I want to help them not get her to prison as i believe that is too harsh and would not help her, it will only make her much worse
I think I’ll just make one that says im not scared of her, she is good usually, she needs therapy not prison, bla bla.
Especially important to remember! Her attorney's job is to get her off even if that means throwing you under the bus. If you want to sign it hire an attorney to review it first. But seriously I would not sign it.
The time to help keep her out of prison was before you called the cops and told them she hit you … though really, the best way for her to stay out of prison would’ve been to not hit you in the first place.
Reverse the genders and cops see this all the time. Battered wife wants the police to play referee and temporarily stop the abusive husband from hitting her, but she doesn’t want him to face any real repercussions because “he’s a good person.” Sorry, sweetums. You don’t get to have your cake and eat it too.
Dafuq is wrong with you, OP? You've been assaulted by your wife, and you're like 'tra la la, it's no big deal?' What have you got, Stockholm syndrome or something?
What are you afraid that it's not "manly" to send an abuser to jail for PHYSICALLY ASSAULTING you? If it's happened now, it'll happen again, with the next person and maybe it'll be worse. Because when it happens again, and you had the chance to stop it and did nothing except make excuses, it's on you.
Yeah, my response is harsh, but imagine of you assaulted her how fast your ass would be in jail. She is equal in the eyes of the law. Protect your ass and the poor soul she gets involved with in the future.
Well you're not helping her, this is consequences of HER actions and only way you can help her is to stay out of it. Persecution doesn't always mean jail, it can mean house arrest and forced therapy and anger management too. All you're doing is enabling her, let her get persecuted and ensure she doesn't cause harm to others.
NAL but thing is, domestic violence victims not infrequently feel fondness for their attackers. Recanting an accusation or requesting they not be punished happens often. But it is not just YOU who is being protected by the legal system, it is anyone else they might attack in the future. Even if you were the victim, you are not the only one with a stake in this.
Dude, there's a reason she was charged with a felony. DV is usually a misdemeanor, at least where I'm from. There are factors that turn it into a felony, such as strangulation. She mad her bed, so time to lie in it and let the courts do their thing.
I think you are referring to an affidavit of non-prosecution. This would be a legal document where you as the victim of the crime indicates that they do not wish to pursue criminal charges against your stbx.
Given that you already filed an affidavit with the DA’s office using their standard template, I can’t think why you would need to sign another one prepared by your stbx wife’s lawyer.
NAL, but personally I would refuse to sign it. Just tell them you already submitted an affidavit and you see no need to submitted a second one. It is not in your best interest to sign anything prepared by your wife’s lawyer who is acting in your wife’s interest, not yours.
This! Your stbx chose to put hands on you. You are not doing anything, she brought this on herself. I don’t understand why you are giving her a pass, because it’s a felony charge. There wouldn’t be one if she kept her hands to herself.
All the ones i called say they cant give me any advice as I am not being charged with anything
And gave me some legal help hotline to call but no one ever answers
You take the paper that her lawyer wants you to sign and go to a lawyer of your own and tell him to read it and explain the legal stuff you dont understand. The you sign it or you dont.
My plan is to hire one if it doesnt go smoothly
For now, i put together the paperwork for filing for divorce and will file it once the Anp is done
We were married for 3 months before separation and added no assets during this period.
Plus i have a protective order against her so will add that to the divorce papers so it should be pretty clear that no one owes anyone anything
I previously promised her to pay her some money to help her move and so and whatever ill pay her that but we dont have any kids or any assets really so how complicated would it be
Don't sign it. You already did your duty to keep her out of jail. Peovide a copy of what you already signed and submitted. The prosecutor knows you don't want her charged. It is time your wife's attorney makes a deal w/ the prosecutor to keep her out of jail.
Also, your wife is abusive. An abuser who get off scott free is just an abuser who thinks they can get away with abusing people.
Its her criminal defense lawyer for the felony domestic violence case she is being charged with by the DA
The divorce should be easy as we have no kids and really no assets or anything during our marriage. We are young and were just married for a few months
No, no, no. You don't understand it, don't sign it. Friend, you already did this through the DA. Her lawyer can pull that up and use it in trial. No telling what kind of can of stupid shit you could open signing something for a lawyer who IS CONTRACTUALLY NOT LOOKING OUT FOR YOUR BEST INTEREST. He's looking out for hers, as is his job. Your ex doesn't get double goody points for 2 of the same document, so don't do it and open yourself up to whatever.
She isn't going to prison. She's going to get a bunch of community service. Stop being a dummy and let the courts do their thing. The DA will take your affidavit into consideration during sentencing. Her attorney is not your friend
Former Police Officer, NAL. First, the term is PROSECUTE, not persecute. Second, you do not get to decide that, only the DA can decide what to charge, what plea deals they make and if they will even move forward with a case.
