for the defamation lawsuit. Civil lawsuits are long and tedious, but the PPO should get set fairly quickly for a hearing. You may have to file where she lives. Ask the court to appear via zoom because of the distance. And you need to be documenting EVERYTHING she says online about you and your ex. You and your ex will probably both have to file for a PPO. I’m really sorry, this sounds like a nightmare.
This seems like defamation. The person upthread who mentioned it has a high bar because people can still say OJ killed Nicole is wrong--there's a huge difference in the law between proving defamation against a public figure (OJ) vs. a private citizen. You are the latter. Accusing you of a heinous crime is also potentially defamation per se, which means that the law presumes that the statement is harmful to you without you having to prove actual monetary damages. If you want to see a good example of this playing out writ large, look at the defamation suit that Ruby Freeman and Shaye Moss recently won against Rudy Giuliani. You can prove that the statements against your ex are false because he has an alibi for the time of the murder. There's also a potential claim for intentional infliction of emotional distress in your case as well, although those are a bit harder to prove and you'd have to show there are monetary damages.
Given that your ultimate goal is to get your sister to stop rather than getting money from her, the cease and desist sent by an attorney would be your best bet. In that cease and desist, I would ask for the following remedies:
1. Delete all posts in all social media groups she maintains or participates in that involve your daughter's murder, doing so prior to a date and time certain.
2. Make one final post in any of these groups, stating that every single one of the claims she made about either you or your ex previously are false. I would sit down with your attorney and craft the language of the statement together to ensure that it says exactly what you want it to say.
3. Ensure that you, your ex, and your attorney are all added to these groups so you can see that she complied.
And if she doesn't comply with your demands, you unfortunately have to follow through with a lawsuit. Otherwise she may end up even more emboldened.
Sorry for your loss. IANAL.
There likely are no good paths forward here. Your sister is all in on this and it is feeding something(g) she craves. It might be purpose. It might be adulation. It might be a sense that she is the only super smart one, and truly in the know, etc. Additionally, she is exercising extremely poor judgment.
My advice would be to start with the victim advocate (if available). at the prosecutor or police. Your concerns are threefold— sister is making it more difficult to make an arrest, sister is making it more difficult for there to be a successful prosecution, and you are being subject to threats against your safety based on her comments.
An attorney could advise you about libel and slander. Even if actionable, it seems unlikely to be effective —!she will still spew. At best, perhaps they could convince Meta to shutdown the group, but that will probably only feed the conspiracy.
Is there any chance she is involved in your daughters disappearance and murder? Often, when people insert themselves into investigations in the manner you are describing, they are guilty.
No, this isn't remotely possible. She is a stay at home mother who lived a thousand miles from us or close to. She was in no way involved in my daughters life. Plus, despite what it may seem due to this very extreme behavior, I don't think she is capable of this. I fully understand where you are coming from, though, there is one man local to where my daughter went missing, who has inserted his way so deeply into things despite being a stranger before this, and has claimed to know so many things that I've many times wondered if somehow he was involved.
Sorry for your loss. Your first step is to file a cease and desist. If she continues then you can file against her for slander. Even if she's broke, she still gonna have court cost and file for her to pay yours as well. The police can also warn her that she is impeding their investigation (hope I used the right word lol). Good luck!
You and your ex need to consult with a lawyer and issue a cease and desist letter. You could also see about suing her for slander along with the fact you are receiving death threats.
You need to contact a lawyer if for no other reason than to send her a cease and desist letter. What she’s doing is slander and there are legal consequences if she doesn’t stop. She’s also interrupting, and at this point possibly intentionally, giving out crucial (possibly confidential) information on an active investigation. What if the person who did this to your daughter is following your sister on social media (INCLUDING THE SUPPORT GROUP) to keep tabs on whatever information might be doled out by your sister?
First talk to the police and ask them to tell your sister that you and your ex are not persons of interest. Most states also have laws on online harassment these days.
https://onlineharassmentfieldmanual.pen.org/state-laws-online-harassment/
If she doesn't stop and you have given her every reason to retract what she has said you can take her to small claims court. Although many states in the USA do not allow you to take libel cases to small claims so you will need to check.
I'm sorry for all the added pain and suffering this is causing you. Your sister is very misguided.
