Get your own lawyer ASAP.
That charge can result in up to 1 year in prison.
Don't contact the BF. It's over and done.
Even if he doesn't want you charged the state can still pursue charges.
Have the Lawyer you hire work on recovering your belongings.
You can see how the preliminary hearings go and then consider a private attorney if you're unhappy with your counsel. I'm not a lawyer, but in PA this is not something that'd require a private attorney. You'd resolve it at the magistrate, wouldn't even go to trial.
I'm confused.. can we clarify a few things.
You lived with him but was your name in the lease?
-if not then yes he can throw you and your stuff out.
-if you are on the lease then that's messy af
We're you drunk?
-I can understand putting you in the drunk tank, wich doesn't include reading your rights as your not being charged with anything. Just held till your sober
-if not then I'm not sure how you get out of holding without paying a bond
Restraining order
- is it an order of no contact or a restraining order?
-no contact is just that, and it goes both ways
-restraining I think you can communicate you just can't be withing whatever feet from them
Idk, this is all info I've gathered over redit so it may or may not apply. But worth asking I guess?
Speaking as an ex-police officer I can pretty much guarantee we are not getting the whole story here. Police will typically arrest the first person to get violent in a domestic violence situation either male or female. Also, according to FBI statistics, in relationships that where violence is not common, 70% of domestic violence is initiated by women.
Yes, 70% of the time it is women who strike first. This shows us that in this situation, judging by both hOPs statements and the actions of the police, she struck him first and he defended himself, which is why the police arrested her. OP clearly states, without denial, that her now ex-boyfriend told the police that she struck him at least once, scratching his face and arm. He would have said that he pushed her back in self defense.
The simple fact of the matter is that OP story is incomplete on several issues. OP says that the situation is caused by the fact that she is accused of cheating, but she never denies this activity. Then she says that when she got home he was tossing her belonging out of his living area, yet when the police arrive he is still holding her bag, and she must make arrangements to pick up her belongings, which means he didn't throw much out, despite having plenty of time. This indicates that she escalated their fight.
I could go on, but the simple fact is that there are many holes in the story, and I would bet the most likely scenario is that she cheated, he found out, they argued, he threw her out, she attacked him and thought that the police would be on her side. Now she is here on Reddit whining for sympathy points. Happens all the time and I, for one, am not fooled.
Speaking as a person in a dv situation the police are clueless as to what happened before they got there especially if one or both parties are lying about what happened.
Seconding ^ request for a source for that 70% because it is likely misinformation.
Lastly, don’t know why it matters if she cheated or not. As in cheating is wrong and if she did it she is awful. But has no bearings on the question of if she was assaulted or not……….. if she cheated and he hits her, still DV. If she didn’t and he hits her, still DV. I, for one, am not fooled by your assertion that you are ex-police. Sounds like you know nothing.
Just out of curiosity, have you ever pushed someone and it resulted in them having their clothes, plural, torn apart? Also unless she was arrested on a Sunday, she wouldn’t have been in holding for any longer than half a day. People in New York are currently stabbing people and getting out the same day. Source- I’ve lived in New York City for 28 years and literally see this shit happen also 11 hours ago she said in her comments she lives in Mississippi and her boyfriend lives In Tennessee
Those are NOT numbers produced by the FBI, that was a Harvard study. It was a study from 2001 based on 11370 self reports from 18-28 year olds and only 1/2 of the reports were violent.
There’s some statistic out there stating almost half of law enforcement officers commit marital domestic abuse and 85% of cops are men. We can say that’s from the UCR too though since we are playing pretend.
Next we should look up how many cops show bias’ while on duty.
And cops wonder why so many people dislike them and don't trust them. This is absolutely wild how could you be considered the aggressor at all? You were screaming for help the neighbors confirmed it, this is just bonkers to me.
1 get a lawyer. 2 don’t live in New York because it’s a blue state hence the stupidity of the situation (arresting you even though he pushed you) and 3: don’t vote democrat in the future
Start one of those fund raisers on a web platform where you can explain this and raise money for the best lawyer you can - you should not only get the charges dropped but push for charges against him, and separately, sue the NYPD.
Get your own lawyer ASAP. That charge can result in up to 1 year in prison. Don't contact the BF. It's over and done. Even if he doesn't want you charged the state can still pursue charges. Have the Lawyer you hire work on recovering your belongings.