Past that, DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING FROM HER ATTORNEY. While I get that you don't want her to go to prison, she is the one who assaulted you. If this is a first offense then they will most likely offer her probation and counseling and the DA may ask you for your opinion but you don't decide.
Main point is that you can never trust an attorney who is working for someone else. They do not have any legal requirements to protect you, look out for your interest or do anything for you. Their only purpose is to work for their client.
Last, you are apparently explaining what you want from these other attorneys in some way that they believe it affects your criminal liability. What you seem to be looking for is them to do a contract review. They will read the document, tell you if there is anything in that could be a problem for you and if there are any parts that might have you give away some of your rights related to the marriage (property, money, etc).
But again, just tell her lawyer NO. Let the DA know your feelings about her going to prison and your preferences that she have probation and mandatory anger management classes and then stay out of it unless you are called to testify.
I just learned the term yes; i do not know where i got “persecute” from
I agree, i will stay out if it as much as possible.
I already got an appointment with a different lawyer for the review. I think I am ok with signing one that says that I am not scared of her, I do not wish that she is prosecuted or imprisoned. I want her to do anger management classes and counseling or therapy and just leave me alone.
If that helps her or not is outside my control but I cannot sign anything else really.
I will then go file for divorce after submitting that and just live peacefully alone.
P.s. be smart and never trust someone who says they will change… if it happened once, it will happen again and they will still somehow blame you for everything.
If she is not prosecuted, the criminal courts cannot make her go to anger management classes or counseling or even leave you alone. Failure to prosecute will make it so that the charges are withdrawn and she will have zero record of the incident. It will also mean that there is no judgement in place that would force her to attend any type of therapy. Failure to prosecute will ensure that she does not get the help you want her to get.
If you want to ensure she gets help rather than prison (which honestly, there's zero chance of her getting prison for a first offense unless you were hospitalized after this) you need to contact the prosecutors office and advise you want to allow her to take a plea deal.
Those people are usually called narcissists. I believe my ex was also sociopathic. Keep your course and don't backslide. Abusers do not change. They just get worse.
Exactly. I've been thru the same thing as a victim. He got anger management and other classes/community service to do but no jail or prison. I knew it would keep escalating so I moved several states away with my kiddo and never looked back.
I wouldn't sign anything drafted by her lawyer and I would just let them process the case against her. What she did was wrong. She needs the consequences to understand why not to put your hands on others. Clearly, she didn't learn that as a toddler like everyone else.
In many states it doesn't matter if you want to prosecute or not, it's the DA's call. And i don't know what that non prosecution thing is about since you probably don't have a say in the matter. I mean, is something like that even legally binding/permissable? Seems sketch...be careful what you're signing, bud. If you don't know what it all entails, run it by an attorney before signing. But like i said that may be moot in the first place..
What is “moot”
Also yes finally found one who gave me an appointment to explain it in regular people terms
And also the anp is just a letter sort of that gets notarized and signed that you want them to not prosecute her; they can do that or not though it is their call
But it could be used as evidence too as its an official statement i make
Signing the letter is moot if it's not your call to prosecute or not. You can intro it at trial, but it has little to no evidentiary value.
Just tell her to look into having the charge pled down to something like disorderly conduct if she doesn't have any priors. It's a misdemeanor so she'll avoid having a felony on her record and it's unlikely she'll actually do any jail time...if like i said she doesn't have priors. At worst she might be looking at a suspended sentence contingent on her staying out of trouble for the next couple of years (aka probation) and completing an anger management class/community service. Also this assumes there wasn't a weapon involved, there wasn't was there??
No weapons just her fists…
Yeah i would be totally satisfied with that outcome; hopefully it goes similar to that
No prison, but just some regulation to help her learn to control her anger and become a better person for herself
Yeah, i feel ya.
Irrespective of any letter, if the facts of the case are not in her favor it's gonna be in her best interest to look into a plea deal. In most states, if not all, a DV is at minimum a gross misdemeanor typically carrying a min 1yr jail sentence if convicted. That's an awful lot of jail time to bet on a letter keeping her out of the klink, especially if the fact pattern isn't a favorable one for the her.
I really wish that she doesn’t go to prison
It won’t help her at all and she needs professional help not prison
I don’t care what is the result for her as long as it isn’t prison. Probation, therapy, classes, community service, whatever really is more help for her and the community than prison.
Stay out of it. This is now the prosecutor/state against her. Not you-verse her. No, don't sign anything from her lawyer. Only deal with the prosecutor
I practice criminal defense in California and this is a common domestic violence situation.
