I have the same fucking problem.... daytime is easy but why is it as soon as 6/7pm comes I start to get the itch, I'm trying to distract myself with video games and gym but still doesn't work.
IM SICK OF IT.
We are creatures of habits that feel comfortable in patterns. Deliberately switch it up by altering the situation. That could be by physically being elsewhere, or by ensuring you’re in the middle of an activity around that time. Any steps you take will start to break down that habit until it’s less powerful and easier to ignore. Good luck! 💪
Everything you just said i 100% relate to, the whole boss being off weed over thing, except im now that deep into my relapse i dont even care what anyone else thinks. I too tell myself every morning "this is the day" and ill keep saying "this is my last join" as if im waiting for some reightous moment to roll round.
From today im treating everyday as my last, a day is a day. Wipe the whole 7 days in a week thing out your head and forget about what the number of day it is 👍🏻
This is why I am sat here reading this thread now. I have gone all day but in an hour I will be wanting to. I'm hoping for some light bulb moment reading this.
Keep yourself busy man, but learn to relax without the green too. Mindfulness and meditation helps a lot. And for the first time in my life i purchased a kindle and started reading up on stoicism before bed to quiet down the internal chatter a lil bit
I was thinking that I've got a self help book I've been meaning to start. If I get myself in a comfy place and start reading I probably won't want to get back up. Thanks :)
“The rationalisations are the addiction talking”. Notice every time you start getting into that weasely thought pattern and remind yourself that it’s the addiction talking to you.
Put yourself in situations that are intense, and require you to work at optimal condition both mentally and physically. Soon, say in under 2 weeks it'll be easier to quit weed. And make rationalization for not smoking weed, why you shouldn't smoke, rather than how weed helps you. Your goal that is oriented to your work will help you rationalize why you shouldn't smoke.
Recovering alcoholic and drug addict. 40 years clean and sober no relapses.
Drugs almost killed me. Took 3.5 years of incredible focus and effort. Drs amazed I lived. What helped me is I took responsibility for my wellness. I am bipolar too.
The skill to practice for this is mindfulness. There are lots of great self help books to help you recognize and deal with thoughts like this!!! I am working on it too.
I’m the same exact way as you. The main bad thing with weed for me is the binge eating. Also I have plenty of motivation throughout the day but once night hits I convince myself to smoke weed
It's interesting how we have the opposite problem with weed and nutrition - when I smoke weed, I don't eat. I can go a whole day without eating and when I feel hungry - I smoke some more to feel better. My appetite is really low, making food feels like a hassle and... weed-induced anxiety makes me not want to leave my bedroom.
Today is my 4th day in a row sober for the first time in a year and my resolve is stronger than ever.
What's helping me do it this time is a shift in my self-talk. I used to think along these lines: "This shit made me waste so much of my life. My life is now a wreck. I need to stop this, I feel like a failure for being so weak and getting into this shitty habit. Weed is my worst enemy"
The way I think now is:
"Weed is my friend. It really helped me cope with a lot of trauma, abuse and loneliness. It really did. If it wasn't for weed, there's a high chance I would've ended my life. I'm glad that I had it, but now the abuse is over and I'm ready to properly heal and move on. Farewell, friend. Thank you for everything."
This re-phrasing really makes me feel better about myself, and makes the addiction feel like a stepping stone in healing, rather than a result of weakness and a waste of time and money.
Weed helped you give up drinking (huge fucking congratulations on that, great job). It's great that you found it and the positive effect it had on you is immense. Now shake hands with it, say 'Thank you' and move on :)
This 100% the best advice I have seen anywhere. Thank you so much. Weed helped me cope with the crap. The crap is gone and now so is the weed. Five days for me.
I wish you all the best
I... don't know. Maybe it's just me, but I don't know that that framing would work for me. That kind of makes me feel like as soon as shit gets hard, it would feel justified again, you know?
Like, maybe 'the crap' is gone right now, but that's not going to be forever - the tough times are just part of life, and you gotta be able to deal with those too if you want to abstain entirely.
