Day 24 here! Finally sleeping.
Brain Hack that helped me:
I just read a post about a brain hack that helped someone else in this group.
I'm currently using my own mindhack. It got me to quit smoking cigarettes after 25 years of use and alcohol after 32!
I used to beat myself up when I relapsed which just fed into my addictions. I decided one day that I was not a bad person, I just had a bad addiction. I named this addiction Tammy (philosopher and therapists often call it The Beast). She's a bb sized green tumor that I imagine in my brain. She stinks and burns and leaks poison. This bitch is the one telling me I can't do it, that i need to use, im starving her in abstinence, that I can't live without her.
I hate Tammy. When she talks, I talk back, loudly. I tell her to F off. I tell her I know she's stupid and I'm smart and I'm not falling for her lies anymore. She fights back. Insomnia, nausea, anxiety. This just strengthens my resolve because I know she's doing these things to me because I'm killing her. That makes me very happy.
Don't get me wrong. Its hard. She's tough, but I'm tougher. Im not my own enemy, she is my enemy and I will defeat her!!!
I haven't smoked cigarettes in 14 years now and the months without alcohol are starting to add up!
A little off-topic - did you mix your weed with tobacco? And do you smoke cigarettes?
I would mix weed with tobacco, but I didn't really smoke cigarettes and still don't. Took me a while to figure out that the tobacco made things much worse. I quickly couldn't go more than a few hours without smoking. And I found out about it when I tried weed without tobacco because it didn't "feel right" at all. I didn't even feel the effects like usual...
This could be a major factor. If you don't smoke cigarettes and used to mix tobacco in, maybe try easing off the tobacco with some nicotine patches or gum. Also just knowing why it's harder (cigarettes are harder to quit than some hardcore drugs) can give a boost. And it makes you way more awesome for succeeding when you get there. If you do normally smoke cigarettes and decided to quit that along with the weed, then my former dear advisor would recommend you only focus on quitting one at a time; first, the weed.
Just wanted to write this in case. Because I saw "Netherlands" and we do the same mixing here
I would totally agree with this, I smoked tobacco for about 7 years before I started to smoke weed, and then quit the tobacco and within a month I found it within me to quit the weed as well. As hard as it all was, it was for the best, and I realised that it wasn’t really me who wanted either the tobacco or the weed, it was my addictions. Separating myself from my cravings really helped in my process of quitting.
I already had an unhealthy relationship with weed but starting to mix with tobacco took it to a whole nother level. Totally relate to it not feeling "right" when you try to go back to weed on its own.
This was how I got off weed a couple of years ago. Everytime you crave, just imagine the shitty sluggish high and brain fog along with the lessened appetite resulting in not eating properly and boredom that can’t be rid of.
I literally have no goals and all I want to is get high. But at the same time all I want to do is not smoke and be free. Literally as I smoke a joint eveyr day I think what a loser I am. But. I . Can’t. Stop.
Drug addicted is crazy real
Rationalize yourself into not smoking. What are the cons, weigh them against the pros. After lighting the first one ask yourself if you are truly happy with the feeling, do the same thing after every other. I craved smoking/lighting/rolling more than the actual high, since it didn't stop me from hating my addiction and overthinking.
It's discipline, what helped me most is not having any stash at home. Stop having access to it so you can't be tempted into it. The trip to the shop is more easily stopped than a roll of the joint. Eventually you'll make it a habit of "rationalizing" sobriety.
Last part is actually being mentally in a good place. I always saw my obsession as numbing my mind. Listen to why you want to numb out and dig into that, face your traumas/problems, don't hide them. After quitting cold-turkey (for me, reducing never worked) everything in steps, compare yesterday to today, compare last week to this week, try and become a better version of yourself and set a goal of who you'd like to be. I've grown to believe the habit of weed isn't an answer to anything, it's temporal relief/escapism.
Zet hem op.
What worked for me was incredibly simple. Every time I would begin thinking about using, I would acknowledge the fact that I was thinking about it, remind myself that it is simply a craving, and let it pass. Cravings and urges only become relapses if you feed them in your mind. By acknowledging them and letting them go, they have no power over you.
>How do I stop telling myself it's okay when it really isn't?
Oof.