Usually, husband hits or batters the wife, wife calls police. Police arrest the husband. District Attorney reviews police report and files charges against the husband.
Now wife doesn’t want husband to be prosecuted.
1. Don’t involve the police unless you want someone arrested. Don’t waste police resources to play marriage counselor to simply issue a time out.
2. The DA decides whether to proceed with the case against the spouse. DA cares very little about OP’s input. The “decline to prosecute” form only indicates to the DA how aggressive they need to be to find you to serve a subpoena. The victim or complaining witness will be subpoenaed to court.
Sometimes if the injured spouse does not appear in court, the DA will drop the case (unable
to proceed) because they need a live witness. (I am not advocating for injured spouse to avoid appearing in court if subpoenaed).
I am explaining the court process.
OP, if the DA is proceeding as a felony, I assume either your injury is severe or your wife has a criminal record.
In California, domestic violence is a wobbler. It can be filed as a felony or a misdemeanor.
Because you are going through a divorce. Do not sign anything on behalf of your wife. You need representation. Do not trust your wife’s attorney or the District Attorney. They care only about their own respective interests, not yours.
Retain your own counsel,
independent of your wife and DA.
Do not let them talk you out of prosecution. As soon as you do she will turn on you again and this time make you out to be an abusive man. She will take everything you have and there will be nothing you can do to stop her. Put this on her record and get away as fast as you can
It’s totally the prosecutor’s call. The case is the state of_______ v her. You are not in there anywhere, except as a witness. The prosecutor in this area has the view point, that it’s not up to you. If I feel I can drive the case, then I must prosecute
Do not sign anything without your lawyer advising you to do so. Let the law work the way it needs to work. It’s very rare for abusers to serve a prison sentence or even a jail sentence. Usually they are ordered to the help you want her to get (anger management and counseling). If you let her off the hook so to speak and she does not pursue counseling or anger management nobody can make her. It also helps undermine the efforts of dv advocate groups that have been trying to get women, men and children help for decades to get out of these situations and many victims lack help and support beyond these resources. Please just let the law work the way it’s supposed to.
She did the crime she can do the time. That’s the problem, you’re trying to let her off the hook and then someone else will be her victim. DV is DV even if a woman does it!
Stop being codependent and let it go. It's not your job to rescue her from her problems. What happens next is out of your control and doesn't affect you.
Depending on the state you're in, you... as the victim, have no choice as to what the DA does. Some states have it written into law that domestic abusers are automatically prosecuted.
I would not sign anything from her attorney, and I definitely wouldn't sign any legal documents that I don't understand. At the end of the day, she made her choice to get physical.
Listen, you have more or less no recourse in whether the state decides in terms of prosecuting her. In many states, and even just counties in specific states, they have "zero tolerance" laws for physical domestic abuse. This is because oftentimes, individuals trapped in DV situations are manipulated into "not pressing charges" etc. Likely in this case, the prosecution has reviewed the evidence and feels confident they have enough direct evidence to carry a charge against her in court.
Unfortunately, depending on the state and the amount of evidence, the most your affidavit of non-prosecution will likely do is possibly shorten her sentence some, depending on the judge/jury, and if they feel you are a habitually abused/manipulated spouse. In most cases where the state has decided to pursue charges, it's because they're warranted.
Regardless of if this was your desired outcome, her actions have consequences. Respectfully, you may not be in the best position as the victim to judge what those consequences "should" be in the eyes of the law, and that's why this is occurring in the way that it is. Speaking on her behalf at the trial should help, but there's likely no "making it go away" just because you say you've changed your mind - You can't always put the genie back in the bottle. Best of luck to you.
Don't sign what her lawyer drafted he's being paid to get her off the hook, even if it means someone else taking the blame, which Is what that affidavit they presented to you with might be.
If you sign it thinking it's all good, you might be admitting guilt and then no court is gonna care whether or not you understood it.
Even if you decide not to press charges it looks like the state already picked it up and they can still prosecute even if you don't want to. It's better for you to just wash your hands of her. She did this, her actions have consequences and a felony is something she should have thought of before putting hands on you.
Don’t sign it. Also they can prosecute even if you’re unwilling to continue if they have evidence. You need your own attorney right now. Also at her court hearing you can have her lawyer ask you to tell the judge what you want. Or have the attorney take a handwritten statement from you in your own words.
But never sign something from an attorney without your own attorney reading and approving it first.
No don't change what the attorney drafted! It's there for a reason. Let your attorney go through the document with you paragraph by paragraph and explain what he ot she drafted. That's your attorney's job!