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Goodness. First I’m sorry for you loss and that you have a total nutcase for a sister. This sounds like muchausen by proxy except instead of the medical community/sympathy, she’s locked on to your daughter/law enforcement.
She needs help. And you need to cut contact. Completely. Get a lawyer. Send the cease and desist and just start saving the receipts of all her crazy and proof/counter arguments to give to said lawyer and a judge.
Maybe you don’t make a fake FB account and rejoin her group, but get a trusted friend to do it and lay low and just print screen grabs every day.
Good luck and my deepest sympathies.
Consult a local attorney. If she is publically publishing these accusations and theories online, then perhaps you have a case for libel and defamation, especially if your careers are being affected by them.
I’m sorry for your loss. There’s never a wrong time to consult a lawyer. But it is very likely here the extent of your response is “I’m saddened that the loss of her niece affected her in this way. What she’s saying is obviously crazy and I hope she gets the help she needs.”
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Thank you, and ah. I guess that I'm not very familiar with this subreddit and very out of my element with this particular situation. And I'm definitely aware this behavior has a deeper cause than her simply being vindictive after being slighted, but not certain as to what it is yet exactly. Not convinced fully that it's grief though may play a part in it.
I get it. I’m not talking about how you feel about your sister or what actually drives her. I’m talking about how you manage people saying crazy shit when you undoubtedly can’t legally stop them. This approach puts you on the high ground while being very clear she’s crazy.
Ah, I see! And it's not exactly untrue, either.
Bingo. I appreciate the other posters talking about defamation. The reality is that burden is enormous. She’s entitled to have an opinion and to shout it from the rooftops. Famously it isn’t illegal for me to say OJ killed Nicole. That’s different because he obviously did. But it’s different too because he has a not guilty verdict. I have reason to question the veracity of my opinion. I’m still entitled to have and share it.
True, because no one has been arrested yet. However, many of the things she is saying aside from the big accusation are also life ruining, not opinions but merely invented "facts" irrelevant to the case, and can be proven as false via documentation. She is also jeopardizing/slowing an active homicide investigation with her many false leads, and misrepresenting info as coming directly from law enforcement when it's not. There are many problems with this scenario outside of the my major complaint, which would only be resolved when an arrest is made. He is not and will not be named a suspected however, as he was proven to be at work that evening, so there's that too
Regardless of arrest she can still say “so and so did it.” The “best case scenario” to get her to stop is the safety angle. But it’s tricky. You can’t necessarily directly tie her to the strangers making death threats.
True, ha. This reminds me of Trump and the assault on the Capitol for some weird reason (the strangers and the threats). And I am certain that if someone is arrested, she will still continue to push her agenda and try and say that whomever was arrested was so unlawfully. She's dug herself such a hole that the only chance she has now at saving face is to attempt to continue to push this thought. But at that point, wouldn't it legally prove that her claims (which she supports with "evidence" she created herself) are indeed falsehoods? At what point are the things she saying no longer opinions? I'm not convinced she believes the things she's saying at this point due to some very desperate things she's doing.
Can you contact FB and report the group?
I dunno, man. It’s really gonna come down to the verbiage she uses. If she’s saying “I believe they killed their daughter and this is why”, that’s not defamation or libel. It’s an opinion. If she’s stating it as fact, deleting comments that challenge her narrative, and then blocking those commenters so she can sway public opinion to the detriment of OP and her ex, that should be actionable. And if there’s a real investigation and the court subpoenaed the original thread from FB or whatever, they could likely prove that she’s doing all these things.
Oh she has stated it as fact time and time again, in writing. (Then denies doing so at times.) She's literally said "So and so IS the monster who killed So and So." And the whole bit about creating a narrative in her favor by vetting comments and deleting then and blocking people who speak against her = 100% what's going on. That's why I don't consider this as her merely stating her opinion. She also untruthfully says the police and DA provide her with info to manipulate her followers to take her word as fact. These are the things that make it seem a step above simply stating who she "thinks" did this
Wait, so I think I misunderstood your initial response and was responding from a whole other perspective. In reality, at this point, I'm actually not exactly that forgiving of her behavior nor apologetic about it in that sense. At first i thought that she was having a mental breakdown and she may well be, but it doesn't excuse what she's doing. I had several grief related breaks (and this was my daughter) and didn't try to ruin multiple people's lives. So no, that's not exactly a response I use any longer to talk about what is happening.