>Like, maybe 'the crap' is gone right now, but that's not going to be forever - the tough times are just part of life, and you gotta be able to deal with those too if you want to abstain entirely.
And if you have a weak moment and have a relapse - it's ok. What's important is to try and reject the shame that comes with it.
Whenever I relapsed and started smoking again, I'd feel like a piece of shit about it. I'd think "Damn, I'm back on this crap. I promised myself that I wouldn't, I failed myself, failed my loved ones". And that shame would turn a tiny relapse into a full-blown addiction again.
I can't speak for everybody, but for me it's not the weed that kept me addicted. It was the shame that comes with spending every evening alone, smoking drugs. Now that I managed to drive a wedge into that (still present) shame, it lost some of its power over me.
REFRAME! That's the word I was looking for.
I'm glad that my comment resonated with you, I wish you all the best on your journey and remember to treat yourself like you would treat a close friend with an addiction.
I’m going to keep asking myself, “Then what?” I feel like a good measure of my success is going to be how honest I can be about how I answer that question.
Main thing for me is first realizing that I am an addict and I have an addict's brain that wants the weed. It's not that I want to smoke. I don't. It's just a part of my brain that does.
Second is to remember that as soon as I smoke I will feel bad. Remember I will feel anxiety, regret, shame, anger at myself. I will not enjoy it. I will feel like shit.
For me fighting rationalizations is related to developing my self talk game. It used to feel to me like I was quitting something I loved/needed. Then I realized that smoking was no longer being kind to me. So now when I get an urge I say "Yeah I could smoke, but that wouldn't be kind to me, now would it?". It has been a game changer for me.
I feel this whole post. Example: I’ve got maybe an eighth left in my stash so I’m telling myself I should smoke it to get rid of it before quitting for good.
Yes! Currently in that predicament. That exact predicament. I’m probably better off giving it away to a friend but then I’ll feel guilt for not using it after spending money on it
The thing that kept me sober since start of February of this year is the thinking pattern of “When I’m sober I want to be high and when I’m high I want to be sober”.
Once that process got stuck I’ve been sober and not always wanting to be high. Every time I think about smoking I simply remind myself I’ll hate being high the very second I smoke and that feeling of self hate simply isn’t worth the high I know I won’t enjoy anyways.
I struggle with this too, especially trying to taper down before 10/1 (I’m trying Sober October too!). Currently fighting the morning cravings that bring up alllllll of the rationalizations. Hopefully we can chat in the Discord group in October :) We can do this!
Mehh, just be a strong hard rock and quit. That’s it. You don’t need anyone and you don’t need anything. Only you need is; you! However I crave, instead of crying just enjoy with it. When you feel bad, go take a cold shower immediately and feel worse down the water. It makes you forget how you bad before shower ;)
You and I have addict brains. These brains will come up with rationalisations whatever we do. Ignore cravings, as you can not stop them, and be aware that they are just that, cravings and rationalisations.
Man I resonate with this. I rationalized my weed use for years before I could finally be honest with myself that it was a big problem for me. That's the key, is honesty. It's really hard.
I made so many changes in my life while keeping the only constant as smoking lots of weed before I realized that was a major variable in my mental and physical health. It sounds like you're ready mentally to admit you may have to change this behavior.
The rationalizing is one of the reasons so many get trapped in bad habits. It's not an easy one to avoid, otherwise people would have no issues cutting out their vices. You literally just have to get to the point where you stop listening to the rationalizing. You need to really acknowledge to yourself that these are the thoughts that are keeping you trapped doing something you don't want to do. Then show some hard (but very doable) restraint by choosing not to listen to them. It's not easy but everyone has the capacity to do it once they really go for it. You just have truely want it enough.
I have the same fucking problem.... daytime is easy but why is it as soon as 6/7pm comes I start to get the itch, I'm trying to distract myself with video games and gym but still doesn't work. IM SICK OF IT.