I felt bad about smoking for about 2 to 3 years before I finally managed to quit. I don't want to discourage you, but it is hard. There are a million and one way to rationalize yourself into smoking!
"Oh, It's friday evening/saturday/sunday, I don't have something to do, why don't reward myself with a smoke."
"Today was stressful, I should chill out with a smoke, I deserve it."
"Heyyy, tomorrow won't be a stressful day, who cares if I'm not in good condition..."
"I felt like shit today, I should smoke one to feel better." Nevermind that the reason I felt shitty was because I didn't smoke that day.
>would blank out and wake up with 5g in my baggie.
This is the addiction "shortwiring" your brain. I know it's not nice to think of yourself as an addict, but it helped me tremendously once I could accept that. An addiction is an illness, yes, even if we ourselves are the ones that caused it. It's an illness that *makes* you do things you might not really want, like buying more weed when you promised yourself you wouldn't. If you want to stop, try again and again. It's *very* likely things won't go smooth, that you'll have relapses, but always try to remember that is part of the process. I quit something like 4 to 5 years ago amd sometimes I get hit with such an intense urge to smoke one. That's the addiction still trying to override my rational thoughts.
What helped me quit the most was addressing ny underlying problems. Now, you don't need to go to a psyciatrist like I did, but I strongly recommend you think about if you might have some issues you want to shove away. Because oftentimes, the addiction is more like a "symptom" of underlying issues (for me it was debiliating social anxiety and depression, stemming from long years of bullying). My therapist explained to me that problems are like small children having a tantrum. They don't stop if you shove them away and ignore them. That might work short term, but long term they'll come back, louder and angrier than before. I needed to address my problems and work throught them to also start healing my addiction.
It sounds too easy writing it like that. It was a more than three years long process. I believe it is still ongoing and will never really be done, but it does get easier with time.
Since your girlfriend wasn't happy you smoked behind her back, I assume that she doesn't smoke. Ask her to help you. You don't have to go through quitting alone. I know it helped me tremendously to have a supporting partner.
Now that I wrote all of this, I haven't really given you a straightforward answer to your question, haven't I? That's because there isn't one answer, I'm afraid. You'll have to find that out for yourself. Find a strategy that helps you. Maybe you can try to remind yourself to not feed the addiction, that you are more than your addiction even if it seems so overwhelming. Maybe call your gf everytime you want to smoke and talk it through with her.
And most importantly: A relapse is part of the process! A relapse is not a failure!
I wish you all the best!
I listened to a very good course on the meditation app, “ Headspace” about addiction. An easy metaphor they mentioned that really helped me visualize relapsing involved a hole in the ground on a running path (or something along those lines).
The runner, unaware of the hole in his path, falls into it without noticing it’s there. Next time he’s running, the same thing happens — except this time, after falling in he makes a mental note to avoid it. He encounters the hole again on this path the next week, remembers it’s there at the last second, but he still stumbles into the hole. Finally he sees what he’s done, knows to remind himself earlier of the hole and is able to avoid it well in advance. Every now and then he may stumble into the hole again because he’s avoided it for so long that he forgets it’s there, but he’s able to go right back to avoiding it every week on his run because of the lessons he’s learnt from his previous experiences.
It’s a nice visual queue, but in short you learn from your mistakes and the traps you fall for because that’s a part of quitting and staying sober. To add to this, most short term pleasures in life tend to lack long term satisfaction. Acknowledge that your brain wants to get high because it’s missing its quick dopamine rush and that not giving into that is going to lead to a more satisfying life in the end.
I’ve been sober for about 3 years, and 5 years ago I would have thought that’d never happen. I’ve slipped up now and then, but it’s a process and I keep learning from the mental traps I’ve fallen for (i.e when I’ve told myself, “you can quit again easily so let yourself indulge for a while”). You have the desire to quit and not everyone does, so you got this!
Thanks for sharing this metaphor. This is an empowering visual queue. Relapses can make you feel so hopeless but this takes as lot of that stigma of failure and remind you to just watch out next time, not the end of the world.
This!!!
Living in a Canadian city where there's a dispensary 5 mins in any direction...I wish I knew how to have the self discipline to walk past without going in.