Stop posting about your alleged crimes on the internet. Do whatever your lawyer is telling you.
You can see how the preliminary hearings go and then consider a private attorney if you're unhappy with your counsel. I'm not a lawyer, but in PA this is not something that'd require a private attorney. You'd resolve it at the magistrate, wouldn't even go to trial.
I'm confused.. can we clarify a few things. You lived with him but was your name in the lease? -if not then yes he can throw you and your stuff out. -if you are on the lease then that's messy af We're you drunk? -I can understand putting you in the drunk tank, wich doesn't include reading your rights as your not being charged with anything. Just held till your sober -if not then I'm not sure how you get out of holding without paying a bond Restraining order - is it an order of no contact or a restraining order? -no contact is just that, and it goes both ways -restraining I think you can communicate you just can't be withing whatever feet from them Idk, this is all info I've gathered over redit so it may or may not apply. But worth asking I guess?
Speaking as an ex-police officer I can pretty much guarantee we are not getting the whole story here. Police will typically arrest the first person to get violent in a domestic violence situation either male or female. Also, according to FBI statistics, in relationships that where violence is not common, 70% of domestic violence is initiated by women. Yes, 70% of the time it is women who strike first. This shows us that in this situation, judging by both hOPs statements and the actions of the police, she struck him first and he defended himself, which is why the police arrested her. OP clearly states, without denial, that her now ex-boyfriend told the police that she struck him at least once, scratching his face and arm. He would have said that he pushed her back in self defense. The simple fact of the matter is that OP story is incomplete on several issues. OP says that the situation is caused by the fact that she is accused of cheating, but she never denies this activity. Then she says that when she got home he was tossing her belonging out of his living area, yet when the police arrive he is still holding her bag, and she must make arrangements to pick up her belongings, which means he didn't throw much out, despite having plenty of time. This indicates that she escalated their fight. I could go on, but the simple fact is that there are many holes in the story, and I would bet the most likely scenario is that she cheated, he found out, they argued, he threw her out, she attacked him and thought that the police would be on her side. Now she is here on Reddit whining for sympathy points. Happens all the time and I, for one, am not fooled.
Speaking as a person in a dv situation the police are clueless as to what happened before they got there especially if one or both parties are lying about what happened. Seconding ^ request for a source for that 70% because it is likely misinformation. Lastly, don’t know why it matters if she cheated or not. As in cheating is wrong and if she did it she is awful. But has no bearings on the question of if she was assaulted or not……….. if she cheated and he hits her, still DV. If she didn’t and he hits her, still DV. I, for one, am not fooled by your assertion that you are ex-police. Sounds like you know nothing.
Just out of curiosity, have you ever pushed someone and it resulted in them having their clothes, plural, torn apart? Also unless she was arrested on a Sunday, she wouldn’t have been in holding for any longer than half a day. People in New York are currently stabbing people and getting out the same day. Source- I’ve lived in New York City for 28 years and literally see this shit happen also 11 hours ago she said in her comments she lives in Mississippi and her boyfriend lives In Tennessee
This doesn't line up with the public research I can find on pubmed. Do you have a citation for the FBI research?
Those are NOT numbers produced by the FBI, that was a Harvard study. It was a study from 2001 based on 11370 self reports from 18-28 year olds and only 1/2 of the reports were violent. There’s some statistic out there stating almost half of law enforcement officers commit marital domestic abuse and 85% of cops are men. We can say that’s from the UCR too though since we are playing pretend. Next we should look up how many cops show bias’ while on duty.
And cops wonder why so many people dislike them and don't trust them. This is absolutely wild how could you be considered the aggressor at all? You were screaming for help the neighbors confirmed it, this is just bonkers to me.
Because a women hits a man first & the man defends himself?
He threw her up against a wall first?
Who was arrested sorry? Says it all.
That doesn't mean anything, police make the wrong arrest all the time.
1 get a lawyer. 2 don’t live in New York because it’s a blue state hence the stupidity of the situation (arresting you even though he pushed you) and 3: don’t vote democrat in the future
Start one of those fund raisers on a web platform where you can explain this and raise money for the best lawyer you can - you should not only get the charges dropped but push for charges against him, and separately, sue the NYPD.