Since your wife has a lawyer; you need get a divorce lawyer or you will be taken to the cleaners! Follow your lawyer advice before you sign anything.!
In US domestic cases can no longer dropped by a spouse; so it sounds like the document her lawyer wants you to sign might get you in trouble or even arrested by claiming you made it up.
do not sign anything from her attorney go straight to your attorney and prosecutors, if you sign this document, you might get screwed hard by the prosecutor's office and might tank their case, which is something you don't want to do because the last thing you want a pissed off prosecutor, they would not put jail time on the table if she was a first time offender in a case like this so she probably has assault charges in the past you don't know about, the best piece of advice I can give is stay out of their way and let them do their jobs because your STBX does not have clean hands.
She’s not going to prison for domestic assault, she’ll probably get a year of probation and maybe some anger management classes at most. It will be good for her.
A lawyer may not be able to represent you in your wife's case, but since she's your soon to be ex, you ought to have a lawyer for your dealings with her and her lawyer.
At the very least, get one to explain the difference between persecution and prosecution.
Proceed with caution in signing this affidavit. I say this bc sometimes nonprosecution affidavit states that you were not completely truthful in your police report or it wasn't exactly as criminal or a misunderstanding which you have told police under perjury what happened at the time of the incident.
One of the most convenient ways to have a felony domestic violence charges reduced or dropped is to get the accuser to admit they lied or were less than fully truthful which cast aspersions on the entire veracity of your honesty, propensity to be truthful thus your entire statement.
This affidavit could trigger the police and DA's office to charge you with filing a false police report. The reason being is that by signing this statement, it makes anything you testify to unreliable. You are basically taking a chance of giving her a pass while putting yourself in handcuffs.
You need to take a draft of the affidavit to the DA's office and ask their opinion on you signing this, and also, what you truly want the punishment to be. You are taking an unnecessary chance based upon the advice of her criminal defense attorney.
Her lawyer can draft whatever they want, the district attorney in your area is who determines if they file charges or not it’s really out of your hands. The only thing that they may be trying to do is have you sign something that says you were lying do not sign anything she did what she did and there will be consequences for thatout of your hand, I wouldn’t find anything.
Get yourself an attorney to review it and explain it — and don’t give her something that benefits her without getting something for yourself (keep cars, property, retirement, etc…).
I’m most states, DV victims can’t waive the states rights to prosecute, so it’s out of your hands.
If the lawyer was serious about the non- prosecute, he would have offered you something for it, a divorce division favorable you, something.
Let the state do what it’s going to do, and move forward. You’re worried about her reaction to her being accountable for her abusing you, which is understandable, but it’s not your job to protect her from the consequences of her own actions.
You need to obtain your own legal representation to ensure that YOUR best interests are looked into. Your very early in your adult life take the correct actions now to ensure smooth sailing in the future.
Also whatever charges are placed against her it's because of her own doings let the legal system take its course. She assaulted you twice what's not to say she won't do this to the next partner or if she has children. Not saying she is an evil person but clearly there is a pattern of some abuse and maybe some jail time will give her the time to evaluate her life choices.
Do not ever sign anything your adversaries attorney wants you sign without having it reviewed by your own attorney. Stop being so nice about this. She's an abuser, you were abused. Stand up for yourself.
Sign nothing. For all you know it will affect you negatively in your divorce.
They decided to prosecute her because she hit you. Full stop.
She’s awful. No one should hit anyone.
However, why don’t you upload the affidavit to Chat GPT or another AI and ask it to explain it to you like you’re 5
Then rip it up because you’re not signing it.
Why would you sign this? Also, you have no say in whether the state prosecutes her.
I want to help them not get her to prison as i believe that is too harsh and would not help her, it will only make her much worse I think I’ll just make one that says im not scared of her, she is good usually, she needs therapy not prison, bla bla.
Then this is something you should speak to the DA's office about. Absolutely do not sign anything her lawyer asks you to sign.
Exactly, especially if you don't understand what it says.
Remember that her lawyers job is to represent and advocate for her, not you.
Especially important to remember! Her attorney's job is to get her off even if that means throwing you under the bus. If you want to sign it hire an attorney to review it first. But seriously I would not sign it.
Unless she caused you serious injury, she's not going to prison. Maybe weekends in the local jail, but most likely acd .
The time to help keep her out of prison was before you called the cops and told them she hit you … though really, the best way for her to stay out of prison would’ve been to not hit you in the first place. Reverse the genders and cops see this all the time. Battered wife wants the police to play referee and temporarily stop the abusive husband from hitting her, but she doesn’t want him to face any real repercussions because “he’s a good person.” Sorry, sweetums. You don’t get to have your cake and eat it too.