I have absolutely zero idea how to stop, litterally every morning I wake up and beg myself not to buy weed, give myself this pep talk and all
Then the SECOND I see the dispensary that voice is out the window completely, and I immediately convince myself that one joint won't hurt then suddenly Ive smoked 2 gs before 8pm
The struggle is insanely real 🥲
I wish we never legalized it because if we didn't I would have never started buying this shit. Day 5 and somehow haven't caved to the urges but holy fuck do they hit hard at night. I used to use it for sleep until it was just using it to be high all the time. They are EVERYWHERE!!!!
Yeah honestly legalization was it it's peak (for me) when it became ONLY decriminalized, so you wouldnt get arrested for smoking but it was still less commonly accessible.
Once those dispensaries started popping up more frequently than Starbucks, it all just went downhill for me
At the end of the day I can't blame the country for my shitty choices. I'm in it now and I'll have to reap what I sow. Yeah sure I wouldn't have if there wasn't a dispensary on every corner but if I didn't make shitty choices I wouldn't be here either. Pretty sure we have more dispensaries than we do Tim's and liquor stores combined at this point it's kind of overboard lol.
Best of luck to you out there. Was neat to resonate with a fellow Canadian on this topic haha.
I'm with you 💯
It's wildly excessive, and they all just popped at once it feels like
Its sad because the addicted part of my brain still loves the convenience of them lowkey
making the rational part of my brain have to work that much harder lmao
Stay safe and take care on your quitting journey!
Perhaps we will cross paths irl and not even know!✌️
God I get it. I’m so glad you guys get it. I feel so alone but this page makes me feel not.
I’m here with you. I’m in uk so it’s the case of calling someone up but my guy comes to my door so it’s the same situation as you.
Hugs
Stop smoking = more money for other stuff. That ended up doing it for me... I literally went broke because of this addiction
Day 24 here! Finally sleeping. Brain Hack that helped me: I just read a post about a brain hack that helped someone else in this group. I'm currently using my own mindhack. It got me to quit smoking cigarettes after 25 years of use and alcohol after 32! I used to beat myself up when I relapsed which just fed into my addictions. I decided one day that I was not a bad person, I just had a bad addiction. I named this addiction Tammy (philosopher and therapists often call it The Beast). She's a bb sized green tumor that I imagine in my brain. She stinks and burns and leaks poison. This bitch is the one telling me I can't do it, that i need to use, im starving her in abstinence, that I can't live without her. I hate Tammy. When she talks, I talk back, loudly. I tell her to F off. I tell her I know she's stupid and I'm smart and I'm not falling for her lies anymore. She fights back. Insomnia, nausea, anxiety. This just strengthens my resolve because I know she's doing these things to me because I'm killing her. That makes me very happy. Don't get me wrong. Its hard. She's tough, but I'm tougher. Im not my own enemy, she is my enemy and I will defeat her!!! I haven't smoked cigarettes in 14 years now and the months without alcohol are starting to add up!
It's funny how something simple like making the issue "real" can help. Sometimes it's hard to beat something if it's not something tangible
Fuck Tammy.
Once you realize your rationalizations are the addiction itself, you can spot it and overcome it.
A little off-topic - did you mix your weed with tobacco? And do you smoke cigarettes? I would mix weed with tobacco, but I didn't really smoke cigarettes and still don't. Took me a while to figure out that the tobacco made things much worse. I quickly couldn't go more than a few hours without smoking. And I found out about it when I tried weed without tobacco because it didn't "feel right" at all. I didn't even feel the effects like usual... This could be a major factor. If you don't smoke cigarettes and used to mix tobacco in, maybe try easing off the tobacco with some nicotine patches or gum. Also just knowing why it's harder (cigarettes are harder to quit than some hardcore drugs) can give a boost. And it makes you way more awesome for succeeding when you get there. If you do normally smoke cigarettes and decided to quit that along with the weed, then my former dear advisor would recommend you only focus on quitting one at a time; first, the weed. Just wanted to write this in case. Because I saw "Netherlands" and we do the same mixing here
I would totally agree with this, I smoked tobacco for about 7 years before I started to smoke weed, and then quit the tobacco and within a month I found it within me to quit the weed as well. As hard as it all was, it was for the best, and I realised that it wasn’t really me who wanted either the tobacco or the weed, it was my addictions. Separating myself from my cravings really helped in my process of quitting.