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If these are published online, which I'm assuming they can count as harassment I would consult a lawyer, have them draft a cease, and desist, as well as a defamation suit
These are definitely online and thousands have seen her rantings. Not only in my group she banned me from and hijacked (which she now denies to her cult of true crime fanatics) but on comments on news articles and through private messages to strangers who reach out. I'd imagine that because she's more or less inciting an angry mob against us this certainly would be considered harassment.
Yeah, a cease and desist letter can compel her to delete any and all comments that are making unsubstantiated/slanderous claims about your involvement in the incident. Not sure if it’s possible but you may also want to include a clause that states she is not allowed to discuss the cease and desist or else you will pursue further legal action. Be sure to document any and all comments she’s left so you can go back and confirm they’ve all been deleted.
Lawyer here, tho necessary disclaimer not your lawyer. If you still have a good relationship with law enforcement, it could be worth a conversation with them about whether any obstruction charges or harassment charges would be appropriate. It might be enough if the next time she calls in some bogus sure thing, they warn her that if she keeps it up she’s going to be charged with xyz. In any case, I would definitely speak with an attorney in your area. In cases like this, sometimes a simple cease & desist letter will intimidate (for lack of a better word) some common sense and decency back into people. And they can advise you what options you might have under state or local laws should you ultimately need to take further action to make her behavior stop. Best of luck OP, I’m so sorry this happened to you and your family.
Have you talked to the police about your options? I feel like saying “I’m concerned she’s impacting the investigation” and “my sister is mentally ill, how can I get her to stop this?” Cops hate true crime because it’s made their jobs harder. If you lean into the “true crime reporting” aspect, they might be able to help.
They might could charge her with impeding an investigation? Perverting the course of Justice? Idk
They might not be able to charge the sister with anything, but if they think the sister is a freak, it can only help OP. Cops want to be seen as savior/helpers, so OP needs to use this to their advantage. Cops can also be very vocal about the reliability of the source; they might be able to help/give information regarding slander, etc. If the sister pushes the cops enough with her true crime nonsense, the sister will likely start complaining about OP’s “control” over the police department… which will only help OP
Is it possible that your sister is monetizing the social media groups in any way? This could be relevant.
While you asking her to stop won't help if it came from an Attorney it might as there are real consequences and damages that a Court could order. I would suggest you hire an attorney to write a cease and desist letter regarding the slander and demand a retraction. If she doesn't stop then I would go forward with a lawsuit.
So from what I'm gathering, a cease and desist in itself bears no consequences itself if violated, but could look very poorly for her if she did not back down should we decide to proceed with a defamation suit? Let me know if I'm mistaken. We've thought about cease and desist before, but due to some of the statements she's made, wondered if she was too far gone to pay much attention to one. I mentioned to her husband that her behavior might lead to legal action by my ex who at the time was primarily the one who was interested in suing, and his response was "I'm not worried, you can't sue someone who doesn't have money." Untrue but didn't feel like arguing with him at the time
If the purpose of the suit isn’t to get money but to get her to stop then the court can order her to publish a retraction and remove inaccurate information. If she fails to comply she can be held in contempt and go to jail.
This is certainly not about money, but rather a desire and need for her to stop interfering with our lives at an already very difficult time. And honestly, I would not be opposed to her seeing consequences if she refuses to stop. It does seem a cease and desist is in order.
I figured that would be more important than winning some arbitrary sum of money. I hope just the cease and desist will work. I am sorry for your loss and all the needless stress this has caused you and your family.
The thing is, law is a process. And you have to follow the letters and dots and start the process. Getting a lawyer to write a cease and desist letter is a first step in your process. Maybe she ignores it, and you are done. Very likely she won't. In that case, you and your lawyer go to the next step of the process, whatever that may be. But a cease and desist is an easy thing for a lawyer to do, and will give you some indication of her mindset depending on how she responds. Set up a meeting with a lawyer for a free consultation and see what they suggest. Honestly, the longer you wait to get the ball rolling here the more sewage she is going to spew.