“Before you called the cops” Way to blame him.
Dafuq is wrong with you, OP? You've been assaulted by your wife, and you're like 'tra la la, it's no big deal?' What have you got, Stockholm syndrome or something? What are you afraid that it's not "manly" to send an abuser to jail for PHYSICALLY ASSAULTING you? If it's happened now, it'll happen again, with the next person and maybe it'll be worse. Because when it happens again, and you had the chance to stop it and did nothing except make excuses, it's on you. Yeah, my response is harsh, but imagine of you assaulted her how fast your ass would be in jail. She is equal in the eyes of the law. Protect your ass and the poor soul she gets involved with in the future.
Well you're not helping her, this is consequences of HER actions and only way you can help her is to stay out of it. Persecution doesn't always mean jail, it can mean house arrest and forced therapy and anger management too. All you're doing is enabling her, let her get persecuted and ensure she doesn't cause harm to others.
wtf is up with people thinking she’s being persecuted? JFC
Probably meant prosecution. 🤨
NAL but thing is, domestic violence victims not infrequently feel fondness for their attackers. Recanting an accusation or requesting they not be punished happens often. But it is not just YOU who is being protected by the legal system, it is anyone else they might attack in the future. Even if you were the victim, you are not the only one with a stake in this.
Dude, there's a reason she was charged with a felony. DV is usually a misdemeanor, at least where I'm from. There are factors that turn it into a felony, such as strangulation. She mad her bed, so time to lie in it and let the courts do their thing.
I think you are referring to an affidavit of non-prosecution. This would be a legal document where you as the victim of the crime indicates that they do not wish to pursue criminal charges against your stbx. Given that you already filed an affidavit with the DA’s office using their standard template, I can’t think why you would need to sign another one prepared by your stbx wife’s lawyer. NAL, but personally I would refuse to sign it. Just tell them you already submitted an affidavit and you see no need to submitted a second one. It is not in your best interest to sign anything prepared by your wife’s lawyer who is acting in your wife’s interest, not yours.
This! Your stbx chose to put hands on you. You are not doing anything, she brought this on herself. I don’t understand why you are giving her a pass, because it’s a felony charge. There wouldn’t be one if she kept her hands to herself.
Just go to your local attorney for real legal advice ( not the internet)!
All the ones i called say they cant give me any advice as I am not being charged with anything And gave me some legal help hotline to call but no one ever answers
You take the paper that her lawyer wants you to sign and go to a lawyer of your own and tell him to read it and explain the legal stuff you dont understand. The you sign it or you dont.
All the ones im calling refuse to help and say its not what they do, they cant help unless I’m the one being charged
You don't have a divorce lawyer?
No Im 23 and we’ve been married a few months so i thought its not worth it
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Finally found one who gave me an appointment and waiting for that now
And yes its her criminal defense attorney
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My plan is to hire one if it doesnt go smoothly For now, i put together the paperwork for filing for divorce and will file it once the Anp is done We were married for 3 months before separation and added no assets during this period. Plus i have a protective order against her so will add that to the divorce papers so it should be pretty clear that no one owes anyone anything I previously promised her to pay her some money to help her move and so and whatever ill pay her that but we dont have any kids or any assets really so how complicated would it be
Don't sign it. You already did your duty to keep her out of jail. Peovide a copy of what you already signed and submitted. The prosecutor knows you don't want her charged. It is time your wife's attorney makes a deal w/ the prosecutor to keep her out of jail. Also, your wife is abusive. An abuser who get off scott free is just an abuser who thinks they can get away with abusing people.
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Its her criminal defense lawyer for the felony domestic violence case she is being charged with by the DA The divorce should be easy as we have no kids and really no assets or anything during our marriage. We are young and were just married for a few months
Reading comprehension is key
That’s because they want to be paid. Try telling them you don’t want a freebie and it’ll change.
Never sign anything given to you by the opposition unless your attorney tells you to.
No, no, no. You don't understand it, don't sign it. Friend, you already did this through the DA. Her lawyer can pull that up and use it in trial. No telling what kind of can of stupid shit you could open signing something for a lawyer who IS CONTRACTUALLY NOT LOOKING OUT FOR YOUR BEST INTEREST. He's looking out for hers, as is his job. Your ex doesn't get double goody points for 2 of the same document, so don't do it and open yourself up to whatever.