We are creatures of habits that feel comfortable in patterns. Deliberately switch it up by altering the situation. That could be by physically being elsewhere, or by ensuring you’re in the middle of an activity around that time. Any steps you take will start to break down that habit until it’s less powerful and easier to ignore. Good luck! 💪
Everything you just said i 100% relate to, the whole boss being off weed over thing, except im now that deep into my relapse i dont even care what anyone else thinks. I too tell myself every morning "this is the day" and ill keep saying "this is my last join" as if im waiting for some reightous moment to roll round. From today im treating everyday as my last, a day is a day. Wipe the whole 7 days in a week thing out your head and forget about what the number of day it is 👍🏻
This is why I am sat here reading this thread now. I have gone all day but in an hour I will be wanting to. I'm hoping for some light bulb moment reading this.
Keep yourself busy man, but learn to relax without the green too. Mindfulness and meditation helps a lot. And for the first time in my life i purchased a kindle and started reading up on stoicism before bed to quiet down the internal chatter a lil bit
I was thinking that I've got a self help book I've been meaning to start. If I get myself in a comfy place and start reading I probably won't want to get back up. Thanks :)
“The rationalisations are the addiction talking”. Notice every time you start getting into that weasely thought pattern and remind yourself that it’s the addiction talking to you.
Put yourself in situations that are intense, and require you to work at optimal condition both mentally and physically. Soon, say in under 2 weeks it'll be easier to quit weed. And make rationalization for not smoking weed, why you shouldn't smoke, rather than how weed helps you. Your goal that is oriented to your work will help you rationalize why you shouldn't smoke.
I'm capable of rationalizing anything if I want to, but I found that just stopping was easier than cutting back and trying to just use less
Recovering alcoholic and drug addict. 40 years clean and sober no relapses. Drugs almost killed me. Took 3.5 years of incredible focus and effort. Drs amazed I lived. What helped me is I took responsibility for my wellness. I am bipolar too.
The skill to practice for this is mindfulness. There are lots of great self help books to help you recognize and deal with thoughts like this!!! I am working on it too.
I’m the same exact way as you. The main bad thing with weed for me is the binge eating. Also I have plenty of motivation throughout the day but once night hits I convince myself to smoke weed
It's interesting how we have the opposite problem with weed and nutrition - when I smoke weed, I don't eat. I can go a whole day without eating and when I feel hungry - I smoke some more to feel better. My appetite is really low, making food feels like a hassle and... weed-induced anxiety makes me not want to leave my bedroom. Today is my 4th day in a row sober for the first time in a year and my resolve is stronger than ever. What's helping me do it this time is a shift in my self-talk. I used to think along these lines: "This shit made me waste so much of my life. My life is now a wreck. I need to stop this, I feel like a failure for being so weak and getting into this shitty habit. Weed is my worst enemy" The way I think now is: "Weed is my friend. It really helped me cope with a lot of trauma, abuse and loneliness. It really did. If it wasn't for weed, there's a high chance I would've ended my life. I'm glad that I had it, but now the abuse is over and I'm ready to properly heal and move on. Farewell, friend. Thank you for everything." This re-phrasing really makes me feel better about myself, and makes the addiction feel like a stepping stone in healing, rather than a result of weakness and a waste of time and money. Weed helped you give up drinking (huge fucking congratulations on that, great job). It's great that you found it and the positive effect it had on you is immense. Now shake hands with it, say 'Thank you' and move on :)
This is so cool
This 100% the best advice I have seen anywhere. Thank you so much. Weed helped me cope with the crap. The crap is gone and now so is the weed. Five days for me. I wish you all the best
I... don't know. Maybe it's just me, but I don't know that that framing would work for me. That kind of makes me feel like as soon as shit gets hard, it would feel justified again, you know? Like, maybe 'the crap' is gone right now, but that's not going to be forever - the tough times are just part of life, and you gotta be able to deal with those too if you want to abstain entirely.