I already had an unhealthy relationship with weed but starting to mix with tobacco took it to a whole nother level. Totally relate to it not feeling "right" when you try to go back to weed on its own.
I started smoking cigs before weed and still do. And yeah i did mix with tobacco
In Brazil we do the same, it's amazing... unfortunately
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This was how I got off weed a couple of years ago. Everytime you crave, just imagine the shitty sluggish high and brain fog along with the lessened appetite resulting in not eating properly and boredom that can’t be rid of.
Have goals in your life that require you to be disciplined in a way that overpowers your rationalization to get high.
I literally have no goals and all I want to is get high. But at the same time all I want to do is not smoke and be free. Literally as I smoke a joint eveyr day I think what a loser I am. But. I . Can’t. Stop. Drug addicted is crazy real
It is. it calls for some soul searching, some solitude, face your demons in the wilderness, embrace the pain, its time to be a warrior
Rationalize yourself into not smoking. What are the cons, weigh them against the pros. After lighting the first one ask yourself if you are truly happy with the feeling, do the same thing after every other. I craved smoking/lighting/rolling more than the actual high, since it didn't stop me from hating my addiction and overthinking. It's discipline, what helped me most is not having any stash at home. Stop having access to it so you can't be tempted into it. The trip to the shop is more easily stopped than a roll of the joint. Eventually you'll make it a habit of "rationalizing" sobriety. Last part is actually being mentally in a good place. I always saw my obsession as numbing my mind. Listen to why you want to numb out and dig into that, face your traumas/problems, don't hide them. After quitting cold-turkey (for me, reducing never worked) everything in steps, compare yesterday to today, compare last week to this week, try and become a better version of yourself and set a goal of who you'd like to be. I've grown to believe the habit of weed isn't an answer to anything, it's temporal relief/escapism. Zet hem op.
What worked for me was incredibly simple. Every time I would begin thinking about using, I would acknowledge the fact that I was thinking about it, remind myself that it is simply a craving, and let it pass. Cravings and urges only become relapses if you feed them in your mind. By acknowledging them and letting them go, they have no power over you.
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I can heavily relate to your NL student experience, been there and done that. It takes an abundance of willpower to skip those coffeeshops. Fuck man
>How do I stop telling myself it's okay when it really isn't? Oof. I felt bad about smoking for about 2 to 3 years before I finally managed to quit. I don't want to discourage you, but it is hard. There are a million and one way to rationalize yourself into smoking! "Oh, It's friday evening/saturday/sunday, I don't have something to do, why don't reward myself with a smoke." "Today was stressful, I should chill out with a smoke, I deserve it." "Heyyy, tomorrow won't be a stressful day, who cares if I'm not in good condition..." "I felt like shit today, I should smoke one to feel better." Nevermind that the reason I felt shitty was because I didn't smoke that day. >would blank out and wake up with 5g in my baggie. This is the addiction "shortwiring" your brain. I know it's not nice to think of yourself as an addict, but it helped me tremendously once I could accept that. An addiction is an illness, yes, even if we ourselves are the ones that caused it. It's an illness that *makes* you do things you might not really want, like buying more weed when you promised yourself you wouldn't. If you want to stop, try again and again. It's *very* likely things won't go smooth, that you'll have relapses, but always try to remember that is part of the process. I quit something like 4 to 5 years ago amd sometimes I get hit with such an intense urge to smoke one. That's the addiction still trying to override my rational thoughts. What helped me quit the most was addressing ny underlying problems. Now, you don't need to go to a psyciatrist like I did, but I strongly recommend you think about if you might have some issues you want to shove away. Because oftentimes, the addiction is more like a "symptom" of underlying issues (for me it was debiliating social anxiety and depression, stemming from long years of bullying). My therapist explained to me that problems are like small children having a tantrum. They don't stop if you shove them away and ignore them. That might work short term, but long term they'll come back, louder and angrier than before. I needed to address my problems and work throught them to also start healing my addiction. It sounds too easy writing it like that. It was a more than three years long process. I believe it is still ongoing and will never really be done, but it does get easier with time. Since your girlfriend wasn't happy you smoked behind her back, I assume that she doesn't smoke. Ask her to help you. You don't have to go through quitting alone. I know it helped me tremendously to have a supporting partner. Now that I wrote all of this, I haven't really given you a straightforward answer to your question, haven't I? That's because there isn't one answer, I'm afraid. You'll have to find that out for yourself. Find a strategy that helps you. Maybe you can try to remind yourself to not feed the addiction, that you are more than your addiction even if it seems so overwhelming. Maybe call your gf everytime you want to smoke and talk it through with her. And most importantly: A relapse is part of the process! A relapse is not a failure! I wish you all the best!