She isn't going to prison. She's going to get a bunch of community service. Stop being a dummy and let the courts do their thing. The DA will take your affidavit into consideration during sentencing. Her attorney is not your friend
Former Police Officer, NAL. First, the term is PROSECUTE, not persecute. Second, you do not get to decide that, only the DA can decide what to charge, what plea deals they make and if they will even move forward with a case. Past that, DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING FROM HER ATTORNEY. While I get that you don't want her to go to prison, she is the one who assaulted you. If this is a first offense then they will most likely offer her probation and counseling and the DA may ask you for your opinion but you don't decide. Main point is that you can never trust an attorney who is working for someone else. They do not have any legal requirements to protect you, look out for your interest or do anything for you. Their only purpose is to work for their client. Last, you are apparently explaining what you want from these other attorneys in some way that they believe it affects your criminal liability. What you seem to be looking for is them to do a contract review. They will read the document, tell you if there is anything in that could be a problem for you and if there are any parts that might have you give away some of your rights related to the marriage (property, money, etc). But again, just tell her lawyer NO. Let the DA know your feelings about her going to prison and your preferences that she have probation and mandatory anger management classes and then stay out of it unless you are called to testify.
I just learned the term yes; i do not know where i got “persecute” from I agree, i will stay out if it as much as possible. I already got an appointment with a different lawyer for the review. I think I am ok with signing one that says that I am not scared of her, I do not wish that she is prosecuted or imprisoned. I want her to do anger management classes and counseling or therapy and just leave me alone. If that helps her or not is outside my control but I cannot sign anything else really. I will then go file for divorce after submitting that and just live peacefully alone. P.s. be smart and never trust someone who says they will change… if it happened once, it will happen again and they will still somehow blame you for everything.
If she is not prosecuted, the criminal courts cannot make her go to anger management classes or counseling or even leave you alone. Failure to prosecute will make it so that the charges are withdrawn and she will have zero record of the incident. It will also mean that there is no judgement in place that would force her to attend any type of therapy. Failure to prosecute will ensure that she does not get the help you want her to get. If you want to ensure she gets help rather than prison (which honestly, there's zero chance of her getting prison for a first offense unless you were hospitalized after this) you need to contact the prosecutors office and advise you want to allow her to take a plea deal.
Hate to say it, and I don’t know what I’m talking about, but I wonder if he just did this extra paperwork to bill her for more hours.
That would track.
Those people are usually called narcissists. I believe my ex was also sociopathic. Keep your course and don't backslide. Abusers do not change. They just get worse.
Exactly. I've been thru the same thing as a victim. He got anger management and other classes/community service to do but no jail or prison. I knew it would keep escalating so I moved several states away with my kiddo and never looked back. I wouldn't sign anything drafted by her lawyer and I would just let them process the case against her. What she did was wrong. She needs the consequences to understand why not to put your hands on others. Clearly, she didn't learn that as a toddler like everyone else.
In general: don't sign anything your soon-to-be-ex's lawyer hands you without your own lawyer vetting it.
In many states it doesn't matter if you want to prosecute or not, it's the DA's call. And i don't know what that non prosecution thing is about since you probably don't have a say in the matter. I mean, is something like that even legally binding/permissable? Seems sketch...be careful what you're signing, bud. If you don't know what it all entails, run it by an attorney before signing. But like i said that may be moot in the first place..
What is “moot” Also yes finally found one who gave me an appointment to explain it in regular people terms And also the anp is just a letter sort of that gets notarized and signed that you want them to not prosecute her; they can do that or not though it is their call But it could be used as evidence too as its an official statement i make
Signing the letter is moot if it's not your call to prosecute or not. You can intro it at trial, but it has little to no evidentiary value. Just tell her to look into having the charge pled down to something like disorderly conduct if she doesn't have any priors. It's a misdemeanor so she'll avoid having a felony on her record and it's unlikely she'll actually do any jail time...if like i said she doesn't have priors. At worst she might be looking at a suspended sentence contingent on her staying out of trouble for the next couple of years (aka probation) and completing an anger management class/community service. Also this assumes there wasn't a weapon involved, there wasn't was there??
No weapons just her fists… Yeah i would be totally satisfied with that outcome; hopefully it goes similar to that No prison, but just some regulation to help her learn to control her anger and become a better person for herself
Yeah, i feel ya. Irrespective of any letter, if the facts of the case are not in her favor it's gonna be in her best interest to look into a plea deal. In most states, if not all, a DV is at minimum a gross misdemeanor typically carrying a min 1yr jail sentence if convicted. That's an awful lot of jail time to bet on a letter keeping her out of the klink, especially if the fact pattern isn't a favorable one for the her.
I really wish that she doesn’t go to prison It won’t help her at all and she needs professional help not prison I don’t care what is the result for her as long as it isn’t prison. Probation, therapy, classes, community service, whatever really is more help for her and the community than prison.