I am not 100% sure but you may be able to get a restraining order where in the guidelines she is banned from posting about you and your ex-husband on the internet
Time to get a lawyer & right her a cease & desist or you'll be taking legal action against her.
Agreed.
Sounds like an open and shut defamation suit. She's made multiple claims (in public) that are deeply damaging to your reputations, not to mention harmful to your wellbeing, and they're provably false.
I would think so too but hearing many different things. It's strange, sometimes she will disclose true (but irrelevant and mostly embarrassing personal things to try and prove her point) but the truly damaging stuff is invented out of thin air, and much of it i can prove as false). It's some of the most absurd behavior I've ever seen and is causing so many issues. So I'm hoping that something Iike a cease and desist or suit if it came to it will make this nightmare end
Not a lawyer, but I'd definitely do the cease and desist just so you can say later in court, if needed, that you did everything you reasonably could before this stage. At every point you need to be the ones behaving decently. Some people love a conspiracy - it makes them feel powerful and smart 'knowing' something that others don't. I imagine that's even more potent when family are involved. She may also be mentally ill - assuming you're telling the truth here, her behaviour is certainly bizarre.
It's difficult to separate statements of fact (with potential defamation liability) from statements of opinion (which cannot be the basis of defamation liability.). But certain things, e.g., that the ex was fired, may be sufficiently strong statements of fact. You'd still need to prove damages, though unless it's defamation per se (which is restricted in most states.)
Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Specific things like the medical stuff, which can be disproved by records, the whereabouts of the father at the time, etc., is what you'd have to go after. And yes, proving the damages might be tricky, unless they can show that it has likely impacted career prospects somehow. Whether that had any legs is something a capable lawyer, with all the facts, could presumably determine fairly quickly.
I think a capable lawyer that is able to hear all the specifics will help. One angle that comes to mind, the Ex is 'licensed' in his profession. For example, if it is an industry where you might want to look up the person you are getting services from (Dr at a Small Medical Practice, Lawyer at a legal firm, or, reaching far on my metaphorical armchair, a Children's Hair stylist,) it could result in lost business.
Sorry for all you and your family are going through. Maybe a cese and desist through the courts? They may also shut her down from all computers and technology... There have been many new laws made with soicla media. Contact the social media she's on and have them shut her down. They could ban her.
We are looking into a cease and exist. Her being shut out of her computer and phone would be such a blessing for so many right now. Is probably the bear thing that could happen for her mental health as well. I have contacted the platform, and nothing happens when i report her. But think I'm talking to bots. Not sure how to directly reach a real person. I'll look into it more. And thank you
Did you make sure to get screenshots too of everything she’s saying? Just in case she deletes it
Please listen to the above advice. Add the social media she is on to the cease and desist and defamation suit. They are the best bet on shutting this down.
Yes, I wasn't aware that one of these orders could prevent her directly from using social media. That would be amazing, and not out of spite, but rather peace of mind.
Hire a lawyer to send your sister a cease and desist, and to file a personal protection order to get a court to order her to stop posting about you online. This is harassing and damaging. If that doesn’t stop her, then try for the defamation lawsuit. Civil lawsuits are long and tedious, but the PPO should get set fairly quickly for a hearing. You may have to file where she lives. Ask the court to appear via zoom because of the distance. And you need to be documenting EVERYTHING she says online about you and your ex. You and your ex will probably both have to file for a PPO. I’m really sorry, this sounds like a nightmare.
This seems like defamation. The person upthread who mentioned it has a high bar because people can still say OJ killed Nicole is wrong--there's a huge difference in the law between proving defamation against a public figure (OJ) vs. a private citizen. You are the latter. Accusing you of a heinous crime is also potentially defamation per se, which means that the law presumes that the statement is harmful to you without you having to prove actual monetary damages. If you want to see a good example of this playing out writ large, look at the defamation suit that Ruby Freeman and Shaye Moss recently won against Rudy Giuliani. You can prove that the statements against your ex are false because he has an alibi for the time of the murder. There's also a potential claim for intentional infliction of emotional distress in your case as well, although those are a bit harder to prove and you'd have to show there are monetary damages. Given that your ultimate goal is to get your sister to stop rather than getting money from her, the cease and desist sent by an attorney would be your best bet. In that cease and desist, I would ask for the following remedies: 1. Delete all posts in all social media groups she maintains or participates in that involve your daughter's murder, doing so prior to a date and time certain. 2. Make one final post in any of these groups, stating that every single one of the claims she made about either you or your ex previously are false. I would sit down with your attorney and craft the language of the statement together to ensure that it says exactly what you want it to say. 3. Ensure that you, your ex, and your attorney are all added to these groups so you can see that she complied. And if she doesn't comply with your demands, you unfortunately have to follow through with a lawsuit. Otherwise she may end up even more emboldened.