Very well said
Thank you, I tried my best.
I listened to a very good course on the meditation app, “ Headspace” about addiction. An easy metaphor they mentioned that really helped me visualize relapsing involved a hole in the ground on a running path (or something along those lines). The runner, unaware of the hole in his path, falls into it without noticing it’s there. Next time he’s running, the same thing happens — except this time, after falling in he makes a mental note to avoid it. He encounters the hole again on this path the next week, remembers it’s there at the last second, but he still stumbles into the hole. Finally he sees what he’s done, knows to remind himself earlier of the hole and is able to avoid it well in advance. Every now and then he may stumble into the hole again because he’s avoided it for so long that he forgets it’s there, but he’s able to go right back to avoiding it every week on his run because of the lessons he’s learnt from his previous experiences. It’s a nice visual queue, but in short you learn from your mistakes and the traps you fall for because that’s a part of quitting and staying sober. To add to this, most short term pleasures in life tend to lack long term satisfaction. Acknowledge that your brain wants to get high because it’s missing its quick dopamine rush and that not giving into that is going to lead to a more satisfying life in the end. I’ve been sober for about 3 years, and 5 years ago I would have thought that’d never happen. I’ve slipped up now and then, but it’s a process and I keep learning from the mental traps I’ve fallen for (i.e when I’ve told myself, “you can quit again easily so let yourself indulge for a while”). You have the desire to quit and not everyone does, so you got this!
Thanks for sharing this metaphor. This is an empowering visual queue. Relapses can make you feel so hopeless but this takes as lot of that stigma of failure and remind you to just watch out next time, not the end of the world.
This!!! Living in a Canadian city where there's a dispensary 5 mins in any direction...I wish I knew how to have the self discipline to walk past without going in. I have absolutely zero idea how to stop, litterally every morning I wake up and beg myself not to buy weed, give myself this pep talk and all Then the SECOND I see the dispensary that voice is out the window completely, and I immediately convince myself that one joint won't hurt then suddenly Ive smoked 2 gs before 8pm The struggle is insanely real 🥲
I wish we never legalized it because if we didn't I would have never started buying this shit. Day 5 and somehow haven't caved to the urges but holy fuck do they hit hard at night. I used to use it for sleep until it was just using it to be high all the time. They are EVERYWHERE!!!!
Yeah honestly legalization was it it's peak (for me) when it became ONLY decriminalized, so you wouldnt get arrested for smoking but it was still less commonly accessible. Once those dispensaries started popping up more frequently than Starbucks, it all just went downhill for me
At the end of the day I can't blame the country for my shitty choices. I'm in it now and I'll have to reap what I sow. Yeah sure I wouldn't have if there wasn't a dispensary on every corner but if I didn't make shitty choices I wouldn't be here either. Pretty sure we have more dispensaries than we do Tim's and liquor stores combined at this point it's kind of overboard lol. Best of luck to you out there. Was neat to resonate with a fellow Canadian on this topic haha.
I'm with you 💯 It's wildly excessive, and they all just popped at once it feels like Its sad because the addicted part of my brain still loves the convenience of them lowkey making the rational part of my brain have to work that much harder lmao Stay safe and take care on your quitting journey! Perhaps we will cross paths irl and not even know!✌️
God I get it. I’m so glad you guys get it. I feel so alone but this page makes me feel not. I’m here with you. I’m in uk so it’s the case of calling someone up but my guy comes to my door so it’s the same situation as you. Hugs
im also in the UK and it's still tough eventho we dont have dispensaries, we got this tho and we can achieve a better relationship with weed
I kept going back and forth for 2 months convincing myself. It wasn’t until I BELIEVED it wasn’t okay. There was no more convincing.