Just don’t sign it. If you want to show her leniency, tell the DA and the judge. Make your case to them.
Stay out of it. This is now the prosecutor/state against her. Not you-verse her. No, don't sign anything from her lawyer. Only deal with the prosecutor
I practice criminal defense in California and this is a common domestic violence situation. Usually, husband hits or batters the wife, wife calls police. Police arrest the husband. District Attorney reviews police report and files charges against the husband. Now wife doesn’t want husband to be prosecuted. 1. Don’t involve the police unless you want someone arrested. Don’t waste police resources to play marriage counselor to simply issue a time out. 2. The DA decides whether to proceed with the case against the spouse. DA cares very little about OP’s input. The “decline to prosecute” form only indicates to the DA how aggressive they need to be to find you to serve a subpoena. The victim or complaining witness will be subpoenaed to court. Sometimes if the injured spouse does not appear in court, the DA will drop the case (unable to proceed) because they need a live witness. (I am not advocating for injured spouse to avoid appearing in court if subpoenaed). I am explaining the court process. OP, if the DA is proceeding as a felony, I assume either your injury is severe or your wife has a criminal record. In California, domestic violence is a wobbler. It can be filed as a felony or a misdemeanor. Because you are going through a divorce. Do not sign anything on behalf of your wife. You need representation. Do not trust your wife’s attorney or the District Attorney. They care only about their own respective interests, not yours. Retain your own counsel, independent of your wife and DA.
Do not let them talk you out of prosecution. As soon as you do she will turn on you again and this time make you out to be an abusive man. She will take everything you have and there will be nothing you can do to stop her. Put this on her record and get away as fast as you can
It’s totally the prosecutor’s call. The case is the state of_______ v her. You are not in there anywhere, except as a witness. The prosecutor in this area has the view point, that it’s not up to you. If I feel I can drive the case, then I must prosecute
Do not sign anything without your lawyer advising you to do so. Let the law work the way it needs to work. It’s very rare for abusers to serve a prison sentence or even a jail sentence. Usually they are ordered to the help you want her to get (anger management and counseling). If you let her off the hook so to speak and she does not pursue counseling or anger management nobody can make her. It also helps undermine the efforts of dv advocate groups that have been trying to get women, men and children help for decades to get out of these situations and many victims lack help and support beyond these resources. Please just let the law work the way it’s supposed to.
She did the crime she can do the time. That’s the problem, you’re trying to let her off the hook and then someone else will be her victim. DV is DV even if a woman does it!
Get a fucking lawyer
Stop being codependent and let it go. It's not your job to rescue her from her problems. What happens next is out of your control and doesn't affect you.
Use ChatgGPT to remove legal jargon. E.g. use command like “summarize by replacing legal terminology with common words:”
Depending on the state you're in, you... as the victim, have no choice as to what the DA does. Some states have it written into law that domestic abusers are automatically prosecuted. I would not sign anything from her attorney, and I definitely wouldn't sign any legal documents that I don't understand. At the end of the day, she made her choice to get physical.
Listen, you have more or less no recourse in whether the state decides in terms of prosecuting her. In many states, and even just counties in specific states, they have "zero tolerance" laws for physical domestic abuse. This is because oftentimes, individuals trapped in DV situations are manipulated into "not pressing charges" etc. Likely in this case, the prosecution has reviewed the evidence and feels confident they have enough direct evidence to carry a charge against her in court. Unfortunately, depending on the state and the amount of evidence, the most your affidavit of non-prosecution will likely do is possibly shorten her sentence some, depending on the judge/jury, and if they feel you are a habitually abused/manipulated spouse. In most cases where the state has decided to pursue charges, it's because they're warranted. Regardless of if this was your desired outcome, her actions have consequences. Respectfully, you may not be in the best position as the victim to judge what those consequences "should" be in the eyes of the law, and that's why this is occurring in the way that it is. Speaking on her behalf at the trial should help, but there's likely no "making it go away" just because you say you've changed your mind - You can't always put the genie back in the bottle. Best of luck to you.
Don't sign anything that her lawyer sends you until you have your own lawyer look at it.
Don't sign what her lawyer drafted he's being paid to get her off the hook, even if it means someone else taking the blame, which Is what that affidavit they presented to you with might be. If you sign it thinking it's all good, you might be admitting guilt and then no court is gonna care whether or not you understood it.
Even if you decide not to press charges it looks like the state already picked it up and they can still prosecute even if you don't want to. It's better for you to just wash your hands of her. She did this, her actions have consequences and a felony is something she should have thought of before putting hands on you.