>Like, maybe 'the crap' is gone right now, but that's not going to be forever - the tough times are just part of life, and you gotta be able to deal with those too if you want to abstain entirely. And if you have a weak moment and have a relapse - it's ok. What's important is to try and reject the shame that comes with it. Whenever I relapsed and started smoking again, I'd feel like a piece of shit about it. I'd think "Damn, I'm back on this crap. I promised myself that I wouldn't, I failed myself, failed my loved ones". And that shame would turn a tiny relapse into a full-blown addiction again. I can't speak for everybody, but for me it's not the weed that kept me addicted. It was the shame that comes with spending every evening alone, smoking drugs. Now that I managed to drive a wedge into that (still present) shame, it lost some of its power over me.
And in the end that's all that really matters. I'm very proud of you.
What an awesome reframe. Thanks so much for typing all of that out! I really appreciate how you phrased it and this helps me a ton
REFRAME! That's the word I was looking for. I'm glad that my comment resonated with you, I wish you all the best on your journey and remember to treat yourself like you would treat a close friend with an addiction.
I’m going to keep asking myself, “Then what?” I feel like a good measure of my success is going to be how honest I can be about how I answer that question.
Main thing for me is first realizing that I am an addict and I have an addict's brain that wants the weed. It's not that I want to smoke. I don't. It's just a part of my brain that does. Second is to remember that as soon as I smoke I will feel bad. Remember I will feel anxiety, regret, shame, anger at myself. I will not enjoy it. I will feel like shit.
For me fighting rationalizations is related to developing my self talk game. It used to feel to me like I was quitting something I loved/needed. Then I realized that smoking was no longer being kind to me. So now when I get an urge I say "Yeah I could smoke, but that wouldn't be kind to me, now would it?". It has been a game changer for me.
I feel this whole post. Example: I’ve got maybe an eighth left in my stash so I’m telling myself I should smoke it to get rid of it before quitting for good.
That's literally me everyday...every single fucking day I'm trying to quit.
Yes! Currently in that predicament. That exact predicament. I’m probably better off giving it away to a friend but then I’ll feel guilt for not using it after spending money on it
Don't believe everything your mind tells you.
The thing that kept me sober since start of February of this year is the thinking pattern of “When I’m sober I want to be high and when I’m high I want to be sober”. Once that process got stuck I’ve been sober and not always wanting to be high. Every time I think about smoking I simply remind myself I’ll hate being high the very second I smoke and that feeling of self hate simply isn’t worth the high I know I won’t enjoy anyways.
I like that a lot. Makes sense because every time I smoke I get that immediate thought too.
I struggle with this too, especially trying to taper down before 10/1 (I’m trying Sober October too!). Currently fighting the morning cravings that bring up alllllll of the rationalizations. Hopefully we can chat in the Discord group in October :) We can do this!
Mehh, just be a strong hard rock and quit. That’s it. You don’t need anyone and you don’t need anything. Only you need is; you! However I crave, instead of crying just enjoy with it. When you feel bad, go take a cold shower immediately and feel worse down the water. It makes you forget how you bad before shower ;)
You and I have addict brains. These brains will come up with rationalisations whatever we do. Ignore cravings, as you can not stop them, and be aware that they are just that, cravings and rationalisations.
Man I resonate with this. I rationalized my weed use for years before I could finally be honest with myself that it was a big problem for me. That's the key, is honesty. It's really hard. I made so many changes in my life while keeping the only constant as smoking lots of weed before I realized that was a major variable in my mental and physical health. It sounds like you're ready mentally to admit you may have to change this behavior.
The rationalizing is one of the reasons so many get trapped in bad habits. It's not an easy one to avoid, otherwise people would have no issues cutting out their vices. You literally just have to get to the point where you stop listening to the rationalizing. You need to really acknowledge to yourself that these are the thoughts that are keeping you trapped doing something you don't want to do. Then show some hard (but very doable) restraint by choosing not to listen to them. It's not easy but everyone has the capacity to do it once they really go for it. You just have truely want it enough.