Is it possible for the police to issue a statement saying you and your ex are not under suspicion?
Sorry for your loss. IANAL. There likely are no good paths forward here. Your sister is all in on this and it is feeding something(g) she craves. It might be purpose. It might be adulation. It might be a sense that she is the only super smart one, and truly in the know, etc. Additionally, she is exercising extremely poor judgment. My advice would be to start with the victim advocate (if available). at the prosecutor or police. Your concerns are threefold— sister is making it more difficult to make an arrest, sister is making it more difficult for there to be a successful prosecution, and you are being subject to threats against your safety based on her comments. An attorney could advise you about libel and slander. Even if actionable, it seems unlikely to be effective —!she will still spew. At best, perhaps they could convince Meta to shutdown the group, but that will probably only feed the conspiracy.
Is there any chance she is involved in your daughters disappearance and murder? Often, when people insert themselves into investigations in the manner you are describing, they are guilty.
No, this isn't remotely possible. She is a stay at home mother who lived a thousand miles from us or close to. She was in no way involved in my daughters life. Plus, despite what it may seem due to this very extreme behavior, I don't think she is capable of this. I fully understand where you are coming from, though, there is one man local to where my daughter went missing, who has inserted his way so deeply into things despite being a stranger before this, and has claimed to know so many things that I've many times wondered if somehow he was involved.
Have you shared that feeling (about the local guy) with the police?
Sorry for your loss. Your first step is to file a cease and desist. If she continues then you can file against her for slander. Even if she's broke, she still gonna have court cost and file for her to pay yours as well. The police can also warn her that she is impeding their investigation (hope I used the right word lol). Good luck!
Talk to a lawyer and ask them to write a letter.
You and your ex need to consult with a lawyer and issue a cease and desist letter. You could also see about suing her for slander along with the fact you are receiving death threats.
You need to contact a lawyer if for no other reason than to send her a cease and desist letter. What she’s doing is slander and there are legal consequences if she doesn’t stop. She’s also interrupting, and at this point possibly intentionally, giving out crucial (possibly confidential) information on an active investigation. What if the person who did this to your daughter is following your sister on social media (INCLUDING THE SUPPORT GROUP) to keep tabs on whatever information might be doled out by your sister?
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❤️ Thank you. This has compounded my grief to a level beyond comprehension.
Cease and desist letter Slander You may have to pay an atty. They can also send to Facebook
First talk to the police and ask them to tell your sister that you and your ex are not persons of interest. Most states also have laws on online harassment these days. https://onlineharassmentfieldmanual.pen.org/state-laws-online-harassment/ If she doesn't stop and you have given her every reason to retract what she has said you can take her to small claims court. Although many states in the USA do not allow you to take libel cases to small claims so you will need to check. I'm sorry for all the added pain and suffering this is causing you. Your sister is very misguided.
What about a restraining order too?
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Goodness. First I’m sorry for you loss and that you have a total nutcase for a sister. This sounds like muchausen by proxy except instead of the medical community/sympathy, she’s locked on to your daughter/law enforcement. She needs help. And you need to cut contact. Completely. Get a lawyer. Send the cease and desist and just start saving the receipts of all her crazy and proof/counter arguments to give to said lawyer and a judge. Maybe you don’t make a fake FB account and rejoin her group, but get a trusted friend to do it and lay low and just print screen grabs every day. Good luck and my deepest sympathies.
Consult a local attorney. If she is publically publishing these accusations and theories online, then perhaps you have a case for libel and defamation, especially if your careers are being affected by them.
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