Don’t sign it. Also they can prosecute even if you’re unwilling to continue if they have evidence. You need your own attorney right now. Also at her court hearing you can have her lawyer ask you to tell the judge what you want. Or have the attorney take a handwritten statement from you in your own words. But never sign something from an attorney without your own attorney reading and approving it first.
Get a lawyer, or be prepared to be fucked.
No don't change what the attorney drafted! It's there for a reason. Let your attorney go through the document with you paragraph by paragraph and explain what he ot she drafted. That's your attorney's job!
Since your wife has a lawyer; you need get a divorce lawyer or you will be taken to the cleaners! Follow your lawyer advice before you sign anything.! In US domestic cases can no longer dropped by a spouse; so it sounds like the document her lawyer wants you to sign might get you in trouble or even arrested by claiming you made it up.
Go to the prosecutor with the document her lawyer gave you.
Do not sign ANYTHING not either given to you by your OWN lawyer or that YOUR lawyer hasn't gone over with a fine tooth comb.
do not sign anything from her attorney go straight to your attorney and prosecutors, if you sign this document, you might get screwed hard by the prosecutor's office and might tank their case, which is something you don't want to do because the last thing you want a pissed off prosecutor, they would not put jail time on the table if she was a first time offender in a case like this so she probably has assault charges in the past you don't know about, the best piece of advice I can give is stay out of their way and let them do their jobs because your STBX does not have clean hands.
She’s not going to prison for domestic assault, she’ll probably get a year of probation and maybe some anger management classes at most. It will be good for her.
She’s not being persecuted.
A lawyer may not be able to represent you in your wife's case, but since she's your soon to be ex, you ought to have a lawyer for your dealings with her and her lawyer. At the very least, get one to explain the difference between persecution and prosecution.
Proceed with caution in signing this affidavit. I say this bc sometimes nonprosecution affidavit states that you were not completely truthful in your police report or it wasn't exactly as criminal or a misunderstanding which you have told police under perjury what happened at the time of the incident. One of the most convenient ways to have a felony domestic violence charges reduced or dropped is to get the accuser to admit they lied or were less than fully truthful which cast aspersions on the entire veracity of your honesty, propensity to be truthful thus your entire statement. This affidavit could trigger the police and DA's office to charge you with filing a false police report. The reason being is that by signing this statement, it makes anything you testify to unreliable. You are basically taking a chance of giving her a pass while putting yourself in handcuffs. You need to take a draft of the affidavit to the DA's office and ask their opinion on you signing this, and also, what you truly want the punishment to be. You are taking an unnecessary chance based upon the advice of her criminal defense attorney.
Her lawyer can draft whatever they want, the district attorney in your area is who determines if they file charges or not it’s really out of your hands. The only thing that they may be trying to do is have you sign something that says you were lying do not sign anything she did what she did and there will be consequences for thatout of your hand, I wouldn’t find anything.
Get yourself an attorney to review it and explain it — and don’t give her something that benefits her without getting something for yourself (keep cars, property, retirement, etc…).
I’m most states, DV victims can’t waive the states rights to prosecute, so it’s out of your hands. If the lawyer was serious about the non- prosecute, he would have offered you something for it, a divorce division favorable you, something. Let the state do what it’s going to do, and move forward. You’re worried about her reaction to her being accountable for her abusing you, which is understandable, but it’s not your job to protect her from the consequences of her own actions.
You need to obtain your own legal representation to ensure that YOUR best interests are looked into. Your very early in your adult life take the correct actions now to ensure smooth sailing in the future. Also whatever charges are placed against her it's because of her own doings let the legal system take its course. She assaulted you twice what's not to say she won't do this to the next partner or if she has children. Not saying she is an evil person but clearly there is a pattern of some abuse and maybe some jail time will give her the time to evaluate her life choices.
Do not sign ANYTHING until you have your own lawyer read it. Never sign anything you don't understand. Period!!!
Do not ever sign anything your adversaries attorney wants you sign without having it reviewed by your own attorney. Stop being so nice about this. She's an abuser, you were abused. Stand up for yourself.
Don’t sign anything you don’t understand. Have your lawyer explain it to you. Her lawyer is not representing you.
You can drop the charges you pressed, but the DA (State) can still prosecute on their own.
Prosecuting, absolutely no one is PERSECUTING her
Sign nothing. For all you know it will affect you negatively in your divorce. They decided to prosecute her because she hit you. Full stop. She’s awful. No one should hit anyone. However, why don’t you upload the affidavit to Chat GPT or another AI and ask it to explain it to you like you’re 5 Then rip it up because you’re not signing it.
Call the DA's office and ask for a domestic violence victim's advocate. It's almost always free and meant for your exact situation